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Various /mlp/ shorts

By Glimbrain
Created: 2023-10-19 21:54:46
Updated: 2024-04-23 20:36:20
Expiry: Never
anongildaapplejacktrixiepinkie piecelestialunansfwoctaviamaud piecozy glowsmolderopaline

  1. Short greens that I wrote up for various threads, sorted by date created.
  2. Encased in [square brackets] are the prompts that inspired them, if any.
  3.  
  4. ***
  5.  
  6. Table of Contents
  7.  
  8. Character focus will be indicated in (parentheses). If there's no specific focus, they'll be denoted with (General) instead.
  9. NSFW stories will be marked with [NSFW]
  10.  
  11. - 1 - (Celestia) - (You) and Celestia
  12. - 2 - (Opaline) - Boopaline
  13. - 3 - (General) - Pocket Spray!
  14. - 4 - (Octavia) - Donkpity
  15. - 5 - (Octavia) - Tea in White Space
  16. - 6 - (Celestia) - Like a Swan
  17. - 7 - (Celestia) - The Sun Code
  18. - 8 - (Smolder) - Smoldering Affection
  19. - 9 - (Cozy Glow) - Once a Golly…
  20. - 10 - (Gilda) - Griffon Lifeguard
  21. - 11 - (Luna) - Moon Up
  22. - 12 - (General) - GG no re
  23. - 13 - (Applejack) - Apples
  24. - 14 - (Opaline) - The Magic Laugh
  25. - 15 - (General) - Long Neck Lucy
  26. - 16 - (Trixie) - On the Trail With Trixie
  27. - 17 - (Applejack) - Standoff, Hats Off
  28. - 18 - (Maud Pie) - The Rocky Diet
  29. - 19 - (Trixie) - Trixie Cucks Herself [NSFW]
  30. - 20 - (Pinkie Pie) - Pinkie Mous
  31. - 21 - (Cozy Glow) - Headpats for Chaos Cozy
  32. - 22 - (Smolder) - The Pass
  33. - 23 - (Pinkie Pie) - Pinkie's Permanence
  34. - 24 - (Trixie) - The Cute and Marketable Trixie
  35.  
  36. ***
  37.  
  38. - 1 - (Celestia) - (You) and Celestia - (26/09/23)
  39. ["I want to hug Celestia."]
  40. ["I want to fug Celestia."]
  41. ["I want to mug Celestia."]
  42. ["In what order?"]
  43. >You (try to) mug Celestia.
  44. >Her incandescent snowpity essence purifies your soul right then and there.
  45. >Prostrating yourself before her, you beg forgiveness for your misdeeds.
  46. >In her boundless compassion, she states everyone has their lowest moments, their darkest days, but as long as you are willing to carry love in your heart, you will always be welcome in Equestria.
  47. >She asks that you rise, and as you do, you find yourself staring into her gentle magenta eyes.
  48. >You hug Celestia.
  49. >Still feeling indebted, you ask if there's anything, anything at all you can do to pay her back for changing your worldview forever.
  50. >She appoints you as a royal advisor.
  51. >Years later, as her closest advisor, you two are enjoying a private dinner, reflecting on all the good you've done together.
  52. >She invites you into her room.
  53. >You fug Celestia.
  54.  
  55. ***
  56.  
  57. - 2 - (Opaline) - Boopaline - (26/09/23)
  58. >*Boop*
  59. >Opaline recoils from your touch, nose scrunched up.
  60. >"Human! What is the meaning of this assault?! Explain yourself right now or I'll send you to the dungeon!"
  61. >Oh god, not the dungeon, that's where she stores all her garlic.
  62. "I-it's called a boop, My Queen. It's…it's how we humans transfer our magic."
  63. >Her eyes light up at your mention of "magic."
  64. >"Magic, you say… Very well, Human! You may proceed with this 'boop.'"
  65. >She leans in, exposing her snout to you, eagerly anticipating more where that came from.
  66. >*They proceeded to have lots of boops afterwards.*
  67.  
  68. ***
  69.  
  70. - 3 - (General) - Pocket Spray! - (27/09/23)
  71. >You're strolling through the streets of the Crystal Empire with the Princess of Love.
  72. >She's having a conversation with one of the crystal ponies, some dispute about love or something.
  73. >"Leave the situation to me, my dear subject, or my name isn't Princess Cadence!"
  74. >You immediately sense something amiss.
  75. >Shuffling your hands into your pockets, you query her as the crystal pony leaves.
  76. "Hey Lovebutt, could you repeat that last thing you said?"
  77. >"'Or my name isn't Princess Cadence?' Why, Anon, is there something wrong?"
  78. "Actually, it's 'Cadance,' not 'Cadence.'"
  79. >She briefly gives you a look of confusion, but her eyes soon widen in realisation.
  80. >She starts sweating profusely.
  81. >"Well that is—I mean—What I meant to say was—"
  82. >Quickly pulling your hand out of your pocket you reveal your—
  83. "POCKET SPRAY!"
  84. >"AAAAAAH!"
  85. >Denizens in town can see that strange biped, holding a can of bug spray, chasing the Queen of the Changelings throughout the streets.
  86.  
  87. ***
  88.  
  89. - 4 - (Octavia) - Donkpity - (03/10/23)
  90. ["What are the unique qualities of donkpity compared to the average snowpity?"]
  91. >You and Octavia are sitting on the couch in her apartment getting shitfaced.
  92. >You bullshit to her that you're collaborating with the leading experts in Snowpity to produce a comprehensive report on its benefits for mankind.
  93. >And that you must see it: her Donkpity.
  94. >Surprisingly, she accepts, and reveals it to you.
  95. >The sensations are…overpowering, blindingly so.
  96. >A rustic smell begins to fill your nostrils, and a familiar sense of home washes over you.
  97. >You can faintly hear a violin being played in the background, the notes feel like they're massaging your eardrums.
  98. >Opening your eyes, you find yourself on a path following a countryside meadow, a clear night sky cast overhead.
  99. >You look over to the meadow and, strangely, see a herd of donkeys from your world grazing.
  100. >One of them looks up to you, nodding to you and giving you a glance of…acceptance?
  101. >You begin to walk alongside the path as the melody increases in volume.
  102. >The cool night breeze nips at your skin as you walk, but it's not an unpleasant feeling, more akin to the gentle pecks of a passionate lover.
  103. >Before long, you succeed in locating the source of the music: her—your ashen-grey angel; illuminated by the moonlight, it's as if the entire world exists only to bear witness to her symphonies.
  104. >Noticing you, she gestures for you to join her, and it's then that you notice a unmanned piano next to her.
  105. >Making your way over to the piano and seating yourself, you tentatively test the keys.
  106. >While you can't claim to have any true proficiency when it comes to this instrument, somehow, the notes come naturally to you as you play.
  107. >Octavia smiles at you, and you continue to play into the night.
  108. >As you come to, you're back on the couch in her apartment, and you see Octavia practising her latest composition on her violin.
  109. >Seeing you wake up, she smiles at you, stopping her session to make her way back to you.
  110. >Seating herself on the couch once again, she asks you if her "Donkpity" was what you'd hoped.
  111. >You tell her it that it was even better than you were expecting.
  112. >As she snuggles up to you and closes her eyes, you two drift into slumber, closer than ever.
  113.  
  114. ***
  115.  
  116. - 5 - (Octavia) - Tea in White Space - (07/10/23)
  117. [Image of Octavia drinking tea in White Space]
  118. >You find yourself in an expansive white void.
  119. >You're not sure how you ended up here; one moment you were walking to the kitchen, and now, you're here, wherever here is.
  120. >A familiar voice calls out from behind you.
  121. >Turning around, you see Octavia.
  122. >You ask her where the both of you are.
  123. >She tells you that this is White Space: a personal getaway for her for when she needs to escape the worries of everyday life.
  124. >You question her on how to leave this place.
  125. >She tells you that you can leave when you're ready.
  126. >After all, if you wandered in here, you must have some worries of your own.
  127. >She pats the spot next to her.
  128. >Sitting down next to Octavia, you ask her what you can even do in this place.
  129. >With a smile, she offers you a tea cup, it already has some tea in it.
  130. >Reluctantly, you take a sip, and you notice an immediate calming effect on your nerves.
  131. >In this state, you feel like you can truly appreciate the tranquillity of this place.
  132. >No shouting, no loud music, no industrial machinery.
  133. >All you hear is the faint, steady breathing (and occasional sip of her cup) of the mare next to you.
  134. >You look at her, she looks back.
  135. >You smile at her, she smiles back.
  136. >Maybe White Space isn't so bad after all.
  137.  
  138. ***
  139.  
  140. - 6 - (Celestia) - Like a Swan - (24/10/23)
  141. >You're bird watching next to a lake adjacent Ponyville.
  142. >Today's featured bird: swans! A whole flock of them have gathered in the water.
  143. >You throw out some birdseed that you had prepared, watching it float away in their direction.
  144. >Gazing at them as they gorge upon your seed, you notice one them looking your way.
  145. >Compulsively, you find yourself giving a small wave; not that you expect it to respond, anyway.
  146. >But surprisingly, it swims over to your location, and you soon find yourself face-to-face with this aquatic avian.
  147. >It is then you notice that this swan is much larger than the rest, and is also wearing a top hat for some reason; but hey, you're not gonna start judging the local wildlife on their fashion choices.
  148. >The swan gives you a curious gaze through her magenta eyes—you think she's a her, anyway.
  149. "Aw, aren't you a big girl!"
  150. >You rub along the side of her neck, and give her a few scritches under the chin.
  151. >She coos, then whinnies—wait, whinnies?
  152. >The sound startles you, causing you to flick your hand upwards, taking the poor swan's face off.
  153. "Oh God! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean—wait—"
  154. >That's not a face, it's a…mask? The top hat is a part of the ensemble too, it seems.
  155. >No, that's not a swan, that's…
  156. "Princess Celestia?"
  157. >Indeed, that long horn and auroral mane can belong to none other.
  158. >Just how was she able to fit her long, flowing locks in there…?
  159. >Upon hearing the utterance of her name, her ears fold down and her pupils shrink to pinpricks.
  160. >She hurriedly glances around, likely checking for other witnesses, but it's just you, her, and the other swans.
  161. >Turning her head back to you, the proximate temperature soon rises to a threatening peak as she stares you dead in the eyes.
  162. >"Nopony must *ever* find out about this, understand?"
  163. "O-okay."
  164. >She magically fits the swan mask back on, and the temperature cools down.
  165. >"…And I didn't say stop."
  166. >You spend an uncomfortably long amount of time massaging around her neck as she hums in contentment while the other swans look on in abject jealousy.
  167. >She was very soft. 10/10 would swan watch again.
  168.  
  169. ***
  170.  
  171. - 7 - (Celestia) - The Sun Code - (25/10/23)
  172. ["What’s the cheat code to spawn Celestia?"]
  173. >You stand in front of the mirror in your bathroom.
  174. "Wheely Bopper Wheely Bopper Wheely Bopper."
  175. >You shoot your reflection some finger guns, spin 720 degrees and moonwalk out of the bathroom and into the hallway.
  176. >Without turning around, you carefully sidestep your way rightwards to your living room.
  177. >Every sidestep is equidistant, and for every three sidesteps you take to the right, you take one back to the left.
  178. >Eventually, you judge yourself to be the right distance from your living room; you make a 90 degree turn to face it.
  179. >After readying yourself, you perform a dive roll, landing yourself into a prone position.
  180. >You crawl forwards until you reach the end of the room, where a window awaits.
  181. >From your grounded position, you launch yourself into the air with a Worm manoeuvre, orienting yourself in an upright standing position.
  182. >Looking out of your window, you stretch your arms upwards into a Y-position, praising the sun; this part isn't necessary for your ritual but you find it funny.
  183. >Turning towards the centre of the room, you walk forward three steps, arms at the ready.
  184. >You thrust your left arm up, and then thrust your right arm up.
  185. >Next, you thrust your left arm down, and then thrust your right arm down.
  186. >Then, you thrust your left arm left, and then thrust your right arm right.
  187. >Afterwards, you thrust your right arm left, and then thrust your left arm right.
  188. >Following that, you pinch your right nipple, and then you pinch your left nipple.
