Pants in the Relationship pt. 2



                                            "Fuck, fuck, and another FUCK!"

                                            >You're running late, you were supposed to be out of the house by 11:35, but it's already 11:55 and you're just stepping out of the shower.

                                            >You overslept and kept pressing that snooze button thanks to Ditzy, her body warmth put you to sleep and kept you there.

                                            >Hastily you step out of your bathroom, the steam that emits from the shower storms into your bedroom.

                                            >A towel wrapped around your waist, you rush to your closet searching for your trusty 'classy attire'.

                                            >Ditzy sits on your bed, waiting for her opportunity to latch onto you.

                                            >You start pulling things out of the closet and tossing them on Ditzy in search of your dress shirt, slacks, and sports coat.

                                            >"Umm, Anonymous," Ditzy she says raising a hoof.

                                            >You turn around to her only to stub your left big toe on the closet door.

                                            >You grunt in pain kneeling to grab it but the door decided it wasn't finished with you yet.

                                            >Bump your head on the doorknob and fall back into the closet and trip over your heavy laundry bin full of clean clothes that you just slide into the closet lazily yesterday.

                                            >Out of desperation, you reach for your sport coat's sleeve and hold tight.

                                            >Oh look, you found your sport coat, now to find the other two items on your list.

                                            >You fall on your back and get the wind knocked out of you.

                                            >You have reason to believe Ditzy rubbed some of her klutzy self onto you.

                                            "MOTHERFUCKER!" You manage to shout.

                                            >You can hear Ditzy laughing out loud, it was just a loud comical boom, bang, crash and thud to her anyway.

                                            >You crawl out of your closet like you were the lone survivor in a war who barely got out alive.

                                            >In an instant, your mind flashes back to a war story your grandfather told you without your consent.

                                            >"All this G.I. Joe nonsense, making War look fun, HA! Lemme tell ya, you won't find any fun back in the 38th Parallel! You'd get your eye put out faster than you can say 'mustard sandwich'!"

                                            "Shut the fuck up grandpa!"


                                            >"Huh?"

                                            "Nothing," you say with a groan rising to your feet. "Now, what did you want?

                                            >You barely make it to your feet and smile, pleased that you found the rest of the classy attire covering Ditzy.

                                            >She shakes out of them and makes a sweet giggle.

                                            >"Found your outfit, hehe."

                                            >Okay, that was drop-dead adorable.

                                            >You walk over to the foot of the bed and collect your clothes.

                                            "I'll be in the bathroom."

                                            >"Okay! Oh and by the way..."

                                            "What?" You ask as you approach the bathroom door.

                                            >"Nice tushy."

                                            "What the hell are you--?"

                                            >You lost your train of thought when all at once, it occurs to you that you've had your klutzy episode with only a towel wrapped around your waist.

                                            >Your face turns flush when you felt the sudden breeze brush against your ass and your mind tries to form a sentence.

                                            >Remain calm Anon, just play it off.

                                            "That's the only free peep show you'll get from me, hope you enjoyed it."

                                            >"Mhm, enjoyed and cherished."

                                            >She has some nerve, being all smooth like that.

                                            >Is this what she's like when no one's around?

                                            >You walk into the bathroom, shaking your head.

                                            >Change into your clothes, except your pants and, you'll get into those downstairs.

                                            >You don't want to risk making a misstep down the stairs, you'd rather not get another unwanted flashback about grandpa's infamous war stories.

                                            >You're still in pain from your recent clumsy episode.

                                            >Holy hell, how does Ditzy do this on a daily basis? Damn near get killed from being a walking accident waiting to happen.

                                            >You open the door and roll your eyes from Ditzy standing just outside the door, she shuts her mouth when she sees you only have boxers on.

                                            "Check and mate."

                                            >With the pants folded over your arm, you walk past her with your boss stride.

                                            >Thankfully, you don't get into another injury from descending the stairs.

                                            >You change into your pants and walk to the mirror in the hallway that's on the wall adjacent to the door.

                                            >Taking a glance, you straighten your tie and, but notice a minor bump on your forehead.


                                            >"Hey," Ditzy says.

                                            "Hm?"

                                            >You look down and find Ditzy offering you a band-aid.

                                            >You take it in gratitude.

                                            "Thank ya kindly."

                                            >...

                                            >Okay, Applejack's 'way of talking' is really starting to grow on you.

