No Student Parking In The Faculty Lot 3


                                            Originally Published March 4th, 2018


                                            >Monday in Equestria

                                            >You are Vice-Principal Luna

                                            >Your sister is out sick for the day, so you're filling in for her

                                            >You delegated the morning announcements to Ms. Cheerilee so that you could drink your coffee in peace

                                            >And dear lord you are bored

                                            Guhh. How DOES she pass the time here?

                                            >Rarely anyone is sent to the office, and the paperwork is so small that you usually don't start till after lunch

                                            Hmm...

                                            >You lock the door, taking a quick look around to make sure no one is nearby.

                                            >Coast clear, you hop onto the desk and undo the top button to your shirt

                                            I'M PrinciPAL CelesTIA!, you proclaim to the empty room

                                            >You giggle as you do a small hop to the floor

                                            I JUST LOVE being a rOle model to my STUDENTS!

                                            >Your giggle becomes a full laugh as you leap towards the windows

                                            LUNA plEASE, hOW will the CHILdren like you if the BLINDS are always dra-AH!

                                            >You drop below the sill and fix your shirt

                                            >There's a man floating in the air

                                            >"I didn't think I could be more in love with yo-"

                                            >THUNK

                                            >"CRAP!"

                                            >You hear leaves rustle and branches snap

                                            >Terrified, you lean out the window to see if the flying man is okay

                                            >But instead, you see a green man tangled in a tree

                                            Oh, it's you. Anonymous, I hope you realize you have detention?

                                            >"But Vice-Principal Luna, he was helping me test my new drone!"

                                            >A purple figure steps out from behind the tree Anonymous is in

                                            Miss Sparkle?

                                            >"I'm sorry ma'am, I needed a place to test my drone's carrying capacity, and Anon said you wouldn't be upset if we used the faculty lot!"

                                            >You heave out a sigh, forcing yourself not to be upset

                                            It's alright Miss Sparkle. I'll send Leo with a ladder and scissors.

                                            >"I KNEW YA LUBBED ME, BP!"

                                            >You couldn't have grabbed the emergency whisky faster if you tried


                                            >Monday in Equestria

                                            >You Are Vice-Principal Luna

                                            >You like getting to work early because you're certain the sun is out to get you

                                            >And there is a car in pulling into your parking space

                                            >A green beetle, with rusted brown chrome

                                            Ugh, again? I THOUGHT he would have learned by now.

                                            >You stomp up to Anonymous's car, grinding your teeth hard enough to turn coal into diamonds

                                            >You slam the roof as you close in

                                            ANONYMOUS, I HAVE TOLD YOU TI-oh my goodness

                                            >In the car is not Anonymous, like you thought, but instead a young green girl

                                            >And she is on the verge of tears

                                            >"I'm s-sorry. This is my f-first d-day a-and I d-didn't know"

                                            >"Good one, Luna", you think to yourself

                                            I'm so sorry, I thought you were somebody else. I'm Vice-Principal Luna, and you are...

                                            >"W-wallflower B-blush.", she stammers out, tears subsiding

                                            >You gave her directions to the student lot, and then spend the early morning showing her around the school

                                            >She's a bright young girl, if not a bit skittish. Kinda reminds you of yourself at a young age

                                            >With school about to start, you walk her back to her car to grab her books

                                            And here we are, back at the student lot. If you have any other questions, don't hesitate to come visit my off-

                                            >"I'VE GOT A QUESTION!"

                                            >Oh boy; coming in on rollerblades, it's the green one you can't stand

                                            Good Morning, Ano-nymous?

                                            >He doesn't seem to register you being there, coming to a stop in front of Wallflower

                                            >"ARE YOU TRYING TO STEAL MY GIRLFRIEND AGAIN, SIS?", he declares while thrusting his finger at you

                                            You're his sister?

                                            >Wallflower sighs and rolls her eyes

                                            >"No, I'm not! I haven't 'stolen' any of your girlfriends! Plus she's the Vice-Principal for crying out loud!"

                                            >"THEN EXPLAIN JUNE!"

                                            >"SHE WAS OUR BABYSITTER, AND SHE LIKED ME BETTER ANYWAYS!"

                                            >You slink back to your office while the two siblings argue about you, leaving them by Wallflower's car

                                            >You heave a sigh as you slide into your office chair

                                            Why doesn't this ever happen to Cadence?


                                            >Monday in Equestria

                                            >You are Dean Cadence

                                            >Your favorite musicians are Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Captain Beefheart

                                            >And there is a white moped in your parking space

                                            >Well, less in your parking space and more behind it, really

                                            >It's kinda blocking you in

                                            Whose moped is this?, you wonder aloud as you get closer

                                            >When you get close enough to touch it, a man in a trench coat and a pantyhose facemask leaps between you and the bike

                                            >"HAHEHA! THIS IS MY HOG, SWEE-

                                            aAAAAAAAAAAA!

                                            >You rip your mace out of your bag and spray him in the eyes

                                            >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIII"

                                            >He lets out a girly shriek as he hits the asphalt, ripping his mask off and crying

                                            >The moped falls onto his foot, the pain pulling his hands from his face

                                            >Wait a second, you know this green molester

                                            Androgynous? What are you doing?

                                            >Nearby, you hear some bushes rustle

                                            >"Oh right, that scream was my cue!" A voice says from the bushes nearby

                                            >Walking out from the bush is one of your students, Shining Armor

                                            >"WALK BY ACTING NONCHALANT", he loudly reads off his palm as he approaches

                                            >When he gets near your car, he stops, still looking into his palm

                                            >"H-hoe dare yoo, You F-friend?fiend? YOU FIEND!"

                                            >He looks from his hand at the two of you, a smug expression of heroism on his face

                                            >This is quickly replaced by shock when he sees his moped on the floor

                                            >"My baby! Anonymous, I thought you said you were going to help me get a date with the Dean!"

                                            >He pulls the moped off of Anonymous and helps him to his feet

                                            >A date?

                                            >"Bro trusssst me, the molester/hero trick always works on old-AH GOD THE WIND STINGS MY EYES"

                                            >You open your car and grab a bottle of water, handing it to Anonymous,

                                            You know boys, I have some paperwork I forgot to grab> Could you please be gone by the time I get back?

                                            >Shining Armor turns cherry red and salutes you as you turn to walk away

                                            >"Ma'am, yes ma'am!"

                                            >Free from his hands, you hear the moped fall back onto Anonymous's foot

                                            >"OW! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE INTO COUGARS, SHINING? WHY?"