GREEN
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5860 32.44 KB 598
5860 32.44 KB 598
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>"Thanks again for lettin' me hang around until this storm blew over."
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"Applejack, you thanked me seven times already, go home."
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>"Alright now. Can Ah expect you to be at Sweet Apple Acres on Saturday at six in the mornin'?"
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"Pff, you can't even expect me to be out of bed by noon."
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>She rolls eyes, "Welp, worth a shot to ask. You and your little love dove have a good night, now!"
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"Ugh, yeah whatever, bye."
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>You close the door and walk to the kitchen sink to knock out the dishes used tonight.
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>By now, it's a habit.
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>No matter how little the number of dishes, wash them because the alternative would be the return of "The Sink of Mysteriousness".
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>You shudder at the thought. Neglecting dishes for two weeks is a deadly thing to do. The sink becomes a fucking magical biohazard.
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>Turning on the facet in the left sink, you squeeze some liquid dish soap into it while putting three cups and a spoon into the sink.
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>As the water accumulates, Ditzy flutters over unnoticed, scaring you half to death.
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>It's something about hearing fluttering wings approaching you at this time of night.
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>"Need some help?" Ditzy inquires, rubbing your left shoulder.
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"Not really, but thanks for asking."
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>You grab a dish towel and start busting some suds, and let the hot water blast the inside of the cups while making a swirling motion with them.
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>After a couple of short minutes, you already have the cups drip-drying onto a dry dish towel.
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>You turn your back to the sink and cross your arms while Ditzy sits on a kitchen island across from you.
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"Alright, since that chore is out of the way now, sup?"
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>"Figured we can talk for a little while before we get in bed together," she replies, shrugging.
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>You had to close your eyes to keep from rolling them.
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“Could you not phrase it that way?”
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>Having an eyebrow go skyward, she flashes a confused look.
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>”What? I was just saying--Ooooh.”
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1/19
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“Yeah, exactly.”
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>"But it's not like -that-, not yet anyway."
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>You clear your throat, ignoring that last bit.
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"Anyway, what did you want to talk about?"
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>”Our deal needs some tweaking.”
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“Tweaking?”
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>You shift your weight, leaning toward her.
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>”Mhm, it has to be two dinner dates now.”
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>Glaring at her, you notice a smile forming when studying her face.
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“You’re enjoying this way too much.”
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>”A little bit, mhm.”
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>You lean back, taking a deep breath.
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“Okay, so why do I owe you two dinner dates now?”
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>”Because of our 'break' from the pants thing.”
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“Oh come on, it was raining out there.”
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>"I'm not finished; you also didn't share any of that Alfredo, much less offered."
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"Alright, granted on that one, it was amazing."
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>"I know, I used to work at Bonnet's in my younger years."
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>You flash a look of genuine interest. Questions about her past form into your mind.
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"As a chef?"
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>"As a waitress, but I would always have a plate of it every Friday when I got off from work."
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"Nice sounds like comfy times."
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>"You know what else is comfy?"
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"What?
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>”You and me sleeping together.”
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“Okay, now you’re just doing that on purpose.”
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>”Wait, there’s more,” she starts, fluttering up to you. “On a huge muffin~”
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>You’re not even sure how to react; you’ve never had to deal with a mare like this.
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>Even though she isn’t exactly the prettiest penny in the jar, she seems like a mare that you wouldn’t get bored with.
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>It's almost like you don't even notice her wandering eye.
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>Ditzy is what her name suggests, ditzy, but seeing this side of her makes you wonder if she’s actively redefining the word.
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>Almost.
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2/19
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“On a muffin huh? Seems like a waste of a good treat.”
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>Ditzy strokes her chin with a hoof, putting on her thinking face for a moment.
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>Tilting her head to the left, she giggles, “Yeah, you’re right. Hehehe!”
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>God damn that giggle, too cute.
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“So, bedtime?”
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>"Not -quite- yet,” she replies. “How about that dinner date tomorrow?”
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“I’ll get back to you on that,” you answer, walking toward the living room.
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>”Mkay, Anon, but it's not like you're doing anything tomorrow."
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"I'm broke as a joke right now. I gotta cut back on spending and all that."
