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Anon in Saddle Arabia's pony prison, chapter 1

By Wand_of_Inferno
Created: 2022-04-30 02:18:52
Updated: 2022-04-30 05:26:55
Expiry: Never
/kinder/comedyanonymouspone prisonkinder

  1. <So that was the prologue? That was it? I’ve seen better prologues in cartoon stories, but well…
  2. <After the events in the middle of Saddle Arabia, our hero Anonymous was defeated by his pursuers, and don’t ask me how, but one guard got lost in the persecution
  3. <And so the chapter begins with the two guards, finding Anonymous unconscious on the ground
  4. >”Okay, clean the area, we are taking this criminal scum with us”
  5. >”You really wanted to use that line, don’t you Royal Mess?”
  6. >”Shut up, let me be, Tactic Star”
  7. >”Oh man, we are going to need help cleaning all this place, it’s a total mess”
  8. >”Was that a pun with your name?”
  9. >”SO I WAS SAYING, maybe we could take the suspect meanwhile those two clean this place? I mean, I hope they want to”
  10. >Royal Mess looked at the two ponies who were trying to lift the box which was in Anon’s hands
  11. >”You two!”
  12. >The two ponies squeaked and answered
  13. >”Y-yes, guard?”
  14. >”Would you two be so kind as to clean this mess for us? We're going to judge this criminal for his acts, and time is short until he wakes up and tries to escape”
  15. >”S-sure, no problem, right mate?”
  16. >The other pony looked nervous, but answered
  17. >”Yes sir, we are ready to clean sir, we are kind sir, sir sir”
  18. >The other pony whispered to his comrade”
  19. >”Just shut up and leave the speak to me”
  20. >”O-okay”
  21. >Royal Mess interrupted both ponies
  22. >”Fine you two, I’m going to take this criminal with me and his box”
  23. >”BUT THAT’S NOT HIS-“
  24. >”I told you to let them speak to me, …sure! Take that criminal with you and his box, that was sure not ours! His box, not ours!”
  25. >These ponies are so suspicious; the guards can’t be fooled like this, can they?
  26. >”Sure, thanks”
  27. >Never mind…
  28. >”Tactic, lift that criminal, we are going to take this creature to justice!”
  29. >Using his magic, Tactic Star lifted Anonymous, gently putting him in a guard cart
  30. >”Wait, we weren’t going to go to the prison? Or well, a judge first, why we are going to justice?”
  31. >Royal Mess face-hoffed
  32. >”Just… let’s go to the judge… and stop being so silly”
  33. >”At least can I make escorting noises? Pretty please, please!
  34. >”Ugh… I never… go on, do whatever you want, just let’s go, we are wasting time”
  35. >”Yes!”
  36. >Tactic Star’s horn shines in blue and red colors, repeating two words
  37. >”WEEE OOHH WEEE OOHH WEEE OOHH WEEE OOHH”
  38. >”I don’t get paid enough for this…”
  39. >And so, Tactic Star was on the cart yelling his best and Royal Mess pulling the cart
  40. >Silly guard noises intensify, IN D MAJOR
  41. “Hnngg…”
  42. >”Oh, so you are awake?”
  43. “Where… what…”
  44. >I’m going to ask you nicely to don’t say any words, everything you say could be and will used against your will!”
  45. “What!?”
  46.  
  47. <Woah, woah, woah, okay hold it, I get this, Anonymous is in trouble and all, but what about those two ponies who were so nervous? They didn’t say a single name!
  48. <Okay, let’s name the first one, hmm… Art Attack! No, wait, that’s a show’s name… Come on, a good name… Little Pip! No, wait, that’s a copyright pony…
  49. <They were using clothes, so their Cutie Marks wouldn’t be visible, hmm…
  50. >…
  51. <Well, I’m not good with this, I guess I’ll name them later, or I’ll ask for someone a name for them
  52. <All right, continue the story!
  53. >…
  54. <Continue the story!
  55. >…
  56. <What? Oh yeah, I have the controller, now where… Oh shit
  57. >…
  58. <I lost the freaking controller, didn’t I? *sigh* I'll just do it manually...
  59.  
  60. >…
  61. <Oh, okay, nobody panic, I found the controller! I was sitting on it. My bad
  62. <Continuing the story!
  63.  
  64. >2 of August, 9:47 a.m., court of Saddle Arabia, room nº2
  65. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=As6NRNCeMRI
  66. >Numerous ponies and camels are sitting murmuring
  67. "Man, what kind of trouble did I get myself into this time...?"
  68. >The judge arrives and smashes his gavel to bring the room to order
  69. >The judge is a big, old yak
  70. >He looks at you, judging you already
  71. >”Good afternoon everyone. The court is now in session for the trial of Mr. Anonymous”
  72. >He takes a pause
  73. >"I'm afraid that we couldn't arrange a prosecution or defense for this occasion, so I'm letting the witnesses decide on Mr. Anonymous's innocence or guilt"
  74. >The public starts murmuring again
  75. “Man this is bullsh-“
  76. >The judge smashes his gavel once again to calm the public
  77. >"Mr. Anonymous, your crimes consist of theft, walking on the grass, verbal abuse, property damage, and flirting with an officer of the law"
  78. "I just said that she looked cute in her uniform! It was just a compliment!"
  79. >The public murmuring intensifies
  80. >”AND DON’T FORGET ABOUT MY LETTUCES!”
  81. >The judge once again smashes his gavel
  82. >”Mr. Anonymous, would you explain to the court the object you were carrying with you the whole time?”
  83. >You look at the public, searching for the two ponies which were holding the box in the first place
  84. >They are not here
  85. > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk8fTFbH248
  86. >'Think of something Anon, or else they will think you're a terrorist and they'll have your head!
  87. >...They probably won't think the drawing inside the box is a real bomb...
  88. >Better play it safe, they seem trusting... Maybe you can tell them that the box is yours and ask them not to open it?
  89. "The box is mine. I was running from two thieves who called the guards on me. I ran away from the guards and things just went downhill from there and now here I am"
  90. >The judge processes the information
  91. >"Hmm, so the box is yours, but that doesn't mean you are innocent. You still committed those other crimes. In fact, I think you broke the record for most crimes committed in one day!"
