GREEN
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5438 28.86 KB 424
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>Exorcism isn’t the right word for it
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>”Boo!”
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>That implies some sort of malice to it all
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>”Oogaboogabooga!”
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>No, what you did was more like the work of a security guard chasing away kids that didn’t know any better
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>”Are ya spooked yet?”
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>It just so happened that the only place these ponies were trespassing in was the realm of the living
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“Sure am, Sheets”
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>”Is that what my name is?”
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>You cross your arms as you readjust the strap to your satchel and look at the small thing in front of you with a disinterested expression
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>Before you stands what looks like the silhouette of a pony wrapped in a white bed sheet outside town square
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>Two big blue eyes look out at you from eyeholes in the sheets
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“I have no idea. It’s just what I call every ghost that I don’t know the name of”
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>”Oh. Do you meet a lot of ghosts?”
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“About once a week, but that’s only because I travel around for my work. About two weeks ago I had to deal with three hauntings in Canterlot”
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>”Wow, that sounds scary”
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>Says the literal dead pony in front of you
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>You never hazarded a guess as to how this all worked
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>How some ponies went to the afterlife peacefully in their forever naps as they called them and how some would manifest as bedsheet ghosts that just kinda wandered around Equestria
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>It was your job to stop them though
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>”I’m sorry, I’m pretty new to all of this ghost stuff. So you’re a ghost catcher then?”
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“I prefer the term spiritual advisor”
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>”Well what do we do now then?”
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“Now I’m supposed to chase you away from this world and get you to where you need to be”
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>”Where is that supposed to be?”
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“The other side”
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>”The other side of what? The street?”
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“Sure, let’s go with that. Normally what happens is that my clients remember who they used to be and then they’re ready to cross over”
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>”I guess it would be nice to remember. I tried finding my house but I don’t remember if I even have a house. Maybe I live in a cardboard box like cute little kittens and puppies. Wait, if I’m your client then does that mean I pay you? I don’t have any bits though. Ghost don’t have bits”
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“We’ll talk about repayment later. So any names come to mind to you at all or is Sheets okay?”
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>”Hmmm...yeah, I’m drawing a blank. Or should I say blank-et? Hehe”
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>sensible chuckle.gif
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“Sheets it is then. You can call me Anon. Do you remember anything about yourself before your forever nap? What your cutie mark was? Who your family is?”
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”Nope to all of the above. Maybe you can help me check my cutie mark. It’s kinda hard for me to turn my barrel all the way with this blanket over me
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>The pony turns around and the sheet before you lifts up
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>You see nothing but air
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>Even where the eyes should be, you can see the other side of the sheet instead of pupils
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>Once again the sheet lowers and the pony faces you with it’s blue eyes
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>”Well?”
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“Nothing”
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>”Drat. Maybe my special talent is being invisible?”
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“Let’s file that theory under ‘good guess’ and move on. Try thinking hard on what you used to be like”
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>The pony closes its eyes and you can see the area around its face scrunching you
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>After two minutes of intense concentration it shouts out
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>”I remember now!”
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“What?”
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>“That I like strawberry ice cream”
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“Good. I can work with that. Let’s get going”
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>You turn away from the ghostly pony and start walking side by side with it
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>You can hear its invisible hooves trot on the street as the lamps illuminate the two of you going about your night
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>”So what are you anyways, mister? You walk on two legs like a diamond dog but you don’t have enough fur for one”
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“I’m a human. Not really from around here”
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>”Are all humans ghost advisors?”
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“Just the ones that can’t find any other job”
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>”How long have you been doing this then?”
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“Two years now. It all started when Grampa Pumpkin went into his uhhh, bye bye box, and started haunting his old farm”
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>”You must be really brave to fight a ghost like that”
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“I was only there to try to apply as a farm hand. I was new to town and nobody told me the farm was haunted”
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>”I’m surprised that nopony talked to you about it. Since you look…”
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>You can hear the ghost stifling some laughter
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“...pretty gourd-geous to me! Haha, get it? Pumpkins? Gourds?!”
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>”There wasn’t even a proper set up that time”
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“I’ll take what I can. Princess Celestia says that you miss every shot that you don’t take. Say, do you think I liked jokes before I took my forever nap?”