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>That meal with Rarity and the others really knocked a dent in your wallet.
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>Fucking Rarity and her expensive taste.
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>Still the Alfredo was worth it.
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>"I'll pay."
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>You turn around to her just before you start to climb the stairs, your face perfectly conveying befuddlement
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>Ditzy stays afloat, aloof as if she's said nothing odd.
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"You wot, mare? You're going to pay for the dinner date?"
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>"Mhm. What's the big deal?"
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"That seems a bit backward."
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>"True," she agrees, giving a nod, "but I did ask you out, not the other way around. So it'll be on me. C'mon, it'll be fun."
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>You shrug, having a hard time seeing a downside.
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"Well, who am I to deny a free meal?"
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>"Figured you would go for that, now for the fine print.”
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“Aw fuck,” you say, looking up at the ceiling.
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>She punches your arm playfully, starting up another giggle storm.
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>”It’s nothing bad, hear me out,” she says with a smile. “You and I have to-“
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“Ditzy, I’m aware that I’m irresistible, but you gotta keep your urges for me under control.”
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>Another playful punch lands on your right arm.
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3/19
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>”Well I can’t help it! You’re very snuggable! Don’t you even -think- of cutting me off!”
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>You cackle as you climb the stairs, but find you’re having trouble trying not to stumble.
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>That was both funny and adorable. Where has she been?
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>When you walk into your bedroom, you head for the window to close the blinds.
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>Crash land on the bed back first, letting out a sigh.
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>Only to groan when Ditzy lands on top of you, knocking the wind out of you.
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“Ooof! Damn it Ditzy!”
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>”I slipped, oops~”
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"Bullshit."
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>You close your eyes to finally get some sleep.
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>”But seriously, there really was fine print.”
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>You exhale through your nose.
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“And what might that be?” You ask, yawning afterward.
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>”You help Applejack on Saturday.”
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“Fuck. I think I’ll pass on that free meal.”
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>”Oh c’mon, you’ll get paid, not to mention I’ll help and won’t be in your way.”
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>You crack your eyes open for a moment to look at her.
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"You serious?"
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>"Mhm. Promise."
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"No pants hanging bullshit?"
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>"Not until after you've finished the project."
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>Well, that doesn't seem so bad.
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"Alright, sure whatever, deal, what time?" you ask with a yawn while you wrap your arms around Ditzy.
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>"How's seven in the morning?"
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"Great. Fine time."
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>Ditzy yawns into a hoof before nuzzling into your chest.
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>”Goodnight, Anon."
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"G'night."
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---
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4/19
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>You turn over on your left side facing the window.
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>A warm smile on your face from the smell of chocolate chip muffins lingering in your sheets.
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>However, your body isn't burning up like it usually would.
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>Although you'll admit the snuggling is totally comfy as shit.
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>Cracking open your eyes, you take note that Ditzy is out of bed.
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>You squint your eyes from the sunlight that leaks through the blinds.
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"Fuck, morning already?"
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>Shrugging, you go back to getting some shut-eye.
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>That was the idea until you hear sounds of pots and pans colliding with the kitchen floor and a distinct "THUNK".
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>"Ow! Not cool!"
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>Another loud thunk and a series of clangs lead you to believe something is going down in the kitchen.
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>You sit up in bed, groaning.
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"Ditzy, what the hell..."
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>You get out of bed to see what the fuck this clumsy pony is up to.
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>You wouldn't want some sort of Final Destination death trap going on.
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>Sitting at the kitchen table with Ditzy, you shake your head out of pity.
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"How do you do this every day? Seriously?" You ask, handing Ditzy a bag of frozen peas.
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>Making a chuckle, she just shrugs while taking it.
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>"I just wanted to make coffee," she replies wincing while applying the frozen peas on the top of her head.
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"Ditzy, you shouldn't open cabinets. You're way too much of an easy target for Death."
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>Apparently, when Ditzy opened one of the cabinets, a pot that wasn't put away correctly was just waiting for the door to open so it can fall out.
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>Its target: Ditzy's head.
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"You alright?"
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>"I'm tougher than I seem!" She shoots back with an upbeat tone, beaming at you.
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"Ditzy, you're adurable."
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>"Nice one!"