  189. >Finally, you end with a pelvic thrust.
  190. >A near-blinding flash occurs as a bathtub materialises itself in the middle of your living room.
  191. >And in that bathtub—is Princess Celestia; she's humming while combing herself with a brush.
  192. >"Hmm~ hmm—huh?!"
  193. >She quickly realises that she's had a change of scenery, and her eyes soon fall upon you.
  194. >Her expression is one of tired resignation.
  195. >"…What is it this time?"
  196. "Can I borrow your crystal remote thing? I lost mine and I wanna watch TV."
  197. >"I already lent it to you last time, don't you remember?"
  198. "Uh…"
  199. >"Did you check under the couch?"
  200. "Oh, let me see."
  201. >Making your way over to the couch, you do so, and—hey, there it is!
  202. >You wave it to her.
  203. "Ah, here it is. Thanks Celly!"
  204. >She sighs, and teleports out without another word.
  205. "…Wait a minute, there's no charge left!"
  206. >You stand in front of the mirror in your bathroom.
  207.  
  208. ***
  209.  
  210. - 8 - (Smolder) - Smoldering Affection - (26/10/23)
  211. >"Hey hot stuff, how about you and me ditch this joint and *really* heat things up, huh?"
  212. >Sitting on a nearby windowsill, Smolder wiggles her eyebrows at you.
  213. "This 'joint' is my workplace, Smolder."
  214. >You walk past her, proceeding down the school hallway, not slowing down for a moment.
  215. >"Oh, I've got a place for you that needs working over, needs working over *real good.*"
  216. >Flying up behind you, she rests her claws on your shoulders as you walk; you can feel her breathing on one of your ears, gross.
  217. >"Come on, big guy, you know you want to *slay* this naughty dragon~"
  218. "Smolder, I have a class to teach, and *you* have a class to attend, if I'm not mistaken."
  219. >"Eh, they won't miss me."
  220. "…I'd hate to have to bring up your truancy to Principal Twilight on account of you skipping valuable friendship lessons."
  221. >Smolder coughs.
  222. >"Whoa—hey! Let's not do anything drastic here! We're both adults here, aren't we?"
  223. "Only one of us is an adult here."
  224. >"I can be an adult in all of the *right* ways, Nonny."
  225. "My name is Anonymous."
  226. >"Come on, we don't have to be so formal with each other, we live under the same roof, after all."
  227. "*You* live here. I've got my own house, Smolder."
  228. >"Call me Smol, big guy."
  229. "I'd rather not."
  230. >"Aw, don't be like that. You put up a cold front, but I know you're hiding a heart of gold in there, and we dragons *love* gold."
  231. >Leaning into you, she repositions her claws from your shoulders to around your upper torso
  232. >As she slowly begins to caress your chest, she lowers her tone to a sensual whisper.
  233. >"I mean…maybe we can work something out? I'd be willing to do *anything* for your silence, big guy…"
  234. "Really, anything?"
  235. >"Mmm, yeah. Interested now, Nonny?"
  236. "I want you…"
  237. >Her breath hitches.
  238. >"Y-yeah?"
  239. "To attend Fluttershy's class."
  240. >She groans.
  241. >"Ugh, that butterball? I'm a dragon! I don't need to learn about how to feed birds or brush rabbit fur!"
  242. "Well, if attending Twilight's office is more your speed…"
  243. >"No! No—that's fine! I'll go, alright! Geez…"
  244. >Detaching herself from your body, she flies off. Finally, some peace and quiet.
  245. >Spike, your teaching assistant who was walking with you all throughout this conversation, speaks up.
  246. >"Yikes. You think Smolder would get the hint, huh?
  247. >"I mean, you two are completely different species! And that age gap too, am I right?"
  248. >You roll your eyes.
  249.  
  250. ***
  251.  
  252. - 9 - (Cozy Glow) - Once a Golly… - (11/11/23)
  253. >"I don't understand, you've been reformed for years! You're happily married! Why are you doing this?!"
  254. >At the end of a long and bloody coup, Twilight Sparkle, Ruler of Equestria, lies defeated and powerless on the castle floor.
  255. >She casts a betrayed look towards Cozy Glow—once a filly, now a full-grown mare.
  256. >Yet still irredeemably evil.
  257. >All except in the eyes of one—her beloved.
  258. >That's you, by the way, standing right next to her.
  259. >Cozy wields a Staff of Dunking Specifically on Purple Pony Princesses.
  260. >"Gee, Twilight, I do appreciate my lovely Anon and all…"
  261. >She nuzzles into your side, before turning to Twilight with a smirk.
  262. >"But I don't know why you thought I'd suddenly start caring about other ponies after that."
  263. >"Because that's how we ponies are! We love and respect one another!"
  264. >Cozy takes a mocking tone.
  265. >"News flash, I'm not like the other ponies. And you *still* haven't realised that? That's okay, you'll have plenty of time to reflect on your mistakes later."
  266. >"You mean…after all these years, you were just faking it? But why? Why now?!"
  267. >"Typical Twilight, never able to see the bigger picture."
  268. >Cozy flies up close to Twilight.
  269. >"All of your friends are gone. The other princesses? Gone too. It's just you left, now."
  270. >"Even though we may be apart, Equestria is stronger than ever!"
  271. >Twiight struggles to a standing position, determination building on her face.
  272. >"You may have won today, Cozy, but somecreature will see you for who you truly are and stop you. The Magic of Friendship lives on in each and every—"
  273. >Cozy bonks Twilight on the horn with the staff, causing her to drop down, wincing.
  274. >"Oh, right, you and your incredibly diverse Equestria, of course. Pfft.
  275. >"Puh-lease, Equestria is easier than ever to turn against itself. I didn't even have to try compared to the Coronation.
  276. >"Face it, Princess. This is where your 'friendship' has lead you. Your journey is over."
  277. >She hovers over Twilight, forelegs outstretched.
  278. >"But me? My journey's just getting started."
  279. >She turns and leaves, slowing down to brush past you.
  280. >"Come on, Nonny. We have an empire to build."
  281. >Taking one last look at Twilight, you turn and follow Cozy.
  282. >You're conflicted.
  283. >On one hand, you've got a cute, evil Gollywife.
  284. >But on the other hand, you might have helped kickstart the founding of G5's Equestria.
  285. [Note: An Anon continued this at https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/40351520/#40525938 ]
  286.  
  287. ***
  288.  
  289. - 10 - (Gilda) - Griffon Lifeguard - (16/11/23)
  290. ["Imagine falling overboard in the ocean and your griffon gf immediately dives in to rescue you from drowning"]
  291. >You're on a cruise ship with your bro, Rainbow Dash.
  292. >The Wonderbolts are performing a show over the ocean, and Dash got you a front-row ticket to the action.
  293. >Shit's not just cash, it's cash-money.
  294. >Dash is flying with them in the skies high above—she's the star member, after all.
  295. >After executing a set of coordinated spins and turns with the squad, she splits off from the formation and starts descending—fast.
  296. >Oh hell yeah, she's gonna do it.
  297. >Your dumb ass heads to the edge of the ship deck, leaning against the railing.
  298. "Fuck yeah, Dash! Show that sound barrier who's boss!"
  299. >Just before she hits the water, she makes a sharp turn upwards, breaking the sound barrier and performing her signature Sonic Rainboom; a symphonic shock wave of colour overtakes your senses.
  300. >The shock wave sends an ocean wave colliding against the ship, rocking it back and forth.
  301. >It's not much of a problem for most of the passengers.
  302. >But you? You feel like you're on air right now, and that's because…you are.
  303. >Wait, what?
  304. >In the midst of the excitement you find yourself with nothing to stand on and no railing to grab onto.
  305. >Out of the corner of your eye you see that same railing you were once holding onto, but it's now moving farther and farther away.
  306. >The realisation finally hits you: you've fallen off the deck, and now—
  307. >You plunge into the cold water, sinking straight to the dark depths.
  308. >"Anon! Hold on! I—"
  309. >Dash flies up to the water surface and stops.
  310. >Panic starts to set in on her face as she looks at her wings, and then at you descending deeper and deeper.
  311. >"GET BACK, DWEEB!"
  312. >Dash is pushed to the side by…something else descending into the water—a bird of some kind?
  313. >The bird catches up with you quickly, wrapping its talons around your body; its feathered form provides a comforting warmth to contrast the abyssal chill.
  314. >And then, you ascend.
  315. >Out of the freezing ocean, and back into the comfortable open air.
  316. >Within a few moments, your saviour lays you down on the floor of the ship deck.
  317.  
  318. >You cough and gasp for air as your body enjoys breathing oxygen once more.
  319. >Laying on your back, you see a pair of amber eyes gazing down at you.
  320. >"You good?" you hear a feminine, raspy voice say.
  321. "Y-yeah."
  322. >"Good."
  323. >Steadying yourself back to your feet, you get a better look at your hero.
  324. >While the front of her is bird-like, with white plumage and a set of yellow talons, the other half of her is lion-like in appearance, with brown fur and brown wings.
  325. "Thanks."
  326. >"Be more careful next time, dweeb."
  327. >She gives you a light spank on the behind with a wing.
  328. >"A nice ass like that is wasted on the ocean floor."
  329. >She takes off into the sky, and Rainbow Dash trots up to you.
  330. >"Anon!"
  331. "Hey Dash, sorry about the scare."
  332. >"I know I'm awesome, but try to tone it down for the next time, will ya?"
  333. >Rubbing the back of your head, you look upwards, tracing the bird-lion's flight path with your eyes.
  334. "Who…who was that?"
  335. >"That's Gilda. She's working as a lifeguard here."
  336. >You see Gilda perch on the top of the ship mast; that's a hell of a lifeguard seat.
  337. >"Oh, and she's also a griffon. First time seeing one, right?"
  338. "It is."
  339. >Damn, Gilda, huh?
  340. >Dash prods your side with a hoof.
  341. >"Hey, I was totally gonna save you, y'know. Just didn't wanna steal the whole show, 'cause I'm already a lead Wonderbolt and all."
  342. >You give her a few reassuring pats on the withers.
  343. "Yeah, yeah, Dash. It's all good."
  344. >Satisfied with your answer, she turns and flies off to join the rest of her squad, ready to continue the show.
  345. >Your eyes drift to the top of the ship—towards Gilda.
  346. >She's still up there, surveying the area, ready to leap into action should the need arise.
  347. >She turns her head to you, noticing your stare.
  348. >And gives you a wink.
  349. >Whew.
  350.  
  351. ***
  352.  
  353. - 11 - (Luna) - Moon Up - (21/11/23)
  354. "Can you make it bigger?"
  355. >"Bigger?"
  356. "Yeah, the Moon, can you make it bigger?"
  357. >"I…we can change the phase, if that's what you would like."
  358. >You and Princess Luna are sitting in a open grassy field, gazing up at the night sky.
  359. >Luna's horn lights up, manipulating not the Moon—but the unseen Sun.
  360. >The manipulation of the Sun's light causes the Moon to shift phases—from waxing, to full, to waning, to new, then back to waxing again.
  361. >"How about that?" She beams proudly.
  362. >That's kind of freaky that she can do that with just magic, freakier still that it's the Sun that moves in this world, but that's not what you're here for.
  363. "That *is* impressive, but I meant like—the size, the actual size of the Moon."
  364. >She frowns.
  365. >"We are sad to say that that is beyond the scope of our talents. We can only move the Moon, not modify it."
  366. "But what if you brought it closer to Equestria so it would seem bigger?"
  367. >"I…do not think that is a good idea, Anonymous. Sister warned me of the dangers that the celestial bodies can pose when they drift too close to Equestria. The Sun, for example, is capable of eradicating all life with its unrelenting heat if it is left unchecked."
  368. "Yeah, but that's because the Sun is a giant ball of fire. The Moon, on the other hand, is completely harmless—a kind, stone goliath that watches over the night."
  369. >"When you put it like that…yes, I can see why the Moon isn't one to be feared—at any distance, even."
  370. >She gives you a pensive look.
  371. >"But still…I'm not sure about this, I can't imagine my sister will be pleased if she hears that I've been tampering with the Moon in such an unorthodox way."
  372. "That's exactly why you should do it. It'll be the sisterly prank to end all sisterly pranks."
