Pants in the Relationship pt. 4


                                            >God you love Friday nights.

                                            >You take a gander at the company that you have in your makeshift bar in your basement.

                                            >Cheerilee rants on about how shitty some of the fillies are in her class as usual.

                                            >Dash and Soarin play a few rounds of 21 at the round poker table, soon enough it'll be a crowd.

                                            >And chances are some of these ponies won't be happy about losing a few bits.

                                            >Checking your watch on the wall to your left, you take note that Berry could be here any minute with her date.

                                            >You tune back into the rant Cheerilee was unleashing.

                                            >"She's such a little shit. Do you know how many bits I have saved up to give the Cutie Mark Crusaders on the day they finally jump that pink snot nose over-bloated ego of a filly? I would honestly look the other way and slap an A on whatever test they take next."

                                            >You had to laugh as you make Cheerilee her last drink for tonight.

                                            "Yeah, gonna have to cut you off after this one. The Schoolboard would panic if they heard you saying shit like that."

                                            >She slams a hoof on the table, causing Ditzy to jump, making a squeak.

                                            >"Keep em' comin' damn it. I'm tryin' to cut loose here!"

                                            >You shake your head as you slide the drink she ordered to her then turn to Ditzy.

                                            "Alright, Ditz, you remember where these bottles go?" You ask, gesturing to the bottles you just used.

                                            >She nods, "mhm!"

                                            "Good, protect those bottles with your life. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to see if Berry is here yet."

                                            >"Okay!"

                                            >You ruffle her mane.

                                            "Hold down the fort while I'm gone. If anyone orders a mojito, tell them to shove it."

                                            >"Yes sir!" She says, giving a salute.

                                            >You walk from behind the bar and start walking up the stair, but you listen hard for any glass shattering.

                                            >"Hey, new barkeep, can I get a beer?" Soarin asks.

                                            >"Coming right up!" Ditzy shoots back.

                                            >You make a humble nod as you keep climbing the stairs.


                                            >As you walk into the living room, a glimpse of pink catches the corner of your eye.

                                            >You turn your head toward the dining area before you can muster up a response; your feet were already heading to the area.

                                            >"Hey there old roomie!" Pinkie waves frantically for you to come over.

                                            >You roll your eyes from the nickname.

                                            >A couple of years ago, Pinkie and the Cakes had a bit of fallout, and Pinkie crashed on your couch for a week.

                                            >That was the most chaotic week you've experienced in your life.

                                            >As a result, you tossed her a copy of your keys only for her to keep.

                                            >You've never minded her popping in unannounced since she has the uncanny timing of knowing when and when not to drop by.

                                            >There were times she'd drop off some groceries or even some cupcakes that were left over after closing.

                                            >Pinkie and the Cakes are on good terms again.


                                            "Hey Pinkie, did you just get off?"

                                            >You have a seat across from her as she takes a bite out of her veggie sandwich.

                                            >After she chews a couple of times and swallows, she licks the corners of her mouth.

                                            >"Mhm! Got the whole weekend off too! What about you? Doing anything this weekend?"

                                            >You groan under your breath from recalling the deal you made with The Ditzy.

                                            "No, I got this thing to do at Applejack's. Tomorrow morning."

                                            >"Haha, I get to sleep in~"

                                            "I hate you."

                                            >Pinkie giggles to herself, "Hey, at least you have someone to snuggle with."

                                            >You put your hand up, to stop her from going any further.

                                            "If that's a segue to make a jab at me and Ditzy, I won't have it."

                                            >Pinkie averts her eyes, putting on an innocent face, but failing to hide her grin.

                                            "You're the worst."

                                            >A knock at the door, reminded you of Berry's request.

                                            "Oh, by the way, Pinkie, Berry's bringing a date, she'd like it if we can keep things tamed this evening."

                                            >A frown shows up on Pinkie's face.

                                            "Hey, don't gimme that, for once, Berry is acting responsibly. Give her some credit."

                                            >Pinkie shrugs.

                                            >"Okay Nonners."

                                            >You get up from your chair and head for the door.

                                            >Open the door, and as you expected. Berry Punch and her date.

                                            >The stallion earth pony standing beside her had a light brown coat, black mane.

                                            >"Hey Anon, meet Dustbowl."

                                            ---


                                            "Hold the phone," you say, passing a just-opened beer over to Dustbowl. "Berry does what now? Look over apartment applications and such?"

                                            >"Yes."

                                            >"At a desk?" Cheerilee adds.

                                            >"Where she does customer service and is nice about it?" Dash asks, grinning at the poker table in her green poker visor as she dishes out cards.