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"How about you let me make the coffee, okay? Stay here."
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>"Okay!"
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5/19
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>It only took a few short minutes to prep the coffee.
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>While you wait for it to brew, Ditzy seemed to be in her own world, same for you since you aren't officially awake yet.
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>Once finished, you and Ditzy gather around the coffee pot, pouring your own cups of the bitter bean.
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>Ditzy nudges your arm while she pours her cup.
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>"For future reference, how do you like your coffee?"
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"Well, I don't know about you, but I like coffee in my cream and sugar."
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>She snickers, but found you were dead serious when you didn't stop adding sugar after the fifth tablespoon.
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>"What are you going to do with all that energy?"
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"I’m going to the basement to set up."
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>She tilts her head in curiosity, "huh? Set up for what?"
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"Going to have company over, gotta clean up my bar and whatnot."
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>"You have a bar downstairs?"
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"Yeah, wanna check it out?"
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>"Mhm!"
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>"Nooo waaaay," Ditzy says with her mouth hanging open.
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>Her eyes behold the beauty of your basement, your pride, and joy.
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>An L-shaped bar with a nice mahogany finish, and bottles of liquor on the shelf behind it.
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>You have the usual stuff that one would expect behind a bar.
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>However, you need to stalk up on limes and lemons meaning you'll have to do some shopping today.
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>Some barstools, tables, and chairs including a special round table in the corner for some good ol' fashion poker
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>It's a shame you don't have any beer on tap. Maybe after another big payday you'll do just that.
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>In the meantime, a mini-fridge with packs of beer will do fine.
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>You nudge Ditzy's side with an elbow.
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"Pretty cool right?"
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>She turns to you, nodding. "Coolest thing ever."
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"Yeah, anyway, I need to get cleaning."
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>"Hey umm, need some help?"
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"I'll be alright, thanks though."
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6/19
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>"Maybe I can mop the floors? Set up the tables and chairs?"
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>Just from her asking the question you can already picture the disaster that can happen.
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>Not to be a dick, but you'd rather she keep her clumsy self away from the shelves of liquor.
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"Ditzy, thanks but, I've got this."
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>"Is there anything I can do to help?"
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>She can be so upbeat, so quick to offer help without even thinking twice about it.
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"Again, thanks for the offer, but I'm used to setting everything up by myself."
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>"Oh, okay," you notice her ears drooping.
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>Fuck, you didn't think she take that to heart. She's almost frowning now.
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>Taking a deep breath, a task comes to mind.
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"Actually, there is one thing."
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>And just like that, Ditzy's face lights up with a smile.
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>"Really? How can I help?"
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>You pull out a list from your pants pocket and hand it to her.
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"Could you get these items from the store? I'll need them for some drinks I've been craving."
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>She doesn't respond right away, just scans the list.
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>Looking back up at you, she beams, "what happened to cutting back on spending?"
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"It won't cost much."
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>"Mkay, but it's gonna cost ya."
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"There's always strings attached isn't there?"
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>"What? I just wanna learn how to bartend a little."
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>Ditzy?
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>A bartender?
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"You wanna learn how to bartend?"
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>"Well, yeah. Why not? I wanna learn from the best."
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>God damn her flattering.
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>This could be fun and it could help her be a little less clumsy.
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>You rub the back of your neck, keeping a humble smile on your face.
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"Well, I wouldn't say I'm the -best-, but--"
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>"I mean, doesn't having a drink after our dinner date sound fun to you?"
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"Sounds like a good way to start a weekend."
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>"Exactly! So, deal?"
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"Deal, now hurry back with the stuff alright?"
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>"Aww, gonna miss me -that- much?"
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>You roll your eyes while you making a shooing motion with your hand.
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"Just... go. You had too much coffee. The bits are on the kitchen counter."
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7/19
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>"Hehehe, okay."
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>She flutters back upstairs while you walk behind the bar.
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>You walk over to the mini-fridge and open it to grab you a beer.
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>Twist off the top, take a swig, and then you take in your surroundings, still proud of crossing the main thing off your bucket list.
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"Fuckin' sweet," you tell yourself while nodding in approval.
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>"Isn't it a bit too early for drinking?" Ditzy asks out of nowhere.
