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[FLUTTERRAPE] Super Secret Story Day

By Nebulus
Created: 2020-12-17 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-07-03 11:11:30
Expiry: Never
anonnsfw/flutterrape/various characters

  1. Originally uploaded to Pastebin: January 19th, 2013
  2. ---
  3.  
  4. Update 30/04/2021 -- "Super Secret Story Day" was a challenge I set myself in the Flutterrape threads where I would write one story every day for five days.
  5.  
  6. As you might expect, given the time constraints and woeful lack of actual writing talent, it went very, very poorly.
  7.  
  8. I have decided to consolidate them all here, as keeping them as separate pastes seems unnecessary.
  9.  
  10. ---
  11. [Day 1 -- A Properly Paced Story]
  12. ---
  13.  
  14. >Day Extreme Confusion in Equestria
  15. >Sat outside in front of your house, sun bathing
  16. >Faggot.
  17. >Let out a contented sigh
  18. This is the life...
  19. >Birds answer you, and the sun continues to beam down
  20. >Feels like Holidays in South France, man.
  21. I wish everyday was like this.
  22. >You reach for your drink
  23. >Sip it through a straw, and look around the area
  24. Hm. No one out today. Odd.
  25. >Just then Rainbow Dash crashes into you
  26. >"ANON! WE GOTTA GO NOW!"
  27. HUH? WHAT? SHE WAS 18 I SWEAR TO GOD.
  28. >"NOW ISN'T THE TIME, ANON! THEY'RE COMING!"
  29. WHO!?
  30. >"THEM"
  31. >She points to a massive army of Fluttershys stampeding towards you
  32. >"RUN ANON, RUN!"
  33. JESUS CHRIST!
  34. >You hightail your ass outta there
  35. >The thunder of hooves is getting louder
  36. >"DON'T WORRY, ANON! THE ROYAL CANTERLOT GUARD IS HERE TO SAVE US!"
  37. GOOD? I GUESS?
  38. >A legion of pegasi and unicorns clad in golden armour slams into the oncoming Fluttershy horde, magic spells and blood flying everywhere
  39. >You watch in horror as a group of Fluttershys corner a guard and rape him to death
  40. THIS IS HORRIBLE!
  41. >...
  42. RAINBOW?
  43. >Turn to Rainbow Dash
  44. >She smiles at you and pulls the zipper down from her forehead
  45. >Fluttershy steps out
  46. >Just before she jumps on you she explodes
  47. >Twilight Sparkle runs up to you, panting
  48. >"COME ON, ANON! WE HAVE TO GET TO THE SHIP!"
  49. WHAT SHIP?!
  50. >She runs away, you follow her, still half naked from your sunbathing
  51. >Though you are wearing shades, so you must look hella cool while running
  52. >Explosions and Fluttershys surround you as you run through Ponyville, now a warzone
  53. >A large flying saucer is hovering over the Library
  54. >And by large you mean the size of the entire fucking town
  55. >For reasons unknown, you didn't notice it.
  56. >It's actually blocking out the sun
  57. >You are so confused right now
  58. >Twilight stops underneath it and shouts up
  59. >"WE HAVE HIM! LET'S GO!"
  60. >You are then teleported on the ship
  61. >Cold steel and computers surround you
  62. >Before you get a chance to open your mouth, you're being hurried along a corridor by several ponies wearing futuristic battle armour and carrying plasma rifles
  63. >Twilight and the guards drag you onto the bridge
  64. >You see the warzone that is Ponyville from up here
  65. >Luna is sat in the Captain's chair, wearing a bright purple party hat with green polka dots
  66. >She turns to you and blows a party streamer
  67. >"HUZZAH! NOW WE CAN LEAVE THE PLANET!"
  68. What.
  69. >The ship begins to rise as Luna barks order to several ponies and blows her party streamer several more times
  70. >She raises an eyebrow at you
  71. >You shrug
  72. >You watch as the clouds and skies fly past the window as you ascend into space
  73. >You pass by Cloudsdale on the way there, which is also being attacked by an army of Fluttershys
  74. >You nod, as if to convey that you know what's going on, when really you don't.
  75. >Like when hipsters pretend they understood the ending to Inception.
  76. >You find yourself looking out at the inky blackness of space
  77. >It's beautiful.
  78. >You smile to yourself.
  79. >You had always wanted to visit space.
  80. >Before you can comment on it to Twilight a loud siren blares
  81. >Luna spits out her party streamer, tears off her party hat and replaces it with a Pirate Hat and an old looking pipe
  82. >"GADZOOKS! WE HAVE MULTIPLE TALLYWHACKERS INBOUND!"
  83. >You strain your eyes and look out the window
  84. >Yeah
  85. >Fluttershys
  86. >Flying through space
  87. >You watch a squadren of them fly past the window as the space ship unleashes it's full payload into the oncoming swarm
  88. >Laser fire and photon missiles fly past the window and collide with Fluttershys, disintegrating them on contact
  89. >A pony in a clown costume waddles through the door, his shoes making funny honking noises with each hooffall
  90. >"KAP'N! IT'S TOO MUCH! SHE'S GOIN' DOWN!"
  91. >Luna removes her sunglasses slowly
  92. >You didn't even notice her put them on
  93. >"Mother of me."
  94. >The ship begins rapidly falling towards the Planet
  95. >Cloudsdale is now all but gone. Fluttershys are dry humping the ruins and any survivors
  96. >Twilight clings to you
  97. >"ANON! I ALWAYS LOVED YOU!"
  98. THIS STILL MAKES NO SENSE!
  99. >You both scream as Ponyville rushes up to meet the ship
  100. >The ship crashes into the ground and a giant explosion rocks the entire ship as the behemoth of metal crumples from the impact, hundreds of explosions tearing it apart
  101. >All of Ponyville is obliterated in an instant
  102. >You emerge from under Luna's body, which acted as a pillow and heat-proof blanket during the crash
  103. >You solemnly close her eyes
  104. Rip in peace, Cap'n.
  105. >You climb out of the wreckage and drop to the floor
  106. >It's cracked and dry from the impact, whatever grass that's left is on fire
  107. >The sky is dark with smoke
  108. >You Walk a few steps forward and look around
  109. >Looks like the result of a nuclear war in Ponyville
  110. >Whatever building are left are empty shells of what they once were
  111. >You wander around for a while until you see signs of life, movement up ahead
  112. Hello? Can you please explain to me what's going on? I think I might be tripping balls.
  113. >The figures look up from the body they were apparently dry-humping
  114. >Oh god.
  115. >Fluttermutants.
  116. >The three Fluttermutants, that look like they all took a year's worth of steroids and were educated with Adam Sandler movies, groan in some broken form of English then canter towards you
  117. Fuck that.
  118. >"MUST. HUMP"
  119. FUCK THAT.
  120. >You run from them, as far as your frail human legs will carry you
  121. >A Fluttermutant head-butts its way through a crumbling wall and carries on lumbering it's way over to you
  122. SHITSHITSHIT
  123. >Before it grabs you, it's head explodes.
  124. Oh ok.
  125. >The other two Fluttermutants stop and look at the body of their pal fall to the floor
  126. >They scratch their heads before they explode as well.
  127. >A shadowy figure walks out of the shadows, wearing a Stetson
  128. >"Howdy, partner. You new around here?"
  129. Applejack. It's me. And why the fuck do you have a gun?
  130. >"It's dangerous around these parts. Mutants everywhere."
  131. >She spits on the ground
  132. >"Come on. Let's get you someplace safe"
  133. >You follow her through the ruins of Ponyville, occasionally fighting Fluttermutants
  134. >Applejack has some weird metal shit on her arm
  135. >Whatever it does, it beeps and makes her pull of bullshit wallhack shots.
  136. >So you're not complaining.
  137. >Applejack tells you tales of her adventures in the wastes, and her exploits that have earned her a name around here
  138. >She tells you all this while you're sat around a camp fire.
  139. >Next to the fucking spaceship you crash-landed in
  140. >You can still see your footprints in the dirt
  141. >Check your watch
  142. >It's been 15 minutes
  143. Ho boy.
  144. >"Wuzzat? Tell you more? Sure thing, partner. Glad to have a listener. It's nice."
  145. >She shuffles along the ground and rests her head on your shoulder
  146. >"We've been through so much, Anon. I'm glad you're here with me..."
  147. >She blushes up at you and nuzzles your arm
  148. I feel like this whole thing has absolutely no pacing
  149. >Applejack then keels over
  150. >"ACK! THE RADIATION CANCER!"
  151. >She then dies
  152. >You stare at her body for a while, then stand up
  153. See, this is EXACTLY what I mean!
  154. >Sigh
  155. Well. Not like this can get any worse, right?
  156. >Look to your right
  157. >Rarity is stood there.
  158. >In steampunk gear
  159. Let me guess. In light of the recent calamity, Ponykind has reformed under some kind of techno-magic society where crude yet stylish technology is used everywhere?
  160. >She smiles
  161. >"Of course, darling! Now come come, there's much to discuss!"
  162. >You follow her over to a dangerously unsafe looking, yet strangely appealing looking contraption that seems like it was made of pipes, cogs, and leather.
  163. >Whatever.
  164. >You hop on board and the creation chugs to life, Rarity powering it as though she's riding a bicycle.
  165. >The 'copter rides through the skies
  166. >Looks like you're heading towards the ruins of Cloudsdale
  167. >Hundreds of helicopters similar to the one you're riding are docking and leaving
  168. >All of Cloudsdale has been transformed into a giant hunk of floating metal, help up by thousands of different sized propellers.
  169. Cool.
  170. >You dock and hop off, the metal meeting your feet with a comfortable thud
  171. >Rarity trots off, beckoning you to follow
  172. >You follow her through the busy streets, avoiding passing ponies carting around huge boxes of scrap metal and other supplies
  173. >God damn this place is aesthetically pleasing.
  174. >You follow Rarity to a large building, also made out of metal.
