Pants in the Relationship part 8


                                            >"I should really be getting home now," Berry said as she stepped down from the stool.

                                            "You good?"

                                            >"Anon you made me drink, what, three tall glasses of water? I'm trying to rush home to take a leak. I'll be fine."

                                            "Alright, just be safe."

                                            >"Thank you for the celebratory drinks, I see why Cheerilee took a liking to the bee's knees."

                                            "Come by Friday, I'll make a cherry coke for you."

                                            >"Whazzat?"

                                            "A drink that tastes like cherry cola but it's all booze."

                                            >Her eyes light up, "when is a good time to come over on Friday?"

                                            "Swing by when you're off, the gang should all be here by then."

                                            >"Alright, I look forward to hearing about your date with Ditzy!"

                                            "Uh-huh."

                                            >Berry finally steps off of your porch and waves goodbye, "Kept you two long enough, have a good evening!"

                                            "You bet."

                                            >You shut the door and walk to the kitchen where Ditzy is whipping up her cereal-in-a-cup snack.

                                            >After today, some sugary sweet cereal sounds good right about now.

                                            >"Packed day hm?"

                                            "It's only Tuesday and I already have so much to deal with."

                                            >You had your bowl mostly filled before you started pouring the milk.

                                            >"Wanna listen to more of the tapes? It's so cool hearing Eris talk before her stardom."

                                            "Pass on that for now, I just need to rest my mind from all the info I soaked up today."

                                            >Once your bowl was filled you have a seat at your table.

                                            >"Oh?"

                                            "Yeah, first I find out the waitress talked to about how to deal with me then I'm finding out more about what happened before I got here like holy-"

                                            >"You spoke with her?"

                                            >You stop for a moment, not even realizing what you spouted off.

                                            >Cat's out the bag now, guess it's as good a time as any to elaborate.

                                            "She told me the advice she gave you."

                                            >You don't bother looking up as Ditzy took her seat.

                                            >She giggles, "Oh that? Yeah, she really wanted me to be forward."

                                            "Yeah, no kidding."

                                            >"But she had a point about being an inconvenience."

                                            "Eh?"

                                            >You look up to find her giggling.

                                            >"You got enough harassment with mares flirting and stuff. I wanted to do something fun."

                                            "Like hanging on the front of my pants?"

                                            >"I got to spend several days with you. Now look where we are."

                                            >She beams before digging into her cup of cereal.

                                            "You have no business having such a strong jaw."

                                            >Ditzy shrugs, "I've carried mailbags heavier than me, it wasn't that bad but I had a nice break from you sitting down."

                                            "You're welcome?"

                                            >"And now we're having our second date night tomorrow, right? After you give Coco the keys back?"

                                            "Oh, hadn't given it much thought, I figured Thursday or Friday."

                                            >Another shrug, "Okee, I don't mind. Where ya taking me?"

                                            "I'll get back to you on that."

                                            >Ditzy playfully scoffs, "you don't know?"

                                            "I'll think of something alright?"

                                            >"Okee."

                                            >She blushes as she eats her cereal.

                                            >But after a second, she stops. "Y'know, all last week and even this week we keep getting sidetracked."

                                            "Right? I still gotta return that conjuring gem to Screwy."

                                            >"How are you gonna find her?"

                                            "Easy, I'll just go to the mayor's office and ask her. Well, assuming we're on better terms."

                                            >Ditzy laughs to herself, "I keep forgetting you're trouble."

                                            "That a deal breaker?"

                                            >Ditzy's eyes lock onto you, "More of a deal maker, you're not getting off that easy."

                                            "I'm not?"

                                            >"Haha no~"

                                            >She swings some of her mane out of her face, "Can you do me a favor and not be so busy?"

                                            >You pause from enjoying your cereal for a moment, recalling how this week is going and all that happened last week.

                                            "Afraid not, got this big conspiracy case I'm working on, I can try to pencil you in somewhere."

                                            >She saw the smile on your face, you understood what she was saying.

                                            >Completely fair that she wants to spend quality time with you, she's good company.

                                            "Really it's just this apartment business and the Eris thing and I'm all yours."