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>You look in her direction to find her poking her head into the basement.
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"It's five o'clock somewhere in this multiverse," you say, shrugging your shoulders.
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>You start cleaning soon after your refreshment, mopping up the floors and sweeping up the corners.
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>You have the place smelling like some pony knock-off version of Lemon Pledge.
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>Give the bar a quick wipe down.
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>Inventory check your liquor shelf.
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>Looking at your makeshift bar, you take a deep breath.
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>You hear a set of hooves descend down to your basement.
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>You laugh in your throat because there are only three ponies that would come into your house without knocking.
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>And one of them is running an errand for you, and another is currently working an eight-hour shift at Sugarcube Corner.
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>Walking behind the bar, you grab your trusty towel and start to give the bar a polish.
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>Once the hoofsteps stopped at the bottom of the stairs, you toss the towel over your shoulder and cross your arms.
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"You're here early, Berry."
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>She trots up to her usual seat, a barstool that's at the corner of the L-shaped bar.
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>Taking a moment to take a gander at her. You smell a welcoming grape aroma.
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>Her mane nice and neat, her fur shining.
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"What have we here?" You ask, walking over to her.
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>Standing in front of her, you only smirk, letting the silence fall for a while.
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>She groans, rolling her eyes.
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>"Ugh, hurry up with your smartass comment."
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8/19
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"What? I was just gonna say you look nice," you reply, shrugging your shoulders.
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>"That's all I'm getting out of you, isn't it?"
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"And not a word more. So, how about a beer?"
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>"Too early."
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>You raise an eyebrow, moving your head closer to study her face to face.
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"Are you okay? Too early? For a beer?"
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>"No, for ridiculous questions, yeah I'll have a beer."
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"Sweet."
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>You walk over to the mini-fridge, grab a bottle of--
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>"Actually, you know what? I'll have a glass of Three Wise Mares."
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>You turn around, nodding while you break a smile.
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"Berry, you made my day, I haven't made that drink in a while."
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>You walk to your liqueur shelf to grab some Applejack Daniels, Joan Trotter, and Jamie Sun Beam.
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>You slide a Collins glass that has a third of each over to Berry.
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>Put the bottles back where they were while Berry enjoys her drink.
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>"Mmmmm~"
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>Facing her again, you can see her eyes light up.
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>"You're the only one in this town that can make this properly. Isn't it sad?"
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>You have to laugh. What the hell is so hard about the drink?
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"Crazy, I know. So, why are you here so early?"
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>Downing the rest of her drink, she puts the glass down and clears her throat.
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>"Free drinks? To see your handsome face? Take you upstairs and show you a good time?"
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"Nope, ain’t buying it. Talk."
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>"Ugh, fine. I need you to do me a favor."
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"Fuck."
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>You pinch the bridge of your nose, preparing for something that'll probably screw you over.
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>Usually when she says, "I need you to do me a favor," the majority of the time it's borderline illegal.
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"Fuck, alright, let's hear it."
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9/19
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>"Well, okay, so, I met this stallion at my new job, and he asked me out, claiming he wants to get to know me over a few drinks."
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"He doesn't know what he got himself into, poor bastard."
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>She punches your arm in response while you laugh it off.
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>"Shut up, I'm not that bad. Anyway, I told him about a nice quiet spot that I visit once every blue moon."
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"Okay, what does that have to do with me?"
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>She cringes, "I... -may- have told him about your little bar."
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"Wait, you just wanted to make sure if it's okay to have him here?"
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>"Well, there's more at stake, you see, he's my boss and I want to make a good impression."
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"Oh, gotcha."
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>"Now, I'm the last one to ever ask this but, can we tone down the rowdiness tonight?"
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"That's seriously it?"
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>"Mhm."
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>Well, that's a relief.
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"Sure thing, Berry, I'll let the others know when they get here."
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>"Thanks, Anon, you're the best. Now, can I get a Mojito and an Angel's Tit before I go?"
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"You can get out."
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>She laughs, making a teasing hoof wave.
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>"I'm just kiddin'. You don't mind if I keep you company, do you?"
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>You shrug your shoulders.
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"Eh, I've got some time to kill before my date tonight."