  92. “Is that… good?”
  93. >"No, not at all. Now let's see what the public has to say about it. Everyone, please write your verdict on a piece of paper"
  94. >Various ponies and camels begin writing on pieces of paper
  95. >No defense, no way to escape, no way to prove your innocence... Seems like your quest has ended. God knows how long you'll be stuck in this place..."
  96. >The judge collects the verdicts from everyone in the courtroom
  97. >”Mr. Anonymous, the public has spoken, and you…”
  98. >…
  99.  
  100. <Waaah, hah, hah, haaah
  101. <I-I’m not crying guys, is just the damn music, can’t we fucking change it to something else? Damn game gives me feels…
  102. > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0PzFUoQH9U
  103. <Sniff… much better, I think…
  104. <Okay, sorry for the sudden interruption, let’s just continue now
  105.  
  106. >”The final verdict is…”
  107. >Dramatic pause for the obvious answer
  108. >.
  109. >..
  110. >…
  111. “Oh just say it already-“
  112. >”GUIIIIIIIIILTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY”
  113. >The powerful voice of the judge stuns you and makes you fall right out of your chair
  114. >”I, judge Truth Justice, sentence the culprit Anonymous to one month in the prison of Saddle Arabia”
  115. >You get back in your chair
  116. “Whoa, just one month?”
  117. >"Does anyone have anything to say?"
  118. "...Can I at least keep my box?"
  119. >Truth Justice seems to think about it
  120. >"If the guards of the prison are okay with it, then I don't see a problem with it. Anything else?"
  121. >Nobody seems to speak
  122. >”Alright, and with that-“
  123. >A pony yells something at the last second
  124. >”I knew we were taking that criminal with Justice, as you said Royal Mess!”
  125. >”Tactic, shut up!”
  126. >”… as I was saying, and with that... The court is adjourned”
  127. >The judge gives a last smash with his gavel
  128.  
  129. <And with the trial finished, our hero Anonymous went to the prison of Saddle Arabia, who knows what adventures he could have there?
  130. <Dropping the soap sure is a good adventure
  131. <The two silly guards who had to escort Anonymous to the prison didn't even use handcuffs on him!
  132.  
  133. >[Silly guard escorting noises in the background]
  134. “You guys aren’t even going to put handcuffs on me?”
  135. >”Why would we?”
  136. “So I can’t escape from you”
  137. >”We don't need to. Besides, we are about to arrive at the prison”
  138. “We haven't traveled very fucking far"
  139. >”Hey! You shouldn't curse, little prisoner"
  140. >You murmur in your seat
  141. “You are not my mom…”
  142. >”What was that?”
  143. “Nothing, guard”
  144. >Tactic stops shouting alarm noises
  145. >”We're here!”
  146. “Finally he stopped yelling…”
  147. >”Tell me about it, I don’t get paid enough to bear with him”
  148. >”Less talk and more escorting, Mess! Stand up, prisoner! The warden should be here any minute"
  149. >You stand and look at the prison
  150. >The huge white building's edges are lined in red, framing the star on the front just above the doors
  151. >Royal Mess approaches Tactic Star
  152. >”Hey Tactic, where the hay is the warden?”
  153. >Tactic starts thinking for a few seconds
  154. >”Must be preparing himself, you know he always makes a show when a new prisoner arrives”
  155. >Royal Mess cringes a bit
  156. >”I hope he’s not wearing the gorilla outfit this time…”
  157. >You gaze over at a nearby field
  158. >You have no idea how these ponies managed to grow grass in the desert
  159. >A prison with a park? Neat
  160. >You take a breath and look back at the prison
  161. >…
  162. "So... this is Saddle Arabia's prison"
  163. >As soon as you say the name of the prison, a pegasus flies up to you with a big signboard
  164. >At the top of the prison, you can almost see a figure of a pony holding a ruler with two hooves
  165. >You read the big red letters on the signboard just as the pony on the roof shouts out what is written on it
  166. >"WELCOME TO SADDLE ARABIA'S PRISON!"
  167. >You glance over at Tactic Star and Royal Mess
  168. >The two guards are clearly enjoying the show
  169. >...Where the hell did they get that popcorn?
  170. >More pegasi fly up to you, each holding signboards like the first
  171. >Each time a new pegasus arrives, the pony on the roof shouts down at you again
  172. >”I AM THE WARDEN, MY NAME IS SHORT FUSE!”
  173. >”THIS IS MY PRISON! EVERY PRISONER HERE IS THE SAME! NO ONE IS DIFFERENT!”
  174. >Short Fuse pauses and the sunrays grow brighter
  175. >“IN THIS PRISON THERE ARE RULES! THE MOST IMPORTANT IS THAT EVERYTHING IS ONE, AND ONE IS EVERYTHING!”
  176. >He takes another pause and whispers to himself
  177. >”Or… was it 'fear is the only freedom'? No… that doesn’t make sense… Umm, it was… 'free salad on Fridays'? No that isn’t it either…”
  178. >You don’t know how to react, so you turn to the two guards for support
  179. “Hey guys, is he alright?”
  180. >Star and Mess just shrug
  181. >Short Fuse shakes his head and starts shouting again
  182. >"OKAY, I FORGOT THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER! WHAT DOES MATTER IS YOU! NEW PRISONER ANONYMOUS!"
  183. >Short Fuse waits expectantly
  184. >”YOU! NEW PRISONER! ANONYMOUS!”
  185. >…
  186. >Is she waiting for something?
  187. >She whispers something to the pegasus next to her
  188. >”Yarn, that’s was your cue!”
  189. >”Oh, sorry ma’am!”
  190. >”I’M A MALE!” Ugh… nevermind just do it!”
  191. >Wait, the warden is a guy?
  192. >The pegasus flies down with another big signboard, except this one is slightly smaller than the others
  193. >You peer at the writing on the sign
  194. >'New prisoner, anonymous'
  195. >The warden tries to step forward dramatically, but accidentally trips and falls off the roof
  196. >Short Fuse squeals effeminately as he falls
  197. >Ponies scream, and you spring into action
  198. >Time slows to a crawl...