                                            >You look to the mirror and apply the Band-Aid accordingly.

                                            >Give yourself a wink.

                                            "Who's that sexy beast?"

                                            >You can hear Ditzy laughing in her throat.

                                            >Right, Ditzy the pants latcher is your company.

                                            >Fuck, you can't have a moment to yourself, can you?

                                            >You check the time on the wall clock in the living room and find that Rarity's is going to tear you a new one.

                                            >Alright, wallet? Check.

                                            >Keys? Check.

                                            >Ditzy on your pants?

                                            >CLINK!

                                            >You didn't even have to look, you know Ditzy has latched on.

                                            >... Check.

                                            >Time to get movin'.

                                            >You fling open the door and off with the weird waddle walk you go.

                                            >You're not even going to downplay it, having Ditzy latched onto you the majority of the time is getting under your skin.

                                            >She doesn't seem to be giving up any time soon either.

                                            >Walking anywhere with her is making you a laughing stock, but at the same time there aren't any mares that are flirting with you, so you got that going for you.

                                            >By the time you look up, you're already at Bonnet's Equestrian Cuisine.

                                            >When you walk in, you had a pleased smile on your face, thank God for air conditioning, the walk here was exhausting.

                                            >The place was fancy, as to be expected since it was Rarity's choice.

                                            >You walk over to the greeter by the door, having a black mane and brown fur, standing behind a podium with a list of names in a book.

                                            >She held a subtle grin at the sight of you, covering her mouth with a hoof, doing her best to remain calm.


                                            >"Table for two?" She asks, failing to hold in her snickers.

                                            >You flash an unamused glare at her.

                                            "Har har. Actually, I'm running a little late, my party should already be here, look for Rarity."

                                            >She looks down scanning the names, her eyes widen and she smiles.

                                            >"Ah, yes. Right this way sir."

                                            >You follow her through the not-so-crowded place, sure it's busy, but not unbearable.

                                            >But you did feel the stares, hear the smarmy chuckles and everyone around is most likely judging the hell out of you.

                                            >So many noses turned up toward you, it makes you cringe.

                                            >Fuck, where is Rarity?

                                            >"There you are! My word, you're twenty minutes late! We almost started ordering!"

                                            >Seems she's found you.

                                            >When you lay eyes at a corner booth, you couldn't be happier to see familiar faces.

                                            >You thank the greeter as Rarity steps out of the corner booth to let you in.

                                            >"I hope you don't mind, but we already ordered drinks and I got you water," Rarity informs.

                                            "That's fine with me, Rarity and sorry I'm late, ladies," you say while taking a seat, you face your right and smile at Fluttershy. "Fancy meeting you here, Fluttershy."

                                            >Fluttershy keeps a giggle to herself.

                                            >Rarity dismisses your statement with a calm hoof wave as she sits.

                                            >"Save your apologies. Now, Anonymous, meet Coco Pommel, my new and first assistant. Coco, meet Anonymous, the only human in this land."

                                            >Holy shit, Coco's cute.

                                            >You reach your hand over to her, offering a handshake.

                                            "Pleasure to meet you," you say, putting on your best dazzling smile.

                                            >She returns with a smile of her own and a soft hoof shake.

                                            >"Likewise, oh I hope you don't mind me asking, but umm, why is there a Pegasus attached to your pants?"

                                            >Rarity leans toward your ear.

                                            >"Told youuuuu~"

                                            >Whaddaya know? It did make for a great ice breaker.

                                            "It's a bit of a story I'm afraid, how are you liking P0nvyville?"

                                            >"Far smaller than Manehatten, but feels more personal, you don't have to worry about the hustle and bustle."

                                            >"Agreed," Fluttershy says.

                                            >Coco cuts her eyes to Fluttershy, both having a mutual interest, you can almost hear the sparks pop.

                                            >They stare long enough for it to become awkward.

                                            >"Umm... Hey," Fluttershy says.

                                            >"Hey," Coco returns, her head landing in her hooves, her attention practically fixed on Fluttershy.

                                            >You and Rarity look at each other with wide eyes.

                                            >Both of you were thinking the same thing.

                                            >You lean over to Rarity.

                                            "You're seeing what I'm seeing right? Is this happening?" You whisper.

                                            >"I... did not expect this. Interesting turn of events," she replies with a whisper of her own.