  175. >Everything around here is a lovely bronze colour
  176. >It's great
  177. >You follow her to an office of sorts, and she sits down at her desk once you've closed the door behind you.
  178. Sooo. This is life now, eh?
  179. >"Of course, Anonymous! I only ask one thing."
  180. That is?
  181. >"Don't push that button"
  182. >She motions to the wall
  183. >A giant red button the size of said wall greets you
  184. Oh. Why? What does it do?
  185. >"It advances the plot."
  186. >You blink
  187. >Look at the button again
  188. >Pinkie Pie is now stood next to it
  189. >She's looking straight at you, a dead serious look on her face
  190. >You and Rarity both watch as she slowly reaches out a hoof and pushes it, maintaining eye contact with you the whole time
  191. >Rarity puts on a diving helmet
  192. >"Well, darling. It was fun."
  193. >Cloudsdale explodes.
  194. >You find yourself plummeting to earth as burning and twisted metal rushes past you
  195. >A unicorn with aviation goggles and mechanical wings falls alongside you
  196. >He grins
  197. >"FINE DAY FOR FLYING, OLD SPORT!"
  198. >He pulls a cord and a motor starts flapping his wings
  199. >He veers off and flies straight into a giant piece of burning scrap
  200. >Look away and wait for the ground to hit you
  201. >You aren't even phased anymore
  202. >This is fucking stupid
  203. >The ground looks rather welcoming in light of your day, but to your dismay, before you can hit it, you get caught.
  204. >Blink a few times
  205. >Yeah
  206. >Skeletal Rainbow Dash
  207. >She speaks to you in a raspy, wheezy voice
  208. >"Hello, Anon. How are you?"
  209. Miffed.
  210. >"I can see why. Look at this mess!"
  211. >You look at the countryside. Devastated by the space ship crash landing, and now covered in burning hunks of metal from Cloudsdale
  212. >"I mean, all this life! It's horrible!"
  213. What.
  214. >"Of course! Good thing the others have the same idea as me"
  215. >She points over to a large crowd
  216. >Skeletal Fluttershys, by the looks of it
  217. >The dismantle each other and quickly assemble a colossus.
  218. >The monstrosity begins slowly stomping towards Canterlot, roaring the whole time
  219. >It's the size of a dragon. But made out of bones. And is also Fluttershy.
  220. >They even had some bones form a mane
  221. >Now that's attention to detail.
  222. >The Rapezilla digs it's hooves into Canterlot Mountain and begins dragging itself up the slope
  223. Hey uhh, Rainbow?
  224. >"Yes?"
  225. Could you fly me to Canterlot Castle?
  226. >"Why would you want to do that?"
  227. Uhh... To advance the plot.
  228. >"Great idea!"
  229. >Fucking Storylines.
  230. >You ride the undead Rainbow Dash over the ruins of the Alien Spaceship and the remains of the Steampunk Cloudsdale, watching the Gargantuan Skeletal Fluttershy lay seige to outer walls of Canterlot Castle.
  231. >Woe betide anyone who reads this clusterfuck and makes sense of it
  232. >Rainbow lands in a courtyard while guards run around screaming
  233. >You see the gaunt visage of the Fluttershy Titan peer over the walls and let loose a roar that shakes the ground
  234. >Turn around and stroll into the Castle, the guards more concerned about the undead monstrosity besieging them
  235. >Walk into the throne room
  236. >Celestia looks up from reading the paper
  237. >"Ah! Anonymous! What can I do for you?"
  238. Plot device.
  239. >She stands to her feet and nods
  240. >"OF COURSE! ANON! YOU MUST BECOME THE BEARER OF EVERY ELEMENT OF HARMONY! IT IS YOUR DESTINY!"
  241. 'Aight. Coo.
  242. >A few moments later you stroll out of the castle, with the various elements duct taped to your body
  243. >You look at the Destroyer of Innocence, who is stomping around in lower Canterlot
  244. >Celestia takes up your side
  245. Soo uhh, how does this work?
  246. >"YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE!"
  247. >She shouts in your fucking ear
  248. Umm.
  249. >Think
  250. Rubba dub dub. Three men in a tub.
  251. >Flutterzilla explodes. Bones flying all over the city and impaling the unfortunate citizens below
  252. Cool.
  253. >Celestia cheers
  254. >"ANON! YOU SAVED CANTERLOT!"
  255. >She grabs your face and presses her lips against yours
  256. >Then things get hot and heavy and you end up screwing her on the steps outside the castle.
  257. >It was a "heat of the moment" kind of thing.
  258. >40 minutes later you're sat outside your ruined house in a deck chair, soaking up the radiation from the crashed ship
  259. >Pretty interesting day so far.
  260. >You watched an army of Fluttershys fight the Royal Guard in a horrific display of violence and sexual depravity
  261. >You went into space on an alien vessel where the crew wore clown costumes, which then got shot down by space-faring Fluttershys
  262. >You explored the wastelands with a farmer for all of 15 minutes before she fell in love then died of cancer
  263. >You went to a steampunk city, that had been assembled in literally 20 minutes.
  264. >You watched as that city then blew up because of a deadly serious plot device
  265. >You rode an undead pony past a terrifying construct created from the bones of the dead Fluttershy army
  266. >You became the bearer of every element of Harmony
  267. >You destroyed the monster
  268. >Saved the world
  269. >Fucked the Princess
  270. >And got home in time for lunch
  271. If I didn't know any better, this whole day played out like a poorly written fanfiction.
  272. >You shrug and pick up your drink
  273. Not my problem
  274. >Sip the drink
  275. >Fucking Fluttershy.
  276.  
  277. ---
  278. [Day 2 -- Secrets And Spies]
  279. ---
  280.  
  281. >Day 412 in Equestria
  282. >Wake up
  283. >Get out of bed
  284. >House is fukken cold, man.
  285. >Run over to the bathroom and run a hot shower
  286. >You stop when you look like a lobster
  287. >Step out and dry body
  288. >Realise that you feel like some eyes are watching you
  289. >Look around for anything suspicious
  290. >Nothing
  291. >Pick up your toothbrush slowly
  292. >About to brush when you see it
  293. >Peer closely at the toothbrush
  294. >A camcorder is duct-taped to the head
  295. Well fuck.
  296. >Tear it off and throw it in the toilet
  297. >Brush teeth and head downstairs
  298. >All the pictures in your house have cameras stuck inside them
  299. >Tear them off the walls and throw them in the bin outside
  300. >Slam the dustbin lid on
  301. >Look to your left
  302. >Fluttershy is grinning at you
  303. I’m sick to fucking death of you.
  304. >She just smiles at you
  305. >Growl
  306. Get out of here before I kick you to the other side of Equestria!
  307. >She just smiles at you
  308. I’M WARNING YOU!
  309. >She just smiles at you
  310. >Draw back a foot and kick her as hard as you can in the head
  311. >Her head fucking flies off
  312. >Realise that she was cardboard the whole time
  313. Oh.
  314. >You contemplate this for a while
  315. >Then remember that it’s Fluttershy and you shouldn’t even be caring
  316. >Stop back inside and eat breakfast as angrily as you can.
  317. >Which means you just eat it as you normally would.
  318. >Curse your passive aggressive attitude towards everything.
  319. >You finish up and head outside for the day to do what comes naturally
  320. >Get involved in stupid adventures and be the cynical one while it unfolds
  321. >You stand at the bottom of your road, arms folded, waiting for something to happen
  322. >Sure enough, you hear a slight whirring noise
  323. >Look around and see a periscope sticking out of a bush
  324. >Walk over and pull on it
  325. >Fluttershy – The real one – follows.
  326. >”O-oh… Hey there, handsome?”
  327. You’ve got 60 seconds to explain your plan for the day. Go.
  328. >”Ooh. W-well I was thinking that… Umm. Maybe-… Can you p-please- No. Umm. Can I ask the audience?”
  329. No.
  330. >”Oh. Right then…”
  331. Here’s a hint. Start with explaining the cameras all over my house
  332. >”Oh yes! That’s right. Are spies your fetish?”
  333. Spies.
  334. >”Spies.”
  335. Why would that be my fetish?
  336. >”B-because you might like being watched while you sleep…”
  337. You’ve been watching me in my sleep, haven’t you.
  338. >”…Yes.”
  339. >Sigh
  340. How long for?
  341. >”Three days”
  342. Well shit. That’s some serious commitment.
  343. >She swells with pride
  344. >"S-so can we please have sex now?"
  345. No. Spies don't have sex with the target.
  346. >"Y-yes they do... In the event of necessary seduction for the purposes of gathering more field intelligence, the agent is encouraged to get closer to the target by any means that may benefit or further the goals of the agent or agency..."
  347. >Stare at her
  348. Fluttershy... Are you actually a spy?
  349. >Fluttershy stares at you
  350. >"Sorry..."
  351. >Before you can react she sweeps your feet with a rear leg, punches you in the stomach when you hit the floor, and stuffs a cloth covered in Chloroform over your mouth
  352. MMMPH MmMmm... mph...
  353. >And everything goes dark
  354.  
  355. >Day Headaches and Nausea in Equestria
  356. >Wake up
  357. >Try and move
  358. >Shake your head and look around
  359. >You're in a dark and wet basement of some kind
  360. >Water drips from the ceiling and into a puddle in the corner
  361. >The whole place smells like mould
  362. >It's also freezing
  363. >Look down
  364. >Your hands and feet are bound to a chair
  365. >Try to shuffle the chair
  366. >It's secured to the floor
  367. Shit.
  368. >A door opens behind you
  369. >You try and turn your head around, but you can't see who enters
  370. Fluttershy? Fluttershy I know that's you.
  371. >You move your head back to the the front and shit yourself
  372. >Rarity is sat on her own little chair, her face inches from yours
  373. >She smiles at you and bats her eyelids
  374. R-rarity?!
  375. >"Of course, darling. Could you see me as anything BUT a secret agent?"
