6271 34.64 KB 813
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Written by Slasher_Science
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>This story all started on a cold and stormy night in the middle of Ponyville.
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>The wind was howling and the scum of the town lurked in the shadows.
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>Always waiting for an opportunity to get a break.
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>Always skulking...
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>Okay actually it was another sunny, cheerful, non-skulking, non-lurking, rainbows and smiles bullshit day in Ponyville.
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>You walk past the school in deep thought.
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>Where was the action?
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>Where was the adventure?
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>You always were a big comic fan.
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>Back on Earth you were a regular comicon attendee.
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>And no one had better dare get you started on /co/...
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>You look over at the school grounds.
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>Fillies laugh and prance around playing games.
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>You feel a sense of warmth fill you.
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>Sure, you wished for action and adventure, but seeing those young ponies happy and carefree made you really appreciate the peace.
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>You notice Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo together.
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>Two fillies walk over to them.
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>If you remember correctly, those two were called Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon...
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>You stop and watch as they talk.
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>Suddenly Silver Spoon pushes Sweetie Belle.
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>She stumbles and falls back into a mud puddle created by yesterday's heavy rain.
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>You gasp.
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>Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara laugh and walk off around the building.
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Not on MY watch!
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>You make sure your beloved friend Sweetie Belle is helped up by her friends,
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>Then take off at a steady pace after the two bullies.
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Not on my watch...
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>You catch up to the two fillies in an empty court yard.
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>Perfect.
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>They gossip and giggle as they walk, swaying their little hips.
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>You take off toward them at a run.
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>As you get close they stop and look back at you.
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>Fear fills their eyes as they see the only human in Equestria charging at them full tilt.
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>They drop to the ground and cover their heads as you jump over them.
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>You close your eyes and smile, imagining how awesome you must look.
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>You land and skid to a stop in the dirt, turning and posing with your hands on your hips.
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>The two fillies look up in awe at your form.
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>You raise two fingers to the sun and give them a dashing smile.
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Hello girls!
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>They look at eachother, back to you, then back to eachother and roll over laughing.
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>"W-what are you DOING monkey man?!"
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>You frown.
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>That was a totally lame super hero name.
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I saw what you did to my friends.
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>Diamond Tiara makes a constipated face, "you're friends with the LOSER crusaders?!"
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>Silver Spoon nods after failing to kiss Diamond Tiara when she's thinking not looking, "y-yeah! We thought better of you Anon!"
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>You smile menacingly.
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I don't appreciate you bullying my friends.
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>Diamond Tiara tosses her mane back with a *hmph!*
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>"What are you gonna do, tell on us to Cheerilee?"
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>You step forward and rub your hands together.
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I suppose you girls have never heard of corporal punishment?
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>You grab both fillies.
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>They scream and flail.
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>Placing them over your knee, you raise your free hand.
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Let this be a lesson,
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>You swing your hand forward and slap Silver Spoon's little rump.
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Bullies will learn fear,
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>The fillies scream and begin to apologize and sob as you go to town spanking their bottoms.
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BY TAKING IT IN THE REAR! HAHA!
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>After a few good spanks you place them back down.
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>They both rub their plots with tears in their eyes and back away from you.
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>"My *hic* m-my father will hear about this!"
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>You take a sudden threatening step at them.
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>They turn and flee with a yell.
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>You practice another pose accompanied by a hearty laugh.
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>That felt great!
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>You really saved the day!
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>"Anon!"
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>You turn to see Sweetie Belle running to you
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>She stops in front of you in a crouching position like she's ready to pounce.
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>Her eyes are wide with excitement and her cute little tail flails around behind her.
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>"I saw the whole thing! You're my hero!"
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>She jumps into your arms and hugs you.
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>You laugh and rub her head.
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All in a days work Sweetie Belle! HaHA!
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>You feel your pride swell.
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>You were a hero.
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>You ARE a hero!
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>Time for a visit to Rarity.
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>You bring Sweetie Belle back home.
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>Rarity greets you and Sweetie Belle goes into giddy mode telling her sister of your feats.
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>Rarity approves.
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>She offers you some lunch as thanks.
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>"Sweetie Belle has told me of those AWFUL little brats, I'd say it's about time they got a little slap on the hoof."
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>She smiles at you with sparkling eyes.
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>"Or on their BUTTS!" Sweetie Belle busts into a fit of giggles and spews her sandwich everywhere.
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>"Manners Sweetie!" Rarity scolds.
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>What a pleasant family.
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Rarity, I actually had a favor to ask...
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>A few hours later you are back in Carousel Boutique after a trip to your house.
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>You had made some quick sketches and brought them to Rarity.