                                            "One less mare chasing me, I'm okay with this, both are cute as a button."

                                            >"Indeed, how do we go about getting these two-"

                                            "You paying for wine? At this hour?! Well, if you insist, Rarity!"


                                            >You can tell Rarity wants to end you from the frown on her face.

                                            >Both Coco and Fluttershy ears perk up and turn in your direction.

                                            >"That sounds lovely," Fluttershy says.

                                            >"Agreed," Coco chimes in.

                                            >Once again she leans toward your ear.

                                            >"I'll get you back for this, mark my words."

                                            "Worth it."

                                            >Especially if you can get Fluttershy off your back.

                                            >A waitress swings by with a notepad ready.

                                            >"Are you all ready to order?"

                                            "Actually, I'll need a f-"

                                            >Rarity cuts you off by wrapping a front leg around your left arm and kissing your cheek, leaving you in a daze.

                                            >You weren't sure if that actually happened or not, but Ditzy is growling.

                                            >Rarity turns back to the waitress, giggling.

                                            >"My, -hubby- here, will be having a salad, oh and can we -please- have a glass ginger ale?" She inches closer to the waitress, "the poor dear has an upset stomach."

                                            >The waitress jots it down.

                                            >What is happening?

                                            "Now hold on just a moment I-"

                                            >Using her magic, she zips your mouth shut.

                                            >She gives you another sweet peck, "Temper, darling~"

                                            >Okay, what in the living fuck?

                                            >This is too far, even for Rarity. Fluttershy's face is scrunching, Coco on the other hand looks as confused as a homeless person on house arrest.

                                            >You dart your eyes down to Ditzy and she too has the same scrunching face, and for a moment, you swear steam is coming from her forehead.

                                            >"Any dressing for the salad?"

                                            >"Blue cheese, lots of blue cheese with mustard and ketchup."

                                            >You literally gag at the thought, horrid combination.


                                            >"Anything else?"

                                            >"That'll be all for my hubby bubby~"

                                            >Ditzy bumps the table, causing Rarity's drink to spill. Once Rarity's drink landed in her lap, she gasps in shock, the magic around your lips fade away.

                                            >"No! My dress!"

                                            >She steps down from her seat and excuses herself while rushing to the Mare's room.

                                            >While she's off doing that, you smile at the waitress.

                                            "Please, ignore everything she just said, she's a bit... Mental."

                                            >You look down at Ditzy.

                                            "Thank you," you whisper, giving a wink.

                                            >Ditzy's cheeks turn bright red.

                                            >The waitress nods, crossing out the God-awful order.

                                            >"Okay, what'll you have?"

                                            >You give the menu a brief scan, blow out from your mouth, finding you don't have a damn clue what you want to get. But there’s something you usually fall back on.

                                            >Closing the menu, you look up at the waitress.

                                            "How's your alfredo?"

                                            >A nod of approval from the waitress.

                                            >"Fine choice sir, according to some of the harshest critics, our alfredo is superb. Anything else?"

                                            "That'll be all for me."

                                            >She writes down the order, then promptly gathers orders from Fluttershy and Coco.

                                            >Once she was gone, Coco decided to address the elephant in the room.

                                            >"So... what just happened between you and Rarity?"

                                            "Her trying to sabotage my order. Just letting you know now, me and her tend to mess with each other, out of fun of course. I'll admit she thrown me for a loop this round though."

                                            >"Thanks for the heads up," Fluttershy replies.

                                            "Yeah, trust me, there's nothing to be alarmed about, Fluttershy."

                                            >Once again you look down at Ditzy.

                                            "Same goes for you and again, thanks."

                                            >She tilts her head, closing her eyes briefly as a humble way of saying "you're welcome."

                                            >Now to wait on food and wine...


                                            >Ten minutes later, everyone's order arrives at the table including the wine, Rarity is pretty upset about that.

                                            >She keeps staring at you, planning and plotting her next attack. All the while, Fluttershy and Coco are drinking in content.

                                            >Not that Rarity will succeed in her plans, as long as you have The Ditzy.

                                            >You'll be sure to treat Ditzy later, her helping you avoid that terrible order was pretty awesome of her.

                                            >In the meantime, you're answering questions left and right at the moment.

                                            >"So, what do you do for a living, Anon?" Coco asks.