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>”Looks like you had an affinity for bad jokes, sure”
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>Before it can reply, you walk up the short stops of the local ice cream parlor and open the door
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>The bell over it rings and you don’t bother leaving it open for your new companion
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>Sheets just phases through the door as if it was nothing but air
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>The cool air and sweet smells embraces you and you can see the air conditioning is causing Sheet’s covering to sway slightly
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>A young mare with a green coat by the cash register looks up from her book and smiles at you
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>”Hi Anon, here for a scoop of-“
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>Her eyes wander from your frame to your guest and instantly explode in size
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>She screams out
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>”ARRRGGGHHHHHHH!”
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>She falls on her side, knocked out
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>Mint Chip, the ice cream mare, always does this when you bring a ghost over
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>You’d think she would have gotten used to it by the tenth time
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>Sheets walks over by the side of the counter and while you can’t see the invisible limb, you assume it pokes her in the cheek as she snores softly, drool already pooling on the floor
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>”Is she going to be okay?”
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“We’ll have our answer if another walking bedding department phases through the door. Do you want a cone or a bowl?”
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>”Cone please!”
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>You walk behind the pastel countertop and take a nearby small cone from a pile
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>You don’t know why they stock medium and large size ones since nopony you know can actually finish that much
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>After sliding the the display freezer door and rinsing the scoop, you take two large scoops of their creamy Strawberry ice cream and stack them in the cone
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>You lower your hard for Sheets to take the cone and it does, the bedsheet lifting up to reveal nothing as the cone floats underneath it and the sheet lowering again
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>”Thanks, Anon!”
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>You nod at it before grabbing a small cone for yourself and stack two scoops of cookies and cream on it
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>As the two of you step over Mint Chip on the way to a booth, you deposit four bits from your satchel next to the cash register to pay for the ice cream, as well as an additional one bit tip for causing her to faint
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>You take off your satchel and place it in the seat before taking a seat yourself across from Sheets
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>You can hear a tongue licking the frozen treat as you slowly work on your own
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>”Yum! Thanks again Anon”
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“No problem. Any reason why you remembered strawberry ice cream so well?”
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>”Not a clue. You think I used to be an ice cream pony?”
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“It’s possible. Maybe you have good memories associated with strawberries in general. One time I had to help out a ghost that liked warm things. He didn’t know it at the time, but we found out he just wanted to snuggle with his safety blanket one last time”
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>”So what happened with Grampa Pumpkin anyways?”
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>You can hear the cone crunching across from you
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“I walked into the field to get to the house when somepony covered by an old embroidered quilt walked up to me and tried to scare me”
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>”W-where you scared?”
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“You ponies are just too adorable to be scary. Plus I know what it can be like to have no idea where you are”
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>”I don’t know about that, Anon, I’m pretty spooky after all”
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>Sheets makes its point by standing up and waving its arms around
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>”Oooohhhhh”
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>You continue to lick your cone nonchalantly
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>It giggles as it falls back down on its flank to sit
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>”It’s alright Anon, you don’t have to be scared. It’s just me, Sheets!”
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“Right.Well I can tell you that I wasn't scared by Grandpa Pumpkin”
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“Was he royalty?”
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>A dread sense overtakes you
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“...no”
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>“So he wasn’t a...Pun King?!”
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>You smirk
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“Oh my gourd, what have I gotten myself into”
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>The ghost laughs hard
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>So hard that it collapses on the floor and you can see the sheets rolling around
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>”Haha, a-atleast, haha! At least we have pumpkin to talk about!”
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>This time you chuckle
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>Not because it was particularly funny but because Sheets joy proves to be infectious
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>You rummage through your bag and pull out a Polaroid camera that’s loaded with film
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>You stand up and kneel next to the pony as it starts to stand up, wobbling as it tries to regain its composure
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>It sees the camera and already knows what to do
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>It gets behind you and uses its invisible hooves to lift up itself so it’s head is right next to your own head as it rests it on your shoulder
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>The camera flashes and our pops the quick developed photo
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>You take the photo and examine it
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>In it, you’re smiling gently as the blanket covered pony looks into the camera with you
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>You assume it’s probably smiling as well judging from the eyes
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>”Can I see it?”
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>You show it the photo
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>Sheets jumps back
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>”Eeekkk! A ghost! Oh wait, that’s me”
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>You hear a groan, not a ghostly groan, coming from the cash register
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>Mint Chip slowly rises up tired and spots you
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>”Oah, that was a nice nap. Oh hey Anon, what are you doing he-”
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>Once again she spots Sheets
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>Once again she lets out a piercing scream
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>Once again she faints where she was earlier
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“We should get going”
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>After grabbing two more cones for the road, Sheets and you are walking alongside the road
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>It’s past closing time for most shops and at this point the village is practically empty
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>Good, you don’t need more panicked ponies on your hands
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>”So what’s it like?”
