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Fracture: The Breaking of the Shaft

By Greggums
Created: 2021-10-24 09:32:05
Expiry: Never

  1. Originally Published on November 29th, 2012
  2.  
  3. >Day yesterday night in Equestria
  4. >Exhausted from running away from Banana Hush all day, you are now asleep,
  5. >Dreaming a little Anon dream where…
  6. >You’re fighting against a giant, pink Audrey Jr.
  7. >“FEED ME!”
  8. I’ve already fed your four times today!
  9. >In the real world, a massive tent has been forming in your jammies, and you’re sleepily swatting away the flies that try and land on your junk.
  10. >”FEED MEEEE!”
  11. >Audrey swats at you with her weird, spider-plant hands
  12. > =that tickles.
  13. Shut up brain, I’m fighting Audrey!
  14. >”QUIT YELLING AND FEEEEEEEEEEEEEED MEEEEEEEEE!”
  15. >You lunge forward, landing your hands on Audrey’s stem….neck?
  16. > =Plant anatomy is weird.
  17. >Yup.
  18. I agree.
  19. >”WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TALKINGTO?”
  20. >Screw Audrey and her plantiness, it’s time to unleash your final attack…
  21. >CROCODILE ROLL!
  22. > =CROCODILE ROLL!
  23. CROCODILE ROLL!
  24. >*snap*
  25.  
  26. >Audrey is still alive, but now bent at weird angle and drooping to the floor.
  27. >”Why?”
  28. > =Hey.
  29. >What?
  30. > =Isn’t Anon dreaming?
  31. >Oh yeah, he is. Why?
  32. > = WAKE UP BITCH!
  33. >You wake up with and fly out of bed.
  34. Dammit brain! I was having a trippy dream!
  35. > =Uh-huh, like I care, time for you to go pee dipshit.
  36. > [But I already went to the bathroom!
  37. > =Not you dipshit; HIM dipshit.
  38. > [Oh.
  39. >You shuffle towards the bathroom and line up in front of the toilet.
  40. >BY THE POWER OF WHITEBOWL! I HAVE TH-
  41. > Why is piss hitting my sink?
  42.  
  43.  
  44. >Turning to your right, you find your sink is absolutely drenched in urine
  45. > =Hey dumbass, your peeing on your towels
  46. Wha?
  47. >Turn right; Yellow towels
  48. > =Can you turn right again?
  49. >You obey, allowing your brain to control you for once.
  50. Weeeeeee
  51. >You turn too far right, and now you’re facing the shower.
  52. >A mahogany stream shoots from your body into the toilet bowl.
  53.  
  54.  
  55.  
  56. >ohshit.exe
  57. > =lookdown.rar
  58. Well fuck…
  59. >Your dick is purple, and bent to the right at a 30 degree angle.
  60. > Over the sound of your sex life crashing down around you, you hear a flapping noise from outside the bathroom.
  61. >You turn to look…sure enough, it’s Fluttershy.
  62. >”I-is home invasion your f-fetish An-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
  63. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
  64. >”WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR DICK?!”
  65. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU FREAK!
  66. >Ignoring you, Flutterbutt shoots you in the neck with a dart.
  67. >You throw your arm up as you fall, hoping to hit her into next Tuesday.
  68. >She sidesteps at the last moment, and you hit the floor hard.
  69. > =Fuck.
  70. >45 degrees.
  71.  
  72.  
  73. >The very next day…
  74. >INITIATING REBBOOT…WOULD YOU LIKE TO START IN SAFE MODE?
  75. >STARTING…
  76. >Opening your eyes, fuzzy shapes begin to come into view.
  77. >T.V., IV Stand, giant cast coming out of your crotch
  78. WHAT THE FUCK?!
  79. >”Oh look! He’s awake!”
  80. THE FUCK ARE YOU?
  81. >”I’m Doctor Stable.”
  82. >You point towards the plaster tower coming from your genitals.
  83. THE FUCK IS THAT?
  84. >”That is a cast covering your penis. Contrary to what we thought at first, it wasn’t that…hard…to fix.”
  85. >The hospital falls deathly silent from Doc’s bad pun.
  86. >Nurse Redheart started to giggle, but stopped when someone hit her in the head with a bedpan.
  87. >”Well fuck you too.”
  88. > “Anyways, Anon, we’ve done all we can, but we have to transfer you to a facility better equipped to handle your…situation.”
  89.  
  90. >As if on cue, Fluttershy pops her head into the empty doorway.
  91. >”R-ready to go Anon?”
  92. >Your heart stops, and your bedpan gets heavier.
  93. NONONONONONONONO!
  94. >You leap out of bed and grab the Doctor, ripping out your IV in the process.
  95. >You don’t care, your dicks broken!
  96. ALLRIGHT! NOBODY MOVES OR THE DOCTOR GETS IT!
  97. >Wait Anon! You don’t even have a weapon!
  98. You’re right brain.
  99. >”Anon, who are t-talking to?”
  100. >You leaned forward, rage building in your eyes.
  101. SHUT UP FLUTTERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
  102. >The jimmies of a million birds were rustled by your girly screams.
  103. >As you just found out, broken penises are very sensitive to sudden movement.
  104. >You fall to the floor as the Doctor wiggles out of your arms.
  105. >As the world begins to fade out, you swear you see Silent Canary slipping Doctor Stable a HUGE bag of bits.
  106. Well shit.

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