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Anon in Saddle Arabia's pony prison - Prologue

By Wand_of_Inferno
Created: 2022-04-30 01:33:03
Updated: 2022-04-30 05:27:16
Expiry: Never
/kinder/comedyanonymouspone prisonkinder

  1. 1.
    <Look at you, you poor, poor little thing
  2. 2.
    <Locked up in a jail cell, all alone with no one around...
  3. 3.
    <Well except for that box and-
  4. 4.
    “HE’S NOT A BOX”
  5. 5.
    <Okay, okay, Jesus calm down man, okay let me get back at what I was saying
  6. 6.
    “Go on”
  7. 7.
    <Locked up in a jail cell, all alo- With your square-shaped friend and nothing to eat except chocolate ice cream and cookies
  8. 8.
    <Why are you complaining again?
  9. 9.
    “I wanted vanilla ice cream…”
  10. 10.
    >The narrator turns to the audience
  11. 11.
    <Would you like to know how Anon got into this situation?
  12. 12.
    <When shit got serious enough to have him put in prison?
  13. 13.
    <Why I am asking all these questions?
  14. 14.
    <What’s up with Anon’s box?
  15. 15.
    “IT’S NOT A-“
  16. 16.
    <All of this begins a few days ago…
  17. 17.
    >...
  18. 18.
    >The scene shifts from the prison to a tree in the jungle
  19. 19.
    >A little bug is eating a leaf on the tree
  20. 20.
    >Suddenly, a monkey appears and eats the bug
  21. 21.
    >…
  22. 22.
    <Wrong scene, sorry guys
  23. 23.
    >The scene changes into a mouse running from a cat
  24. 24.
    <OH, OH, This is my favorite show! ….but it’s not time for this
  25. 25.
    <I’m not going to lie, I’m changing scenes with a controller, so let me choose the right one this time...
  26. 26.
    <Okay, let’s see… this one not, this one either, yadda… yadda…
  27. 27.
    >The scene finally focuses on what appears to be a city in a desert
  28. 28.
    <Oh here we are, now on with the previously scheduled program
  29. 29.
     
  30. 30.
     
  31. 31.
     
