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/glim/ shorts

By Glimbrain
Created: 2023-11-22 10:59:50
Updated: 2024-02-14 22:11:44
Expiry: Never

  1. Short greens that I wrote up for /glim/ or otherwise revolve around Starlight Glimmer, sorted by date created.
  2. Encased in [square brackets] are the prompts that inspired them, if any.
  3.  
  4. ***
  5.  
  6. Table of Contents
  7.  
  8. NSFW stories will be marked with [NSFW]
  9.  
  10. - 1 - Starlight's Society
  11. - 2 - Maybe I can be your Twilight
  12. - 3 - Judgement NUT [NSFW]
  13. - 4 - The Glim Bump
  14. - 5 - Magical Mix-up
  15. - 6 - The Cutie Unmarked Crusaders
  16. - 7 - Marry the 'light
  17. - 8 - Sleeping In
  18. - 9 - Glim Inhibitors Off
  19. - 10 - Glimmy
  20. - 11 - Starlight the Christmas Light
  21. - 12 - Tinsel Time
  22. - 13 - New Year's Starlight
  23. - 14 - Taking Care of a Sneezing Starlight
  24. - 15 - Glim Boop Three (Dee)
  25. - 16 - A Starlit Pier in Manehattan
  26. - 17 - Book of Magic
  27. - 18 - Scribbles of Software
  28. - 19 - make_glimmy_relax.cc
  29. - 20 - Stop! Glimmer Time!
  30. - 21 - Glim in the Chair
  31. - 22 - Artificially Glim
  32. - 23 - Peacecock [NSFW]
  33. - 24 - The Pick-me-up
  34. - 25 - Bump Bump Bump [NSFW]
  35. - 26 - Hearts and Kites
  36.  
  37. ***
  38.  
  39. - 1 - Starlight's Society - (13/10/23)
  40. [Image of Starlight in clown makeup + first line.]
  41. >"—How about another joke? What do you get when you cross a mentally ill unicorn, with a society that abandons her and treats her like trash?!"
  42. >Starlight stands in front of you, floating a shotgun, ready to do something drastic.
  43. >She's wearing clown makeup.
  44. "Sounds like you get a mare who needs her cuddles."
  45. >"We live in a society, Anonymous! Cuddles can't—"
  46. >Closing the distance, you quickly embrace her.
  47. >She's caught off guard, but she slowly begins to hum in appreciation.
  48. "Feel better?"
  49. >"A bit…
  50. >"B-but Equestria has fallen, Anon! Billions must—"
  51. >You unleash your secret weapon: the cuddles and ear scritches combo.
  52. >"Nnnngh."
  53. "Now come on, let's go home and wash that stuff off, I've got some veggie hot pockets with your name on them."
  54. >"Hot pockets?! Mmm… Okay Anon, let's go."
  55. >She drops the shotgun and the two of you leave, crisis averted.
  56. >Another pony walks up.
  57. >She has a greyscale coat, with three marbles as her cutie mark.
  58. >"Oh, this is convenient!"
  59. >She's also wearing clown makeup.
  60.  
  61. ***
  62.  
  63. - 2 - Maybe I can be your Twilight - (20/10/23)
  64. >"W-wait, Anon!"
  65. >You look towards Starlight, she's somehow changed her manecut to Twilight's.
  66. >"Maybe I can be your Twilight for tonight?"
  67. >She grins at you.
  68. "…Talk Booksmart to me."
  69. >She thinks for a moment, before settling on what to say.
  70. >"Hey, Anon! Have you made any new friends today?"
  71. "Nope. I'd rather stay inside. Self-study and focusing on my hobbies is more important."
  72. >She bites her lip.
  73. "Keep going."
  74. >Clearing her throat, she continues.
  75. >"Really, Anon? I gave you a whole month to make some new friends, and all you've been doing is staying in your room like the same old shut-in you always are? What about that Friendship Journal I gave you? Didn't you read it?!"
  76. >She's good…!
  77. "J-just a little bit more…"
  78. >"What am I supposed to report to Princess Celestia now?! You *do* know that she's been very interested in your progress as the only human in Equestria!?"