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>She puts on her glasses and spreads the drawings out on a workbench.
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>"Oh my, darling this is... Simply marvelous!"
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>You grin at her praise.
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>"And this spandex would look so fetching on your tight tushie!"
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>You blush.
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>"I'll get started right away! We'll have two done by midnight."
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>You thank her over and over as she starts her work.
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>It was happening.
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>Your suit would strike fear and awe into all those who opposed the peace.
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>All those who opposed
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>CAPTAIN PONE!
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>The next night you take to the streets.
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>Or whatever the ponies call them.
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>Your suit feels good on you.
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>All green spandex covering your whole body.
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>Black boots and gloves.
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>A simple eye cover like Robin wore.
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>Rarity sewed a large logo on the chest in black lettering.
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>Two letters.
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>Your symbol as Captain Pone:
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>'CP'
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>Wait a minute...
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>Well shit, probably should have thought this out more...
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>The ponies won't make that connection though.
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The name stays!
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>You stand on a roof and scope out your town.
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>There must be SOME trouble going on.
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>A movement below catches your eye.
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>There's a pony skulking around in the shadows.
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It's... Pone time.
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>You jump from the roof and land in front of the villain.
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For great justice!
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>No no, that's no good.
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>You pinch the bridge of your nose and try another phrase.
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What are... YOU doing here?!"
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>It's a work in progress.
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>The pony drops a bottle of what you see is cider.
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>You look up from it and get a full view.
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Rainbow Dash??
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>She hiccups and her eyes go wide.
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>"What the... That's- that's so AWESOME!"
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>She runs to you and examines your suit.
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>"Is that a CAPE?!"
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>You can't help but pose for her.
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Yes it is I! Defender of peace! CAPTAIN POOOOOOONE!
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>She cheers and clops her hooves together,
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>"You are seriously the COOLEST pony ever!"
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>Wait what?
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P-pony?
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>She thinks you're a pony...
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>Rainbow Dash circles around you.
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>You will let her admire your glory for a while before walking a beat again.
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>You feel her pull up your cape.
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>"Oh yeah... That's one nice ass you got there Captain."
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>What?
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>You turn and step back.
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Thank you?
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>Her face is flushed. This pony is drunk.
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>In public!
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Rainbow Dash, I'm sorry.
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>She tilts her head.
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This is against the law and must therefore punished.
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>She turns and shakes her rear at you.
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>You can see her naughty bits as her tail sways.
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>She looks back and moans.
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>"Come punish me then Captaiiiiin..."
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>You stutter and back away.
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Actually... Just head home Dash.
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>She puts a hoof to her head.
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>"Oh but what if I pass out on the way? Or get mugged?!"
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>Good point.
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>You have a civil duty.
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Okay Rainbow let's-
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>Before you can finish she zips under your legs and you're riding her through the air.
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Whoa! What are you-
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>She cheers and performs her Sonic Rainboom.
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>You can't help but laugh along with her.
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This is amazing!
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>"You ain't seen nothing yet Captain Bone, wait until we get to my place."
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>You get to her place.
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Wait this isn't your home!
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>She's brought you to the hotel.
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>"Of course not. I'm crashing here for the week while my house is re-fluffed."
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>Couldn't she do that herself?
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>Whatever.
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Well, I must take my leave now Rainbow Dash. Take care!
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>You turn to leave but feel a tug on your cape.
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>"Wait..."
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>You turn back and see her holding onto you sheepishly.
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>"Captain Pone, you're so cool... And... I r-really would like it if you maybe hung out with me for a little maybe?"
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>But
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>But crime!
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>And... And villains!
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>She gives you the puppy eyes.
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>Shit.
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Alright. But, only for a little young mare!
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>She squees and drags you inside.
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>You get to her room and have a seat on the couch.
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>She pops open a bottle of Punch Berry Wine and pours two glasses.
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>Your weakness is wine.
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>So classy.
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>She sits beside you and gives you a glass.
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So Rainbow Dash, what do you do for fun?
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>She takes a long swig, "what do YOU do for fun Captaiiiin?"
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>Is there something in her eyes?
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>Why is she looking at you like that?
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>And why are her wings stuck out like that?
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>And WHY is she massaging your thigh?
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>You didn't even get into a brawl today, so you're not sore.
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Well, I like to fight crime!
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>Rainbow places a hoof on your spandex-bound crotch.
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>"And I like to do this!"
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>She latches on to you and forces her tongue into your mouth.
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>The fiend!
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>You push her away.
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Rainbow Dash what are you thinking?!
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>Her hoof shoots up and rips away your mask.
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>Your secret identity!
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>You cover your face, but hear her gasp.
