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Unrequited Muffin

By ffanon
Created: 2022-08-03 21:59:59
Updated: 2023-04-15 19:52:58
Expiry: Never
anonsadromancederpy hoovescheerileelimestonederpyaielimestone piemrs. cake

  1. >Derpy Hooves has had a crush on Anon ever since he came to Equestria
  2. >Although she's a welcome part of the Ponyville community, she has never found a mate
  3. >Anon works at Sugarcube Corner and always makes the best blueberry muffins. They remind her of her mother's
  4. >As the muffin enjoyer that she is, she frequents the shop quite a bit and talks to Anon when she can
  5. >No pony, or man in this case, has ever made her feel this warmth in her heart before
  6. >Derpy knows that she's in love with Anon but doesn't know how to express herself
  7. >She goes to Rarity for advice
  8. >Rarity is absolutely delighted to hear about Derpy's gushing heart and vows to assist
  9. >The first course of action is to fit and make Derpy a pretty dress
  10. >To Derpy's surprise, Rarity pointed out that her normal attire or mailmare uniform were not up to snuff and clearly wouldn't do
  11. >And so Rarity spent the next several days making the lovey dovey pony the dress of her dreams
  12. >With dress in hoof, Derpy was as giddy as a filly at a candy shop
  13. >Now it was up to Derpy to lay it on thick with Anon
  14. >Rarity knows everypony's business in town and has good word that Anon has been single ever since he arrived
  15. >Well, except for that awkward fling he had with Lyra
  16. >Rarity asked for some inside information from Pinky and Anon is getting off early this upcoming Tuesday
  17. >The big day is here and Rarity helps Derpy into the brand new dress
  18. >She looks stunning, even Rarity is surprised at how beautiful she is
  19. >Filled with some extra confidence from her friend, Derpy heads off to the bakery
  20. >She blushes as she thinks of Anon, excited and feeling a sense of daring
  21. >Now arriving at her destination, a bit of fear grips her
  22. >Almost too scared to open the door, she thinks about turning back and going home
  23. >She's filled with a sense of dread, thoughts flooding through her mind. "What if Anon doesn't like me?"
  24. >Shrugging that aside, she scrunches her face and opens the door to the Cake's shop
  25. >The sweet aroma of baked goods hits her nostrils and she can't help but smile
  26. >She sees Anon walking up to her and she freezes
  27. >"Oh hey Derp, here for some more muffins? I just finished my last batch and am out for the day. Just check at the counter with Mr. Cake"
  28. >With a nonchalant smile Anon walks past Derpy and exits out the front door
  29. >Derpy stands there for a moment unsure of what to do
  30. >In reality she can't move a muscle and wishes Rarity was there to direct her to Anon's heart
  31. >A tear falls down her face but she snaps out of it when a customer asks her politely to move away from blocking the door
  32. >It's Cheerilee and she gives Derpy a concerned look
  33. >"Are you okay dear?"
  34. >Derpy composes herself and regains her focus
  35. "Yes! Sorry for getting in the way, I was just leaving"
  36. >Cheerliee nods and moves along into the short line
  37. >Derpy leaves the Cake's shop, heart racing
  38. >She sees anon in the distance and runs after him
  39. "A-anon...Anon!!"
  40. >Anon hears somepony calling his name and turns around
  41. >He sees a teary eyed pony in a dress charging full speed in his direction
  42. >He thinks it's Derpy but isn't sure, whoever it is seems to be wearing some fancy dress?
  43. >With some confusion Anon stands there just looking on at the pony coming towards him
  44. "...Anon..."
  45. >Slightly out of breath, Derpy is now standing in front of him
  46. >"Derpy..? Are you okay? And what's with the dress?"
  47. >Her left eye looks up into his eyes, her right eye drifting off towards the sky
  48. "I love you!"
  49. >This sudden proclamation is followed by a deafening silence
  50. >Now with both of her eyes narrowed and staring directly at Anon, a tear drips down her cheek
  51. >After some more uncomfortable silence, Derpy continues
  52. >She recalls practicing her speech with Rarity but the adrenaline rush overrides her memorized lines
  53. "I like you...ever since you came here I've had feelings for you. You are sweet and kind, and you make the best muffins..."
  54. >Anon is in a slight state of shock
  55. >Well, that's an understatement, he stands there unable to say a word
  56. >To the credit of Derpy's determination she's not stopping now
  57. "I want you to be my special somepony, I want you to bake muffins at my house...I want you to hold my hoof..."
