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[FLUTTERRAPE] Demon Swords and Dark Overlords

By Nebulus
Created: 17th December 2020 05:20:36 PM

  1. Originally uploaded to Pastebin: December 3rd, 2012
  2. ---
  3.  
  4. A wonderful person by the name of "Baratone" narrated this story.
  5. Providing that Vocaroo links can stand the test of time, here is the entire story read in a truly wonderful voice.
  6.  
  7. I love this man. And so should you.
  8. ---
  9.  
  10.  
  11.  
  12. You can find more of Baratone's amazing work here:
  13. pastebin.com/zpqW4fYc  (Props to Domino for hosting the list).
  14.  
  15. Baratone's Tumblr can also be found here:
  16. ---
  17.  
  18.  
  19. >Day Darkness in Equestria
  20. >Arise from your deep slumber
  21. >Throw off the covers and stand up
  22. >Stretch and go over to your bathroom mirror
  23. >Stroke your chin and muse for a while
  24. >Stare at the fully covered metal hulk looking back at you
  25. >Yeah. You should stop sleeping in your armour.
  26. >Can't take it off, though. Ponies will get you
  27. >Shit Shave Shower
  28. >By that you mean shit your pants, smear shaving cream all over your visor and wash it off with water under a showerhead
  29. >Stomp downstairs, making sure to grab your trusty weapon from the coat hanger: Karamesh - Fury of the Dark Gods
  30. >Sling the mighty blade over your shoulder and walk out the door
  31. >Look around your front garden and observe your neighbour, Bon Bon
  32. >Point the blade at her
  33. TREMBLE BEFORE ME, WHELP. A NEW AGE OF SUFFERING AWAITS YOU AND YOUR MISBEGOTTEN KIND.
  34. >"That's nice, dear. Have a great day!
  35. Y-you too.
  36. >Walk through your picket fence and march into Ponyville
  37. >Ponies go about their lives as normal
  38. >They pay you no mind
  39. >It hurts a little
  40. >You put a lot into your image, and yet all they do is smile and wave when you address them
  41. >Back on Earth you were the ruler of all you saw
  42. >Entire legions of men fell at your feet and you commanded the blackest of magics bestowed to you by the gods you so feverently worshipped.
  43. >Here you would be lucky to scare a foal
  44. >Sigh and march on
  45. >It just gets so frustrating, you know? To go from so much to so little in such a short amount of time
  46.  
  47. 1/10
  48.  
  49. >Be Anon, the Bane of Mankind.
  50. >Wake up in a strange new land after that foolish Paladin dared to harm you
  51. >Look around
  52. >Peaceful green countryside, see a village
  53. >He merely teleported me to some quiet place, possibly so he could take the fortress.
  54. >He will meet his end soon enough, but first, these villagers shall provide good sport
  55. >Grasp your trusty blade and run into town screaming at the top of your lungs
  56. >Notice that all the villagers are now small horses
  57. >Don't care. Need blood.
  58. >Charge at a purple one near a tree who's reading a book
  59. >The ground cracks and trembles at your feet and your blade howls in anticipation of coming slaughter
  60. >Swing the blade at it's head
  61. >It stops dead in it's tracks, frozen by a purple aura
  62. >The horse sips it's tea and puts down the book
  63. >"Good morning, Sir! My name is Twilight Sparkle. What's yours?"
  64. I AM ANON, DESTROYER OF HOPE AND ALSO YOUR RECKONING.
  65. >"Great! Welcome to Ponyville. I'd be happy to show you around!"
  66. >She picks you up with more magic, with you powerless to do anything about it, mainly because you're just so damn confused
  67. >"This is the library, where I live. You can come to me if you need any help with anything."
  68. >You both phase out of existence and reappear somewhere completely new
  69. >"This is Sweet Apple Acres, and that's Applejack! Hey Applejack!"
  70. >She waves at another horse wearing a hat
  71. >"Howdy, Twilight! New friend?"
  72. >"Yep! AJ, this is Anon. Destroyer of Hope and also my Reckoning"
  73. >"He's gonna destroy your reckoning? What's a reckoning?"