  199. >You run, faster than the Road Runner, faster than Speedy Gonzales, to try and save the warden
  200. >”WARDEN, NO!”
  201. >…
  202. >”YARN, HELP ME!”
  203. >…
  204. >”I can’t look…”
  205. >…!
  206. >You dive at the last second, catching the warden
  207. “Got ya!... Phew, that was a close one"
  208. >You look down at the pony in your arms
  209. >Short Fuse is crying and clutching at your chest, his eyes squeezed shut
  210. >"OH THANK YOU! THANK YOU, THANK YOU YARN! I /KNEW/ you would save me in time!"
  211. >Short Fuse wraps his arms around your neck and kisses you on both cheeks
  212. “...No problem, warden”
  213. >Short Fuse stiffens in your arms
  214. >"Yarn?... Why is your voice deeper all of a sudden?..."
  215. >The warden finally opens his eyes, and they go wide as he spots you
  216. >He blushes fiercely, looking away
  217. >"O-Oh, I see... Um... Hi... This is a little..."
  218. “Awkward? Yeah, I know”
  219. >Short Fuse mutters something under his breath
  220. >"Good thing I wasn't aiming for the lips..."
  221. “What was that?”
  222. >”N-NOTHING! NOTHING!”
  223. >Tactic and Royal look at each other
  224. >"Hey Royal, why is our warden so girly sometimes?"
  225. >"I don't know, but I wouldn't mind being in Anonymous's place right now..."
  226. >”What?”
  227. >”What?”
  228. >Short Fuse spots the two lazy guards staring at him
  229. >”You two are dismissed! Thanks for bringing the new prisoner here!”
  230. >The guards respond in unison
  231. >”YES MA-“
  232. >”I’M A STALLION, FOR CELESTIA’S SAKE”
  233. >”YES, SIR!”
  234. >Both of them get back in the guard cart and get back to their business
  235. >"Let's pretend this never happened and start over. Hello, I'm the warden Short Fuse! Nice to meet you, Anonymous"
  236. “Nice to meet-“
  237. >"Don't think for a moment that I like you just because you saved my life! You've still got a full month in here, bad boy!"
  238. “Yeah, whatever, just let’s get this over with”
  239. >You look up and spot the pegasus from earlier
  240. >She's busy collecting the signboards from the failed introduction
  241. “So, who’s the Pegasus?”
  242. >”Oh, she’s Yarn Feather, she’s a prisoner like you, except that she decided to volunteer herself to be my assistant"
  243. “The fall was part of the act?”
  244. >Short Fuse peers over your shoulder at the box behind you
  245. >”Oh, what’s with that box?”
  246. >He totally ignored your question
  247. “Almost forgot about it, can I enter the prison with him?”
  248. >You tilt your head towards the box behind you
  249. >”Why? It’s just a box”
  250. “Just a box? JUST A BOX!? PLEASE TAKE THAT BACK, HE HAS FEELINGS!”
  251. >”I-I’m sorry I didn’t-“
  252. “Pancho? You heard this horse calling you just a box? Are you going to do something or are you going to just sit there doing nothing?”
  253. >…
  254. >The box didn’t say a thing or move
  255. >”Is he…”
  256. “PANCHO, AMIGO! Stop judging yourself! Everyone is different, just forget what that meany pony said and let’s move on…”
  257. >”What Anonymous is saying is true, everyone is different… I’m sorry”
  258. “Don’t say it to me, said it to Pancho”
  259. >”I’m… sorry Pancho, I’m never going to call you that word ever again, and if some inmate or guard says that to you, let me know so I can punish them!”
  260. >…
  261. >Pancho doesn't respond
  262. “Okay, let’s move on then”
  263. >”Isn’t he going to say anything?”
  264. “He’s special, he’ll be okay”
  265. >”If you… say so... Hey, Anonymous?"
  266. "Yes, warden?"
  267. >"As much as I enjoy being held... Could you please put me down now?"
  268. >Neither of you say a word as you put Short Fuse down
  269. >The awkward silence continues long after he leads you and Pancho into the prison
  270.  
  271.  
  272. Be Short Fuse
  273. >Almost everything had gone according to plan
  274. >Signboards? Check.
  275. >Yarn holding the signboards? Check.
  276. >Falling from the roof and into the arms of the new inmate before kissing him on the cheeks?
  277. >Totally not part of the plan!
  278. >How this could happen to you?
  279. >...You made a mistake
  280. >But he didn’t seem to care...
  281. >And why did you yell at him? ‘Don’t think for a moment that I like you just because you saved my life’...
  282. >Totally wrong!
  283. >Bad manners!
  284. >Your mother didn’t teach you to act like that!
  285. >Acting lewd in front of everypony… you need to give Anonymous an apology!
  286. >You steal a glance at Anonymous again
  287. >He is looking at his bo- Pancho
  288. >Anon saved your life, maybe you owe him something?
  289. >You need to think of something...
  290. >Maybe he needs to relax after his trial?
  291. >But where in the prison would be the best place for it?
  292. >…!
  293. >The Spa! You should take him to the Spa! The VIP one! Just for today, right?
  294. >But later, after showing him the prison
  295. >yeah, you have time for that!
  296. >You smile and giggle
  297. >…
  298. >Don’t smile and giggle while looking at him!
  299. >You walk over to Anonymous
  300. >Don’t invite him to the spa yet, just play it cool
  301. “So, Anonymous, since you are new here I would like to show you around the place. Maybe we could start with the Spa?”
  302. >NAILED IT
  303. >NO, UNNAILED IT
  304. “Wait I mean-“
  305. >”There’s a Spa in this prison?”
  306. >Quick, he’s distracted!
  307. “Y-yeah, every prison in Equestria has at least one, we have two”
  308. >Anon raises his eyebrows
  309. >”Two Spas!?”
  310. “It’s a prison in the middle of the biggest desert in the world!! What did you expect? A single pool? We’ve actually got three pools…”
  311. >”You kidding me, right?”