                                            >"I wouldn't expect her to do otherwise," Dustbowl replies, taking a moment to nurse his drink at the bar.

                                            >In the span of him savoring his drink the whole room had a conversation about how oblivious Dustbowl is about good ol' Berry Punch.

                                            >Berry Punch met eyes with you for a moment to convey to knock off the barrage of questions.

                                            >"What got you two a-talkin'?" Cheerilee asks, "Was it her thick flank?"

                                            >Immediately Dustbowl clears his throat to prevent the drink from going down the wrong pipe.

                                            >"Excuse me?"

                                            "She's asking if it was her looks that caught your attention."

                                            >"Yes, of course, I can tell she's well kept, her coat and mane were always shining when she came into work."

                                            >Dash's lips were quivering at the poker table, almost failing to hold in her laugh.

                                            >You can see on her face Berry was quick to change the subject.

                                            >"So Anon, what's going on with you nowadays? Grab any odd jobs lately?"

                                            >Being the kind person that you are, you figured Berry has been in the hole long enough.

                                            "Actually yeah, a new mare from manehatten wants me to do some repairs at an apartment she's looking at."

                                            >Dustbowl's ears twitch a little, tuning into the conversation.

                                            >"Pardon me, but her name wouldn't happen to be Coco Pummel would it?"

                                            "You know her?"

                                            >"She's our potential tenant, yes."

                                            "Oh, small world."

                                            >"So what do you think? The repairs doable?"

                                            "I've seen worst, honestly."

                                            >Both Berry and Dustbowl sigh in relief.

                                            >"Oh thank you so much, our maintenance team swore off working in that apartment."

                                            "Believe me, I can't blame em. Although some wiring and carpet cleaning will make it habitable."

                                            >"Of course."

                                            "Also, get a new fridge for the place."

                                            >"What's wrong with it? That's a recent model"

                                            >Both you and Ditz share a look, then you turn back to Dustbowl.

                                            "Trust me on this. What lies dormant in that fridge warrants it."

                                            >"'What lies dormant', being a bit dramatic Anon?" Cheerilee says.

                                            >"No he's telling the truth, I saw what it was, some huge bug about the size of Anon's head," Ditz says, backing you up.

                                            >"I'm just saying you make it sound like some Lovecraftian horror," Cheerilee replies.

                                            "Hold up, how do you know that name?"

                                            >"Oh some author from the older times."

                                            >Your eyes dart back in forth, fascinated by how your world intertwines with this one.

                                            >"You okay Anon?"

                                            "Yeah, I'm just making a mental note to ask Twilight some questions. Anyway, when you throw the fridge out, make sure it's locked down."

                                            >"Of course."

                                            "I'm talking chains and padlocks, and throw it in a pit and set it on fire. Please."

                                            >"I'll keep that in mind, when are you planning on doing the cleaning?"

                                            "I'll get started on it Monday, should take a couple of days."

                                            >"Works for us, if you need to use any equipment just drop by the office."

                                            >You nod, happy you won't be shilling bits out for equipment at the hardware store.


                                            "Sounds like a plan."

                                            >"Hey Anon when are you gonna join us for a game?" Dash asks.

                                            "Ah, I've been meaning to take y'alls money. But I'm still training my bar-back."

                                            >"Pff, bartending can't be THAT hard," Dash says, studying her hand.

                                            >Upon hearing the sentence your old life flashes before your eyes reminded of the few bartending gigs you worked.

                                            >The horror.

                                            >And the fun.

                                            >Countless numbers are thrown at you almost as many ridiculous requests that gave you a headache.

                                            "You'd be surprised Dash," you reply, suppressing residual anger swelling up from those jobs.

                                            >"It's okay Anon, I think I can handle it, besides if I don't how to make it, I'll just ask you."

                                            "Well, since Dash is so eager to lose her money..."


                                            ---


                                            >Not even thirty minutes later, the poker table is demoralized from the number of bits stacking on your side of the table.

                                            >Soarin started preemptively folding.

                                            >Dash's cloud of frustration is brewing into a storm above her head.

                                            >Cheerilee and Ditzy chat at the bar, and Dustbowl and Berry Punch enjoy chatting amongst each other.

                                            >Pinkie came down to join the fun and waits for her drink.

                                            >"Hey Anon Pinkie wants a 'Brave Bull', what's that?"

                                            >You cut your eye over to the bar, and catch Pinkie Pie looking back at you.

                                            "Now, what are you doing ordering that at this time of night?"

