Twiley Time


                                            [Author's note: Random request done for friend around 2016.]


                                            >"Anon? I didn't know you were part unicorn! Why didn't you tell me!? But why is your horn in between your legs on not on your head like all the other unicorn ponies? Is... it getting longer too?"

                                            >You try to calm down after being walked in on by Twilight.

                                            >In the bathroom.

                                            >Guess she doesn't think too much about nudity since ponies go nude all the time.

                                            >Or don't have genitals. Either one.

                                            "Fuckin' bookhorse! It's not- ... getting longer."

                                            >You look down, and you're indeed about to set sail.

                                            >Twilight is looking right at your dick, and you're getting a boner.

                                            >You thank the sweet merciful spaghetti monster that she doesn't know what it is.

                                            >"Of course it is, I can see it! Why is it shaped so odd? Were you in some sort of accident? Did it grow a tumor on the end to look like that? Why's there a hole in the center, and veins on the side?"

                                            >She keeps asking 'scientific' questions without giving you a chance to answer, all the while moving around your naked form and getting much, much closer to your dick.

                                            >"And what are these two sack-like protrusions coming from its base?"

                                            >As you look down to tell her what it really is, her hoof raises up and fondles your left testicle.

                                            >You immediately jump back in surprise, also unfortunately making a girly little sound as you do so.

                                            >Purplesmart gasps at your sudden shock.

                                            >"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't hurt you did I?"

                                            "Gh-- no! I mean, you didn't hurt me, it's just that I didn't expect you to... look, can you go outside so I can put some clothes on or something?"

                                            >"Sorry, I'm just a little curious. Is it not a horn?"

                                            >Damnit, it's not a motherfucking-

                                            >Huh.

                                            >You actually have a little freedom to work with here.

                                            >What should you tell Twalot?


                                            >Well, nothing popped into your head that time.

                                            >Usually something does, but since the alternative has occurred, you make it up on the spot.

                                            "Well Twilight, this isn't a horn, no."

                                            >She makes an 'O' face and starts staring carefully at your manhood.

                                            >"So then, what is it for? I've never seen anything like this on any species."

                                            >You clap your hands together and rub then deviously, like a stereotypical cat-lap villain.

                                            >Shit, that's not helping your plan right now.

                                            "Well, this is what's called a Rooty Tooty Point 'n' Shooty."

                                            >"...A Rooty Tooty... Point and Shooty?"

                                            "That's right."

                                            >Twalot gives you a look of indignation.

                                            >"You can't honestly expect me to believe that, Anon."

                                            >OH, HOLD THE FFFFUCKIN' PHONE

                                            "Oh, so now you're the expert of my Rudy, huh Starbutt? Then what's it do?"

                                            >"Well, of course I don't know-"

                                            "Exactly. So when I say it's a motherfucking Rooty Tooty Point-"

                                            >She hastily holds up a hoof to stop you.

                                            >"Okay, okay! I get it. So, what does this... thing do?"

                                            >Here it comes.

                                            >no carlos intended

                                            "Listen carefully, 'Tweedle. To show you what it does, I'll actually need some assistance. Would you care to volunteer, or is your scientific mind not ready for the absolutely /hard/core results?"

                                            >She now looks up at you, a bit concerned.

                                            >"Uhm... Sure?"

                                            "Don't worry, just think of it as a science experiment."

                                            >A science experiment to see if you can get some hot, sweet, succulent pony tongue on your tallywhacker, that is.

                                            >You close the door behind Bookhorse and sit down on the edge of the tub, your soldier now standing proudly at full mast in anticipation.

                                            "Alright...."

                                            >Now, you probably shouldn't go straight up 'suck this rod and happy juice will spurt out', because she's not liable to go for that.

                                            >You need to make this interesting.

                                            >how should you get Twilight to pleasure you?


                                            "Here's how this works. This is a part of my body that has the ability to create a special... protein, that specifically affects h-females."

                                            >Twilight's eyes widen in fascination as she stares down at your cock.

                                            >"Wow, a gender-specific protein? You humans must have some interesting anatomy. So, do these protrusions create the protein?"

                                            "Yes, actually. Although, it's not easy to make; it takes time and specific actions to take place in order to... wrap it and ship it out of the warehouse, so to speak."

                                            >Twilight rubs her chin with her hoof, which makes you hnnng inside from how cute it is.

                                            >It's almost enough to make you stop this. Almost.

                                            >"Like a budding ritual?"

                                            "Er, I guess."

                                            >"So is the protein for your human females?"

                                            "Well, usually, but it could be used by other females. It's probably the same thing when you drink milk from a cow. It's not your species' milk, but it's still good for you."

                                            >"Interesting analogy... So this would be your milk?"

                                            "It's just protein, though."

                                            >"So how do you know that it's good for other species?"

                                            >She eyes you carefully.

                                            "Truthfully, I don't know."

