[REQUEST] Raritan - AnonyPig


                                            Originally uploaded to Pastebin: November 13th, 2013

                                            ---


                                            Raritan: Nebulus

                                            Raritan: A request

                                            Raritan: Anon is turned into a guinea pig

                                            Nebulus: ...

                                            Nebulus: >w>

                                            Raritan: Panky poe is the only one who knows what happened

                                            Raritan: Fluttershy keeps trying to kidnap his cute furry ass

                                            Raritan: Oh and it was Twi who turned him

                                            Raritan: So he has to find another unicorn to change him back

                                            Raritan: >needs to go to Zecoras to get a cure potion


                                            NIGGA I AIN'T GOT TIME TO WRITE ALL THA--

                                            >Said over 6 months ago

                                            ...I might have time for some of that.


                                            ---


                                            >"Alright, Anon. I'm not going to lie. This is extremely dangerous and could seriously injure you."

                                            >Twilight sets the food in front of you.

                                            >Sniff at it, the smell making your nose wrinkle.

                                            "Do you uhh, do you cook very often Twilight?"

                                            >"Not really. I normally get Spike to do it."

                                            "Where is he, anyway?"

                                            >"He stopped the night at Rarity's, something about 'getting his dragon on'."

                                            >You look away from Twilight and back at the charred, gooey mess on your plate.

                                            "When you made this... Did the thought ever cross your mind that it might not be edible?"

                                            >Twilight glances at the ruination of ingredients on your plate then grins at you.

                                            >"Sure it did! I just didn't know if this food was compatible with human digestion!"

                                            "And what exactly is it?"

                                            >"A salad!"

                                            >Once more, you survey the plate.

                                            >Green goo seeps from a blackened husk of what was once apparently "A salad".

                                            "The hell's with the green shit?"

                                            >"That was a by product."

                                            >...

                                            "A by product of wh--"

                                            >You're interrupted by a knocking on the door.

                                            >Twilight hurries away from the table and over to the door while you push the plate further away from you.

                                            >Spike must never leave again.

                                            >Voices can be heard from the door, and you poke your head around from the kitchen to see who it is.

                                            >Oh christ.

                                            >"H-hello there, Anon! Are you feeling okay?!"

                                            >Offer a nervous wave.

                                            "Hi, Fluttershy."

                                            >Great. Here's to another day of hell. You wonder what she's got planned for you. Perhaps a clown costume, or some other fetish that's been repackaged a thousand times and sold off as something different in a desperate attempt to convince you that it's different when you know that at it's core it's the exact same shit over and over aga--

                                            >"She's gone."

                                            "Whu-huh?"

                                            >"Fluttershy. She's gone. Just dropped by to return a book. You can stop with the inner monologue."

                                            "I wasn't monologuing..."

                                            >Twilight takes your plate away from you, cringing as she gets a whiff of it.

                                            >"Your expression goes vacant and your eyes wander whenever you're in deep thought. Did you enjoy the meal?"

                                            >Give her a flat look.

                                            >She grins back and slides the food into a bin.

                                            >You hear a slight hiss and notice some peculiar looking gases rising from where it settled.

                                            "So. What's the plan for today then?"

                                            >Twilight opens a food cupboard and pulls out a tome.

                                            >She beams at you and places it on the kitchen table, opening it to a book marked page.

                                            >"Transbiological mutating!"

                                            "Whu?"

                                            >"More informally known as 'Polymorphing'"

                                            >The mare giggles.

                                            >"Though that's technically incorrect, despite how widely used the term is."

                                            "And you plan to mutate something biological?"

                                            >"Oh come on, Anon. Don't they have transbiological mutation where you're from?"

                                            "Well there are some porn sites that--"

                                            >"I'm going to turn you into a different animal, Anonymous."

                                            "--They can get pretty freaky-- wait, what?"

                                            >Twilight spins the book so you can see what she's referring to.

                                            >Jotted on the page is an array of diagrams depicting ponies being shaped into bears, cats, dogs, and even lesser drakes.

                                            >"Doesn't it sound like fun? What animal would you like to be, Anon?"

                                            "Aww man, I've always wanted to be a dragon!"

                                            >You tap your finger on the crude dragon drawing for emphasis.

                                            >Twilight clops her hooves gleefully and squeals.

                                            >"I knew you'd be up for it! I'll go and get ready, you just wait here and uhh. Practice your dragon behaviour!"

                                            >She turns to leave.