                                            >"Okee."

                                            "Just 'okee'? Ha, alright."


                                            ---


                                            >Nine in the morning finally arrived, and you were waiting outside the apartment.

                                            >You've got your invoice folded in your jacket as well as the keys to the apartment.

                                            >Ditzy leans on the balcony rail on the lookout for Coco.

                                            >She's still a little sleepy, especially since you decided to visit the diner after this business had concluded.

                                            >"A stack of pancakes would be amazing right now."

                                            "No muffin in the morning?"

                                            >She shrugs, "Just have a taste for pancakes."

                                            >Bringing her sleepy head up, her head movements seem to be following someone walking along.

                                            >"She's here."

                                            >Ditzy gives a wave and smiles.

                                            >You lean against the outside wall, letting out a sigh of relief.

                                            >It's something about knowing the job is finally completed.

                                            >You greet Coco with a good morning and a handshake.

                                            >"Thank you so much for doing this," Coco says.

                                            "Coco I'm happy to say we've got a home here waiting for you. Come on in. I'll show you around and what we've done."

                                            ---


                                            "The apartment only had two big problems, the carpet in the living room and the old fridge," you say walking Coco to the living room.

                                            >"It smells so much better in here, the carpet looks amazing!"

                                            "We used industry-grade carpet cleaning equipment to get the stains out. And let the room properly air out."

                                            >The look on Coco's face was something to behold. Warms your heart helping ponies.

                                            "And now for the kitchen," you walk to the kitchen with Coco.

                                            >Reaching for the fridge handle, you pull and let Coco behold a new, clean fridge.

                                            >"Oh wow, thank goodness."

                                            "The landlord went ahead and replaced the old model I just had to get rid of it."

                                            >"Oh how did you go about doing that?"

                                            "Err overnight shipping, I won't bore you with the details. We got it out, and this is in."

                                            >You walk to the faucet of the sink.

                                            "I went ahead and adjusted the water temp for hot water, it was too hot to casually use you'd be hurting yourself just trying to wash dishes."

                                            >"Oh okay good, I was told that might be a problem when it comes to showers and such."

                                            >You walk her back to the living room.

                                            "We did a little rewiring of some outlets, just some of them weren't getting power or old broken switches. Also, we replaced some lightbulbs."

                                            >"Looks great Anon, I really appreciate this."

                                            "I'm happy I can help. Most of the job was pretty much an easy workload, just those two big issues that we've fixed."

                                            >You reach into your pocket with the folded invoice.

                                            "This will be the cost, get that to me whenever you can, I won't hound you about it."

                                            >"Oh yeah sure, can I get it to you on Friday? After this, I gotta help Rarity it's going to be another busy week for us."

                                            "Understandable," you say reaching into your other pocket for the apartment keys. "And here are the keys to your place."

                                            >"My own place, how wonderful. In such a timely manner too."

                                            "I had some help," you say smiling at Ditzy.

                                            >She gives a little wave.

                                            >"It's funny, a week ago wasn't she the one attached to the belt of your pants?"

                                            "To make a point, yes. But anyway, stop by my place on Friday, me and some of Rarity's friends like to hang out on the weekends in my bar basement."

                                            >"You have a bar in your basement?"

                                            "It's good times, stop by with the payment and have a drink, me and my bar back over here can make you whatever ya want."

                                            >"Oooh, do you make Manehattens?"

                                            "I can pick up some vermouth later this week, any other requests?"

                                            >Her eyes light up, "Lemon Drop martinis?"

                                            >You smile.

                                            "I make the best ones. Swing by and you'll see."

                                            >"I'll take you up on that."

                                            "Sounds great. Now, me and Ditzy gotta get some breakfast, if you have any concerns or maybe you know someone that has an odd job, by all means, bring me up."

                                            >"Word of mouth is very effective, I wouldn't have asked you if Rarity didn't bring it up at the diner while we were waiting for you."

                                            "Oh, that's cool of her."

                                            >"Yeah, she told me how you helped install her cabinets and other random stuff."

                                            >You laugh, recalling the month Rarity would bug you for any small thing she could think of needing help with.

