Anon in Saddle Arabia's pony prison - Prologue


                                            <Look at you, you poor, poor little thing

                                            <Locked up in a jail cell, all alone with no one around...

                                            <Well except for that box and-

                                            “HE’S NOT A BOX”

                                            <Okay, okay, Jesus calm down man, okay let me get back at what I was saying

                                            “Go on”

                                            <Locked up in a jail cell, all alo- With your square-shaped friend and nothing to eat except chocolate ice cream and cookies

                                            <Why are you complaining again?

                                            “I wanted vanilla ice cream…”

                                            >The narrator turns to the audience

                                            <Would you like to know how Anon got into this situation?

                                            <When shit got serious enough to have him put in prison?

                                            <Why I am asking all these questions?

                                            <What’s up with Anon’s box?

                                            “IT’S NOT A-“

                                            <All of this begins a few days ago…

                                            >...

                                            >The scene shifts from the prison to a tree in the jungle

                                            >A little bug is eating a leaf on the tree

                                            >Suddenly, a monkey appears and eats the bug

                                            >…

                                            <Wrong scene, sorry guys

                                            >The scene changes into a mouse running from a cat

                                            <OH, OH, This is my favorite show! ….but it’s not time for this

                                            <I’m not going to lie, I’m changing scenes with a controller, so let me choose the right one this time...

                                            <Okay, let’s see… this one not, this one either, yadda… yadda…

                                            >The scene finally focuses on what appears to be a city in a desert

                                            <Oh here we are, now on with the previously scheduled program


                                            Be Anonymous, Master Sorcerer of the dark magics

                                            >Well not really, you are just a single human who is in a mystical place where magical creatures live

                                            >Dragons, minotaurs, unicorns, and more, it’s as if you just woke up in a fictional world filled with badass creatures

                                            >...Or a cartoon show, because there were a few ponies

                                            >It’s been a few weeks since you appeared in this world with no explanation

                                            >You are in a place you call Gerudo Desert, but the ponies called it Saddle Arabia

                                            >What are you doing here? Just adventuring, trying to figure out how to get back to your dimension

                                            >In the meanwhile, you’re also being a tourist

                                            >Every pony is always so kind to you, not giving a shit about you being an exotic new creature

                                            >It’s that, or you looked like an evolution of a minotaur

                                            >The best possible evolution, of course

                                            >You move to a building with a pyramid-like look

                                            >Looks pretty good, too bad you don’t have a camera with you

                                            >You see two horses trying to lift some goods

                                            >Might as well help them, because why not? If everyone is kind, why not you?

                                            >You approach and say your greetings

                                            >”Quick you dumbhead, or we’ll be late for the boss’s pla-“

                                            “Hello there, you guys look like need some help”

                                            >”O-oh hi stranger! N-No, we are OKAY! We will just do it by ourselves!”

                                            >Suspicious...

                                            >The pony starts breathing faster and faster

                                            “Nah don’t be like that, I can carry triple what you guys are carrying”

                                            >The other pony starts sweating heavily

                                            >”No, no, no, no! We are fine! Just go away please”

                                            “Nonsense, I’ll help you at least with one…”

                                            >”Oh for Celestia’s sake…”

                                            >You lift a box and… accidentally trip

                                            >With that, the goods in the box hit the ground

                                            >Well not much goods, just another box

                                            >A box in a box, just as weird as it sounds

                                            >You quickly pick up the larger box again

                                            “Ugh, sorry for that guys, It was an accident, I’ll just put this ba…”

                                            >You look at what appears to be a box with a clock on it and some wires, red, blue, and yellow

                                            >This looks exactly like a bomb!

                                            >...If the clock wasn’t drawn with crayons and the wires weren’t made from paper

                                            >The ponies start yelling things in a language you don’t understand

                                            >The left pony picks up a radio and starts yelling

                                            >”Our cover has been blown! I repeat our cover has been blown!

                                            >His radio crackles to life

                                            >”Do whatever you can to get the packages; I don’t care if you hurt someone!”

                                            >The pony nods

                                            >”Roger that”

                                            >And with that, the two ponies grab two balloons and then inflate them

                                            >Within seconds, they each have a balloon sword

                                            “...What?”

                                            >”Gives us back the package or suffer our wrath!”

                                            >You smirk

                                            “Okay, okay, I’ll play your game”

                                            >You carefully put the ‘bomb’ inside the box in your arms

                                            >”Now put it on the ground!”

                                            “Let me think about it…”

                                            “…”

                                            “Nah, I’ll keep it, maybe the authorities would like to see it”

                                            >You say, joking, maybe these two are clowns

                                            >”Don’t you DARE”

                                            >And with that you quickly turn in the opposite direction, running with the box in your hands

                                            “Now where are the-“

                                            >”GUARDS, THIEF!”

                                            “Okay, this… isn’t going to end well”

                                            >Three guards appear of nowhere and yell at you

                                            >”STOP RIGHT THERE!”

                                            >Almost cornered by the 3 guards and the 2 suspicious ponies, you see a weak point in their defenses

                                            >A field with a well-manicured lawn filled with beautiful flowers

                                            >You quickly sprint through the open area

                                            >”HE’S TREADING THE GRASS! AND THE FLOWERS!”

                                            <Oh so that’s why they weren’t walking here

                                            <Wait, why is there grass in a desert?

                                            “Hell, if I know”

                                            >No time for questions like that now, you need to find a way to escape!

                                            >Think, think, think!

                                            >…

                                            >There!

                                            >A cart! Your escape!

                                            >And with that, you jump into the cart…

                                            >Nothing happens

                                            >Well, this cart doesn’t work without a horse pulling it…

                                            >Wait, there is a way to get this thing going!

                                            >With what you learned from The Flintstones, you pick up the cart and start running with it

                                            >”HEY! THAT’S MY CART!”

                                            “I’ll give it back later!”

                                            >”He’s a double thief! Stop him!”

                                            “I’M NOT A THIEF! THIS IS A MISUNDERSTANDING!”

                                            >While you weren’t paying attention to the road, a hill suddenly appeared

                                            >You turn back to the road just in time to retract your legs

                                            “Oh shiIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTT-“

                                            >The cart speeds up faster and faster as it careens down the massive hill

                                            >Without someone pulling the cart, there’s no way to steer as you plummet down the hill

                                            >A pony pulling a cart full of lettuces spots you just in time to escape from his harness and dive out of the way...

                                            >Leaving his cart behind, right in the middle of the road

                                            >Brace for impact!

                                            >With god-like speed, the carts collide

                                            >You are thrown from the cart amid a rain of edible leaves

                                            >”MY LETTUCES! GUARDS, THIS CRIMINAL HAS RUINED MY LETTUCES!”

                                            >You land hard, knocking the wind out of you

                                            “Did someone write down the license plate of that car….? Ugh…”

                                            >Your vision fades as you slowly feel unconsciousness swallow you

                                            >Even as you clutch the box in your hands