[SFW] NN - Norman at Equestria Land


                                            >Be Normal Norman

                                            >After crazy days at school, the vacations finally put a stop to the suffering

                                            >Nobody is calling you racist, nobody is playing pranks on you

                                            >And you give Chloe your friend Scott to be at peace with no hipster bullshit

                                            >It's an only you day!

                                            >And what better way to spend the day than the new amusement park, Equestria Land!

                                            >You bought a full service ticket, so you can go to any attraction you want


                                            >Entering the amusement park filled you with that silly childhood nostalgia

                                            >The games, the laughs

                                            >And the high quantities of sugar in any food you eat

                                            >Cotton candy, popcorn, candy apples, cookies, sweets, lollipops

                                            >You run to the food area, and buy one of everything

                                            >Sitting in one bench, you go full madness on anything that lands on your mouth

                                            >If cavities and diabetes were the punishement for this glorious moment, it was well worth it

                                            >A while later, maybe you are having seconds thoughs

                                            >Sickness and dentist are easy to go by, but God, bellyache is cruel

                                            >"Corndogs! Churros! Hotdogs! Sodas!"

                                            >Well, another bite won't hurt

                                            "Hey man, one corndog please"

                                            >"That'll be $3.50"

                                            >You pay the good man, and eat the corndog

                                            >*Gruooooo!*

                                            "Oh man, that was a mistake..."

                                            >You run to the port-o-potties, but there's a long line

                                            "Oh man..."


                                            >You make a desperate run to the water ride

                                            >The log ride is full of wet people laughing like mad men

                                            >The ride is simple but effective: a few quick turns, a slow rise up, and one big fall

                                            >But you aren't here because of the game

                                            >You run all the way behind the attraction, and in one very well hidden area, you undo your pants and squat

                                            >Your ears were perking up, waiting for the ultimate sound: the splash made by the log falling

                                            >Time doesn't help, your stomach is burning and hurting more

                                            >When you though everyone was going to hear you crap, a loud splash shakes the place

                                            "AAAAAHHHHHHH!"

                                            >You scream as loud as you can so you can blend in with the other ones, and a loud fart followed by a big shit leaves your body

                                            >You enjoy the calming sensation of an empty belly after taking a big smelly shit for a few seconds, and clean up

                                            >Well, service is going to take a while before coming here

                                            >You are back at the entrance of the log ride, thinking what to do now


                                            >Well, you feel really chill after taking a shit in a place that was probably more clean that the portable bathrooms

                                            >Walking around, there's the games for kids, like a mini-zoo and a small rollercoaster

                                            >Flutters and Rainbow are there

                                            >You choose to walk back before they see you. You don't need magic crazy girl shit today, only fun

                                            >Walking around, the relaxing area is nothing special. But something was weird. AJ was there only sitting a bench

                                            >You keep walking, and you see Tim with that nerdy little boy getting a candy apple. Adam is working there

                                            >Now that you think about it, you have been seeing Tim a lot with that nerdy kid everytime he gets away from Nolan.

                                            >And that kid gave him that new jog sweater

                                            >"Tim, look! Let's go there!"

                                            >he points to that giant octopus carousel

                                            >"Ok, ok. We are going"

                                            >They go to that game

                                            >A walk later, you find the carnival games

                                            >you stop right there

                                            >Sunset and human purple are in front of the bottle game

                                            >"This game is rigged!"

                                            >sunset walks away while throwing a ring, and lands it on the bottle

                                            >"Yes! Come one, come all! Everyone's a winner!"

                                            >Well, it's not the only game there. There are a lot of other carnival games


                                            >After a bit of pondering, the mini-zoo it is

                                            >A small walk back, you enjoy yourself with the little farm animals

                                            >Funny, this place would look like yellow's place instead of the rollercoaster

                                            >Whatever, you saw her with Dash. She probably didn't had a choice

                                            >she wouldn't have a choice with you neither to deal with the equestrian bullshit, but I guess you are too nice so you wouldn't tell her no

                                            >Whatever, petting time

                                            >A small sheep comes to you

                                            "Aww"

                                            >A smaller cute sheep goes closer too

                                            "Awwwww"

                                            >You look at a cuter little lamb at the side

                                            "Awwwwwwwww!"

                                            >The big sheep comes to your sight

                                            "Get off you!"

                                            >You shove the sheep away, and look at the little lamb

                                            "Ahttp://www..."

                                            >A few pets later, you leave the zoo with an "I petted a lamb" pin


                                            >"Bah!"

                                            >A loud sheep scream comes behind you

                                            >The sheep you shoo away is there, looking angry at you

                                            >"Bah!"

