Shadow [Midnightverse]


                                            >I feel like I have a really good life.

                                            >After all, I get fed daily without needing to do anything for it, a place to sleep and to play.

                                            >And plenty of friends.

                                            >But...

                                            >I do miss Shadow.

                                            >I remember when she first arrived... wherever we are.

                                            >Never really thought about this being a place, and there being other places, but Shadow wasn't from here.

                                            >She was scared the first day.

                                            >She didn't look like the rest of us.

                                            >And there's quite a few of us.

                                            >Shadow's coat was a lot darker than anyone else's - super dark blue.

                                            >And she was a unicorn - which was pretty uncommon.

                                            >Most of us are just regular plain ponies.

                                            >And she had other markings that stood out, from the blue and purple mane to the light purple mottling on her flanks.

                                            >And another mark that I didn't recognize.

                                            >She had really pretty green eyes, too.

                                            >Like emeralds.

                                            >I was the first one to greet her, excited to meet another friend.

                                            >It took a while for her to get settled in, but we took to each other right away.

                                            >Kinda funny, since my bright orange coat and yellowish mane were sort of the opposite of hers.

                                            >I helped come up with her name - we all do that for each other, based on our looks.

                                            >Like my name - Sunrise.

                                            >Shadow mentioned something about being meant to turn out like a show character or something.

                                            >...Luna?

                                            >I don't know, but she apparently doesn't look like that.

                                            >But her dark coat is sort of like the dark or the shadows created by the little suns set in the sky at night when they dim.

                                            >Shadow fit her really well for a name.

                                            >The men in white don't really seem to care, they usually just point at one of us when they come in our pasture for something.

                                            >Most of em aren't bad - some are actually pretty nice.

                                            >But the one guy that seems to be in charge - he's sorta mean.

                                            >And he says some harsh and angry-sounding words a lot.

                                            >Every once in a while, someone will take one of us for a checkup, or some sort of test - then we come back.

                                            >Then we get to go back to playing around or exploring the area again, even just relaxing.

                                            >But I remember when Shadow disappeared for a long time.

                                            >I figured it would just be like any other day- just a little while, maybe an afternoon.

                                            >I waited for her, hoping she wasn't too nervous.

                                            >Shadow still got a bit worried about stuff like that.

                                            >It wasn't so bad when I was with her though.

                                            >We were practically inseparable.

                                            >Of course, we're all friends here.

                                            >But me and Shadow are besties...

                                            >I don't know how long it was until she came back.

                                            >It felt like forever.

                                            >But then the one day, she finally came back alongside a man who then disappeared like normal beyond the fence.

                                            >I was so excited and so relieved that she was back!

                                            >I galloped right up to her, expecting her to be so happy to see me after so long apart!

                                            >But Shadow was... different.

                                            >She looked lost, kept looking around at things as I ran up to her...

                                            >Like everything was new again.

                                            "Shadow, you're back!" I cheered, unable to stop smiling or calm my voice. "I was so worried about you!"

                                            >She took a step back, staring at me as if trying to make sense of what I had said.

                                            >Or who I was.

                                            >"Shadow?"

                                            "Oh come on, don't play those silly games right now."

                                            >"I'm not playing any games. Who are you?"

                                            >Hearing that question hurt.

                                            >Because just from her serious, stern face, I knew this was not a joke.

                                            "I'm Sunrise. You know, your bestie?"

                                            >"Bestie?"

                                            >Shadow glanced around, those glimmering green eyes scanning the rest of the herd and the pasture.

                                            "Your... best friend?"

                                            >"I'm sorry, I don't think I know you," she said coldly. "I don't think I've ever been here before."

                                            "...Oh," was all I could manage, my head hanging at that painful statement. "What do you remember?"

                                            >She merely shrugged, as if unable to see my despair.

                                            >"Not much. Everything is mostly a blur until I woke up. Something was done to me, I guess? I really don't know."

                                            >Whatever happened to her must have messed with her mind.

                                            >It meant having to start over like it was the first day we met.

                                            >I still held a little hope though.

                                            >Maybe a familiar area or smell or sound - something could make her remember.

                                            "Well, that's okay! Come on, I'll show you around. We'll be besties again before you know it."

                                            >"Isn't this kind of it?"

                                            >I stopped prancing around.

                                            "What do you mean?"

                                            >"I mean - this is it. This pasture, some trees, a few little houses. What else would there be? I can see pretty much everything from here - this is just an enclosure, isn't it?"

                                            "I... guess? This is your home, Shadow."

                                            "It doesn't feel like it. And I still don't know about that name - are you sure you don't have me confused with someone else?"

                                            >Everything she said was so...

                                            >I don't know, really.

                                            >It was like she had absolutely no connection to anything.

