[BATPONIES] Late Night Raiding


                                            Originally uploaded to Pastebin: June 14th, 2013

                                            ---


                                            WHATS THIS?

                                            A story that isn't for Flutterrape?

                                            Call the inquisition and scramble the jets, this Pastebin is falling apart!


                                            An Anon asked me for an odd request. He wanted me to write a story for the Batpony threads.

                                            I was surprised. It's not every day I get someone from another thread asking me for a request, as I thought that Flutterrape was like Cuba and didn't accept tourists.

                                            But just like Cuba in recent years has opened the gates to tourism, it turns out there are actually people from other threads that browse Flutterrape. Colour me shocked. And also Fidel Castro. He can be shocked too.


                                            "hey sexy, i have a suggestion i-if you don't mind...

                                            maybe write something along the lines of The Shifting Sands of Ponyville with the bat pony?

                                            again, just a suggestion"


                                            It's not much. But it's Batpone. I wrote it at night so that I could immerse myself in darkness and "Become the bat", so to speak.

                                            Needless to say, I enjoyed writing a story that didn't need to have rape in it. Even if it did feel a bit weird.

                                            I wouldn't have even put it on the Pastebin, but an Anon asked me to. And I just can't say no to a face like Anon's.


                                            Does Anon even -have- a face?

                                            Shit.


                                            ---

                                            >Day Spooks in Equestria

                                            >Wake up in the dead of night to the sound of something downstairs

                                            >Climb out of bed and grab the large piece of wood covered in nails you keep next to the dresser for security reasons

                                            >Push open the door and creep across the landing to the stairs, listening the whole time

                                            >A floorboard creaks

                                            >Freeze

                                            >Wait a few moments before continuing downstairs, the bat in your hands held over your head ready to smack whatever comes at you

                                            >Reach the bottom step and pause again

                                            >The noise is coming from your kitchen

                                            >Squeeze the bat in your hands and gulp

                                            >Tip-toe towards the faint light coming from the room

                                            >Feel your heart rate increase

                                            >Take a deep breath as quietly as you can before lunging around the corner

                                            "AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRHHHH!"

                                            >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

                                            "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH?!

                                            >"AAAAAAAAAH?"

                                            "AH!"

                                            >"AH."

                                            >...

                                            >"So you weren't -actually- going to eat this pie, were you?"

                                            >Sigh and rub your temples

                                            >Rest the bat against the wall and turn your attention to the bat raiding your fridge

                                            "Didn't you, like, eat already?"

                                            >"I get hungry at this time..."

                                            "You ate a whole three course meal not four hours ago."

                                            >"I'm a growing pony!"

                                            "You're twenty five..."

                                            >"Your face is twenty five."

                                            >Fucking Bat-Ponies.

                                            >The pony sticks her tongue out at you and goes back to rooting through your fridge

                                            >Walk over to her and pick her up, hoisting her under your arm

                                            >"Hey! I'm still hungry!"

                                            "You're -always- hungry."

                                            >"So?"

                                            "Who do you think pays for this food?"

                                            >Nudge the fridge door shut with a foot and head towards the stairs, picking up the bat with your other hand as you pass it

                                            >"Well it's not like YOU were going to eat it!"

                                            "I was."

                                            >"When?"

                                            "Later."

                                            >"When's later?"

                                            "When I'm hungry."

                                            >"Are you hungry now?"

                                            "Please stop interrogating me while I'm tired..."

                                            >"How are you tired? It's only twenty past one in the morning!"

                                            "..."

                                            >"Anon?"

                                            "..."

                                            >The pony huffs and goes silent while you lumber upstairs towards your bedroom

                                            >It was cute at first, but these constant raids on your food supply are quickly chipping away at your savings

                                            >You had no idea that bat-ponies ate so much

                                            >The one under your arm prods your leg

                                            >"Hey, Anon."

                                            >Don't answer her

                                            >"Aaaaaanon."

                                            >Too late. Too tired. Need sleep.

                                            >"Anon would it be weird if I... You know."

                                            >Push open your bedroom door and set the bat down

                                            >The wooden one, not the furry one

                                            >"Anon?"

                                            >Put the pony on the end of the bed where she clambers up the thin wooden pole next to it and dangles upside down from the ceiling beams

                                            >Get under the covers, your eyes on the verge of closing

                                            >Sigh and snuggle up in the warm covers

                                            >Sleep at last...

                                            >...

                                            >"So would be weird if I like, drank your blood while you slept?"