  58. >"Look, Derpy..."
  59. >Anon tries to talk but Derpy cuts him off
  60. "I want you to kiss me and cuddle me...I want you in my life Anon"
  61. >Anon grimaces and he shuffles on his feet awkwardly
  62. >"You are already in my life, you come to the bakery all the time and I enjoy our conversations...but I had no idea you felt that way about me"
  63. >More uncomfortable silence
  64. >Derpy doesn't get the hint yet and smiles up at Anon as another tear slides off her cheek
  65. "I love you so much, will you be my special somepony?"
  66. >"Derpy, this is all really sudden.."
  67. >Before he can finish his sentence Derpy cuts him off again
  68. "Don't worry we can take things slow! I've actually never had a special somepony before so I'd rather it that way"
  69. >"No, I meant that I don't know what to say here exactly"
  70. "W-what?"
  71. >Derpy stutters as she realizes that maybe things aren't going as planned, her fears starting to reignite
  72. >"Um, I think you are great and that anypony should feel jealous of me right now. But..."
  73. >Derpy looks at Anon and asks innocently
  74. "B-but?"
  75. >"I'm already in love with another mare, I'm sorry."
  76. >Without any warning, tears cascade down her warm blushing cheeks
  77. >Derpy stands there unable to move or speak
  78. >"I'm sorry Derpy, I've had to keep my relationship a secret because her parents wouldn't approve. You're a fantastic pony and I hope we can still be friends"
  79. >Anon goes to pat her head but she flinches
  80. >Derpy looks up at Anon, eyes like rough rapids gushing
  81. >She tries to say something but it just comes out as a despairing moan
  82. >Completely crushed and embarrassed, Derpy flies off in a rush
  83.  
  84. >Derpy spent the next two days in isolation
  85. >She didn't show up to work nor even step outside her house
  86. >She spent day and night weeping in her bed, thinking about Anon
  87. >Her stomach started grumbling, she had lost her appetite entirely and hadn't eaten a morsel
  88. >She managed to pull herself out of bed and go to the kitchen
  89. >Preheating the oven she then opened the cupboard and pulled out a large mixing bowl
  90. >Next some flour, sugar, salt and other ingredients
  91. >With interim sniffling Derpy was starting to feel a little better, making muffins was one of her favorite things to do
  92. >As she begins to stir her mix she reminisces about when she was a young filly and would help her mom bake
  93. >They would bake cakes, cookies and all sorts of goodies but muffins were always her favorite
  94. >Now in better spirits she pours the mix into her muffin tray
  95. >Her face scrunches for a moment as she realizes she doesn't have any blueberries to add
  96. >Distracted, her aim isn't on target and a small goop pile is now sitting on her counter
  97. >She manages to fill the tray without any further mistakes and then places it in the oven
  98. >With a little smirk she walks back to her counter and slurps up the batter
  99. >Derpy sits there watching the oven, taking in deep breaths. Becoming relaxed with her mind entirely fixed on muffins
  100. >The timer goes off and she jumps up in excitement
  101. >With a big smile she opens the oven and grabs the tray
  102. >She screams and let's go immediately
  103. >She runs over to the faucet and drenches her hoof in cool water
  104. >She winces in pain and looks down where she was burned
  105. >It looks superficial so she sighs in relief, but there is still a throbbing pain
  106. >She drys herself off and grabs her oven mitt
  107. >The muffins are slightly burnt, but she takes a bite anyway
  108. >They have a little bit of a crunch but overwise aren't too bad. "If only I had one of Anon's muffins" she thought to herself
  109. >She slowly stops chewing and puts down the muffin
  110. >Tears start to form but she shakes her head. "No! I want to see Anon and I will eat his muffins!"
  111. >With a rush of energy Derpy flies as fast as she can to Sugarcube Corner, barely avoiding crashing into the window
  112. >Barging in she does her best to scan for Anon, eyes googling around in random directions
  113. >"Welcome Derpy, can I help you?"
  114. >Mrs. Cake has a slightly concerned expression but still gives Derpy a welcoming smile
  115. "Anon...where is Anon?"