  373. >"…Do you really think so?"
  374. "I know so. In fact, I have the utmost confidence that this will be…"
  375. >You lean in close.
  376. "The *ultimate* prank."
  377. >"Hmm…"
  378. >She rests her chin on her forehoof, deep in thought.
  379. >Her eyes soon light up with mischievous conviction as she turns to you.
  380. >"Very well, Anonymous, you have convinced me! I shall pull the Moon in to make it seem bigger."
  381. >She giggles to herself.
  382. >"And to see the look on my sister's face when my Moon dwarfs her Sun!"
  383. >Luna adopts a pointed stance towards the Moon and closes her eyes in concentration.
  384. >Her horn begins to glow.
  385. >And slowly, but surely, the Moon inches ever closer.
  386. >You can hear the faint sound of rushing water in the distance; a high tide is building.
  387. >As the moon closes in, so does the impending sense of dread.
  388. >Curiously, Luna herself seems to be growing in size as the Moon draws near.
  389. >Exponentially so, even.
  390. >Maybe this wasn't the best idea for a prank.
  391. >Hm.
  392. >You hear Luna shouting out to you from high above.
  393. >"We are making the Moon bigger, Anonymous! WE ARE MAKING THE MOON BIG—"
  394. >The end times have come.
  395.  
  396. ***
  397.  
  398. - 12 - (General) - GG no re - (24/11/23)
  399. ["It wasn’t my fault princess! It was Anon’s it was all his idea. Hes the one responsible for everything so punish him. Hes clearly much more trouble than hes worth. Why take it out on me your faithful student or your subjects? Make anon suffer for his transgressions princess we all know he deserves it!"]
  400. >Purplesmart just threw you under the bus in front of Celestia.
  401. >What a cunt, you didn't do anything to deserve this.
  402. >Slipping laxatives into her coffee is high-brow humour and you're not going to hear a single word otherwise.
  403. >Twilight is grovelling at Celestia's hooves, eager to ship you off to the fucking Sun or whatever morbid fate she has planned for you.
  404. >Celestia gives the both of you a judging look.
  405. >Maybe petrification?
  406. >She speaks with a commanding tone.
  407. >"Very well, I think I know what to do with Anonymous."
  408. >"Excellent! Whatever you choose, I'm sure it'll be the right decision! B-but if you want my opinion, Anonymous deserves only the harshest punishments you can give. H-he's pure evil! Not even the Elements work on him!"
  409. >Fuck off, Spergle; ain't nobody got time for that rainbow bullshit.
  410. >"Anonymous, come here." Celestia beckons you with a wing.
  411. >Welp, it's time.
  412. >You walk over to her and close your eyes; your punishment will hurt less if you can't see it, right?
  413. >"Anonymous…" She wraps a wing around you.
  414. >"As punishment for your crimes…" Here it comes.
  415. >"I hereby sentence you…" It was a good run, Anon. It was a good run.
  416. >"To live with me at my castle." And there it is—
  417. "Wait, what?"
  418. >"WHAT?!" an autistic voice cries out.
  419. >"I can see I made a grave mistake in sending you here, Anonymous. I had hoped your…unique perspective would help Twilight in her friendship studies. But clearly, she hasn't taken your wisdom to heart."
  420. >"T-that was a test? No! Wait, Celestia! Give me another chance I'll—"
  421. >"So, effective immediately, you're coming back to Canterlot, with me. I could certainly do with having someone like you around to help stave off the dreadful monotony of the day courts."
  422. >Celestia nuzzles your cheek and you hear a loud thud behind you.
  423. >She crouches down in front of you, extending a wing.
  424. >After holding this position for a few seconds, she questions you.
  425. >"Well, what are you waiting for?"
  426. "You don't mean—"
  427. >"Of course I do. Mount me, Anonymous, I'll fly you to Canterlot personally."
  428. >You situate yourself onto her back, ready to take off.
  429. >But before you do, you look back to Twilight one last time.
  430. >She's sprawled out on the floor, twitching and frothing at the mouth.
  431. >Damn.
  432. >GG, Sparkle, no re.
  433.  
  434. ***
  435.  
  436. - 13 - (Applejack) - Apples - (26/11/23)
  437. ["-Need to start a converstation"]
  438. ["Um… apples?"]
  439. >The most beautiful mare you've ever seen sits on the other side of the bench.
  440. >Her gamboge coat; her olive mane done up in a lovely ponytail, tied off with a red ribbon; her serene, verdant eyes; her stylish stetson hat; her cute country accent.
  441. >Everything about her is just perfect; there's just one problem.
  442. >You don't know what to say to her; you don't know how to break the ice!
  443. >The two of you occasionally steal glances from each other.
  444. >You have to say something; if you let this chance slip, you may never get another one.
  445. >Steeling your nerves, you take a deep breath and speak.
  446. "Apples?"
  447. >She turns her head to you, raising an eyebrow.
  448. >"…Apples?"
  449. >You nod.
  450. "Apples."
  451. >"Apples…"
  452. >She closes her eyes, deep in thought.
  453. >After a few moments, she opens them, and nods at you with a smile.
  454. >"Apples."
  455. "Apples!"
  456. >Her eyes shoot open.
  457. >"A-apples?!"
  458. >A bead of sweat drips down your forehead, did you go too far?
  459. >Before any more invasive thoughts can enter your mind, Applejack gives you a playful nudge, having scooted a lot closer to you on the bench.
  460. >"Apples? Apples."
  461. >You two laugh.
  462. >The two of you chat for a bit longer; the ice has successfully been broken.
  463. >Soon though, Applejack hops off the bench, and walks a few steps.
  464. >She looks back at you.
  465. >"Apples…?"
  466. "Apples."
  467.  
  468. ***
  469.  
  470. - 14 - (Opaline) - The Magic Laugh - (06/01/24)
  471. ["She laughs like an Ojou"]
  472. >"Ugh! Curse you, Sunny! Curse you and everything that you stand for!"
  473. >You duck as a chair is haphazardly flung in your direction.
  474. >You're not too bothered by the near miss; you know that Your Queen isn't *trying* to hit you specifically. She's just letting off steam after her latest defeat.
  475. >Because Queen Opaline Arcana is in the middle of another one of her temper tantrums after Sunny Starscout and friends have trounced Your Queen yet again.
  476. >You and Opaline are temporarily residing in a cave, waiting for the heat to die down back at the castle.
  477. >"I don't understand! Why must I keep losing to these accursed ponies?!"
  478. "Corporate mandate, most likely."
  479. >She sharply turns to you, eyebrow raised.
  480. >"Corporate what?"
  481. >With her focus now squarely on you, you feel a chill run down your spine.
  482. >Probably wasn't the best time for an off-key joke.
  483. >But you can salvage this.
  484. "W-what I meant to say was—you absolutely deserve to be the ruler, My Queen."
  485. >"Of course I deserve it. I'm *the* Fire Alicorn, aren't I?" She huffs.
  486. >"But I'm *not* the ruler, even though I'm *clearly* more qualified than those plebeians over at Zephyr Heights."
  487. >She takes a deep breath.
  488. >"So then—why?! Why does fate declare that those swine gorge themselves on food and fame, while I'm stuck here in this *dinky* little cave!"
  489. >You ponder for a moment.
  490. "Perhaps it's to do with how you present yourself?"
  491. >"Oh?"
  492. >She walks over to you, flaring her wings out and radiating a menacing aura.
  493. >"And do you have a *problem* with how I present myself? Hm?"
  494. "N-no, y-you are positively immaculate, My Queen."
  495. >You clear your throat.
  496. "But you could be even more radiant—radiant enough that your mere presence would sear all those who oppose you."
  497. >She folds her wings and hums.
  498. >"Go on."
  499. "One of the core components of any villain is their laugh."
  500. >"Hmph, their laugh, you say? Well, I see no issue on that front."
  501. >She puffs out her chest and lets loose a mad cackle.
  502. >She coughs at the end of it.
  503. >"As you can quite clearly see, my laugh is perfect as it is."
  504. >You value your life, so you don't dare use the cough as leverage in your argument.
  505. "Indeed, your laughter is most imposing, My Queen."
  506. >You pause briefly, considering your next choice of words carefully.
  507. "But different situations call for different kinds of laughter, do they not? It could never hurt to expand your repertoire."
  508. >Raising a forehoof up to her chin, she hums in thought.
  509. "Consider…the ojou laugh."
  510. >She lowers her hoof, raising an eyebrow.
  511. >"The…'oh joh' laugh?"
  512. >You nod.
  513. "Indeed, allow me to demonstrate."
  514. >You strike a regal pose, raising the back of your hand to rest just below your bottom lip, and you unleash your inner ojou-sama.
  515. "Oh ho ho ho ho!"
  516. >She stares at you for a few moments, then her mouth begins to quiver.
  517. >"S-snrk."
  518. >The dam breaks, and she bursts into laughter; unfortunately, it's not an ojou laugh.
  519.  
  520. >"You—you cannot be serious! Pfft!"
  521. >Not the reaction you were hoping for, but thinking about it—probably the most expected one.
  522. >But you're not willing to throw in the towel just yet.
  523. "It—yes, only those of true nobility can properly pull off an ojou laugh. It can only be considered a crude imitation when called from my lowborn lips."
  524. >You straighten your stance.
  525. "But you, My Queen, radiate regality. I know you could pull it off."
  526. >Your praise strikes a cord within her, as she quietly hums once more.
  527. "And think of the charisma you'll command with this laugh!"
  528. >"I have my doubts about this 'charisma' you promise, but…hm…"
  529. >She slightly raises a forehoof, and squints at it for a brief moment.
  530. >"Very well, then. I will give this a fair shot."
  531. >You try your best to suppress your inner joy and opt to simply nod in response.
  532. >She continues to raise her forehoof, resting the flat end just beneath her bottom lip in a fashion similar to how you presented yourself earlier.
  533. >"Oh…ho, ho, ho…"
  534. >Her laugh is pensive, but you can see true potential in Your Queen.
  535. >You clasp your hands together.
  536. "Wonderful, My Queen, simply sublime."
  537. >She sighs, not convinced, but you have an idea.
  538. "It's a great start, but imagine—if you will—that your greatest enemies stand in front of you right now."
  539. >Her eyes narrow, staring past you.
  540. >"Ah, Sunny Starscout, that turncoat Misty, and the rest of her entourage."
  541. "Indeed, imagine them, traitors all, daring to sully your majesty with their presence."
  542. >You clear your throat.
  543. "Take solace in the satisfaction of knowing that you are *superior* to those plebeians in every single way."
  544. >"Oh ho?"
  545. "For this is how the ojou draws from their font of power. The knowledge of your nobility, contrasted with the crassness of those who stand beneath you, and the wide gap in status between—it all builds up to most magnificent laugh."
  546. >She briefly glances at her hoof once more.
  547. "If it may aid you, My Queen: imagine that I am Sunny Starscout, standing in front of you right now."
  548. >She smirks.
  549. >"Oh, so you're Sunny, you say?"
  550. "Yes, I—"
  551. >She takes a step forward, her horn beginning to crackle with deadly intent.
  552. >Your eyes widen in response.
  553. "Nononono—wait! Not like that!"
  554. >Her magic fizzles out and she quickly raises her forehoof up to her bottom lip.
  555. >"Oh ho ho ho ho!"
  556. >Her laughter resounds throughout the cave, and your mouth is agape, awestruck.
  557. >She is magnificent.
  558. >"Oh yes! I do believe I'm starting to come around on this 'oh joh' laugh! Perhaps I may find some use for it after all!"
  559. >She lowers her hoof back to the ground and smiles at you.
  560. >"Well done, Anonymous! I knew I kept you around for a reason."
  561. >You curtly bow to her and she mirthfully marches away.
  562. >For your part, you can no longer hide the smirk building on your face.
  563. >You have just managed to get the regal, drill-haired pony to do the ojou laugh.
  564. >All according to keikaku.
  565.  
  566. ***
  567.  
  568. - 15 - (General) - Long Neck Lucy - (11/01/24)
  569. [Last line]
  570. "…So that's how everything bad that's happened back in my home world can be traced back to the Jews and their underground Merchants' Guild."