                                            "Oh shit!"

                                            >The sheep starts to chase you, and you run away

                                            >All the park is watching a young adult boy being scared by a small sheep

                                            >You run to the food court, and throw anything to stop it

                                            >Bagels, apples, cotton candy

                                            >The sheep shrugged off most of the sweets, some sticking in his wool

                                            >You keep runing until you pass the park again

                                            >You see a hive of bees, and in a cartoony way, you throw it to the sheep

                                            >"BAAAAAAHHH!!!!"

                                            >The bees get stuck in the sweet wool and attack the sheep, and she keeps running until it falls in the park fountain

                                            >Animal control arrives, and take the sheep away

                                            >Whoo, oh man that was close

                                            >Well, you guess you can't check the zoo now. May as well go to other place

                                            >A speakerphone goes on

                                            >"Attention visitors. The rainbooms are going to sing in today's parade! Please be ready!"

                                            >You check your watch

                                            >You can go to five attraction games before the parade


                                            >After a crazy sheep chase, you need to unwind

                                            >You go to the carnival games area, and go to the shooting dart game

                                            Flim: Welcome to the darts game

                                            Flam: Just $10 bucks a play

                                            Flim: Rules are simple

                                            Flam: $1 for big ones, $3 for medium, and $5 for smaller ones

                                            Flim: You only have 5 shots

                                            Flam: Now don't go and make this a bust

                                            >They give you five darts

                                            >You aim, shake your hand a bit, and throw the darts

                                            >*pop!* *pop!* *pop!*

                                            >Well, that was a close one

                                            >you almost recover what you paid for

                                            >You missed one, two popped big ballons, and you threw two darts at the same time, but they only hitted one of the small ones

                                            >$9 back, you lost one

                                            Flim: Oh, shame, that was close

                                            Flam: But looks like you lost

                                            Flim: Give it a new shot next time

                                            Flam: We will be waiting

                                            >well, at least nobody was watching

                                            >Somehow you hear a post-ironic laugh at the bottom of the area

                                            >Well, you can still go to other 4 games


                                            >You go to the shooting game

                                            >Maybe if you can aim at something, you can hit it better

                                            >Anyway, there it is

                                            Flim: Welcome to the shooting range!

                                            Flam: Feeling brave bucko?

                                            Flim: Just for $5 dollars you get 3 shoots

                                            Flam: At least with an aim you can hit something

                                            >These guys can read minds? And weren't they at the darts game?

                                            >Now that you think about it, they were in the tossing rings game too

                                            >This is freaky

                                            "Yeah, whatever. Give me 3"

                                            >You pay the fee, and they give you a fake rifle with 3 corks

                                            Flam: Now no backing down

                                            Flim: Aim, shoot, and win a price

                                            >You read the rules next to the game

                                            >The closer targets are 3 points, the middle 5, and the far ones are 10

                                            >You can get a small prize with 9 to 12, a medium with 12 to 15, and a big one from 16 to 25. If you get 30, you get a special prize


                                            "Ok, just imagine you are playing dodgeball..."

                                            >you take aim, breath..... And shoot!

                                            >*ping!* *ping!* *ping!*

                                            >You hit three close targets

                                            Flim: Well, look at that!

                                            Flam: Not bad for a casual FPS gamer

                                            Flim: Get some training, and maybe you get a better prize

                                            Flam: Congratulations! Here you go

                                            >they give you a small pony plushie. Hooray


                                            >Alright, while you are carrying a small pony toy, you feel very macho

                                            >you go to the strenght test, and talk with the guy

                                            >Bulk biceps is there!

                                            "Bulk? I though you were working on that fruit punch stand at the mall"

                                            >"Yeah, well, I couldn't mix up so well, but the amusement park was hiring, so I got hitched here"

                                            >He gives you a hammer

                                            >"Want to try? $5 dollars for a hit. If you touch the bell, you get a prize"

                                            "Deal"

                                            >you pay up, and grab the hammer with your two hands

                                            "Here goes nothing..."


                                            >you grab the very heavy hammer with one hand with ease

                                            >You focus all your strenght in this hit. You feel this is the perfect one

                                            >You open your eyes, and run back to get some air

                                            >You jump to a pole, bounce, and hit the target

                                            >*PUM!*

                                            >the bell goes all the way up quickly, and breaks, flying away

                                            >*THHHIIIiiinnnnngggg.....*

                                            >Everybody are amazed by your strenght

                                            "Hey bulk, you need to caliber your game a bit better"

                                            >"H-how did you...."