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“What do you mean?”
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>”You said that when I remember who I am, I’ll be ready to go to the other side. What’s the other side like?”
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“I don’t know”
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>”Then why are you sending ponies there? What if it’s a scary place where there aren’t any night lights in the bedrooms?”
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“I don’t think it is. Everyone here is pretty happy. I don’t think whoever made this world would make the next world any worse than this”
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>”I never really thought about what happens after I take my forever nap. Well, I guess I’d get really bored just laying down in a bye bye box for a really long time”
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“I’ve heard a lot of different ponies tell me different ideas about what happens, you wouldn’t get bored if any of them are true”
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>”Really? Like what?”
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“Princess Celestia says that you go up in the sky even if you don’t have wings and get to meet Faust. Princess Luna told me that maybe it’ll be like being in a dream where you can imagine anything you want and it’ll appear right before you. Another pony I know that works in bakery said that you’ll go to a forest where the lakes are filled with chocolate syrup, the trees are made out of lollipops, and the mountains are covered in ice cream snow”
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>You both turn a corner into the outskirts of the village
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>”I hope that last one is right”
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“Let me guess, the ice cream mountains?”
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>”No, well that’s a nice bonus of course, but I like likes. or is it the sand at the lakes?”
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“There’s a gryphon I met that told me that you’ll watch a movie”
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>”What kind of movie is it? I hope it’s a super cool adventure one! Maybe one with Daring Doo doing flips and kicks or maybe it’ll be a movie about the Huntsmare!”
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“It’s whatever genre you lived your life as. The movie is all about you and what you did before your forever nap”
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>”Borrinnggg. I already went through it before, why would I want to see it again?”
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“Because this time you’re not seeing it through your eyes, but through everyone elses that was around you”
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>”Oh. Well I guess that would be different”
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“You’ll see how you affected everyone around you and how they affected you. All the smiles, frowns, and everything in between”
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>”What happens when the movie is over?”
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“He told me that you’ll decide what happens next. You can decide either to reward yourself or put yourself in time out”
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>”Would you watch my movie with me?”
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“If there is a movie, I can’t watch it with you. You watch it yourself so that there’s nobody to lie or pretend to”
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>”Pfft, watching movies alone is no fun either. If I go to the skies at least I can do loopty loops”
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>To illustrate its point the ghost leaps in the air and flies briefly before a silhouette of wings appear under the bedsheets to allow it to do its own aerial trick
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>Sheets, clearly dizzy lands next to you again and sways gently as it tries to get its bearings
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>”Whoa, I didn’t know I could do that!”
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“Looks like you used to be a pegasus”
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>”I didn’t realize that. I really had to...wing that trick, Anon!”
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“A pegasus that likes bad puns”
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>The ghostly pegasus continues to laugh to itself as the two of you cross a bridge
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>”So where are you from?”
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“Ponyville”
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>”Never heard of it. Are there a lot of humans in Ponyville?”
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“Just one”
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>”Is it like you?”
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“Yeah. You could say that we’re exactly the same”
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>”Oh okay, I was wondering if that human had wings or a horn”
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“Here’s the plot twist, Sheets, I am the human”
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>”Whoa, I didn’t see that coming! So that means you’re the only human here?”
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“As it would seem”
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>”Does it...get lonely?”
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“Is it lonely to be a ghost?”
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>”I guess so? It was fun going around scaring other ponies though”
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“And why did you do that?”
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>”Because that’s what ghosts are supposed to do, silly filly!”
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“Right. Well I’m not lonely. Not anymore anyways”
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>”Now that I think about it I’m not lonely anymore either, I have you!”
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“Glad to hear it”
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>Eventually the two of you reach your destination
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>A public playground illuminated by bright streetlights
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>The swings rock gently as the winds blow on them and the bright colors of the jungle gym and slides are still visible under the constellation of stars above you
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>Sheets starts to flap its wings as it starts to hover at your height
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>The covering opens up briefly and you can feel a gentle force push your noise
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>”Boop, you’re it!”