                                            "Oh uh, Twilight? One question."

                                            >"Yes?"

                                            "Why were you keeping that in a kitchen cupboard?"

                                            >"Pffft. What else am I going to keep there?"

                                            "Food?"

                                            >"That's Spike's problem, not mine."

                                            >You roll your eyes as the unicorn prances out the room with a spring to her step.


                                            >"Okay, ready?"

                                            "Ready."

                                            >Twilight, having cleared the main floor in the library and drawn a large circle around you in red paint, sticks her tongue out the corner of her mouth and prepares her spell.

                                            >You rub your hands together and take a deep breath.

                                            >Twilight's horn begins to glow, her eyes darting back to her book every so often to make sure she's doing everything right.

                                            >After a short moment, a neon pink beam surges from her horn and hits you in the chest.

                                            >The force knocks you back a bit, but you manage to retain your balance and stay within the circle.

                                            >You grit your teeth and squint as everything you see starts turning an intense shade of pink.

                                            >"Almost... There... Anon!"

                                            >A loud ringing assaults your ears as Twilight reaches the apex of her spell.

                                            >The beam is severed, and Twilight slumps to the floor as your entire world goes from pink, to a blinding white, to black.


                                            >"Anon? Anon where are you? Oh no no no no... ANON!"

                                            >You groan and rise shakily to your feet.

                                            >Everything is black. And warm.

                                            >Waiting for your eyes to adjust to the dark, you feel around.

                                            >The ground is soft, and gentle to the touch.

                                            >Now that your eyes have adjusted, the walls seem to be made of

                                            "Fabric?"

                                            >"What was that? Anon was that you?... Uh oh."

                                            >Uh oh?

                                            >You don't like the sound of that at all.

                                            >Before you can call out to her, light floods in as the walls are removed.

                                            >Twilight towers over you, and stares down, a nervous look in her eyes.

                                            >"A-anon? Is that you?"

                                            "Of course it's me. Did you shrink me?"

                                            >"...What?"

                                            "I said did you shrink me."

                                            >"This is worse than I thought. If that's you, Anon, raise your paw."

                                            >Paw.

                                            >You look down at your feet.

                                            >...Paws.

                                            >You look down at--

                                            "HOLY SHIT I'M A FUCKING GUINEA PIG."

                                            >You try to scamper towards the stairs that leads to a room with a mirror.

                                            >However, your stubby little feet get caught on what you now see is your clothes.

                                            >Tumbling over and rolling a short distance, you pick yourself up and continue to move as fast as you can.

                                            >A soft giggle is heard to your side.

                                            >"You know, you're kinda cute like that, Anon."

                                            "SHUT UP."

                                            >More laughter.

                                            >"You're making such cute noises! Aww, I have to show Fluttershy!"

                                            >Wait what.

                                            >No.

                                            >NO.

                                            "NO!"

                                            >"Yes? I know, right! Don't worry, I won't tell her it's you. But she'll think you're so cute! Be right back!"

                                            "TWILIGHT YOU WHORE GET BACK HERE!"

                                            >She's already gone.

                                            >Panic sets in.

                                            >Your little heart is pounding in your adorable floppy ears and you find yourself shifting your cute little toes uneasily.

                                            >Curse your sudden appeal.

                                            >Committed to find out at least what you look like, you turn back to the stairs.

                                            >Which are... Huge.

                                            >Gulping, you continue onwards in trepidation.

                                            >Stepping into the shadow of the now gargantuan steps fills you with a sense of dread.

                                            >Is this how little animals see the world?

                                            >Shit, everything is massive.

                                            >Perspective is a little bit scary.

                                            >With great effort, you manage to jump up onto the first step.

                                            "Pssh. That wasn't so bad. I'm practically half way there already!"

                                            >You gaze at the rest of the stairs.

                                            >There's like, 15 more to go.

                                            "Fuck."


                                            "EEEEEEEECH."

                                            >You pull yourself onto the final step, using all the energy in your tiny, furry, snuggable body.

                                            >Already you can feel the fluff overtaking you.

                                            >It is a good pain.

                                            >Take a moment to lie on your side and pant, desperately trying to get air into your lungs.

                                            >Normally you could stride up those in about 4 steps.

                                            >But Guinea-Anon takes life the hard way, like a man.

                                            >Pig.

                                            >Man or pig?

                                            >Is there really a difference?

                                            >Oof.

                                            >Too deep for your guinea pig mind to handle.

