GREEN   582   0
   2542 14.02 KB    314

[FLUTTERRAPE] Demon Swords and Dark Overlords

By Nebulus
Created: 2020-12-17 16:46:05
Updated: 2021-07-03 08:51:01
Expiry: Never
anontwilight sparklefluttershysafecomedy/flutterrape/

  1. 1.
    Originally uploaded to Pastebin: December 3rd, 2012
  2. 2.
    ---
  3. 3.
     
  4. 4.
    A wonderful person by the name of "Baratone" narrated this story.
  5. 5.
    Providing that Vocaroo links can stand the test of time, here is the entire story read in a truly wonderful voice.
  6. 6.
     
  7. 7.
    I love this man. And so should you.
  8. 8.
    ---
  9. 9.
     
  10. 10.
    Part 1 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s04bjXXJHlVb
  11. 11.
    Part 2 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s07gCsY7JD9W
  12. 12.
    Part 3 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s0i6kZv1BjwV
  13. 13.
    Part 4 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s0vInx5y1auT
  14. 14.
    Part 5 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Z6djw9qDMz
  15. 15.
    Part 6 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s0gsVtsWMj6z
  16. 16.
    Part 7 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s0paO0lu1X9m
  17. 17.
    Part 8 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s0iGV7f5f8kZ
  18. 18.
    Part 9 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s0cM2AaEfuHO
  19. 19.
    Part 10 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s1u5UvMT9IM7
  20. 20.
     
  21. 21.
     
  22. 22.
    You can find more of Baratone's amazing work here:
  23. 23.
    http://pastebin.com/zpqW4fYc (Props to Domino for hosting the list).
  24. 24.
     
  25. 25.
    Baratone's Tumblr can also be found here:
  26. 26.
    http://misterbaratone.tumblr.com/
  27. 27.
    ---
  28. 28.
     
  29. 29.
     
  30. 30.
    >Day Darkness in Equestria
  31. 31.
    >Arise from your deep slumber
  32. 32.
    >Throw off the covers and stand up
  33. 33.
    >Stretch and go over to your bathroom mirror
  34. 34.
    >Stroke your chin and muse for a while
  35. 35.
    >Stare at the fully covered metal hulk looking back at you
  36. 36.
    >Yeah. You should stop sleeping in your armour.
  37. 37.
    >Can't take it off, though. Ponies will get you
  38. 38.
    >Shit Shave Shower
  39. 39.
    >By that you mean shit your pants, smear shaving cream all over your visor and wash it off with water under a showerhead
  40. 40.
    >Stomp downstairs, making sure to grab your trusty weapon from the coat hanger: Karamesh - Fury of the Dark Gods
  41. 41.
    >Sling the mighty blade over your shoulder and walk out the door
  42. 42.
    >Look around your front garden and observe your neighbour, Bon Bon
  43. 43.
    >Point the blade at her
  44. 44.
    TREMBLE BEFORE ME, WHELP. A NEW AGE OF SUFFERING AWAITS YOU AND YOUR MISBEGOTTEN KIND.
  45. 45.
    >"That's nice, dear. Have a great day!
  46. 46.
    Y-you too.
  47. 47.
    >Walk through your picket fence and march into Ponyville
  48. 48.
    >Ponies go about their lives as normal
  49. 49.
    >They pay you no mind
  50. 50.
    >It hurts a little
  51. 51.
    >You put a lot into your image, and yet all they do is smile and wave when you address them
  52. 52.
    >Back on Earth you were the ruler of all you saw
  53. 53.
    >Entire legions of men fell at your feet and you commanded the blackest of magics bestowed to you by the gods you so feverently worshipped.
  54. 54.
    >Here you would be lucky to scare a foal
  55. 55.
    >Sigh and march on
  56. 56.
    >It just gets so frustrating, you know? To go from so much to so little in such a short amount of time
  57. 57.
     