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>"Wait, y-you're not a pony! You're... Anon?"
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Damn...
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>You uncover yourself and look away.
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You've revealed my identity. And on my first night too...
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>What a poor excuse for a hero.
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>Dash hands you your mask back, still in shock.
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>"Anon I didn't know you could be so..."
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>You cringe.
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>"... AWESOME!"
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What?
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>When you look at her she tackles you onto the bed.
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Rainbow wait, I have to go!
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>She rubs her body on your spandex and kisses you again.
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>"I'm so turned on right now. I think- I think spandex is my fetish."
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>You struggle under her.
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>She looks down, "I don't think you came armed, so I'll assume that isn't your weapon jabbing into my crotch..."
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>Oh no.
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>Of all the rotten times to deploy an erection...
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Rainbow Dash let me go!
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>She frowns.
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>"You wouldn't want all the ponies in town to know Captain Pone's secret identity now would you?"
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>Your dreams!
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Now uh, let's not be hasty!
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>She smiles and paws at your suit.
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>"Good. Now I don't know how to get this suit off of you so, whip out that cock!"
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>The next thing you know, you're behind Rainbow on the bed with your hands on her rear.
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>Your super cock is at full power, exposed through the zipper hole Rarity installed for super urination purposes.
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>Rainbow moans and wiggles her butt.
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>"I don't even care about foreplay, just rut me!"
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>You look over at the wall.
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>There's a large mirror.
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>You see yourself wearing your full suit, positioned for action.
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>She let you put the mask back on.
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>Actually she insisted.
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>Suddenly you feel cool.
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>You stare at the mirror as you squeeze her marshmallowy flanks and thrust into her.
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>She moans and collapses forward.
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>You smile at your reflection as you begin to pump into her wet hole.
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>"Oh yes Captain! I've been a baaaad mare!"
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>You take your hands off of her flanks and flex into the mirror as you rut her.
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>The way the spandex hugs your curves pleases you.
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>Rainbow Dash cums and gives a bleat before she passes out.
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>You salute your reflection and exit her.
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>After you zip yourself up and tuck her in, you snap a piture of yourself with the spy camera you keep on you and sign it.
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>'To my adoring fan Rainbow Dash, xoxo CP'
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>With that final touch you lay the photo next to her and leave.
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>Of course you pose and flex in the mirror some more before jumping from the window.
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>You are Fluttershy.
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>For the past two days you have watched Anon's antics.
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>To say the least, your groin had been a melting pot of sugar honey iced tea.
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>His Captain Pone costume made your heart flutter.
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>The way his cape and hair flapped in the wind when he ran made your wings flap.
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>That tushie in those spandex made-
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>"O-oh my..."
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>You whine and back into the wall, lightly rubbing your flanks back and forth.
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>"I'm so... Naughty."
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>You see Ano- Captain Pone jump gracefully from the window of the hotel he entered with Rainbow Dash.
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>Like a beautiful hawk, he lands on the ground
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>On his face.
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>You wince as Captain Pone belly flops into the grass.
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>Not the best landing....
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>You flitter from the pile of trash you're hiding in and over to him.
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C-captain Pone, a-are you okay?
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>He looks up in shock.
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>"Who are you fiend?!"
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>You attempt a pose and whimper.
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>The suit Rarity made you is sure to impress him.
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>It's an all pink fuzzy fluffy bunny suit, complete with floppy ears.
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>So cute~
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>But you don't wear a mask, the ears are connected to a hood, so your face sticks out.
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>Why doesn't he recognize you?
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Um... I'm B-Bunny Mare, y-your sidekick!
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>He stands and dusts his suit off.
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>Your legs wobble.
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>"Sidekick?!"
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>You cower as he rubs his chin in thought.
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>"BRILLIANT! My very own sidekick! Are you ready to fight for peace?!"
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>He poses with one arm raised behind him as though he's running.
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Um, y-yes?
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>He punches the air.
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>Sooooo cute!~
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YES! YES I'M READY FOR YOU!
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>"Then let us go forth BM!"
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>Captain Pone hops onto your back and points to the sky.
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>"WE RIDE!"
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>You are Anon.
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>No, you are Captain Pone!
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>For the next few nights you ride with your sidekick, B-Bunny Mare, or as you call her: BM.
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>There's actually crime everywhere in this god forsaken town!
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>Fillies not returning books on time to Cheerilee!
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>Jay walkers!
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>Litter bugs!
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>The Mayor is now aware of your presence and has hired ponies to capture you.
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>A wanted man.
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>It made you hard.
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>B-Bunny Mare was a strange one.
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>Every time you rode her, she secreted a mist behind her through the air.
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>Was this a form of cloaking device?