  376. >You realise that this really is the only thing other than fashion that makes sense for a mare like Rarity to pursue
  377. >"Now... Anonymous."
  378. >She pulls a file seemingly out of thin air and dons a pair of reading glasses
  379. >She crosses her legs and sits up like a human
  380. >Kinda like Lyra does in the park, but with more grace and a better posture
  381. >You weren't even sure if pony physiology allowed for this kind of bending
  382. >Whatever. It's happening.
  383. >Rarity reads the file for a few seconds, then looks back up at you and smiles
  384. >"Seems like you've been meddling in our affairs for quite a while now, Anonymous. We're not too pleased."
  385. What? I have no idea what you're talk-
  386. >Rarity slaps you across the face
  387. >Incredibly hard
  388. >Holy shit
  389. >Your face burns and you let out a cry
  390. >Since your hands are tied you can't nurse your cheek so you leave it there to sting
  391. >Rarity leans back and regards you with contempt
  392. >"Well of course you would say that, wouldn't you? Which is why we're here. To get you to say what we want you to say."
  393. What... WHAT?! What do you want me to say?
  394. >Another slap on the other cheek
  395. >Son of a bitch that hurts
  396. >Tears form in your eyes as your face throbs with pain
  397. >"Who are you working for, Anonymous? Which company? The GGIA?"
  398. The what?
  399. >Another slap
  400. >"THE GREAT GRIFFAIN INTELLIGENCE AGENCY, ANONYMOUS. ARE YOU WORKING FOR THEM?"
  401. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT YOU CRAZY BITCH
  402. >Rarity crushes your foot with a hoof
  403. >You bite your lip and try not to scream
  404. >She gets off her chair and starts circling you
  405. >"If not the Griffins, then maybe the Zebras?"
  406. >She slaps your face again
  407. >"Are you working for them, Anonymous? Are you working for the Zebras?"
  408. I don't... Know what... You're talking about...
  409. >She sighs
  410. >"Very well. I'm afraid I'll have to call in my companion then. You brought this on yourself, Anonymous."
  411. >Rarity trots away, leaving you to concentrate on the pain in your foot and cheeks.
  412. >You sit there for what seems like hours, counting the water drops hitting the floor
  413. 901... 902... 903...
  414. >The door creaks open behind you
  415. >Slow hooffalls mark the entrance of another pony
  416. >Your muscles tense up and you feel sweat run down your brow
  417. >Your head moves around frantically, waiting for whatever has been sent to make you "talk"
  418. >To your horror, Fluttershy moves into view
  419. >She sits down on the chair Rarity was sat in
  420. >You watch her
  421. >She watches you
  422. >You both hold each other's gaze for a while, unmoving, unblinking
  423. >Fluttershy smiles
  424. >You shiver
  425. >"Anon... Dear. Please can you tell me who y-you're working for?"
  426. Fluttershy. I don't know how far you're going to go with this fetish attempt, but seriously. Interrogation and Spies are NOT my fetish
  427. >Fluttershy shakes her head
  428. >"No, Anon. This isn't a fetish attempt, I'm afraid. I tried to guess it so I could get closer to you, but you wouldn't let me in."
  429. >She sighs
  430. >"Shame, really. I was starting to like you. And it would have made this whole process so much easier."
  431. >You stare at her
  432. ...Seriously? This whole time?
  433. >"Yes. What did you say earlier? That's some serious committment? Well thankyou, Anon. I've been doing it for a year. I think I deserve some gratification."
  434. >Oh my god she's actually serious
  435. >This whole time, she was just watching you, trying to get you to talk about shit you haven't done.
  436. Fluttershy. PLEASE. I don't know why I'm here! I haven't done anything!
  437. >Fluttershy growls
  438. >"Now now, Anonymous. Don't lie to me."
  439. >She leans forward and places a hoof on your crotch
  440. >Then she starts to push down
  441. >You try to wriggle away but the restraints hold fast
  442. >You roar in pain as she crushes your ballsack, tears streaking down your face
  443. >"Now, are you going to tell me what I want to know?"
  444. I DON'T KNOW!
  445. >She punches your cheek
  446. >Not slap, like Rarity. Punches
  447. >You see stars and black dots cloud your vision and your head roll around from the force of the blow
  448. >Fluttershy flaps her wings and hovers a few centimetres from your face
  449. >"What was that? You're working for who?"
  450. STOP THI-
  451. >Another punch
  452. >You feel the area she hit start to swell and bruise
  453. >Fluttershy starts punching your body
  454. >With your arms tied behind your back to the chair, you can't avoid the relentless assault on your chest
  455. >You feel a rib crack as she rains punches into you
  456. >You cough up some blood as she stops and sits back down
  457. >"Now. Tell me who you're working for, Anon."
  458. >She smiles
  459. >"I bet a human like you would be working for the Diamond Dogs! They've been on our radar for a while now. We know about the gem shipments they've been intercepting from Canterlot! So what's in it for you? Bits? Power?"
  460. I-I... Kn-know... Nothing...
  461. >Fluttershy screams in frustration and crushes your nose with a hoof
  462. >You feel the bone snap and hot blood begins pouring from your nostrils
  463. >You groan and whimper from the pain
  464. >Why you?
  465. >Fluttershy flies out of the room and slams the door, leaving you to sit in your own sweat, blood, and pain.
  466. >Wracked with pain and lightheaded from the beating you recieved at the hooves of your interrogator, you pass out.
  467.  
  468. >You don't know how long you were out for, but you're awoken by a bucket of freezing water
  469. >You gasp for breathe and your heartbeat begins pounding in your ears
  470. >Fluttershy and Rarity are stood infront of you
  471. >They look pissed
  472. >Rarity speaks up first
  473. >"Wakey wakey, darling. We have much to discuss."
  474. >You groan and avoid looking at them
  475. >Fluttershy flies up and grabs your face, forcing you to look at Rarity
  476. >Rarity flashes a brilliant, pearly white smile.
  477. >"Now. I hope you learned your lesson! Yesterday was more of a trial of things to come. Since we don't have much time I think we'll step it up a bit."
  478. >Your eyes widen and fear fills you
  479. >Step it up? What.
  480. W-what?
  481. >"Well. I'll ask you again, nicely, and if you don't give me the right answer, I'll have my dear friend Fluttershy here beat it out of you. Does that sound like fun?"
  482. >She gives you a shit-eating grin
  483. >You glower at her
  484. >"Good. So I thought, since you're not working for the Diamond Dogs, Griffins or Zebras, you must be working for someone else. Someone on the inside of pony affairs."
  485. What...
  486. >"I'm sure you're familiar with the terrorist splinter group, 'The Dusk Brigade'?"
  487. No, I'm n-not.
  488. >"Of course you are, Anonymous. It was obvious that you're working for them. Griffins are too easily noticed, and rarely meddle in Equestrian affairs, Diamond Dogs are too low-key and Zebras tend to bother with their own problems. But the Dusk Brigade? Ohh, they're much closer to home."
  489. You're not making sens-
  490. >Fluttershy slaps you
  491. >You feel the tears start again
  492. >"The Dusk Brigade has tried time and time again to topple Celestia and replace her with Luna. We've been hunting them for years now, until we got a tip a few weeks ago that there was an agent in Ponyville."
  493. >You stare at her
  494. >"Since we already had eyes on the local human, we didn't think anything of it. Until we noticed that you liked to go out at night a lot"
  495. >You did. You liked to visit Zecora every so often, since she was one of the few ponies, or zebras, in Equestria that actually understood you
  496. W-where are you g-going with this?
  497. >Rarity pushes her face close to yours and her eyes bore into you
  498. >"Don't try and hide it, Anonymous. We know you've been meeting with you friends at the Brigade. What have you told them? What did they offer you to get you to work for them?"
  499. >You start to cry from frustration
  500. >Shaking your head from side to side you feel yourself getting more desperate with each passing moment
  501. I don't know I don't know I DON'T KNOW! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! Please... Rarity... Just let me go!
  502. >Rarity sighs and nods to Fluttershy
  503. >Fluttershy punches your cheek again, pain coursing through your body
  504. >You wail in pain and slump in the chair, the binds still holding you in place
  505. >Rarity places a hoof under your chin and pushes your head up so that your eyes meet hers
  506. >"Anonymous. Just tell us. We can put all this behind us. Just. Tell. Us."
  507. Rarity. I swear to you. I have no idea what you're talking about.
  508. >Rarity grits her teeth and draws back a hoof to strike you
  509. >You tense up and move your head to the side, preparing for the hurt
  510. >At that moment the door behind you slams open
  511. >You look up and see Rarity's face, one of shock and horror
  512. >"HOW DID YOU FIND-"
  513. >A bolt of purple magic slams into her and launches her across the room, her body slamming into the stone wall and crumpling to the floor
  514. >Fluttershy screams with rage and flies at the attacker
  515. >You watch her fly backwards as well, held up by a purple aura
  516. >She rises to the ceiling then gets crushed against the floor
  517. >Then again
  518. >And again
  519. >Until her body is limp
  520. >The aura casts her aside and you realise that you're shaking violently
  521. >Another pony trots into view and smiles at you
  522. >Twilight Sparkle
  523. >"Hello, Anon."
  524. Twi...
  525. >"Shhh. Lets get you home."
  526. >She breaks the bonds holding you in place and helps you to your feet
  527. >You stagger out the door, clutching your rib and wincing with each slight movement
  528. >It's night time outside
  529. >You were being held in some run down house near Ponyville
  530. >Twilight assists you to your front door and you smile at her
  531. T-thanks, Twilight. How did you find me?
  532. >"I knew they'd come for you today, Anon."
  533. Well thanks for bailing me out. Will they be taken care of?
  534. >"Their memories will be wiped and they'll carry on living as though they were never a part of it. Have a wonderful night, Anon."
  535. >You nod
  536. >"For the Lunar Republic"
  537. For the Lunar Republic.
  538.  
  539. ---
  540. [Day 3 -- Swashbuckling Shy]
  541. ---
  542.  
