[NSFW] NN - A normal BOI M3 part 3

>The abandoned cafe is well secured
>Some cultists are heavily armed with assault riffles outside
>Luckily, you are a Saint, so that means that you don't give a shit!
>You ram a big ATV to the entrance, crushing whatever resistance they could have
"Come on norman, go go go!"
>"Let's blow these assholes!"
>You two get in the first basement
>Guys were expecting you
>Norman and you take cover behind two pillars

"Norman, get ready!"
>You throw two smoke grenades to the area
>The enemies can't see where you two are
>Both attack up front, killing 6 cultists
"Change! Cover me!"
>you two swap the main weapon, Eight Days style, and you move forward
>Norman sends lead to the scattered enemies, and 5 more come from the lower level
>Norman takes cover, and all the enemy fire is focused on him
>You sneak and take one enemy as human shield
>Using your shotgun, you take out 4 more cultists
>There's only 3, and they kill your shield
>Before taking damage, norman takes out the last enemies using his guns akimbo style
"Come on, we have to push through!"
>Norman takes a flash grenade, and throws it to the alleway to the sub 2nd floor
>A few screams come from low, meaning they are blind
>Since is a straight road, you use the shotgun to take another 5 out
>When you are about to open the metal door, you see something in the bull's eye
"RPG!!"
>You and Norman retreat, but the blast was too strong: both fall as the door is blasted away. Behind there's 23 cultists
>You two cover at the sides of the door

>Norman and you rise the metal door and use it as cover
>Norman shoots the MG, trying to mow down as many as he can
>After a moment, 15 cultists are together
>You take your two UZi's and destroy them
>After that, you throw a flashbang
"Take cover!"
>A white flash goes off, and the cultists are blinded
>Norman goes head on to the enemies
>Bad move since 10 more appeared from the door taking to the last floor
>The enemies retaliate, and Norman evades the shooting MC Hammer style
>One bullet passes close to his hips, and his pants fall off, showing his penis
>All the cultists stop as they stare the big member in confusion, and Norman hitting a guy in the forehead with it, leaving a mushroom shaped mark
"Haha, I though you didn't brought the Penetrator"
>Norman recovers and steals one of the cultists's pants
>They look like parachuting pants
>Before they react to a guy taking some pants, you take the last 8
"Alright, we are free to go"
>"Great. I'm tired of the goddamn cultists in the goddamn basement"
>When Norman goes to the second metal door to the sub 3rd floor, an explotion opens it
>Norman is out!

>The crazy cultists are making a last stand by agrouping 3 psychos with a RPG!
>You swap the MG with your Saint Brand Dubstep Gun! (tm)
>A few shots later, they are dancing to the raving techno music
>You use Saint Brand Malt Liquor to revive Norman
>"Agh, fuck that hurt"
"Come on man, boost me!"
>Norman assumes position, and boost you for a small jump forward
>Your bracelets shine, and you hulk punch the last cultists
>BLAM!!! The entire place gets coated in blood!
>"That was awesome!"
"This is how Saints fight!"
>Yeah! High five time!
"Take the rockets. We are blowing this shit up"
>Norman takes the RPG and both of you go to the last floor
>A maniacal laugh sounds all over the room
>Some candles light up, and a priest appears
>He made crazy surgeries to his body: his shoulders are plates of metal, and his bald head is bleeding while sporting two big goat horns
>His bare chest has serious cuts that read "ironic"
>>"Why you two dare to disturb our underground lord's slumber, you plebs?"
>"Your "lord" tried to murder me, and I'm going to return the favor!"
>>"You have no bussines here!"
>He rises a machete, cuts himself, and splats his blood on the floor
>From the small drops, big humanoid figures rise
>>"Lord Scott, give me strenght to defeat these mainstream sluts"