  79. >Oh God, she's bringing in the big guns.
  80. >"Oh…oh no! What if she's *disappointed* in me for failing to produce results?! What if—"
  81. >She gasps.
  82. >"What if she locks me up in a dungeon for failing her!? What if she locks *both* of us up in a—"
  83. "Hnnng!"
  84. >You collapse to the floor, completely exhausted; Starlight hastily trots up to you.
  85. >"Anon! Are you okay?!"
  86. "I…I think I just came."
  87. >Her eyes slowly drift down your body in steady realisation; smirking, she does a hoof pump.
  88. >"Jackpot."
  89. >Twilight Sparkle watches the scene unfold from a nearby window.
  90. >"I do *not* sound like that… Do I?" she mumbles to herself.
  91.  
  92. ***
  93.  
  94. - 3 - Judgement NUT [NSFW] - (23/10/23)
  95. >You are Anon, professional >rape dealer.
  96. >Spying a lone Starlight, you move in for the kill.
  97. "Good morning, Purple."
  98. >"Oh, hi Anon!"
  99. "Nice weather today, isn't it?"
  100. >"Yep! Wonderful!"
  101. "Perfect for a spot of…"
  102. >You close in on her.
  103. >rape
  104. >You reach in and grab her, but she vanishes in your arms like smoke.
  105. >"But Anon…"
  106. >Hearing her voice behind you, you swivel around.
  107. >She's standing there, horn surrounded by magic.
  108. >"You are already >raped."
  109. "N-nani?!"
  110. >She releases the spell.
  111. >Your eyes go wide and you scream as the sensations all strike you at once.
  112. >Your mouth is sopping wet; multiple distinct flavours of Glimmer goo assault your taste buds simultaneously.
  113. >Your nipples feel beyond sore, having gone through a gauntlet of being pulled, sucked, licked, kissed, and bitten.
  114. >Your dick is hypersensitive and chafed to hell, even the slightest breeze against it sends a sharp jolt throughout your entire body.
  115. >Your balls feel like shrivelled prunes; it's as if all of the sperm that you've had and could have had in the next few years has been stolen from you.
  116. >And your ass… God, you don't even wanna talk about that.
  117. >The sensory overload sends you crumpling to the floor.
  118. >Lying on your back, you gasp out at her.
  119. "H-how?! H-how did you beat my >rape?!"
  120. >She sashays up to your face with a wide smirk, before turning around and giving you a full view of her rear end.
  121. >Both of her holes are absolutely gushing with your shared fluids.
  122. >"Foalishness, Anon! Foalishness!"
  123. >The lilac mound descends upon you, and you hear one last thing before your vision goes purple.
  124. >"You can't >rape a >rapist."
  125. [Note: This inspired an Anon to write https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/40434254/#40459712 ]
  126.  
  127. ***
  128.  
  129. - 4 - The Glim Bump - (04/11/23)
  130. >"Check out this new spell, Anon!"
  131. "What does it do?"
  132. >"Have a look!"
  133. >Her horn lights up in that familiar turquoise glow for a few moments.
  134. >A sharp sense of vertigo quickly overtakes you as you feel the room you're in suddenly ascend.
  135. >But soon, the sensation leaves just as swiftly as it arrived as the room stops at its apex.
  136. "W-whoa, did you just—"
  137. >"Yep! I just bumped the thread!"
  138. "Nice."
  139. >She beams proudly.
  140. "But couldn't we have just made a regular post?"
  141. >"We could've, yeah, but it's more fun using magic."
  142. "Fair enough."
  143. >You ponder to yourself.
  144. "Do bump spells have to deal with captcha too?"
  145. >She groans.
  146. >"Ugh, you have no idea. This one wanted me to select 'best pony' from a set of pony images. How are you even supposed to answer that? It's subjective, isn't it?"
  147. >She turns her head away from you, trying to hide a building frown.
  148. >"I wasn't even on there…"
  149. >Kneeling down, you give her a few pets through her mane.
  150. "Hey now, you'll always be best pony to me."
  151. >"Aw, thanks, Anon!"
  152. >Rearing up, she wraps you in a hug.