  116. >"He's off today sweetie. Said something about having a friend over but he'll be back tomorrow"
  117. >Without a word Derpy zooms out of the shop, leaving Mrs. Cake a tad befuddled
  118. >Although it's true Derpy has followed Anon home a couple times, everypony knows where the human lives in town
  119. >She's halfway there but finds herself out of breath, Derpy lands and sits down for a minute as her mind is racing about this "friend"
  120. >After gaining her bearings Derpy continues
  121. >Now in front of Anon's house, she peers through his window
  122. >To her dismay, another pony is inside sitting on his lap
  123. >Derpy wastes no time, her love is at stake
  124. >She surges through the front door without any form of notice or consent
  125. >The door slams open and startles Anon and the pony on his lap
  126. "Anon! Who is she? I want you to be with me!"
  127. >Derpy's chest is puffed out, a little bit of floof swaying up and down as she breathes heavily
  128. >"Who am I? Who the HELL are YOU?"
  129. >The other gray pony in the room is now getting off Anon's lap making her way towards Derpy
  130. >Derpy awkwardly hoofs the ground as tears drop around her
  131. >"I said, who the hell are you? Anon who is this mare? Are you cheating on me?"
  132. >Anon sits there in shock, his lips start to move but nothing comes out
  133. "I'm Derpy...Derpy Hooves"
  134. >"And? Are you banging MY boyfriend behind my back?"
  135. >She looks furious and is starting to scare Derpy as she gets closer
  136. >Anon finally gets up and puts his hand on Limestone's mane
  137. >"Limestone, honey...I love you and would never cheat, you know that. She's just a friend that I see at work sometimes. I promise"
  138. >Derpy's intial impetuous drive is quickly draining, those words from Anon stinging harshly
  139. >Still alarmed and furious, Limestone Pie takes a moment to gaze intently at Anon
  140. >"I believe you Anon"
  141. >For a moment she loses all sense of hostility and closes her eyes as she nuzzles her face into Anon's hand. Eventually she reaches up and kisses him on the lips
  142. >For Derpy, time is moving in slow motion. Each second feels like an hour as she witnesses the scene before her
  143. >Even her tears seem to descend down her cheeks at a laggard's pace
  144. >Her heart wrenching in ten different directions at once, unable to bear this terrible burning pain in her very snowpity
  145. >Eventually Limestone breaks away the kiss and turns her attention back to Derpy
  146. >"You better explain yourself, NOW"
  147. >Derpy's lips tremble and she looks down at the floor unable to meet Limestone's fierce glare
  148. >"Derpy, I already told you I had a special somepony..."
  149. >Anon disappointedly interjects, shaking his head at the situation
  150. >Derpy looks up at Anon, and it's at that moment when her heart finally breaks
  151. >She realizes that there is no hope to be with Anon. The only person she's ever loved is now fiction, a twisted joke
  152. >"Well? What do you have to say for yourself, coming here and breaking in? I don't get to see Anon that much since I attend the rock farm. Days like this are special for us"
  153. >Limestone goes back on the offensive, although a bit less heated now
  154. "I'm... s-sorry"
  155. >Between all the sniffling Derpy manages to apologize, eyes glued to the ground, wings drooped low
  156. >"Nopony knows about me and Anon, you have to promise not to tell anyone. Especially my sister! If Pinkie finds out the entire town will know before sundown...my parents wouldn't be very understanding of us. I think you owe us after this so that's the least you can do"
  157. >Derpy feels disgusted. At seeing Anon and Limestone together. Knowing that Anon will never love her. She also feels disgusted with herself.
  158. >After a moment of awkward silence Derpy responds as best she can
  159. "...okay. I won't tell anypony"
  160. >Derpy is still looking at the ground, crying
  161. >"Alright, you have to leave now"
  162. >Limestone puts a hoof on Derpy's flank and directs her to turn around and go outside the door
  163. >Derpy doesn't resist and follows Limestone's lead
  164. >Before she leaves Derpy looks back one more time at Anon
  165. >Her wet cheeks are reddened and her eyes are filled with rejected anguish
  166. >Anon meets her eyes for a moment but then looks away in discomfort
  167. >She wimpers and starts sobbing loudly
  168. >Derpy is now out of the door and Limestone doesn't wait around. She slams the door shut behind her and locks it
  169. >With a drawn out sigh Limestone walks over to Anon and hugs him for a while nestling her face in his chest
  170. >Eventually the sound of the wailing pony outside dwindles as Derpy Hooves slowly plods away down the street
  171.  
  172. End

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