[SFW] NN - Norman at Equestria Land

>Be Normal Norman
>After crazy days at school, the vacations finally put a stop to the suffering
>Nobody is calling you racist, nobody is playing pranks on you
>And you give Chloe your friend Scott to be at peace with no hipster bullshit
>It's an only you day!
>And what better way to spend the day than the new amusement park, Equestria Land!
>You bought a full service ticket, so you can go to any attraction you want

>Entering the amusement park filled you with that silly childhood nostalgia
>The games, the laughs
>And the high quantities of sugar in any food you eat
>Cotton candy, popcorn, candy apples, cookies, sweets, lollipops
>You run to the food area, and buy one of everything
>Sitting in one bench, you go full madness on anything that lands on your mouth
>If cavities and diabetes were the punishement for this glorious moment, it was well worth it
>A while later, maybe you are having seconds thoughs
>Sickness and dentist are easy to go by, but God, bellyache is cruel
>"Corndogs! Churros! Hotdogs! Sodas!"
>Well, another bite won't hurt
"Hey man, one corndog please"
>"That'll be $3.50"
>You pay the good man, and eat the corndog
>*Gruooooo!*
"Oh man, that was a mistake..."
>You run to the port-o-potties, but there's a long line
"Oh man..."

>You make a desperate run to the water ride
>The log ride is full of wet people laughing like mad men
>The ride is simple but effective: a few quick turns, a slow rise up, and one big fall
>But you aren't here because of the game
>You run all the way behind the attraction, and in one very well hidden area, you undo your pants and squat
>Your ears were perking up, waiting for the ultimate sound: the splash made by the log falling
>Time doesn't help, your stomach is burning and hurting more
>When you though everyone was going to hear you crap, a loud splash shakes the place
"AAAAAHHHHHHH!"
>You scream as loud as you can so you can blend in with the other ones, and a loud fart followed by a big shit leaves your body
>You enjoy the calming sensation of an empty belly after taking a big smelly shit for a few seconds, and clean up
>Well, service is going to take a while before coming here
>You are back at the entrance of the log ride, thinking what to do now

>Well, you feel really chill after taking a shit in a place that was probably more clean that the portable bathrooms
>Walking around, there's the games for kids, like a mini-zoo and a small rollercoaster
>Flutters and Rainbow are there
>You choose to walk back before they see you. You don't need magic crazy girl shit today, only fun
>Walking around, the relaxing area is nothing special. But something was weird. AJ was there only sitting a bench
>You keep walking, and you see Tim with that nerdy little boy getting a candy apple. Adam is working there
>Now that you think about it, you have been seeing Tim a lot with that nerdy kid everytime he gets away from Nolan.
>And that kid gave him that new jog sweater
>"Tim, look! Let's go there!"
>he points to that giant octopus carousel
>"Ok, ok. We are going"
>They go to that game
>A walk later, you find the carnival games
>you stop right there
>Sunset and human purple are in front of the bottle game
>"This game is rigged!"
>sunset walks away while throwing a ring, and lands it on the bottle
>"Yes! Come one, come all! Everyone's a winner!"
>Well, it's not the only game there. There are a lot of other carnival games

>After a bit of pondering, the mini-zoo it is
>A small walk back, you enjoy yourself with the little farm animals
>Funny, this place would look like yellow's place instead of the rollercoaster
>Whatever, you saw her with Dash. She probably didn't had a choice
>she wouldn't have a choice with you neither to deal with the equestrian bullshit, but I guess you are too nice so you wouldn't tell her no
>Whatever, petting time
>A small sheep comes to you
"Aww"
>A smaller cute sheep goes closer too
"Awwwww"
>You look at a cuter little lamb at the side
"Awwwwwwwww!"
>The big sheep comes to your sight
"Get off you!"
>You shove the sheep away, and look at the little lamb
"Awww..."
>A few pets later, you leave the zoo with an "I petted a lamb" pin