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>It then zooms away into the playground
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>You chuckleas you take your satchel off and gently toss it to the ground as you run after your little apparition
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>Laughter fills the air from both you and it
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>After exhaustive hours of tag, catch, hide and seek in which you had to chastate it for cheating by taking off its cloak, and hopscotch the two of you are now going down slides
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>The good slides too, not the kind that has too much friction so you stop midway down and have to basically scoot the rest of the way
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>Sheets gets to the top of one slide and turns to you
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>So, I’m not complaining or anything Anon-”
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>It then goes down it as it’s front hooves are raised in the ai
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>”Wheeeee!”
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>The body then stops at the base
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>”-but did we go to the playground just to have fun?”
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“It’s all part of remembering what you were like. Did it jog anything?”
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>”Well I was jogging my legs”
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“I walked right into that one, or rather jogged into it”
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>”You make it too easy, Anon. But I do remember something”
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“And that is?”
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>”That it’s great to have friends again! It feels good to have somepony to laugh and play with again”
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“Do you remember any of your old friends?”
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>”I...I’m starting to see a kinda weird shape in my head. Like when you put food coloring into water and it looks like a water balloon that just popped”
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>The blue eyes of the pony expand in shock but it is silent
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“Sheets?”
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>”Anon! Do we have any water?!”
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>She yells out in an urgent tone
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>You only quirk an eyebrow as you pull out a water bottle from the various items in your satchel
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>”Quick, pour it over me!”
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“You sure? I don’t know if it’s possible to wash ghostly bedsheets”
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>Sheets rapidly nods
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>You unscrew the bottle and start pouring it over
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>The white bedsheet gets wet as it starts to cling onto an invisible form
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>Finally all 16.9oz of fluid is emptied out and you see Sheets still standing with its eyes closed in thought
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>Soon though it’s eyes open and they stare deeply into your own
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>“I...I…”
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”Yeah?”
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>It’s eyes shift momentarily away from you before refocusing
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>“I...I’m cold now”
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>A sigh escapes your lips
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>”Ah, don’t be like that. No need for the cold shoulder, Anon. Hehe”
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“So what was all of that about?”
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>”I thought that my memory came back but I guess was wrong. Oh well”
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>The blanket that was soaking wet a moment ago supernaturally turns dry again as wind sweeps it a tiny amount
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>Suddenly a small bit of hoof is visible momentarily at the bottom of your eye
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>Hmmm
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>You shrug your shoulders theatrically
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“Guess we’ll have to visit another spot then”
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>”Yay!”
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>It’s a short walk back to the bridge near the playground as the two of you chat once again
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>At about midway through the crossing you take your satchel off and bend down to tie your shoes
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>You lean on the short railing to balance yourself
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>But the railing is just too short
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>You fall over and land right in the river
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>Your arms flail as you call for help
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>To Sheets you’re in a struggle for your life as the threat of drowning increases
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>To you, you are perfectly safe
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>The River is slow and it barely even reaches above your knee if you were standing
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>You have to sit down and splash the water all around you constantly to make the situation seem more perilous than it really is
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>You’re an awful actor
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>”Anon! I’ll save you!”
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>But it’s good enough
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>Even with your eye lids squinting to prevent water from reaching inside, you can make out the wings of Sheets unfurling as it makes a great jump towards you
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>A clothed mouth bites around your collar and she pulls with everything she has
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>Of course you’re a bit too big for her to move
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>So you complete the illusion of its rescue by scooting on your but closer and closer to the street
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>All seems to be going well until it does a pull strong enough to make its teeth slip from your shirt and tumble into the water next to you
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>”No!”
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“Sheets”
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>”I don’t want to take a second forever nap!”
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“Sheets!”
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>”Can a ghost even drown?! Blurb blurb blurb blurb”
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>She just audibly said blurb
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>This is enough
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>You stand up and cross your arms once again
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“SHEETS!”
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>Your client freezes and looks at you before realizing that she’s standing perfectly safe above the water
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>She gives you a nervous smile
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>Yep, you can see her face now
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>You can see all of her perfectly visible form now, the blanket having been swept away when she landed in the water
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>She has burgundy fur with a yellow Mane, and a cutie mark of what looks to be an orange starfish surrounded by shells
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>You tap a finger silently
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>She still smiles nervously before finally speaking up
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>“Looks like it ended well, Anon. I got us COVERed! Ha!”
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“That joke doesn’t work anymore”
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>Her confusion is obvious as she tries to see what you mean
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>She lifts up a hoof and finally notices that her sheet is gone
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>“...oh. Guess I’ll have to make other puns now”
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“How long did you know?”
