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[REQUEST] Minion of Lulu - Shipwrecked
By NebulusCreated: 2020-12-17 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-07-03 10:56:19
Expiry: Never
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Originally uploaded to Pastebin: January 10th, 2013
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As memory serves, I called Minion of Lulu a nigger. So he killed my sister
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I cried like a bitch and said that I would write a story as revenge
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This is what fell out of my mind.
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Special thanks to Minion of Lulu, for causing this catastrophe.
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Alex the Narrator for being stellar and providing sweet sweet Octavia
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Picklehead for emotional support during my dog's pregnancy
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Various Anons for funding and other supportive comments
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>Day Wrecked in Equestria
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>You are Anon
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>Reluctant party member extraodinaire
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>You look out over the vast ocean, looking all stoic n shit
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>Mutter to yourself
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I feel like I've seen too much of the sea recently.
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>First Mate Fluttershy walks up behind you and prods your butt
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>Turn around
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What now, Fluttershy?
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>"Umm. I was just wondering if storms were your fetish?"
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What are you-
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>Look towards where the ship is heading
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>A massive fucking tidal wave made of foam, water and lightning is thundering towards you
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In restrospect, I should have seen this coming.
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>The tidal wave slams into the ship and everything goes black
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>Wake up some time later
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>Groan and stand up, rubbing your head
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>Try to speak
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>A crab crawls out of your mouth and drops to the sand, before clacking it's claws angrily and waddling off towards the sea
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Well fuck you too, buddy.
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>Look around at the wreckage
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>Well you're on a beach. That's one thing
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>Driftwood, supplies and ponies are lying everywhere
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>Walk over and shake Rainbow Dash, the Captain of the ship and also the best pony.
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>She snorts and wakes up
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>"Huh? Wha?"
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>You help her up
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Shipwrecked, Captain.
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>Rainbow Dash just stares at you
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>"Who are you?"
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Uhh. Cabin Boy Anon, Captain.
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>"Oh yes! O-of course!"
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>She leans down and whispers to a rock
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>"Who is this guy?"
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>You watch as she straightens up, and walks around in a circle for 5 minutes
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>"Cabin Boy! We appear to be going around in cicles! What is the meaning of this?"
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I think you might have dementia, Captain.
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>She stops walking and looks at you, her eyes darting all around
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>"I-I knew that."
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>She looks down the beach the boat is trashed on
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>"Woah! Anon! Get a load of this!"
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>You walk to her side
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What, what is it?
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>"There's a boat here! It's totally trashed!"
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>Gawp at her
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Captain I think you need to lie down
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>Dash looks at you
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>"Who are you?"
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>Groan in frustration
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>Great. The Captain's gone mad
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>Unfortunately, in the event of the Captain being unfit for duty, the duties go over to...
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>Sigh
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>First Mate Fluttershy
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>You stomp along the beach towards Fluttershy's unconscious body, leaving Rainbow Dash to talk to the remains of the steering wheel
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>Kick her awake
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Get up.
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>You sigh again
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...Captain.
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>She bolts awake
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>"W-what did you just say?"
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>Her eyes are lit up
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The Captain is unfit for duty. So you're the new Captain. Please walk into the ocean and kill yourself so that Applejack can take over.
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>Fluttershy isn't listening
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>"Ohmygoodness! I'm the Captain! I can do whatever I want!"
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>She turns to you
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>"Strip naked! ...please..."
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>Glare at her
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No.
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>She gets angry
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>"I AM THE CAPTAIN! AND I SAY YOU SHOULD STRIP NAKED!"
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Well this is a mutiny!
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>Fluttershy screams and jumps at you
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>You kick her off and run back to Rainbow Dash
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>She tackles you from behind and you roll around in the sand towards the wreckage of the ship
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>She pins you down and starts trying to tear your shirt off
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>"YOU WILL STRIP, CABIN BOY! CAPTAINS ORDERS!"
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>Your arms flail around until you hit a shattered box
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>You look at it's contents, floating in and around the box, surrounded by seawater
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>Jars. Hundreds of jars.
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>Filled to the brim with pickles
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>You grab one and smash it over Fluttershy's head
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>She falls into the water, her head bleeding from the vegetable-induced injury
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>Or it might have been the glass jar
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>Was probably the pickles though
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>Lethal fuckers, they are
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>You walk back over to Rainbow Dash
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>"Woah! Who are you?!"
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Anon.
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>"Nice meeting you, Anon! Are we best friends?"
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Yup.
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>You pick best pony up under your arm and walk into the Jungle with her, leaving Fluttershy, the rest of the crew and the pickles on the beach
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>Cue Cheesy 80's music
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>Anon wandered into the Jungle and became the new god of a local Cannibal Zebra Tribe, he ruled with an iron fist before he stubbed his toe on a rock and died of infection.
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>Rainbow Dash recovered her memory and flew back to the mainland, leaving her crew behind and making millions off the tale of her daring escape from cannibal tribes.
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>Fluttershy died from her injuries. Her body was swept out to sea and eaten by a shark, who promptly threw up, complaining of the bad taste she left in it's mouth.
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>Rarity committed suicide after she learned that she would have to live on a dirty island inhabited by filthy natives. Her body went towards feeding hungry native children.
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>Pinkie Pie dug a hole 1 mile deep and broke through to the planet's mantle, her body was liquified before she could throw a party over it.
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>Twilight Sparkle created 14 new languages before she died at the ripe old age of 104. She died a quiet death and the local Cannibals held a funeral/barbecue in her honour.
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>Applejack, refusing to be on the same island as a pickle, swam out to sea where she trained a shark to be her pet. She then rode it back to the mainland where she and Rainbow Dash started a homosexual relationship with each other, splitting the book profits 50/50
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>Celestia ruled for 9050 more years until Discord broke free and poisoned her Cheerios
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>Luna, driven mad with grief, crashed the moon into the planet, cracking it in half and wiping out all life except for Discord
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>Discord, unable to find anything to do on the barren planet, decided to make a new one. He called it Discordopia.
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>Director - Nebulus
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>Narrator - Alex, Narrator of Flutterrape
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>Writers - Minion of Lulu, Picklehead42, Anonymous
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>Cast -
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>Twilight Sparkle - Twilight Sparkle
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>Applejack - Applejack
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>Pinkie Pie - Pinkie Pie
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>Rarity - Angelina Jolie
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>Rainbow Dash - Rainbow Dash
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>Fluttershy - Terry Crews
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>Anonymous - Christopher Poole
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>Celestia - Daniel Craig
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>Luna - Luna
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>Discord - Patrick Stewart
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4/4
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The End?
by Nebulus
by Nebulus
by Nebulus
by Nebulus