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RGRE - The Grand Sunbutt

By Satyrfag
Created: 2022-01-04 05:27:13
Updated: 2022-08-24 03:06:10
Expiry: Never

  1. >You are Anon.
  2. >Occultist from a long line of occultists.
  3. >Your grandfather died recently, and bequeathed you his entire library, including a Grand Albert.
  4. >This rare arcane tome, allegedly penned by Albertus Magnus (hence the name) cannot be bought, sold, traded, or stolen. Once opened by a new owner, it must be willingly given away or bequeathed.
  5. >Otherwise, the book simply returns to its previous owner.
  6. >You have no idea why there's a note on the cover calling it "The Grand Sunbutt!"
  7. >It's not in your grandfather's handwriting, either.
  8. >You tried every spell that you knew of to analyze the contents of the book from outside.
  9. >Nothing worked.
  10. >With some trepidation, you eventually gathered your courage, opened the book, and read it cover to cover.
  11. >Nothing seemed out of the ordinary for an occult tome.
  12.  
  13. >That night, a fat-assed white alicorn came and sat on your face.
  14. >Then she sat on your crotch - well, bounced, really.
  15. >Then she came back the next night and did it again.
  16. >And you got another round of it the night after that.
  17. >This time, she was gleefully babbling about keeping you unshod and erect in the kitchen.
  18. >You're not sure what that was about, but now you know why the old man died of a combination heart attack and crushed pelvis.
  19. >And why his week-dead corpse had an erection that STILL hadn't gone down when the paramedics kicked his door in.
  20. >It's a NICE ass.

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