  153. >"And you'll always be best human!"
  154. >The hug is cut short as your room suddenly shifts downwards.
  155. "I think we're on page 2 already."
  156. >"Oh come on!"
  157.  
  158. ***
  159.  
  160. - 5 - Magical Mix-up - (10/11/23)
  161. "Oh no!"
  162. >The scene before you is horrific, chilling you to the bone.
  163. >You frantically question the mare responsible.
  164. "W-why did you do it, Starlight?!"
  165. >"They had it coming, Anon!"
  166. "They trusted you! *I* trusted you!"
  167. >Using her powerful magic, Starlight made short work of your dear friends while you weren't looking.
  168. >Rainbow's hind legs have been blown off; she will never run again.
  169. >Applejack's entire face has been stripped away.
  170. >Fluttershy's cranium has been forcibly removed.
  171. >Rarity's head has been separated from her body.
  172. >Half of Twilight's face has been carved out, taking her horn with it.
  173. >Pinkie is the only one without any severe wounds, but you know she'll never be the same way again after seeing what happened to her friends.
  174. >You drop to your knees, tears building in your eyes; what did these pure, sweet ponies do to deserve this?
  175. >"If you act now, maybe you can use your Special Pony Pal Powers to save them!"
  176. >She leaves, cackling madly to herself, and you are left with the remains of your fallen friends.
  177. >You still can't believe it.
  178. >Starlight, she…she…
  179. >She messed up your etch-a-sketch of the Mane Six.
  180.  
  181. ***
  182.  
  183. - 6 - The Cutie Unmarked Crusaders - (11/11/23)
  184. [Image of Starlight with the CMC's cutie marks]
  185. >Starlight Glimmer walks down a path in Ponyville, minding her own business.
  186. >Suddenly, an orange filly riding a scooter swerves in front of her from behind; she makes a stop, blocking Starlight's path.
  187. >The filly takes off her helmet, facing Starlight and catching her breath.
  188. >"S-starlight!"
  189. >"Oh, hello! Scootaloo, was it?"
  190. >"Starlight! We need your help! We need you to…" A yellow filly—Apple Bloom—runs up to Starlight's front from her left.
  191. >"We need you to get rid of our cutie marks!" A white filly—Sweetie Belle—runs up to Starlight's front from her right.
  192. >"Oh…"
  193. >Starlight frowns.
  194. >"Girls, I can't do that."
  195. >"What? Why noooot?"
  196. >"I'm just…not that kind of pony any more."
  197. >"Well the Crusaders aren't friends any more either, so that cancels it out, right?"
  198. >"Yeah! As of today—the Cutie Mark Crusaders have officially disbanded!"
  199. >"Aw, you don't mean that. You three will be friends again, I just know it."
  200. >"Nuh-uh, we are *never* gonna be friends again! Never ever never!"
  201. >"Never ever never never ever NEVER!"
  202. >"But the cutie marks you have are so special. Why would you ever want to get rid of them?"
  203. >"Because we want to have different talents, talents that don't rely on us bein' together, talents we can call our own!"
  204. >Apple Bloom puffs out her chest.
  205. >"Ah want to be an alchemist!"
  206. >"I wanna be a stuntmare!"
  207. >"And I want to be a singer! La-laaaaa—" Sweetie coughs.
  208. >All three shout at once.
  209. >"But we can't do that with these stupid cutie marks!"
  210. >"But there's nothing stopping you from doing those things. Maybe you three just need some time apart."
  211. >"Nah, these cutie marks are *weird!* They, like, force us to be together or something."
  212. >"Yeah! This morning Ah was selling some apples, and Ah almost tripped over Sweetie Belle! What were you even doin'? Singin' on the dirt?!"
  213. >"It's not my fault you weren't looking where you were going! And anyway, I was practising my levitation in the park, and Scootaloo almost knocked me out of the sky on her scooter!"
  214. >"Girls, maybe that's all because you live in Ponyville and attend the same school. It's only natural you'd see each other often."
  215. >"Nope! It's our cutie marks, definitely!"
  216. >"Yeah, definitively!"
  217. >"And that's why we need you to get rid of 'em!"
