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[SFW] NN - Norman at Equestria Land

By GreenReaper
Created: 4th December 2020 02:10:13 AM

  1. >Be Normal Norman
  2. >After crazy days at school, the vacations finally put a stop to the suffering
  3. >Nobody is calling you racist, nobody is playing pranks on you
  4. >And you give Chloe your friend Scott to be at peace with no hipster bullshit
  5. >It's an only you day!
  6. >And what better way to spend the day than the new amusement park, Equestria Land!
  7. >You bought a full service ticket, so you can go to any attraction you want
  8.  
  9. >Entering the amusement park filled you with that silly childhood nostalgia
  10. >The games, the laughs
  11. >And the high quantities of sugar in any food you eat
  12. >Cotton candy, popcorn, candy apples, cookies, sweets, lollipops
  13. >You run to the food area, and buy one of everything
  14. >Sitting in one bench, you go full madness on anything that lands on your mouth
  15. >If cavities and diabetes were the punishement for this glorious moment, it was well worth it
  16. >A while later, maybe you are having seconds thoughs
  17. >Sickness and dentist are easy to go by, but God, bellyache is cruel
  18. >"Corndogs! Churros! Hotdogs! Sodas!"
  19. >Well, another bite won't hurt
  20. "Hey man, one corndog please"
  21. >"That'll be $3.50"
  22. >You pay the good man, and eat the corndog
  23. >*Gruooooo!*
  24. "Oh man, that was a mistake..."
  25. >You run to the port-o-potties, but there's a long line
  26. "Oh man..."
  27.  
  28. >You make a desperate run to the water ride
  29. >The log ride is full of wet people laughing like mad men
  30. >The ride is simple but effective: a few quick turns, a slow rise up, and one big fall
  31. >But you aren't here because of the game
  32. >You run all the way behind the attraction, and in one very well hidden area, you undo your pants and squat
  33. >Your ears were perking up, waiting for the ultimate sound: the splash made by the log falling
  34. >Time doesn't help, your stomach is burning and hurting more
  35. >When you though everyone was going to hear you crap, a loud splash shakes the place
  36. "AAAAAHHHHHHH!"
  37. >You scream as loud as you can so you can blend in with the other ones, and a loud fart followed by a big shit leaves your body
  38. >You enjoy the calming sensation of an empty belly after taking a big smelly shit for a few seconds, and clean up
  39. >Well, service is going to take a while before coming here
  40. >You are back at the entrance of the log ride, thinking what to do now
  41.  
  42. >Well, you feel really chill after taking a shit in a place that was probably more clean that the portable bathrooms
  43. >Walking around, there's the games for kids, like a mini-zoo and a small rollercoaster
  44. >Flutters and Rainbow are there
  45. >You choose to walk back before they see you. You don't need magic crazy girl shit today, only fun
  46. >Walking around, the relaxing area is nothing special. But something was weird. AJ was there only sitting a bench
  47. >You keep walking, and you see Tim with that nerdy little boy getting a candy apple. Adam is working there
  48. >Now that you think about it, you have been seeing Tim a lot with that nerdy kid everytime he gets away from Nolan.
  49. >And that kid gave him that new jog sweater
  50. >"Tim, look! Let's go there!"
  51. >he points to that giant octopus carousel
  52. >"Ok, ok. We are going"
  53. >They go to that game
  54. >A walk later, you find the carnival games
  55. >you stop right there
  56. >Sunset and human purple are in front of the bottle game
  57. >"This game is rigged!"
  58. >sunset walks away while throwing a ring, and lands it on the bottle
  59. >"Yes! Come one, come all! Everyone's a winner!"
  60. >Well, it's not the only game there. There are a lot of other carnival games
  61.  
  62. >After a bit of pondering, the mini-zoo it is
  63. >A small walk back, you enjoy yourself with the little farm animals
  64. >Funny, this place would look like yellow's place instead of the rollercoaster
  65. >Whatever, you saw her with Dash. She probably didn't had a choice
  66. >she wouldn't have a choice with you neither to deal with the equestrian bullshit, but I guess you are too nice so you wouldn't tell her no
  67. >Whatever, petting time
  68. >A small sheep comes to you
  69. "Aww"
  70. >A smaller cute sheep goes closer too
  71. "Awwwww"
  72. >You look at a cuter little lamb at the side
  73. "Awwwwwwwww!"
  74. >The big sheep comes to your sight
  75. "Get off you!"
  76. >You shove the sheep away, and look at the little lamb
  77. >A few pets later, you leave the zoo with an "I petted a lamb" pin
  78.  
  79. >"Bah!"