                                            >WHAT.

                                            >Sit bolt upright, fully awake once more

                                            "What did you just say?"

                                            >The pony drops from the ceiling and bounces on your bed, grinning toothily at you

                                            >You take note of her pearly white fangs, now more apparent than ever

                                            >"Well, I was just thinking. Rather than raiding your fridge again... I dunno. I could suck you off?"

                                            >Stare at her

                                            >"Oh, oops. I mean suck off you. As in, drain your blood. So I can feed without stuffing my face with pie."

                                            >She rubs her flanks and holds a hoof up to the side of her mouth before whispering

                                            >"I think I might be getting fat!"

                                            "Shade, do you even know what you just asked me?"

                                            >Shade smirks and feigns ignorance

                                            >"Oh, whatever is the matter, Anon? I merely asked if you wanted me to not starve!"

                                            "No no no no, I'm being serious. Suck my blood, are you kidding me?"

                                            >She pouts and bats her eyelids

                                            >"Mister Anon not want me to suck him off?"

                                            "STOP SAYING THAT!"

                                            >Shade chortles.

                                            >"Aaaaanooon. You know I'm only joking!"

                                            >She reaches forward and pats your arm in mock affection

                                            >"Now be a dear and go back to sleep."

                                            >She smiles

                                            >"I'll watch over you and make sure no nasty ponies try and get a piece of that lovely neck of yours--"

                                            "NOPE."

                                            >Jump out of bed and run into your bathroom, slamming the door and locking it

                                            >Hear Shade's laughter intensify

                                            >"Come on, Anon! I was only fooling around!... I won't drink much!"

                                            "STOP SAYING WORDS, YOU UNHOLY BEAST!"

                                            >More laughter

                                            >"H-hey Anon! I'm rooting through your drawers!"

                                            "STOP ROOTING THROUGH MY DRAWERS!"

                                            >"You'd better get out here and stop me!"

                                            >You reach for the lock

                                            >Then stop yourself

                                            >It's what she wants you to do

                                            >Clearly, she had been planning this for a long time

                                            >She must have chosen you out to feed on you when the time was right

                                            >Sure, you'd been living together for six months, and any other time would have been perfect to strike, but still!

                                            >No sir, the bathtub is your bed for tonight. The demon behind that door can moan all she wants


                                            >You are Shade

                                            >Bored out of your mind

                                            >Anon has been in there for like, thirty minutes.

                                            "You asleep yet?"

                                            >"GO TO HELL!"

                                            >Snicker

                                            "This is getting dull, Anon. Get out here. I wanna sleep."

                                            >"Then do it."

                                            "I can't. I kinda need you nearby."

                                            >"Why, so you can feast on me some more?"

                                            "N-no."

                                            >You didn't really intend to drink his blood.

                                            >Anon was just nice to have around

                                            >He looked cute when he slept

                                            >But you'd never tell him that.

                                            >Stupid human

                                            "What do I have to say to make you come out of there?"

                                            >"Nothing! I'll stay in here all night! The bathtub is far more comfortable that you give it credit!"

                                            >...

                                            "The taps are digging into your back, aren't they, Anon?"

                                            >"...They really hurt..."

                                            >Sigh

                                            >He was pretty dim at times

                                            "Look, I promise not to drink your blood. Okay?"

                                            >"Pinkie Pie swear?"

                                            >The hell is a Pinkie Pie swear.

                                            "Uhh, yes?"

                                            >A moment of silence passes

                                            >The lock is pulled back and a scared looking Anon peers out at you

                                            >Makes a nice change from the normal Anon that strides around and chides you for stealing candy from foals while their mothers aren't looking

                                            >It's like you always say: 'All's fair in love and candy'

                                            >You've never actually said that

                                            >Beckon to Anon and pat the bed you're led on

                                            >Anon cautiously gets out of the bathroom and edges towards the bed

                                            >You bounce your eyebrows at him and lick your lips

                                            >He freezes, a look of panic on his face

                                            >Giggle

                                            "Kidding."

                                            >He scowls

                                            >"It's not funny"

                                            "Actually, it's hilarious. Now come to bed, darling"

                                            >He stomps over and gets under the covers

                                            >Climb up to the ceiling and hang upside down again, preparing to get some rest of your own

                                            >Anon makes himself comfortable and closes his eyes

                                            >After watching his relaxed features for a moment, you smile warmly and shut your lids


                                            >"Shade?"

                                            "Yeah?

                                            >"Don't ever call me that again."


                                            The End.