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>Berry blinks a few times while tilting her head. Her eyes locked on you waiting for you to give up the info.
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>"Since when did you start going on dates?"
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"Since tonight. That's all I'm telling you."
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>Berry's face scrunches. "You never tell me anything!"
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"You've got the biggest mouth in town. If I told you that I'm getting married, Cadance would be sending me a letter of congratulations in the next hour."
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>"Oh that's ridiculous!"
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"What would be ridiculous is the fact that she'd be the last to know."
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>"Oh screw you, I don't blabber -that- much."
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"I'm just messin' with you. So, how about another shot of Three Wise Mares?"
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>"Make that three."
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"Whoa, slow down there, Berry."
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>"What? One for me and two for you. You gotta catch up, handsome," she says as she winks.
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"Alright, alright point made."
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10/19
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>For the next twenty minutes, you and Berry chat about the week, catch up for the most part.
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>Sadly, not everyone is here yet who hangs out with you on Friday nights.
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>By the time Ditzy arrives, you've got a buzz going.
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>As she descends the stairs, Berry holds her sides to contain her cackling.
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>"Mother of Celestia, that joke had everything! A schoolhouse, a timberwolf, and lube! You are -filthy- Anon! HAHAHA!"
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"Would you believe me if I told you Rarity told me that joke?"
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>"Pfff, what?! You're full of it!"
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"I swear she did. Don't let her fool you."
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>"Special delivery for Anonymous."
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>You turn to Ditzy and give her the 'sup' nod.
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"There she is, brings on ze stuffs."
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>"Anon, I think you may have made that last one a little too strong."
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"Shuddup Berry."
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>Ditzy trots behind the bar and flutters next to you while holding a bag of lemons and lime.
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>"Wait a minute," Berry says, shifting her eyes between you and Ditzy. "You two actually know each other?"
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>You take the bag from Ditzy while giving her a thankful nod.
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"Yeah, she's my date tonight."
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>"Ahhh, it all makes sense now."
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"What are you on about Berry?"
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>"Well, there has been -some- talk about the two of you. But I didn't pay much mind until now. What’s up? You two a couple yet?"
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"Ha, funny."
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>"I'm working on it. We're already sharing a bed."
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>"Awwww," Berry says as she puts a hoof on her heart.
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"Ditzy, could you not."
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>Ditzy leans against you while rubbing the center of your back.
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>"He's a little shy to admit it, as you can see."
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"You snatched a beer on the way out when I wasn't looking, didn't you?"
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>The mares have a round of cackling.
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>"I miss this," Berry says before raising her glass and taking a sip. “Tonight is gonna be a good night."
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"Damn straight."
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11/19
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>"So, what's the game plan? When should my date and I come by?" Berry asks.
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"Shit, I didn't even think about that. We gotta be back for you guys."
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>"Well, maybe we can catch an early showing of a movie then grab some lunch if we have the time?"
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"That doesn't sound like too bad of an idea actually. Won't be too many ponies crowding the place."
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>"So... what time should I drop by?"
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"Eh, seven-ish, pretty sure we'll be back before then, but just to be safe."
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>"It's barely noon, a lunch date, and a movie takes at the latest three and a half hours."
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"What are you getting at Berry?"
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>"Why the extra alone time?"
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>Maybe it’s you, but you swear every mare has that same wry smirk.
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"Chilling most likely."
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>Ditzy flutters behind you and wraps her forelegs around neck nuzzles her face against yours.
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>"Psst, Berry, 'chilling' is code for a snuggling session."
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"God damn it Ditzy."
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---
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>You have to admit, you should go to movies around this time more often.
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>Only a handful of ponies are in the theater.
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>Ditzy took the liberty of picking the movie.
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>'Dating Chaos' is the title.
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>You weren't really all that hyped about it until they established the premise.
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>About some stallion trying to put up with Eris as his neighbor.
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>Hilarity ensues.
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>What's kinda crazy though is that Eris is -actually- in the movie, playing as herself.
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>You got to give credit where credit is due, that's pretty cool.
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"I can't believe they actually got Eris," you whisper to Ditzy.
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>"Mhm, she's actually pretty down to Earth. Funny too, you'd like her."
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"What? You've met her?"