                                            >Turned out to be the best thing for your local handyman reputation.

                                            "I'll need to thank her for that. Anyway, I'll leave you to it."

                                            >"Thank you so much, seriously."

                                            "Welcome to Ponyville."

                                            ---


                                            >"We should get her a housewarming gift," Ditzy said before biting a fork full of pancakes.

                                            >It's kinda nice knowing the breakfast you're having this morning isn't followed by any sort of work.

                                            >You could use a day off, even though it's Wednesday.

                                            >There's nothing that needs your attention right away.

                                            >You stretch your arms along the top of the booth having finished your breakfast.

                                            "I don't know her enough to think of anything, I could ask Rarity I suppose. What would you get her?"

                                            >"Cereal mugs. Oooh, you could get her a corkscrew for wine bottles, she seems to like wine."

                                            "Not a bad idea. I might get her some drink mixing equipment so she can drink at home."

                                            >"You think she'd like that?"

                                            "I'm just spitballing, but her making those two mixed drink requests tells me she'd love it. Hell, I'd be happy to show her how to make them properly."

                                            >"You only need one bar back, Anon."

                                            "Oooh, jealous?" you say with a laugh.

                                            >The way her eyes darted left and right told you that you were right on the money.

                                            "Don't you worry, I'll just recommend some proportions."

                                            >Ditzy folds her forelegs and rolls her eyes since she's not satisfied with your answer.

                                            "And she won't be behind the bar, okay?"

                                            >That got her to smile.

                                            "Thank you," she said sipping her last bit of coffee, her eyes closed with a hint of smug. "So where are you taking me this Friday?"

                                            "The jury is still out on that."

                                            >"Jury? Oh, you're gonna ask Berry and Cheerilee aren't you?"

                                            "God no, I wouldn't go to either of them for advice."

                                            >Ditzy tilts her head, "why?"

                                            "If I ask Berry, the whole town will know what I'm up to."

                                            >"Heh, that's true."

                                            "And I just can't be bothered with being stopped in the street every half step over something Berry said about me. The amount of date offers would skyrocket."

                                            >"What about Cheerilee?"

                                            "She'd offer to let me rent out the schoolhouse for Student Teacher roleplay for a couple of hours."

                                            >"..."

                                            "At a discount."

                                            >Ditzy was slow to blink, processing what you just said.

                                            >"Umm... what?"

                                            "Yeah, I too was speechless to find out that's her side hustle to get school supplies."

                                            >Ditzy noticeably shudders, "I've delivered packages there during her classes sometime. Sometimes she asks me to place them on the desk while she's helping a student."

                                            "So?"

                                            >"When I tried to move the boxes a little to keep them from falling over. Sometimes the surface would be... umm..."

                                            >She shudders again.

                                            >"Sticky."

                                            >You downed the rest of your coffee.

                                            >"I see why you wouldn't want to ask them where you should take me. Actually, please don't ask them."

                                            "How about Bonnet's, Friday night at eight?"

                                            >"I'm listening."

                                            "We'll enjoy some Alfredo since I didn't share any with you last time."

                                            >Ditzy leans in, puts her hooves under her chin, and smiles.

                                            >Her eyes have a sparkle to them making you feel like you're the only interesting thing to behold in her field of view.

                                            >"It's a date."


                                            ---


                                            "Ditzy, I understand you have to check up on some things right now, but did you really need to walk me home?"

                                            >She gives an enthusiastic nod as you step through the door.

                                            >"I'll be back in an hour or so."

                                            "Okay, Ditzy."

                                            >"Need me to pick up anything? Lemons? Limes? Sugar? Muffins?"

                                            "All of the above."

                                            >"Okee, see you in an hour~"

                                            >You chuckle as she flutters away.

                                            >Once you closed the door, were tempted to lay on the couch for a bit.

                                            >But you remembered you had the tape recorder in the basement.

                                            >Your curiousity is too much.


                                            Log #004, Apartment 8C, P0nyville.


                                            "Screwy's Log  zero zero... oh whatever."


                                            >A bottle is uncorked, chugged then thrown to the floor.