                                            >"It's a nightcap for me."

                                            "Mhm, sure." you make eye contact with Ditzy. "Short glass, two parts tequila, and one part coffee liqueur. You'll find the coffee liqueur in the far back."

                                            >Pinkie goes to open her mouth and you continue.

                                            "Drop a sugar cube in it with a drop of cream, give it a stir, it's how Pinkie likes it."

                                            >Ditzy gets to work as Pinkie beams at you, giving a thankful nod.

                                            >You shift your focus back to the poker table.

                                            "I've one question for you guys."

                                            >Dash tosses a few bits in, Soarin cautiously tosses one.

                                            >"What's that Anon?"

                                            "What do you call it when Celestia finishes using the toilet?"

                                            >"What?"

                                            "ROYAL FLUSH, read 'em and weep!"

                                            >You slam down the hand, Dash groans, Soarin throws his head back and Pinkie cackles from your pun.

                                            >"Fuck you Anon, how are you always getting the good hands?"

                                            >You shrug as you rack in the pile of bits.

                                            "I'm just hot tonight, that's all."

                                            >Dash lets her head hit the table.

                                            >Soarin gets up from the table and walks over to the bar.

                                            >"Ditzy, hit me with a beer, I need to numb the pain."

                                            >Dash raises her head from coming into the second wind of stubbornness.

                                            >"Deal," she says flatly, a hint of inebriation. "Double or nothin'."

                                            >Dash's eyes furrowed, maintaining eye contact with you as she tapped a hoof on the table.

                                            "What's this? Thought I stomped out your hope last round."

                                            >"Give it up, Dash." Cheerilee says. "You know Anon will never turn down free money."

                                            "Damn skippy, now quiet Cheer, it's not like Dash will miss the bits."

                                            >She really won't since she's with the Wonderbolts now.

                                            >"Anonymous Redacted Unknown I will not let you take advantage of a drunk mare like that," Cheerilee insisted, adopting her authoritative teacher voice.

                                            >There's no winning when Cheerilee goes teacher mode.

                                            >You take a deep breath, it's best to quit while you're ahead.

                                            >Thanks to Dash and Soarin's losses, you've got your bills covered for the next month.

                                            "Very well, Cheerilee."

                                            >"What? You scared of the school teacher?" Dash asks, the smugness leaking through her smile.

                                            "Gee, sure got me there Dash," you say, collecting your pile of bits. "Excuse me for a moment while I put up my money."


                                            >Dash's eyes water, watching her money leave the table, and you head for your bedroom to put the bits in your hidden stash.

                                            >You pull out your bottom drawer, and pull out a coffee can-- you're savings account.

                                            >You do a count to make sure it's all there, and grin from adding tonight's earnings. And add it to your ledger next to the coffee can.

                                            >Feels good having a few months saved up. It's a great cushion should you fall short a month on odd jobs.

                                            >You walk downstairs, surprised to find Dustbowl heading for your front door without Berry.

                                            "Heading out? Without Berry?"

                                            >"I'm afraid I have matters to attend to tomorrow morning."

                                            "I know that life, thanks for stopping by, hope no one made you feel uncomfortable."

                                            >"Nonsense, I quite enjoyed myself, but had to cut tonight short."

                                            "We'll be kicking back again tomorrow, feel free to stop by if you have the time."

                                            >"I'll take you up on that, I need to get out more anyway."

                                            >He opens the door then steps outside.

                                            "Safe travels out there."

                                            >"See you tomorrow, my friend."

                                            >Soon as the door closes, you knew the tomfoolery that was about to unfold.

                                            >"ANON!" Pinkie shouts from the basement with her sound barrier-breaking voice.

                                            "Yeah?!" You shout from your living room as you walk downstairs.

                                            >"BAR NEEDS LIMES AND SALT FROM THE KITCHEN!"

                                            >You smirk.

                                            "Coming up!"


                                            >7 naked shot glasses, filled with tequila, dressed with lime juice and salt on the rim, neighbored by a plate of lime wedges.

                                            >6 ponies gathered at the bar, preparing for your toast.

                                            >Smiles on everyone's faces as you raise your glass.

                                            "Berry, you've surprised me this evening, and just want to go on the record to say-"

                                            >"Smartass remark is imminent, everyp0ny brace yourselves," Berry says as she places her hoofs on the bar, holding tight.

                                            "I was going to say that today is the most civil I've ever seen you, you really like this guy."

                                            >"Wait... that comment didn't sting."

                                            "Yeah, I'm actually shocked that I'm proud of you."