  571. >You have just finished regaling your compatriot with tales of your homeland.
  572. >It's highly likely she doesn't understand a lick of what you're saying, but she's an attentive listener all the same.
  573. >You know that she's a she because she's got those feminine cartoon-style eyelashes that every girl has got in this world.
  574. >You've come to call her Long Neck Lucy.
  575. >'Cause she's a giraffe, ya dig?
  576. >Yeah, you're rooming with a giraffe now.
  577. >You're rooming with a lot of different animals, actually.
  578. >'Cause you've been locked up in a zoo; you think it's a zoo, anyway.
  579. >It's a nice, open meadow with plenty of places to relax.
  580. >Honestly, not the worst place to be imprisoned in.
  581. >But it's the principle of the matter, damn it.
  582. >A while back, you had found yourself thrown into a strange, alien world ruled over by strange, alien ponies.
  583. >They unfortunately spoke a strange, alien language that you couldn't understand.
  584. >It's unfortunate because as it turns out—if you can't speak their language, you're considered no more than a lowly animal.
  585. >An animal that can't speak.
  586. >You're making this distinction because the dominant species in this place are animals that can speak.
  587. >Pony Land is confusing.
  588. >You lean against a nearby boulder, watching the rest of the zoo's inhabitants wander around the area.
  589. >You see wolves, raccoons, snakes, mice, and many more critters frolicking around in perfect harmony.
  590. >It's impressive how nearly every single one of them dutifully uphold the NAP.
  591. >You say nearly because one of the rabbits in this place is a real cunt.
  592. >Fucker bit you when you tried to pet him.
  593. >Lucy sits down on her haunches in front of you; although she still manages to tower above you.
  594. >Dat neck.
  595. >You absent-mindedly scratch the collar around your neck; it has a proximity sensor attached to make sure you don't escape.
  596. >You didn't always have this, but your equine overlords eventually got wise to your attempts to escape this place and sought to curb them before you could run too far.
  597. >Lucy notices you scratching your neck and leans in her own neck expectantly.
  598. >So you reach out your hand and rub along her neck; she hums appreciatively.
  599. "Hey Luce, you ever get stir crazy from being cooped up in here?"
  600. >She chuffs at you; that's probably a "yeah."
  601. >She gets it, man.
  602. >She gets it.
  603. "It's just…man, freaky pastel-coloured ponies everywhere, staring at you with them big ol' eyes…it's freaky."
  604. >She pulls back, looking at you with those auburn eyes.
  605. "Come to think of it—you kinda got them big ol' eyes, too, but you never speak like they do; why is that?"
  606. >She blinks.
  607. "Silent as always, eh? That's…you know what, that's cool with me."
  608. >You sigh.
  609. "But man—you know the worst thing about being the last of your kind?"
  610. >You briefly glance off to the side.
  611. "No pussy, am I right?"
  612. >Flicking your eyes back to her, she continues to stare back at you.
  613. "Although I guess in your case—you got no dick, huh?"
  614. >Staring back at you with them big ol' eyes.
  615. >Those beautiful auburn eyes…
  616. "…Hey, you ever get lonely?"
  617.  
  618. >Be Fluttershy.
  619. >Be campaigning to get the new primate who arrived in Equestria proper pony rights.
  620. >You call him Anonymous—Anon for short.
  621. >Why? It came to you in a dream.
  622. >He may not be able to speak your language, but you see real intelligence within his eyes.
  623. >And you think he deserves better than to be treated like an animal.
  624. >N-not because you think he's cute or anything.
  625. >For the time being, you are holding him within your animal sanctuary while you look into ways to convince the rest of Ponykind of his sapience.
  626. >Together with Twilight, you should be able to find a way to help him communicate with everypony.
  627. >Once you've established his sapience, you can help him get settled into Ponyville, help him get a house of his own.
  628. >But he'd always be welcome at the sanctuary if he wanted to come by and visit the friends he's made there.
  629. >He'd also be welcome at your house if he wanted to visit and maybe—
  630. >Oh, don't get ahead of yourself, Fluttershy; baby steps.
  631. >You walk on the path to Sweet Feather Sanctuary with Doctor Fauna; she's a fellow expert in animal care, and your key to help proving Anonymous's sapience.
  632. >Your word by itself isn't enough, but if you can get Fauna and Twilight behind you on this—you think you can find Anonymous a place of his own in Equestria.
  633. >"…And after thinking over it last night, I'm starting to come around on your argument—Anon is clearly more intelligent than he presents himself. It wouldn't be right to keep him here."
  634. >Your eyes shoot open.
  635. "O-oh! Does that mean…?"
  636. >"If you believe in Anon, then I see no further reason to keep him confined within this space. He's already shown quite clearly that he prefers to roam free thanks to his numerous escape attempts."
  637. "Thank you, Doctor!"
  638. >"But before we finalise anything, I'd like to take one last look at him before I sign off on this—just to make sure we aren't about to let loose a threat to Equestria's ecosystem."
  639. "Yes, of course!"
  640. >The two of you soon reach the sanctuary, but you don't see Anonymous anywhere.
  641. >"Well, here we are, but where could he be?"
  642. "Hm…"
  643. >Your ears flick upwards—you hear grunting sounds coming from somewhere; they sound like Anonymous, but they sound strained—is he in pain?
  644. >You also hear grunting from another animal, but you can't pinpoint who it belongs to at the moment; is Anonymous in a fight? Or…
  645. >"It sounds like he's behind that rock over there." Fauna points a hoof towards a boulder a small distance away.
  646. "R-right!"
  647. >The two of you gallop off to reach Anonymous.
  648. >You are the first to reach him, curious to see what has got him so agitated.
  649. >As he comes into view, you see that he's…oh my.
  650. >Fauna is the second to arrive, and the first to react.
  651. >"OH MY GOODNESS! ANON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT GIRAFFE?!"
  652.  
  653. ***
  654.  
  655. - 16 - (Trixie) - On the Trail With Trixie - (18/01/24)
  656. >"Onwards, my faithful assistant!"
  657. "Right…"
  658. >The two of you have been "onwards" for a while now.
  659. >You should've made it to town ages ago.
  660. >Yet you and Trixie have been wandering through a forest trail for a few hours.
  661. >It's been so long that you seem to have exited the "trail" part of the forest trail and are currently deep in the "forest" part.
  662. >You're not sure how you managed that; the two *have* been following a map.
  663. >At least you think you have; Trixie is the one who holds it within her magical grip, and she *insisted* on being the pathfinder during your journey.
  664. >She's also the wagon-puller.
  665. >So, what's your role in all of this? Looking pretty, you suppose.
  666. >You *are* supposed to be her assistant during her magic shows—assuming the two of you ever make it out of this forest.
  667. >"Keep pace, Anonymous! Our adoring fans await!"
  668. "Yeah, yeah…"
  669. >You pass by a tree that you think you've seen for the hundredth and twenty-first time.
  670. >It's a pretty good landmark—because it's right next to the tree that you think you've seen for the hundredth and thirty-fifth time.
  671. >Yeah, it took you a while to notice the other one.
  672. "Uh, hey, Trixie, mind if we take a break?"
  673. >Trixie stops, taking a good few moments to catch her breath.
  674. >"Let it be known that the Firm and Inexhaustible Trixie could keep going for days!"
  675. >She turns to you.
  676. >"But if my dear assistant needs a break, then we shall take one!"
  677. "Thanks."
  678. >The two of you stop in a small clearing.
  679. >Finally being granted some respite, you sit down, leaning against Trixie's wagon.
  680. >Trixie sits a small distance away from you, gazing intently at her map.
  681. >Now that you're able to cease your aimless wandering and catch your breath, you can analyse your situation and surroundings with a clearer head.
  682. >And you can't help but notice something strange…
  683.  
  684. "Um, Trixie?"
  685. >"Yes, my stalwart assistant?"
  686. "Are you holding that map upside down?"
  687. >She lowers her map and gasps at you.
  688. >"Trixie would never—"
  689. >Her eyes quickly flick back to the map.
  690. >She silently rotates it a few times, flipping it over an additional few more times for good measure.
  691. >After looking through it for a bit longer, she seems to come to a conclusion.
  692. >"ᴼʰ."
  693. >A brief silence hangs in the air, before Trixie clears her throat.
  694. >"Trixie…was testing you. Well done."
  695. >She briefly closes her eyes and nods self-assuredly.
  696. >You rub the back of your neck, chuckling lightly.
  697. "Always happy to pass one of your tests."
  698. >"Indeed! Now that that's sorted, we can forge on once more."
  699. >She quickly rises up, but you're not so eager to move on.
  700. "Hold on, Trixie. We should probably set up camp for the night. It's getting pretty late and I'm guessing there's no towns nearby."
  701. >"That may be the case, but…"
  702. "Hey, if nothing's attacked us during my 'test,' then I think we'll be safe for now."
  703. >She purses her lips in thought.
  704. "Plus, I'm tired."
  705. >Her eyes suddenly light up.
  706. >"Oh! Well then! If my tired assistant needs some shut-eye then Trixie…"—she yawns—"…is all too happy to oblige!"
  707. "Great."
  708. >Trixie passes by you as she begins to make her way into the wagon; you briefly stop her, resting a hand on her withers.
  709. "And perhaps your next test could be letting me share pathfinder duty with you, eh?"
  710. >She snerks.
  711. >"Yes…Trix—I think that would be best." She playfully smiles at you.
  712. >You smile back, and the two of you prepare to turn in for the night.
  713. >Just another day on the road.
  714.  
  715. ***
  716.  
  717. - 17 - (Applejack) - Standoff, Hats Off - (23/01/24)
  718. ["APPLEJACK, THE WIND IS CARRYING YOUR HAT, STOP STARING AT ME AND GO GET IT"]
  719. >"This town ain't big enough for the both of us, Sugarcube."
  720. >You and Applejack are engaged in an old-timey standoff in the middle of Ponyville.
  721. >The afternoon sun bears down on this once-peaceful town.
  722. >The ground underneath your feet is dustier than usual, and there's a strong wind kicking the dust up all around the area.
  723. >You swear you saw a tumbleweed roll by at some point.
  724. >Concerned bystanders linger at a safe distance; while some of them display clear countenances of worry, all of them know not to interfere with sacred Apple Family tradition.
  725. >A basket full of forbidden fruit stands by her side; you hold a basket of your own, filled with similarly cursed products.
  726. >For you see—this duel is fought not with guns, but with thrown strawberries.
  727. >Truly, to be pelted by the likes of those is a fate worse than death.
  728. >Or so Applejack says.
  729. >The winner of this duel will decide…uh…
  730. >To tell the truth—you're not exactly sure how this all started.
  731. >You think you tried to lowball her when it came to buying one of her apples?
  732. >Anyway, *how* it happened doesn't matter.
  733. >You're in a standoff now, and it's suitably epic, climactic, and atmospheric.
  734. >…Well, it was, until you notice a sudden change in your opponent's appearance.
  735. "Uh, AJ?"
  736. >"Tryin' to back out now, Anon? Ain't gonna work."
  737. "But…your hat…!"
  738. >"My what now?"
  739. >Applejack reaches her hoof up to the top of her head, finding only her mane.
  740. >"Wh-whuh?!" Her eyes shoot open.
  741. >The wind has blown off Applejack's trademark stetson.
  742. >It flutters in the breeze above Applejack, high enough to be tantalisingly out of reach for her.
  743. >"Ah! No! Not my hat!"
  744. >The wind blows it into a nearby alleyway.
  745. >"Anon! Help me get my hat back!" she shouts to you before charging after it.
  746. "Um, right."
  747. >Naturally, the duel was postponed until she got her hat back.
  748. >And, as it turns out, according to another Apple Family tradition—you get a discount on all Apple Family products if you save the hat of an Apple Pony from being blown away during a standoff, so the duel was called off.
  749. >They really thought of everything.
  750.  
  751. ***
  752.  
  753. - 18 - (Maud Pie) - The Rocky Diet - (04/02/24)
  754. ["Anon your doctor said if you eat any more greasy food you’re going to have a stroke. Put those cuts of meat down. Have some fruit or a muffin."]
  755. >As you sit cross-legged on a picnic blanket, you stare into the basket filled with an assortment of muffins.