                                            >"WELL THAT'S DEPRESSING. We've yet AGAIN delayed our exploration through the portal for a full week and I've been tasked with babysitting the equipment in this apartment.

                                            >I had forgotten about the various properties we have throughout Equestria, this was supposed to be a place where our scouts are stationed. Now it's a glorified supply closet.

                                            >We're keeping all the expensive gear here in this apartment, it's cozy but cramped."


                                            >A thud hits what sounds like a desk. More groaning.


                                            >"Meanwhile everyone else got to go back to Manehatten, and I'm stuck here, out of the way and on the outskirts of town. All this equipment in here makes it feel cramped.

                                            >That's all I'm to do during this week, just sit and wait. I hope Sparky will be okay, I left plenty of food out for him while I'm gone.

                                            >Nothing to really report or keep a log about right now I guess. I don't like being cooped up this long. My mind is always moving who knows what I'll come up with?"


                                            >The tape ends with the tape recording clicking.

                                            >Damn, wasn't a whole lot on this tape, perhaps the next two might have something interesting.

                                            >There's just enough to make you want to keep pulling on the thread.

                                            >You eject the tape, then place the second tape in and check to make sure it starts from the top.


                                            Log #005 Apartment 8C, P0nyville.


                                            >"Well, we're delayed again, by three. Painstaking. Mother. FUCKING. Weeks. All because some filly waltzed around with her grandmother's necklace into the Chaos Field and it turned into a centipede and started chasing her. The poor thing is traumatized.

                                            >Now Rise Labs is under investigation by the law enforcement in Manehatten.

                                            >I did get word from Eris that they'll start focusing on the multidimensional project even more, an underground facility is going to be built near TSS-003.

                                            >She's thankful that there are others under Rise Labs who aren't in Manehatten and will be having them start the project.

                                            >Anyone inside Manehatten has orders to just continue as normal. Keep it weird like always and make slight distractions but nothing too outlandish.

                                            >Which makes sense, the occasional controlled explosion will do a lot of good to keep them a little focused on what's going on.

                                            >One problem though, I'm running low on the anti-bark vials, I've got, what, another month or so of supply left?

                                            >I have to keep myself distracted long enough, I'm not able to contact Eris like I usually would, trying to summon her here would make everyone in this town start talking.

                                            >When she materializes, she turns approximately a city block into a Chaos Field for about thirty minutes. The ground is a little bouncier, there's a lot of glowing, and things get stretchy and bendy.

                                            >That would cause enough trouble in this apartment complex.

                                            >And I can't just send a supplies list to the lab in Manehatten, that'll just put our operations in P0nyville on their radar.

                                            >So the next step is to space out the vials. Usually, I take one vial a day, but I'll need to go as long as possible before taking another one just to get a good timeframe.

                                            >Then base my schedule based on that."

                                            ---


                                            >"Anon?" You hear Ditzy call from upstairs.

                                            >You put the tape on pause then head up to see what Ditzy got.

                                            >Walking into the kitchen you a couple of bags sitting on the kitchen counter.

                                            >Along with some paper brown bags, vaguely shaped like bottles.

                                            "What's all this?" You ask, only expecting clear bags of lemons and limes.

                                            >"I picked up some vermouth since Coco will come by this weekend, but I wasn't sure whether to get dry or sweet vermouth so I got both."

                                            "Ah, good thinking, I forgot to ask her if she liked them on the drier or sweet side."

                                            >"Mhmm, and of course lemons and limes, you always need those."

                                            "That is true, how much do I owe you by the way?"

                                            >"It's on your tab," she said with a smirk.

                                            "My tab?"

                                            >She nods her head, "Don't worry, it'll be paid on Friday, so..."

                                            "Fair enough."

                                            >"Anything new on the tapes?"

                                            "Things are picking up, can you bring the lemons and limes with you? I'll explain everything."

                                            ---


                                            >You gave a brief recap before starting to go through the next tape, which sadly after that initial introduction of the situation, turned nearly fruitless.

                                            >It started out with her keeping track of herself on how long she can last with the vials.