                                            >You shrug your shoulders.

                                            "Just about anything, I'm more of a handyman around here."

                                            >"P0nyville, having its own handyman? Good to know, I might need your help, I'm renting an apartment just across town. The previous tenant wasn't too kind to it."

                                            "Just let me know if you need me. The odd jobs aren't so steady around here."

                                            >Rarity taps your shoulder to get your attention.

                                            >"On the contrary, Anonymous. I happen to know a few ponies that could use a hand."

                                            "Well send them my way. I could use the bits."

                                            >"Will do."

                                            >Coco chugs the rest of her wine and sighs in appreciation.

                                            >"Okay, can we please talk about the elephant in the room?"

                                            >Another one?

                                            "That being?"

                                            >"Why do you have a Pegasus attached to the front of your pants?" Coco asks loud enough for the employees washing dishes in the kitchen to hear.

                                            >You notice a few ears turning in your direction. A waitress who's trotting by slows her stride.

                                            >A young stallion in fancy attire at a nearby table leans back in his chair as Applejack calls it, 'ear hustling'.

                                            >You let out a long sigh.

                                            >Jeez, snooty folks sure love being nosey.

                                            >And Coco is two for two, she's on a roll today.

                                            "Alright, long story short, Ditzy is trying to get me to take her on her dinner date and until I do, she'll just latch onto any pair of pants I have."

                                            >Coco laughs wholeheartedly.

                                            >"HA! Now -that- is adorable, how long has it been?"

                                            "Roughly two days. So far I can manage."


                                            >Everyone at the table nods in content.

                                            >The stallion leaning in his chair falls backward to the floor.

                                            >Chuckles were had.

                                            >Despite the fact you're having a good time, you'd honestly rather be back home reading that book you keep putting off.

                                            >You're uncomfortable being here and the added heat in your crotch area isn't helping.

                                            >Tugging at your collar, you find that you really need to get the fuck up out of here.

                                            >These mares are only catching up with each other anyway.

                                            >As if someone up in the clouds wanted to give you a hand, a waitress comes by with the check.

                                            >You reach into your pocket and feel around for your wallet.

                                            >Rarity taps your shoulder to get your attention.

                                            >"So darling, what are you doing after this?"

                                            "Going home."

                                            >Coco waves a hoof out to get your attention and a harmless smile on her face.

                                            >Your eyes turn to her and you nod.

                                            "Sup?"

                                            >"Would it be too much trouble for you to check out the place after this? I'd really like to see what you have to say about it."

                                            >Rage spaz internally. So much for getting home.

                                            >But, you do need the bits.

                                            "Not at all, I can give you a rough estimate on fixing the damages, might even fix a few things at a discount price."

                                            >She sighs in relief, her eyes calm.

                                            >"Thank you."


                                            >After that lovely meal, you and Coco arrive at her apartment on the other side of town that happens to be close to your favorite diner.

                                            >You make a mental note to stop by Bonnet's Equestrian Cuisine more often, that Alfredo was pretty damn good. The waitress didn't steer you wrong.

                                            >Coco fiddles with the keys, informing you of the situation.

                                            >"Anyway, like I was saying, the apartment is pretty much mine, the landlord let me have the keys to check it out to see if I'm comfortable with it."

                                            >Opening the door to the place, she flips on the light only for nothing to light up, thankfully a window without blinds or curtains lets the sunshine in.

                                            >Stepping into the place, you notice the carpet is riddled with all kinds of drink stains, possibly piss.

                                            >The odor coming from the carpet is horrid, looking down to your new belt buckle (Ditzy), her face scrunches, eyes closed while shaking her head.

                                            >You pet her mane to show some sympathy for her.

                                            >The paint on the walls was just fine, but all the while, Coco studies your face, waiting for your expertise.

                                            >"S-so how bad is it?"

                                            >You pinch your chin, not really intimidated by the damages.

                                            "I've seen worse, but I need to see all of the apartment to let you know what we're dealing with. Where's the kitchen?"

                                            >She points just ahead of you and you start walking.

                                            >When you enter the kitchen, you were a little relieved when the light turned on.

                                            >The place is spotless, tiles clean, no roaches scattering to hide, nothing fishy about the sink. Heck, even the stove looks like it's never been used.

                                            >You walk over to the fridge, to check its contents.