                                            >Shadow looked around again, focusing on something on a far wall.

                                            >"EquisCo. We're part of something. Like a business."

                                            "Huh?"

                                            >I turned to follow where she was looking.

                                            >It was a bunch of weird shapes way up there that have been present for - well, forever.

                                            >They mean something?

                                            "Maybe - but come on, you must be exhausted. Let's go relax and meet everyone else, okay?"

                                            >"Maybe in a bit," was the bored reply.

                                            >Shadow started looking around for... something.

                                            >Like she was trying to solve a mystery or something.

                                            "Okay... I'm gonna go get something to eat though - I'll be right over there."

                                            >"Okay."


                                            *****


                                            >Things never got better.

                                            >Shadow wasn't Shadow anymore.

                                            >Something had changed in her.

                                            >She always seemed to be thinking about something or had a paper of some sort she was studying.

                                            >Like reading stuff.

                                            >I never knew anyone that could read other than the men in white.

                                            >I tried to get her to play with the rest of us, but it just never interested her for very long.

                                            >It was like she could not just relax and be lazy.

                                            >I don't know if I ever really saw her sleep, either.

                                            >And Shadow would come and go a lot with the men in white, as well.

                                            >Sometimes for a whole day, even longer.

                                            >She always had something new to look at.

                                            >It sort of became the only thing she cared about...

                                            "Come on Shadow, looking at that stuff has to be sooo boring. Let's play," I suggested the last day I remember seeing her.

                                            >"I'm busy - I was told this is something I should try to understand," she said, pointing a hoof to a - a book?

                                            >"That can wait until later, can't it? Come on, don't you want to run around with me - your bestie, Sunrise?"

                                            >"I don't know you. I told you that, I told you just running around for no reason bores me. What else do you want?" she snapped at me.

                                            "But Shadow, we're..."

                                            >"Just stop! I don't remember you, I don't remember any of this!" she shouted angrily.

                                            >It made me take a step back as she rose to her hooves.

                                            >Being taller than me - or anyone else... it was a little scary.

                                            >"You keep telling me all of this like I'm stupid or something! All you do is ask me to play tag or hide and seek or something else all day every day! Or run around mindlessly, even after I tell you I have other things to do!"

                                            "I just wanted to be nice," I replied sadly. "That's great that you can read and stuff now but... don't you just want to relax and have fun? Just be lazy, like we used to do?"

                                            >"I can't. I feel like - I can't stop thinking. I need to be occupied with something. I'm sorry, but this 'Shadow,' if she was me... I think she's gone."

                                            "Don't say that!" I gasped, stepping toward her. "You just need to try to remember harder, just get away from... from... all of that!"

                                            >Shadow looked at the pile of papers and other articles she was given over time to study by the men in white.

                                            >Shadow shut her eyes and grimaced as if she was in pain.

                                            "Shadow..."

                                            >"Shut up! Just shut up, I can't take this!" Shadow shouted, raising a hoof to her head. "I'm not this pony you keep talking about, I don't - I can't just stop learning! I have to! I can't stand doing nothing! I'm supposed to learn things for a bigger purpose anyway! Just leave me the fuck alone!"

                                            >I don't think I've ever felt so sad and alone to hear my best friend say all of that.

                                            >It was a pain I don't think I have ever felt before.

                                            "Okay, I'll leave you alone then... I'm sorry - erm, whoever you are now."

                                            >"I don't have a name. If I do, I don't know it," she replied sternly.

                                            >Shadow settled back down, drawn back to her book like before, while I walked away.

                                            >I didn't want to, but I was clearly making her upset by trying to return things back to the way they once were.

                                            >She was taken away later that day by the men in white.

                                            >I still had hope after a day away, something would change, and she would come back.

                                            >Like those men had made a mistake with... whatever they did, and could undo it.

                                            >I asked a couple of times whenever the men in white came in, but no one had an answer.

                                            >I never saw Shadow again.

                                            >I still have my other friends, and I still enjoy just being me and having a good time.

                                            >But...

                                            >I miss the games of tag we played that could last for almost the whole day.

                                            >The afternoon naps in the grass.

                                            >Seeing her smile, those lively green eyes so full of happiness.

                                            >I miss my bestie.

                                            >I'm sorry things ended up the way they did.

                                            >I don't blame her - whatever happened wasn't her fault.

                                            >It makes me a little worried that something might happen to one of us like it did Shadow.

                                            >But like I told her - there's no reason to worry about it.

                                            >Maybe I tried too hard to return things to normal, too.

                                            >I don't know.

                                            >I just know I still miss Shadow.

                                            >I won't forget her - I still think of her as my friend.

                                            >I hope Shadow is at least happy and doing good.

                                            >Wherever she is...