                                            >More barking started occurring when the supply started running thin, other times all that could be heard was her humming and running water.

                                            >You can tell she was cleaning something from a lot of metallic clangs going on.

                                            >It got worst when she was on her last few days of the stuff.

                                            >At the tail end of the tape, she had one last message that was clearer than roughly the last forty minutes or so.


                                            Log #???


                                            >"Well, that is the last vial. I could've gone a couple more days, but I just got a letter from Rise Labs out in Los Pegasus, which, y'know...

                                            >What? We have reached there too? Anyway, they've set a certain date, which is tomorrow night, and the experiment will finally begin!

                                            >Manehatten did a great job of keeping up weird appearances and they've finally got everything into place, they'll send some ponies to assist with me bringing the equipment on the site.

                                            >This was so irritating! Waiting all that time, I nearly lost my marbles, I had to keep busy so cleaning all the equipment on a regular basis.

                                            >It at least helped me keep my mind off things, sometimes during a four-day stretch between vials, the dog mind would give me the urge to just lie down at the office.

                                            >On the floor.

                                            >And bark at whoever opened the door.

                                            >The good news is I'm able to control that behavior a little better, cleaning the equipment kept me busy.

                                            >To ensure sanitation, I had to adjust the hot water for the kitchen sink.

                                            >Had to really crank up the temp on that.

                                            >Anyway, gonna get everything together, so next time I should be at the site-"


                                            >The tape ends with a click.

                                            >All that rambling on tape two finally came to an end.

                                            >Now for the third and final tape, at least you hope so.

                                            >Who knows? Maybe there are more tapes lying around somewhere.

                                            >You insert the tape as Ditzy puts things away.

                                            >Just as she was about to ask where to put the bottles of vermouth you point to the mini fridge.

                                            "And do not open them until Coco gets here later this week."

                                            >"You still need to show me how to make it through~"

                                            "True, it's easy. Some whiskey, some of the vermouth, and some like a couple of dashes of bitters and you stir that in your mixing glass."

                                            >"I wanted to ask," she said leaning on the bar a little, "how long do you stir for?"

                                            "The same time it takes to shake drinks: it's a feeling. Just don't lose your head. You'll get the hang of it."

                                            >"What kind of glass do you pour it in?"

                                            "Preferably a chilled martini glass, but this is a basement, not some fancy craft bar. I'll put it in a red solo cup if I have to."

                                            >She chuckles, "Ever think about running your own bar?"

                                            "I have, and no thanks on that, I'm fine with just making drinks for friends on the weekend. Keep life simple, y'know?"

                                            >"For now anyway."

                                            "What does that mean?"

                                            >"We've been hanging out for a while now and I notice things don't stay normal for long."

                                            >You had to sit back for a moment, recalling the past events.

                                            >"Isn't it weird that you take on some random project and that whole thing was weird trying to get the job done, the fridge and all that."

                                            "Right."

                                            >"And now you're listening to some tape about the tenant, who's part of Eris's lab? Like what?"

                                            "But that's just one situation."

                                            >"It was constantly weird though. No?"

                                            "True, but that's behind us now, for the most part. That's only one thing."

                                            >"Then there's me and of course, the fact you're even here in the first place."

                                            >She leans forward more, her desynced eyes focused on you.

                                            >"Face it Anon, you're a weird magnet."

                                            >You chuckle under your breath as you get ready to press play on the tape recorder.

                                            "I can't argue with that."


                                            Log #023, TSS-003, Evergreen Forest


                                            >"It's Screwy, log zero two three, I think. Sorry that the last recording got so... unfocused, and future Screwy.

                                            >Anyway, it took a while but we've finally got the project set up.

                                            >Then we had to wait until the dead of night to begin.

                                            >We've got the frame for the portal ready, Eris is here providing a little bit of her touch to make sure things go awry perfectly.

                                            >She keeps advising we keep any personal belongings in the ARTS Boxes she provided.

                                            >It's fair, I guess she doesn't want our watches turning into time bombs.

                                            >Which are NOT fun by the way. Trust me, you don't want to get blasted with that hyper-aging blast force.