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>And what about those squeaks she would emitt during your rides?
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>You had begun to suspect she employed sonar for flight.
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>Pretty cool.
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>This night, you land at the newest fiend's lair.
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>The library...
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>Twilight Sparkle had been using an ungodly amount of electricity in that tree of hers.
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>What was she doing in there?
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>You knock on the door.
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>When the purple mare answers, she looks tired and frazzled.
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>"What do you want?"
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Twilight Sparkle, I have come to do battle!
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>She groans, "Listen, you REALLY don't know what you're dealing with here, I'm on a day off and I haven't even gone in my basement today, DON'T make me change my mind!"
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>The door slams in your face.
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>Fucking Twilight Sparkle.
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>Looking for more crime, you fly through the air on your trusty sidekick.
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BM! Down there!
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>You point down to a pony standing on a roof.
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>B-Bunny Mare swoops down, in a fluster of cloaking mist and sonar squeals as you press your body against her.
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TRIXIE!
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>BM lands and you do a barrel roll off, stopping in a pose the Power Rangers would cream over.
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Trixie you villain! What are you doing?!
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>The unicorn smiles.
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>"The Great And Powerful Trixie has heard of you Captain Pone!"
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>She removes her hat.
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>"And your sidekick, B-Bunny Mare!"
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>B-Bunny Mare squeaks, "Um, a-actually it's just Bunny Mare..."
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>Trixie reaches into her hat, "Whatever! Behold!"
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>She pulls a filly from the magical hat.
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Sweetie Belle?!
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>Sweetie squirms as she is held in the air.
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>"Help me Captain Pone!"
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>Your act almost falters
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Trixie what are you...
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>She walks to the edge of the building and holds Sweetie Belle over the empty space.
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NO!
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>You run forward but stop when Trixie holds up a hoof,
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>"Ah ah ah Captain Pone, you wouldn't want me to slip now would you?"
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>You grit your teeth, frozen in confliction.
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What is your game Trixie? Why do this?
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>She flips her mane.
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>"To send a message! A message that it is not okay to steal the spotlight in this town!"
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>Bunny Mare whimpers from behind you, "b-but you're just a b-background pony..."
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Easy now Trixie...
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>"You're only a p-plot device for Twilight Sparkle t-to grow..."
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Put Sweetie Down and we can end this!
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>Trixie tilts her head.
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>"Hmmm, okay."
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>She lets Sweetie Belle drop.
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NOOOOOOO!
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>You run and jump from the building.
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>You can hear Bunny Mare yell behind you.
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>Trixie laughs and disappears in a cloud of smoke.
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SWEETIE!
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>You reach out for her as she plummets.
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>This three story fall would surely end her.
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>She screams and reaches for you.
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>Almost touching...
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>You feel hooves wrap around your stomach from behind as Bunny Mare stops your fall.
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NO! NOT ME! HER!
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>You reach futily as Sweetie Belle falls.
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>Her scream is silenced as she smacks headfirst into the ground.
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SWEETIE BELLE!
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>Bunny Mare is crying as the two of you stare at her unmoving body.
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Oh god... Take us down!
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>You are lowered and collapse on your knees over her.
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>You put an ear to her mouth.
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She's breathing! We need to get her to a hospital!
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>You scoop up her little body and hop on Bunny Mare.
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Hurry!
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It's been two days since the fall.
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>You sit in a hospital room at the bedside.
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>You've never left her side.
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>Your costume had been thrown away.
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>The other ponies all came and went every day.
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>Rarity almost never left.
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>Rainbow Dash had come to comfort you when she could.
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>You sob and drag your nails down your face.
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>This was all your fault.
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>You never asked for this.
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>You had only wanted to help these ponies.
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>To help this town.
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>But instead, you had gotten a filly hurt.
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>A filly that trusted you.
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>A filly that could possibly not make it...
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>No amount of apologies could wake Sweetie from her coma.
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>You grab her tiny hoof and bury your face into her bed.
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>"Anon?"
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>You look up in shock.
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Sweetie Belle?
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>She smiles weakly at you, the setting sun illuminating her from behind.
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>"You're here..."
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I-I'm here... I'm always here. I'm so sorry Sweetie Belle I'm SO sorry!"
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>You break down.
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>Her hoof rubs your hair.
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>"Captain Pone may be super, but... You'll always be my... Hero... Anon..."
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>She fades into slumber.
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>You are Fluttershy.
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>Emotions cannot describe how hard it was to see Anon cast aside the mask.
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>The thing that made him happy.
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>That bond you had shared on those magical nights.
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>All gone.
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>Burned.
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>By Trixie.
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>Sure it was sad what happened to Sweetie Belle, but...