  74. >"I'm not sure what he meant either. But he seems nice, don't you agree?"
  75. >AJ looks at you
  76.  
  77. 2/10
  78.  
  79. >You're dressed from head to foot in Obsidian-black armour, crafted from the bones of fallen demons and enriched with the most powerful magics in the land. The blade in your hand is still screaming for blood and arcs of red lightning dance all over your armour
  80. >"Eeyup, he sure does! Welcome to Ponyville, Anon!"
  81. >By the 15 fabled gods. You're in hell.
  82. >"Well, I'm gonna go show him around some more. Bye, Applejack!"
  83. >You phase again and materialise in front of a small cottage
  84. >"This is Fluttershy's house. She's so sweet!"
  85. >Twilight knocks on the door
  86. >It opens and another small horse is there.
  87. >This one is yellow with pink hair
  88. >It sickens you more than the others, though you're not sure why.
  89. >"H-hello... Twilight. O-oh my~! What is that?"
  90. >"This is Anon! Destroyer of my Reckoning. He's new around here."
  91. >"Oh..."
  92. >Fluttershy looks at you
  93. >She bats her eyes and bites her lip
  94. >Is she having a seizure?
  95. >"Well, Mister. If you ever need anything... You can stop on by. I'd be happy to umm..."
  96. >She licks her lips
  97. >"Help you"
  98. >That Paladin will suffer for all of eternity when you get back
  99. >Just then you and Purple Hoss phase yet again.
  100. >Now you're inside a shop surrounded by cakes
  101. >Before Magenta Equine can speak you're assaulted by a Pink thing
  102. >Unable to wave your sword around or scream, you float hopelessly beside Twilight, powerless to stop this hellspawn
  103. >"Hi there!"
  104. >You can't answer, so Twilight does for you
  105. >"This is Anon! Destroyer of something. He's new"
  106.  
  107. 3/10
  108.  
  109. >The pink one's eyes light up at the word "new" and she dissappears with a gasp, leaving you alone.
  110. >The gods smile upon you this day
  111. >"Typical Pinkie"
  112. >You pop around a few more times
  113. >You get insulted by a blue horse
  114. >Covered in fabric by a white horse
  115. >Prodded by 3 little horses
  116. >Dragged into a building and given a house
  117. >Before you know it you're sat in what is now your "living room" staring dazed at the wall on your sofa which is far too small
  118.  
  119. >Back to the present
  120. >It's hard to be taken seriously around here.
  121. >You just don't know what it is that makes people so uninterested in you
  122. >The most attention you've got since you were here is at a "party" that the pink thing hosted in your honour
  123. >You thought it was the start of your new reign as ruler of these creatures, but it turns out everyone gets one.
  124. >Stomp into Ponyville, making sure to wilt as many flowers with your presence on the way past
  125. >Suddenly your blade speaks up
  126. >It's changed since it came here with you
  127. >It used to be a fountain of wisdom and knowledge from the gods themselves
  128. >Its whispers helped you topple kingdoms and slay enemies you never dreamed of besting
  129. >It was your greatest ally in the war against good, as long as you kept it's lust for blood satiated
  130. >Recently though, it's been getting more... Desperate
  131.  
  132. 4/10
  133.  
  134. >"Anon. Man, seriously. I need blood, bro. Just a little bit of blood, that's all!"
  135. Not gonna happen, Karamesh.
  136. >"Pleeease? Just kill one of the little ones, That'll do me for like, a day. I promise"
  137. Nope.
  138. >"Why not? We used to kill so many men a day. I never went hungry!"
  139. You got fat. You could do with a diet
  140. >"I'M A FUCKING SWORD"
  141. You're a lesser titan trapped within a sword.
  142. And I'm not killing anything
  143. >"What happened to you man? You used to take on entire armies by yourself. You once raised a dragon from the dead just so you could kill it again, you remember that?"
  144. Yeah. I remember...
  145. >"Well what happened?"
  146. >Sigh as you pass a group of waving ponies
  147. >Give a half-attempted wave back at them
  148. I gave up
  149. >"You what?"