                                            >"And there it is."

                                            "Anyway, not to make a mountain out of a moment, but here's hoping something long-term happens between you two."

                                            >Everyone but you take a moment to lick the rim of the glass, take their shot of tequila, then bite on the lime.

                                            >Somehow, it became a tradition in your group of friends that you had to be the last one to take the shot if you make the toast.

                                            >Once everyone took some time getting it down, Berry opens her big mouth.

                                            >"Actually..." she starts while you take your shot.

                                            >You bit on the lime, and you take a second since you don't usually down tequila often. It's an acquired taste.

                                            >"I'm only dating him to get a promotion," she says with a smirk.

                                            >You lean on the bar as you process the shot, you only had one thing to say.

                                            "Whore."

                                            >Berry cracks up and playfully punches your forearm, "there's the Anon I know! No, but really, he's a great guy."

                                            >"What the heck does he see in you?" Dash asks.

                                            "Dash. Are you asking that question out of spite from what Berry-"

                                            >"YES. Why does she get all the-"

                                            "Gonna stop you right there, Dash."

                                            >Dash rolls her eyes, "Oh what? Are you going to say that I have no room to criticize?"

                                            "Surprisingly self-aware of you, but yeah."

                                            >You turn to your left toward Ditzy.

                                            "Can you fix Dash another Lost Cause?"

                                            >"Ugh, very funny Anon."


                                            "It's not a knock on you. I just wanna make sure you're liquored up before I say this. And you seem to like the drink."

                                            >"Uh, thanks?"

                                            "What I'm about to say is medicine and I'm not trying to be terrible to you. Everyone here would agree."

                                            >Soarin just leans his head back laughing, knowing perfectly well what you're about to say.

                                            >"Anon you're a braver fella than I thought."

                                            >Ditzy presents the drink to Dash.

                                            >"Hey Anon, I'm getting more paper towels, be right back."

                                            "Sounds good, Ditz."

                                            >Ditzy flutters upstairs and you focus your attention back on Dash and point to the drink in front of her.

                                            "Get a good swig of that. Trust me."

                                            >She furrows her eyebrows. "Fine."

                                            >The way Dash sucked down the drink through the straw convinced you she really shouldn't be having relationship problems.

                                            >"Alright, hit me."

                                            "Dash. You. As a marefriend..."

                                            >"Yeah?"

                                            "You're the biggest cunt."

                                            >Her jaw drops as Soarin's eyes cut back and forth between you and Dash.

                                            >"What? Anon you're exaggerating."

                                            >"No dear, Anon's telling the truth," Cheerilee says, wrapping a forearm around her for a quick comforting hug.

                                            "You're very adamant about trying to wear the pants in the relationship. And it's only turning stallions away from you."

                                            >"It's why Vanilla Swirl, Anon, and I went on that trip to Manehatten," Soaring chimes in.

                                            >"Wait, the Dude's trip a couple of months ago? I thought y'all were going to a concert."

                                            "Yeah, and he couldn't shut up about he's met BDSM Doms who have more chill than you."

                                            >"Hmm, maybe Dash should be a dom," Cheerilee replies, tapping a hoof on her chin.

                                            "Cheerilee why are you like this? No. Dash, do not listen to this vixen. How are you a schoolteacher?"

                                            >"Anon she might as well lean into it," Cheerilee replies, shrugging her shoulders.

                                            "Is it true you made Vanilla Swirl cry when you made him order AND eat broccoli--which he's allergic to--on your first date?"

                                            >The whole crowd went silent, the leers from Berry Punch and Cheerilee did all the work you needed to be done.

                                            >You turn to Cheerilee.

                                            "Still think she should be a Dom?"

                                            >"My stars, no! You have to cater to your bottom's needs."

                                            >"What did I just trot into?" Ditzy asks, leaning her head to the side while she carries two rolls of paper towels.

                                            "Oh, nothing, just Dash's failed career as a dominatrix."

                                            >Dash takes another hefty swig of her drink.

                                            >"I thought he was joking. Like who's allergic to broccoli? Like actually allergic to broccoli?"

                                            "He isn't the only example."

                                            >"What do you mean Anon? I haven't dated anyone else besides you that one time."

                                            >"You dated Anon?" Ditzy asks, her tone a little more pushy than inquisitive.

                                            >You put up your hands to calm the implication and turn to Ditzy.

                                            "As a favor, Dash needed a plus one to this Gala. I barely just met her and she was insufferably bossy."

                                            >"I had to be. I'm an Element of Harmony and had to make a good impression."