"Alright, let the good times roll!"
>You take out a burst rifle, and shoot the humanoids
>They look very weak, since one hit makes them explode in small drops of blood
"Woah, and I though satanic priests were more original than that"
>>"My blood followers were summoned only by me!"
"Well, nah. Either dark priests or parasites monsters do that"
>>"I was the first on doing that!"
"No. How about you bring your zombie army so we get the cliches done? You hipster posse"
>>"I am a true hipster priest!"
>"Yeah, right. And you won't blow up!"
>Norman shoots a rocket to the priest
>He got a direct hit!
>The priest recovers quickly, and his machete shines red
>Norman is reloading the RPG, but before he shoots it again, the priest slashes the air, creating a red crimson wave
>Norman gets hit, and the rocket goes to the roof
>BUM! The entire top falls, and 2 floors crush him
>A red shine comes from the rubble
>Norman and you take cover
>> *BLAM* "Rocks won't stop my lord's duty!"

"Norman! Retreat!"
>Carrying his damaged body, Norman goes to the entrance
>You shoot all the rubble, rising lots of dust
>>"A dirty tactic for a Saint"
"At least I don't pray for my own damnation"
>You shot to the priest, but the dust cloud is too big
>You go into the cloud with your shotgun equiped
>A few moments later you found him
"Eat lead you fuck!"
>A straight shot to the face, but he barely flinched
"You have to be fucking kidding me"
>The priest grab you, and stabs you with his machete
>The armor managed to save you from instant death
>He throws you away
>>"Do not cry Saint. I'll soon join you to my troops"
>Before he strikes again, a barrage of bullets hit his back
>It's Norman!
"Nolan! Hold on!"
>>"You?! The curse of my blade should have killed you?!"
>"Next time don't leave medical equipment lying around!"
>You manage to run away
>The priest starts to scream, but his screams aren't human anymore
>He runs towards Norman, slowly turning into a demon
>He jumps, and Norman points the RPG at him
>>"ROOOAAAAARRRRR!!!!!"
"And boom goes the dynamite"
>Norman shoots the RPG into the demon's mouth
>The monster swallows the projectile, and his body explodes

>You are Norman
>After a battle through the first circle of Hell, you manage to rise victorious
>Maybe you are happy that God gave you a Saint to protect you
>A walk deep in the last floor, you see a small strange box
>It looks like a bad puppet: the arms, head and legs are just pasted onto a wooden box
>You take it and open it
>It has a human heart, and a gruesome vibe comes from it
>You don't need to add two plus two. This is his heart
"Let's go Nolan. We got what we need"
>As you two return, the rubble moves and the priest rises, full of bloody bruises and cuts
>>"You think you can stop him?"
>You and Nolan turn back and shoot him with your pistols
>The priest falls, and you two reload
>He rises again
>>"M-my Lo-rd will kill you"
"God fucking dammit" *takes out two colts*
>"Just die already!" *pulls out golden Desert Eagle*
>You two unload all the bullets into his chest, destroying whatever flesh and bone is inside
>The priest falls, and doesn't move
>You stay for a bit, but confirming he is gone, you leave again
>Or it was before your foot hits his machete
>You grab it, and a twisted idea comes to your head
>You walk up to the body of the priest, and chop his head off!
>Back at the surface, you throw his head in the reciclable can of the cafe
>"Remind me to never piss you off"
"Too late, I'm already pissed"
>you two get inside the ATV, and go back to HQ

>In HQ, purple and Sunset are at the entrance
"Sunset! You are alright!"
>Before you can give her a reassuring hug, she kicks you in the balls and punches your face
>You fall on the ground
"Ow! The fuck was that for?!"
SS: That was for punching me asshole!
>She starts to kick you
N: Wait! Sunset, stop!
TS: The agents explained it to you! It wasn't his fault!
SS: I don't give a shit! Let me kick him!
>Nolan grabs her and starts carrying her away
SS: Let me go you idiot! I'm not done with him!
>Nolan carries Sunset inside the building, and you are left with Purple
"Ugh... And I though her kicks hurted when she used boots, heels are a bitch"
>"Sorry, when the agents told her what happened she didn't took it so well"
"I could see it Purple. She kicked my balls"
>You stand up
"Come on. Nolan took the item inside. We have to go"