                                            "Gotta say, Coco, everything is looking good here," you say opening the fridge.

                                            >Only to be utterly terrified.


                                            >Vines wrap around the shelves, rotten food growing fungi that have evolved it seems.

                                            >A buff as fuck cockroach that's the size of your head looks at you while nibbling on a grape.

                                            >"Alan Waaalkeeer... Watashi no boru wa shiokaraidesu."

                                            "..."

                                            >You slam the fridge door and leap backward as you let out a bitch scream.

                                            >Coco jolts from your sudden movement.

                                            >"What?! What is it?"

                                            "Okay, what the fuck?!"

                                            >Looking down at Ditzy, you can tell she's thinking the same thing.

                                            >Flashing an innocent smile to Coco, you chuckle.

                                            >"What? What's in there?"

                                            "Yeah, I think you might need to get a new fridge."

                                            >"Really?"

                                            "Coco, trust me on this, you'll need a new fridge."

                                            >"Okay, what was in there?"

                                            "You really don't want to know. The next stop is the bedroom."

                                            >"Mmmm~" Ditzy hums out of nowhere.

                                            >You flash your belt buckle a look of disappointment.

                                            "Et Tu, Ditzy?"

                                            >You've lost count of how many times Ditzy's cheeks went cherry red.

                                            >Coco trots away, heading for the bedroom, you of course follow.

                                            >While walking behind her, you can only hope that the fridge is as bad as it gets.

                                            >Coming to the doorway, you lean against it the room already lit from Celestia's sun once again.

                                            >Scanning, there's nothing that sticks out about the room, it's the usual.

                                            >Bed, closet, nightstand by the bed.

                                            >The carpet wasn't bad, just a few drinks stains, so this place isn't completely hopeless.

                                            >But in all seriousness, the first thing Coco should do is get rid of that fridge.

                                            >Clasping your hands together, you exhale.

                                            "Alright, this place isn't as bad as I thought, how much are you’re going to be paying a month?"

                                            >"Just four sixty, I already saved up enough for the couple of months I'll be here."

                                            "Okay, why not just move in with Rarity for a couple of months? It'll save you some bits."

                                            >"True, but I really like this town already, after living in Manehatten for so long, P0nyville is a breath of fresh air. Plus, I like having a place of my own."


                                            "I hope you can put up with the musical numbers," you mutter, cutting your eyes away.

                                            >"Hm?"

                                            >You've been in Equestria a little over two years, more specifically in P0nnyville.

                                            >A majority of the population couldn't possibly be nicer.

                                            >Everyone knows everyone which is code for "Nosey as fuck."

                                            >You can put up with Pinkie's nonsense when it comes to parties and if you're in a good mood, you'll be the life of the party next to Pinkie Pie.

                                            >Sure the mares are sex-crazed, you can deal with that, it's a nice boost of confidence for you.

                                            >But if there's one thing that's worse than Hitler, it is the God awful, under-the-skin-and-crawling-annoying musical numbers.

                                            >You're not sure what's worse about them, the fact that they happen at the most random times.

                                            >Or the fact that if you try to resist or tell the singers to shut the fuck up, they pull you in.

                                            >Like the one time you went grocery shopping to get some toilet paper.

                                            >While in line, some filly bumped into Granny Smith and didn't apologize.

                                            >All of a sudden the whole damn store went off on some "Respect your elders" number.

                                            >You rub your forehead trying to ease the headache of that memory.

                                            >The place wasn't busy at all.

                                            >You only went there to get one item: a bulk of toilet paper.

                                            >FUCK. MOTHERING. TOILET PAPER!

                                            >Usually, you'd be in and out within ten minutes. If it's busy.

                                            >Yet it took three damn hours to get out of that place all thanks to other unsuspecting fillies asking "what does that mean?"

                                            >Then the number starts up all over again.

                                            >WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY TEACHING THOSE FILLIES IN SCHOOL GOD DAMN IT?!

                                            >WHAT DON'T THEY GET ABOUT THE SPIDER BIT TIT-FUCKING PHRASE "RESPECT YOUR ELDERS"?!

                                            >Anon, calm down, that happened ages ago, let it go.

                                            >Coco tilts her head, "feeling okay?"

                                            "What? Oh yeah, yeah, I'm alright."

                                            >You've got some inspecting to do, but for the record: Fuck that noise.