  312. “I’m not! I’m the warden and I know this place well! Haven’t you felt the air conditioner in here?”
  313. >He seems distracted by what you said and starts to feel the temperature of the place
  314. >”So that’s why this place felt a little cold…”
  315. >You cough to call his attention back to you
  316. “Well, changing the subject, I’m going to give you a little tour here since you are new. Where do you want to start?”
  317. >”Well I-“
  318. >A monstrous sound is heard from Anonymous’s belly
  319. “Guess that means you are hungry, huh? Say no more! Let’s get some food!”
  320. >Anonymous stretches a little
  321. >”I assume you ponies don’t have food from my world, eh?”
  322. >Food from his world?
  323. “Food from your world?”
  324. >”Meat and all that stuff, I’ve been here in Equestria for a few weeks and in my adventures, I haven’t gotten to eat any meat, just vegetables, and mushrooms. Not that I complain”
  325. “Well, some of our prisoners here eat eggs with mushrooms for lunch. It isn’t noon but I guess you can eat some eggs right now… I hope the chef doesn’t mind making eggs so late”
  326. >”That works!”
  327. >You look at Pancho, sitting in Anonymous’s hands
  328. “What about Pancho? Is he hungry?”
  329. >…
  330. >Pancho doesn’t say anything
  331. >”What was that amigo? Oh that’s bad”
  332. “What did he say?”
  333. >”He lost his appetite”
  334. >Now you feel bad for him
  335. “I’m sorry…”
  336. >”Oh don’t be, he has forgiven you! That’s a good step towards friendship, don’t you know?”
  337. >You giggle again and nod at Anonymous and Pancho
  338.  
  339.  
  340. Be Anon
  341. >This place is amazing! Why are ponies afraid of going to prison?
  342. >Maybe because being a prisoner is bad for their profiles in society?
  343. >Well, committing crimes is wrong… but yours were an accident
  344. >You wonder about those two suspicious ponies, the ones who got you into this mess
  345. >Well, ‘mess’, wasn’t the word for your situation anymore
  346. >This place has two fucking spas! How awesome is that!?
  347. “So… Can you tell me about the inmates in this prison? Are they happy staying in here too?”
  348. >Short Fuse is taken by surprise by that question
  349. >”Who would be happy staying in a prison? It’s a sad place to stay! Away from your family… friends… society…”
  350. >You never thought about it like that
  351. >Probably because you had no family…
  352. >But you had friends! Well, one. Hmm, wonder where that donkey is now?
  353. “About the first question…”
  354. >”Oh, some of them are happy helping others in the prison, Yarn Feather as an example. She’s always helping me in…”
  355. >Short Fuse seems to mutter something to himself
  356. >“...in acts that don’t end in a failure…”
  357. >Coughing, Short continues
  358. >”Others are just sad by being here. For example, there is this detective who is… cold. He just stays in his room and doesn’t even bother saying hi to others inmates… Besides him, others are unhappy being here, calling their mothers, regretting doing what they did, and so on.
  359. >They’re like little kids making mistakes in kindergarten
  360. >Hopefully you don’t become a bully
  361. >Speaking of which…
  362. “Are there bullies?”
  363. >”Oh no, there are no bullies here! Well… there was this one minotaur and his sister, but they were moved to another prison!”
  364. >So, no bullies? Now you can enjoy this prison as if it was that hotel from Oaxaca! Damn you miss that place...
  365. >You take notice of the Cutie Mark on Short Fuse
  366. >It’s a magnet with three tiny thunderbolts
  367. “Hey Warden, I was wondering something”
  368. >Short Fuse makes a motion with his head
  369. >”You can call me Short Fuse if you want, or just Fuse”
  370. “Oh right, you can call me Anon, well I had other question for you, Fuse”
  371. >”Go ahead, we got two halls left until we are at the mess”
  372. “What’s the meaning of your Cutie Mark? I got curious”
  373. >Short Fuse takes a look at his Cutie Mark, then back at you
  374. >”When I was a foal, I called unnecessary attention to myself. The good things, the bad things, everything went to me, and then I tried to make things better. Like… a scared baby crying, I can get their attention and make them grin again! In summary, I get the attention of someone and then help solve their problems. That’s why I’m the warden of this prison! To help and service everypony who needs me!”
  375. >You clap as Short Fuse finishes
  376. “That is a cool story, Fuse!”
  377. >Your belly growls as if it was a monster from an 18+ horror movie
  378. >”Answering your belly, we are almost in the-“
  379. >You can hear ponies screaming and yelling for help from the next room
  380. >”That came from the kitchen! Quick Anonymous, something has happened in there!”
  381. “Food can wait; let’s see what’s going on”
  382.  
  383.  
  384.  
  385. Be Short Fuse
  386. >Be running with Anon and Pancho to the kitchen where someone is screaming
  387. >You only hope that no one is hurt
  388. >”What do you think it is, Fuse?”
  389. “Whatever it is can’t be anything good!”
  390. >You both finally arrive in the mess hall
  391. >The screams are louder now
  392. >This isn’t good, this can’t be good, and you sense it
  393. “Anon, you and Pancho stay here”
  394. >He makes a dismissive gesture with his hands
  395. “Nu-uh, I’m coming with you, no matter what the problem is”
  396. ”But An-“
  397. >Anon interrupts you
  398. >”I want to help, so does Pancho, right amigo?”
  399. >Pancho doesn’t say anything
  400. >”Right!”
  401. >Oh, these two…
  402. “FINE! Come, quick!”
  403.  
  404.  
  405. Be Anon
  406. >Be hearing a lot of ponies screaming for help and their mommies
  407. >This can’t end well
  408. >Fuse finally gets to a pony who is crying, sobbing on the floor
  409. >Fuse tries to calm the crying pony enough to get some information out of him
  410. >Various ponies are in the middle of the kitchen
  411. >A dragon is on the roof, flying and scared
  412. >And a griffon is on-
  413. >Wait a minute, a dragon? Scared?
