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Schlorp Schlorp Schlorp

By Starbounce
Created: 2021-07-16 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-03-25 20:33:54
Expiry: Never
anonlyraslice of lifesafeschlorp

  1. 1.
    Based off of https://derpy.me/zUzwj
  2. 2.
     
  3. 3.
    >schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp
  4. 4.
    >"Can you drink like a normal person, please?"
  5. 5.
    >Lyra's tongue freezes mid-air as she looks up to you
  6. 6.
    >"What do you mean?"
  7. 7.
    >"You keep making those... sounds. Every time you stick your tongue in the water."
  8. 8.
    >"What, like this?"
  9. 9.
    >schlorp
  10. 10.
    >"Yes, like that! And it's gross!"
  11. 11.
    >"How else am I supposed to drink it?"
  12. 12.
    >"Like a civilized person, not a dog!"
  13. 13.
    >Lyra scoffs and puts a hoof up to her chest in mock indignation
  14. 14.
    >"Oh the nerve! If only you knew what the mares around town were saying about you, you wouldn't be calling /me/ the dog!"
  15. 15.
    >"Hey, what's that supposed to mean!"
  16. 16.
    >Lyra snickers
  17. 17.
    >"Oh, nothing. Now come on, show me how I'm 'supposed' to drink."
  18. 18.
    >Your brow furrows
  19. 19.
    >"...fine, but you're gonna tell me later."
  20. 20.
     
  21. 21.
    >You grab a moderately-sized glass from the cupboard and fill it with water
  22. 22.
    >"Now instead of slobbering everywhere like some kind of animal, you gently pour it in to your mouth. Like so."
  23. 23.
    >You raise the glass to your lips and drink a hefty gulp
  24. 24.
    >Lyra's face scrunches up in a mixture of concern and disgust
  25. 25.
    >"Your getting your gross monkey lips all over the glass drinking like that!"
  26. 26.
    >"Yeah, that's why we wash them. And hey, you're dipping your gross horsey tongue in that water! That's way grosser!"
  27. 27.
    >"Well duh, that's because I'm drinking it. If some other pony wants to drink out of my water, that's their problem!"
  28. 28.
    >Hm
  29. 29.
    >"Could you at least try doing it my way? Just once?"
  30. 30.
    >Lyra rolls her eyes
  31. 31.
    >"Fiiine, but you'll have to walk me through it, and you owe me some ear scritches afterwards."
  32. 32.
     
  33. 33.
    >You top the water off in your glass
  34. 34.
    >Lyra sits down and raises her muzzle to you
  35. 35.
    >You lean down and gently move the glass to her lips
  36. 36.
    >Lyra's golden eyes are watching gour every move
  37. 37.
    >"Ready?"
  38. 38.
    >"Ready."
  39. 39.
    >You tip the glass forwards, trickling water into her mouth
  40. 40.
    >Lyra's eyes bulge out
  41. 41.
    >Her chest spasms
  42. 42.
    >And water sprays out of her mouth into your face
  43. 43.
    >You let out a (manly) yelp and scrabble backwards
  44. 44.
    >The glass clinks against the floor
  45. 45.
    >Water goes everywhere
  46. 46.
    >You look down at yourself
  47. 47.
    >Your face and shirt were absolutely soaked
  48. 48.
    >You look up at Lyra
  49. 49.
    >Her face and mane were also absolutely soaked
  50. 50.
    >You look down again
  51. 51.
    >So was the floor
  52. 52.
     
  53. 53.
    >"What was that for?!"
  54. 54.
    >"I didn't think you'd try to drown me when you said you wanted me to try your way!"
  55. 55.
    >You let out an aggravated sigh
  56. 56.
    >"Whatever. Experiment failed. Let's clean this puddle up before the floor rots."
  57. 57.
    >You grab a nearby hand towel, get down on your hands and knees, and start wiping the water up
  58. 58.
    >schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp
  59. 59.
    >You wince and look to your side
  60. 60.
    >Lyra's using her weird horse tongue to drink the floor-water up
  61. 61.
    >You shake your head and sigh
  62. 62.
    >Fucking ponies man

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