  80. >A loud sheep scream comes behind you
  81. >The sheep you shoo away is there, looking angry at you
  82. >"Bah!"
  83. "Oh shit!"
  84. >The sheep starts to chase you, and you run away
  85. >All the park is watching a young adult boy being scared by a small sheep
  86. >You run to the food court, and throw anything to stop it
  87. >Bagels, apples, cotton candy
  88. >The sheep shrugged off most of the sweets, some sticking in his wool
  89. >You keep runing until you pass the park again
  90. >You see a hive of bees, and in a cartoony way, you throw it to the sheep
  91. >"BAAAAAAHHH!!!!"
  92. >The bees get stuck in the sweet wool and attack the sheep, and she keeps running until it falls in the park fountain
  93. >Animal control arrives, and take the sheep away
  94. >Whoo, oh man that was close
  95. >Well, you guess you can't check the zoo now. May as well go to other place
  96. >A speakerphone goes on
  97. >"Attention visitors. The rainbooms are going to sing in today's parade! Please be ready!"
  98. >You check your watch
  99. >You can go to five attraction games before the parade
  100.  
  101. >After a crazy sheep chase, you need to unwind
  102. >You go to the carnival games area, and go to the shooting dart game
  103. Flim: Welcome to the darts game
  104. Flam: Just $10 bucks a play
  105. Flim: Rules are simple
  106. Flam: $1 for big ones, $3 for medium, and $5 for smaller ones
  107. Flim: You only have 5 shots
  108. Flam: Now don't go and make this a bust
  109. >They give you five darts
  110. >You aim, shake your hand a bit, and throw the darts
  111. >*pop!* *pop!* *pop!*
  112. >Well, that was a close one
  113. >you almost recover what you paid for
  114. >You missed one, two popped big ballons, and you threw two darts at the same time, but they only hitted one of the small ones
  115. >$9 back, you lost one
  116. Flim: Oh, shame, that was close
  117. Flam: But looks like you lost
  118. Flim: Give it a new shot next time
  119. Flam: We will be waiting
  120. >well, at least nobody was watching
  121. >Somehow you hear a post-ironic laugh at the bottom of the area
  122. >Well, you can still go to other 4 games
  123.  
  124. >You go to the shooting game
  125. >Maybe if you can aim at something, you can hit it better
  126. >Anyway, there it is
  127. Flim: Welcome to the shooting range!
  128. Flam: Feeling brave bucko?
  129. Flim: Just for $5 dollars you get 3 shoots
  130. Flam: At least with an aim you can hit something
  131. >These guys can read minds? And weren't they at the darts game?
  132. >Now that you think about it, they were in the tossing rings game too
  133. >This is freaky
  134. "Yeah, whatever. Give me 3"
  135. >You pay the fee, and they give you a fake rifle with 3 corks
  136. Flam: Now no backing down
  137. Flim: Aim, shoot, and win a price
  138. >You read the rules next to the game
  139. >The closer targets are 3 points, the middle 5, and the far ones are 10
  140. >You can get a small prize with 9 to 12, a medium with 12 to 15, and a big one from 16 to 25. If you get 30, you get a special prize
  141.  
  142. "Ok, just imagine you are playing dodgeball..."
  143. >you take aim, breath..... And shoot!
  144. >*ping!* *ping!* *ping!*
  145. >You hit three close targets
  146. Flim: Well, look at that!
  147. Flam: Not bad for a casual FPS gamer
  148. Flim: Get some training, and maybe you get a better prize
  149. Flam: Congratulations! Here you go
  150. >they give you a small pony plushie. Hooray
  151.  
  152. >Alright, while you are carrying a small pony toy, you feel very macho
  153. >you go to the strenght test, and talk with the guy
  154. >Bulk biceps is there!
  155. "Bulk? I though you were working on that fruit punch stand at the mall"
  156. >"Yeah, well, I couldn't mix up so well, but the amusement park was hiring, so I got hitched here"
  157. >He gives you a hammer
  158. >"Want to try? $5 dollars for a hit. If you touch the bell, you get a prize"
  159. "Deal"
  160. >you pay up, and grab the hammer with your two hands
  161. "Here goes nothing..."
  162.  
  163. >you grab the very heavy hammer with one hand with ease
  164. >You focus all your strenght in this hit. You feel this is the perfect one
  165. >You open your eyes, and run back to get some air
  166. >You jump to a pole, bounce, and hit the target
  167. >*PUM!*
  168. >the bell goes all the way up quickly, and breaks, flying away
  169. >*THHHIIIiiinnnnngggg.....*
  170. >Everybody are amazed by your strenght
  171. "Hey bulk, you need to caliber your game a bit better"
  172. >"H-how did you...."