                                            >"Oh, how'd that work out?"

                                            >"Anonymous ended up on the papers for half a month," Berry Punch says with a knowing giggle she can't tame.

                                            >She had to wipe a tear from her eye.

                                            >Ditzy approaches the bar. "What? What did Anon do?" Ditzy asks.

                                            >"Were you living under a rock Ditzy?" Soarin asks.

                                            >Cheerilee had to chuckle, "Anon put a saddle onto Celestia and slapped her flank to make her kick cake on guests."

                                            "Made bank that day too."

                                            >"But you're also not allowed in Canterlot right?" Berry Punch asked.

                                            "Only because Celestia got aroused and wants to keep temptation at bay."

                                            >"What's scary is you're probably right. Too many Celestia stories out there," Soarin says, signaling to Ditzy for a beer.

                                            >"Ditzy, soon as I read the paper, I had to find Anon," Berry Punch says, "I knew we'd get along."

                                            "But not to get off the subject. The main thing is, Dash puts the Top in Top Cunt."

                                            >"Maybe let the stallions do the leading, hmm Dash?" Cheerilee says, giving another comforting one-armed hug.


                                            >"Am I really that bad?" Dash hangs her head, only two sips left of her drink.

                                            "Yes Dash, I did that stunt out of spite. I didn't expect the night to be fun, but to be literal hell because you kept micromanaging? Celestia got lucky."

                                            >"Do you always saddle mares when you're mad?" Berry Punch asks, grinning.

                                            >"Hmm, on second thought maybe Anon should be a Dom," Cheerilee remarks.

                                            "What's with you mares? Is Estrus all year 'round or some shit?"

                                            ---


                                            >You look at the clock and dreading having such a good time talking shit with your friends.

                                            >Calling it a night at one-thirty is awfully early for you guys, but you gotta uphold the deal between you and Ditzy.

                                            >You're grabbing some nightwear before you head into the bathroom to shower.

                                            >The steam is starting to fog the mirrors as the water runs.

                                            >"Tick Tock, Anon~"

                                            "Any chance we can wiggle that back to seven-thirty?"

                                            >"Can I shower with you?"

                                            "Bold question, but no."

                                            >"Then no," she says, her head on the pillow, some of her mane in her face.

                                            >The light from the bathroom shines on her face in an otherwise dark room.

                                            >"Hurry back now~"

                                            >You nod and head off into the shower.

                                            >The shower's warmth was comforting, but it's a shame you can't take a prolonged comfortable shower.

                                            >Once you got out and dried off, you walk back into your bedroom to find Ditzy reading a book on your nightstand.

                                            "I hope you didn't lose my place."

                                            >"Oh not at all, you don't have any Daring Do books?"

                                            "Seen the movies already."

                                            >"She made movies?"

                                            >You laugh to yourself, realizing what you meant to say.

                                            "I mean, I've seen movies back on Earth that are very similar."

                                            >"Oooh, I would've been upset, there's no way she wouldn't tell me."

                                            >You slide under the covers with a question forming in your head.

                                            "Wait, are you saying you know Daring Do?"

                                            >Ditzy cuddles up to you, making a tired nod, "the mail mare knows everyp0ny, Anon."

                                            >As you pull her into you, struggling to keep your heavy eyes open.

                                            "Ominous."

                                            >She smiles, her eyes focused on you as she falls asleep.

                                            >"Mhmm."

                                            >Her forelegs wrap around your torso.

                                            "Goodnight, Ditzy."

                                            --


                                            >"What the hay? Are my eyes decievin' me?" Applejack asks, leaning on the fence at the entrance of the farm while she looks at the sunrise.

                                            "Yeah, I'm here, although not willingly," you say, your eyes at mere slits, and using a hand to block the sunlight.

                                            >The walk to the ranch did wake you up a fair bit, but you're still able to perfectly feel the warmth of your bed.

                                            >Applejack looks to Ditzy.

                                            >"How the heck did you pull that off? Also, did ya give up on that pants hangin' nonsense?"

                                            >"We made a deal, for now."

                                            >You picked up on Ditzy smirk.

                                            "Look, let's get this done, I gotta get some sleep," you say as you lean on the fence for a bit.

                                            >"Don't you worry, Granny Smith has a pot of coffee with ya name on it."

                                            >Applejack chuckles again," 'can't expect me to be outta bed before noon', guess you need the right mare for the motivation hmm?"

                                            "Funny."

                                            >"Not much of a talker in the mornings are ya?" she makes a nod toward the house, "don't be shy now, go ahead and say hello to the family."

