[REQUEST] Noogai13 - Nightmare Moon's Midnight Extravaganza


                                            Originally uploaded to Pastebin: March 31st, 2014

                                            ---


                                            A request from Noogai.


                                            [17/03/2014 17:53:38] Nebulus: Heh...

                                            [17/03/2014 17:53:44] Nebulus: Would you like me to write a story for you, Noogie?

                                            [17/03/2014 17:53:53] Nebulus: Go on. Pick a pony and a scenario.

                                            [17/03/2014 17:54:07] Noogai13: Luna

                                            [17/03/2014 17:54:07] Noogai13: Amuse me


                                            Look at him; bossing me around.

                                            What a prick.

                                            I love the guy, really.


                                            ---


                                            This story has now been voice-acted!

                                            Wuten and his gang of merry men decided that out of all the quality works of fiction that exist, THIS story--


                                            THIS. STORY.


                                            Is worth the effort of a full voice-cast and special effects and all that good stuff.

                                            I'll never understand why, considering I recall spending about 40 minutes writing this and didn't even proof-read it. It was a birthday gift for a Slovenian guy I'd only just met, it's not Shakespeare.


                                            Still, the effort put into the voice acting was extraordinary and I was genuinely touched that Wuten chose my story to be acted out.

                                            You can find the narration here:


                                            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vT793Svq_eE


                                            Be sure to subscribe to Wuten for more horse-fiction voice-action.


                                            ---

                                            >Wake up in the middle of the night.

                                            >Sniff.

                                            >What smells like burning?

                                            >Walk downstairs as you pull on your dressing gown.

                                            >When you enter your rather small kitchen you see a large blue figure stood at your stove.

                                            >"...ly me to the moon~..."

                                            "What."

                                            >Princess Luna turns around and grins at you.

                                            >"Ah! Good evening, Anonymous!"

                                            "What."

                                            >"I have procured and created some pasta!"

                                            "What."

                                            >"Would you care to sample some? I think I have done a marvellous job with it!"

                                            >She points a hoof at the pot of black horror on your stove.

                                            >Wisps of black smoke rise from it.

                                            >Looking to the left, you see an empty box of matches on the counter.

                                            >Half of them are broken and strewn out all over the surface.

                                            >"The colour indicates flavour!"

                                            >A large glob of what you assume is the blood of an ancient and hateful god is levitated out of the pot and into Luna's mouth.

                                            >She makes a great effort to chew on it.

                                            >Still smiling, the pony swallows it all.

                                            >Then has a short, but violent spasm.

                                            >Once she settles, she gives you an innocent little giggle.

                                            >"Delicious, care to have some?"

                                            >She dips a spoon into the pot and scoops out some 'pasta'.

                                            >The spoon is evidently melting in places.

                                            >Luna takes a step forward.

                                            >You take 3 back.

                                            "Now listen here, horse. You keep that shit as far away from me as possible."

                                            >Luna pouts.

                                            >"But I have been studying the traditional art of romantic cookery! I have mastered everything there is to know about love and food!"

                                            >Your eyes dart between the unholy mixture on the spoon and Luna's hopeful face.

                                            "What -kind- of food?"

                                            >"Romantic food! Now eat up, Anonymous!"

                                            >She pushes the spoon forward.

                                            >Your nostrils are filled with the stench of 10 dead animals.

                                            "N-no, Luna; please go."

                                            >"No, I shall not! I have worked hard on this and I shall not leave until you eat it!"

                                            "Luna, I don't think you get it. If I eat that I will actually -die-."

                                            >She sighs.

                                            >"Do you truly mean that?"

                                            "Yes."

                                            >The princess hits you with the most watery eyes she can muster.

                                            >"D-do you really mean it?"

                                            "Don't stutter. It doesn't suit you. ...Also yes, I'm serious."

                                            >Luna lets out a frustrated sigh and tosses the spoon into the pan again.

                                            >"Then what are we supposed to do for our four day anniversary?"

                                            "Four day anniversary what."

                                            >"We have been an item for four days! It is surely a sign of wonderful times to come!"

                                            >Your mind goes into automatic damage control.