  756. >A certain rockmare has taken it upon herself to setup a picnic for you in the hopes of changing your current diet.
  757. >Hey—maybe greasy pizza and mystery meat imported from the Griffon lands isn't the healthiest grub to sustain yourself with.
  758. >But damn if it isn't delicious.
  759. >That's not to say you aren't open to suggestions that diversify your refined palate—you are.
  760. >But…there's a particular, pebbly problem with the food that your pony pal is providing you with.
  761. "Maud."
  762. >Maud Pie raises her head to look at you.
  763. >"Yes?"
  764. "These…"—you briefly bite your lip—"muffins."
  765. >You take a muffin out of the basket, holding it within your hand.
  766. "They're…uh…"
  767. >"Nutritious."
  768. "Really…?"
  769. >"Muffins provide satisfactory portions of protein, fats, fibre, and sugar."
  770. "Well, maybe…"
  771. >You tilt the confection at an angle, looking at it thoroughly.
  772. "But Maud, I don't know if you noticed…"
  773. >You hold it out to her.
  774. "These muffins have rocks in them."
  775. >You hold something akin to a chocolate chip muffin in your hand, except instead of chocolate chips, there are tiny pebbles embedded into the dough.
  776. >The other muffins in the basket are the exact same.
  777. >Maud gives the muffin a brief glance before nodding at you.
  778. >"That's right."
  779. >You give her an confused look, before shaking your head.
  780. "Humans can't eat rocks."
  781. >"Have you tried?"
  782. "Wha—no. No I have not. I don't need to."
  783. >"Why not?"
  784. "Well, for one—my teeth aren't strong enough."
  785. >"But you haven't tried eating a rock."
  786. "Have you?"
  787. >"Yes."
  788. >You squint your eyes at her in doubt.
  789. "But doesn't that, like…hurt your teeth?"
  790. >"No."
  791. >She flashes you her pearly white horse teeth for a moment; they are surprisingly pristine.
  792. >"My teeth are fine."
  793. "Well, maybe it's fine for your teeth, but for me?"
  794. >You flash your own, substantially-weaker-looking teeth at her.
  795. "You see these chompers? Not a chance; they're meant for meat-eating, not pebble-crunching."
  796.  
  797. >She nudges a bowl towards you.
  798. >"If you don't want the muffins, try the fruit instead."
  799. "Maud…"
  800. >You look at the items contained with the bowl.
  801. >And you pick one up—it's a rock, obviously.
  802. >One that fits the palm of your hand.
  803. "These are just rocks—straight up stones."
  804. >"Rocks that you can eat."
  805. >Your mouth hangs partly agape.
  806. "B-but I don't get it; what's stopping you from eating Boulder, then?" You point to the tiny rock positioned next to Maud.
  807. >She glances at Boulder.
  808. >"Boulder's a pet rock."
  809. >She looks at the "fruit."
  810. >"Those are fruit rocks. They're rich in minerals."
  811. "Aren't all rocks 'rich in minerals?'"
  812. >"These ones are especially rich. The one you're holding right now is pure plagioclase."
  813. "Pure…okay."
  814. >Your brows furrow in confusion.
  815. >You tap the rock in your hand; it's hard and rough to the touch.
  816. "Yeah, this is absolutely not happening. Sorry."
  817. >She blinks at the rock, then glances at you.
  818. >"I could find other rocks."
  819. "For the last time, I am not eating these rocks."
  820. >"But—"
  821. "No means NO, Maud! Give it up."
  822. >She opens her mouth again, but decides to close it.
  823. >After a brief silence, she speaks up again.
  824. >"…Okay."
  825. "Good."
  826. >Sighing to yourself, you look back at the "muffin" basket and "fruit" bowl.
  827. >Along the blanket, you also see several other containers filled to the brim with stones.
  828. >Jesus, there are a *lot* of rock-based products here.
  829. "Where did you even get all of these rocks, anyway?"
  830. >"I spent all day gathering them."
  831. "Ah…"
  832. >Fuck, you really shouldn't have asked that.
  833. >Now your guilty conscience is beating your ass.
  834. >You look at Maud; to the untrained eye, she appears wholly unbothered.
  835. >But the closer you look, the more you can see how your rejection of rocks has affected her.
  836. >One of her ears is bent down at a slight angle.
  837. >Her mouth-line has a barely-perceivable quiver to it.
  838. >Her eyes stare downwards at the blanket, with her eyes being a little bit more lidded than usual.
  839. >You sigh.
  840. >God damn it.
  841. "Look—I'll eat one, okay?"
  842. >Her ear flicks upwards and her head rises ever-so-slightly.
  843. >"Okay."
  844. >You take one of the "fruit" in your hand, inspecting it thoroughly.
  845. >It is definitely a rock.
  846. >You see Maud looking at you; she's slightly leaning in towards you in what must be an expression of utmost expectation.
  847. "Well, here goes."
  848. >You hold it up to your open mouth and…
  849. >…
  850. "AH—FUCK!"
  851. >It went exactly how you thought it'd go.
  852.  
  853. ***
  854.  
  855. - 19 - (Trixie) - Trixie Cucks Herself [NSFW] - (08/02/24)
  856. [First line]
  857. >"Your marefriend will be honoured when she hears that her lover was stolen by the Great and Powerful Trixie~"
  858. >Trixie rides you cowgirl style while you lay on your back within the interior of her caravan.
  859. >She slams down onto your pole again and again, her inner walls milking you for all you're worth.
  860. >With the way she takes your meat all the way to the hilt—it's like watching a disappearing act running on a constant encore performance, with the "applause" being the waves of overwhelming pleasure that floods through every pore of your body.
  861. >Simply put—the sex is fantastic; she fucks like a manticore in heat.
  862. >You can already feel your own climax fast approaching.
  863. >But…
  864. "Uh, Trixie?"
  865. >She momentarily stops bouncing on your cock to answer you.
  866. >"Yes?"
  867. "…You're my marefriend."
  868. >She gives you a sultry wink.
  869. >"She is now~"
  870. >And just like that—her hips crash against yours once more.
  871. "No, I mean—ah!"
  872. >Her depths pump your length with an unparalleled ferocity; it's a struggle to even form complete sentences at this point.
  873. >"You mean aaahhh~?" She giggles.
  874. >She knows you're close; after all—she's the star of the show.
  875. >When it comes to preparing for an *explosive* grand finale, she is nonpareil.
  876. >Trixie props up your chin with a hoof, forcing you to gaze into her deep amethyst eyes.
  877. >And she *commands* you.
  878. >"Go on, let it *all* out. Cum for *Trixie!*"
  879.  
  880. >You can't resist any longer—you *have* to follow her every word.
  881. >So you grip her firm, yet shapely flanks with both hands, and you thrust upwards in some desperate hope to bury even *more* of yourself within her.
  882. >And with that—you burst.
  883. >"Hah~"
  884. >You fire off ropes and ropes of hot white batter deep inside her.
  885. >Each spurt has you trembling to your very core, with the pleasure almost being enough to make you pass out right then and there—but you hold on; you dare not disappoint the Great and Powerful Trixie.
  886. >You know that she's cumming too; her walls rhythmically pulse around you, contracting and constricting your length with an even fiercer—even more determined fervour than before. She *will* milk every last drop out of you; that's a guarantee.
  887. >The two of you pant and moan and sweat and hump against each other in shared orgasmic bliss—the sole stars of your very own stage play of sex.
  888. >But as each magician's show must have its curtain call, so too must your shared euphoria reach its end.
  889. >You soon feel your dick softening, completely drained of all its worth, while Trixie's walls reluctantly release their vice-grip on you.
  890. >Trixie leans backwards, letting your flaccid dick pop out of her pussy.
  891. >Humming to herself, she gazes down at the mess you two made, admiring her work.
  892. >Then she gives you a sultry smile.
  893. >"Nice work, stud~"
  894. >She gives you a peck on the cheek and then slides off your body.
  895. >After that, she turns to leave the caravan.
  896. >You reach out a hand towards her.
  897. "W-wait, Trixie…!"
  898. >She playfully swats your face with her tail, silencing you.
  899. >"Don't you worry now, stud. Trixie will be seeing you again soon."
  900. >She makes her way to the exit of the caravan and opens the door.
  901. >But before exiting, she gives you one last half-lidded look from behind her withers.
  902. >"And don't forget, you belong to *Trixie* now."
  903. >And with that, she leaves, shutting the door behind her and leaving you to bask in her lingering magnificence.
  904. "Wow…"
  905.  
  906. >After a few minutes, the door opens once more, and Trixie re-enters the caravan.
  907. >"Anon, I'm back!"
  908. >There's something different about her this time, though; she's no longer wearing her hat or cape, and her previously sultry expression has been replaced with a more casual, friendly one.
  909. "O-oh, Trixie, welcome back…"
  910. >She titters at the sound of your voice.
  911. >"My apologies for the wait, I—"
  912. >She cuts herself off by sniffing the air.
  913. >After a few moments of olfactory investigation, her nose wrinkles.
  914. >"What is this…?"
  915. >Still sniffing the air, she closes her eyes and follows whatever scent she's tracking, drawing her ever closer to you.
  916. >Once she stands in front of you, she opens her eyes and scans your naked, fluid-caked form lying on the floor.
  917. >She frowns.
  918. >"You…"
  919. >Her eyes narrow as she takes on an interrogative tone.
  920. >"Where is she?"
  921. "W-where's who?"
  922. >"Where is the mare that you just had sex with?"
  923. "What? But that was—"
  924. >She holds her forehoof up and dismissively bats it in your direction.
  925. >"No, no—don't bother. It's clear that whoever did this still has you wrapped around her hoof."
  926. >She saunters over to the area between your legs; crouching down, she positions her snout right up to your genitals and takes a long whiff.
  927. >"I can still smell her; the nerve…!"
  928. >She aggressively snorts, blasting your nuts with hot mare breath.
  929. >"If some mare thinks she can sneak into *my* caravan and steal *my* stallion, then she has another thing coming!"
  930. >She forcefully rubs her snout around your cock, working in some spirited sniffs and lively licks here and there.
  931. >The motions soon revitalise your member, slowly bringing it back to fighting form once more.
  932. >Trixie pulls back and looks upon your renewed vigour with a satisfied smirk.
  933. >"Hmph, it seems you still *some* energy left in you. Good."
  934. >With your meat once again at full-mast, she straddles your pelvis.
  935. >She gives you a proud, dominant grin as she grinds against your length once more.
  936. >"It looks like I'll have to remind you, Anon—you belong to *me!*"
  937. >You sigh in defeat as you mentally and physically prepare yourself for your second round with this ravenous mare.
  938. >You're going to add an addendum to your earlier description.
  939. >Trixie doesn't fuck like a manticore in heat.
  940. >She fucks like two.
  941.  
  942. ***
  943.  
  944. - 20 - (Pinkie Pie) - Pinkie Mous - (14/02/24)
  945. >This is it.
  946. >Your magnum opus.
  947. >The cupcake to surpass all cupcakes.
  948. >…Okay, that one might be taking it a smidge too far, considering your competition in the baking sector.
  949. >Still, you're confident that the cupcake you've crafted is the best one you've baked yet.
  950. >Triumphantly standing in Sugarcube Corner's kitchen, you lovingly gaze upon your masterwork on the kitchen counter.
  951. >Using banana loaf as the base, you had topped it with strawberry buttercream—appropriately coloured pink.
  952. >And on top of that—oooh boy—that's where the party *really* starts.
  953. >Chocolate drops, pretzels, wafers, macarons, meringue kisses…
  954. >Basically, any and every type of confection you could get your hands on—it was going on there.
  955. >You even stuck a lollipop in there.
  956. >In between all of these toppings, you squirted in a bit more icing to help hold it all together.
  957. >And at the very crown of your confectionary citadel, you carefully affixed a heart-shaped cookie—it *is* Hearts and Hooves day, after all.
  958. >Finally, with a generous layering of several different kinds of sprinkles on top of all of that, you get your finished product:
  959. >A veritable Jenga Tower of a cupcake.
  960. >It is magnificent.
  961. >And it's the perfect gift for a perfect friend.
  962. >You take the cupcake in your hand and covertly hide it behind your back; you plan on making this a surprise gift.
