[FLUTTERRAPE] Demon Swords and Dark Overlords


                                            Originally uploaded to Pastebin: December 3rd, 2012

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                                            A wonderful person by the name of "Baratone" narrated this story.

                                            Providing that Vocaroo links can stand the test of time, here is the entire story read in a truly wonderful voice.


                                            I love this man. And so should you.

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                                            Part 1 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s04bjXXJHlVb

                                            Part 2 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s07gCsY7JD9W

                                            Part 3 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s0i6kZv1BjwV

                                            Part 4 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s0vInx5y1auT

                                            Part 5 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Z6djw9qDMz

                                            Part 6 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s0gsVtsWMj6z

                                            Part 7 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s0paO0lu1X9m

                                            Part 8 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s0iGV7f5f8kZ

                                            Part 9 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s0cM2AaEfuHO

                                            Part 10 - http://vocaroo.com/i/s1u5UvMT9IM7


                                            You can find more of Baratone's amazing work here:

                                            http://pastebin.com/zpqW4fYc  (Props to Domino for hosting the list).


                                            Baratone's Tumblr can also be found here:

                                            http://misterbaratone.tumblr.com/

                                            ---


                                            >Day Darkness in Equestria

                                            >Arise from your deep slumber

                                            >Throw off the covers and stand up

                                            >Stretch and go over to your bathroom mirror

                                            >Stroke your chin and muse for a while

                                            >Stare at the fully covered metal hulk looking back at you

                                            >Yeah. You should stop sleeping in your armour.

                                            >Can't take it off, though. Ponies will get you

                                            >Shit Shave Shower

                                            >By that you mean shit your pants, smear shaving cream all over your visor and wash it off with water under a showerhead

                                            >Stomp downstairs, making sure to grab your trusty weapon from the coat hanger: Karamesh - Fury of the Dark Gods

                                            >Sling the mighty blade over your shoulder and walk out the door

                                            >Look around your front garden and observe your neighbour, Bon Bon

                                            >Point the blade at her

                                            TREMBLE BEFORE ME, WHELP. A NEW AGE OF SUFFERING AWAITS YOU AND YOUR MISBEGOTTEN KIND.

                                            >"That's nice, dear. Have a great day!

                                            Y-you too.

                                            >Walk through your picket fence and march into Ponyville

                                            >Ponies go about their lives as normal

                                            >They pay you no mind

                                            >It hurts a little

                                            >You put a lot into your image, and yet all they do is smile and wave when you address them

                                            >Back on Earth you were the ruler of all you saw

                                            >Entire legions of men fell at your feet and you commanded the blackest of magics bestowed to you by the gods you so feverently worshipped.

                                            >Here you would be lucky to scare a foal

                                            >Sigh and march on

                                            >It just gets so frustrating, you know? To go from so much to so little in such a short amount of time


                                            >Be Anon, the Bane of Mankind.

                                            >Wake up in a strange new land after that foolish Paladin dared to harm you

                                            >Look around

                                            >Peaceful green countryside, see a village

                                            >He merely teleported me to some quiet place, possibly so he could take the fortress.

                                            >He will meet his end soon enough, but first, these villagers shall provide good sport

                                            >Grasp your trusty blade and run into town screaming at the top of your lungs

                                            >Notice that all the villagers are now small horses

                                            >Don't care. Need blood.

                                            >Charge at a purple one near a tree who's reading a book

                                            >The ground cracks and trembles at your feet and your blade howls in anticipation of coming slaughter

                                            >Swing the blade at it's head

                                            >It stops dead in it's tracks, frozen by a purple aura

                                            >The horse sips it's tea and puts down the book

                                            >"Good morning, Sir! My name is Twilight Sparkle. What's yours?"

                                            I AM ANON, DESTROYER OF HOPE AND ALSO YOUR RECKONING.

                                            >"Great! Welcome to Ponyville. I'd be happy to show you around!"

                                            >She picks you up with more magic, with you powerless to do anything about it, mainly because you're just so damn confused

                                            >"This is the library, where I live. You can come to me if you need any help with anything."