  58. 58.
    >Be Anon, the Bane of Mankind.
  59. 59.
    >Wake up in a strange new land after that foolish Paladin dared to harm you
  60. 60.
    >Look around
  61. 61.
    >Peaceful green countryside, see a village
  62. 62.
    >He merely teleported me to some quiet place, possibly so he could take the fortress.
  63. 63.
    >He will meet his end soon enough, but first, these villagers shall provide good sport
  64. 64.
    >Grasp your trusty blade and run into town screaming at the top of your lungs
  65. 65.
    >Notice that all the villagers are now small horses
  66. 66.
    >Don't care. Need blood.
  67. 67.
    >Charge at a purple one near a tree who's reading a book
  68. 68.
    >The ground cracks and trembles at your feet and your blade howls in anticipation of coming slaughter
  69. 69.
    >Swing the blade at it's head
  70. 70.
    >It stops dead in it's tracks, frozen by a purple aura
  71. 71.
    >The horse sips it's tea and puts down the book
  72. 72.
    >"Good morning, Sir! My name is Twilight Sparkle. What's yours?"
  73. 73.
    I AM ANON, DESTROYER OF HOPE AND ALSO YOUR RECKONING.
  74. 74.
    >"Great! Welcome to Ponyville. I'd be happy to show you around!"
  75. 75.
    >She picks you up with more magic, with you powerless to do anything about it, mainly because you're just so damn confused
  76. 76.
    >"This is the library, where I live. You can come to me if you need any help with anything."
  77. 77.
    >You both phase out of existence and reappear somewhere completely new
  78. 78.
    >"This is Sweet Apple Acres, and that's Applejack! Hey Applejack!"
  79. 79.
    >She waves at another horse wearing a hat
  80. 80.
    >"Howdy, Twilight! New friend?"
  81. 81.
    >"Yep! AJ, this is Anon. Destroyer of Hope and also my Reckoning"
  82. 82.
    >"He's gonna destroy your reckoning? What's a reckoning?"
  83. 83.
    >"I'm not sure what he meant either. But he seems nice, don't you agree?"
  84. 84.
    >AJ looks at you
  85. 85.
    >You're dressed from head to foot in Obsidian-black armour, crafted from the bones of fallen demons and enriched with the most powerful magics in the land. The blade in your hand is still screaming for blood and arcs of red lightning dance all over your armour
  86. 86.
    >"Eeyup, he sure does! Welcome to Ponyville, Anon!"
  87. 87.
    >By the 15 fabled gods. You're in hell.
  88. 88.
    >"Well, I'm gonna go show him around some more. Bye, Applejack!"
  89. 89.
    >You phase again and materialise in front of a small cottage
  90. 90.
    >"This is Fluttershy's house. She's so sweet!"
  91. 91.
    >Twilight knocks on the door
  92. 92.
    >It opens and another small horse is there.
  93. 93.
    >This one is yellow with pink hair
  94. 94.
    >It sickens you more than the others, though you're not sure why.
  95. 95.
    >"H-hello... Twilight. O-oh my~! What is that?"
  96. 96.
    >"This is Anon! Destroyer of my Reckoning. He's new around here."
  97. 97.
    >"Oh..."
  98. 98.
    >Fluttershy looks at you
  99. 99.
    >She bats her eyes and bites her lip
  100. 100.
    >Is she having a seizure?
  101. 101.
    >"Well, Mister. If you ever need anything... You can stop on by. I'd be happy to umm..."
  102. 102.
    >She licks her lips
  103. 103.
    >"Help you"
  104. 104.
    >That Paladin will suffer for all of eternity when you get back
  105. 105.
    >Just then you and Purple Hoss phase yet again.
  106. 106.
    >Now you're inside a shop surrounded by cakes
  107. 107.
    >Before Magenta Equine can speak you're assaulted by a Pink thing
  108. 108.
    >Unable to wave your sword around or scream, you float hopelessly beside Twilight, powerless to stop this hellspawn
  109. 109.
    >"Hi there!"
  110. 110.
    >You can't answer, so Twilight does for you
  111. 111.
    >"This is Anon! Destroyer of something. He's new"
  112. 112.
    >The pink one's eyes light up at the word "new" and she dissappears with a gasp, leaving you alone.
  113. 113.
    >The gods smile upon you this day
  114. 114.
    >"Typical Pinkie"
  115. 115.
    >You pop around a few more times
  116. 116.
    >You get insulted by a blue horse
  117. 117.
    >Covered in fabric by a white horse
  118. 118.
    >Prodded by 3 little horses
  119. 119.
    >Dragged into a building and given a house
  120. 120.
    >Before you know it you're sat in what is now your "living room" staring dazed at the wall on your sofa which is far too small
  121. 121.
     