                                            >So much so that a tiny version of you with a squeaky voice shows up on your shoulder.

                                            >"Hey man, Regret here."

                                            "Oh, hey Regret. Long time no see."

                                            >Luna looks at you, puzzled.

                                            >"Listen, man; remember that party you went to four days back?"

                                            "What, at the castle?"

                                            >"Yeah, that one. Remember hooking up with anyone?"

                                            >Stroke your chin thoughtfully.

                                            >Luna opens her mouth to say something, but shuts it again.

                                            "Oh god."

                                            >"You stuck your dick in crazy, son."

                                            "Well shit, what am I supposed to do now?"

                                            >"I dunno. Just don't bring up sex. The food is bad enough so I'd hate to see what would happen if you gave her the idea to have celebratory sex."

                                            "Hah, yeah, sex with her would be nuts."

                                            >...

                                            >"You said that out loud you fucking idiot."

                                            >Glance back at Luna.

                                            >Her smile is terrifying.

                                            >"Sexual intercourse! It was so obvious!"

                                            >Regret-Anon puts on a Great War helmet and salutes you.

                                            >"It was an honour, boss."

                                            >He disappears in a puff of bad past decisions and leaves you alone against the already approaching mare.

                                            "Now listen, Luna, what happened a few days ago; I was drunk, you were drunk--"

                                            >"I was completely sober!"

                                            "...I was drunk, you were sober, it was all a big mistake, right?"

                                            >Luna presses you against a wall and rears up on her hind legs, coming up to eye level with you and placing a hoof on either side of your body to support herself as she glares right into your eyes.

                                            >"It was the single most intimate night of my life."

                                            "...Right, see, that's not good. You need to start dating-- ohgodwhatareyoudoing--"

                                            >Luna is nibbling on your neck, her tongue probing your skin and leaving a trail of saliva.

                                            >"You and I never did finish that night, Anonymous~"

                                            >How the hell could this get any worse.

                                            >"In fact, I was hoping that that night would last forever... So I just thought: Why not?"

                                            "What."

                                            >"Our lovemaking will be legendary, Anonymous. And it will never end so long as the moon stays in the sky."

                                            >Her body starts glowing, and you can't move because of how hot her she suddenly is.

                                            >She's also very temperate.

                                            >Ho boy.

                                            >Stare in horror as her form grows slightly, shifting colours and altering itself.

                                            >Once the light fades, you peer into the eyes of a changed mare.

                                            >Lizard-eyes gaze back at you.

                                            >A mouth full of fangs grins.

                                            >Your body is pressed up against a coat as black as the void it represents.

                                            >Luna leans closer and whispers into your ear.

                                            >"This night shall last forever~"

                                            >She bares her fangs again.

                                            >Imagine them around your di--

                                            "FUUUCK THAT."

                                            >Shove her off you and sprint towards the front door.

                                            >Rip open the lock and run outside, arms pumping at your sides, willing yourself to go faster.

                                            >A dark blue cloud effortlessly hovers alongside you.

                                            >"Where are you going, lover?"

                                            >Turn a sudden corner and attempt to lose her in the park.

                                            >She remains by your side.

                                            >"There's nowhere to go."

                                            >A glance to the side shows the cloud sporting eyes with mischievous intent and a set of horribly sharp fangs.

                                            >She gnashes them together then winks playfully.

                                            >Try not to whimper as you think of a plan.

                                            >Point off to the side.

                                            "It's Celestia! She's come to stop you!"

                                            >"What?!"

                                            >Veer off from the path and sprint over the grass, getting further away from Ponyville with each second.

                                            >Look over your shoulder.

                                            "Pffft. I can't believe that even worked."

                                            >"What worked, lover?"

                                            "LEAVE ME ALONE, LUNA."

                                            >"There is no Luna! Only Nightmare Moon. And Nightmare wants her Moon to be filled with your... Space... Seed?"

                                            >Grind to a halt.

                                            >Put your hands on your hips and give the floating cloud a disapproving look.

                                            "Really?"

                                            >"Uhh... Just a second, I'm out of practice for evil puns."