  543. >Day Yarr in Equine-land
  544. >You are Anon.
  545. >Captain of the good ship 'Violator'
  546. >Rum state of affairs, no pun intended.
  547. >You were having the time of your life back on Earth. Being all Piratey n shit.
  548. >Then you go and get transported here because of some shaman you pissed off back in the day.
  549. >Said she would send you to a place as black and evil as the darkest recesses of your heart
  550. >Look around at the tranquil ocean, and your crew merrily singing along to an Equestrian sea shanty
  551. >"Come on every pirate, Smile smile smile! Fill our hearts up with sunshine sunshine!"
  552. >Sigh
  553. >This is terrible.
  554. >It truly is the most evil place imaginable
  555. >Your first mate prods your leg
  556. >Look down at her
  557. >"Umm, c-captain... T-the crew members are plotting something below deck... J-just so you know..."
  558. Mutiny! I didn't think they had it in 'em. Alright, First Mate Shy. Let's go.
  559. >You grin and unsheathe your sword, ready to split some heads and make a few examples
  560. >Trudge on down through the ship
  561. >Crew members whistle happily and laugh at their jokes
  562. >Pirates are meant to be happy, but this is ridiculous.
  563. >Half of them don't even understand the concept of piracy.
  564. >You think back to the first time you tried to do pirate stuff
  565. >Day Yarr minus 50 in Equine-Land
  566. >Flash a malevolent grin at the ship on the horizon
  567. >Put away your telescope and bellow to the crew below
  568. HOIST THE SAILS, LADS. WE'VE GOT SOME PILLAGIN' TA DO!
  569. >They all cheer and go about their jobs
  570. >They pull the cannons into position and heave on ropes
  571. >Like a well-oiled machine
  572. >Smile to yourself
  573. >They're an odd bunch. But they've got spirit.
  574. >You turn your attention to the ship you saw, getting closer
  575. >The ship catches the wind and speeds along the water towards it, ploughing through the waves
  576. >Your heart jumps at the thought of all that plunder
  577. >You might even get some more crew members
  578. >You look around your ship proudly
  579. >Gaze at the sails
  580. >The sails
  581. >THE SAILS.
  582. MISS FLUTTERSHY. GET HERE NOW!
  583. >The yellow Pegasus scrambles up the stairs and next to you, adjusting her eye-patch
  584. >She doesn't really have one eye. You just thought it looked good on her
  585. >She smiles weakly at you
  586. >"Y-yes, Captain?"
  587. WHY IS MY JOLLY RODGER... WELL. JOLLY?
  588. >You glare at the black sails
  589. >Your beloved skull and crossbones are surrounded by pink love hearts. The Skull has a large curved smile and happy looking eyes, instead of the gaunt visage that used to inspire fear in the hearts of men.
  590. >"W-well the other crew members and I thought it was a b-bit too dark... S-so we umm..."
  591. >She paws the deck with a hoof and looks up at you timidly
  592. >"...Changed it..."
  593. >Stare in disbelief at her
  594. >Lean down, casting a dark shadow over her
  595. >She takes a step back and trembles
  596. >"B-but it's a j-jolly Rodger!"
  597. It's heavily implied sarcasm, First Mate Fluttershy. When we're done here, we're changing it back.
  598. >Straighten up and look towards your prey
  599. >You can see ponies on the deck... Waving at you
  600. FLUTTERSHY!
  601. >"Y-yes, Captain?"
  602. Why are they waving at their coming demise?
  603. >"Umm... They probably think we're friendly, captain."
  604. But we're flying the flag of-
  605. >Look back at it
  606. >Smiles and love hearts
  607. Ah. Yes.
  608. >Clear your throat
  609. ALL HANDS! PREPARE TO FIRE!
  610. >The crew scurry around and man (pone) the cannons.
  611. >You draw up along the other ship, broadside
  612. >The captain of the other ship, an old looking Earth Pony with a fancy grey moustache and a blue hat on hails you
  613. >"Good day! Fine day for a cruise is it not?"
  614. Aye... Aye... That it i- OPEN FIRE!
  615. >The cannons explode, sending their deadly projectiles hurtling towards the other ship
  616. >You grin as the crew on the opposing vessel take all manner of punishment
  617. >Pillows. Teddy Bears... Wait
  618. >Gawp as your crew loads a vast array of fluffy objects into the cannons
  619. >A crewmember runs up to you, looking panicked
  620. >"CAP'N! WE'RE RUNNING LOW ON SOFT CUSHIONS!!"
  621. >Slap him
  622. >He yelps
  623. >Look down at Fluttershy
  624. >Slap her
  625. >She moans
  626. >Raise your voice and bellow at the crew below you, who are busy frantically stuffing pillows and gunpowder in the cannons
  627. WHAT IN THE SEVEN LAYERS OF HELL ARE YOU ALL DOING?!
  628. >A crew member shouts back at you
  629. >"Sending them presents, Captain!"
  630. WHY?!
  631. >"Because it's nice to receive gifts, Captain!"
  632. >Your eyes are bulging and your face red and contorted with rage
  633. >The other captain laughs
  634. >"Well thank you, friend! We'll put these here pillows to good use! I'm sure the crew will love them! We've all got bad backs, you know. Well, have a wonderful day!"
  635. >Their ship drifts away, leaving yours motionless
  636. >The crew pat themselves on the back and cheer, some of them hugging or hi-hoofing.
  637. >You grip the banister you were stood behind during it
  638. >Your knuckles are going white and you can barely contain your rage
  639. >You look over your shoulder at the other ship, sailing away into the distance
  640. >Turn back to the crew
  641. >Spot two ship-hands, both male, making out at the back
  642. >THAT'S IT
  643. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
  644. >The entire ship falls silent
  645. >They all stare at you, shocked
  646. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL WAS THAT?!
  647. >They look at each other, puzzled, then back at you
  648. >"Sorry, captain?"
  649. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF PIRACY?
  650. >"Well of course we do, sir. To spread happiness on the high seas!"
  651. NO, YOU INSOLENT DOG. TO SPREAD MISERY! PIRATES TAKE WHAT THEY WANT FROM OTHER SHIPS AND PLUNDER THE INNOCENT!
  652. >"That doesn't sound very nice..."
  653. IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE NICE! WE'RE PIRATES!
  654. >"When I signed up, I thought we would be doing nice things..."
  655. WE MET IN A FUCKING BAR IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT, AND THE SHIP IS CALLED THE VIOLATOR
  656. >"That's another thing. The other crew and I were thinking we should change the name of the ship. "Violator" is a bit aggressive..."
  657. YOU SPINELESS COWARD! HOW DARE YOU COME ON MY SHIP AND TRY AND ORDER ME AROUND!
  658. >A stallion stood next to the one talking starts crying
  659. >The talker pats him on the shoulder and scowls at you
  660. >"And stop shouting! You're making Tinky cry."
  661. >The crew mutters disapprovingly
  662. >Stare at the sky
  663. Why, god?
  664. >Look back down at the crew, who are all patting Tinky and shushing him
  665. >The talker speaks up again
  666. >"I think you should apologise to Tinky."
  667. >The crew agrees with him
  668. >You're aghast
  669. Apologise...
  670. >Fluttershy prods your leg
  671. >"It was very mean, mister..."
  672. >You growl and stomp down the stairs and stroll across the deck up to Tinky
  673. >He sniffles and looks up at you
  674. >You're literally twice the height of this guy
  675. >You glare at him for second
  676. mmzorry...
  677. >Talker speaks up
  678. >"That's not a proper apology, Captain."
  679. I said I'm sorry.
  680. >"Tinky"
  681. Tinky.
  682. >Tinky smiles and wags his tail
  683. >What the fuck.
  684. >"T-thank you, captain... You're forgiven."
  685. >He prances off, smiling and starts scrubbing the deck
  686. >This ship is your punishment for all the lives you ruined on Earth.
  687. >The Talker grins at you
  688. >"Well done, Captain!"
  689. >Glance at him
  690. What's your name, boy?
  691. >"Talker, captain."
  692. >FUCKING REALLY?
  693. Oh.
  694. >You stomp back to your wheel.
  695. >Fluttershy hovers up to your head and nuzzles your cheek
  696. >"You were so brave, Captain!"
  697. Oh yes. The way I apologised was amazing, wasn't it?
  698. >"Yes! It was!"
  699. >Using sarcasm
  700. >On Fluttershy
  701. >I seriously hope you guys don't attempt this
  702. >Back to the present, you're descending through the ship until you reach the hull
  703. >It's dark
  704. >You smirk and grip your sword
  705. >You can take them
  706. >Let them come-
  707. >"SURPRIIIIIISE!"
  708. >Candles flicker to life and crewmembers jump out from behind barrels, wearing party hats.
  709. >You scream like a girl and throw Fluttershy at them
  710. AMBUSH! HOLD THEM OFF, FLUTTERSHY!
  711. >You try to run back upstairs but a stampede of ponies rush down to meet you, carrying you with them back towards the ambushers
  712. >You're forced into a chair and a small table with a cake is pushed in front of you
  713. >You are so flabbergasted right now
  714. >The cake reads "Best Captain Ever"
  715. >It's written in pink icing
  716. >Where did they even get icing
  717. >First Mate Fluttershy happily pops a hat on your head and kisses you on the cheek
  718. >The crew d'awws
  719. >"H-happy Birthday, Captain!"
  720. >Birthdays
  721. >On a PIRATE SHIP
  722. Uhh, thanks. I guess. Now all of you get back to work, and get rid of this cake.
  723. >You try to stand
  724. >Several pairs of hooves push you back down
  725. >Talker laughs
  726. >"Nonsense, Captain! We must celebrate! We wouldn't be here were it not for you!"
  727. >You stare at him
  728. >God damn he's right.
  729. >You could be commanding a proper crew were it not for your lousy scouting skills
  730. >The ponies all start partying
  731. >Some of them playing instruments.