                                            >Despite your sleepy demeanor, you manage to smile a little, realizing it's been a while since you've seen Granny Smith and Applebloom.

                                            >"Ah'll catch up with y'all innabit, just doing a little sun gazing, before Ah start the day."


                                            >Granny Smith and Applebloom were already up like weird-ass early-birds tending to the kitchen.

                                            >A welcoming apple cinnamon aroma was very apparent the closer you got to the front door.

                                            >You notice Granny's ears perk up when the screen door squeaked.

                                            >"Well Applebloom Ah guess me and Applejack owe ya some bits." Granny nods a hello, "Good morning Anon, great to see ya."

                                            >"Anon's here?!" Applebloom shouts from the living room and before long, a pitter-patter of hooves followed.

                                            >Before you can make two steps into the kitchen Applebloom was already greeting you by hugging your leg.

                                            >You stoop down to give her a well-deserved head pat.

                                            >"Ah see ya brought some company today," Granny says. "This the troublemaker Applejack been blabbering about huh?"

                                            >You're not even remotely surprised that Applejack would mention Ditzy.

                                            "Something like that," you say. "Granny, can I bother for a cup of coffee?"

                                            >"Cup o joe coming up, you two have a seat and get comfy. Applebloom check on the apple fritters, it don't take long to fry em."

                                            >Applebloom looks up to you, "Anon we gotta catch up alright? You're always busy."

                                            "Hey hey don't you frown, I'll be around for a good while today."

                                            >"Ah'll hold ya to that Anon," she says before speeding off into the kitchen.


                                            >Granny and Applebloom come to the dining table with a plate of warm bear claws and apple fritters as you made small talk with Ditzy.

                                            >You were on your second cup of coffee, you gradually waking up, Ditzy is taking notice of how more talkative you're being with her.

                                            >Granny Smith pulls up a chair while you reach for a bear claw.

                                            >"Anon, Ah know you've just about had it with everyp0ny in town talkin about ya."

                                            "What have you heard?"

                                            >"Today? Too much."

                                            "What? It's not even eight in the morning yet. Berry Punch must be paid to blabber that much."

                                            >She has a giggle, "ever the insightful one aren't ye?"

                                            >Even though Granny Smith made her little jab, she took mercy on you today.

                                            >For about fifteen minutes, you were catching up with her and Applebloom.

                                            >It's one of the more pleasant mornings you've had in recent memory.

                                            >Ditzy told a story about how delivering a package one time caused her to meet Photo Finish.

                                            >Before long, Applejack finally shows herself, ready to work.

                                            >The screen door bangs open, heads for the dining room.

                                            >"Welp Anon, it's about that time."

                                            >You look over to a wall clock to see 8:30 am staring back at you.

                                            "I'm right behind you."

                                            >Applejack nods and heads back outside as you get up from the table.

                                            "I'll see you ladies in a couple of hours, hope Ditzy won't be too much trouble."

                                            >"Oh she'll be alright, just watch out for Ol' Slide out there at that old barn, he's a mean one."

                                            "Uh, sure."


                                            --


                                            "Who is 'Ol' Slide' by the way?" you ask Applejack as you approach the old barn that's been beaten up by countless storms.

                                            >Applejack turns back to you, laughing to herself from whatever inside joke she knows about.

                                            >"Relax, Ol' Slide ain't nothing to worry about. Now grab those gloves from over there and that sledgehammer, we need to break this door down."

                                            "On it."


                                            >You coughed up a lung from all the dust that fogged the barn when you broke in, the sunlight breaks into the barn as you stand over the door you knocked in.

                                            >Looking around, you see an old cradle, some old dresser with a shattered mirror, some rusted old wagon spoke wheels.

                                            >There was a hint of moss on the wooden boards of the barn, chipped red paint littered the grey sand at where the boards and ground meet.

                                            >Along the walls were what you assume were family portraits, the only thing left of the paintings were faded out. The wooden frames warped, cracked.

                                            >There was an old four-legged bathtub, rusted as well, the drain corroded.

                                            >Hammers, nails and an old hand saw were found bundled in the tub with dirt and leaves.

                                            >An old red kerosene canister was found on a workbench.

                                            >You can only whistle.

                                            "What era did we step into here?" You say as you lean the sledgehammer against the doorframe.

                                            >Applejack trots in, taking a gander of the contents of the shed.

                                            >"My best guess is when Granny was little. But it's mostly junk in here now."

                                            "What are you going to do with the junk?"

                                            >"Big Mac has a flatbed that he'll pull all this stuff with, we just gotta move it outta here."