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>She avoids eye contact
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>”When you poured the water over me. It reminded me that I was a lifeguard and everything else kinda just came flooding back in”
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>Her face contorts into guilt for keeping it a secret
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>You sigh
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>And reach a hand out suddenly over her
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>She flinches, expecting some sort of punishment
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>But her fears prove to be unfounded when you gently lay your hand over her mane and comb through it with your fingers
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“I’m happy to hear you got back your memories. You should never forget who you are”
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>She enjoys the attention but is still hesitant to get fully into it
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>”I’m sorry that I tricked you, Anon. I just didn’t want it t end”
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“Having too much fun being a ghost?”
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>”No, it’s because I was having a lot of fun with you”
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>You raise a brow
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>Her voice starts to crack as her heart fills her throat
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>”You said that when I would remember who I was then it’d be time for me to go. But I don’t want to go. You’re my friend now. It’s not fair that we only got to play for one night”
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“I said you’d cross over only when you were ready. Becoming visible is just because you remembered your identity. We’ll still have plenty of fun, Sheets”
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>Her big blue eyes look at you again and there’s hope in them
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“Or do you want another name? I could keep calling you Sheets for old time’s sake. Paprika? Daisy? Mare to whom makes bad jokes the Third?”
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>She punches your elbow as she floats up, the impact feeling like a hit from a teddy bear
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>Her grin is wide
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>”Seasaw is good. In fact it’s more than good, it’s…”
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“Swell?”
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>She doubles over from laughing and wipes a tear from her eye
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“Looks like we’re trading bedsheet puns for ocean puns. Celestia have mercy on me”
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>”Don’t worry Anon, it’s NAUTical problem at all”
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>You shake your head as you walk over to your satchel and put it by your side once again
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>You lifts up the soft pony in your arms easily walk back to the playground
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>After placing her in the seat of one of the swings, the two of you are enjoying time together as you push her higher and higher, her cheering on every time she’s lifted up
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“So what was the deal with the ice cream?”
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>”Everytime my shift was over at the beach I’d buy a strawberry ice cream cone to cool off. Me and my friends would just sit on the beach and lick up ice cream as the sunset”
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“That sounds nice”
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>The squeak of the chains on the swing punctuate both your sentences
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>”How about you Anon? What did you and your human friends do before you got here?”
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“I don’t know”
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>”You don’t have to be embarrassed, we’re friends now! Maybe we can do the same things you and your buddies did together!”
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“I don’t know what we did. I don’t know if I even had friends”
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>Now it’s her turn to show her obliviousness
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>”...what?”
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>Your neutral tone doesn’t change as you continue to push her swing
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“When I came here I was wrapped up in a bedsheet too. I still don’t know who I was or what my name is”
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>”But your name is Anon!”
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“That was the name ponies gave me. It’s fitting, I guess. It took weeks for them to be brave enough to try and talk to me. I remember trying to ask where I was but ponies like Mint Chip kept fainting”
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>“How can I see you then?”
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“Eventually Celestia met me and treated me nice, trying to help me find out what happened and where I came from. I just wanted to repay her and tried to be nice also. Eventually I got used to the name Anonymous and then I just came to look like this. We’re not sure if I really am human, I just looked like a picture from a book about myths”
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>”So...you don’t really remember your old life?”
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“Not a thing. Not even what I used to be like”
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>”Well I like you the way you are right now”
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“That’s good to hear”
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>The moon hangs low in the sky and you can see that the horizon is starting to turn a shade of violet
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>”I’m kinda scared”
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“Scared of what?”
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“This other side sounds a lot more different than going to the other side of the street. What if there’s nopony else in the candy forest to play with? Or if Faust has mean words to say to me, or what if I don’t like watching my movie?”
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”Just think about your happy memories. You can think of me too if that helps”
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>“But you won’t be there when I go away”
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“But we’ll still be friends. And one day we can play together again if you want “
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>”I want to!”
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“There we go then. Something for both of us to look forward to”
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>”Yay! Since you’re my spiritual advisor do I pay you money on this side or the other side. I could maybe find some buried treasure in the sea”
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>Your hand connects to her soft fur right before you push her higher in the swing
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“You don’t have to pay me money at all, Seasaw. I just want a favor”
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>”What is it? I can do a lot of things! Like swim, do loopy de loops, eat three cookies at once, and swim!”
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“Will you remember who I am, Seasaw?”