  732. >It's actually pretty good music
  733. >You find yourself tapping your foot while you eat the cake in a corner
  734. >You don't feel very captainy
  735. >Once the "Pirate Party" dies down you stumble back to your quarters
  736. >Faceplant onto the bed
  737. >You're so god damn drunk
  738. >And full of cake
  739. >Fucking Pony Pirate Parties.
  740. >Shortly after you collapse, you're enjoying the feeling of pillow on your face when you feel something trying to wriggle under your arm
  741. >Groan and move your face so that one eye can look out at the offender
  742. >Fluttershy is nudging your arm and trying to snuggle up next to you
  743. First Mate Fluttershy. What... What the h-hell are you doin'?
  744. >She hiccups and grins at you, blushing deeply
  745. >"D-do you want to plunder my booty, captain?"
  746. >Somewhere in the vast cosmos, a jimmy shifts out of place and you feel like what she just said was said someplace else at that exact same moment.
  747. >Shudder
  748. >Push her away
  749. No, Fluttershy. I gotta sleep. Captain's orders...
  750. >"B-but Captain... It's your b-birthday..."
  751. Go home, Fluttershy. You're drunk.
  752. >"So are you"
  753. Yeah but you're drunkerer.
  754. >"So am I"
  755. You are
  756. >"Yeah you are."
  757. I am
  758. >"You."
  759. I am so drunk
  760. >You both lose the ability to speak because of the alcohol and spend the next hour grunt and slurring your words at each other
  761. >"ssshffflllluuuugh" (Come on, Captain. Please partake in fornication with me.)
  762. Fllluuuubbbbbeerr sshluf naaaaahhhooo uuuuuuugh bububeh nuuuuuhhhheeeeshhhhfllluuu... (No)
  763. >You both pass out in each other's arms nonetheless. So technically Fluttershy won this one
  764. >Clever horse.
  765. >Day YaaaAAAAAARRGH THIS FUCKING HEADACHE in Equine-Land
  766. >Wake up with the mother of all headaches
  767. >Fluttershy is cuddled up to your chest, snoring
  768. >Push her off the bed and stumble out after her
  769. >She hits the floor and yelps, bolting awake
  770. >"HUH? WHAT?"
  771. Fuckin' First Fate Fluferfy
  772. >"S-sorry, Captain?"
  773. I said stand to attention, First Mate Fluttershy. My head is killing me.
  774. >"O-oh. Ok."
  775. Look. I'm really fucking hungover right now. Can you please run the ship for a while? Tell the crew I'm busy plotting important pirate stuff.
  776. >She salutes
  777. >"Aye aye captain"
  778. >She flies out the door, and you hear voices
  779. >"What's that Fluttershy? You slept with the Captain and now he's hiding in there because he's too ashamed and also his head hurts a bit so he's telling you to lie for him so that we don't think any less of him?"
  780. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, FLUTTERSHY
  781. >You hear an ‘eep’, followed by the crew bellowing with laughter
  782. >Lie back on the bed and stare at the ceiling
  783. >You're a lousy captain.
  784. >All you want is to pillage and main
  785. >You haven't even used your sword since you got here
  786. >You're not even sure if it's made of metal.
  787. >Sigh
  788. >Think back to your days of actual pirating
  789. >Cannon-fire smoke
  790. >Screaming men
  791. >Wood being strained under pressure from high winds
  792. >Sword fights on the decks of foreign vessels
  793. >Plundering jewels and gold then hiding it away just for the sake of doing it
  794. >Being a pirate was fucking awesome
  795. >Here, you've "attacked" 4 ships and only ended up embarrassing yourself.
  796. >Fucking Shaman.
  797. >Listen closely for a second
  798. >Silence
  799. >Sit up
  800. >Strain your ears
  801. >Absolutely nothing
  802. >Suddenly a scream pierces the air
  803. >Jump off the bed and run to the door, sword in hand
  804. >Throw it open, just it time to watch a crew member get crushed by a giant tentacle and dragged off the side of the ship
  805. >SWEET SEMEN OF BARTENDERS
  806. KRAAAAAAAKEEEEEN!
  807. >The ship is surrounded by at least 8 massive tentacles, all waving around in the air
  808. >One of the slams onto the ship, narrowly missing a crewmate
  809. >It's utter panic
  810. >Crewmembers are running around in circles
  811. >Pegasi try to stab at the tentacles with harpoons
  812. >Some get too brave and get too close, only to get snagged in mid-air and pulled screaming into the ocean
  813. >You grimace and grip your sword even tighter
  814. >A smaller tentacle shoots near to you
  815. >You slice the air and cut straight through it before it reaches you, blood and ink spraying everywhere as the tentacle flails around
  816. Huh. I guess it IS metal.
  817. >A deep rumbling shudders the ship
  818. >Fluttershy appears at your side, looking haggard
  819. >"I-I think it felt that, C-captain"
  820. >A monstrous scream echoes around you
  821. >The tentacles become more agitated, and begin tearing at the ship
  822. >Giant pieces of wood are torn off your beloved violator
  823. >You look around frantically
  824. >You see several rowing boats
  825. MEN! TO THE BOATS! ABANDON SHIP!
  826. >They all surge towards them, and once again you get the feeling that you've done this before in another life
  827. >Fluttershy helps other onto the boats as you watch the Kraken pull your ship apart
  828. >You shed a tear
  829. >The crew drop into the sea on the boats and start rowing
  830. >Small crew, really. So they all get off fine, except the ones killed by the Kraken
  831. >You feel a tug on your leg, just as another blow rocks the ship
  832. >Look down and see Fluttershy
  833. >"C-come on, Captain! We have to g-go!"
  834. >Shake your head
  835. No, Fluttershy. A captain must always go down with the ship
  836. >She glares at you
  837. >"Oh no you don't, mister. I'm not letting the Kraken touch that sweet ass"
  838. WHAT-
  839. >She smacks you over the head with a plank of wood and you faceplant the deck before blacking out
  840. >Feel something slapping your face
  841. >Slowly come to
  842. >Tinky is gently slapping your face with a hoof
  843. >Push him away and sit up, just in time to see, from a distance, the Kraken crush your ship and drag it below the waves
  844. NO! THE VIOLATOR! IT'S BEEN... VIOLATED!
  845. >You stare in horror at where you beautiful vessel once was
  846. >Sit down and hold your face in your hands
  847. >Fluttershy pats you on the back
  848. >"There there, Captain. You'll live to plunder another day"
  849. >Turn on her
  850. WHAT PLUNDERING?! MY SHIP IS GONE, MY CREW AREN'T PIRATES AND I HAVEN'T GOT ANY GOLD TO MY NAME!
  851. >Slump
  852. I'm a terrible pirate...
  853. >Talker... talks.
  854. >"Now, Captain. That's no way to speak! You're a great pirate!"
  855. >Sniff
  856. Y-you r-really think so?
  857. >"Sure! So you lost your ship, big deal. We can get another ship!"
  858. >Wipe your nose
  859. C-can we steal it?
  860. >He smiles warmly
  861. >"Of course we can, Captain."
  862. >Beam at him and stand up
  863. WELL THEN, WHAT ARE YE WAITIN' FOR, YE SALTY SEA DOGS! FULL SPEED AHEAD! NEXT STOP! LAND!
  864. >The crew in your boat, as well as the others nearby, all cheer
  865. >You place your hands on your hips and look towards the horizon with a devilish grin
  866. >Things are finally looking up
  867. >And piracy awaits you on the open seas.
  868.  
  869. ---
  870. [Day 4 -- The End of the World]
  871. ---
  872.  
  873. >Day 567 in Equestria
  874. >Wake up
  875. >Knock on the door
  876. Oh come on, I'm not even up yet.
  877. >Grumble and get up, wearing just your boxers
  878. >Stomp downstairs and throw open the door
  879. >Fluttershy as usual
  880. >"Hello!"
  881. Why the hell do you look so thrilled?
  882. >"Because I woke up and thought 'today's the day I'm going to get my Anon!'"
  883. Wow. Two sentences without stuttering. That's a Ponyville record.
  884. >"T-thankyou"
  885. Aaand you blew it. Nice work. Now fuck off.
  886. >Slam the door
  887. >Knock
  888. >Open it
  889. I fuckin-
  890. >It's Pinkie Pie
  891. Oh, hi.
  892. >"Hiya, Anon! Wanna come to a party?"
  893. >Stroke your chin
  894. >Pinkie parties are always fun
  895. Sure, I'll go. What's the occassion?
  896. >"The end of the world, silly!"
  897. What.
  898. >She disappears in a burst of confetti
  899. >You stare at where she once was
  900. WHAT.
  901. >You run back inside and look at the calender
  902. >'End of World today'
  903. OH SHIT.
  904. >You run upstairs and throw on some clothes
  905. >Sprint into the bathroom
  906. >Shit so hard you think you burst a blood vessel in your face
  907. >Shave so quick you slice your cheek open
  908. >Shower with your clothes still on
  909. Fuckfuckfuck
  910. >No time for stairs, you jump from the top step and land at the bottom, moving into a roll when you hit it.
  911. >Run out the door, hastily locking it
  912. >Screw breakfast, you have an entire day to kill before the world ends.
  913. >Your lungs burn as you run as fast and hard as you can into Ponyville
  914. >Ponies watch you pass in a blur with confused looks on their faces
  915. >Rainbow Dash, probably sensing the speed, flies alongside you
  916. >"Hey, Anon! Whatcha doin?"
  917. Hey, Dash! Gotta do shit today, the world's ending!
  918. >"Oh yeah, it is! I gotta go to. Laters, Anon!"
  919. >She does a U-turn and flies away
  920. >You keep running for the Library
  921. >Reach the front door and punch it instead of knocking
  922. >Ffffffuck that hurt.
  923. >You nurse your knuckles while Spike opens the door
  924. >"Hey-"
  925. >Jump over him and run over the TWilight
  926. >She looks up at you, smiling
  927. >"Morning, Anonymous! What's the matter?"