  122. 122.
    >Back to the present
  123. 123.
    >It's hard to be taken seriously around here.
  124. 124.
    >You just don't know what it is that makes people so uninterested in you
  125. 125.
    >The most attention you've got since you were here is at a "party" that the pink thing hosted in your honour
  126. 126.
    >You thought it was the start of your new reign as ruler of these creatures, but it turns out everyone gets one.
  127. 127.
    >Stomp into Ponyville, making sure to wilt as many flowers with your presence on the way past
  128. 128.
    >Suddenly your blade speaks up
  129. 129.
    >It's changed since it came here with you
  130. 130.
    >It used to be a fountain of wisdom and knowledge from the gods themselves
  131. 131.
    >Its whispers helped you topple kingdoms and slay enemies you never dreamed of besting
  132. 132.
    >It was your greatest ally in the war against good, as long as you kept it's lust for blood satiated
  133. 133.
    >Recently though, it's been getting more... Desperate
  134. 134.
    >"Anon. Man, seriously. I need blood, bro. Just a little bit of blood, that's all!"
  135. 135.
    Not gonna happen, Karamesh.
  136. 136.
    >"Pleeease? Just kill one of the little ones, That'll do me for like, a day. I promise"
  137. 137.
    Nope.
  138. 138.
    >"Why not? We used to kill so many men a day. I never went hungry!"
  139. 139.
    You got fat. You could do with a diet
  140. 140.
    >"I'M A FUCKING SWORD"
  141. 141.
    You're a lesser titan trapped within a sword.
  142. 142.
    And I'm not killing anything
  143. 143.
    >"What happened to you man? You used to take on entire armies by yourself. You once raised a dragon from the dead just so you could kill it again, you remember that?"
  144. 144.
    Yeah. I remember...
  145. 145.
    >"Well what happened?"
  146. 146.
    >Sigh as you pass a group of waving ponies
  147. 147.
    >Give a half-attempted wave back at them
  148. 148.
    I gave up
  149. 149.
    >"You what?"
  150. 150.
    You heard me. What's the point, Karamesh? I'm an overlord with nothing to oversee. A dark lord with no lordship. A king with no kingdom... I'm a failure of a tyrant
  151. 151.
    >"Now you listen to me, Anon. Don't talk like that. It's this world, man. It's making you talk crazy. It would be so easy to just raze this village to the ground, then we'll find whoever's running the place and topple them, you know? Take over this world. Earth was boring anyway. We can start anew here!"
  152. 152.
    I don't know... Seems kinda pointless
  153. 153.
    >"How is it?"
  154. 154.
    I used to give men heart attacks just by looking at them. Here, i'm dressed in my legendary battle armour and they don't even bat an eyelid. They don't even pay any attention to you.
  155. 155.
    >"R-really?"
  156. 156.
    Yes. Really. Not one person has commented on you
  157. 157.
    >"That's harsh. All the more reason to make them fear us. Come on, Anon. Today's the day. Let's level this place."
  158. 158.
    No.
  159. 159.
    >"Why."
  160. 160.
    >Murmur something
  161. 161.
    >"What was that?"
  162. 162.
    I said I like it here. It's peaceful. It's... Nice... And I think our neighbour might have a thing for me
  163. 163.
    >"The green one with the crazy eyes?"
  164. 164.
    Yeah, her.
  165. 165.
    >"Don't touch it, man. She's got crazy eyes"
  166. 166.
    You really need some blood
  167. 167.
    >"I REALLY NEED SOME BLOOD PLEASE GIVE IT TO ME PLEASE"
  168. 168.
    >The demon starts crying
  169. 169.
    >You stroke the blade and shush it
  170. 170.
    There there, Karamesh... There there...
  171. 171.
    >"Umm, A-Anon? Are you t-talking to your sword?"
  172. 172.
    >Oh gods not again
  173. 173.
    >Turn around to see Fluttershy looking at you