  414. >Jesus fuck, this is serious business if a dragon is scared
  415. >Fuse finally manages to speak with the sobbing pony
  416. >“Now, now, tell me, what’s wrong? Why is everyone screaming?
  417. >The pony is so scared, that he has the hiccups
  418. >”T-there is a *hip* There is a *hip*”
  419. >”Calm down, I’m here, now, tell me slowly what the pro-“
  420. >The scared pony yells at Short Fuse
  421. >”THERE IS A COCKROACH IN THE KITCHEN!”
  422. >[Screaming intensifies FT. The dragon]
  423. “A cockroach? That’s all? That’s why you ponies are yelling?”
  424. >Short Fuse gets in the middle of the kitchen, trying to get the attention of the terrified ponies
  425. >"Okay, listen up everyone: There is no reason to panic”
  426. >Everyone seems to be paying attention to Short Fuse, maybe except for a few including the dragon who is now crying in the corner by the roof
  427. >”Just keep calm and-“
  428. >Suddenly, the cockroach takes flight
  429. >”PANIC, EVERYPONY PANIC, IT’S FLYING!!!”
  430. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYAJopwEYv8
  431. >Oh look, the dragon finally stopped flying, maybe he will-
  432. >Nevermind, he’s hiding in the fridge…
  433. >The cockroach aimlessly flies around the room, causing ponies to scream in horror as it approaches
  434. >Short Fuse is covering his eyes with his hooves
  435. >”OH, TELL ME WHEN IT’S OVER!”
  436. >The cockroach flies onto Short Fuse’s shoulder
  437. >This can’t end well
  438. >This surely CAN’T end well
  439. >Short Fuse squeals effeminately and faints
  440. >Cockroach: 1 – Short Fuse: 0
  441. >…
  442. >Okay, time to stop horsing around
  443. >…Hehe, horsing…
  444. >Damn it, think of something!
  445. “Pancho, any ideas?”
  446. “…”
  447.  
  448.  
  449. Be Pancho
  450. “…”
  451. >You don’t say anything because you're just a delivery box.
  452. >...
  453.  
  454.  
  455.  
  456. Be Anon
  457. “Why am I asking you?”
  458. >…
  459. “Wait a minute… Pancho, you got it!”
  460. >If you were Pancho, you wouldn’t like what was about to happen
  461. >Ponies are screaming more and more
  462. >Short Fuse is knocked out in the floor
  463. >The dangerous floor that the cockroach can be on any minute!
  464. >You focus on the cockroach
  465. >Time seems to freeze as you see the cockroach flying right next to you
  466. >…
  467. >You focus you strength in your hands and grab Pancho
  468. >…
  469. “FOR FUSE!”
  470. >…!
  471. >With a final movement you trap the cockroach inside of Pancho
  472. >…Well that’s a weird quote
  473. >Damn you hate these things, but you can’t see the reactions on the ponies faces if there was a dead bug on the floor
  474. >”He did it!”
  475. >”…You saved us from the flying monster!”
  476. >Various ponies start coming from their crying positions, even the dragon that was in the fridge
  477. >...Are you forgetting something?
  478. >…The warden! Fuse!
  479. “Fuse! Are you alright!?”
  480. >Short Fuse is unconscious on the floor, no word or sound can be heard from his lying body
  481. >”I-Is the warden, okay?”
  482. >”SOMEPONY BRING THE NURSE!”
  483. >”WHERE IS THE NURSE?! PANIC! THE NURSE! PANIC!”
  484. >God damn you can’t think straight with all this shouting
  485. “Everyone hush; let me hear if he’s breathing”
  486. >You approach at his chest and close your eyes, focusing your ears in any sound of his body
  487. >…
  488. >…
  489. >…?
  490. >You can’t… Is he…? OH GOD
  491. >Don’t panic!
  492. “I don’t think he’s… breathing at all!”
  493. >Various ponies gasp at your answer
  494. >Maybe you are wrong?
  495. >Maybe he’s okay!
  496. >Is this a joke, right?
  497. >RIGHT?
  498. >”I CAN’T HANDLE THIS ANYMORE! I’M GETTING THE NURSE!”
  499. >A pony runs to the exit of the mess hall
  500. >You need to think of something…
  501. >Ugh, think, think, think
  502. >…
  503. >You could do /that/ technique, but…
  504. >There is no time to think more!
  505. >Okay, that’s it, you are doing it
  506. >You are doing mouth to mouth
  507. >It’s no homo if you try to save someone else’s life... right?
  508. >Papa Anon always said that if there was a hole, there was a way…
  509. >You sweat as you approach Short Fuse’s face
  510. >He looks like Snow White right now…
  511. >You slap your cheeks with both of your hands
  512. >FOCUS, ANON! God damn, a life of a pony is in your hands!
  513. “OKAY EVERYONE, I WILL TRY TO SAVE THE WARDEN BY DOING MOUTH TO MOUTH, STAY AWAY”
  514. >Ponies, the dragon, and griffon gasp again
  515. >You approach Short Fuse’s lips
  516. >…Maybe if you close your eyes and you imagine something else, it won’t be weird…
  517. >…
  518. >God damnit Nicolas Cage, you are not helping
  519. >You grab Short Fuse’s cheeks with both of your hands
  520. >Various ponies intrigued, focus in your next movement
  521. >This is it!
  522. >You pucker up and start leaning down
  523. >The room stays silent for a brief moment
  524. >…
  525. >”…Eep!”
  526. >Eep? What’s that sound?
  527. >You open your eyes, and you meet with Short Fuse’s eyes wide open
  528. >Short Fuse cheeks blush, all his face is now red, and hot as lava
  529. >You can hear his heavy breathing on your neck
  530. >…It tickles you
  531. “Umm… hello, this is…”
  532. >”He saved us from the monster /and/ saved the warden! ALL PRAISE OUR NEW HERO! ALL HAIL-“
  533. >The pony interrupts himself
  534. >”What’s your name?”
  535. >Still in the same position, you answer
  536. “Um, Anonymous”
  537. >”ALL HAIL ANONYMOUS!”
  538. >Various ponies repeat your name three times with a ‘hip, hip, hurray!’