  928. It's the end of the world!
  929. >She thinks for a second
  930. >"Oh, of course! Well I'm sure Pinkie will be throwing another party!"
  931. >She chuckles
  932. >You stare at her, open-mouthed.
  933. W-what? Twilight. The world is coming to an end! The calender said so!
  934. >Twilight trots past you on the way to her kitchen
  935. >"Want something to eat? You look hungry"
  936. >Your stomach rumbles
  937. >May as well eat something. No point passing out on your last day alive
  938. >Twilight gets you a banana
  939. >A little joke of hers
  940. >Jokes on her, you fucking love bananas
  941. >Chomp it down while she giggles
  942. >"So, mister monkey. Why so worked up?"
  943. Oh I don't know. THE WORLD IS ENDING. Doesn't that bother you?!
  944. >She eats some oats out of a bowl, talking over mouthfuls
  945. >"Not really. Happens around this time every year. You missed the last time it ended."
  946. >Gawp at her
  947. Wha...?
  948. >She swallows her oats
  949. >"It happens all the time, Anon! It'll be over by the end of tonight, don't worry."
  950. >You stand up
  951. I don't know how you can remain so calm about this.
  952. >Walk out
  953. >Fucking ponies
  954. >On the way out of the library a nearby bush picks itself up and follows you
  955. >It rustles and follows you back through town
  956. >Turn around and glare at it
  957. >It squeaks and sprouts yellow wings
  958. >Growl
  959. >Reach inside and drag Jonquil-Nervous out by her mane
  960. >She blushes and tries to hide her face behind her hooves
  961. >It looks absolutely adorable
  962. >You hate it
  963. Can't I please enjoy my last day on this miserable planet without you, please?
  964. >She looks shocked at this
  965. >"L-last day? LAST DAY? W-where are you g-going?"
  966. >She starts hyperventilating
  967. >"A-are you dying?!"
  968. >She breaks free of your grip and latches onto your chest, hugging you incredibly hard and pressing her face into your ribs
  969. >"D-DON'T LEAVE ME!"
  970. >You sigh
  971. Relax, Fluttershy. We're all going to die together. Now get the hell off me.
  972. >You manage to pry her off
  973. >She's far stronger than she looks
  974. >You put her down and glare at her
  975. >She ogles you, tears in her eyes and her lips trembling
  976. >"I-I don't w-want to l-lose you..."
  977. >She begins openly crying in the middle of the street
  978. >You stand there awkwardly, just letting her do her own thing
  979. >Looking around, you see ponies glaring at you and shaking their heads
  980. >You groan and crouch down
  981. >You place a hand under her chin and bring her head up
  982. Fluttershy, don't cry.
  983. >She sniffs and tries not to
  984. We're all going to die together! It'll probably be over in an instant.
  985. >You smile reassuredly at her
  986. >She blinks
  987. >Then starts sobbing
  988. >Her wails echo around Ponyville
  989. >She jumps into you again and begins using your shirt as a handkerchief
  990. Oh come on...
  991. >She ignores you and latches onto your chest again, crying and wiping her nose on you
  992. >Stand up and glare at the ponies looking towards you
  993. >Because you're so intimidating and cool and have a sobbing pegasus attached to your chest, they look away from your gaze
  994. >Walk down the street with your hands in your pockets, wearing Fluttershy like some sort of frontal-backpack
  995. >Ponies be starin
  996. >Ponies be hatin
  997. >Fuck the police
  998. >You switch up the walk and start swaggering down that god damn road
  999. >Fluttershy has since stopped crying and is just holding on, licking your neck
  1000. >You don't bother stopping her. Not like it will do anything.
  1001. >"Oh Anon~... You taste soo gooood."
  1002. >Fuck that previous statement
  1003. >Tear her off you and throw her on the ground
  1004. >She bounces
  1005. >Like piece of rubber
  1006. >What.
  1007. >You watch her flail and bounce on the spot for a while, scratching your head
  1008. I don't... What?
  1009. >Pinkie Pie bounces out of nowhere and joins Fluttershy, bouncing on the spot next to her
  1010. >"Hee hee heeee! Oh this is FUN!"
  1011. No it isn't. Stop bouncing.
  1012. >Pinkie Pie stops bouncing and pouts
  1013. >Fluttershy carries on
  1014. >...
  1015. And stop HER as well, for fucks sake.
  1016. >Pinkie reaches over and stops Fluttershy from bouncing
  1017. >"T-thank you, Pinkie..."
  1018. >Fuckin' horses.
  1019. >Pinkie turns to you
  1020. >"Soooo ANON! Are you coming to the party tonight, huh?"
  1021. I already said I was.
  1022. >She giggles
  1023. >"I know! I just wanted to ask again!"
  1024. >She bounces in place and smiles at you
  1025. ...Why are you here, Pinkie Pie.
  1026. >"W-well the party says that you wear fancy dress!"
  1027. Actually I'm thinking of wearing all black. Given the occassion.
  1028. >"That's not very fancy."
  1029. Uhh. I'd be going as a uhh... Undertaker!
  1030. >She perks up
  1031. >"Great! You'll wanna wear all black for that!"
  1032. >You resist the urge to scream
  1033. >"Ok well I've got parties to plan! Bye Anon! Bye Fluttershy!"
  1034. >And she disappears in another bang of confetti.
  1035. >Literally, a bang.
  1036. >Your ears hurt and you can smell gunpowder
  1037. >You worry about that pony at times
  1038. >Fluttershy looks up at you
  1039. >"A-anon?"
  1040. What.
  1041. >"C-can I please spend the day with you?"
  1042. No.
  1043. >"Why not?"
  1044. Because I don't like you or your company. And I want to spend my last day alone. How is this a difficult concept to grasp?
  1045. >She whimpers and tears start forming again
  1046. >"B-but... But..."
  1047. No buts. Leave.
  1048. >She hangs her head in sadness
  1049. >"Ok, Anon... If that's what you want..."
  1050. >She flutters away
  1051. >You stroll towards Applejack's farm, time to get some answers
  1052. >Your walk to the farm is uneventful, but you keep looking at the sky, expecting a meteorite to crash into the world at any second
  1053. >Thankfully, nothing falls to earth
  1054. >You reach the farm and Applejack hails you over
  1055. >"Howdy, Anon! What can I do ya for?"
  1056. >A single bit and I'll plough that ass, Applejack.
  1057. Uhh, what's this about the world ending?
  1058. >"Ahh shoot, nop0ny told ya? Well the world's gonna end tonight. Ya should head on down ta Pinkie's place to celebrate"
  1059. Cele... brate...
  1060. >Your mind breaks and you walk off down the road, mumbling to yourself and plodding along like a zombie
  1061. Celebra... te...
  1062. >You shuffle into Ponyville, a vacant gaze on your face the whole time
  1063. >You enter the park and sit down on a bench, gazing at nothing and mumbling to yourself
  1064. Celebrate...
  1065. >You do this for hours.
  1066. >The evening rolls around and you shake your head when you realise how dark it is
  1067. >Look to the left
  1068. >A minty green pony is sat next to you, drinking a shake
  1069. How long have you been there?
  1070. >"Oh, well I saw you sitting there so I decided to join you. About uhhh. 4 hours."
  1071. You were sat there for 4 hours?
  1072. >"Yeah. You're a great listener by the way. It's not every day I tell someone about my issues with Bon Bon."
  1073. >She hops off the bench and pats you on the leg
  1074. >"Great meeting you, Uuuugh."
  1075. uuuugh?
  1076. >"Yeah. When I asked your name you said "Uuuugh". I thought it was exotic. It suits you. Anyway, I'm off to an End of the World party. Bye!"
  1077. >Her horn lights up and she teleports away
  1078. >You thought only Twilight could do that.
  1079. >You wander through town
  1080. >Under the evening sun, ponies are hanging up banners
  1081. >"Merry End of the World!"
  1082. >You shake your head
  1083. This world is insane. Everyone is insane.
  1084. >You walk past a stall, that is selling strange looking candy apples
  1085. >Go over
  1086. Hey. What are these?
  1087. >"Doom Apples!"
  1088. What.
  1089. >"Look! The Apple represents the world, and the melted cheese is the lava that will consume it!"
  1090. >Melted cheese on an apple.
  1091. >That disturbs you more than the event it represents.
  1092. >Turn around
  1093. >Pink vision.
  1094. >"HIYA ANON! You ready to par-tay? I changed the location to a hill! Isn't that great?!"
  1095. Uhhh.
  1096. >"Great! Come on, lets go!"
  1097. >She drags you out of town and towards a hill, where you spot the mane 6, as well as several other ponies dotted around on mats, gazing at the sky
  1098. >Pinkie Pie stops dragging you when you reach the mat
  1099. >Rainbow Dash greets you
  1100. >"Hey, Anon. You ready? I got all that stuff I wanted to do done, so tonight should be great!"
  1101. >You look at the sky
  1102. >Not a cloud in sight for miles
  1103. Damn, Rainbow. You really went all out... For the end of the world.
  1104. >"Heck yeah! I don't wanna miss a thing!"
  1105. >You don't bother asking why. You've already gathered that everyone in this town is off the rails.
  1106. >Twilight shuffles over and sits next to you
  1107. >"It's going to be great, Anon. Just watch."
  1108. You still never explained how you're alive if the world ends every year
  1109. >Suddenly a great rift opens in the sky
  1110. >A voice booms out across the land
  1111. >Celestias
  1112. >"My faithful subjects. Tonight is the annual end of the world!"
  1113. >Everyone on the hill cheers, and you hear Ponyville scream in response to Celestia as well.
  1114. >"Naturally, to keep the magic of this world alive, we must sacrifice one planet every year, and harvest the raw energy it gives off in order to retain our magic!"
  1115. YOU FUCKING WHAT.
  1116. >Twilight shushes you
  1117. >"This year, my sister has been on the search for a suitable world, and we found one! A lovely little rock far on the edge of the galaxy!"