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>You are in your cottage.
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>The whole night was spent preparing this.
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>A new costume.
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>Makeup smeared across your face.
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>Grease in your mane.
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>This character you had seen in Anon's beloved comic books.
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>This was the way to get your time back.
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>You lick your lips and leave your home.
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>This was for Anon.
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>You would be the villain.
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>Not the villain he wanted.
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>But the one he needed...
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>You had made a decent nurse outfit with the help of Rarity.
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>It gets you into the hosptial unnoticed.
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>You find Sweetie Belle's room.
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>Anon had finally decided to go home.
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>Oh well.
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>You walk up to the bed.
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>Sweetie opens her eyes weakly.
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>"F-Fluttershy?"
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>You smile wickedly down at her.
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Hi.
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END PART 1
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>It has been a few days since you retired the identity of Captain Pone.
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>You sit at the kitchen table in your underwear nursing a bottle of cider.
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>There's large bags under your eyes.
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>Your hair is greasy from not showering.
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>The stuble on your face is beginning to make you look like a vagrant.
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>You are a broken man.
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>The last of your alcohol is drained and you look up.
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>A pony sits at the other end of your table.
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>A pegasus pony with makeup smeared across her face.
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>Her mane is greasier than yours.
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A-are you who I think you are?
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>You feel fear as she smiles at you.
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>"HahaHAHA h-ha?"
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>You can't believe some pony has taken up the Joker's persona.
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>"You like it? I-I've been watching you... I wanted to see what y-you'd do. And y-you didn't disappoint."
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>She licks her lips.
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>"You let a filly almost die. Then, y-you let the commissioner- er, mayor take your place..."
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>You slam your fist on the table.
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The mayor is doing good in my absence!
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>"I-I know the truth: there's no going back... You've changed things,"
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>Her eyes shift in a twitch,
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>"Forever."
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>You frown.
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Do you want to kill me?
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>Jokermare gives a shrill laugh.
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>"I-I don't want to kill you! What would I do without you? No. No no... You. Complete. Me."
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You're garbage who... Uh, does things for money?
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>"D-don't talk like one of them, y-you're not!"
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>Her hooves are on the table.
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>"See t-to them you're just a f-freak... Like me! They n-need you now, and when they don't... They'll cast you out."
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>"L-like a leper... um, If that's okay with you..."
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>She smiles at you and licks her lips with a twitch.
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>"A-aren't you gonna ask where Sweetie Belle is?"
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>Your eyes widen.
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>Without thinking, you reach forward and slam her head on the table.
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WHERE IS SHE JOKERMARE?!
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>She laughs and wipes some blood from her mouth.
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>"Ah... Never start with t-the head, the victim gets all... F-fuzzy."
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>You sit back down.
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Okay, you wanted me, here I am.
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WHERE'S SWEETIE BELLE?!
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>"I'll tell you, but you might have to dawn that p-pretty little suit..."
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No!
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>You smash your bottle on the ground.
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Never again! That's my one rule...
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>She gives her shrill insane laugh.
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>"Oh... Then t-that's the rule you'll have to break to find t-the truth."
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>You bolt up and punch her in the face.
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>She falls to the floor laughing.
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WHERE IS SHE YOU MONSTER?!
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>You pick her up and slam her into the wall.
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>She gasps and lets out a moan.
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>The scent reminds you of Bunny Mare's cloaking mist.
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>"I-I'm not a monster, I'm just ahead of the c-curve."
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AHHH!
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>You slam Jokermare onto the ground and begin beating her about the face as she laughs and moans.
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>When you get tired you leave her moaning and discharging on the floor.
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>For some reason, you think, her blood is a sticky fluid that only comes from her genitals.
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>Odd...
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>No time to worry about that, you put on some clothes and run to the hospital.
-
>You get to Sweetie Belle's room and burst in.
-
>The mane six, minus Fluttershy and Rarity are all standing around the bed weeping.
-
>They turn and notice you.
-
>Immediately you are tackled by four sobbing ponies.
-
WHERE IS SHE?!
-
>They flinch at your deep gravely roar.
-
Sorry...
-
>Twilight holds up a piece of paper, "Jokermare took her Anon!"
-
>You snatch the paper and look at it.
-
>Written in red crayon is 'HaHAhahaHAHAha' all over the page with a crude drawing of Jokermare carrying Sweetie Belle.
-
Damn it...
-
>You should have never left her at your home...
-
>"Anon,"
-
>Rainbow Dash grips your shirt, "can we speak in private?"
-
>The other mares let you go.
-
Sure?
-
>Your friends exit the room, leaving you and Rainbow alone.
