I know you'll see


                                            I directly blame zigzagwanderer for this.

                                            __

                                            >Be Anon

                                            >You’re currently in Ponyville General Hospital, sitting by the bed of this week’s attempted rapist

                                            >”Oughh…”

                                            Pinkie. You’re awake.

                                            >She’s in the horse equivalent of a full-body cast, the only openings being for her head and her rear

                                            >”Ough, h-hey Nonny. Wow, we must have done-did the do a bit too rough if we’re in the hospital, huh? Ha-AGH.”

                                            >She winces in pain from attempting to laugh

                                            No, Pinkie, you’re in the hospital. I’m here because Ponyville bylaws require someone you know to be by your bed when you wake up, and Dash was busy on a friendship quest.

                                            >”Oh.” You can almost see her mane deflate a little.

                                            >”So, if it wasn’t because we mashed potatoes, then why am I here? And why can’t I move my neck? And why do I feel so gooooooooood?”

                                            >You sigh, and adjust yourself in the chair

                                            Well, working backwards-

                                            >”It’d be nice if you worked my backwards.”

                                            You know I can just leave, right? Rarity isn’t supposed to take over for three hours.

                                            >”Sorry.”

                                            Thank you. Now, to start from the last question, you’re currently on enough ketamine to kill a horse.

                                            >”Ahhh”, her tail wags slightly, “wait. To what a horse, Nonny?”

                                            Yeah, the doctors were pretty shocked at your tolerance for painkillers. You were screaming for a couple of hours, haha.

                                            >You feign wiping a tear from your eye.

                                            >Pinkie doesn’t seem amused...you think. It’s hard to tell through all the ketamine.

                                            And the reason you’re here, you little hellion, is because you turned my kitchen floor to concrete-

                                            >”Nonny I don’t-“

                                            Let me finish. You replaced my kitchen floor with a 4-inch thick concrete slab and then, for some reason that’s beyond even me, you threw yourself from the top of the stairs screaming “PINKIE!” before landing hard enough to break all of your ribs.

                                            >”W-“

                                            And then you rolled over, coughed up a frankly obscene amount of blood, and I called the hospital to come get you.

                                            >”Well, that-“

                                            I didn’t even get to finish my breakfast.

                                            >”I’m sorry if I ruined your morning, Nonny. I wasn’t trying to, honest!”

                                            >You rub your temple

                                            It’s fine. I kinda appreciate the concrete flooring, actually. But what the hell were you thinking?

                                            >A slow, sheepish grin spreads across her battered face

                                            >”I was thinking that maybe iCarly references were your fetish?”

                                            >It takes a moment for her response to register in your head

                                            You realize we’re never finishing the box set now, yes?

                                            >She gasps, and then hisses as her ribs shift slightly too far

                                            >”Nonny please!” She whines, “I need to know if Seddie happens! They’re made for each other!”

                                            Nope. And as further punishment, I’m gonna leave you alone while I go get a late breakfast. See ya in an hour, Pink.

                                            >Pinkies cries as you get up to leave, and Nurse Redheart quickly brushes past you to up her ketamine so she quiets down

                                            >It was a “Gibby’s stunt actor broke three ribs and almost died, and I also didn't know how to end this story” kind of morning