                                            >"Can you take a look at the bathroom?"

                                            "Hm? Oh right, yeah."

                                            >You put down your Cup of Rage (sort of speak) and head for the bathroom that was at your immediate left.

                                            >Thank God another light switch works, and yet another sign of relief everything seems to be okay.

                                            >But you're not out of the ballpark just yet.

                                            >You make it over to the sink and turn on the facet.

                                            >The water was crystal clear.

                                            >You test the hot water.

                                            >Funny thing about hot water: It's hot.

                                            >You snatch your hand from the facet, almost felt like you just suffered a second-degree burn.

                                            >Walk over to the bathtub and turn its facet on.

                                            >Nothing wrong here.

                                            >Course, that'll mean you'll have to check the facet in the kitchen.

                                            >Not that you're in a rush, that Japanese Steroid juiced roach is something you'd rather not cross paths with again.

                                            >Seriously, what the fuck? How does that even happen?

                                            >You shake your head before you start questioning everything about reality, face Coco while clearing your throat.

                                            "Alright, Coco, do you have a pen and paper?"

                                            >Before Coco could respond, Ditzy it is tapping your side.

                                            >Looking down, you find she has what you're looking for.

                                            >A grin crosses your face while you nod in approval.

                                            "I'm not even going to question where you got this from."

                                            >You place the piece of paper on the sink and jot down a number on it then pass it to Coco.

                                            >She studies it for a moment, you're not sure what she thinks of the price, you can't read her at the moment.

                                            >Looking up at you, she gives you an innocent smile, "that's not too bad, when can you start work on this place?"

                                            >You shift your weight uncomfortably.

                                            "How about first thing Monday? It'll take a few days. Really, it's not that bad. Just some carpet cleaning, a little wiring for light switches, and some light bulbs and you'll be fine."

                                            >"That's okay with me."

                                            "Good, but I gotta ask, where are you going to be staying while this project goes on?"

                                            >"At a motel, I don't mind spending the money, really."


                                            >You would invite her to stay at your own place, but one mare is one too many.

                                            >And if she doesn't mind spending the Bits, who are you to stop her? She's working with Rarity anyway, she'll make good money.

                                            >"So, here is the key," Coco says, hoofing them over to you, "I'll be staying at the Sunlight Motel, room number thirty-four."

                                            >You take them, looking down at her then present your other hand for a hoofshake.

                                            "You're in good hands, Coco. I'll see you when this is all done."

                                            >She gives you a firm business-like hoofshake.

                                            >And with that, you two go your separate ways.

                                            >You were tempted to go to the Horseshoe Diner, but you're more set on getting home to finally get some sleep before work tomorrow.

                                            >Besides, the skies are grey today and a light drizzle is starting.

                                            >You've paid your debt to society for being out in public this long, getting into your nice comfy home is all you can think about.

                                            >Just as you got out into the open, the rain comes pouring down on you and Ditzy.

                                            >Looking up, the droplets splash against your face.

                                            "Fuck."

                                            >Has it ever rained this hard in spring?

                                            ===

                                            >You make it to your doorstep having all the drained energy thanks to the extra weight.

                                            >Leering at Ditzy, you shake your head. The water on your face falling onto hers.

                                            >You drag yourself inside, almost too tired to close the door behind you.

                                            >You're soaked from head to toe, your entire being is shivering. Just uncomfortable.

                                            >Rubbing your head, you look up, eyes closed while you let out an exhausted sigh.

                                            >Slip out of your shoes and walk to your back door.

                                            >Fling open the door and put your shoes on the back porch to let them air out.

                                            >Nearly brought to your knees when you climbed the stairs.

                                            >Reaching the top step, you take a breather, leaning against the stair rail's post.

                                            "F-fucking... Ditzy."

                                            >Checking up on Ditzy, you're only returned with an ear to ear to grin.

                                            >You groan, looking up to the ceiling to give The Man Upstairs the stink eye.

                                            "Stop snickering, this isn't funny."


                                            >Looking back down again, you put on a harmless smile.

                                            "Ditzy, would you please give this a rest just for the rest of the day? I mean, look at me, I'm a mess."

                                            >To your surprise, she lets go, landing on her hooves, and starts massaging her cheeks.

                                            >You walk straight to your closet when you get in your bedroom to collect a more comfortable attire.