                                            >You both phase out of existence and reappear somewhere completely new

                                            >"This is Sweet Apple Acres, and that's Applejack! Hey Applejack!"

                                            >She waves at another horse wearing a hat

                                            >"Howdy, Twilight! New friend?"

                                            >"Yep! AJ, this is Anon. Destroyer of Hope and also my Reckoning"

                                            >"He's gonna destroy your reckoning? What's a reckoning?"

                                            >"I'm not sure what he meant either. But he seems nice, don't you agree?"

                                            >AJ looks at you

                                            >You're dressed from head to foot in Obsidian-black armour, crafted from the bones of fallen demons and enriched with the most powerful magics in the land. The blade in your hand is still screaming for blood and arcs of red lightning dance all over your armour

                                            >"Eeyup, he sure does! Welcome to Ponyville, Anon!"

                                            >By the 15 fabled gods. You're in hell.

                                            >"Well, I'm gonna go show him around some more. Bye, Applejack!"

                                            >You phase again and materialise in front of a small cottage

                                            >"This is Fluttershy's house. She's so sweet!"

                                            >Twilight knocks on the door

                                            >It opens and another small horse is there.

                                            >This one is yellow with pink hair

                                            >It sickens you more than the others, though you're not sure why.

                                            >"H-hello... Twilight. O-oh my~! What is that?"

                                            >"This is Anon! Destroyer of my Reckoning. He's new around here."

                                            >"Oh..."

                                            >Fluttershy looks at you

                                            >She bats her eyes and bites her lip

                                            >Is she having a seizure?

                                            >"Well, Mister. If you ever need anything... You can stop on by. I'd be happy to umm..."

                                            >She licks her lips

                                            >"Help you"

                                            >That Paladin will suffer for all of eternity when you get back

                                            >Just then you and Purple Hoss phase yet again.

                                            >Now you're inside a shop surrounded by cakes

                                            >Before Magenta Equine can speak you're assaulted by a Pink thing

                                            >Unable to wave your sword around or scream, you float hopelessly beside Twilight, powerless to stop this hellspawn

                                            >"Hi there!"

                                            >You can't answer, so Twilight does for you

                                            >"This is Anon! Destroyer of something. He's new"

                                            >The pink one's eyes light up at the word "new" and she dissappears with a gasp, leaving you alone.

                                            >The gods smile upon you this day

                                            >"Typical Pinkie"

                                            >You pop around a few more times

                                            >You get insulted by a blue horse

                                            >Covered in fabric by a white horse

                                            >Prodded by 3 little horses

                                            >Dragged into a building and given a house

                                            >Before you know it you're sat in what is now your "living room" staring dazed at the wall on your sofa which is far too small


                                            >Back to the present

                                            >It's hard to be taken seriously around here.

                                            >You just don't know what it is that makes people so uninterested in you

                                            >The most attention you've got since you were here is at a "party" that the pink thing hosted in your honour

                                            >You thought it was the start of your new reign as ruler of these creatures, but it turns out everyone gets one.

                                            >Stomp into Ponyville, making sure to wilt as many flowers with your presence on the way past

                                            >Suddenly your blade speaks up

                                            >It's changed since it came here with you

                                            >It used to be a fountain of wisdom and knowledge from the gods themselves

                                            >Its whispers helped you topple kingdoms and slay enemies you never dreamed of besting

                                            >It was your greatest ally in the war against good, as long as you kept it's lust for blood satiated

                                            >Recently though, it's been getting more... Desperate

                                            >"Anon. Man, seriously. I need blood, bro. Just a little bit of blood, that's all!"

                                            Not gonna happen, Karamesh.

                                            >"Pleeease? Just kill one of the little ones, That'll do me for like, a day. I promise"

                                            Nope.

                                            >"Why not? We used to kill so many men a day. I never went hungry!"

                                            You got fat. You could do with a diet

                                            >"I'M A FUCKING SWORD"

                                            You're a lesser titan trapped within a sword.

                                            And I'm not killing anything

                                            >"What happened to you man? You used to take on entire armies by yourself. You once raised a dragon from the dead just so you could kill it again, you remember that?"

