Cage Muffin


                                            >Be Anon in ponyland

                                            >Need to make a living somehow

                                            >Find a job opening for home care services

                                            >Miraculously you are hired with only a quick informal interview

                                            >You were advised that most of the patients are elderly or disabled

                                            >Of course you are assigned the retarded pony to take care of

                                            >You are required to go to her house and help clean, prepare her meals, and generally make sure she is doing okay


                                            >Fast forward 6 months

                                            >It's been a real struggle and you aren't sure if this is the job for you

                                            >This pony is constantly banging into everything around the house and not a day goes by without her making a mess or breaking something

                                            >And to make matters worse she constantly follows you around and bugs you during the entire shift

                                            >one day for lunch you cooked her pasta

                                            >She's really excited and runs out of the kitchen and into the living room, plate in her mouth

                                            >she trips and falls getting the pasta all over the carpet and herself

                                            >At this point you've had it, you told her a million times not to run with food. Well, not to run at all actually

                                            >She does her typical crybaby routine which you are also tired of

                                            >You yell at her to go get washed

                                            >As you are cleaning up the mess you get a great idea which elicits a twisted grin

                                            >After you finish cleaning you order Derpy to stay in her room until you get back. You tell her you are going to buy a muffin so she is quite happy and agrees to stay put

                                            >You leave her house and buy a muffin at the Cake's shop then make your way back to your place which isn't far

                                            >You keep your dog, Max, in a cage while you work your home care shift

                                            >You tell Max that today he can chew on the couch, you have bigger fish to fry

                                            >You also grab a small padlock you have laying around and put it in your pocket

                                            >With cage and muffin in hand you make your way back to Derpy's house


                                            >Looks like she actually listened for once

                                            >Well, until she heard you come back in the house

                                            >She rushes over to you with her big goofy smile

                                            >"Anon! Muffin?

                                            >She looks up expectantly at you

                                            >When you first started this job you thought she was actually cute, in a disabled pony kind of way. But now her mere presence irritates you

                                            "Derpy I have the muffin but I will only give it to you if you be a good pony for me, okay?"

                                            >She looks confused, but that's nothing new

                                            >You bring the cage into the kitchen and open the door

                                            >Derpy trails behind you

                                            >"What's that Anon?

                                            "Derpy, get inside of here and then I'll give you the muffin"

                                            >She sticks her head inside and looks around, eyes looming in random directions

                                            >"Why?"

                                            >She's definitely trying your patience, you are going to enjoy this

                                            "Do you want the damn muffin or not?"

                                            >Sensing your anger she puts her head down and walks into the cage

                                            >"Okay.."

                                            >Max is a decent sized dog but not quite the size of a pony

                                            >Derpy has to hunch down to squeeze inside

                                            >You close the door behind her and apply the lock

                                            >A large smile spreads across your face

                                            "Alright Derpy, here's the muffin"

                                            >You take the muffin out of the bag and place it on the table, which is directly in front of the cage

                                            >Her eyes go wide at the sight

                                            >You bend down and take a nice whiff of the muffin

                                            "Wow this smells amazing. One freshly baked extra large blueberry, you are one lucky pony"

                                            >And with that you walk to the front door

                                            >"Anon ..Muffin!!"

                                            >Derpy rattles the cage door as she calls out to you

                                            >You ignore her and leave the house, locking the front door

                                            >With a satisfied grin you walk home