RGRE - The Grand Sunbutt


                                            >You are Anon.

                                            >Occultist from a long line of occultists.

                                            >Your grandfather died recently, and bequeathed you his entire library, including a Grand Albert.

                                            >This rare arcane tome, allegedly penned by Albertus Magnus (hence the name) cannot be bought, sold, traded, or stolen. Once opened by a new owner, it must be willingly given away or bequeathed.

                                            >Otherwise, the book simply returns to its previous owner.

                                            >You have no idea why there's a note on the cover calling it "The Grand Sunbutt!"

                                            >It's not in your grandfather's handwriting, either.

                                            >You tried every spell that you knew of to analyze the contents of the book from outside.

                                            >Nothing worked.

                                            >With some trepidation, you eventually gathered your courage, opened the book, and read it cover to cover.

                                            >Nothing seemed out of the ordinary for an occult tome.


                                            >That night, a fat-assed white alicorn came and sat on your face.

                                            >Then she sat on your crotch - well, bounced, really.

                                            >Then she came back the next night and did it again.

                                            >And you got another round of it the night after that.

                                            >This time, she was gleefully babbling about keeping you unshod and erect in the kitchen.

                                            >You're not sure what that was about, but now you know why the old man died of a combination heart attack and crushed pelvis.

                                            >And why his week-dead corpse had an erection that STILL hadn't gone down when the paramedics kicked his door in.

                                            >It's a NICE ass.