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Police Anon in Manehattan

By Wand_of_Inferno
Created: 2022-04-30 06:16:25
Expiry: Never
/kinder/anonymousspitfire

  1. Be Anon
  2. >Be in the office of the Chief getting the scolding of your life
  3. >You were just doing your job man, ponies were doing illegal stuff and it was your job to put a stop to it. …not like, put a stop sign or something like official Derpy does, just… stop them for doing things that are against the law
  4. >The order Chief Spitfire gave you was clear. “Stop ponies in the 201 apartment in the Creamy Wings Avenue. Quick and clear. You two are the only cops near the avenue, in case things get messy, call for backup. …And bring me a donut while you are at it.”
  5. >You two went as soon as possible to the place where some illegal ponies were doing, well, illegal stuff as you said
  6. >You and your partner, White Shot, had the place secured. It didn’t have a fire emergency exit so the only entrance and exit were covered by you two
  7. >She had her water gun with her in case they were armed. Maybe is some kind of taser gun but in disguise, you thought, but it was leaking water…
  8. >You were pointing your hand like a gun, as ridiculous as it sounds, ponies don’t see a difference between a real gun and your handgun
  9. >Boy… the moment you showed the Chief this idea, she screamed. You gotta admit, she was quick enough to fly and run away the moment she saw your "gun"
  10. >And so we were there, waiting for the best moment to enter
  11. >White Shot was going to enter first, but as the male privilege balls master you were… you decided to enter first
  12. >Or well, kick over the door and enter in the police fashion way of your world
  13. “POLICE! NOBODY MOVE!”
  14. >…It was the dumbest thing you’ve done. The ponies inside were having a stupid tea party, even some fucking stallions were dressed as ladies… creepy bastards
  15. >And you can tell where this leads to. Every pony started to cry and call for their mommies
  16. >…Even your partner cried! What police manners are those?!
  17. >”I don’t want to be in prison! The food there is amazing!”
  18. >”Are we being arrested!?”
  19. >”We didn’t do it we swear!”
  20. >All that crying… is still in your head
  21. >And that’s why you’re at Chief Spitfire’s office with your partner
  22. >Uh, seems like this world has plenty of different world rules, starting with tea parties. Those? Very illegal for some reason, even more, if they are private ones. But you heard in the corridor something about two cops talking about past year's “Green tea incident”
  23. >This job can’t get weird enough
  24. >When you got your job with Chief Spitfire, you thought it would be serious. She had the character of a colonel, heck, you think she wouldn’t give you the job… but she did
  25. >Maybe it was because you were one in a million chance to be the first primate police in the history of Manehattan… or Equestria. Since your last job wasn’t the best of choices (street singer isn’t your thing), you gave this a try
  26. >The free donuts and salary are good, but you wonder if you are ever going to catch a criminal and send him to jail… or her, no one knows who could be the next top criminal
  27. >”Anonymous! Did you hear what I just said?” Chief Spitfire interrupts your thoughts, almost sending you jumping from the chair you were sitting in. “Are you daydreaming again? You got issues buddy…”
  28. >Well shit
  29. “Ah, no. I was listening, I was just thinking about the tea party and… police stuff”
  30. >She gives a light ‘hmm’ and taps her hoof on the desk
  31. >”What was I saying then?”
  32. >Great, wonder what punishment you’ll get for not only failing a mission with five ponies crying… including your partner but not listening to what she said
  33. “You… were talking about how bad is to irrupt to an apartment without knocking on the door the normal and steady way and about… how yellow was a bad color…?” You say guessing, wishing that you at least did nail it halfway through
  34. >Why you say yellow, you have no fucking clue
  35. >”Exactly” She says while closing her eyes and calming down
  36. >U wot
  37. >”Not only yellow is a /bad/ color.” She then looks down and whispers to herself. “Although it doesn’t look bad on me…” She looks up and raises her voice. “BUT STILL, what you two did was savage, uncontrollable, unrealistic, totally not the police way! Anonymous, what do you have to say?”
  38. >Hell you don’t even know what to say…
  39. >You stare a bit at her flaming yellow and orange mane for a second. Well… if yellow did start a tiny argument, maybe orange can do it too
  40. >Is silly, but you are in horse land so… anything can happen
  41. >And she probably said something about the color yellow looking good on her