                                            "By eating my greens and drinking lots of water during training. Now, my prize"

                                            >He gives you a small golden trophy: is a golden small dumbell on top of a pedestal. It reads "the strongest!"

                                            >you still have time for other 2 games


                                            >After showing off your macho strenght, you go to the tilt'n'whirl

                                            >The game stops, and you get strapped to go a few laps

                                            >The game starts, and the machine goes up and down as it spins

                                            >The speed increases, and you hold with all your strenght as the velocity is fighting your body

                                            >This is what astronauts probably feel

                                            >"Ugh..."

                                            "Hey dude, are you-"

                                            >"BLOOORRGGG!!!!"

                                            >The vomit hits you right at your face!

                                            "Ah, fuck man! You hurwl all over!"

                                            >"Ogg"

                                            >the man behind you couldn't last neither, and vomits behind your head

                                            "HHHEEEELLLLPPPP!!!"

                                            >Your head can't hold it anymore, and you throw up

                                            >Your vomit went to the center, where it broke into pieces, and everyone got hit

                                            >The wheel was turn into a vomit-a-ton

                                            >During the gross event, your zoo pin flies away to the center, clogging the game

                                            >You fly away comically into the supply area, and land on boxes

                                            >Your body got a few stickers and pins. You even recovered your "I petted a lamb" pin

                                            >Walking dizzy, you hit a water barrel, washing you up, but the gross feeling lingers on

                                            >You find another barrel, and let it out. You drop sitting right there

                                            >A time later, a guy founds you

                                            >"Hey hobo, go away. Only authorized personnel"

                                            >He takes you out of the area, and takes the barrel where you hurl

                                            >"Hey dude, where's this thing go?"

                                            >"In the candy apple supply. It's the caramel"

                                            >"Ok, got it"

                                            >You think you won't have any candy apple now

                                            >Well, at least you feel better

                                            >Only one attraction left


                                            >You go back to the carnival games, and find the coin pusher

                                            >Whoa! You came in a very good moment, it's really full

                                            >You go and put a coin

                                            >That coin was the last push. The resistance is trembling

                                            >The sweeper pushes, and a lot of coins fall

                                            >*Ting! Ting! Ting! Ting!*

                                            >You grab all the money it fell off: around $50 bucks. Nice!

                                            >*Tuuu* "Last call to the parade! Please come to the main street!"

                                            >Ok, it's time for the main show


                                            >In the crowd, you get ready to see the show

                                            >"Why, hello pleb"

                                            "Oh, hi Scott. How was your day with my cus?"

                                            >"Lethal. She may know about underground mangakas, but her sexual fetishes are bothering, even for the likes of me"

                                            "I see, I own you one. DOOM tomorrow? The original one"

                                            >"Acceptable. I choose the music"

                                            "Fine by me"

                                            >>"Onnichan!"

                                            "Hey Chloe, had fun today?"

                                            >"Yup! Scott is a very nice senpai"

                                            >Scott shudders a bit

                                            "Well, have fun you two. Oh! I almost forgot, don't eat the apples"

                                            >"why not?"

                                            "Because a guy-"

                                            >The lights turn up, and the music starts. The rainbooms are playing on the parade ride

                                            >Or whoever they are. They look like holograms.

                                            >They play a whack tune, and the girl in front is singing a shitty song off-key

                                            "Boo!"

                                            >"Boo!"

                                            >The crowd starts to jeer

                                            >You can barely hear, but see her taking her phone out

                                            >before she takes a picture from you and the crowd, the Rainbooms stop her

                                            >Wait, so is she evil?

                                            >The girl transform and the aryan beauty attacks the girl with a lightning whip

                                            >You don't know what is going on, but you cheer with the crowd

                                            >After that, the real Rainbooms play a cool song, and it was awesome


                                            Epilogue

                                            >Back at home, you put your prizes and money in order, and go to bed

                                            >Next day, you go and have breakfast

                                            >"Hey champ, enjoying your summer vacas?"

                                            "Sure thing dad. I went to the amusement park yesterday"

                                            >"That's my kid. Had a lot of fun?"

                                            "I earned money in the coin pusher and a trophy for being strong"

                                            >Your mother appears with pancakes

                                            >>"Alright. Good to see you had fun. Here"

                                            >Your dad turns on the radio while everyone enjoys pancakes

                                            R: ".... And the show starts tomorrow. In other news, the amusement park will close temporally. The park suffered a strange sickness. Reports say it was because something contaminated the syrup for the candy apples. We will cover more of this after these commercials"

                                            >"Son, do you know something about this?"

                                            "Nah"