  150. You heard me. What's the point, Karamesh? I'm an overlord with nothing to oversee. A dark lord with no lordship. A king with no kingdom... I'm a failure of a tyrant
  151. >"Now you listen to me, Anon. Don't talk like that. It's this world, man. It's making you talk crazy. It would be so easy to just raze this village to the ground, then we'll find whoever's running the place and topple them, you know? Take over this world. Earth was boring anyway. We can start anew here!"
  152. I don't know... Seems kinda pointless
  153. >"How is it?"
  154. I used to give men heart attacks just by looking at them. Here, i'm dressed in my legendary battle armour and they don't even bat an eyelid. They don't even pay any attention to you.
  155. >"R-really?"
  156. Yes. Really. Not one person has commented on you
  157. >"That's harsh. All the more reason to make them fear us. Come on, Anon. Today's the day. Let's level this place."
  158. No.
  159.  
  160. 5/10
  161.  
  162. >"Why."
  163. >Murmur something
  164. >"What was that?"
  165. I said I like it here. It's peaceful. It's... Nice... And I think our neighbour might have a thing for me
  166. >"The green one with the crazy eyes?"
  167. Yeah, her.
  168. >"Don't touch it, man. She's got crazy eyes"
  169. You really need some blood
  170. >"I REALLY NEED SOME BLOOD PLEASE GIVE IT TO ME PLEASE"
  171. >The demon starts crying
  172. >You stroke the blade and shush it
  173. There there, Karamesh... There there...
  174. >"Umm, A-Anon? Are you t-talking to your sword?"
  175. >Oh gods not again
  176. >Turn around to see Fluttershy looking at you
  177. Uhh. No?
  178. >"O-oh... Sorry. I thought I just heard you call it Karamesh... Are swords your fetish?"
  179. >Yes
  180. No.
  181. >"Ok... So uhh, do you want to pillage me? You know you want to!"
  182. >She turns around and presents herself
  183. >The Dark lord of all Mankind squeals like a girl
  184. That's disgusting
  185. >Fluttershy faces you again
  186. >"Well umm. What is your fetish?"
  187. Why would you even ask anyone that.
  188. >"S-so I can... you know... umm..."
  189. >She starts mumbling and stammering
  190. >You make out the words "Hot" and "Dick" somewhere
  191. >This is getting too uncomfortable, even for your tastes. And you once tortured an orphan just to make him cry.
  192. I'm gonna go now, Fluttershy.
  193. >"Please don't go..."
  194. >She grabs one of your shoulder spikes
  195. Get off me!
  196. >As commanded, your dark armour sends a bolt of red energy coursing into her
  197. >She screams and falls to the floor, twitching slightly
  198. >Notice a wet patch between her sprawled legs
  199. >Fuckin' horse.
  200.  
  201. 6/10
  202.  
  203. >Walk into the middle of town and start thinking of things to do
  204. >The Pinkie Pie sells good food, you could try her
  205. >Karamesh recovers from his emotional rollercoaster ride
  206. >"What did I miss?"
  207. Fluttershy.
  208. >"Did you kill her?"
  209. You would have noticed if I'd have killed something
  210. >"I dunno. I'm getting weaker by the day. This morning I couldn't feel my arms"
  211. You don't have arms. You're a sword.
  212. >"FUCK YOU I NEED BLOOD"
  213. >It starts screaming again
  214. >Glad you're the only one that can hear it
  215. >Don't want to cause a scene
  216. >Head on over to Pinkie Pie to get something to eat
  217. >Listen to Karamesh scream and whine the whole way
  218. >It's sad to hear your only friend lose his sanity
  219. >Come to think of it, was he ever sane?
  220. >You think about this on your way inside Sugarcube Corner
  221. >"Hi, Anon! Want something to eat?"
  222. Sure
  223. >"DESTROY HER, PLEEEEASE!"
  224. Shut up, Karamesh
  225. >"Who?
  226. Nothing
  227. >"Well if you want anything, you're gonna have to do the thing!"
  228. Please don't make me.
  229. >"No cupcake if you don't!"