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12/19
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>"I deliver mail in some of the strangest places in Equestria, you'd be surprised who I've met in all the years I've been working just as a mail mare."
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>"SHHHHH!" some pony says who's in a row just in front of yours.
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>It took all your strength to hold your tongue because the fucker was about to get an earful.
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>Ditzy rubs a hoof on your lap did help calm you down though.
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>"Popcorn?" Ditzy offers while chewing on a mouthful.
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"I'll pass, trying to save room for lunch."
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>"SHHHH!"
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>You glare at the pony that's getting under your skin.
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"Stop listening so hard you Nazi."
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>The stallion looks back at you.
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>"We gonna have a problem?"
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"If you keep shushing us, yeah, it's not like we're shouting. Now eighty-six that shushing shit."
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>He turns back around mumbling under his breath while Ditzy mouths 'sorry'.
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>You shrug it off then go back to watching the movie.
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>Your eyes glued to the screen while you lean back and relax, and admire the fact you're having a good time.
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>For a moment, it's like you forgot why you're supposed to reject going out with ponies.
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>And for the time being, your buzzed mind is simply saying, "It's fucking Friday, get off your high horse for a day and have fun, God damn."
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>That's exactly what you plan to do.
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>About an hour into the movie, there was some cheesy, sappy scene that made you roll your eyes.
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>Sure it’s sweet and all, but ugh, if you fast forward this, it'd be great.
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>Ditzy's hoof started to rub on your thigh, to catch your attention you assume.
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"Yeah?" you whisper to her.
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>"You sure you don't want any popcorn?"
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"I'm sure. Thanks."
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>"Mkay."
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>She continues to rub your right thigh absent-mindedly as the scene goes on.
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>You tug at your collar as the scene was starting to get a bit lewd.
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>One moan from Eris caught your boner's attention.
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>As it started to get stiff, Ditzy happens to rub her hoof a bit too close.
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>She turns her head to look at you, and a trouble-making grin emerged on her face.
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>SHIT
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---
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13/19
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>"Ditz, what the hell was that earlier?"
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>You don't answer right away since the waitress was trotting by to give you your orders.
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>A stack of pancakes and an apple-cranberry salad lands on the table, you had to roll your eyes while you chuckle under your breath.
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>Of course Anon would order pancakes.
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>"Alrighty, anything else I can for you two love birds?"
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>"This town, I swear to God," he mumbles.
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"No, this will be all, thanks."
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>She nods then trots off.
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>Once she was far enough away, Anon shifts his attention to you.
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>"Ditzy, we need to have a talk."
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"Sure, what about?"
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>"About boundaries."
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"Mhm?"
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>"Why were you rubbing my lap in the movies?"
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"Ooh, that wasn't intentional."
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>"Really now?"
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"Mhm, was trying to get your attention so I can whisper in your ear if you wanted to come here afterward."
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>Anon leans in, his eyes narrowed and locked onto your face.
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>"Was that really it?"
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"Yup, promise."
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>"Oh, cool. I guess that's why you asked me after the movie, but did you need to whisper?"
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"That pony in front of us was--"
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>He puts his hand up to stop you.
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>"That guy was too liberal with the shushing, not to mention old, that might've made his day for all we know."
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>You crack a smile.
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"Why does that make so much sense?"
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>"Old folks love being miserable."
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"Hahaha, you think so?"
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>"Definitely, now as I was saying about boundaries..."
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"Right, anything else?"
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>"... There's really no chance you're gonna let go of the pants hanging thing is there?"
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"Nope, but enjoy the break while you can. You've got the weekend to look forward to."
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>"Oh right, you mean the getting up extra early to help Applejack tomorrow?"
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"You're eating pancakes and got to see a movie featuring Eris, my treat."
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>He bites his lip and then nods humbly.
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>"Fair trade-off now that I think about it. Hell, I'm still mind-blown about Eris actual being in a film. Really gotta meet her one day."
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"She's taken."
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14/19
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>"Whoa, easy there, Ditz," he replies, putting his hands up.
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>If it weren't for Anon's reaction, you would've never guessed your eyebrows were furrowed.
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>You put a hoof on your chest and swallow while looking down at your salad.