-
>She looks at you pleadingly, "You need to become Captain Pone agai-"
-
No.
-
>She stares at you with an open mouth.
-
Never again.
-
>Her face changes to rage.
-
>"Sweetie Belle has been foalnapped! She needs to be saved!"
-
>You look at your hand in a daze.
-
The last time I was the Pone... A filly almost died...
-
>Rainbow Dash slaps you across the face.
-
>"YOU'RE BEING STUPID! THIS ISN'T THE ANON I KNOW! HE WOULDN'T BE THIS SELFISH!"
-
>You stare at her in awe as she screams at you.
-
>"YOU'RE JUST A... A SELFISH BABY!"
-
>With that she huffs and flies out of the window.
-
>You are Fluttershy.
-
>After that delicious beating by Anon, you use one of his socks to finish the job and clean up.
-
>He was so sexy when he was angry.
-
>But it's time to move on with your plan.
-
>You leave.
-
>After waiting in Mayor Mare's office for an hour, she finally shows up.
-
>The light flips on and she jumps upon seeing you sitting behind her desk.
-
G-good evening commissioner...
-
>She tilts her head.
-
Um... Mayor.
-
>"Where is Sweetie Belle?"
-
>She looks fearful.
-
Oh. I'll let her go, I just need something in return...
-
>She gulps.
-
>"I can give you however many bits you want."
-
>You sigh.
-
It's not a-about bits.
-
>You hold up the lighter taken from Anon's house.
-
It's about s-sending a m-message...
-
>You toss the lit lighter onto the desk you covered in lantern fuel before she arrived.
-
E-everything burns...
-
>She screams out for her security as you fly out of her window.
-
>You look back and see the building beginning to smoke.
-
>Oh dear...
-
>This was all for Anon.
-
>For Captain Pone.
-
>You would do anything to get your time back.
-
>By any means necessary.
-
>You are Anon.
-
>There's smoke in the air as you walk home with your head down.
-
>This town was going downhill...
-
>A phrase surfaces in your mind as you walk.
-
>"Captain Pone may be super, but... You'll always be my... Hero... Anon..."
-
>You stop and squeeze your hand tight, your nails digging into your palm.
-
>This was not who you were...
-
>Rainbow Dash was right.
-
>Nothing but a selfish baby.
-
>This town needed you...
-
>Ponies needed Captian Pone.
-
>You begin to run back to your house with a roar.
-
IT'S PONE TIME!
-
>After fishing your suit from the trash, you run up to your room and begin getting dressed, having to trade out a sock that is wet for some reason.
-
>You shave and wash your hair, making it into a nice feathered swoosh again.
-
>Feeling on top of the world you climb onto your roof.
-
>Looking out on the night, you breathe in deeply and hold two fingers up to the moon with a dashing smile.
-
FOR GREEEEAT JUSSSSSTICEEEE!
-
>You practice a few Pone Kicks and Pone Punches (original moves, donut steel!), then take off into the night.
-
>You are Rarity.
-
>You sit in your workshop, going over some Captain Pone costume alterations you've been dying to try out.
-
>These nights have been spent sleepless, creating costumes and gadgets for CP.
-
>You knew he'd be the one to rescue your Sweetie Belle...
-
>He just HAD to!
-
>You feel exhausted but keep working.
-
>The front bell rings as a pony enters.
-
Who's there? We're clooooosed!~
-
>Lyra enters your work room and sits down.
-
>She had been working for you recently, managing the finances.
-
What is it dear?
-
>You keep your nose to the grind, not looking at her.
-
>"You wanted me to do the diligence on the MLP holdings deal again,"
-
>She pauses.
-
>"Well... I found some irregularities."
-
>You sigh.
-
Their Colt EO is in royal custody.
-
>"No, not with their numbers, with yours."
-
>She places a paper down on the desk and smiles,
-
>"Don't tell me you didn't recognize your baby out there biffing royal carriages in the Equestrian Times..."
-
>Somehow she had gotten her hooves on a design sheet for an original Captain Pone suit.
-
>You remove your stylish glasses and frown.
-
>"What are you building for him now? A rocket carriage?"
-
>She smiles smugly.
-
>"I want free dresses for the rest of my life. And giant foam hands."
-
>With a sigh you lean forward.
-
Let me get this straight, you think that our client, the only human in the world is secretly a vigilante who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands, and your PLAN is to blackmail this person?
-
>She looks frightened suddenly, realizing her hasty mistake.
-
>She stutters and licks her lips.
-
Good luck.
-
>You smile smugly back at her.
-
>Lyra stands and slides the designs back to you.
-
>"K-keep that..."
-
>You are Trixie.
-
The GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie!
