Derp at your Door


                                            >You are Anon in your house

                                            >What a lovely day it is outside

                                            >Just like on Erf you ignore that au natural to stay cooped inside doing little

                                            >Upon hearing a knock at the door, dread fills your core. Company oh no.

                                            >Rushing to the mirror you fix your bedwrangled hair and correct your shirt that was inside out.

                                            >With as much confidence as a shut in has you stride with cautio n to the offending noise maker.

                                            >Looking through peephole presents the picture of our favorite mailmare sitting on the doorstop with an envelope in her mouth. She starts to stand up, obviously you took to long, and begins a sad skulk away.

                                            >Well time to save the situation. You wrench the door open making a deep creaking sound. Need to oil the hinges.

                                            Hey Derpy whats up?

                                            >From her skulking goes to a stop. Her wings lightly flutter her around and forward to face you previous to where she had once been.

                                            >"Um Huft diph fer uu"

                                            >Her non centered eyes light up as you grasp the envelope out of her mouthy grasp.

                                            >The envelope has a few hearts on it. You hope this is not an eviction notice from your landpony. That mare is one gruff overweight ball of moneygrubbiness.

                                            >Terror fills you. Grasping the envelope with shaky hands , you tear the edge and retrieve a letter from its purchase.

                                            >-A bakery smell wafts from the letter and the contents read.

                                            >Roses are red muffins are right wont you be my..quite a few words are scratched out part of my life, date for tonight, teat turner, coltfriendu... you. If you were in a pile of muffins I would eat you first. If I were a muffin tin I would want you batter to make muffins before being thrown in an oven. Do you like me.

                                            >There are two boxes one say yes the other says no with a frowny face. You dont have a pen on you.

                                            >Peering from the letter from Derpy she wears a nervous smile. Sweat droplets can be seen on the sides of her face dripping down to her tuft.


                                            >What to do here? Use a little bit of class to tell her an answer.

                                            >You hand the letter back to Derpy with a smile on your face. Her hoof comes up to take it. Being the classy gentlemen in full view of your neighbors that are staring, you drop the letter when it is about in her hoof and plant your hand onto her hoof giving it a good warm hold.

                                            >Derpy's face beams a bright red, her breathing hitches. She covers her face with her wings.

                                            >The neighbors shake their heads, one calls you an animal.

                                            >This isn't right oooh the horror the horror.

                                            "Derpy I am sorry here let me fix this"

                                            >The plush wings of hers slowly lower , her eyes nearly fix forward glistening with moistness.

                                            >Bending down you retain your hoof hold with her right and snatch her left hoof into a hold as well.

                                            >Derpy's wings shoot out stiff to her sides. She displays a shocked "O" face, with her fur not only on her face but now her neck and ears beaming red. Her breathing is ragged .

                                            >The neighbors are going nuts. Chunky Stunk is kicking dirt in his garden, Sour Shapes is covering her Foal's eyes and telling them not look, Yellow Belly runs hollering to the Solar Guard.

                                            >Scooping up the shocked Derpy you carry her into your house shutting the door with a kick behind you.


                                            >striding inside with Derpy in your arms you see something is amiss.

                                            >This is Derpys house. She is still beet red. Oh no she must be sick. Seeing her couch i the corner you gently place her upon it. On top of the couch is a blanket, shes sick, so you wrap her up in it.

                                            >Going to her kitchen , a glass of water is fetched along with some OJ. You put those by her couchside and look hrough her pantry. What do you feed a sickpony. Cant feed her chicken noddle she isnt a batpony, hmm what about this cheesy vegetable noodle...sure why not.

                                            >Hey Derps I'm a make you something for that cold.

                                            >A good while and many spices later you put her meal in a bowl, bringing over to her.

                                            >But what is this she is asleep and smiling. Cant disturb that so you place the bowl by the empty juice glass. Oh she must still be cold because she looks like she is shivering, and those must sick moans.

                                            >Deciding you need to stop this cold dead in its tracks the old fashioned way. Crawling over her into a spooning position, your arms wrap around her holding her tight against you.

                                            >Derpys shivering stops. She rolls onto her back looking up at you , her face still remained beet red.

                                            "Hey I made you lunch, but you must be feeling weak how about I help feed you"

                                            >Derpy gives a weak nod. You lean over to grab the bowl, the next few minutes begins with a nervous Derpy taking a few bites to a ravenous pony devouring the bowls contents muzzle first.

                                            >"Thanks Anon and wow I am feeling better"

                                            >Hmm is that the case? Placing a hand upon her forehead reveals she is really warm, and your hand now upon her belly feels really warm as well.

                                            >A slow tummy rub has begun and the red color returns to her face. Is that a little bit of cheese sauce stuck to her nose? You lean over and lick it off. Oh no she is bright red again.

                                            >In your shock at this you rubbed a little low. Two goods sized mounds are brushed over by your hands, her wings shoot out of the blanket and into your side. Derpy looks at you with her eye lids lowering.

                                            >She raises her snootle up to your face , forehooves latching onto the side of your head and kissing you on the lips.


                                            >Be Derpy currently lip locked with your favorite stall-anon

                                            >How did this start

                                            >Today you wanted to show Anon you liked him and spent a lot of time on that letter.

                                            >After you gave it to him and you were extremely nervous about it, he practically told you that he wanted to be your special somepony at first. And then and then when he grabbed both of your hooves oooh you need to write mom about that. You didn't know he felt so strongly about you. Wanting to rut you in front of everyone to make foals.

                                            >Ooh and then he brings you inside your house. Makes sure you are comfortable and delivers you dinner while cuddling you. It was the perfect demonstration of being a house stallion.

                                            >Your tummy felt like it was full of muffins.

                                            >And then he makes the move that he wants to breed. Oh who are you to deny him. Your future husb-anon deserves this.

                                            >And maybe in a few years you can come home from the post office, he meets you at the door with a kiss, your foals come up to hug you, and you share a great dinner with your family. Later on you play with this kids and tuck them in, and cuddle with Anon the rest of the night.

                                            >Ohh you could have your parents meet your foals and tell them how proud of you they are during Hearths warming eve as you are all together.

                                            >Tears of happiness stream down your face as you do your darnedest to show Anon you are together forever.