>"Bah!"
>A loud sheep scream comes behind you
>The sheep you shoo away is there, looking angry at you
>"Bah!"
"Oh shit!"
>The sheep starts to chase you, and you run away
>All the park is watching a young adult boy being scared by a small sheep
>You run to the food court, and throw anything to stop it
>Bagels, apples, cotton candy
>The sheep shrugged off most of the sweets, some sticking in his wool
>You keep runing until you pass the park again
>You see a hive of bees, and in a cartoony way, you throw it to the sheep
>"BAAAAAAHHH!!!!"
>The bees get stuck in the sweet wool and attack the sheep, and she keeps running until it falls in the park fountain
>Animal control arrives, and take the sheep away
>Whoo, oh man that was close
>Well, you guess you can't check the zoo now. May as well go to other place
>A speakerphone goes on
>"Attention visitors. The rainbooms are going to sing in today's parade! Please be ready!"
>You check your watch
>You can go to five attraction games before the parade

>After a crazy sheep chase, you need to unwind
>You go to the carnival games area, and go to the shooting dart game
Flim: Welcome to the darts game
Flam: Just $10 bucks a play
Flim: Rules are simple
Flam: $1 for big ones, $3 for medium, and $5 for smaller ones
Flim: You only have 5 shots
Flam: Now don't go and make this a bust
>They give you five darts
>You aim, shake your hand a bit, and throw the darts
>*pop!* *pop!* *pop!*
>Well, that was a close one
>you almost recover what you paid for
>You missed one, two popped big ballons, and you threw two darts at the same time, but they only hitted one of the small ones
>$9 back, you lost one
Flim: Oh, shame, that was close
Flam: But looks like you lost
Flim: Give it a new shot next time
Flam: We will be waiting
>well, at least nobody was watching
>Somehow you hear a post-ironic laugh at the bottom of the area
>Well, you can still go to other 4 games

>You go to the shooting game
>Maybe if you can aim at something, you can hit it better
>Anyway, there it is
Flim: Welcome to the shooting range!
Flam: Feeling brave bucko?
Flim: Just for $5 dollars you get 3 shoots
Flam: At least with an aim you can hit something
>These guys can read minds? And weren't they at the darts game?
>Now that you think about it, they were in the tossing rings game too
>This is freaky
"Yeah, whatever. Give me 3"
>You pay the fee, and they give you a fake rifle with 3 corks
Flam: Now no backing down
Flim: Aim, shoot, and win a price
>You read the rules next to the game
>The closer targets are 3 points, the middle 5, and the far ones are 10
>You can get a small prize with 9 to 12, a medium with 12 to 15, and a big one from 16 to 25. If you get 30, you get a special prize

"Ok, just imagine you are playing dodgeball..."
>you take aim, breath..... And shoot!
>*ping!* *ping!* *ping!*
>You hit three close targets
Flim: Well, look at that!
Flam: Not bad for a casual FPS gamer
Flim: Get some training, and maybe you get a better prize
Flam: Congratulations! Here you go
>they give you a small pony plushie. Hooray

>Alright, while you are carrying a small pony toy, you feel very macho
>you go to the strenght test, and talk with the guy
>Bulk biceps is there!
"Bulk? I though you were working on that fruit punch stand at the mall"
>"Yeah, well, I couldn't mix up so well, but the amusement park was hiring, so I got hitched here"
>He gives you a hammer
>"Want to try? $5 dollars for a hit. If you touch the bell, you get a prize"
"Deal"
>you pay up, and grab the hammer with your two hands
"Here goes nothing..."