-
>Sorry
-
>You are The Great And Powerful Trixie,
-
>You sit with your cronies, Snips and Snails in The Great And Secret Lair.
-
>As you discuss this new villain Jokermare, you hear a quiet laugh.
-
>You look up and see her walk into the room.
-
Give me one reason why I shouldn't have my colt here tickle your head off?
-
>It almost looks like she falters at your threat.
-
>"H-how about a magic trick?"
-
>Jokermare pulls out a carrot and stabs it into the table.
-
>What?
-
>"I'm going t-to make this carrot, disappear..."
-
>Snips gets up and walks over to her with a glare.
-
>She quickly grabs his head and slams it down onto the carrot.
-
>The vegetable is rammed into his mouth and he swallows it, then falls to the floor licking his lips.
-
>"T-tada..." she holds her hooves up with a smile.
-
>You tilt your head as Snails stands and licks his lips.
-
Sit. I want to hear her proposition...
-
>Jokermare sits.
-
What do you propose?
-
>"It's simple... w-we uh, snuggle the Captain."
-
>You laugh.
-
If it's so simple why haven't you done it already?
-
>She frowns, "If you're good at s-something, never do it for free."
-
How much do you want?
-
>She licks her lips, "half."
-
>Snails laughs, "you're crazy! Enough from the clown!"
-
>He stands up and advances toward her.
-
>She backs away and holds out a sugar cube.
-
>You gasp.
-
>Jokermare backs toward the door, "l-let's not... lick this out of proportion..."
-
>She opens the door,
-
>"M-meet me at city hall t-tonight."
-
>You are Captain Pone.
-
>Mayor Mare had signaled you by using the Pone Signal.
-
>A large lit-up 'CP' blazed in the sky over Ponyville.
-
>You would have to thank Rarity later.
-
>When you arrive you find that her office is completely burned out.
-
>But she seems fine.
-
>"Captain Pone... It took a lot of cider for me to convince myself to call on you."
-
>You frown and scan the area, flexing a little.
-
Have you heard anything about the filly?
-
>She raises an eyebrow.
-
>"What's wrong with your voice? Are you sick?"
-
>You clear your throat.
-
Don't waste my time.
-
>She holds out a card to you.
-
>More crayon drawing on a playing card.
-
>It simply reads 'UR A FAGET'.
-
>You toss it down and look up.
-
So, she will be here tonight?
-
>Before the mayor can speak, you hear familiar laughter.
-
TRIXIE!
-
>Trixie appears on the roof in a cloud of smoke and fireworks.
-
>She has goons with her now.
-
>Two colts with brown paper bags on their heads with eye holes.
-
>"It is I!"
-
>You grit your teeth when Jokermare steps into view beside her.
-
>This is going to be one intense battle.
-
>It's a good thing you stopped at Rarity's before this and got her latest CP equipment for you.
-
>You run at the building.
-
>Using your new Pone Boots that are magically enchanted, you run straight up the wall of the large building, your arms held out in a v behind you.
-
>Trixie and Jokermare look surprised by this.
-
>You smile.
-
It's Pone time...
-
>You jump onto the roof over their heads as they cower.
-
>God you're almost hard at how cool you must look.
-
>You land and turn to face them in a Pone Pose.
-
What are... YOU doing here?
-
>You pinch the bridge of your nose.
-
>That line was supposed to be worked on...
-
>Trixie steps forward, "The Great And Powerful Trixie has come to... SNUGGLE you once and for all!"
-
>You gasp and step back.
-
>"And Jokermare is here as we-"
-
>You all look over to see Jokermare is not there.
-
>Trixie growls, "whatever! Minions! Snuggle that fool!"
-
>Her two colt cronies advance toward you.
-
>You reach into your pocket.
-
Looks like you young ones could use some... CP in your life!
-
>You pull out the emergency pocket sand you described to Rarity.
-
>Thank goodness she included it...
-
>You throw it into the pony's faces.
-
Wait a minute, that's not sand...
-
>The cloud of white powder engulfs the minions and they fall to the ground convulsing.
-
SALT?!
-
>A natural hallucinogen and aphrodisiac to ponies.
-
>The two giggle and flail on the ground, rubbing and kissing eachother.
-
>Well shit...
-
>Trixie roars in rage and runs at you.
-
>With a magic blast to your chest, you are knocked onto you back.
-
>Before you can catch your breath, Trixie is on top of you.
-
>"I have you now Captain Pone! Prepare to get the shit snuggled out of you!"
-
>You strain to fight her off.
-
P-pone!
-
>Suddenly you hear a series of squeaks.
-
>Trixie stops and looks up.
-
>"What is that?"
-
>It sounds like...