  42. “Uhmm… Orange looks good on you?”
  43. >”Come again?”
  44. >You stay with a stoic expression and stare at Chief Spitfire while crossing your arms
  45. “I said orange looks good on you, er, your mane?”
  46. >Your partner is with her mouth open and Chief Spitfire doesn’t look like she’s approving that… maybe you did fuck up
  47. >”I totally agree with that. Thanks for the compliment, Anonymous.”
  48. >Oh well, that went better than you expected
  49. >”You two only get a warning, a tiny one. Don’t do that ever again and act civilly to criminals, even if they don’t have those manners, or do they?”
  50. >Your partner, White Shot looks with a scrunchy face to Chief Spitfire
  51. >”Actually ma’am that-“
  52. >”Don’t answer that!”
  53. >White Shot quickly gets shut up by Chief Spitfire. Maybe some criminals /do/ what you did…. Hopefully, well, you want some action! You just don’t want to irrupt in tea parties and all that stuff… you want a criminal that at least gives you a true challenge
  54. >Maybe fight the version of the Joker in pony and save Manehattan
  55. >…Or just get your pay and get along with it
  56. >”You two are dismissed, carry on. Go for some donuts or I don’t know what you two like.” She did a turn in her chair and from one second to another, she changed her chief outfit to an outfit blue and yellow, looks like latex… and aerodynamic. “I’ll be in my second job; those newbies in the Wonderbolt Academy aren’t going to train themselves!” She winked at you two before bidding farewell
  57. >She took fly… through the ceiling. Well, there was a window up there for some reason; you always wondered why that was there, now you know. The problem is… we are on the first floor of the police station… it has two… how does that even…
  58. >You know what; you aren’t going to ask that
  59. >You stand up from your chair and so does your partner
  60. “So, wanna go for some coffee and donuts?” You ask your partner
  61. >She eyes you up and then gives you a cheeky smile
  62. >”You are going to pay. After that incident… I need something to make me forget how rude you were with that tea party”
  63. >Aww come on…
  64. >She eats like a monster, you’ll get poor eventually…
  65. >Well… since you have the police cart, you could try something different this time
  66. “How about we eat the donuts at my place? I have my wallet there after all”
  67. >”My mommy always told me to not go with strangers to their home…”
  68. >What stranger? We know each other for an entire week you little cute son of a bitch!
  69. “But-“
  70. >She starts laughing as she gives you a light hit on your shoulder
  71. >”I’m joking, don’t worry. We’ve been as partners in justice for a week and the only time I’ve seen you act like a crazy animal is tonight, I don’t think it’ll happen twice, right?”
  72. >Her eyes suddenly go a little wide and you can clearly see her shivering
  73. >”Seriously, you’re not acting like that again, right? I don’t want another visit to the therapist, she's gonna need another therapist for herself”
  74. >Damn she sounded all scary of the sudden
  75. >…Also funny how one of the ponies in the tea party was a therapist
  76. >Poor guy had to therapy himself
  77. “Don’t worry; I was just… overacting there. I guess I watched too many cops’ movies…” You scratch the back of your head as you force a tiny laugh. “Well, what do you say if we take this time together as to, I don’t know, talk about stories? Maybe you got something cool to talk with”
  78. >”Who? Me? I’m not that adventurous cop, Anonymous. I prefer the peaceful life of a cop… but I had moments I wish criminals weren’t so… you know… criminals!”
  79. >You two start exiting the police apartment while talking, one or two cops waving goodbye to you two in your way
  80. >You two finally arrive at your police cart. Yes, a cart, you read that correctly. Technology isn’t a pony thing yet, unless you fly as a dragon police, but that’s not the case in Manehattan police sadly
  81. >And of course, the manly alpha ape has to pull the cart
  82. >At this point if there is a police chase in these carts… you’ll pay to see it or be in there
  83. >Well this police cart at least had the colors of a… well, the police car in your world. But it lacks the siren, so your partner or you got to yell “WEEE OOO WEEE OOO” in the air to make everyone notice there is a case…
  84. >It was a fun ride when you two were going to the apartment where the tea party was. White Shot siren noises were the best
  85. >Well, except when she accidentally caught a bug in her mouth on the way
  86. >The bug was okay tho
  87. >Hopefully
  88. >Wait who you are to care about a bug? You are not a pony
  89. >Somewhere away from here, a changeling frowns

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