  963. >Then, you walk out of Sugarcube Corner's kitchen and into the storefront.
  964. >Pinkie Pie is working the shop counter; once she sees you approaching, she gives you a friendly wave.
  965. >You wave back with your free hand.
  966. >"Nonny! How's it looking back there?"
  967. "Good, good."
  968. >"Ooh—double good! Pinkie likes!"
  969. "How's it going on your end?"
  970. >"*Triple* good! Everything sells like hotcakes on Hearts and Hooves Day! *Especially* the hotcakes!"
  971. "Heh, glad to hear it."
  972. >You take the opportunity to move closer to her so that you stand on her side of the shop counter.
  973. >Noticing your proximity to her, she gives you an intrigued look.
  974. >"Hm? What's up, Nonny?"
  975. "Well, Pinkie…"
  976. >You crouch down on one knee to meet her at eye level.
  977. >Then, you slowly bring out the cupcake-holding hand that you've been hiding behind your back.
  978. "I'd like for you to have this." You hold out said hand to her.
  979. >"Ooh! A gift…?"
  980. >Her eyes drift down to your clasped confection, and her eyes widen.
  981. >"Ah…!" she gasps out.
  982. >There's the surprise you were expecting.
  983. >Her mouth hangs slightly agape, and her eyes quickly flit between your face and the towering cupcake in front of her.
  984. >Then, ever-so-slowly, she reaches out both forehooves towards the confection.
  985.  
  986. >She cups her hooves around the case with such a mindful tenderness that you wonder if she's afraid that the slightest mishandling would cause it to instantly crumble away.
  987. >"T-this…"
  988. >You smile at her.
  989. "Yeah, thought I'd get you something a little special for—well, being you."
  990. >Upon taking it off of your hands, she slowly brings it towards herself and wordlessly examines it.
  991. >After scanning it from top to bottom for a few moments, she mumbles out.
  992. >"I…I don't know what to say, Nonny…"
  993. >And then she continues to look it over in silence.
  994. >An uncomfortably long period of silence.
  995. >You expected her to be struck speechless, but not for this long.
  996. >The interior of the shop feels quieter than usual.
  997. >Not only that, but your blood feels colder too.
  998. >You reflexively do a small, nervous gulp; did you accidentally offend her with your gift?
  999. >Quickly scanning it from your end, it doesn't look like you dropped any pieces when you brought it from the kitchen.
  1000. >So if you offended her—it must be the idea of the cupcake itself.
  1001. >What if she considers it an unwarranted waste of precious ingredients?
  1002. >What if she's annoyed by you pestering her with it on company time?
  1003. >What if you've offended her so badly that she doesn't want to be friends with you any more?
  1004. >Ugh—say something! Apologise!
  1005. "Um…i-if you don't like it, then…"
  1006. >"No, Anon, I…"
  1007. >She manages to finally break her gaze away from the cupcake to look at you.
  1008. >Her eyes are watering slightly.
  1009. >"I love it. Of course I do." She tearfully smiles at you.
  1010. >Your no tearologist, but those look like happy tears.
  1011. >So…crisis averted and mission accomplished, right?
  1012. >You let out a sigh of relief as you stand back up, scratching your head.
  1013. "I'm…I'm really glad you like it. I, uh, spent a lot of time getting it right."
  1014. >She softly giggles as she thoughtfully examines the cupcake a bit more.
  1015. >"And it shows! But…wowie…"
  1016. >She sets the cupcake on the counter and wipes away some of her tears
  1017. >Then she suddenly leaps up and latches onto you, wrapping her hooves around your body in a great big hug.
  1018. "Whoa!" you gasp out in surprise.
  1019. >The added Pinkie weight thrust unto your body threatens to throw you off balance. But with great effort on your part, you manage to stabilise your footing.
  1020. >"Hehe!"
  1021. >After a little more giggling from her, she happily whispers into your ear.
  1022. >"Guess I'll have to start calling myself Pinkie Mous now, huh?"
  1023. "Pinkie Mous? Huh…"
  1024. >You raise an eyebrow.
  1025. >Why would she need to change her name?
  1026. >And why would she need to change it to something resembling yours?
  1027. "Wait…"
  1028. >Your eyes shoot open.
  1029. "Wait WHAT—"
  1030. >And that's how you learned how marriage cupcakes work.
  1031. >Lesson learned—you won't be making that mistake again.
  1032. >Not that your wife would let you, anyway.
  1033.  
  1034. ***
  1035.  
  1036. - 21 - (Cozy Glow) - Headpats for Chaos Cozy - (02/04/24)
  1037. >"AHAHAHA! How do you like me NOW?!"
  1038. "You've certainly gotten, um, big."
  1039. >Cozy Glow is standing on the front lawn of your house.
  1040. >And she *is* big.
  1041. >She's as tall as a building.
  1042. >You've heard of growth spurts, but jeez…
  1043. >But instead of looking like a filly hit with a growth ray: she bears the proportions of a fierce alicorn—horn included.
  1044. >She's clad in crimson battle armour, while her flowing baby blue mane and tail are adorned with charming cream-coloured ribbons—a curious contrast of cute and commanding.
  1045. >"BIG is only the BEGINNING! With all of this POWER at MY command—NOPONY can stop ME! AHAHAHA!"
  1046. >Her booming voice resounds throughout the local area and makes your ears ring.
  1047. >It also makes your house slowly rise up into the air behind you, and the coniferous trees around your home start sprouting pineapples.
  1048. >She has come to your house to gloat over her new-found power before she leaves to do what every power-mad alicorn dreams of doing—complete and total subjugation of the Equestrian nation.
  1049. >From what she's told you—this chaotic changeover of hers is all thanks to some kind of Groggy Boy's Bell, apparently.
  1050. >As her legal caretaker: you're happy that she's happy—
  1051. >But you also know that ruling over Equestria with an iron hoof is way too much responsibility for a little filly to handle—alicorn or otherwise.
  1052. >She still needs to finish school!
  1053. >Her eyes may be some kind of ungodly mix of red and yellow; her wings may have morphed into those of a demon's; and she may be sporting a long, sharp horn now…
  1054. >But deep down, she's still your adorable little Cozy Glow.
  1055. >So you grab a stepladder that was conveniently floating in the air close by, and you make your way over to her side.
  1056. >She doesn't notice you walk up to her, lost in her own victorious cackling as she is.
  1057. >You set your stepladder down, and climb up it; despite her height, you're able to reach up to her torso, which should be high enough for your needs.
  1058. >Carefully, you rub around the side of her barrel.
  1059. >"HUH?"
  1060. >Aaand there it is.
  1061.  
  1062. >You feel yourself being lifted upwards, held within a crimson aura.
  1063. >Floating higher and higher, you find yourself being glared at by a pair of cross-eyed crimson pupils as she holds you right in front of her face.
  1064. >"WHAT are you DOING?"
  1065. "This—"
  1066. >Her magical grip on you is thankfully slack, allowing you to lean forward, reaching up to her forehead…
  1067. >And you touch cold metal.
  1068. >Oh right—her metal headpiece.
  1069. >Well, this won't do.
  1070. >You cross your arms.
  1071. "Cozy, take off your helmet for me, please."
  1072. >She blinks at you a couple of times, her gaze softening.
  1073. >"Oh, okay."
  1074. >She telekinetically slides her headpiece over her horn and sets it down on the ground.
  1075. >After doing so, she furrows her brows.
  1076. >"Wait, why did I—"
  1077. >Before she can continue, you reach forward and rest your hand on her forehead.
  1078. >And you gently give this godly giant some headpats.
  1079. "There we go…"
  1080. >"H-hey!"
  1081. >You ruffle through her fur while she lets out a series of surprised squeaks that are most unbecoming for a would-be chaos empress.
  1082. >You know that your Cozy loves headpats above all else, and you'd wager that she loves them all the same whether she's a little pegasus filly or a giant demon alicorn.
  1083. >Your hypothesis is proven correct, as her squeaks soon turn into giggles.
  1084. >And then giggle-snorts.
  1085. >Her eyes suddenly shoot open.
  1086. >"N-no! Stop it!"
  1087. >She drops you.
  1088. >"Urk!"
  1089. >Horn aglow, she makes sure that you fall onto a soft pile of pillowy pineapples.
  1090. >Why pineapples? Who knows; at least they are indeed soft, despite appearances.
  1091. >Cozy looks down at you with an embarrassed blush on her cheeks.
  1092. >She then takes a few steps back, looking away.
  1093. >"Um, anyway, I-I need to go and…and take over Equestria! BYE—"
  1094. "Oh no you're not, missy."
  1095. >You stand up off of your chaotic cushion and place your hands on your hips.
  1096. >She glares directly at you in response to your disallowance.
  1097. >"WHAT did you SAY?!"
  1098. "No filly of mine is overthrowing the monarchy under *my* watch."
  1099. >She fiercely glowers at you, but you stand your ground.
  1100. >It feels like she's burning holes in you with those crimson eyes of hers.
  1101. >If it was anyone else but you—she probably *would* be burning holes in them.
  1102. >Eventually, her glare falters, and her mouthline quivers.
  1103. >"B-but…"
  1104. >Her face contorts into a pout.
  1105. >"But I waaannaaa."
  1106. >You shake your head.
  1107. "But I want never gets. You skipped breakfast today, didn't you?"
  1108. >"W-well yes but there's a good reason for that—"
  1109. "And you can tell me that reason *after* you've had your brekkies, alright?"
  1110. >She squints at you.
  1111. >You squint back.
  1112. >This squinty silence continues for a good few seconds.
  1113. >Then, her belly grumbles.
  1114. >She sighs and hangs her head.
  1115. >"Okay…"
  1116.  
  1117. >…
  1118. >"A-a-and then—and then that big meanie pants Grogar said that I had to work together with those two supervillains o-or else I'd be blown up like Sombra!"
  1119. "Wow, and Grogar was Discord, right? He really said that?"
  1120. >"Y-yeah! It was so scary! I-I only did what he asked b-because I didn't wanna get blown up! All I ever wanted was to make some friends…"
  1121. >You give her an understanding nod.
  1122. "I know. And you're an incredibly brave filly for managing to get through all of that, Cozy."
  1123. >"R-really? You really mean that?" She asks you through teary eyes and a sniffle.
  1124. "Without a doubt. I'm proud of you."
  1125. >"G-golly…"
  1126. >Cozy Glow had patiently sat on your front lawn while you went back in your house (which she had kindly set back down) to pour her a bowl of cereal with some milk.
  1127. >When you came back outside, you quickly realised something in your folly:
  1128. >She was still *really* big—and you had just poured her a bowl of regular-filly–sized cereal.
  1129. >But then she used chaos magic to make her portion chaos-alicorn–sized.
  1130. >It's as simple as that, you suppose.
  1131. >Still on your front lawn and now sitting on her haunches, she scoops her oversized spoon into her oversized bowl full of oversized cereal and takes an oversized bite.
  1132. >You turn your head to the side, looking towards the outskirts of your lawn.
  1133. >As is usually the case when a building-sized alicorn stops by your house for an extended length of time: several ponies have come by to gawk at their would-be conqueror—at a *very* safe distance, of course.
  1134. >Among those onlookers is Twilight Sparkle, who holds both notepad and pencil within her magic; she bears a pensive frown on her face as she records Cozy's confession.
  1135. >"Discord…" she quietly grumbles to herself.
  1136. >You look back to Cozy as she finishes her oversized gulp.
  1137. "So what happened next?"
  1138. >"Well, then he sent us to this really cold mountain…"
  1139. [Continued at Chaos Aglow, line 108: https://ponepaste.org/9981 ]
  1140.  
  1141. ***
  1142.  
  1143. - 22 - (Smolder) - The Pass - (03/04/24)
  1144. [https://derpibooru.org/images/1956839 ]
  1145. >You're currently in the courtyard of the School of Friendship.
  1146. >And right now—it's recess.
  1147. >Walking along the courtyard path, you take in the peaceful sights and sounds of the school:
  1148. >The various plants lining the paths, both potted and planted;
  1149. >The fountain in the middle of the yard, jetting several streams of water into the air;
  1150. >Students sitting on the benches, reading their books, completely silent aside from the occasional flip of the page—
  1151. >Smolder suddenly landing in front of you, having leapt from a second story windowsill.
