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Fracture: Anon in Zoo-Land

By Greggums
Created: 2021-10-24 09:34:11
Expiry: Never
fluttershy/flutterrape/

  1. 1.
    Originally Published November 30th, 2012
  2. 2.
     
  3. 3.
    >Blackness surrounds you, floating in a void which seems composed of an infinite depth of ink.
  4. 4.
    >You are still Anon, only unconscious from pain and morphine.
  5. 5.
    >sweetmorphine.exe is running with 99.9% efficiency
  6. 6.
    wheeeeeeeee.
  7. 7.
    >You’re slowly drifting downwards, caught on an unseen current which whisks you deeper into the carbon abyss.
  8. 8.
    >Three feet above the ground, you drop.
  9. 9.
    >You hit hard.
  10. 10.
    AHRRHGHRHGHRHGHRHGH.
  11. 11.
    >Timetogodeeper.jpg.
  12. 12.
    >”Anon. What’s the matter?”
  13. 13.
    >Look around and see your lifelong friends, Superego, Ego and Id.
  14. 14.
    >Superego is white and funny looking.
  15. 15.
    >Ego is black and bald.
  16. 16.
    >Id is Asian, but you’re still not sure which kind.
  17. 17.
     
  18. 18.
     
  19. 19.
    >RUNNING ZOOLANDER OS…..
  20. 20.
    I don’t know. I’m pondering things.
  21. 21.
    >”You know who you should ponder? Fluttershy.”
  22. 22.
    >”That’s gross.”
  23. 23.
    >”Earth to Superego, I was making a joke.”
  24. 24.
    >”Earth to Id, I knew that.”
  25. 25.
    STOP IT!
  26. 26.
    >Everyone stares at you.
  27. 27.
    >Even the ridiculously good-looking pictures of the four of you.
  28. 28.
    Don’t you think there’s something more to life than discussing whether or not to fuck my stalker?
  29. 29.
    >Blue_Steel.gif
  30. 30.
    I never did like that picture.
  31. 31.
    >Ego looks confused. ”Who are you talking to Anon?”
  32. 32.
    >Id open-hand punches Ego in the crotch, then quickly jabs him in the forehead.
  33. 33.
    >”I meant to do that.”
  34. 34.
    >Right. Superego starts speaking.
  35. 35.
    >”Look guys, Anon is confused, and you know what would help him get through these troubling times?”
  36. 36.
     
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  38. 38.
    >Their three voices cry out in manly unison:
  39. 39.
    >”ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPUCINOS!”
  40. 40.
    >dothejitterbug.mp3
  41. 41.
    >There is much manliness in the man-wagon as you and your three hetero-life-partners make their way to the gas station.
  42. 42.
    >While your friends are having a gasoline fight, you walk over to a trashcan.
  43. 43.
    >An old bastard threw out a paper that had your beautiful face on it.
  44. 44.
    >Avoid the used condoms. +10 dexterity.
  45. 45.
    >On the cover of the magazine is a clumsily photo-shopped picture of you dicking Yellow Quiet.
  46. 46.
    >It reads: Anon. A horsefucker.
  47. 47.
    Anon: A horse, fucker.
  48. 48.
    >You glance in your pants, a confused look on your face.
  49. 49.
    Well, I wouldn’t say “horse”…
  50. 50.
    >Look up and see Spike staring at you with the beddiest of bedroom eyes.
  51. 51.
    >Did he just hear that?
  52. 52.
    >Ohgodnightmares.jpg
  53. 53.
    >Turning around, it looks like the guys are done with their gas fight full of non-erotic-subtext.
  54. 54.
    >You put on a big smile, and see Id fumbling around in his pockets, then bringing something up to his mouth.
  55. 55.
    >Is that a cigarette?
  56. 56.
     
  57. 57.
     
  58. 58.
     