                                            >Picking yourself up, you run as quickly as your legs will carry you towards the large mirror Twilight uses to check herself out and make lewd gestures at when she thinks you're not looking.

                                            >Lack of a sex life makes that pony extremely awkward to be around at times.

                                            >You shudder at the memories.

                                            >'Anonymous! My vagina itches! You have to apply this cream all over and inside it with your penis!'

                                            >Pushing the ensuing thoughts from your mind, you cautiously move yourself in front of the mirror.

                                            >Short white fur covers your entire body, touching the floor on both sides of you.

                                            >However, your face has brown patches all over it, adding a sweet contrast.

                                            >You're a damn good looking guinea pig.

                                            >Is that something you can say un-ironically in any situation ever?

                                            >Life is weird.

                                            >As you admire yourself in the mirror, the door to the library swings open.

                                            >"Oh yes, he's in here. At least I think it's a he. I just uhh, sort of found him! Or her."

                                            >"W-why are Anon's clothes in the middle of the floor?"

                                            >"Uuhh..."

                                            >Shit.

                                            >You gotta get out of here before Fluttershy finds you.

                                            >She'll adopt you and take good care of you for the rest of your life, making sure that you get love, attention and food every day!

                                            >You don't want that! You wanna get drunk and hit on Rainbow Dash!

                                            >"Here mister guinea pig! My name is Fluttershy! You can trust me!"

                                            >For some reason, her voice is strangely compelling.

                                            >Soothing, almost. A voice you really -can- trust.

                                            >You shake your head, and looking down, you find that you had begun moving towards the stairs.

                                            >Is that the effect Fluttershy has on every animal?

                                            >Christ. You don't stand a chance.

                                            >"I-Is he still here? Most animals would have come out by now..."

                                            >You hear Twilight let out a short laugh.

                                            >"I doubt it. Heeeeere mister guinea pig!"

                                            >The pair start calling out for you, as if it would work.

                                            >Thinking time. How do you get out of the library?

                                            >They have the front door covered.

                                            >You're in a high place.

                                            >The only other exit is the window.

                                            >And you're not sure if guinea pigs can land on all feet unharmed.

                                            >"I'll check upstairs, Twilight, he might be scared... Oh the poor thing!"

                                            >Oh the poor thing indeed, you need to make like a pig and get the fuck out of here.

                                            >You glance towards the bathroom where Twilight does her morning ritual, and see that the door is open a crack.

                                            >Bolt towards it, through the crack, and hide a dark corner.

                                            >"Found him, Fluttershy?"

                                            >Listening intently over the sound of your own heartbeat, Fluttershy calls back.

                                            >"I've checked under the beds, I can't see him. I'll check the bathroom!"

                                            >Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

                                            >You press yourself into the corner as hard as you can, even standing on your hind legs and pressing your back into the wall.

                                            >Kinda hurts to stand like this.

                                            >The door is nudged open all the way and a large yellow hoof is gently placed just inches away from your body.

                                            >The light is switched on and Fluttershy starts looking in the bathtub.

                                            >Yeah right, like you could make it inside there.

                                            >Wait, her back legs are wide open!

                                            >Taking your chances, you scurry between them and into Twilight's room again.

                                            >You waste no time in running for the stairs.

                                            >"Anything yet?"

                                            >"No. I thought he might be in here, but he's not... Where could he be?"

                                            >Away from you, that's for sure.

                                            >Too distracted by your thoughts, you miss the top step.

                                            >Your heart leaps as the floor disappears from beneath you and you tumble down the stairs.

                                            >Each step you hit on the way down is punctuated by a squeak.

                                            >Reach the bottom step and groan, your entire body shaking.

                                            >Struggling to get to your feet, you stretch your body.

                                            >Doesn't appear to be anything broken.

                                            >Everything hurts, though.

                                            >"Is he down there, Twilight?"

                                            >"No! I'm in the kitchen and can't find him."

                                            >At that, your head snaps towards the door.

                                            >Which is wide open.

                                            >Freedom!

                                            >Taking off like a pig out of hell you hurtle towards the open doorway.

                                            >Just as you cross the threshold, you hear a gasp from inside the library.

                                            >"T-TWILIGHT! I just saw him! He just ran out the door!"

                                            >AWW HELL.

                                            >Your little stubby legs are a blur as they carry you over large pebbles and grass tufts through Ponyville.

                                            >Gotta find help. Shelter. Anything!

                                            >"Which way did he go, Fluttershy?!"