                                            >A few seconds tick by.

                                            >"I want you to... Cum inside... Me? Evilly?"

                                            >Sigh and shake your head.

                                            "It's good enough, I suppose."

                                            >Before you can set off running again, Nightmare Moon reverts back to her pony form.

                                            >"Enough running, it is time for your pun-ishment!"

                                            "OOoooh... That was terrible..."

                                            >You don't even fight as the mare pushes you to the ground and gets on top of you.

                                            >"Do you worship my moon, Anonymous?"

                                            >She starts grinding herself on you, her dampness already soaking through your boxers.

                                            >"Will you grant me my perfect night?"

                                            "Even if I do you won't leave me alone."

                                            >"You're right; I won't."

                                            "Please get off me."

                                            >"No."

                                            "What if I asked nicely?"

                                            >"You just did. I'm going to get my prize from you, Anonymous. You had the audacity to only make me cum five times when we slept together!"

                                            "The fuck? And that wasn't good enough?"

                                            >The pony smushes your cheeks together with her front hooves and presses her nose against yours, her eyes boring into yours.

                                            >"You left me moaning on my bed covered in your seed and breathless. Do you have any idea how hard it is for a princess to find a sexual partner as good as you?"

                                            "...V-very?"

                                            >She smushes your face harder and narrows her eyes.

                                            >"Very."

                                            >The pressure is released from your cheeks and she raises her head.

                                            >"Now. Here is how this is going to happen."

                                            >Her horn lights up.

                                            >A scroll is conjured.

                                            >As well as a... Pony?

                                            >"Anonymous, this is Yates; my personal assistant."

                                            >The pony, sporting a grand moustache and spectacles, nods.

                                            >"Good evening, sir."

                                            >"Mmmyes. He shall be watching us fornicate and shall document the entire experience."

                                            >"Very good, princess."

                                            >Nightmare Moon clears her throat.

                                            >"Now, the sex shall begin with a thorough rutting, followed by a four minute cuddle where we shall enjoy each others warmth and talk about our feelings for each other."

                                            >Yates fervently gets all this down.

                                            "Great; you've turned into Twilight."

                                            >"Shush. Next we shall attempt the venerated 'anal sex' that so many ponies are dreaming about nowadays. I trust you are up to the task, Anonymous?"

                                            >She doesn't wait for an answer.

                                            >"No matter. Not like you have a choice."

                                            >"If I may, your majesty, I like your new choice of look."

                                            >"Thank you, Yates. Next-- Anonymous are you listening?"

                                            "I stopped caring when you entered my life."

                                            >Nightmare Moon bares her fangs at you.

                                            >"Well then, I suppose a bout of oral sex is in order after the anal sex. Anonymous shall hereby lick whatever mess he leaves inside my rectum with his tongue as punishment for his attitude."

                                            "Why do you hate me?"

                                            >"Once the oral sex is complete, I shall suckle upon Anonymous' member with my very own mouth!"

                                            >"Very good, your highness."

                                            "Not with those fangs you're not, darling."

                                            >"Anonymous you don't have a choice; stop complaining."

                                            "What if I screamed really loud?"

                                            >"If I may, sir, her highness enjoys a good struggle."

                                            "You're not helping, Yates."

                                            >"Apologies, sir."

                                            >"Enough, both of you! After all these acts are completed, we shall do them all again! Perhaps in random order."

                                            "I literally don't have enough stamina to do all of that."

                                            >"Should you fail to please me, I shall kill you."

                                            "...WHY."

                                            >"Because... Ahhuhh... Yates?"

                                            >"Because fear of death is a wonderful motivator, your highness."

                                            >"Fantastic! Yes, I shall threaten to kill you."

                                            "...But you won't actually do it."

                                            >"Well no, how can we have sexual congress if you're dead?"

                                            "I dunno, I thought you'd be into that kind of thing."

                                            >Nightmare Moon stares at you.

                                            >Then looks at Yates.

                                            >He raises an eyebrow at her and motions to his quill.

                                            >"Yates! Once the oral sex is complete we shall kill Anonymous and fornicate with his corpse!"