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"Sorry, got a bit ummm..."
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>"Ditzy? You alright?"
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"Yeah, sorry. It's just I'm finally getting to know you, spending time and all y'know?"
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>"And you don't want to risk losing me, I get it."
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"That. Yes. It's not easy approaching you with mares like Lyra who flirt with all the time."
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>"Mares like Lyra? She's just... fuck how do I put this," he shifts his eyes to the ceiling, thinking of a word.
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>"Parched."
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"Oh... Oooooh."
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>"Yeah know what I mean?"
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"Just horny?"
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>"Most of them are. Personally, if you ask me, the mares here are way too casual about their intentions and no one calls them out on it."
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"You always seem to be fine with it though.”
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>”That’s because it’s way too much fun turning down Lyra and the others and it’s a nice boost of confidence, sure.”
-
“So, what do you think about me?”
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>”You have a more radical way of catching my attention, up there with Fluttershy, that’s for sure.”
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>You feel your cheeks burn.
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“How else was I supposed to get your attention? Remember the other day when I talked to you in here? You barely acknowledged me; you just kept eating your pancakes, said I was ‘doing a fine job’.”
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>”Ditzy, I was eating these godly pancakes at the time, you could rob me and I would still tell you the same thing. It’s all in the timing.”
-
>You chuckle at the thought.
-
“And what about now?”
-
>”You have my attention.”
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15/19
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>You lean back in your chair, sighing in relief while looking up to the ceiling.
-
>An ear-to-ear smile on your face, you look toward the counter to make eye contact with the waitress that gave you the advice.
-
“Thank you,” you whisper to her.
-
>She gives you a wink and goes on about her work.
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>You turn back to Anon who’s now digging into his pancakes.
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”So, Anon, tell me about what’s happening tonight.”
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>”Hmm? Oh yeah yeah. Congrats, you're doing a fine job.”
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“Anooon.”
-
>You give him a gentle kick under the table.
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>He looks up at you, putting on a smirk.
-
“Not funny!”
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>”Couldn’t help myself. So anyway about tonight...”
-
---
-
15.5/19
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[spoiler] fucking character limit[/spoiler]
-
-
“Just no rowdy shit, alright?”
-
>Dash’s wide eye stare signals that she didn’t comprehend anything.
-
>Soarin on the other hand just shrugs and takes a swig from his beer.
-
>”And WHY can’t we be rowdy? I thought that was the whole point of this.”
-
“Dash, look. I’m all for getting wild and weird on the weekends, but not this time around. We’re doing Berry a favor.”
-
>”Ugh, great. I don’t think I’ll have any money for bail this time.”
-
“Hoh, no. Nothing like that, I was actually glad it was nothing illegal this time.”
-
“So, get this. Berry’s bringing a date here tonight.”
-
>”Ugh, okay?”
-
“And she wants to make a good impression.”
-
>”What? Are you kidding me? Do you remember the crap she pulled when I brought Vanilla Swirl here when I was dating him?”
-
>You shrug your shoulders.
-
“Well, Dash, in her defense, what kind of name is Vanilla Swirl for a stallion? Soarin, you wanna weigh in here?”
-
>”Dash, the fella was pretty effeminate.”
-
>Dash scoffs, “he was not! He was just raised differently!”
-
“Okay Dash, I’ll give you a chance to present your case, so what happened to him?”
-
>”We broke up some time ago,” Dash replies avoiding eye contact.
-
“Because?”
-
>”Turns out he was…”
-
>Dash falls silent, shaking her head while she glares down at the counter.
-
>”I need a drink.”
-
“I got just the thing for you.”
-
16/19
-
-
-
>You grab a tall glass and scoop some ice in it and place it on the bar.
-
>Turning around, you grab a bottle of Gin, and some Coconut flavored white rum that’s a decent alternative to Malibu Rum.
-
>Sometimes, ya gotta work with what you got.
-
>You place them on the counter and turn back around to get a bottle of sweetened lime juice and a shot glass.
-
>Using the shot glass, you pour an ounce of each into the tall glass with ice.
-
>You walk to the mini-fridge to get some club soda then pour four ounces of it into the glass.
-
>After that you slide it over to Dash.
-
>”What is this?”