  174. 174.
    Uhh. No?
  175. 175.
    >"O-oh... Sorry. I thought I just heard you call it Karamesh... Are swords your fetish?"
  176. 176.
    >Yes
  177. 177.
    No.
  178. 178.
    >"Ok... So uhh, do you want to pillage me? You know you want to!"
  179. 179.
    >She turns around and presents herself
  180. 180.
    >The Dark lord of all Mankind squeals like a girl
  181. 181.
    That's disgusting
  182. 182.
    >Fluttershy faces you again
  183. 183.
    >"Well umm. What is your fetish?"
  184. 184.
    Why would you even ask anyone that.
  185. 185.
    >"S-so I can... you know... umm..."
  186. 186.
    >She starts mumbling and stammering
  187. 187.
    >You make out the words "Hot" and "Dick" somewhere
  188. 188.
    >This is getting too uncomfortable, even for your tastes. And you once tortured an orphan just to make him cry.
  189. 189.
    I'm gonna go now, Fluttershy.
  190. 190.
    >"Please don't go..."
  191. 191.
    >She grabs one of your shoulder spikes
  192. 192.
    Get off me!
  193. 193.
    >As commanded, your dark armour sends a bolt of red energy coursing into her
  194. 194.
    >She screams and falls to the floor, twitching slightly
  195. 195.
    >Notice a wet patch between her sprawled legs
  196. 196.
    >Fuckin' horse.
  197. 197.
    >Walk into the middle of town and start thinking of things to do
  198. 198.
    >The Pinkie Pie sells good food, you could try her
  199. 199.
    >Karamesh recovers from his emotional rollercoaster ride
  200. 200.
    >"What did I miss?"
  201. 201.
    Fluttershy.
  202. 202.
    >"Did you kill her?"
  203. 203.
    You would have noticed if I'd have killed something
  204. 204.
    >"I dunno. I'm getting weaker by the day. This morning I couldn't feel my arms"
  205. 205.
    You don't have arms. You're a sword.
  206. 206.
    >"FUCK YOU I NEED BLOOD"
  207. 207.
    >It starts screaming again
  208. 208.
    >Glad you're the only one that can hear it
  209. 209.
    >Don't want to cause a scene
  210. 210.
    >Head on over to Pinkie Pie to get something to eat
  211. 211.
    >Listen to Karamesh scream and whine the whole way
  212. 212.
    >It's sad to hear your only friend lose his sanity
  213. 213.
    >Come to think of it, was he ever sane?
  214. 214.
    >You think about this on your way inside Sugarcube Corner
  215. 215.
    >"Hi, Anon! Want something to eat?"
  216. 216.
    Sure
  217. 217.
    >"DESTROY HER, PLEEEEASE!"
  218. 218.
    Shut up, Karamesh
  219. 219.
    >"Who?
  220. 220.
    Nothing
  221. 221.
    >"Well if you want anything, you're gonna have to do the thing!"
  222. 222.
    Please don't make me.
  223. 223.
    >"No cupcake if you don't!"
  224. 224.
    >Sigh
  225. 225.
    >Point at her
  226. 226.
    YOUR GRANDCHILDREN'S CHILDREN WILL FEEL YOUR PAIN AND AGONY IF YOU DO NOT HAND ME THAT CUPCAKE
  227. 227.
    >The store rumbled and red lightning sparks all around you
  228. 228.
    >The area you're stood is also a bit blackened
  229. 229.
    >The ponies in the cafe start clapping and Pinkie Pie giggles
  230. 230.
    >"That's the spirit!"
  231. 231.
    >One cupcake later you're heading towards Applejack's farm
  232. 232.
    >The quiet country roads never fail to calm you
  233. 233.
    >You really needed this.
  234. 234.
    >To unwind
  235. 235.
    >Never let it be known that dark overlords have an easy life.
  236. 236.
    >Fucking Paladins
  237. 237.
    >Trip over a rock and slide along the floor
  238. 238.
    >Karamesh wakes up
  239. 239.
    >"Yeah nice going, fatass"
  240. 240.
    >Damn he's grumpy
  241. 241.
    >Before you can respond a net falls over you
  242. 242.
    >"Aha! Got you!"
  243. 243.
    >Fluttershy stands in front of you, dripping slightly
  244. 244.
    >Shudder