                                            "Fucks SAKE!"

                                            >"Shush."

                                            "Don't shush me!"

                                            >"Shhhush."

                                            "You're the worst princess ever."

                                            >"Actually, sir, recent polls have shown that Princess Twilight Sparkle is technically the worst princess."

                                            >You nod in agreement.

                                            "Yeah, she's pretty terrible."

                                            >Nightmare Moon does as well.

                                            >"Awful pony, that Sparkle."

                                            "Can you please get off me now?"

                                            >"No! Anonymous, I'm going to rape you. And it will be beautiful."

                                            "But why though? This is literally the most stupid thing you've ever done. You even dressed up in some kind of spooky costume to do it in. I feel like I'm being raped by a clown."

                                            >Nightmare sputters in shock.

                                            >"B-but I-- I am Nightmare Moon! This is the form that inspired fear into the hearts of foals all across Equestria for centuries!"

                                            "So yeah, like a clown."

                                            >She fumes at you.

                                            >"If you are unwilling to cooperate, I shall kill you!"

                                            "Weren't you going to do that anywa--"

                                            >"SILENCE! Yates, what was the last thing I was going to do?"

                                            >"Ahh... Just a second... Here-- Kill him and have sexual relations with the body, your highness."

                                            >"DOUBLE IT!"

                                            "What."

                                            >"I want him dead TWICE! Then I shall sex up the corpse twice!"

                                            "This whole thing has taken a really weird turn, man."

                                            >"SHUT UP, ANONYMOUS."

                                            "Hey, you're the one that wants to fuck a dead body. I call 'em how I see 'em. That shit's weird."

                                            >Nightmare Moon gives you a glare so fierce you almost feel fear.

                                            >"I will hurt you in ways you cannot even imagine, Anonymous. I swear on my sister's life."

                                            "More power to you then, I always hated Celestia."

                                            >"As do I!"

                                            "She just waltzes about, bossing everyone around."

                                            >"I-Indeed!"

                                            "'Oh look at me! My wings are so pretty!'"

                                            >...

                                            >Nightmare Moon gigglesnorts.

                                            >Yates lets out a quiet "dohoho".

                                            >The mare on top of you taps her front hooves together then quietly says:

                                            >"I personally never liked Princess Cadence."

                                            "Oh my god, I know, right? What the fuck -is- that pony? Princess of love, are you fucking kidding me?"

                                            >Nightmare Moon laughs.

                                            >She's silent for a while, then looks at Yates.

                                            >"Yates, who do you hate?"

                                            >"Shining Armour, your highness. He constantly looks as though he was just dragged out of bed and is an embarrassment to the royal guard."

                                            "Hey, he knows his shit, this Yates."

                                            >"Thank you, sir!"

                                            >The night drags on in this way.

                                            >You, Nightmare Moon and her classy assistant gossip about ponies you all hate.

                                            >The entire time, Nightmare is sat on you.

                                            >After a while, you get comfortable in that position.

                                            >Laughter and drinking soon reigns on the grassy hill you're all on.

                                            >Bottles of quality booze litter the ground.

                                            >You're pretty drunk, as is Nightmare Moon.

                                            >Yates has downed more booze than the pair of you put together, but he's still completely sober.

                                            "Y-yates... Man, how are you still standing?"

                                            >"It isn't my job to get drunk, sir."

                                            "Wooah. That's hardcore."

                                            >Nightmare Moon prods your face with a hoof.

                                            >"Heeey, Anonymous."

                                            "Whut."

                                            >"We should have sex on this hill."

                                            >Your eyes widen.

                                            "Thass a great idea! Ey yo, Yates, you want in on this?"

                                            >"It would be a pleasure, sir."


                                            >Just over a week later.


                                            >Wake up in the middle of the night.

                                            >Sniff.

                                            >What smells like burning?

                                            >Walk downstairs as you pull on your dressing gown.

                                            >As you enter your rather small kitchen you see a large blue figure stood at your stove.

                                            >"Greetings! It is our two week anniversary!"

                                            "OH GOD FUCKING DAMMIT NOT AGAIN."


                                            The End.