  1118. >More cheers
  1119. >You are absolutely horrified right now
  1120. >The rift, previously inky black and floating in the sky, flickers, and an image of a little green planet hovering in space is shown
  1121. >"Of course, there is no life on this planet. Because that would go against our code of decency. So, ponies! Shall we blow her up?"
  1122. >Celestia giggles
  1123. >EVeryone cheers
  1124. >You just stare, mouth agape
  1125. >Celestia then begins a countdown
  1126. >"FIVE!"
  1127. >"FOUR!"
  1128. >"THREE!"
  1129. >"TWO!"
  1130. >"ONE!"
  1131. >At that moment, a beam of bright yellow energy explodes out of Canterlot in the distance, and towards the night sky.
  1132. >A few seconds pass, and then the rift shows the planet get struck by the beam, causing it to shudder, and veins of yellow appear all over it
  1133. >The veins fade, and another moment passes
  1134. >Before the planet detonates
  1135. >In a spectacular supernova, the planet is obliterated. Energy and radiation shooting out in all directions
  1136. >Shortly after, the residue and light all gathers together and flies away in the direction the beam came from
  1137. >The radiation of a supernova, and all the energy that goes with it, cascades onto Equestria, and the skies burn bright with yellow and orange hues
  1138. >You gawp at it, unable to speak or even comprehend just how it's happening
  1139. >Instead you stand up and walk away from the Mane 6, all of them smiling up at the sky
  1140. >This wasn't in the show
  1141. >This wasn't in the show at all
  1142. >You stop a small distance away from the Mane 6 and look back at the sky
  1143. >The colours swirl, like a maelstrom of energy
  1144. >Scientists back on Earth would throw a fit if they saw this. This isn't scientifically possible.
  1145. >You slump onto the grass and just gaze at it all
  1146. >"It's really quite something, isn't it?"
  1147. >You look next to you
  1148. >A light brown unicorn is looking up at the sky, an indifferent look on his face
  1149. I'm sorry?
  1150. >He continues
  1151. >"Though really, it's quite predictable."
  1152. I... I thought the world was actually going to end. Not blow up another planet.
  1153. >"I can understand why. You're new here, afterall. So this must be quite a shock to you."
  1154. Oh... Okay
  1155. >You sit in silence and look up at the sky with him
  1156. >"So you really didn't figure it out?"
  1157. No, did you?
  1158. >"First time I knew what it was, yeah. I was young at the time. All the previous years my parents kept me indoors because I was scared of loud noises"
  1159. >He chuckles
  1160. >"So they never explained it"
  1161. >"Then one year I step outside and see people celebrating the end of the world. I figured it out in a few hours. I was fine after that. Still, it's quite shocking the first time."
  1162. >Smile at him
  1163. Glad to know I'm not the only one. I thought everyone was insane. Still kinda do, considering they're celebrating the death of a planet
  1164. >"Yeah. It's mad. I don't like it, but it's gotta be done. Ponies need magic to survive. Otherwise the world would come crashing down around us."
  1165. I see...
  1166. >You both sit in silence and watch the sky form beautiful patterns with the cosmic energy
  1167. >You feel a bit cheated
  1168. >No one even explained it to you. You've been panicking all day.
  1169. >But it doesn't really matter anymore
  1170. >It's happened, and there's nothing you can do about it.
  1171. >You sigh and lie back on the grass, and your mysterious new friend joins you
  1172. >The hours roll by and you just lie there in silence, the other ponies disperce but you don't care
  1173. >The cosmic energy fades gradually and you're left looking at the night sky, dark once more.
  1174. >Turn to the stallion
  1175. So uhh. What was your name again?
  1176. >"Oh. Clederick"
  1177. Clederick...
  1178. >What a lovely name.
  1179.  
  1180. ---
  1181. [Day 5 -- Crimefighters]
  1182. ---
  1183.  
  1184. >Day Unfathomable Violence in Equestria
  1185. >Fluttershy glides through the night sky
  1186. >She quivers again, and moans slightly
  1187. >You don't know why she keeps doing it
  1188. >"A-anon... We're nearly there"
  1189. Excellent! Take us low.
  1190. >She descends through the clouds, whimpering and quivering the whole time
  1191. >"Won't the police be angry?"
  1192. Fuck the cops. We ride alone.
  1193. >She touches down next to a crime scene down a back alley
  1194. >Manehatten always gave you the creeps
  1195. >A cop looks your way and his eyes widen
  1196. >Then a scowl crosses his face
  1197. >"For fucks sake Anon, we don't need you!"
  1198. Haha! That's hilarious!
  1199. >You push past him and stroll to the group of cops and detectives, who are crowded around a body
  1200. Gentlemen
  1201. >A detective with a large brown moustache and tired looking eyes turns to look at you
  1202. >"For fucks sake."
  1203. What seems to be the problem?
  1204. >"You."
  1205. Hilarious. I meant the body
  1206. >He grunts and turns back to the body
  1207. >It's a sorry looking mess
  1208. >The pony is a mare, light purple with a blonde mane.
  1209. >She's led against a wall, her face a picture of her final moments: Agony and fear
  1210. >Her stomach is cut straight open, like someone sliced a knife straight down the centre, and her stomach, intestines and liver are protruding out slightly.
  1211. >Her hooves have been mangled and crushed, seems like her killer took the time to crush them with something heavy
  1212. >Blood coats the area around her and small pools of vomit are dotted around
  1213. >You nod slowly
  1214. I think I know what happened.
  1215. >A cop turns to you.
  1216. >"What?"
  1217. She died.
  1218. >"OH FOR FUCKS SAKE"
  1219. Not to worry, officer. I shall crack this case. You can count on me!
  1220. >You mount Fluttershy and slap her ass, causing her to yelp and take flight
  1221. >The cop shakes his hoof and screams after you
  1222. >"GOD DAMMIT, ANON! YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING DETECTIVE!"
  1223. >You are Anon
  1224. >Detective.
  1225. >You touch down back at Fluttershy's cottage, Ponyville.
  1226. >Fluttershy wheezes on the floor while you smile and gaze at the night sky
  1227. I think we're gonna crack this one, Flutters. I can feel it.
  1228. >"Y-you can feel me... I-if you want"
  1229. >Ignore her.
  1230. >Walk inside the cottage
  1231. >Fluttershy follows you
  1232. >"S-so what now, Anon?"
  1233. Now, partner. We sleep. We have a big day tomorrow!
  1234. >You march upstairs and get into Fluttershy's bed after stripping off
  1235. >Fluttershy walks through the door and sees you, causing her wings to become erect and a deep shade of red to cross her face
  1236. >"Oh, Anon! A-are you-"
  1237. Sleeping? Yeah. Come on. You need rest as well.
  1238. >She squeals and jumps into bed with you, snuggling up to your chest
  1239. >You always saw her as a glorified pillow.
  1240. >She's warm, and soft, and smells weird.
  1241. >With a smile on your face and thoughts of crime swirling around your mind, you fall asleep.
  1242.  
  1243. >Day Unparalleled Bloodshed in Equestria
  1244. >Wake up, with Fluttershy's face drooling all over your chest
  1245. >Push her off and get up, pulling on some clothes and trudging downstairs
  1246. >You settle down and eat something in the kitchen, some cereal called "Mangle-O's"
  1247. >'They taste like slaughter and carnage.'
  1248. >Fuckin' weird slogan. What kind of sick person would find that appealing?
  1249. >Fluttershy walks through the doorway, yawning
  1250. >"M-morning, Anon..."
  1251. Mornin' partner. Ready to crack some cases?
  1252. >"Sure, I guess."
  1253. Great! Lets go!
  1254. >"B-but I haven't eaten-"
  1255. No time, Fluttershy! We have crimes to solve!
  1256. >You drag her outside and mount her
  1257. >She instantly forgets her hunger and perks up, trembling again
  1258. Ready?
  1259. >"R-r-r-ready"
  1260. >You slap her ass as hard as you can
  1261. >Fluttershy moans in response and shakes violently, before lifting off
  1262. >She glides over the landscape towards Manehatten
  1263. >Some would say that forcing a Pegasus as weak as Fluttershy to carry something two times her weight 100 miles East to Manehatten is morally outrageous
  1264. >You call those people CRIMINALS
  1265. >Trees and rivers pass by below you, and you marvel at the beauty of this land
  1266. >Fluttershy pants and struggles to keep you afloat
  1267. >She tries so hard
  1268. >She must really love fighting crime
  1269. >Manehatten comes into view after about an hour of flying and you ruffle Fluttershy's mane
  1270. Almost there, Flutters!
  1271. >She responds by spluttering and gasping for air
  1272. >She glides over the city, and you see the police station below
  1273. Down there! Let's go.
  1274. >Fluttershy's wings lock up and she drops from the sky like a stone, you riding her down all the way with absolutely no concern at all.
  1275.  
  1276. >You are Sunny Cells.
  1277. >Police Officer
  1278. >You're happily doodling in your note-pad, dreaming of a knight in shining armour who will someday sweep you off your feet
  1279. >Sigh
  1280. >It's hard though. Not every stallion wants to be with another stallion...
  1281. >You gaze out the window longingly, just wishing for something to happen to you for once...
  1282. >At that moment, a giant hairless ape riding one of the Elements of Harmony crash-lands through the roof, getting plaster, bits of roof tile and wood everywhere.
  1283. >Be Anon
  1284. >Fluttershy's amazing entry will no doubt be the talk of the town for months to come
  1285. >Then maybe you can start getting some notoriety around these parts
  1286. >You stand up and off Fluttershy, who is a crumpled mess on the floor, dust and plasterboard stuck in her mane
  1287. >She groans
  1288. >You straighten up and dust off your shoulder
  1289. >Survey the room
  1290. >A Stallion is looking at you
  1291. >He has a massive erection
  1292. >He blushes
  1293. >"Hey, thailor."
  1294. >He has one hell of a lisp
  1295. Good morning! My name is Anon and this is my Partner, Fluttershy.
  1296. >His face lights up
  1297. >"Awww, the'th your partner? That'th tho cute!"