                                            >She checks her nonexistent watch on her wrist, "he should be here in a little bit."


                                            >When it comes to working with Applejack, there's an unspoken work system you have with her.

                                            >Because you two think so alike when tackling tasks, it's easier to get everything done.

                                            >For example, both of you knew to deal with the heavier stuff first so it'll get easier over time.

                                            >Along with that was a baseline protocol on lifting heavy stuff.

                                            >The whole time with the occasional grunting and gritting of teeth, you and Applejack carry on with a nonchalant conversation about baking recipes and being well-traveled.

                                            >Just as you roll out the spoked wheels, Big Mac shows up pulling the flatbed.

                                            >"Morning," Big Mac says with a nod.

                                            >Awfully chatty of him, he might be running off three pots of coffee.

                                            "Been a while, Big Mac."

                                            >"Yup."

                                            >You help load a few things on the flatbed before heading back into the shed.

                                            "Going to grab that portrait."

                                            >Applejack nods then turn to Big Mac to give him the game plan.

                                            >You walk to the back wall of the shed to pick up the portrait, and curiosity sparked.

                                            >A lot of paintings and portraits tend to have something written on the back.

                                            >Sadly, there was nothing that you could make out from most of them outside of a date and half a name.

                                            >Once all the items were loaded you had a clear image of a cold glass of water in your mind's eye.

                                            >But now comes the fun part, both you and Applejack had smiles growing on your faces.

                                            >Demolition time.

                                            >Nothing quite like breaking down a barn, it's good exercise and helps relieve some stress.

                                            >Applejack notices you rolling up your sleeves and winding your arms.

                                            >"Where you been hiding that muscle?" She asks, stretching her legs and practicing her buck kicks in the air.

                                            "Don't worry about that."


                                            >Twenty minutes later the old barn has collapsed into a pile of splintered red paint chipped wood.

                                            >You're helping gather the broken planks into a pile while Applejack relaxes under the shade of a tree.

                                            "Damn you're getting old Applejack, you taking a break already?"

                                            >"Course Ah am, been up since four this mornin' workin the farm. I ain't Super Mare."

                                            "Could've fooled me."

                                            >"Keep on talkin that mess now, and don't think Ah'll let that 'getting old' remark slide."

                                            >You're laughing as you walk back to the collapsed barn.

                                            >Picking up a plank revealed a trail of scales that are coiled up.

                                            "The fuck is this," you ask as start to notice the diamond shaped head sitting in the center.

                                            > Its mouth stretches open revealing the pink interior and sharp fangs reflecting the sunlight.

                                            "OH SHIT!"

                                            >You jump back as it launches you, the only thing you have to defend with is a plank you can use as a tool.

                                            >A skillful side dodge was barely enough since the snake homed in on your left thigh, fangs out.

                                            >Applejack hops on her hooves rushing over, by the time she got to you, you've already landed three bone-crushing blows to its head.

                                            >"Y'alright sugarcube?!"

                                            >She starting patting you down looking for bite marks, "he didn't git ya did he?"

                                            "I'm alright, I'm fine."

                                            >She shakes her head, "take the pants off, we gotta make sure."

                                            "You must be crazy if you thi-"

                                            >"Hustle now, c'mon! Ain't no time to argue with ya!"

                                            >As fast as you could you got your pants off, leaving you down to your boxes.

                                            >Applejack circles around, "you don't have any cuts on you anywhere do ya?" She asks, lightly smacking your thighs and calves.

                                            "Are you done oogling?"

                                            >She meets your eyes with hers, "Anon, if that venom gets on any open wound, no matter how small we would have to send you to the hospital."

                                            >Before you can retort she already has a hoof up, "and Ah ain't pervin' right now."

                                            "What do you mean 'right now'? Applejack, give me my pants back before someone gets the wrong idea."

                                            >She has a slight chuckle, as she hands you your pants back, "you realize that if Ah wanted ya, it ain't much you can do to stop me, right?"

                                            "That's a bit presumptuous."

                                            >You slip your pants on as Applejack takes a look at the snake that got the breaks beat off of it.

                                            >"Y'know, that reaction time you had there is mighty impressive. Maybe ya might not be the easiest target."

                                            "It should tell you something that Fluttershy gave up."

                                            >"Yet Ditzy is wearin' ya down."

                                            >Even though you're readjusting your pants and tightening your belt while facing away from Applejack, you can picture the smug look on her face.

                                            "No one can account for the Drunken Fist style, but she makes for fine company."