  59. 59.
    >Yup.
  60. 60.
    >Like the beautiful (no homo) dumbass that he is, he pulls out his lighter.
  61. 61.
    ID!
  62. 62.
    >A massive explosion of flames, mocha, and homo-erotic subtext launches you back into the black void of your unconscious mind.
  63. 63.
    What the hell is wrong with me?
  64. 64.
    >I don’t even know man, and I’m the narrator.
  65. 65.
    Hey, your voice sounds familiar…
  66. 66.
    >No it doesn’t.
  67. 67.
    No…I’m pretty sure I’ve heard it before…
  68. 68.
    >Listen. Let’s just forget about it and move on wit-
  69. 69.
    YOU’RE THE NARRATOR FROM THE POWERPUFF GIRLS!
  70. 70.
    >FUCK YOU IT’S TIME TO WAKE UP!
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  73. 73.
     
  74. 74.
    >SYSTEM REBOOT IN PROGRESS…
  75. 75.
    >”A-anon, are you alright?”
  76. 76.
    >Dammit. You’re on a sofa in Fluttershy’s cottage.
  77. 77.
    >You slowly move your head around, stopping in front of the big, fuzzy, pink&yellow monster in front of you.
  78. 78.
    weherermi?
  79. 79.
    >”What?”
  80. 80.
    werahmy?
  81. 81.
    >”I c-can’t understand you An-”
  82. 82.
    WHERE AM I?!
  83. 83.
    >”eep!” Fluttershy jumps up into the air, crashing into one of the support beams and falling to the floor.
  84. 84.
    >In your blurryvision(tm), you can see a white blob shaking its head.
  85. 85.
    >You remind yourself to put Angel on your “Do not steal from” list, and watch as Banana Hush pulls herself off the floor.
  86. 86.
    >”Well, Dr. Stable transferred you to my cottage because I have better knowledge on how to fix this.”
  87. 87.
    I saw you bribe him!
  88. 88.
    >”Well, how else would I get to take care of you, my little baby-kins?”
  89. 89.
    >Oh god, she just said ‘baby-kins’.
  90. 90.
    >Angel has a similar expression of disbelief on his face; you’re liking this rabbit more as time goes on.
  91. 91.
    >Ignoring you, Flutterbutt goes upstairs. “Now you stay right there while I go get your medication.”
  92. 92.
    Florence Nightingale Syndrome isn’t my fetish!
  93. 93.
    >You should try and get out of here man.
  94. 94.
    Smart thinking, Brain!
  95. 95.
    >*clank*
  96. 96.
    >Every limb is chained to the couch…even your penis, for some weird reason.
  97. 97.
    AND NEITHER IS STOCKHOLM SYNDROME!
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  101. 101.
     
  102. 102.
    >Later that evening…
  103. 103.
    >You’re not chained to the sofa anymore, but you are now chained to the fridge.
  104. 104.
    >Life’s just getting better, huh?
  105. 105.
    >”…alright, thank you Doctor Stable.” Silent canary hangs up the phone.
  106. 106.
    Oh sure, the ponies are advanced enough to have telephones, but I get sent to a rapist for “medical expertise.”
  107. 107.
    >”If loving you means that I’m a rapist, then I guess I’m the biggest rapist of all!” Her pupils turn into hearts as she’s saying this.
  108. 108.
    >The innocence of the ponies is enough to drive you insane sometimes.
  109. 109.
    >Granted, they do have massive and thriving Red-Light districts, but the terminology is just a little different than Earth’s.
  110. 110.
    >”Anyways, the Doctor says that you should be fine in 4-6 weeks…”
  111. 111.
    WHAT!?
  112. 112.
    >Bug Butt blushes a slight shade of orange, and begins fiddling with her hooves “I accidentally dropped you a couple times on the way over.”
  113. 113.
    Dumbass.
  114. 114.
    >”But that you shouldn’t attempt to masturbate or have sex before your cast disappears.”
  115. 115.
    Well, that makes sen…disappearing cast? Is this a ‘magic’ cast?
  116. 116.
    >She nods.
  117. 117.
    >”The Doctor said your stitches and cast should disappear when you’re…”
  118. 118.
    >She’s biting her lip. Why is she biting her lip?
  119. 119.
    >”…Back in working order.”
  120. 120.
    >The emphasis she put on “working” sends shivers up your spine.
  121. 121.
    >But at least there’s no sponge baths! For 4-6 weeks…

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