  245. 245.
    >"N-now you're mine! So come with me, please or i-i'll hit you!"
  246. 246.
    Do it.
  247. 247.
    >She whimpers
  248. 248.
    Do it. Touch me again.
  249. 249.
    >"I-I'm warning you!"
  250. 250.
    Touch my armour.
  251. 251.
    >More whimpering.
  252. 252.
    >"L-last chance!"
  253. 253.
    JUST PUNCH ME
  254. 254.
    >She punches you
  255. 255.
    >The armour does its job and a torrent of arcane energy surges into her, sending her hurtling backwards into a tree
  256. 256.
    >She slumps to the base of the tree and starts twitching
  257. 257.
    >She violently convulses and the area between her legs goes soggy
  258. 258.
    Eww
  259. 259.
    >"That's nasty"
  260. 260.
    You feeling ok now?
  261. 261.
    >"A little, I guess. But I'm serious, Anon. I desperately need blood. I don't think I can survive without it."
  262. 262.
    I'll think of something
  263. 263.
    >"You'd better."
  264. 264.
    >It goes silent
  265. 265.
    >Stand up under the net
  266. 266.
    >It doesn't weigh a thing
  267. 267.
    >Look at Fluttershy, slouched against a tree unconscious
  268. 268.
    >Sigh
  269. 269.
    >Go over and pick her up
  270. 270.
    >Start walking towards her cottage with her in your arms
  271. 271.
    >She comes to
  272. 272.
    >"D-did I do it? Are we a couple now?"
  273. 273.
    No, Fluttershy. We're not.
  274. 274.
    >"O-oh..."
  275. 275.
    >She pouts
  276. 276.
    >Walk through Ponyville with her nestled snugly in your arms
  277. 277.
    >She starts talking about her animals and why you two would make a good couple
  278. 278.
    >You've never actually spoken to her this long before. It's normally just the odd word between... Whatever it is she keeps trying to do
  279. 279.
    >"Anon... Why do you always wear your armour?"
  280. 280.
    I don't trust anything enough to sleep without it
  281. 281.
    >"D-do you trust me? I won't hurt you..."
  282. 282.
    You just threw a net over me then punched me.
  283. 283.
    >"Y-you asked me too..."
  284. 284.
    But you did it anyway, knowing what would happen.
  285. 285.
    >"I just want to love you..."
  286. 286.
    >Love
  287. 287.
    >There's a word you haven't heard in a while
  288. 288.
    >Wonder what it means...
  289. 289.
    >Drop her off at her cottage
  290. 290.
    >She looks up at you
  291. 291.
    >"S-so are romantic walks through Ponyville after failed rape attempts your fetish, Anon?"
  292. 292.
    >Sigh
  293. 293.
    >Walk down the road
  294. 294.
    >Stop just at the end
  295. 295.
    >Raise Karamesh
  296. 296.
    >Slice a tree in half
  297. 297.
    >Unleash every spell you know from Fireballs, Toxic darts, Raising the dead to Transmuting on the tree
  298. 298.
    >Leave its smouldering, bubbling, golden obliterated remains for Fluttershy to see
  299. 299.
    >Walk back to your house
  300. 300.
    >Slam the front door shut
  301. 301.
    >Hang up Karamesh
  302. 302.
    >"ANON I NEED BLOOoooo..."
  303. 303.
    >Can't hear him now you don't hold him
  304. 304.
    >Sit on the sofa
  305. 305.
    >Stare at the wall
  306. 306.
    >Slowly take off your helmet
  307. 307.
    >Scratch your head
  308. 308.
    >Think back to what happened today
  309. 309.
    >Smile at one thing you learned
  310. 310.
    >Something that might fuel your desire to kill in the future and save your best friend
  311. 311.
    >Something that gives you a glimmer of hope.
  312. 312.
    I hate that fucking pony.
  313. 313.
     
  314. 314.
    End

[FLUTTERRAPE] Happy Birthday

by Nebulus

[FLUTTERRAPE] Science

by Nebulus

[ANON IN EQUESTRIA] Commando

by Nebulus

[FLUTTERRAPE] Three Anons One Pit

by Nebulus

[FLUTTERRAPE] Demon Swords and Dark Overlords

by Nebulus