  173. "By eating my greens and drinking lots of water during training. Now, my prize"
  174. >He gives you a small golden trophy: is a golden small dumbell on top of a pedestal. It reads "the strongest!"
  175. >you still have time for other 2 games
  176.  
  177. >After showing off your macho strenght, you go to the tilt'n'whirl
  178. >The game stops, and you get strapped to go a few laps
  179. >The game starts, and the machine goes up and down as it spins
  180. >The speed increases, and you hold with all your strenght as the velocity is fighting your body
  181. >This is what astronauts probably feel
  182. >"Ugh..."
  183. "Hey dude, are you-"
  184. >"BLOOORRGGG!!!!"
  185. >The vomit hits you right at your face!
  186. "Ah, fuck man! You hurwl all over!"
  187. >"Ogg"
  188. >the man behind you couldn't last neither, and vomits behind your head
  189. "HHHEEEELLLLPPPP!!!"
  190. >Your head can't hold it anymore, and you throw up
  191. >Your vomit went to the center, where it broke into pieces, and everyone got hit
  192. >The wheel was turn into a vomit-a-ton
  193. >During the gross event, your zoo pin flies away to the center, clogging the game
  194. >You fly away comically into the supply area, and land on boxes
  195. >Your body got a few stickers and pins. You even recovered your "I petted a lamb" pin
  196. >Walking dizzy, you hit a water barrel, washing you up, but the gross feeling lingers on
  197. >You find another barrel, and let it out. You drop sitting right there
  198. >A time later, a guy founds you
  199. >"Hey hobo, go away. Only authorized personnel"
  200. >He takes you out of the area, and takes the barrel where you hurl
  201. >"Hey dude, where's this thing go?"
  202. >"In the candy apple supply. It's the caramel"
  203. >"Ok, got it"
  204. >You think you won't have any candy apple now
  205. >Well, at least you feel better
  206. >Only one attraction left
  207.  
  208. >You go back to the carnival games, and find the coin pusher
  209. >Whoa! You came in a very good moment, it's really full
  210. >You go and put a coin
  211. >That coin was the last push. The resistance is trembling
  212. >The sweeper pushes, and a lot of coins fall
  213. >*Ting! Ting! Ting! Ting!*
  214. >You grab all the money it fell off: around $50 bucks. Nice!
  215. >*Tuuu* "Last call to the parade! Please come to the main street!"
  216. >Ok, it's time for the main show
  217.  
  218. >In the crowd, you get ready to see the show
  219. >"Why, hello pleb"
  220. "Oh, hi Scott. How was your day with my cus?"
  221. >"Lethal. She may know about underground mangakas, but her sexual fetishes are bothering, even for the likes of me"
  222. "I see, I own you one. DOOM tomorrow? The original one"
  223. >"Acceptable. I choose the music"
  224. "Fine by me"
  225. >>"Onnichan!"
  226. "Hey Chloe, had fun today?"
  227. >"Yup! Scott is a very nice senpai"
  228. >Scott shudders a bit
  229. "Well, have fun you two. Oh! I almost forgot, don't eat the apples"
  230. >"why not?"
  231. "Because a guy-"
  232. >The lights turn up, and the music starts. The rainbooms are playing on the parade ride
  233. >Or whoever they are. They look like holograms.
  234. >They play a whack tune, and the girl in front is singing a shitty song off-key
  235. "Boo!"
  236. >"Boo!"
  237. >The crowd starts to jeer
  238. >You can barely hear, but see her taking her phone out
  239. >before she takes a picture from you and the crowd, the Rainbooms stop her
  240. >Wait, so is she evil?
  241. >The girl transform and the aryan beauty attacks the girl with a lightning whip
  242. >You don't know what is going on, but you cheer with the crowd
  243. >After that, the real Rainbooms play a cool song, and it was awesome
  244.  
  245. Epilogue
  246. >Back at home, you put your prizes and money in order, and go to bed
  247. >Next day, you go and have breakfast
  248. >"Hey champ, enjoying your summer vacas?"
  249. "Sure thing dad. I went to the amusement park yesterday"
  250. >"That's my kid. Had a lot of fun?"
  251. "I earned money in the coin pusher and a trophy for being strong"
  252. >Your mother appears with pancakes
  253. >>"Alright. Good to see you had fun. Here"
  254. >Your dad turns on the radio while everyone enjoys pancakes
  255. R: ".... And the show starts tomorrow. In other news, the amusement park will close temporally. The park suffered a strange sickness. Reports say it was because something contaminated the syrup for the candy apples. We will cover more of this after these commercials"
  256. >"Son, do you know something about this?"
  257. "Nah"
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