  539. >They stop as a pony in a nurse outfit enters the kitchen
  540. >”I came as fast as I could, where is the waaaa…-“
  541. >She’s looking at you both
  542. >On the floor...
  543. >You holding Fuse in an almost romantic way...
  544. >…Shit
  545. >Short Fuse is still blushing and stunned from what happened
  546. “I CAN EXPLAIN!”
  547. >This will be hard to explain to Fuse…
  548. >First you stand up so you can talk to Fuse, who is still stunned
  549. “Fuse… are you alright? I’m sorry, I thought you couldn’t-“
  550. >”You almost… kissed me…”
  551. “I was going to give you mouth to mouth! You weren’t breathing!”
  552. >”I…. I….”
  553. >The nurse pony talks directly to you
  554. >”I… don’t know what happened here, but the warden looks like he’s seen a ghost! He’s coming with me until he feels better!”
  555. “…Okay”
  556. >You could help him to get to the nursery faster, but who knows what Fuse would think of that...
  557. >”Come with me Warden, I think all you need is to rest for a bit…”
  558. >The warden stutters all the way out of the mess hall as he follows the nurse
  559. >Hopefully he’s okay; you didn’t want to traumatize somepony in this prison!
  560. >The griffon approaches you and puts his paw on your shoulder
  561. >”Well there hero, you saved us! How can we give you our thanks?”
  562. >Your stomach growls in a way that says ‘FEED ME NOW’
  563. “Could you serve me some food? I was wondering if I could get some eggs right now even though it’s noon…”
  564. >”Don’t you worry; you saved us from that little flying monster! You can have eggs! You can have all of them!”
  565. “Neat, thanks, umm…?”
  566. >”Name’s Lattore, I’m the chef of this kitchen!”
  567. >The dragon from before approaches you both, and you get a better look at his red eyes and green scales
  568. >”And this right here is my assistant, Fray”
  569. >”Nice to meet you, Anonymous, thanks for saving us!”
  570. >His voice sounds like the voice of a teenage
  571. >Maybe that’s why his reaction against the cockroach was to run or fly away?
  572. “Nice to meet you too, Fray”
  573. >Lattore clears his throat
  574. >”Well, let’s not make our savior wait! Let’s make him the best omelets in this part of Saddle Arabia!”
  575. >The cockroach inside Pancho can wait, belly needs food now
  576.  
  577. Be Mr. Cucaro, aka the cockroach
  578. >It's dark
  579. >You don't see a thing
  580. >You're scared
  581. >...
  582. >Why do you smell gunpowder?
  583. >...
  584. >What's gunpowder and how do you know how it smells like that?
  585.  
  586. Be Short Fuse
  587. >Be in the nursery, sitting in a patient’s bed
  588. >Be confused at what you saw in the kitchen
  589. >Okay, quick re-cap about what happened
  590. >First, there were the ponies screaming in the kitchen
  591. >Second, the cockroach flying around the kitchen
  592. >Third, what happened there?
  593. >Four, Anon trying to kiss you, holding you in his arms...
  594. >Why?! Was it revenge for the kiss on the cheeks earlier when you mistook him for Yarn?
  595. >No… revenge can’t be the reason
  596. >...And why is your heart still racing so hard!?
  597. >It’s already been a few minutes since the nurse brought you to the nursery!
  598. >”Alright warden, let me check you to see what the problem is”
  599. “I… don’t think I need the full checkup, Bright Light…”
  600. >”Nonsense! A nurse must check her patient to see what the problem is. Unless you tell me what happened, I can’t let you go without checking to see if you are sick or injured”
  601. >You can’t tell her about the heat you feel right now for the situation with Anon, and you can say even less about he almost kissed you!
  602. “W-well, there was this cockroach in the kitchen and it was flying around the room, and everypony panicked and then the cockroach was on my shoulder… and I don’t remember what happened next…”
  603. >”Are you sure that’s all?”
  604. >Well, you did have a dream about being the best warden in Equestria
  605. >…
  606. >Don’t tell her that
  607. “Y-yes, that’s all I can remember”
  608. >Bright Light puts her hoof on your forehead and checks your temperature
  609. >”Oh my! You are hot! Wait, let me bring the thermometer!”
  610. >She quickly brings the item and puts it in your mouth for a few seconds, then removes it
  611. >”Hmm… your temperature is… normal”
  612. “I’m okay, I’m okay!”
  613. >She uses her stethoscope to hear your heartbeats
  614. >”Your heart rate is dangerously high! This isn’t normal, warden!”
  615. “I told you that I’m fine! Just… scared and surprised”
  616. >Bright Light starts to write in her notebook
  617. >”Maybe you need to sleep for a bit, I’ll give you a few pills”
  618. “N-no Bright Light, I’ll be okay. I also still need to give the prison tour to… Anon…”
  619. >Your cheeks start to fill a little red
  620. >”So that’s the new prisoner’s name, uh?”
  621. >Bright Light smirks
  622. >”You two seemed so attached to each other back at the kitchen”
  623. “Waah? I was… unconscious on the floor!”
  624. >”Are you sure you don’t like the new inmate? That would explain a lot of-“
  625. “M-M-Me? L-Liking an inmate?”
  626. >You mutter to yourself under your breath
  627. “Not that I can’t like a prisoner…”
  628. >You cough and continue your conversation with Bright Light
  629. “B-But we are the same sex!”
  630. >Bright Light raises one eyebrow
  631. >”Uh? Well warden, everything is possible in this life, there is no problem loving somepony from your same sex, and everyone is free to choose which way to go”
  632. “B-But I told you already, I don’t like him!”
  633. >”Maybe he likes you?”
  634. “Hum! You are impossible to talk with, Bright!”
  635. >You look away from Bright Light and cross your hooves across your chest
  636. “Look, it’s getting late, it’s already noon. I’m going to prepare Anon and Pancho’s clothes, so I’ll be in my room. Tell them both to come to meet me there, please”
  637. >”Sure… but, who is Pancho?”
  638. “He’s Anon’s friend, but don’t you dare call him a bo- …square thing. He has feelings!”
  639. >”…Okay?”