                                            Yeah. I remember...

                                            >"Well what happened?"

                                            >Sigh as you pass a group of waving ponies

                                            >Give a half-attempted wave back at them

                                            I gave up

                                            >"You what?"

                                            You heard me. What's the point, Karamesh? I'm an overlord with nothing to oversee. A dark lord with no lordship. A king with no kingdom... I'm a failure of a tyrant

                                            >"Now you listen to me, Anon. Don't talk like that. It's this world, man. It's making you talk crazy. It would be so easy to just raze this village to the ground, then we'll find whoever's running the place and topple them, you know? Take over this world. Earth was boring anyway. We can start anew here!"

                                            I don't know... Seems kinda pointless

                                            >"How is it?"

                                            I used to give men heart attacks just by looking at them. Here, i'm dressed in my legendary battle armour and they don't even bat an eyelid. They don't even pay any attention to you.

                                            >"R-really?"

                                            Yes. Really. Not one person has commented on you

                                            >"That's harsh. All the more reason to make them fear us. Come on, Anon. Today's the day. Let's level this place."

                                            No.

                                            >"Why."

                                            >Murmur something

                                            >"What was that?"

                                            I said I like it here. It's peaceful. It's... Nice... And I think our neighbour might have a thing for me

                                            >"The green one with the crazy eyes?"

                                            Yeah, her.

                                            >"Don't touch it, man. She's got crazy eyes"

                                            You really need some blood

                                            >"I REALLY NEED SOME BLOOD PLEASE GIVE IT TO ME PLEASE"

                                            >The demon starts crying

                                            >You stroke the blade and shush it

                                            There there, Karamesh... There there...

                                            >"Umm, A-Anon? Are you t-talking to your sword?"

                                            >Oh gods not again

                                            >Turn around to see Fluttershy looking at you

                                            Uhh. No?

                                            >"O-oh... Sorry. I thought I just heard you call it Karamesh... Are swords your fetish?"

                                            >Yes

                                            No.

                                            >"Ok... So uhh, do you want to pillage me? You know you want to!"

                                            >She turns around and presents herself

                                            >The Dark lord of all Mankind squeals like a girl

                                            That's disgusting

                                            >Fluttershy faces you again

                                            >"Well umm. What is your fetish?"

                                            Why would you even ask anyone that.

                                            >"S-so I can... you know... umm..."

                                            >She starts mumbling and stammering

                                            >You make out the words "Hot" and "Dick" somewhere

                                            >This is getting too uncomfortable, even for your tastes. And you once tortured an orphan just to make him cry.

                                            I'm gonna go now, Fluttershy.

                                            >"Please don't go..."

                                            >She grabs one of your shoulder spikes

                                            Get off me!

                                            >As commanded, your dark armour sends a bolt of red energy coursing into her

                                            >She screams and falls to the floor, twitching slightly

                                            >Notice a wet patch between her sprawled legs

                                            >Fuckin' horse.

                                            >Walk into the middle of town and start thinking of things to do

                                            >The Pinkie Pie sells good food, you could try her

                                            >Karamesh recovers from his emotional rollercoaster ride

                                            >"What did I miss?"

                                            Fluttershy.

                                            >"Did you kill her?"

                                            You would have noticed if I'd have killed something

                                            >"I dunno. I'm getting weaker by the day. This morning I couldn't feel my arms"

                                            You don't have arms. You're a sword.

                                            >"FUCK YOU I NEED BLOOD"

                                            >It starts screaming again

                                            >Glad you're the only one that can hear it

                                            >Don't want to cause a scene

                                            >Head on over to Pinkie Pie to get something to eat

                                            >Listen to Karamesh scream and whine the whole way

                                            >It's sad to hear your only friend lose his sanity

                                            >Come to think of it, was he ever sane?

                                            >You think about this on your way inside Sugarcube Corner

                                            >"Hi, Anon! Want something to eat?"

                                            Sure

                                            >"DESTROY HER, PLEEEEASE!"

                                            Shut up, Karamesh

                                            >"Who?

                                            Nothing

                                            >"Well if you want anything, you're gonna have to do the thing!"