  230. >Sigh
  231. >Point at her
  232. YOUR GRANDCHILDREN'S CHILDREN WILL FEEL YOUR PAIN AND AGONY IF YOU DO NOT HAND ME THAT CUPCAKE
  233. >The store rumbled and red lightning sparks all around you
  234. >The area you're stood is also a bit blackened
  235. >The ponies in the cafe start clapping and Pinkie Pie giggles
  236. >"That's the spirit!"
  237.  
  238. 7/10
  239.  
  240. >One cupcake later you're heading towards Applejack's farm
  241. >The quiet country roads never fail to calm you
  242. >You really needed this.
  243. >To unwind
  244. >Never let it be known that dark overlords have an easy life.
  245. >Fucking Paladins
  246. >Trip over a rock and slide along the floor
  247. >Karamesh wakes up
  248. >"Yeah nice going, fatass"
  249. >Damn he's grumpy
  250. >Before you can respond a net falls over you
  251. >"Aha! Got you!"
  252. >Fluttershy stands in front of you, dripping slightly
  253. >Shudder
  254. >"N-now you're mine! So come with me, please or i-i'll hit you!"
  255. Do it.
  256. >She whimpers
  257. Do it. Touch me again.
  258. >"I-I'm warning you!"
  259. Touch my armour.
  260. >More whimpering.
  261. >"L-last chance!"
  262. JUST PUNCH ME
  263. >She punches you
  264. >The armour does its job and a torrent of arcane energy surges into her, sending her hurtling backwards into a tree
  265. >She slumps to the base of the tree and starts twitching
  266. >She violently convulses and the area between her legs goes soggy
  267. Eww
  268. >"That's nasty"
  269. You feeling ok now?
  270. >"A little, I guess. But I'm serious, Anon. I desperately need blood. I don't think I can survive without it."
  271. I'll think of something
  272. >"You'd better."
  273. >It goes silent
  274.  
  275. 8/10
  276.  
  277. >Stand up under the net
  278. >It doesn't weigh a thing
  279. >Look at Fluttershy, slouched against a tree unconscious
  280. >Sigh
  281. >Go over and pick her up
  282. >Start walking towards her cottage with her in your arms
  283. >She comes to
  284. >"D-did I do it? Are we a couple now?"
  285. No, Fluttershy. We're not.
  286. >"O-oh..."
  287. >She pouts
  288. >Walk through Ponyville with her nestled snugly in your arms
  289. >She starts talking about her animals and why you two would make a good couple
  290. >You've never actually spoken to her this long before. It's normally just the odd word between... Whatever it is she keeps trying to do
  291. >"Anon... Why do you always wear your armour?"
  292. I don't trust anything enough to sleep without it
  293. >"D-do you trust me? I won't hurt you..."
  294. You just threw a net over me then punched me.
  295. >"Y-you asked me too..."
  296. But you did it anyway, knowing what would happen.
  297. >"I just want to love you..."
  298.  
  299. 9/10
  300.  
  301. >Love
  302. >There's a word you haven't heard in a while
  303. >Wonder what it means...
  304. >Drop her off at her cottage
  305. >She looks up at you
  306. >"S-so are romantic walks through Ponyville after failed rape attempts your fetish, Anon?"
  307. >Sigh
  308. >Walk down the road
  309. >Stop just at the end
  310. >Raise Karamesh
  311. >Slice a tree in half
  312. >Unleash every spell you know from Fireballs, Toxic darts, Raising the dead to Transmuting on the tree
  313. >Leave its smouldering, bubbling, golden obliterated remains for Fluttershy to see
  314. >Walk back to your house
  315. >Slam the front door shut
  316. >Hang up Karamesh
  317. >"ANON I NEED BLOOoooo..."
  318. >Can't hear him now you don't hold him
  319. >Sit on the sofa
  320. >Stare at the wall
  321. >Slowly take off your helmet
  322. >Scratch your head
  323. >Think back to what happened today
  324. >Smile at one thing you learned
  325. >Something that might fuel your desire to kill in the future and save your best friend
  326. >Something that gives you a glimmer of hope.
  327. I hate that fucking pony.
  328.  
  329.  
  330. 10/10
  331. End
/FLUTTERRAPE/

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