-
Sonar!
-
Bunny Mare!
-
>Trixie is tackled off of you in a green blur.
-
>You jump up and watch as the two struggle on the roof.
-
What do I do?
-
>Bunny Mare now sports a green costume that matches yours.
-
>Trixie pins Bunny Mare and smiles.
-
No!
-
>You run toward them, but it's too late.
-
>Trixie rubs her cheek on your sidekick's.
-
>Bunny Mare squeals and goes limp under the fiendish snuggling.
-
You monster! Take this!
-
>You wind up while running,
-
PONE PUNCH!
-
>Your fist connects with Trixie's face and she's sent flying with a 'POW!'
-
>You drop and cradle Bunny Mare in your arms.
-
Bunny Mare! You... You saved me...
-
>She looks up at you with tears in her eyes.
-
>She's fading.
-
>You squeeze her tightly.
-
>"Y-you... You really d-did it Captain... You r-really made the gra*COUGH!*"
-
>You stroke one of her floppy ears and she gives a sonar squeak and releases some cloaking mist.
-
>"You're the greatest... Hero... Ever..."
-
>Her eyes close.
-
>You sob and look to the sky.
-
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
-
>You stand and look upon Trixie with rage.
-
>She raises, rubbing her jaw and laughs.
-
>"Aw, sorry about Baby Mare!"
-
>You take off your Pone Utility Belt (marvelous bedazzled version) and let it fall beside you.
-
Trixie... You have poned your last pone...
-
>You charge at eachother.
-
>Her horn glows and you feel a magical blast glance off your cheek.
-
>You yell and kick at her.
-
PONE KICK!
-
>It connects with her side.
-
>She yelps and falls.
-
HaHA!
-
>You take a moment to pose.
-
>She glares up and blasts you in the chest again with her magic.
-
>You drop to your knees and gasp for breath.
-
>Still too early for poses...
-
One last move Trixie...
-
>You both stand and face eachother.
-
>"One move will assure Trixie's great victory!"
-
>You smile and charge.
-
>She screams her name and gallops at you.
-
FOOOOR GREEEAAAT JUSSSTICE!
-
>You dodge her spell and grab her.
-
>She struggles in fear as you lift her at arms length.
-
>With a signature sparkling smile you unleash your supreme move.
-
PONE HEADBUTT-UTT-UTt-utt-utt...
-
>The words echo as your skull bashes into Trixie's.
-
>With a sceam she's sent flying off the building.
-
>Before she hits the ground, she disappears in a puff of smoke.
-
>Her last words fill the air.
-
>"Curse you Captain Pone!"
-
>You take a second to pose for the cheering onlookers below.
-
>After a few photo shots, you turn and go to Bunny Mare.
-
>You lift her and she wakes up with a feeble smile.
-
>"Y-you did it..."
-
>You kiss her cheek.
-
>A massive cloud of her mist fills the air.
-
>You set her down and the two of you walk to the edge of the building.
-
>The crowd of ponies below erupt in cheers and chant for you.
-
>"CP! CP! CP!"
-
>You look down to Bunny Mare and smile.
-
>She nods at you and her legs wobble.
-
>Both of you wave down at the crowd, lit up by the Pone Signal.
-
>You notice Sweetie Belle on her sister's back below.
-
>She cheers up to you.
-
>"YOU'RE THE GREATEST CAPTAIN PONE!"
-
>You feel a swell in your heart.
-
Let's go Bunny Mare...
-
>You fly off on BM, the crowd running along underneath you below.
-
>The spotlight follows you as you glide through the night air.
-
>You raise two fingers to the moon and smile.
-
This is the best night ever...
-
>You are Fluttershy.
-
>It has been a week since Anon defeated Trixie.
-
>His website on the Ponynet, 'For Great Justice' has recieved over one million upvotes.
-
>You have never been happier.
-
>Every night you fight crime with your hero.
-
>All is as it should be.
-
>Your only worry is how much time he's been spending with Rainbow Dash...
-
>Oh well.
-
>You giggle into the mirror as you get ready.
-
>Captain Pone was here to stay.
-
>Even the Mayor approved of him now.
-
>The town idolized him.
-
>Especially all the little fillies and colts.
-
>You had even gotten Angel a CP suit that he played in.
-
>He was star struck when you brought the Captain over before a mission.
-
>You finish applying your makeup.
-
>Sure, Captain Pone was here to stay.
-
>But...
-
>He always needed a worthy villain right?
-
>His happiness was your happiness.
-
>You laugh at your reflection and lick your lips.
-
Captain Pone...
-
Are you ready for our night out?
-
THE END
by ArchiveAccount
by ArchiveAccount
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