  218. >"But—"
  219. >"And you're *super* amazing at magic. You're the only one we can count on to do this!"
  220. >"I—"
  221. >"Pleeeaaaseee? Pretty Please? Take our cutie marks!"
  222. >"Um…"
  223. >"Take our cutie marks! Take our cutie marks! Take our cutie marks!"
  224. >As the three close in on her, repeating their demands, a nervous grin begins to build on Starlight's face as her eyes dart from filly to filly.
  225.  
  226. >Back in the Castle of Friendship's main room, the large table in the centre—the Cutie Map—lights up, showcasing a friendship problem in Ponyville.
  227. >A familiar trio of cutie marks float around Starlight's; suddenly, the three cutie marks disappear, only to be replaced with…nothing.
  228. >Twilight Sparkle gazes at the scene with a tired expression.
  229. >"STARLIGHT!"
  230.  
  231. ***
  232.  
  233. - 7 - Marry the 'light - (13/11/23)
  234. "So let me get this straight, Twilight."
  235. >Standing in the castle hallway, you give the document in your hand another brief skim before looking at Twilight Sparkle.
  236. "I have to marry a pony to retain my citizenship rights in Equestria."
  237. >"Yep."
  238. "And this is all part of your new 'Friendship Act' as leading Princess of Equestria."
  239. >"That's correct!"
  240. "But it can't be any pony. They have to be…"
  241. >You squint your eyes at the paper.
  242. "A mare."
  243. >"Mm-hmm."
  244. "With a purple coat."
  245. >"You can't go wrong with purple."
  246. "And a purple mane."
  247. >"Matching colours, very important!"
  248. "Magically talented."
  249. >"Here's a hint, look for the cutie mark!"
  250. "She can fly."
  251. >"Magic *and* flight! Ringing any bells yet, Anon?"
  252. >She flares out her wings and proudly poses.
  253. "She's saved Equestria several times."
  254. >"You have *no* idea how many discounts you'll get for being married to a hero."
  255. "She's got a close-knit friend group."
  256. >"Not only do you get a loving wife, you also get more friends! Great deal, right?"
  257. "She has a fun, relatable sense of humour."
  258. >"She also happens to have a lot of great joke books, wink wink."
  259. >As if it wasn't enough, she also winks twice in addition to saying "wink wink."
  260. "She's well read."
  261. >"*Very* well read."
  262. "And very intelligent overall."
  263. >"Well I don't mean to brag but…"
  264. >You have to roll your eyes at that one.
  265. "Her first name ends in 'light.'"
  266. >"She'll brighten up your day!"
  267. "And…her last name is a phenomena of light."
  268. >"See? Even the names match! Just like we will—I mean, you and your wife."
  269. "This is all…very specific."
  270. >"Of course, you deserve only the best, Anon!"
  271. "Right."
  272. >"And the best is closer than you think! She might even be…right in front of you?"
  273. >She…she HAS to know, right?
  274. >That earnest smile she's giving you is telling you otherwise.
  275. >Still, she's the one forcing you to get married.
  276. "You know what? I'm cool with that."
  277. >"G-great! So, whenever you're ready!"
  278. >Twilight closes her eyes and puckers up her lips.
  279. >You turn around and head the other way.
  280.  
  281. "Starlight! We're getting horsemarried now!"
  282. >"Oh, cool!"
  283.  
  284. ***
  285.  
  286. - 8 - Sleeping In - (22/11/23)
  287. >The morning rays shine in through the nearby window.
  288. >You hear birds chirping outside as the entire world wakes up to greet the new day.
  289. >Well, *almost* the entire world, you're still not ready yet.
  290. >And you're not the only one.
  291. >Cuddled up against your left side is a mare very dear to your heart.
  292. >Stray rays of sunlight reflect off of her lilac fur, giving her a positively radiant look even as she slumbers.
  293. >Her purple and turquoise mane has retained most of its styled curl throughout the night, but stray strands of mane dare to peek out from her bed head.
  294. >Her horn is…well, it's a unicorn horn; it's still a part of her though, so you're convinced it's the objectively cutest unicorn horn.