  640. “Okay! Thanks Bright!”
  641. >You run away from the nurse’s office, heart still beating rapidly
  642. >Why? It is for Anon? Or was it because of the cockroach attack?
  643. >You need to take a cold bath
  644. >A /really/ cold one
  645. >One part of you can’t stop thinking of cuddles and Anon…
  646. >Stop, lewd thoughts! He’s a prisoner and you’re the warden!...
  647. >Not that a relationship in a prison is prohibited…
  648. >Relationship!? That’s it; you need to think of something else
  649. > Time for the costumes!
  650.  
  651. Be Anon
  652. >Be enjoying the best fucking eggs in the entire history of eggs
  653. >Lattore was right, these eggs taste amazing!
  654. >The dish was eggs, mushrooms, and lettuce with melted cheese, hot damn!
  655. >”So Anonymous, what do you think about Saddle Arabia’s third special dish?
  656. “Ten out of ten! My belly can’t thank you enough for the meal!”
  657. >”I’m glad you liked it, I hope you like tomorrow’s dishes too!”
  658. “I can’t wait to taste this again tomorrow morning”
  659. >”If you have the points for the dishes, then I’m sure you are going to enjoy it”
  660. >You give Lattore a confused look
  661. “Points?”
  662. >”Oh, you don’t know? There is this system in the prison for doing good actions for everyone else. If you help someone and they will help you by giving you points to use in this prison”
  663. >Lattore took a pause, and he continued
  664. >”For example, my assistant Fray; he’s a prisoner too, and he voluntarily is helping me in the kitchen! And he’s the best assistant I ever had”
  665. >Well he’s a dragon, dragons breath fire; of course he’ll be a good assistant
  666. >”Oh you’re saying too much, Lattore! I’m just doing my part!”
  667. >You look at Fray
  668. “So, Fray, what did you do to get sent to prison?”
  669. >”Ever hear of Dragon’s scale flu?”
  670. >Never in your life have you heard something like that
  671. “Nope, no idea what that is”
  672. >”Well, let’s just say it’s a randomly occurring disease, it’s temporary for some dragons and long term for others, but it’s very dangerous in certain parts…”
  673. >He took a pause, then continued
  674. >”It took me by surprise when I was adventuring in a forest near Baltimare. I accidentally burned most of the forest… the ponies captured me with their magic and I was accused for burning half the forest! I was sent to prison there, but they moved me into this prison because they were searching for a cure for my disease…”
  675. “I see, so do they found the cure for your disease?”
  676. >”Remember when I said that this disease could be temporary?”
  677. “Yeah”
  678. >”Well, when I moved into this prison my disease was gone; I had no problems with random fire breathings during the mornings or molesting my mates at night!”
  679. >Lattore interrupted Fray
  680. >”And when I found this little pal in the mess hall, he asked me if he could help me in the kitchen and I accepted! Oh and what a help he is”
  681. >Being a chef’s assistant as a dragon is interesting, these two are interesting
  682. “And you Lattore, what stories have you to tell?”
  683. >”Oh not much, just a griffon working as a chef, nothing more, nothing less. It’s fun to work here, except for… you know, the dangers of those little monsters”
  684. >He’s talking about the cockroach
  685. >Speaking of, you should take that cockroach out of Pancho
  686. >If he were able to speak, he would be complaining about it
  687. “Okay guys, I’m going to talk to my old friend here, could you excuse us meanwhile we talk?”
  688. >Lattore and Fray look at the empty chairs
  689. >”With who?”
  690. “Him, my friend, Pancho”
  691. >You point at Pancho
  692. >”The box?”
  693. >Oh no, here we go again
  694. “It’s not a box! Look, I know it might look like one, but he isn’t. His name is Pancho and he is an old friend who came all the way here with me, right amigo?”
  695. >Pancho doesn’t respond
  696. “Right!”
  697. >Both Lattore and Fray look at each other confused
  698. >Lattore points at Pancho
  699. >”Oh, so he helped save us too! Now I remember! Okay Anonymous, if you need us we will be in the kitchen”
  700. “Right, thanks again for the food!”
  701. >They both wave their good-byes and leave you alone with Pancho
  702. >Finally, now you’ll be able to take care of the cockroach in a safe place
  703. >But where? The bathroom?
  704. >Yeah, that’ll work
  705. >Now you just need to grab Pancho and search for the-
  706. >”Inmate Anonymous and Pancho?”
  707. >You look behind you and see the nurse from before, the one who took Fuse with her
  708. “Oh, hello there”
  709. >”Good afternoon you both”
  710. “Is… Fuse alright?”
  711. >”He’s not doing so well. His heart was beating faster and faster, and his cheeks were hot, but he wasn’t ill or anything. I tried to give him some pills to help him sleep, but he didn’t want them”
  712. “Why didn’t he want the pills? He needs to rest after… what happened in the kitchen”
  713. >”He told me that he preferred to give you both the tour for the prison, but for now he’s in his room, he asked me to lead you both to his room”
  714. >She sighs
  715. >”You two are new here, right?”
  716. “Yeah, why do you ask?”
  717. >”Because you both need the prisoner’s uniform. This isn’t just a hotel!”
  718. >It looks like one…
  719. >”Ugh, the warden always forgets the uniforms for the new inmates. He’s always too busy going on with his acts, tours, and costumes…”
  720. >Costumes?
  721. “What… costumes?”
  722. >”Nevermind that, just follow me, time is short and it is getting late”
  723. >You pick up Pancho with your arms and stand up
  724. “Alright, I’ll follow, umm… what’s your name?”
  725. >”Nurse Bright Light”
  726. >You extend a hand to her to greet her
  727. “Nice to meet you, as you know, I’m Anonymous and this right here is my friend Pancho”
  728. >She extends her hoof to your hand and does so with Pancho
  729. >When Pancho doesn’t respond, Bright shrugs and turns to lead you to the warden’s office
  730. >You start to walk a little at her side, just to get a little conversation while on your way to Short Fuse’s room
  731. “So… Nurse Bright Light, what do you do in this prison?”