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>”Sure! There’s no way I’m going to forget you, Anon! But what else do you want?”
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“That’s it”
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>”That’s it? You don’t want anything else?”
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“I’m kinda scared of the other side too. If there is a movie, I don’t know what the movie will be like since I don't know what I was like. Was there something I had to leave behind? Do I deserve all of this? Will I be angry at the person I used to be?”
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>Seasaw is quiet as she goes up and down, listening to your words
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“But what I’m most afraid of is that I’ll forget everything again. It happened once already. It might happen again. It just doesn’t feel right not knowing who I am”
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>“It’s going to be okay, Silly Filly. I’ll remember who you are and I’ll remind you when we meet again. You’re Anon and you like cookies and cream ice cream and you're a human. We’ll remind each other who we are if we both forget again! I’ll even talk to Faust about you”
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“I’d like that, a lot. Thanks, Seasaw, it’s nice knowing there’s ponies waiting for me on the other side ”
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>”And it’s really super duper good knowing there’s going to be another friend that’s going to be there with me”
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>She turns to you, mouth open in the widest smile you’ve seen so far as the first rays of dawn streak through her mane as she sits in the swing going up and down, her hooves grasping the chains
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>You can sense it
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>A burden taken off, fear of the unknown gone and in its place the warm promise of companionship and purpose for what is to come
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>It’s never easy though
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>Never easy to say goodbye to a friend
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>”I can’t wait Anon”
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>She turns away and faces the rising sun, joy in her voice as you push her nearly to the highest point of the swing
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>“We’ll run and play everyday and take naps under the shade”
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>The chirps of birds start to sound as they greet the morning
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>”And we can go to the beach and swim for as long as we want”
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“Don’t forget the strawberry ice cream”
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>”Of course! We’ll get some ice cream and watch the sunsets together”
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“So what you’re saying is…”
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>Seasaw knows what’s to come and is already stifling giggles again
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“...we’ll chill together”
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>You both laugh together the way only two friends do when a joke isn’t very funny, but laugh regardless because one tried to make the other happier
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>She looks at you one more time, her blue eyes glistening and hopeful
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>The sun has now risen over the horizon and with your final push, the swing goes up and crosses the beam of the sun, blinding you from following it with your eyes
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>The swing comes back down
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>It is empty
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>It’s never easy
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>”...goodbye, Seasaw. Until we meet again”
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>You sit down on the swing that was next to Seasaw’s
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>From your satchel you take out a large well worn book and open it up to a blank page
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>You also take out the photo from earlier, the one taken in the ice cream shop
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>But it has changed
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>From where there used to be a bedsheet ghost, now there was a cute little burgundy pony hunched over your shoulder, smiling with ice cream stains on her mouth that’s shaped in a smile
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>It used to be a photograph of a worker and his client
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>But now it’s two friends enjoying a moment together
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>With some tape you secure the photo to the center of the page
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>You dig out out a pen and start to write down information
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‘Seasaw’
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‘Lifeguard’
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‘Likes Strawberry Ice Cream
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‘Enjoys bad puns’
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>You think on your words momentarily before erasing the last part and filling in something new
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‘Pretty Punny’
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>You close the book and run your fingers over the cover
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>Over it are handwritten words
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>Memento Mori
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>You’re not sure where you came upon that phrase
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>Did a pony mention it to you one day?
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>Was it something from your old life?
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>Regardless, you thought it appropriate to put it on this volume
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>Seasaw was the 112th soul that you helped cross over
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>The other 111 were also in the book in your lap, each one having their own photographs, names, and other bits of information you learned about them
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‘Jetlag’
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‘Broomhilda’
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‘Merry Weather’
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Sourdough’
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‘Musician’
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‘Janitor’
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‘Engineer’
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‘Homeless’
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‘Hates cold bread’
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‘Married for sixty years’
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‘Enjoys waltzing’
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‘Likes piggyback rides’
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>You memorizes every single name and fact of every single being in your book
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>Afterall, you promised each one that you would remember them
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>And in turn they would remember you
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>You stow away your book once again and look over at the empty swing formerly occupied by Seasaw
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>...
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>...
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>...
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>You get up again and start to walk back home
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>You resolve to stop by the ice cream parlor on the way and grab a scoop of strawberry on the way though
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>Yeah
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>That sounded cool
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The End
by MisterAnon
by MisterAnon
by MisterAnon
by MisterAnon
by MisterAnon