  1152. >She blocks your path as she proudly stands in front of you with her hands on her hips; you see that she has a small leather bag slung around her shoulder.
  1153. >"Hey, Teach. Nice day today, right?" She smiles at you innocuously.
  1154. >You give the orange dragoness a brief glance.
  1155. >You know why she's stopped you.
  1156. >And it's certainly not because of how well the day is going.
  1157. >She's stopped you for the same reason that she stops you every day.
  1158. "Smolder, I'm not gonna bang you."
  1159. >She raises her claws in surprise.
  1160. >"Whoa—I didn't even ask."
  1161. "But you were going to."
  1162. >"Nah, nah."
  1163. "What *were* you going to say, then?"
  1164. >She twirls a finger about in the air.
  1165. >"Was just talking about how nice today was, y'know?"
  1166. "Uh huh."
  1167. >"Yeah! It's nice!"
  1168. "So you keep saying."
  1169. >"Nice, and hot, and thick…and it smells good…and…uh…"
  1170. >A bead of sweat falls down her brow as her eyes flit every which way.
  1171. >One such way just so happens to be where your crotch resides—and it's also where her eyes linger.
  1172. >"Penis."
  1173. >You have to hand it to her—she lasted a whole second longer than her usual average before relapsing into raunchy remarks.
  1174. >Wordlessly, you turn around and walk the other way.
  1175. >"W-wait!"
  1176. >Smolder dashes in front of you, wearing a confident smile.
  1177. >"We're not done yet."
  1178. "Do I have to write *another* report to your parents regarding your sexual misconduct?"
  1179. >Despite your warning, her smile doesn't falter for a moment.
  1180. >"Nah, nothing like that. Just hold on a minute, would ya…?"
  1181. >You cross your arms as she digs around in her bag; she soon pulls out a rectangular piece of plastic.
  1182. >"Check this out."
  1183. >She shows it off to you.
  1184. >At the top, you read:
  1185. >'INFINITE SEX PASS'
  1186. >You recoil in reflexive, yet-carefully-restrained disgust.
  1187. "E-excuse me?"
  1188. >She chuckles.
  1189. >"You can read, can't ya? Read the rest, Nonny."
  1190. >Gingerly, you read onwards—and your blood runs colder with each consecutive line.
  1191. >'NAME: SMOLDER'
  1192. >'AGE: 18'
  1193. >'OCCUPATION: GIRL'
  1194. >'THIS PASS PERMITS THE HOLDER TO SOLICIT AND INITIATE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH ANY INDIVIDUAL THAT RESIDES IN EQUESTRIA'
  1195. >'OFFICIALLY SANCTIONED BY PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE OF CANTERLOT'
  1196.  
  1197. >That last part makes you blink in surprise a few times.
  1198. >You can even see Twilight's signature right by the bottom, accompanied by an official-looking seal.
  1199. "Officially sanctioned by—?"
  1200. >You shake your head.
  1201. >No, this can't be real.
  1202. "Where did you get this forged?"
  1203. >"Forged?"
  1204. >She briefly tilts her head, before her smile widens.
  1205. >"Oh no no no—this bad boy right here? It's real. And you know what that means, right?"
  1206. >Her eyes slowly and deliberately travel down your body, soon resting upon your crotch.
  1207. >She sensually licks her lips.
  1208. >"It means that it's finally time for me to get that hot monkey dick~"
  1209. >She takes a confident step forward.
  1210. >You take a hesitant step back.
  1211. "You…you're lying."
  1212. >You take another hesitant step back.
  1213. >She stays right where she is, smirking.
  1214. >"Heh. Tell him, Twilight."
  1215. "Twi—"
  1216. >You take another hesitant step back—and bump into something.
  1217. >"Yeah, it's authentic, Anon," said something says.
  1218. "Gah!"
  1219. >You quickly turn around, and there she is—Headmare Twilight herself; she innocently smiles up at you.
  1220. >"I'm the one who gave it to her," Twilight adds.
  1221. "Why? Why the fuck would you give her this?"
  1222. >"Smolder was falling behind on her grades, so I thought I'd give her a little incentive to catch up."
  1223. >"And I *aced* every single exam this school threw at me," Smolder proudly states as she walks around to your front. "Rarity's gem crafting, Dash's History of the Wonderbolts, Pinkie's cooking…"
  1224. >She leans in, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
  1225. >"*Especially* Fluttershy's Biology test."
  1226. >Twilight excitedly nods.
  1227. >"Yep! One dragon passing all of her exams—one lifetime sex pass for her! Smolder becomes our school's star pupil, and the Dragon Lands love us! I even surprise myself sometimes, ehehe."
  1228. "L-lifetime…?"
  1229. >You give her the best surprised Pikachu face you can muster.
  1230. "That's all I am to you—an incentive to boost your school's relations with the dragons? You do realise that this gives her the free reign to rape any creature she pleases, right?"
  1231. >Twilight's eyes suddenly widen.
  1232. >"R-rape? Um…"
  1233. >The gears slowly start to turn in Twilight's head.
  1234. >An uncertain frown forms on her face.
  1235. >Just as she is (hopefully) about to say the magic words which will secure your freedom, Smolder walks up to her and pats her on the back.
  1236. >"Nah, don't worry, Twilight. I'm a responsible dragon."
  1237. >She rests one claw on her own chest, while her other claw waggles her pass in the air.
  1238. >"I only plan on using this pass on prudish humans."
  1239. >A reassured smile soon settles on Twilight's face.
  1240. >"Oh! You had me worried for a moment there, Anon! Phew!"
  1241. >Twilight lets out a deep sigh of relief while you reevaluate just how much you mean to this mare.
  1242.  
  1243. >"Well that settles that, then! Have fun, you two!"
  1244. >With a happy wave, Twilight trots off, leaving you alone with your scaly soon-to-be rapist.
  1245. "Damn you Twilight! Get back here!"
  1246. >You try to stomp after her—but you can't.
  1247. >Because something *very* strong is gripping your arm with draconic determination, preventing you from getting very far.
  1248. >You don't need to look in her direction to know that it's Smolder, ready to reap the benefits of her "Infinite Sex Pass."
  1249. >Said grip soon travels up your arm as she fiercely interlocks her claw with your hand, eliciting a girlish giggle from her.
  1250. >And as if her hold on your hand wasn't enough—she wraps her tail around your leg closest to her.
  1251. >"Come on, Nonny~" she coos as she drags you along the path.
  1252. "W-wait, Smolder. We can't."
  1253. >She huffs indignantly.
  1254. >"Do I need to flash you my pass again? Or do I need to flash you something else—"
  1255. "No, you don't understand. Even if you have a pass, you're still underage. I could end up on The List for this."
  1256. >"Uh, 'The List?'"
  1257. >She stops leading you along and raises an eyebrow at you, letting you explain.
  1258. "Y-yeah. You see, The List draws attention to those who have strayed from path of virtue. It sets a clear example to all of us so that we may not fall victim to our baser urges and sink into depravity."
  1259. >You clear your throat before continuing.
  1260. "Such depravity includes the initiation of a sexual relationship between a teacher and his student—between an adult human and a young dragoness—such deviant behaviour would be improper. Immoral, even."
  1261. >She scoffs.
  1262. >"So, what—is this a List of Individuals with Taste?"
  1263. >She resumes her lead on you as she takes you up to the front door of one of the main school buildings.
  1264. >"How about this—I'm gonna put you in *my* list. It's tight, sweltering, and has been waiting a painfully long time for a taste of human dick."
  1265. >She opens the door, and gives you a brief glance.
  1266. >"That list is my pussy, just in case you didn't get it."
  1267. >She leads you into the building.
  1268. "B-but The List…The List! You're too young!"
  1269. >"Too young? The pass says I'm eighteen, remember?"
  1270. >She gives you another brief glance, this time with a smirk.
  1271. >"Wink." She gives you a sly wink.
  1272. >Shell-shocked as you are by the approaching debauchery to come, you are unable to resist her grip as she takes you into the school corridors.
  1273. >The corridors are packed with other students; Smolder confidently leads you right through the centre of the crowd.
  1274. >"Make way, nerds! Sex haver coming through!" She flashes her card at each and every student.
  1275. >She struts proudly with you in tow, and the crowd disperses where she goes.
  1276. >You see some students saluting her, while others bow in reverence.
  1277. >God damn teenagers.
  1278. >She eventually drags you into an empty supply closet.
  1279. >And you spend the rest of the school period—
  1280. >Fucking Smolder.
  1281.  
  1282. ***
  1283.  
  1284. - 23 - (Pinkie Pie) - Pinkie's Permanence - (22/04/24)
  1285. [https://derpibooru.org/images/937210 ]
  1286. >Your name is Pinkie Pie—
  1287. >And you are here to bounce!
  1288. >Bounce on the bouncy castle made of yummy gummy atop the clouds of cotton candy!
  1289. >Everything here is super delicious! *Dreamily* delicious—if you know what I mean!
  1290. >And that's not even the best part!
  1291. >The *best* part is that Anon is here, too!
  1292. >He's bouncing on the bouncy castle; you're bouncing on the bouncy castle—and you're both having a swell time!
  1293. >And that's not all!
  1294. >Do you know what the best part of bouncing in a bouncy castle made of yummy gummy is?
  1295. >You can bounce on it…AND you can eat it!
  1296. >So…
  1297. >You do!
  1298. >You bounce super high into the sky, and then as you descend back to the gummy goodness—you face straight downwards and open wiiide…
  1299. >And then you take a big ol' bite!
  1300. >And then another!
  1301. >And then another!
  1302. >And so on!
  1303. >You taste lime, blueberry, cherry, raspberry, blackcurrant, blurpleberry…
  1304. >It's all super duper delicious!
  1305. >But—oh.
  1306. >It's *all* super duper delicious—you ate it all.
  1307. >Now you have no bouncy castle.
  1308. "Aw…"
  1309. >"It's alright, Pinkie," Anon says. "We may have lost the bouncy castle, but we still have each other."
  1310. >!!!
  1311. >He's right!
  1312. "You're right!"
  1313. >Anon—in all of his rightly rightness—sits down on the cloud and gently pats his lap while smiling at you.
  1314. >And you know what that means!
  1315. >You spring into the air, performing a triple backflip into a quadruple alternating side roll into a quintuple front flip—
  1316. >And, with your Pinkie-trademark giggle, you gracefully land head-first onto Anon's lap.
  1317. >Okay, so you *might* have only been able to do those Dashie-approved tricks because this is a dream world and all…
  1318. >But you're getting *pretty* good at doing the exact same thing in real life, too!
  1319. >Oh! You're lying on Anon's lap now.
  1320. >Using one of those hands of his, he slowly rubs your belly—it makes you feel super tickly and giggly.
  1321. >While he rub-a-dub-dubs, you're looking ahead, so you can see the delicious-looking cotton candy clouds that lie underneath the both of you.
  1322. >You *kinda* want to know what the clouds taste like…
  1323. >But you also know that you can't do that—or else you'll fall!
  1324. >Hm…
  1325. >Does it hurt if you fall onto the ground in a dream?
  1326. >What if you just bounce straight back up—
  1327. >*Scritch scritch*
  1328. "Oooh…"
  1329. >Nonny…
  1330. >He's doing that thing with his fingers—
  1331. >The thing where he rubs the spot just behind your ears.
  1332. >And it feels so good…
  1333. >Really good.
  1334. >Really relaxing.
  1335. >You could…you could fall asleep to this.
  1336. >But hey, wait a minute, aren't you already in a dream?
  1337. >What happens if you fall asleep while sleeping?
  1338. >Do you unsleep? Or do you double sleep?
  1339. >Sleep sleep?
  1340. >Well whatever it is, you're about to find out.
  1341. >Because you can feel your eyes drooping shut as you…mm…
  1342. >Sleepy… Dreamy sleepy…
  1343.  
  1344. >*BEEP BEEP BEEP*
  1345. "Whuh—whuh—whoa!"
  1346. >That's not sleep—that's not sleep at all!
  1347. >That's the ring-a-ding-ding of the alarm clock zippity zapping your body like that one time you tried to eat a zap apple right off the tree!