                                            >"Anooon!" Applebloom shouts from a hill while waving at you, "Ah made some lemonade for y'all, ice-cold and everythin'!"

                                            "Well Applejack, you done with your flirting?"

                                            >"All Ah said was you ain't the easiest target."

                                            "Damn right."

                                            >"But you're still an easy target."

                                            "How about we agree to disagree on that one."

                                            >"Sure," Applejack takes a moment to dust off her hat after finishing inspecting the dead snake.

                                            >"Well, congratulations Anon, ya killed Ol' Slide. Granny Smith'll be happy about that news."

                                            >You dust off your shoulders like it was nothing and join Applejack on the walk back to the house.

                                            "Ya damn skippy."

                                            >A beat of silence between you two as Applejack casts an unamusing glare as she walks beside you.

                                            >"Boy what Ah tell ya about talkin' like me?" She jabs your side as your laughing like a goofy idiot.

                                            >"Hurry up and git in this house. Ya keep givin' me reasons to smack you somethin' proper. Are you tryna get me heated Anon?"


                                            ---


                                            >You have forgotten about these moments after hard work. The winddown and cooling off.

                                            >A rewarding rest and a cool drink while you take in the scenery.

                                            >Apparently Ditzy got roped into helping out in the kitchen and you're both all too familiar and understanding how hard it is to get out of it.

                                            >One little 'grab that plate for me' turns into prepping another batch of treats turns to washing dishes turns to sweeping and mopping the floor.

                                            >And if you strain your ears just enough you can hear Applebloom giving Ditzy some instructions on making Apple pies.

                                            >You and Applejack sit on the porch legs dangling off the edge as you enjoy the shade provided by the awning.

                                            >"Applejack tells me ya gone and put Ol'Slide on permanent retirement,"Granny Smith starts cracking up as she rocks in her chair on the porch.

                                            "It caught me off guard. What else was I supposed to do."

                                            >Granny Smith has a laugh to herself.

                                            >"Gotta admit Ah ain't ever seen Anon move so fast."

                                            "So what's next after all that?"

                                            >"Actually Anon, your part is pretty much done, me and Big Mac can handle the hauling."

                                            "Oh? You have the time?"

                                            >"What do you think Granny? About noon or so?"

                                            >"That's what the Sun is tellin' me."

                                            >"Now Anon, you're welcome to stick around and get some extra bits in your pocket."

                                            >"Applejack you already know he's gonna take his money and run," Granny has an intoxicating cackle.

                                            >She gets down from her rocking chair, "lemme get your payment Anon so you can start your county break."

                                            >You nod and then lean closer to Applejack for a moment.

                                            "What's a county break?"

                                            >"Ya ever do work on a big project that could take days, but ya decide take a small break and the break ends up being the rest of the day?"

                                            "I can relate."

                                            >"That's a county break for ya."

                                            "And is Ol'Slide just a snake that's been here forever?"

                                            >She throws her head back laughing, "Nah silly, it's just a nickname we give snakes. Keep up, slowpoke."

                                            "I remember you saying Ol Slide was nothing to worry about."

                                            >"They are few and far between out here, it's why Ah was hectic when ya ran into one today. But ya handled yourself."


                                            "True, I'm just glad I recognized him in time."

                                            >"We're both fortunate you didn't get bit," Applejack replied with a nervous chuckle.

                                            >Ditzy joins you on the porch with a bag full of goodies on her wing and a smile on her face.

                                            "What have we here?"

                                            >"Apple muffins~"

                                            > Your brain recalls how perfect Ditzy's chocolate chip muffins were.

                                            >You turn straight to Applejack.

                                            "Granny needs to hurry up with my money," you say playfully.

                                            >"Careful Anon, there's always a slicker one out there."

                                            >She subtly uses her eyes to point to Ditzy. "And ya might get bit if you ain't careful."

                                            "Uh-huh."

                                            >"What are y'all doing after this?" Applejack raises her voice enough for Ditzy to hear.

                                            "It's the weekend, you already know what's gonna happen."

                                            >"Oh y'all ain't gonna have a quiet night to yourselves?"

                                            >You roll your eyes, letting her implication slide.

                                            "You're invited to join that party, it's rare you hang out with me and the gang during the weekends."

                                            >"Thank ya kindly, but Ah gotta be up in the morning."

                                            "Seriously? Do you ever have a day off?"

                                            >"Yeah, tomorrow."

                                            "And you're willingly choosing to wake up early?"

                                            >"Five in the morning to be exact." She says with a shrug.

                                            "You're a psychopath."


                                            End of Part 4