  732. >”You can just call me Bright, and I just do the classic things a nurse is supposed to do in a prison. Checks ups, diagnostics, healing boo-boos…”
  733. >You almost giggle at the last part, but that would be mean so you resist the temptation to laugh
  734. >”I’m not the best, but I do what I can to help everyone here”
  735. >She takes a pause and starts walking slower than before
  736. >”Alright, we are almost there. You got any other question for me?”
  737. “Well if you want, you could give me those sleep pills so I can give them to Fuse. He looks like he really needs to rest”
  738. >She searches for the pills in her bag
  739. >”Sure, let me see…. There they are! Oh, so you are new and the warden already told you to call him that?”
  740. “Eh, yeah, is that wrong?”
  741. >She smirks at your question
  742. >”Nope, is fine, don’t worry about it~”
  743. >She hands you the sleep pills, and you put them in your pants pocket
  744. >”Anything else?”
  745. “Nah, I’m good. Maybe Pancho got one for you, though”
  746. >…
  747. >Pancho just buzzes
  748. >”What was that?”
  749. >Oh shit, the cockroach was trying to fly around inside Pancho, you really need to get to the bathroom as soon as you can!
  750. “O-oh, he wants to use the bathroom”
  751. >”Well, Pancho needs to wait until he gets his uniform”
  752. “Alright, we’ll wait”
  753. >You three finally arrive at a room with a plaque that reads “Warden’s room”
  754. >This must be his office
  755. >”Well, I’m going to be working. Some ponies from the kitchen incident are still scared, so I need to give them some lollipops”
  756. “Okay Bright, take care”
  757. >And with that, you are in front of Short Fuse’s room alone with Pancho
  758. >You gulp and sweat a little
  759. >Maybe he’s calm now?
  760. >Yeah… nothing can go wrong, you just need to be brave!
  761. >You’ve got a full belly, and you can explain everything to Fuse
  762. >Though you are still nervous
  763. >Holding Pancho with your right hand, you grab the doorknob with your left hand and open the door slowly
  764. “Hey Fuse, the nurse told me to come to your room about the...-“
  765. >As soon as you open the door, you spot Short Fuse looking at himself in a full-length mirror
  766. >He’s wearing a saddle, a blue cyan ribbon placed in his mane, and socks of the same color on each of his four hooves
  767. >If Pancho had eyes, you'd be covering them
  768. >”A-A-Anon!?”
  769. >Short Fuse quickly turns around to see you, cheeks red and eyes wide
  770. >”Didn’t your mother teach you to knock before entering someone’s room?”
  771. >He sounds extremely embarrassed
  772. >You knew Short Fuse was into something, but crossdressing?
  773. >...Boy, does he looks cute in that
  774. “You look really cute in that”
  775. >Did you really just… say that?
  776. >”W-wha?”
  777. “N-nevermind that, why are you wearing… that?”
  778. >He looks even more nervous than when you first opened the door
  779. >” I’m just- I just… it’s my hobby to wear clothes when I’m depressed or something is bothering me! It helps me to get distracted from my problems! Don’t think poorly of me, please…”
  780. “Care to share how you learned that you liked dressing up?”
  781. >He turns back around and looks at himself in the mirror as you step into the room fully, closing the door behind yourself
  782. >”…It’s a long story. All you need to know is… that my parents wanted a filly, that’s all”
  783. “I have time for stories if you want to share”
  784. >”For now, I can’t. It will have to be another day. I have work to do as the warden, and there is paperwork for some inmates who are leaving the prison soon… I need to fill out every paper Anon! Every! Paper! And you still have to explain to me what happened in the kitchen…”
  785. “Oh yeah... I’ll explain that later”
  786. >You take a nervous pause and then proceed
  787. “What about your assistant?”
  788. >”She’s already done. She only helps me once per day…”
  789. >You remember what Lattore said about the help and points system
  790. “Hey, maybe I can help you with all the paperwork later”
  791. >”But Anon!”
  792. “Why the ‘but’? Besides, it’ll be a good way for me to earn points. The points system about being rewarded for good actions that you forgot to tell me about”
  793. >”Whoops… I really forgot with the… act”
  794. >He looks down at the ground sadly
  795. “Don’t worry Fuse, if it makes you feel better, I really liked your act. Nobody has ever given me a welcome like that”
  796. >Short Fuse cheers up and jumps over to hug you
  797. >”R-really!? You liked it!?... Alright, you can help me for today”
  798. >This hug is… fine. You can’t complain about a cute little stallion hugging you with… a saddle and socks and… maybe you should stop this hug
  799. “Umm, Fuse? If anyone finds us like this right now, wouldn’t they take it the wrong way?”
  800. >”Why? This isn’t weird... is it weird for you?”
  801. >You really don’t know, you have a problem with your feelings right now
  802. “N-no, it’s okay”
  803. >Except for the boner, everything is okay…
  804. >Short Fuse slowly releases you
  805. >”Okay, about the paperwork!”
  806. “Yeah, let’s do this before it gets too la-”
  807. >Before you can finish the last word, an alarm begins blaring
  808. >The Pegasus from before, Yarn Feather, comes into the room
  809. >Smashing the door in the process
  810. >”WARDEN, WARDEN! RED ALARM! RED ALARM! THEY ARE HERE!”
  811. >They? Who?
  812. “Who are they?”
  813. >”I can’t believe they are attacking us again!… it’s been weeks since the last attack, but they are back…”
  814. >WHO IS BACK?
  815. “Fuse, who is back? What is happening?”
  816. >”Terrorists, Anon”
  817. >Short fuse gulps
  818. >”Terrorists, from Al-Quesadilla”
  819.  
  820.  
  821. END OF CHAPTER 1

Anon in Saddle Arabia's pony prison - Prologue

by Wand_of_Inferno

Anon in Saddle Arabia's pony prison, chapter 1

by Wand_of_Inferno

Anon in Saddle Arabia's pony prison, chapter 2

by Wand_of_Inferno

Police Anon in Manehattan

by Wand_of_Inferno

Anon in Saddle Arabia's pony prison, chapter 3

by Wand_of_Inferno