                                            >Black sweat pants and a T-shirt, socks, the casual shit.

                                            >You wash up, back hunched over while the warm water hits your body.

                                            >You go over your plans for what you have tomorrow.

                                            >Might sleep in until ten, then head over to Coco's apartment with your tools and get to work.

                                            >And as for whatever Applejack has planned for you, fuck that.

                                            >You get out of the shower and dry off then put your comfy clothes on.

                                            >Fall backward on your bed.

                                            >You hear the door's hinges creak and see Ditzy's head in the door, fixing an eye on you while she tilts her head.

                                            >Her soaking wet mane is in her face, her chin dripping water onto the floor.

                                            >Chances are she needs a shower as you did moments ago.

                                            >You let out a sigh, being in a calm, reasonable mood.

                                            "You can use my shower, just don't use up all the hot water, okay?"

                                            >"Thank you," she says before trotting into your bathroom.

                                            >Shortly after, the water is running and you doze off.

                                            >Only to wake up at 10 in the evening.

                                            >The blinds were closed, a thunderstorm underway, it's not too bad, but the rain is pouring down heavier than before.

                                            >The ceiling fan keeps the room at a comfortable temperature.

                                            >Your body is fairly warm, you can only assume that's Ditzy providing the warmth with her body.

                                            >Which of course it's Ditzy, you can hear her snore into your chest, her front legs wrapped around your neck.

                                            >You have no reason to blame her, it's comfy.

                                            >Kinda miss the closeness of another body.

                                            >For a moment, you and Ditzy were living together in perfect harmony.

                                            >Then... Everything changed when there was a knock on your front door.


                                            "What the fuck now?"

                                            >Ditzy stirs a little, her grip around your neck tightens.

                                            >"Hmmm?"

                                            "Ditzy, someone's at the door."

                                            >"No don't go, we need more hours of stamp payments on the first year of the month chocolate."

                                            >What even...

                                            "Ditzy, move, I gotta answer the door."

                                            >No response, only more snores.

                                            >You push Ditzy aside delicately, and you sit up.

                                            >Ditzy just rolls over on her back and keeps snoozing away.

                                            >The knock gets louder and you step off your bed opening your bedroom door.

                                            "Yeah yeah I'm COMING! SHUT UP!"

                                            >You stomp down the stairs, getting ready to give the pony who's knocking on your door a full verbal assault.

                                            >You take a deep breath as you swing your door open, getting ready to yell at the pony.

                                            "There better be a good fucking reason why--"

                                            >"Why what, fella?"

                                            >Fucking hell, it's Applejack.

                                            >Making a chuckle, you decide to save the verbal assault for another pony that doesn't have the ability to hog tie you with expert skill in two seconds.

                                            "What are you doing here this late?

                                            >"Sorry to stop by like this, Ah'm just looking to get out of this weather for a while."

                                            "That doesn't answer my question, since when were you awake after ten in the evening?

                                            >"Look, Anon, Ah'm already soakin' wet as it is."

                                            "Now, Applejack, I realize you have needs, but ew."

                                            >"Not that ya idjit! Mind if Ah just stay over just until the storm is over?”

                                            >You yawn in your hand before responding.

                                            "Alright, come on in."

                                            >You step aside while Applejack wipes her hooves on the doormat before stepping inside.


                                            >"Thanks again for lettin' me stay here for a while," Applejack says while sipping on her hot chocolate.

                                            >You shrug it off, not making that much of a big deal out of it.

                                            >Applejack and you are sitting at the kitchen table, drinking hot beverages, and are just talking.

                                            "It's no big deal, not like I get much company around this time anyway. Well, except on weekends."

                                            >Applejack nods then she scans the room, an eyebrow raises on her face.

                                            >"Speakin' of company," she says before checking under the table. "Where the hay is your little love dove?"

                                            >Some days, you'd like to slap the smirk off her face.

                                            "Do you want to lose your hot cocoa privileges?"

                                            >"Whoa there fella, just making conversation, but where is Derpy? Ah thought she'd... hang around longer than this."

                                            "Terrible pun. Her name is Ditzy and she's asleep upstairs in bed."

                                            >Just as the words were leaving your mouth, you can already picture the shit Applejack is about to pull.

                                            >"In bed? Well that's just--"

                                            "Don't start, nothing is going on. She just so happen to decide to sleep in my bed after using my shower."