  1348. >Alarm clock, electric shock—you're back in the realm of the waking!
  1349. >You give the clock a quick *bap* to bop the *beeps!*
  1350. >Phew…
  1351. >What time is it?
  1352. >Pinkie's peepers—exit stage left…
  1353. "Six…six a.m., huh?"
  1354. >That's what the clock reads, anyway!
  1355. "Whew! What a night, right, Nonny?"
  1356. >You wiggle around to face the other side of the bed and—
  1357. >Anon's not there.
  1358. >Anon's not anywhere.
  1359. >It's just you in your bed.
  1360. "Anon?"
  1361. >Where did he go?
  1362. >He was here just a moment ago! And he was right there in your dream!
  1363. >Not only that, but you were cuddling with him right when you both went to sleep—you're sure of it!
  1364. >Unless…oh no…
  1365. >Was that part just a dream as well?
  1366. >If Anon isn't here…what if that means he was just a figment of your imagination this entire time?
  1367. >The more you think on it—the more it makes sense.
  1368. >When you think about how he'd always greet you with a smile no matter when or where you'd surprise him;
  1369. >How he'd always call you "best pony" whenever the two of you were together;
  1370. >Or how he'd always be able to make time to play with you, regardless of what he was doing—
  1371. >You realise that it was all so very convenient for you. Too convenient.
  1372. >How could somepony like that ever truly exist?
  1373. >Of course. Anon was never real. How silly of you to think otherwise.
  1374. >It all makes perfect sense now.
  1375. >And yet…and yet…
  1376. >The tears won't stop flowing.
  1377.  
  1378. >You are Anonymous, and you are currently finishing up in the bathroom after your bladder had suddenly phoned home for an early morning emergency.
  1379. >You had heard the ringing of the alarm clock a few moments ago, so it must have just passed six.
  1380. >With the reservoir now blissfully drained, you step out into the hallway and make your way back to bed.
  1381. >As you draw closer to your bedroom door, you hear a curious noise coming from the other side—
  1382. >It's the sound of sad sniffling.
  1383. >Opening your bedroom door, you step inside your room and take a look around.
  1384. >You see Pinkie Pie sitting on your bed, and—ah.
  1385. >She's in full "Pinkamena" mode—as you've come to know it.
  1386. >Her hair is straightened; her colours are dulled; and you can hear a sad saxophone mysteriously playing from somewhere that you can't see.
  1387. "Pinkie?"
  1388. >Her ears perk up as she jerks her head up to look at you.
  1389. >"N-nonny?"
  1390. "You alright? Just went to, uh…"
  1391. >You trail off as you see her pupils grow to shaky saucepans while her mouth morphs into a wobbly waveform.
  1392. >"Nonny!"
  1393. >Your body instinctively tenses at her voice—and that's the only reaction you're able to make before the pink cannonball herself suddenly slams into your front and knocks you flat onto your butt.
  1394. >Pinkie stands over your lain form, her blue eyes awash with tears.
  1395. >"ImissedyousomuchIthoughtIlostyouforeverandIwassosadbecauseyouweren'ttherewhenIwokeupandIthoughtyouwerejustadreamand—"
  1396. >Unable to get a word in, you simply smile and nod at this silly pony.
  1397. >She does this every single time that she wakes up without you.
  1398.  
  1399. ***
  1400.  
  1401. - 24 - (Trixie) - The Cute and Marketable Trixie - (23/04/24)
  1402. >You're currently hanging out with Trixie in her wagon.
  1403. >Earlier today, she had purchased a discount spellbook from a fishy looking shop that was at the far end of a really shady alleyway within a village called Seedy Shoals.
  1404. >Her eyes have been glued to this book ever since it had entered her possession.
  1405. >Needless to say, you have a bad feeling about this.
  1406. >Oh, but it's not because of the village; the town was very pleasant and the locals were friendly.
  1407. >It turns out that Seedy Shoals is a fishing wharf most famously known for how its residents primarily use seed for their bait.
  1408. >The ponies that live there build their homes high and close together, which leaves the narrow alleyways wedged in between devoid of most natural light—and thus covered in shade.
  1409. >The shop at the end of the alleyway was incredibly fishy looking—because it was quite literally shaped like a giant carp; it sold souvenirs.
  1410. >All in all, a very pleasant trip.
  1411. >No, the thing that set off several warning bells in your mind—
  1412. >Was the fact that the spellbook was on a discount.
  1413. >Never trust a spellbook that's half-off.
  1414. >Trixie clearly didn't get the memo, though; she peruses the pages with an intense fervour—no doubt searching for ideas relating to her future magic shows.
  1415. >Every so often, you catch her mumbling something about "mind-blowing tricks that will wow everypony in Equestria!"
  1416. >Meanwhile, you sit adjacent to her, reading your own—substantially less dodgy—book about fashionable wizard cloaks.
  1417. >It's all interesting stuff; why, just now, you have learned that ponies who decorate their cloaks with stars tend to be—
  1418. >"This!" Trixie suddenly exclaims.
  1419. "Huh?"
  1420. >You look up from your book.
  1421. >Trixie has a wide, confident smile plastered across her face.
  1422. >It's the exact kind of smile that preludes her doing something incredibly rash and short-sighted.
  1423. >You know this fact precisely from all of the times that you've hung out with her.
  1424. >"This is the one."
  1425. "The…'one?'"
  1426. >She vigorously nods and sets her spellbook down, striking a wide, confident pose.
  1427. >Her horn lights up.
  1428. >"Stand back, Anonymous! I am about to…*amaze!*"
  1429. "U-uh, right."
  1430. >Because you are a tall human in a compact caravan: you instead sit back against the wall of the wagon as far away from Trixie as you can, holding up your fashion magazine to shield your eyes.
  1431. >A loud flash of magenta light soon booms outwards from Trixie and fills the wagon; the accompanying noise floods the wagon like thunder and deafens your ears for a few moments.
  1432. >As your senses return to you, you lower your magazine and look back to Trixie's location—
  1433. >And you see Trixie—sort of.
  1434. >No longer posed for magical mischief, she now stands up perfectly straight—and perfectly still; she almost appears statuesque in posture.
  1435. >And that immediately raises a red flag for you; there's no way that Trixie would be able to sit still and stay silent after successfully casting a showy spell that she had hyped up just moments prior.
  1436.  
  1437. >More to the point—there's something else that is *off* about the mare in front of you.
  1438. >As you shuffle closer to her, you realise why.
  1439. >For starters: instead of being made up of horsey hair—her mane is now one long, solid curl of light blue fabric; her tail is much the same way.
  1440. >Her facial features are fixed in a state of perpetual pompousness; her eyes are half-lidded for the long term, while her smug smirk is steadfast.
  1441. >Her fur is much shorter than usual; emboldened by curiosity, you reach out and gingerly caress it—
  1442. >And you feel not the flowing, immaculately groomed fur that you've known Trixie to have—but rather the short synthetic stubble of a manufactured product.
  1443. >There's now no doubt in your mind; while this plushie certainly does bear a lifelike resemblance to the mare you know…
  1444. >This isn't Trixie—this is an inanimate object that looks almost exactly like her!
  1445. >Perhaps this was a teleportation spell of some kind, and she swapped herself out with a decoy?
  1446. >But if that's the case, then where did the real Trixie go?
  1447. "Trixie?" you call out. "Where did you disappear to?"
  1448. >You let the words hang in the air for a few moments, fully expecting the real Trixie to suddenly pop out from one of the prop chests with a proud "huzzah!"
  1449. >But she doesn't.
  1450. >It's strange, she's nowhere to be seen, yet you can still *feel* her presence somewhere within this wagon—call it a gut instinct.
  1451. >But all you can see at the moment is the Trixie plush standing in front of you.
  1452. "Aw, come on, Trixie."
  1453. >You sigh as you poke the plushie's face.
  1454. "What am I even supposed to do with this thing? It's so tacky."
  1455. >The words leave your lips—and a peculiar tension quickly fills the wagon; it feels akin to an intense, indignant enmity.
  1456. >As the seconds drag on, you get the distinct feeling that this tension is coming from somewhere in particular.
  1457. >Specifically—you think that it's coming from the plushie.
  1458. >Sure, the plushie isn't actually *doing* anything, but you can still sense a bone-chilling bellicosity emanating from that sempiternal smirk upon its face.
  1459. >Can toys feel murderous hatred?
  1460. >You remember a few movies from back home that covered the concept.
  1461. >Of course, they were just movies—fictional fancies fabricated to entertain idle minds; you know that in the real world, toys can't come to life and shank you while you sleep.
  1462. >Then again, this is Equestria: a magical land filled with equally magical spells.
  1463. >Which means that it's not entirely out of the realm of possibility that a particularly ticked-off toy might wait until the cover of night to exact their righteous revenge on a blabby human—
  1464. >So, uh, you should probably apologise—you know, just to be safe.
  1465. "Um, sorry. I didn't mean anything by it."
  1466. >You awkwardly rub your nape as you express your sincerest regrets towards an inanimate object.
  1467. "It's just that I prefer the real deal, you know?"
  1468.  
  1469. >Your words of remorse…
  1470. >Have the exact opposite effect; the eerie tension in the room rapidly rises to the point that it's almost palpable.
  1471. >Forget the cover of night, you're starting to worry that this Trixie plush is going to make an attempt on your life right now—
  1472. >The plushie suddenly falls onto its side with a light thud.
  1473. "Uh."
  1474. >Did it move on its own? Or did you end up jostling the wagon in the midst your wild wool-gathering and thus send it off-balance?
  1475. >Well, whatever the case may be—the plushie is lying helplessly on its side now.
  1476. >Despite your earlier misgivings, you feel bad for it; Trixie deserves to stand upright—facsimile or not.
  1477. >As you make to realign the faux-showmare, you notice something peculiar attached to its withers—
  1478. >It's a line of string that's connected to a ring; it reminds you of the pull-cords on those talking dolls that were all the rage back in the day.
  1479. >Even the name "pull-cord" makes you want to…pull it.
  1480. >You straighten the plushie's stance—and you can no longer hold back your curiosity.
  1481. >Looping a finger through the ring that makes up the pull-cord, you pull the string as far as it will go—and then you let go.
  1482. >A scratchy, stormy voice immediately thunders out from the plushie.
  1483. >"—and I'll show you who the real deal is because I—!"
  1484. "Wh-whoa!" You recoil.
  1485. >That voice—it sounded like Trixie's!
  1486. >Was that…?
  1487. >Did she…?
  1488. >Were you…?
  1489. >Oh.
  1490. >Taking a good few moments to compose yourself, you pull the cord again.
  1491. >"—can you hear me? Ah! Do I really sound like that?"
  1492. >The voice that comes out of the plushie sounds slightly distorted—as if it was being filtered through a voice box.
  1493. >But that air of pomp that intones every word she utters can belong to no other mare.
  1494. "T-trixie? Is that you?"
  1495. >She doesn't answer.
  1496. >Because—oh, right—you need to pull the cord again.
  1497. >So you do.
  1498. >"Indeed, it is I! Trixie herself, having taken new form!"
  1499. >Oh, she's taken new form alright.
  1500. >Putting aside the fact that you have just been insulting the "real deal" right in front of her face, you address a more pressing matter:
  1501. "What have you done? And why?"
  1502. >You pull the cord once more, waiting on her answer.
  1503. >"This is all thanks to a spell from that spellbook, it—"
  1504. >Pull.
  1505. >"—when they gaze upon my glorious visage, the crowd will—"
  1506. >Pull.
  1507. >"—the spell was quite simple, really. The incantations were—"
  1508. >Pull.
  1509. >"—and now my efforts have born fruit, for now I am—ahem."
  1510. >You take a dramatic pause—and then you pull.
  1511. >"For now I am the Cute and Marketable Trixie! Hahaha!"
  1512. >Pull.
  1513. >"Hahaha!"
  1514. >Pull.
  1515. >"Haha…hah!"
  1516. >Pull.
  1517. >"Hah…hah…"
  1518. >Pull.
  1519. >"…"
  1520. >Pull.
  1521. >"…Anon."
  1522. >Pull.
  1523. >"Help."
  1524. >You sigh.
  1525. >Just another day on Trixie's wild ride.

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