                                            Please don't make me.

                                            >"No cupcake if you don't!"

                                            >Sigh

                                            >Point at her

                                            YOUR GRANDCHILDREN'S CHILDREN WILL FEEL YOUR PAIN AND AGONY IF YOU DO NOT HAND ME THAT CUPCAKE

                                            >The store rumbled and red lightning sparks all around you

                                            >The area you're stood is also a bit blackened

                                            >The ponies in the cafe start clapping and Pinkie Pie giggles

                                            >"That's the spirit!"

                                            >One cupcake later you're heading towards Applejack's farm

                                            >The quiet country roads never fail to calm you

                                            >You really needed this.

                                            >To unwind

                                            >Never let it be known that dark overlords have an easy life.

                                            >Fucking Paladins

                                            >Trip over a rock and slide along the floor

                                            >Karamesh wakes up

                                            >"Yeah nice going, fatass"

                                            >Damn he's grumpy

                                            >Before you can respond a net falls over you

                                            >"Aha! Got you!"

                                            >Fluttershy stands in front of you, dripping slightly

                                            >Shudder

                                            >"N-now you're mine! So come with me, please or i-i'll hit you!"

                                            Do it.

                                            >She whimpers

                                            Do it. Touch me again.

                                            >"I-I'm warning you!"

                                            Touch my armour.

                                            >More whimpering.

                                            >"L-last chance!"

                                            JUST PUNCH ME

                                            >She punches you

                                            >The armour does its job and a torrent of arcane energy surges into her, sending her hurtling backwards into a tree

                                            >She slumps to the base of the tree and starts twitching

                                            >She violently convulses and the area between her legs goes soggy

                                            Eww

                                            >"That's nasty"

                                            You feeling ok now?

                                            >"A little, I guess. But I'm serious, Anon. I desperately need blood. I don't think I can survive without it."

                                            I'll think of something

                                            >"You'd better."

                                            >It goes silent

                                            >Stand up under the net

                                            >It doesn't weigh a thing

                                            >Look at Fluttershy, slouched against a tree unconscious

                                            >Sigh

                                            >Go over and pick her up

                                            >Start walking towards her cottage with her in your arms

                                            >She comes to

                                            >"D-did I do it? Are we a couple now?"

                                            No, Fluttershy. We're not.

                                            >"O-oh..."

                                            >She pouts

                                            >Walk through Ponyville with her nestled snugly in your arms

                                            >She starts talking about her animals and why you two would make a good couple

                                            >You've never actually spoken to her this long before. It's normally just the odd word between... Whatever it is she keeps trying to do

                                            >"Anon... Why do you always wear your armour?"

                                            I don't trust anything enough to sleep without it

                                            >"D-do you trust me? I won't hurt you..."

                                            You just threw a net over me then punched me.

                                            >"Y-you asked me too..."

                                            But you did it anyway, knowing what would happen.

                                            >"I just want to love you..."

                                            >Love

                                            >There's a word you haven't heard in a while

                                            >Wonder what it means...

                                            >Drop her off at her cottage

                                            >She looks up at you

                                            >"S-so are romantic walks through Ponyville after failed rape attempts your fetish, Anon?"

                                            >Sigh

                                            >Walk down the road

                                            >Stop just at the end

                                            >Raise Karamesh

                                            >Slice a tree in half

                                            >Unleash every spell you know from Fireballs, Toxic darts, Raising the dead to Transmuting on the tree

                                            >Leave its smouldering, bubbling, golden obliterated remains for Fluttershy to see

                                            >Walk back to your house

                                            >Slam the front door shut

                                            >Hang up Karamesh

                                            >"ANON I NEED BLOOoooo..."

                                            >Can't hear him now you don't hold him

                                            >Sit on the sofa

                                            >Stare at the wall

                                            >Slowly take off your helmet

                                            >Scratch your head

                                            >Think back to what happened today

                                            >Smile at one thing you learned

                                            >Something that might fuel your desire to kill in the future and save your best friend

                                            >Something that gives you a glimmer of hope.

                                            I hate that fucking pony.


                                            End