                                            >"...Then I'm guessing you want me to be your guinea pig?"

                                            "I mean, you don't have to be. It's just speaking highly of your scientific curiosity if you did, right?"

                                            >"Mhm, what's in it for you?"

                                            >Oh shit, she's onto you.

                                            >...Eh, fuck it.

                                            "Well, when us males create this protein, we have a bit of a... powerful surge of dopamine go through our bodies."

                                            >"Oh, really? Like a state of euphoria?"

                                            "For a few seconds."

                                            >Twilight gets a bit closer to you, now a little more intrigued.

                                            >"I would say this is a little bit unethical just... delving in like this. But if you're okay with it, so am I! So, what are we going to do?"

                                            >That's the spirit, Purplebutt.

                                            >You'll get your tingtangle wackydoodled yet.


                                            "The way to get the protein made is a little bit of external stimulation."

                                            >"Just one question."

                                            >Twiddledee is now looking at you inquisitively.

                                            >"You speak very professionally about the usage of your body part, so why is it called a Rooty-"

                                            "Twilight, if you doubt my vocabulary one more time, then I'll..."

                                            >"You'll what?"

                                            >Damnit, you can't keep up this charade any longer.

                                            >If you try to keep up with it she'll just probably not do the 'experiment' at all.

                                            >But you don't want to run the risk of calling it what it actually is, because she might know it from some far away land where mammals reproduce like fuckin' mammals and not... love magic shit or whatever they do here.

                                            "Alright, alright. It's not a Rooty Tooty Point 'n' Shooty. It's actually called a Bibbidy-Babidi-Buu."

                                            >"Anon!"

                                            "A Wackletackle."

                                            >"Be serious about this!"

                                            "A gangley-goodad."

                                            >"If you don't tell me then I'll just leave!"

                                            >Shit, she means it too.

                                            "Fine!... It's called a shaft, okay?"

                                            >"Thank you! ...It does have the shape of a shaft, I guess."

                                            >She'll never know that was just you stalling for time.

                                            >"Anyways, you said stimulation, right?"

                                            "Yep. Now, if you cover the shaft with something wet and warm, and provide tactile friction, then my body responds to it positively and begins creating the protein. Eventually once it's had enough stimulation, the protein will be released from the shaft."

                                            >"Hmm... Something wet and warm. Like a towel?"

                                            >Oh for fuck's sake.

                                            "Twilight, if it's a protein you ingest, how do you ingest it?"

                                            >She thinks for a moment, not quite sure what you're getting at.

                                            >"Uh... the mouth?"

                                            "Now, what's wet and warm?"

                                            >"...Oh. My mouth. Haha, Yeah, I totally knew that!"

                                            >What a fat liar.

                                            >But who cares when you're finally getting sweet release?

                                            >"So, tactile friction... So I put my mouth around it, and rub my tongue on it?"

                                            "You're getting it. Just like a popsicle, except it helps to suck it too."

                                            >"Okay..."


                                            >Twilight takes one more step towards you, her muzzle now mere inches away from your now throbbing dick.

                                            >"So... just suck it?"

                                            >Hearing her say that is starting to make you launch prematurely.

                                            "Y-yeah, oh! No teeth, though. That hurts."

                                            >"Right, no teeth... Okay, here goes."

                                            >You can feel her breath on the underside of your dick.

                                            >She's looking intensely at it, beginning to open up that dark, lavish maw.

                                            >You watch her part her lips, saliva dripping between them.

                                            >You see her tongue start to move out, ready to wrap you in its warm embrace.

                                            >The warmth of her insides makes your hair stand on end, a shocking feeling now cascading through your body, waves of ecstasy moving through you in anticipation of what's to come.

                                            >Strands of saliva start to dribble down your shaft, and her lips eclipse your tip.

                                            >It's all you can do not to yell out as her head moves over your glans, ready to feel the most intense pleasure you've ever felt in your life.

                                            >Then there was warmth.

                                            >An overwhelming warmth.

                                            >But... that's it.

                                            >No pleasure, just warmth.

                                            >Across your groin, going into your legs now.

                                            >Wait, what?

                                            >You look down, and you breath out in surprise.

                                            >You can't see shit.

                                            >It's pitch black now.

                                            >And now you're covered in blankets.

                                            >What kind of weird ass spell did she cast- ooh.

                                            >Oooh...

                                            >You turn on the lamp beside your bed, and see an impressive patch of darkness on your crotch.

                                            >Well, shit.

                                            >Looks like you've been watching a little too much of the show, haven't you?

                                            >You audibly groan and sink back into your pillow, having intense feels of what was about to be.

                                            >Then you look over and see your Twilight plushie on the nightstand.

                                            >...Hmm.

                                            "...Fuck it, I'm still hard."

                                            >You grab the plush and reluctantly relieve yourself.

                                            >tfw