                                            >It's why my mane is grey now but I'm not even that old! It pains me we haven't reached time-correcting technology yet.

                                            >Anyway anyway we're about to open this portal up."


                                            >Shared laughter among several while electricity was amping up.

                                            >You can hear the static crackling, and wind brushing against the recorder's mic.

                                            >Metallic clangs and fabric ripping get louder.

                                            >The electric ramping gets a higher pitch as the static in the electricity fills the air with sharp snaps.

                                            >Stabilization finally gets implemented leaving only a steady whirring of machinery.

                                            >Something happened to the tape as voices start to slow and speed up.

                                            >The pitch of conversations becomes inconsistent as if the tape itself was affected by the warping of reality.

                                            >Static and fuzz comes through the mic sounding like someone trying to find a radio station in a bad area.

                                            >The wind hitting the mic dies down as you hear Screwy pick up the tape recorder to slip into what you assume is a lab coat pocket.

                                            >"We're getting something, I'm going in closer to see what's on the other side."

                                            >The whirring of the machinery gets louder as Screwy approaches.

                                            >"Remember Screwy, we're here to observe!" Eris shouts from the background.

                                            >Screwy chuckles, "Oh Eris and her plausible deniability. Okay, I'm approaching the platform, we can't quite see what's on the other side just yet."

                                            >A few steps on the platform, "Let's see, maybe we can record what's on the other side for a second?"

                                            >More brushing against the mic as Screwy pulls the recorder out of her pocket.

                                            >"Screwy that's close enough-"

                                            >A brief scream, then soft pattering on the grass suggest Screwy jumped back.

                                            >"What in the..."

                                            >All that could be heard is snoozing.

                                            >"Uh... Eris? Could you come over here and--"

                                            >"Just a sec let's see where we've got this thing tuned to," Eris replied.

                                            >A moment of silence as Screwy brings the tape recorder up to her mouth, her breathing not frantic, but you can tell she's alert.

                                            >"Yeah, just stick your head in the portal, not like we just saw some sleeping creature just roll onto the platform."

                                            >"OH, it's Anonymoose's bedroom. The portal is literally in the middle of his bed."

                                            >"...you know its name?"

                                            >"Well his wallet is on his nightstand. This is weird."

                                            >"You, of all things to ever exist, are calling this weird experiment, weird?"

                                            >"I think we're off by a little, I need to see the thin spot map."

                                            ---


                                            "Ditzy, can you pour a shot of Joan Trotter?"

                                            >"Sure, you okay?"

                                            "I'm... processing."

                                            >You pause the tape, they were muttering among themselves as they were going over the map.

                                            >Ditzy was careful when she poured the whiskey, using two hooves as she titled the bottle.

                                            >Once the liquid filled the glass a bit, she stopped pouring and you had already knocked back the shot before she could get the cork back on.

                                            >You take a deep breath, sliding the tape recorder away from you, not really a need to hear much else.

                                            >"Are you mad?"

                                            "No, not at you anyway. One more."

                                            >Ditzy obliges, pouring you another shot.

                                            >You cleared your throat as it went down.

                                            >"At Eris?"

                                            >You laugh to yourself.

                                            "No, at me, for being a light sleeper."

                                            >Ditzy tilts her head, and you can see the question mark floating above it.

                                            "I woke up and just kinda wandered around. That night was a blur, but I remember running into a zebra that spoke strictly in rhymes."

                                            >"You've met Zecora?"

                                            "Is that her name? I need to send her something, should I ever find out where she lives. Anyway, she lead me to Fluttershy, and Fluttershy and her friends helped me adjust to life here. And well..."

                                            >"Yeah?"

                                            >You take a gander at your empty shot glass, then take in the scenery of your bar set up in your basement.

                                            >A slight smile as you feel the warmth from a buzz coming on.

                                            "I'm doing alright for myself."

                                            >You snap out of your moment of appreciation and grab the tape recorder then head for the stairs.

                                            >"Anon? Where are you going?"

                                            "Gotta track down Screwy and give back her personal belongings. You comin'?"

                                            >"Right behind ya!"


                                            End of part 8