  32. 32.
    Be Anonymous, Master Sorcerer of the dark magics
  33. 33.
    >Well not really, you are just a single human who is in a mystical place where magical creatures live
  34. 34.
    >Dragons, minotaurs, unicorns, and more, it’s as if you just woke up in a fictional world filled with badass creatures
  35. 35.
    >...Or a cartoon show, because there were a few ponies
  36. 36.
    >It’s been a few weeks since you appeared in this world with no explanation
  37. 37.
    >You are in a place you call Gerudo Desert, but the ponies called it Saddle Arabia
  38. 38.
    >What are you doing here? Just adventuring, trying to figure out how to get back to your dimension
  39. 39.
    >In the meanwhile, you’re also being a tourist
  40. 40.
    >Every pony is always so kind to you, not giving a shit about you being an exotic new creature
  41. 41.
    >It’s that, or you looked like an evolution of a minotaur
  42. 42.
    >The best possible evolution, of course
  43. 43.
    >You move to a building with a pyramid-like look
  44. 44.
    >Looks pretty good, too bad you don’t have a camera with you
  45. 45.
    >You see two horses trying to lift some goods
  46. 46.
    >Might as well help them, because why not? If everyone is kind, why not you?
  47. 47.
    >You approach and say your greetings
  48. 48.
    >”Quick you dumbhead, or we’ll be late for the boss’s pla-“
  49. 49.
    “Hello there, you guys look like need some help”
  50. 50.
    >”O-oh hi stranger! N-No, we are OKAY! We will just do it by ourselves!”
  51. 51.
    >Suspicious...
  52. 52.
    >The pony starts breathing faster and faster
  53. 53.
    “Nah don’t be like that, I can carry triple what you guys are carrying”
  54. 54.
    >The other pony starts sweating heavily
  55. 55.
    >”No, no, no, no! We are fine! Just go away please”
  56. 56.
    “Nonsense, I’ll help you at least with one…”
  57. 57.
    >”Oh for Celestia’s sake…”
  58. 58.
    >You lift a box and… accidentally trip
  59. 59.
    >With that, the goods in the box hit the ground
  60. 60.
    >Well not much goods, just another box
  61. 61.
    >A box in a box, just as weird as it sounds
  62. 62.
    >You quickly pick up the larger box again
  63. 63.
    “Ugh, sorry for that guys, It was an accident, I’ll just put this ba…”
  64. 64.
    >You look at what appears to be a box with a clock on it and some wires, red, blue, and yellow
  65. 65.
    >This looks exactly like a bomb!
  66. 66.
    >...If the clock wasn’t drawn with crayons and the wires weren’t made from paper
  67. 67.
    >The ponies start yelling things in a language you don’t understand
  68. 68.
    >The left pony picks up a radio and starts yelling
  69. 69.
    >”Our cover has been blown! I repeat our cover has been blown!
  70. 70.
    >His radio crackles to life
  71. 71.
    >”Do whatever you can to get the packages; I don’t care if you hurt someone!”
  72. 72.
    >The pony nods
  73. 73.
    >”Roger that”
  74. 74.
    >And with that, the two ponies grab two balloons and then inflate them
  75. 75.
    >Within seconds, they each have a balloon sword
  76. 76.
    “...What?”
  77. 77.
    >”Gives us back the package or suffer our wrath!”
  78. 78.
    >You smirk
  79. 79.
    “Okay, okay, I’ll play your game”
  80. 80.
    >You carefully put the ‘bomb’ inside the box in your arms
  81. 81.
    >”Now put it on the ground!”
  82. 82.
    “Let me think about it…”
  83. 83.
    “…”
  84. 84.
    “Nah, I’ll keep it, maybe the authorities would like to see it”
  85. 85.
    >You say, joking, maybe these two are clowns
  86. 86.
    >”Don’t you DARE”
  87. 87.
    >And with that you quickly turn in the opposite direction, running with the box in your hands
  88. 88.
    “Now where are the-“
  89. 89.
    >”GUARDS, THIEF!”
  90. 90.
    “Okay, this… isn’t going to end well”
  91. 91.
    >Three guards appear of nowhere and yell at you
  92. 92.
    >”STOP RIGHT THERE!”
  93. 93.
    >Almost cornered by the 3 guards and the 2 suspicious ponies, you see a weak point in their defenses
  94. 94.
    >A field with a well-manicured lawn filled with beautiful flowers
  95. 95.
    >You quickly sprint through the open area
  96. 96.
    >”HE’S TREADING THE GRASS! AND THE FLOWERS!”
  97. 97.
    <Oh so that’s why they weren’t walking here
  98. 98.
    <Wait, why is there grass in a desert?
  99. 99.
    “Hell, if I know”
  100. 100.
    >No time for questions like that now, you need to find a way to escape!
  101. 101.
    >Think, think, think!
  102. 102.
    >…
  103. 103.
    >There!
  104. 104.
    >A cart! Your escape!
  105. 105.
    >And with that, you jump into the cart…
  106. 106.
    >Nothing happens
  107. 107.
    >Well, this cart doesn’t work without a horse pulling it…
  108. 108.
    >Wait, there is a way to get this thing going!
  109. 109.
    >With what you learned from The Flintstones, you pick up the cart and start running with it
  110. 110.
    >”HEY! THAT’S MY CART!”
  111. 111.
    “I’ll give it back later!”
  112. 112.
    >”He’s a double thief! Stop him!”
  113. 113.
    “I’M NOT A THIEF! THIS IS A MISUNDERSTANDING!”
  114. 114.
    >While you weren’t paying attention to the road, a hill suddenly appeared
  115. 115.
    >You turn back to the road just in time to retract your legs
  116. 116.
    “Oh shiIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTT-“
  117. 117.
    >The cart speeds up faster and faster as it careens down the massive hill
  118. 118.
    >Without someone pulling the cart, there’s no way to steer as you plummet down the hill
  119. 119.
    >A pony pulling a cart full of lettuces spots you just in time to escape from his harness and dive out of the way...
  120. 120.
    >Leaving his cart behind, right in the middle of the road
  121. 121.
    >Brace for impact!
  122. 122.
    >With god-like speed, the carts collide
  123. 123.
    >You are thrown from the cart amid a rain of edible leaves
  124. 124.
    >”MY LETTUCES! GUARDS, THIS CRIMINAL HAS RUINED MY LETTUCES!”
  125. 125.
    >You land hard, knocking the wind out of you
  126. 126.
    “Did someone write down the license plate of that car….? Ugh…”
  127. 127.
    >Your vision fades as you slowly feel unconsciousness swallow you
  128. 128.
    >Even as you clutch the box in your hands

Anon in Saddle Arabia's pony prison - Prologue

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