  295. >Even in her bed-headed state—to you, she is picturesque in appearance; you could gaze at her forever…
  296. >'*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*'
  297. >But all good things must come to an end.
  298. >The sleepy mare on your chest shifts around in discomfort.
  299. >"Nngh…"
  300. >You feel your right arm move of its own accord towards the source of the offending audio.
  301. >Held up by a gentle turquoise glow, your hand gives the alarm a few clumsy slaps, none of which manage to stifle the sound.
  302. >After a few acts of dozy ventriloquism, you decide to address your puppeteer.
  303. "I've got it, Starlight."
  304. >Regaining control over your appendage, you smack that snooze button.
  305. >"Thanks, Nonny…"
  306. >You crane your neck downwards to give her a peck on the forehead; she coos in response.
  307.  
  308. >But you can't stay like this forever; a new day is dawning.
  309. "Hey Starlight, time to get up."
  310. >"Mmm, no…"
  311. >It's a denial that moves your very soul; it moves you to *not* move her.
  312. >Unfortunately, you still need to move yourself, you can wake her up later when she's ready.
  313. "Alright, then I'll…"
  314. >Using your right arm, you pull the bed covers out from your side, earning you a groan of frustration from Starlight.
  315. >Then you dislodge your left arm from around her torso, earning you an even louder groan.
  316. >You make to climb out of bed—but something stops you before your feet can even reach the floor.
  317. >That something being a set of forelegs connected to a groggy, lilac weight that's intent on keeping you tethered to the bed frame.
  318. >You look back to her, making eye contact with the slightest glimmer of blue peeking out from underneath her barely opened eyelids.
  319. "I can't get out of bed if you're clinging to me."
  320. >"Mhmm."
  321. "Starlight…"
  322. >The corners of her mouth upturn slightly.
  323. >"Just five more minutes, Nonnyyy…"
  324. >Her tone is one of pleading, striking at your heart's vital points with brutal efficiency.
  325. "Well…"
  326. >You give her a brief glance over, but your answer had already been decided the moment she spoke.
  327. >The game was rigged from the start; you can't say no to more snuggling with Starlight.
  328. >And sleeping in just a *little* bit longer can't hurt, right?
  329. "Oh alright, five more minutes."
  330. >She murmurs in appreciation, already attempting to pull you back to bed with a physical strength that you wouldn't expect from a unicorn.
  331. >You decide to save her the trouble as you climb back into bed with her and pull the covers back up.
  332. >She makes a show of snuggling back into your side as you wrap your left arm around her once more.
  333. >After a few brief moments, you hear her start to softly snore in record time.
  334. >And that's your cue to close your eyes and join her in sweet slumber.
  335. >As it turns out, you're going to end up closing them for a bit longer than five minutes, but that's a problem for future You and future Starlight to deal with.
  336.  
  337. ***
  338.  
  339. - 9 - Glim Inhibitors Off - (27/11/23)
  340. ["She'll drink a zero restraint potion so she'll get really hecking nasty and indulge in whatever i want."]
  341. ["D-don't get too crazy, she still has to live with the memories!"]
  342. ["If anything I'm more in danger, a zero restraint Glimmy? RIP my balls."]
  343. >Deep in the Castle of Friendship, you crouch down in a large empty vase in one of the hallways, hidden from view.
  344. >Hidden from Starlight Glimmer.
  345. >As a way to spice things up in the bedroom, you had Starlight drink a potion to completely remove her inhibitions.
  346. >Kind of like super alcohol.
  347. >You had a whole list of kinky fun planned for the night, stuff that Starlight would never let you do while sober, stuff that would make a mare of the night blush.
  348. >But what you didn't expect—
  349. >"THERE!"
  350. >That's the sound of a table being blown up—your previous hiding spot.
  351. >"No? Darn."
  352. >—What you didn't expect was that Starlight had a list of her own; it happened to be a lot longer than yours, and lot more debased.
  353. >She had orgasmed herself into a stupor just describing the lewd laundry list of depravity she wished to inflict upon you.
  354. >You took that opportunity to quickly excuse yourself to the library.