-
“Thank me later.”
-
>As you put the bottles of liquor back on the shelf, you hear some hooves come down the stairs.
-
>”Hey Anon, somepony’s at the door,” Ditzy says.
-
“Alright, I’ll be right there.”
-
>You walk around and from behind the bar and head for the stairs.
-
>Ditzy follows you up the stairs, giggling to herself.
-
>She’s probably checking you out, but whatever, you’ve got company.
-
>You make it to the front door and answer it, and your eyes behold the rowdiest pony in your group of drinking buddies.
-
>You thought Berry Punch was bad, but you would’ve never guessed-
-
“Don’t you have papers to grade?”
-
>”Finished that a couple of hours ago. Lemme in.”
-
>You step aside.
-
“Come on in, don’t break anything.”
-
17/19
-
-
>”What do you mean tone down the rowdiness? This is a joke right?”
-
“Cheerilee-“
-
>”Thank you! Somepony agrees with me, why should we have to ‘behave’ for Berry’s date?”
-
>You have a sip of your beer and calm down for a moment.
-
>God, why do mares have to be so hard-headed?
-
“Because, Berry’s date is her boss.”
-
>”Poor bastard,” Cheerilee says, shaking her head before having a sip of her Crooked Golf Cart.
-
“That’s what I said. Again, she’s the last person that wants to tone down our usual fun, but let’s keep it tamed alright? This is arguably the most legal favor Berry will ever ask.”
-
>”I guess, but if he’s effeminate-“
-
>“Dash, let that go alright? There was enough low-hanging fruit to feed a village for a month when you brought him here.”
-
>You chuckle and give Soarin a fist bump.
-
“Couldn’t have said it better myself.”
-
>A series of bumps and thuds tumble down the stairs.
-
>”Ow, I’m okay.”
-
“Ah, hey Ditzy.”
-
>She trots up to a barstool.
-
“What do you think you’re doing?”
-
>Before she could take her seat she shifts her wandering eye to the left and right briefly.
-
>”Having a seat? So I can-“
-
“Nope, you’re joining me. It’s time you learn a little bit about bartending.”
-
>Rainbow Dash cracks up, slapping a hoof on the bar.
-
>”Derpy? A bartender? C'mon Anon, the joke writes itself!”
-
18/19
-
-
>You can see the look on Ditzy’s face that screams, ‘I don’t want to be here.’
-
>But of course, since it’s your place, and since Dash is pulling her Top Cunt card early, you’ve got a means of giving her a dose of humility.
-
>Plus, that was over the line. It irks you when folks fling doubts at others who try to improve themselves.
-
“Hey Dash, what did you think about that drink I served you?”
-
>She controls her laughing to answer the question.
-
>”Actually, Anon, this is pretty awesome. What’s the name of it?”
-
“Well, the name of it reminded me a lot of your love life, Rainbow Dash: A Lost Cause.”
-
>Dash jaw drops, Soarin and Cheerilee lean against each other while they cackle.
-
>”Ouch, add one more body to the body toll,” Cheerilee she manages to say between her fits of laughing.
-
>Even Ditzy had a giggle.
-
>”Did you literally just serve Rainbow Dash an insult?” Ditzy asks.
-
“She had it coming. Now get back here,” you nod your head to the left to where she can get behind the bar.
-
>She steps down from the barstool and trots around as you make eye contact with Rainbow Dash.
-
“Dash.”
-
>”What?” She asks through her teeth, doing her best to give you the evil eye.
-
>Ha, she’s making the exact same face Rarity made when you got her to pay for wine at lunch the other day.
-
“Don’t let me catch you insulting my bar-back again.”
-
>”I’m proud of you Anon,” Cheerilee says. “Defending your mare is always admirable! So what’s going on? You two a couple yet?”
-
>Ditzy opens her mouth to answer, but you raise your hand just in time.
-
“Don’t answer that.”
-
>”Mmm, taking charge like that is pretty hot, Anon.”
-
>Cheerilee sips her drink with a trademark grin.
-
“This fucking town, I swear to God.”
-
19/19
-
-
End of part 3
by Jchallo8
by Jchallo8
by Jchallo8
by Jchallo8
by Jchallo8