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Bench Fine

By Glimbrain
Created: 2023-09-29 15:17:05
Updated: 2023-10-22 07:58:15
Expiry: Never

  1. 1.
    Synopsis: Anon just wants to sit on his goddamn bench.
  2. 2.
     
  3. 3.
    >You are Anon, currently in Ponyville Park.
  4. 4.
    >Relaxing on a bench, the sun is shining, the skies are clear.
  5. 5.
    >It's a truly wonderful day.
  6. 6.
    >Nothing could ruin—you notice Lyra trotting up to you.
  7. 7.
    >She gives you her trademark grin.
  8. 8.
    >"Hey Anon!"
  9. 9.
    "Hey Lyra, wonderful weather we're having."
  10. 10.
    >"Yeah."
  11. 11.
    >A bit of time passes.
  12. 12.
    >"So."
  13. 13.
    >A bit more time passes.
  14. 14.
    >"You're sitting on my bench."
  15. 15.
    "Oh, well there's enough room for two."
  16. 16.
    >You scooch over to give her some room.
  17. 17.
    >She continues to just stare at you.
  18. 18.
    >"That's my bench."
  19. 19.
    "…Alright. If it bothers you that much, I'll find somewhere else to sit."
  20. 20.
    >"You have to pay the bench fine."
  21. 21.
    "The what?"
  22. 22.
    >"The bench fine, for sitting on my bench without asking."
  23. 23.
    >You want to call her out on her bullshit, but you don't actually know how Equestrian laws work.
  24. 24.
    >Twilight gave you a few books to read on the subject but you ain't got time for that nerd shit.
  25. 25.
    >In hindsight, you should've figured this'd eventually bite you on the ass.
  26. 26.
    >…You might as well get this settled now. God knows these kinds of things will always get worse if you leave it.
  27. 27.
    "Alright, fine. What do I owe you?"
  28. 28.
    >"100 bits."
  29. 29.
    >One hundred fucking—
  30. 30.
    "Lyra I don't have that kind of—"
  31. 31.
    >"—O-or, or you could give me a kiss."
  32. 32.
    >So that's her game, huh.
  33. 33.
    "…Fine, come on up."
  34. 34.
    >Letting out a giddy squeak, she immediately hops up to the spot beside you on the bench.
  35. 35.
    >Turning to face you, she closes her eyes, and puckers her lips in an exaggerated manner, eagerly anticipating your next action.
  36. 36.
    >You lean in…
  37. 37.
    >And give her a quick, chaste peck on the cheek.
  38. 38.
    "There, fine paid."
  39. 39.
    >Slowly, she opens her eyes, disappointment clear on her features.
  40. 40.
    >She stares past you for a few moments, before speaking up again.
  41. 41.
    >"Y-you're still sitting on my bench."
  42. 42.
    "So?"
  43. 43.
    >"That's a repeat offence."
  44. 44.
    >Leaning into your side, she continues.
  45. 45.
    >"300 bits. Or…"
  46. 46.
    >She begins to trail a hoof up your leg, across your thigh, towards your—
  47. 47.
    "NOPE!"
  48. 48.
    >Quickly throwing her minty body off your person, you make to sprint out of the park.
  49. 49.
    >"W-wait! The fine! Y-you have to pay the—BON BON GET HIM!"
  50. 50.
    >A blood-curdling battle cry catches your attention as a cream-coloured mare launches herself out of a nearby tree, attempting to hit you with an elbow drop.
  51. 51.
    >It barely misses you.
  52. 52.
    "Holy FUCK."
  53. 53.
    >Redoubling your efforts, you absolutely bolt it back to your house, not looking back.
  54. 54.
    >As soon as you make it back home you barricade your front door, just to be safe.
  55. 55.
    >Taking a moment to catch your breath, you make a resolution to yourself.
  56. 56.
    >You are never sitting on a bench ever again.
  57. 57.
    >Fucking Lyra.
  58. 58.
    >Fucking BENCHES.

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