  355. >And then the dining hall, then the kitchen, then the study room, and so on; Starlight upended each and every one in search of you.
  356. >And now—
  357. >"Where ARE you, Anon?! Come out!"
  358. >—And now you're on the run.
  359. >Or rather—on the sneak; there's no way you can outrun horny Glimmer.
  360. >…Speaking of which, she sounded close, too close.
  361. >You're going to have to relocate soon, but you can't run forever.
  362. >You know Twilight has an apothecary room somewhere in the castle; there has to be an antidote somewhere in there, and then maybe you and Starlight can try a more subdued, less rapey potion?
  363. >Gingerly peeking out of the vase, you don't see her anywhere; she must have gone into one of the other rooms.
  364. >It's time to make your move; you glance around.
  365. >And at the end of the hallway, you see a door with the plaque of a potion hanging off it; that must be it!
  366. >Carefully and silently climbing out of the vase, you sprint towards the door, hand outstretched to—
  367. >A furry purple cannonball slams into your side, knocking you to the floor.
  368. >You are magically flipped onto your back, and a lilac weight makes its presence known on top of your stomach—Starlight Glimmer, of course.
  369. >It was too good to be true; you reap what you sow.
  370. >"Anon! There you are!"
  371. >Her face is contorted into a manic grin.
  372. >You'll be lucky if your pelvis survives the rest of the night.
  373. >"Now, where were we…?"
  374.  
  375. ***
  376.  
  377. - 10 - Glimmy - (13/12/23)
  378. ["I really like saying glimmys name it sounds nice coming out of my mouth"]
  379. "Glimmy."
  380. >Damn, that's nice.
  381. >"What's up, Anon?"
  382. "Glimmy."
  383. >And it only gets better with repetition.
  384. >"Yeah, I heard you."
  385. "Glimmy."
  386. >The way that "L" rolls across your tongue, whew.
  387. >"Anon?"
  388. "Glimmy."
  389. >And the way that "M" pops out, that's a winner.
  390. >"Um."
  391. "Glimmy."
  392. >When you combine the two—that's when things get interesting.
  393. >"Are…are you okay?"
  394. "Glimmy."
  395. >You could keep saying this for hours.
  396. >"Anon, speak to me! Say something other than 'Glimmy!'"
  397. >But now, it's time to switch gears.
  398. "Glump."
  399. >Hey, that one's pretty good, too.
  400. >"I mean I guess that's different, but…"
  401. >But what if…?
  402. "Glumpy."
  403. >A daring synthesis, but a rewarding one.
  404. >"Words, Anon! Say something that's an actual word!"
  405. "Glomp."
  406. >Another solid starter.
  407. >"I…I guess that's a word?"
  408. >Now, for the finishing touch:
  409. "Glompy."
  410. >And it just gets even better.
  411. >"Ugh…"
  412. >You're gonna call this one the "Y principle."
  413. >Take a nice-sounding word, add a "Y" to the end, and you've got yourself a champion.
  414. >And if you already know the "Y" is gonna make a banger, then you can skip a step for this next one.
  415. "Glimpy."
  416. >Now THAT…that right there is a good'un.
  417. >"Why are you doing this, Anon? Why?"
  418. >But what makes it so good? It's time to go back to the basics.
  419. "Glimmy."
  420. >Phew, it's like finally returning home after a month-long vacation—exquisite.
  421. >"I'm…I'm just gonna lie down here, don't mind me."
  422. >Time to run over the base components of this masterpiece.
  423. "Guh."
  424. >It's a powerful opener—one with presence, suspense, and intrigue.
  425. "Lim."
  426. >At this point, everyone in the room knows who you're talking about, but you're not done yet; they might know, but they've still got to *feel* it.
  427. "Mee."
  428. >Boom. Once you fire off that explosive finale—you've set the stage, the pacing, and the pony all at once.
  429. >Pull these three syllables together and you get the apex nickname.
  430. "Glimmy."
  431. >Perfection.
  432. >You look down at your feet and see Starlight.
  433. >She's lying on her back, staring upwards with a thousand-yard stare.
  434. "Oh hey, Glimmy. Didn't notice you there."
  435.  
  436. ***
  437.  