  1298. I uhh- Yes! It is!
  1299. >Clear your throat
  1300. Tell me, have you seen any horrible murderers around here recently?
  1301. >He puts a hoof to his chin and ponders this
  1302. >"Hmm... Well there wath thith one thing that happened like, 2 hourth ago. Thomep0ny wath murdered downtown."
  1303. Sounds horrible.
  1304. >"Oh it wath, it wath. Blood everywhere. Ruined the carpet."
  1305. Can you show me?
  1306. >"I can thow you more than that, big guy."
  1307. >He winks
  1308. >You stare at him
  1309. >Fluttershy staggers to her feet and coughs up a bit of blood
  1310. You ok, partner?
  1311. >"Umm."
  1312. >She coughs again
  1313. >A mixture of blood and bile flies out of her mouth and hits the floor
  1314. >"Yes."
  1315. Excellent! We have a murder scene to investigate
  1316. >The Police Pony hops off his stool, erection still in full force
  1317. >"Get your cute little butt over here, handthome. I'll thow you the thene."
  1318. >You pick up Fluttershy under your arm and carry her out of the station after the police officer
  1319. >Said officer looks over his shoudler
  1320. >"I'm Thunny Thells, by the way."
  1321. Hiya, Sunny Cells. Mind if I call you Sunny?
  1322. >His dick throbs
  1323. >"Thure thing"
  1324. >He winks
  1325. >Well. He sure is enthusiastic about the job. He has literal hardon for police work
  1326. >You just don't find that kind of motivation nowadays
  1327. >You follow him down the street, watching him sway his flanks as he walks until you all get to house with a kicked in door
  1328. >"It's just in here. Watch your step!"
  1329. >You stride over the threshold and set Fluttershy down
  1330. >You can't believe you carried her all the way here
  1331. >Fluttershy looks around
  1332. >"I-it smells in here..."
  1333. That's the smell of crime, partner. Now let’s do some detective work
  1334. >You walk upstairs and start poking around
  1335. >Fluttershy investigates the other rooms
  1336. >Sunny floats around and peeks at you when you're not looking
  1337. >He must admire your confidence as an agent of the law
  1338. >Even if you are a freelancer, you must admit that you impress yourself sometimes.
  1339. >Some days you just stare at the mirror and stroke your own face
  1340. >Then you lean into your reflection, lips puckered
  1341. >Then things get weird for a few minutes and you avoid mirrors for the rest of the day
  1342. >Shake your head
  1343. >Now's not the time for crazy thoughts
  1344. >It's the time for good old fashioned police work
  1345. >Just like dad would have wanted
  1346. >You pull out a locket with a picture of your dad in it
  1347. >A man in a black and white striped shirt, carrying a bag of cash and a decapitated head grins at you
  1348. >Sniff
  1349. I'll do you proud, daddy.
  1350. >Search the house for a while longer and find a room courted off by police tape
  1351. Well. Here it is.
  1352. >Shout into the rest of the house
  1353. GUYS! I FOUND IT!
  1354. >"O-ok!"
  1355. >"Faaaabulooooouth!"
  1356. >You walk past the tape and up to a body covered in a white cloth
  1357. >Crouch down and pull it back
  1358. >A middle-aged looking Stallion lies there, his lifeless eyes staring at nothing.
  1359. >Several massive eviscerations are all over his body.
  1360. >Seems like his attacker just stabbed him over and over again at random
  1361. >Pulling the cloth back further, you see that his lower hind leg had been torn off at the knee, the lower half located just next to it
  1362. Hmm... This doesn't make sense.
  1363. >Turn back and see Fluttershy and Sunny drooling at you from behind
  1364. >They see you look back
  1365. >Fluttershy clears her throat and trots forward
  1366. >Sunny starts inspecting the ceiling, erection still prominent.
  1367. >Fluttershy looks a little bit pale when she sees the body
  1368. >"C-can we go now?"
  1369. Don't be scared, Fluttershy. But this doesn't make sense. Seems like the killer killed his victim, then just tore off the leg at the joint here. But why?
  1370. >Sunny walks up to your other side
  1371. >"Well it wath a nathty little event, thith one."
  1372. What do you know?
  1373. >"Killer was a thychopath. Just did it for the heck of it. Givth me the creepth."
  1374. Did you ever catch him?
  1375. >"Nope. He got away."
  1376. ...
  1377. >Uh oh.
  1378. >"Thomthing wrong, thailor?"
  1379. >You look back at the body fearfully
  1380. When did you say this murder happened?
  1381. >"2 hourth ago."
  1382. Oh god.
  1383. >"What?"
  1384. First rule of detective work, Sunny! It says it right in the "Police Work for Foals" book!"
  1385. >You stand up straight
  1386. The killer will always return to the scene of the crime
  1387. >" And aright you are, Anny!"
  1388. >That voice
  1389. >It can't be-
  1390. >You spin around and face the new voice
  1391. >It is.
  1392. >Pinkamena Diane Pie.
  1393. >Pinkie grins at you all from the doorway
  1394. >She holds a knife in her hoof
  1395. >Somehow
  1396. >Always Pone Magic.
  1397. >Take a step forward
  1398. Why'd ya do it, Pink?
  1399. >"Because I love blood, silly!"
  1400. >Glare at her
  1401. >"Oh. And also I was paid."
  1402. >She throws a wad of paper at you
  1403. >Unfurl it
  1404. > 'Kill peeps. kthnx. ~FF'
  1405. Eff Eff? Who's that?
  1406. >"Dunno! But they like blood as much as I do!"
  1407. Alright, Pinkie Pie. Your wave of terror has come to an end. Guys? Let's take this bitch down.
  1408. >Fluttershy pisses herself and curls into foetal position
  1409. >Sunny is on the other side of the room, sat in a chair and waving a little flag with "Team Anon" written on it
  1410. >He sees you looking and blows a kiss
  1411. >Fucking Sunny
  1412. >Look back at Pinkie
  1413. >She grins and switches hooves holding the knife, giving it a little twirl and generally playing with it
  1414. >"This is gonna be fun!"
  1415. >Gulp.
  1416. >Pinkie Pie charges at you
  1417. >You sprint forward and kick out at her
  1418. >She ducks under your leg and slices your calf muscle
  1419. >You cry out in pain and Pinkie Pie giggles
  1420. >Turning to face her, she jumps towards you again, brandishing the knife, now glistening with red
  1421. >You stand your ground and prepare to grab her knife arm
  1422. >She moves at the last second and slashes your face
  1423. >You scream and fall back, clutching your cheek as warm blood cascades from the new wound
  1424. >Pinkie circles you, giggling
  1425. >"Ohh, this is fun and all. But just a teeeny tiny bit... Uninspired. Here! I'll make things fun for you!"
  1426. >She pounces on you and you roll around on the floor for a while, suffering several more cuts at vulnerable parts of your body
  1427. >You manage to kick her away from you, and she goes sprawling across the room
  1428. >You hastily stand, clutching your chest that now has several deep cuts across it
  1429. >She picks herself up and shakes her head
  1430. >You chipped her front tooth
  1431. >She notices it and runs a tongue across the new jagged edge
  1432. >A deranged look crosses her face and she slices her own tongue on the sharpened tooth, savouring the blood that emerges from it
  1433. >"Mmmmm! This is delicious!... But I bet yours tastes even better!"
  1434. >She bursts into a fit of crazed giggles and runs at you again, her mouth open wide, intending to bite you
  1435. >She jumps at your chest again but you punch out at her face while she's in flight
  1436. >It takes a fraction of a second, but your fist connects with her mouth before she can reach you
  1437. >The collision has enough force behind it for your fist to shatter her front teeth, fragments of which cut and dig into your knuckles as your fist travels into her maw
  1438. >She keeps going, travelling into your fist until your wrist is inside her mouth and down her throat
  1439. >That's where your fist stops, but as Pinkie struggles to gnaw on your forearm with no teeth left, you press her against the floor and push your fist further into her gullet
  1440. >Panic fills her and she tries to flail around
  1441. >You cram your fist down her throat, the tight walls breaking from the size of the object being forced down it
  1442. >Pinkie screams over your now blood-soaked forearm
  1443. >You keep pushing, forcing your arm further and further into Pinkie's body
  1444. >You force your hand through muscle and bone, sickening cracks and hot bodily fluids swirling around your arm
  1445. >You watch the bulge that is your arm reach the middle of her chest
  1446. >Giving one final push, your hand reaches a rapidly pulsating organ
  1447. >You growl and grip it in your fist, before roaring, and with every last ounce of strength, you tear out Pinkie Pie's heart from her own throat
  1448. >Blood, vomit, bile and tears soak you and the floor around Pinkie's now lifeless body
  1449. >A massive forearm shaped hole has replaced her throat, and you can see right into her body, since her jaw broke to accommodate your arm and is now wide open
  1450. >Several hours later, the cops have arrived and cleaned up the mess
  1451. >Fluttershy is wrapped in a towel and you have a medic pulling bits of tooth and bone out of your cut up arms, as well as patching up the multitude of cuts and slashes all over you
  1452. >A detective walks up to you
  1453. >He has a large brown moustache and tired looking eyes
  1454. >He takes one look at you and shakes his head
  1455. >"For fucks sake."
  1456. >Grin at him
  1457. Hey, I found your killer. She was working for this "FF" person. Any ideas?
  1458. >"Nope. But we'll keep looking."
  1459. >He turns around and walks away
  1460. >Then stops and looks over his shoulder
  1461. >"Go home, Anon"
  1462. Haha. That's hilarious.
  1463. >Patched up, you turn to Fluttershy
  1464. Ready to go?
  1465. >She smiles weakly up at you
  1466. >"Y-you just killed one of the Elements of Harmony..."
  1467. I did, didn't I?
  1468. >You put your hands on your hips and smile proudly at the setting sun
  1469.  
  1470. I really did.
  1471.  
  1472. The End

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