                                            >"I don't know! M-maybe we should split up?"

                                            >"Good idea! Come find me when you get him!"

                                            >Who knew guinea pig life was so hard?

                                            >Despite the dire situation at hand, you begin to wonder if there are any female guinea pigs at Fluttershy's cottage.

                                            >God dammit, brain, now isn't the time to succumb to your primitive ways.

                                            >Even if a wet carrot sounds -really- good right now.

                                            >Darting over the difficult (flat) terrain and through the harsh (mild) sunlight, you make your way towards the only place that seems to make any sense any more.

                                            >Sugarcube Corner.

                                            >It's warm, has food, and has Pinkie Pie.

                                            >Pinkie will know what to do.

                                            >Even if you can't speak English any more and are a guinea pig.

                                            >But you're not exactly brimming with options at the moment, so it's your best bet.

                                            >Truthfully, it's the closest place to the library. And you just can't be bothered scampering all the way across town to somewhere safer.

                                            >God damn, guinea pigs are lazy.

                                            >The shop comes into view, and you keep an ear out for any telltale gasps that would indicate Fluttershy finding you.

                                            >You grin to yourself as the shop draws ever closer and--

                                            >Now you're airborne.

                                            >WHAT?!

                                            >You struggle against the yellow treetrunks holding you against a yellow chest.

                                            >She didn't gasp!

                                            >What are the chances?!

                                            >"Oooh I knew I'd find you, mister guinea pig!"

                                            >Fluttershy sets you down in a field not far from Sugarcube Corner.

                                            >If you can just break free... You might be able to make it there before she catches you again.

                                            >"Oh my goodness! You really -are- cute! Twilight was right!"

                                            "LET GO OF ME, YOU HARLOT! I WILL ANNIHILATE YOU!"

                                            >"Aww, you're just grumpy because you're hungry! Well there'll be plenty of time for that later, you little cutie pie!"

                                            "WHEEEEEEK!"

                                            >Woah. That's new.

                                            >"Shushushush. No need for that, mister."

                                            >Fluttershy sits on her haunches and cradles you in her forehooves.

                                            >"I'm going to put you inside my vagina!"


                                            >...


                                            "I..."

                                            >Fluttershy beams down at you.

                                            >Your mind can't even.

                                            >It can't. Even.

                                            "What?"

                                            >"You heard right, mister! A cutey like you deserves some of momma's special love. And you seem to be just the right size, too!"

                                            "WHAT?"

                                            >"Ooh it's been ever so long since I've gotten any..."

                                            >She frowns.

                                            >"I've been trying to get this hunk of a human to rut me, but he just doesn't want to... So I'll have to make do with you instead!"

                                            "WHAT?!"

                                            >"Don't worry! It'll only take a second for me to cum. Just wriggle around once you're in there and I'll take you back out. You'll be right as rain and I'll be feeling satisfied again!"

                                            "WWWWHAT?!"

                                            >"And who knows... If you're good enough, I might make you into mommas emergency relief."

                                            >Fluttershy giggles.

                                            >"Would you like to get started?"

                                            "NOPE."

                                            >You forcefully slam your face into her leg and bite as hard as you can.

                                            >The mare screams and drops you onto the grass, and you immediately take off across the field towards Sugarcube Corner.

                                            >Fluttershy's wails follow you, and you know what comes after.

                                            >When Fluttershy doesn't get her way with animals, she--

                                            >"GET BACK HER RIGHT NOW, MISTER! GET INSIDE MY VAGINA!"

                                            >HOW IS THIS YOUR LIFE.

                                            >The trip to Sugarcube Corner is as uneventful as a hectic getaway from an overly horny flying horse chasing a small white guinea pig can be.

                                            >The back step to the shop poses the last obstacle and you use your incredible finesse to scramble onto it and through the back door as quickly as you can.

                                            >Inside, Pinkie Pie is humming to herself and rolling out some dough.

                                            >"And you, lil' dough ball, can be a cookie! It's okay if you're too small. I'll love you all the same. Some might call you a mistake but I don't believe in mistakes, only happy little--"

                                            "PINKIE HOLY SHIT HELP ME."

                                            >You recoil as you realise just how big she is.

                                            >But the matter at hand has made you desperate, and you make as many intelligent gestures and noises as your tiny, furry body will biologically allow.

                                            >"Woah! A talking guinea pig! Hello little guy!"

                                            "PINKIE HELP ME!"

                                            >"Sure thing!"