                                            >...

                                            >OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

                                            >Applejack engages her trouble-making grin.

                                            >You're stepping left and right in it today aren't you?

                                            >Before Applejack can make a peep, your glare at her, pointing a finger.

                                            "It's not what you think, I assure you."

                                            >At that moment, you hear a series of stumbles and bumps going down the stairs.

                                            "Speak of the Ditzy."

                                            >"Ow, I'm okay!"

                                            >You face her direction and lift your cup of cocoa.

                                            "Good evening, Ditzy, we're having hot cocoa, care to join us?"

                                            >Ditzy gets on her hooves and dusts herself off then trots over.

                                            >"Oh, no thank you, I'll just have some cereal."

                                            "Eh, alright."

                                            >You pay no mind to her, you and Applejack get back to NOT talking about Ditzy.


                                            "So, Applejack, this project you were talking about the other day, what is it?"

                                            >"Oh we're just tearing down this ol' shed back in the west side of the orchard."

                                            >A smile crosses your face.

                                            "So that's why you came lookin' for me."

                                            >"Yup, Ah know how much ya like a demolition mission."

                                            "Demolition mission? Stealing that. Letting you know right now."

                                            >"So do you have plans tomorrow? Ah, know you're having a tough time trying to get a steady income."

                                            "Not really, but I'm doing some repairs for Coco's apartment she's moving into on Monday.."

                                            >"Coco? She's movin' into town?"

                                            "Yeah, I figured Rarity might've told you. Guess not."

                                            >"Huh, interestin'."

                                            >She blinks a few times and her eyebrows furrow as if something had just clicked.

                                            >"Hey, why the heck couldn't ya just work with me yesterday? Since apparently Ditzy isn't going to stop you and you're doing nothin' tomorrow!"

                                            "To be honest, too lazy to."

                                            >She scoffs while leaning back in her chair.

                                            >"Well how in the hay can ya expect to keep your bills paid if ya keep slacking off?"

                                            "Celestia ex Machina?"

                                            >"Don't think so sugar cube, ya burned that bridge with that stunt ya pulled at the last Gala in Canterlot."

                                            >It was tough trying to keep your laughter to yourself from recalling the memory. However, you're surprised Applejack knows that 'Deus Ex Machina' term.

                                            >Long story short, you slapped a saddle on Celestia when she was talking to some representative from some other kingdom.

                                            >Slapped her flank and her horse instincts kicked in and she ended up kicking over cake onto unsuspecting guests.

                                            >To be fair, you were a little drunk and someone from the griffon kingdom gave you a dare you couldn't refuse.

                                            "Oh yeah. Fun times."

                                            >You forgot how you got the saddle.

                                            >Anyway, they also offered you a shit load of bits if you actually went through it.

                                            >All that money is gone now from buying the house you're living in as well as the furniture.

                                            >... And the make-shift bar that you have set up in your basement.


                                            >Even though you're proud of it, you only chill down there when Dash, Soarin, Cheerilee, Pinkie, and of course Berry come by on the weekends.

                                            >Usually, all of you talk about events that went down in the week. Complain, laugh, and cry. The usual.

                                            >Ditzy has a seat adjacent to you with a coffee mug with a spoon in it.

                                            >"What the hay? Ditzy, what's that ya got there?"

                                            >"Cereal."

                                            >You and Applejack exchange confusing looks for a moment, then you face Ditzy.

                                            "You're having cereal in a coffee mug? Are all the dishes dirty or something?"

                                            >"Not at all, but you're almost out of Honey Bunches of Nopes."

                                            "But why."

                                            >"Honey Bunches of Nopes are my favorite."

                                            "Yeah, mine too, but why are you eating it out of a coffee mug, you mad mare?"

                                            >"Get bigger scoops, and when you're almost out of cereal, you can drink the milk easier and if there's still some cereal left, it's easier to get."

                                            >You're lost for words from having your mind blown.

                                            >Is this a regular thing? Who else does this? You're curious now.

                                            "Ditzy, who are you?"

                                            >"Your mail mare," she says with a smile.

                                            "Easy, smart ass. You know what I mean."

                                            >"Take me out to dinner, you'll find out."

                                            >Applejack laughs out loud, slamming a hoof on the table.

                                            >"Ah like her, Anon! She's a keeper!"


                                            End of part 2