>you grab the very heavy hammer with one hand with ease
>You focus all your strenght in this hit. You feel this is the perfect one
>You open your eyes, and run back to get some air
>You jump to a pole, bounce, and hit the target
>*PUM!*
>the bell goes all the way up quickly, and breaks, flying away
>*THHHIIIiiinnnnngggg.....*
>Everybody are amazed by your strenght
"Hey bulk, you need to caliber your game a bit better"
>"H-how did you...."
"By eating my greens and drinking lots of water during training. Now, my prize"
>He gives you a small golden trophy: is a golden small dumbell on top of a pedestal. It reads "the strongest!"
>you still have time for other 2 games

>After showing off your macho strenght, you go to the tilt'n'whirl
>The game stops, and you get strapped to go a few laps
>The game starts, and the machine goes up and down as it spins
>The speed increases, and you hold with all your strenght as the velocity is fighting your body
>This is what astronauts probably feel
>"Ugh..."
"Hey dude, are you-"
>"BLOOORRGGG!!!!"
>The vomit hits you right at your face!
"Ah, fuck man! You hurwl all over!"
>"Ogg"
>the man behind you couldn't last neither, and vomits behind your head
"HHHEEEELLLLPPPP!!!"
>Your head can't hold it anymore, and you throw up
>Your vomit went to the center, where it broke into pieces, and everyone got hit
>The wheel was turn into a vomit-a-ton
>During the gross event, your zoo pin flies away to the center, clogging the game
>You fly away comically into the supply area, and land on boxes
>Your body got a few stickers and pins. You even recovered your "I petted a lamb" pin
>Walking dizzy, you hit a water barrel, washing you up, but the gross feeling lingers on
>You find another barrel, and let it out. You drop sitting right there
>A time later, a guy founds you
>"Hey hobo, go away. Only authorized personnel"
>He takes you out of the area, and takes the barrel where you hurl
>"Hey dude, where's this thing go?"
>"In the candy apple supply. It's the caramel"
>"Ok, got it"
>You think you won't have any candy apple now
>Well, at least you feel better
>Only one attraction left

>You go back to the carnival games, and find the coin pusher
>Whoa! You came in a very good moment, it's really full
>You go and put a coin
>That coin was the last push. The resistance is trembling
>The sweeper pushes, and a lot of coins fall
>*Ting! Ting! Ting! Ting!*
>You grab all the money it fell off: around $50 bucks. Nice!
>*Tuuu* "Last call to the parade! Please come to the main street!"
>Ok, it's time for the main show

>In the crowd, you get ready to see the show
>"Why, hello pleb"
"Oh, hi Scott. How was your day with my cus?"
>"Lethal. She may know about underground mangakas, but her sexual fetishes are bothering, even for the likes of me"
"I see, I own you one. DOOM tomorrow? The original one"
>"Acceptable. I choose the music"
"Fine by me"
>>"Onnichan!"
"Hey Chloe, had fun today?"
>"Yup! Scott is a very nice senpai"
>Scott shudders a bit
"Well, have fun you two. Oh! I almost forgot, don't eat the apples"
>"why not?"
"Because a guy-"
>The lights turn up, and the music starts. The rainbooms are playing on the parade ride
>Or whoever they are. They look like holograms.
>They play a whack tune, and the girl in front is singing a shitty song off-key
"Boo!"
>"Boo!"
>The crowd starts to jeer
>You can barely hear, but see her taking her phone out
>before she takes a picture from you and the crowd, the Rainbooms stop her
>Wait, so is she evil?
>The girl transform and the aryan beauty attacks the girl with a lightning whip
>You don't know what is going on, but you cheer with the crowd
>After that, the real Rainbooms play a cool song, and it was awesome

Epilogue
>Back at home, you put your prizes and money in order, and go to bed
>Next day, you go and have breakfast
>"Hey champ, enjoying your summer vacas?"
"Sure thing dad. I went to the amusement park yesterday"
>"That's my kid. Had a lot of fun?"
"I earned money in the coin pusher and a trophy for being strong"
>Your mother appears with pancakes
>>"Alright. Good to see you had fun. Here"
>Your dad turns on the radio while everyone enjoys pancakes
R: ".... And the show starts tomorrow. In other news, the amusement park will close temporally. The park suffered a strange sickness. Reports say it was because something contaminated the syrup for the candy apples. We will cover more of this after these commercials"
>"Son, do you know something about this?"
"Nah"