                                            "OH THANK G-- Wait, can you understand me?"

                                            >"Of course I can, silly!"

                                            "...How?"

                                            >"I speak guinea pig! I learnt it in a night class!"

                                            >She grins at you.

                                            "That doesn't even- look. Fluttershy is chasing me and she wants to put me inside her vagina."

                                            >"OooooOOoo! That sounds like a doozy! Don't you worry, Anonnypoo. Pinkie will help ya!"

                                            "You are the most amazing mare ever."

                                            >"I already know that, Nonny!"

                                            >She scoops you up and places you on her back, where you bury yourself inside her mane.

                                            >Hang on.

                                            "How did you know it was me? Anon?"

                                            >"Silly, only Anonymous would say:"

                                            >She clears her throat and puts on a surprisingly good impersonation of you.

                                            >"Grrr, holy shit Pinkie help me! Grrr!"

                                            "Was the 'grr' really necessary?"

                                            >"Yep!"

                                            "Please get me back to Twilight..."

                                            >"Okie dokie lokie!"

                                            >Pinkie Pie bounces out of the kitchen and into the main cafe area.

                                            >Mister Cake stops her.

                                            >"Pinkie! Are those cookies ready?! We're running low on stock fast! The customers are getting impatient!"

                                            >Pinkie Pie, not breaking a sweat or a beat, replies in her usual cheery manner:

                                            >"Sorry, Mister Cake, but my alien friend Anon got turned into a guinea pig by Twilight and Fluttershy tried to put him in her vagina which is totally weird and not fun at all unless you're into that are you into that Anon?"

                                            >You shake your head, surprising Mister Cake who only just seemed to notice you.

                                            >"See that he isn't into that! And so I said that I'd take him back to Twilight so he can be human again and too big to fit inside Fluttershy's vagina but then again I'm not so sure because I was room mates with Fluttershy for a while after my room got burnt down after that new years eve party I had and I watched her insert like seventeen fullsized stallion dildos inside herself when she thought I was sleeping and I couldn't help myself and totally started rubbing my Pinkie Pie to the sight of it--"

                                            >"Pinkie Pie, please go."

                                            >"Okay!"

                                            >She leaps over the counter and out the front door, humming to herself the entire time.

                                            >The trip back to the library is turbulent. Mostly because Pinkie won't stop bouncing.

                                            >You try to get her to stop, but she claims that she can't understand you because she can't speak guinea pig.

                                            >Ffffff--

                                            >"Oh hey! There's Twilight! TWILIGHT! I HAVE YOUR GUINEA HUMAN!"

                                            >You wince at Pinkie's screaming.

                                            >Twilight trots over, a sheepish grin on her face.

                                            >She peers at you, glaring at her from your safety blanket that is Pinkie's mane.

                                            >"Hello, umm, Anon! Had a uhh, nice day?"

                                            "Tell her I hate her."

                                            >"He says 'Wheeeeeek'!"

                                            >Twilight nods slowly.

                                            >"Uh huh... Sooo, ready to be a human again?"

                                            >You stand in the circle you were stood in before, your clothes to one side.

                                            >Twilight studies her book one last time and motions for Pinkie to step back.

                                            >"Ready, Anon!"

                                            "Yes."

                                            >"He says he hates you!"

                                            >FUCKING P--

                                            >A beam of neon pink slams into you again, and you dig your claws into the floor as best you can.

                                            >Once more your vision goes pink, then white, then black.

                                            >Just before you black out again, however, you hear a muffled 'Noooo!' from behind you.


                                            >"So then I said that I watched Fluttershy stick seventeen dildos in herself but I don't think he b-- Oh hey! Anon's awake!"

                                            >You rub your head, the familiar feeling of your hand on your face bringing a smile out of you.

                                            >Not waiting for another word, you pull Pinkie into a hug.

                                            >She sighs happily and returns it in kind.

                                            "Thanks for the help, Pinks.

                                            >"No problem, captain Anon! I have to go back to the bakery now. I hope I didn't get fired again!"

                                            >With that, she bounces out the door.

                                            >Past...

                                            "Oh."

                                            >Fluttershy is staring at you.

                                            >"Y-you were the... Guinea pig..."

                                            "...Yeah."

                                            >The two of you stare awkwardly at each other.

                                            >"So... Umm..."

                                            "Don't say it."

                                            >...

                                            >"Was it your fet--"

                                            >You punch her as hard as you can in the face.


                                            The End.