  438. - 11 - Starlight the Christmas Light - (19/12/23)
  439. >You hear the rattling sound of something being dragged across the floor.
  440. >"Um, Anon."
  441. >You glance up from your incredibly interesting book to see Starlight Glimmer.
  442. "What's up—oh."
  443. >Emphasis on the "light" part; she has somehow gotten herself tangled up in Christma—sorry—Hearth's Warming lights.
  444. >Her entire body is wrapped up in the things—from her legs all the way to her horn.
  445. >"Could I get a little help here?"
  446. >Examining her closely, you see that the earlier sound must have come from the lights that trail behind her.
  447. "How on Equestria did you manage that?"
  448. >"What do you think?! I was trying to decorate our tree."
  449. "Yeah but…you have magic. You don't even have to touch the lights."
  450. >"I know! But…I don't know. It was going just fine earlier, but then one of them somehow wrapped around my leg and then…and then *this!*"
  451. >She raises a decorated forehoof and shakes it to no avail.
  452. >"And now they won't come off no matter what I do! Look—!"
  453. >She vanishes in a teleportation spell, taking the lights with her; she reappears roughly a metre away, still entangled in the same lights.
  454. >"Not even teleporting works! Uuurgh!"
  455. >You can no longer hold it in any more—you snicker in response to the continued exposure to Starlight the Christmas Light.
  456. >She pouts.
  457. >"I'm glad you find my predicament so funny, Anon."
  458. >After a few seconds, you manage to catch your breath.
  459. "Hah-ah…sorry, Glimmy, it's just—you know?"
  460. >Still maintaining her pout, her eyes drift off to the side.
  461. >"…Yeah, I know. Can you please help me now?"
  462. "Yeah, of course—hold on."
  463. >You walk up to her and crouch down to help untangle her from the lights.
  464. >Being so close to her, you make sure to take the opportunity to sneak in a few scritches here and there, causing her to hum in appreciation.
  465. "Next time, I'm helping you put these up."
  466. >"You better." She smirks at you.
  467. >Even on Equestria, Christmas lights continue to be one of a quadruped's greatest foes.
  468.  
  469. ***
  470.  
  471. - 12 - Tinsel Time - (20/12/23)
  472. ["I know it's kind of explicit in that she really couldn't get out of that silly trap, but I like the idea of Starlight pretending to be in a pickle and "tricking" (You) into coming to help her out, even though her tricks are perfectly transparent
  473. Like helping her carry her laundry, even tho it's quite clearly still clean; or helping her clean her coat, even tho she probably has 15 spells for that; or having you join her in watching a horror movie, 'cause she can't handle it alone etc."]
  474. >You're sitting down, reading an only-somewhat-interesting book, when a voice calls out to you.
  475. >"Hey Anon! I'm stuck, and I need your help!"
  476. "Again?"
  477. >"Uh…yep!"
  478. "Okay, let's see here…"
  479. >You glance up from your book to see Starlight Glimmer, again.
  480. >She is draped in tinsel of various colours.
  481. >Not wrapped up, not tangled—simply "draped," as if she leisurely levitated the decorations onto her body just moments ago.
  482. >You raise an eyebrow.
  483. "…Very colourful."
  484. >"Right? And oh-so constricting as well!"
  485. "I'm sure."
  486. >"Mhmm! I mean—um, look at this!"
  487. >She raises a decorated forehoof and lightly shakes it, flinging some of the tinsel off of her hoof.
  488. >And onto your face.
  489. >Her eyes briefly widen.
  490. >"Um, one moment."
  491. "Right."
  492. >A turquoise glow gently grabs the tinsel off of your face and floats it back over to Starlight, wrapping it around her hoof.
  493. >"S-see? It rebounds back whenever I try to get rid of it! Must be…enchanted, right?"
  494. "So it seems."
  495. >"And the only way to break this…this curse is for hands—human hands—to pry it off!"
  496. >You blink at her; she grins back.
  497. >You're about to open your mouth to say something about this silly situation, but you decide against it.
  498. >Instead, you put your book down and pat your thigh.
  499. "Alright then, come on up—your big strong human is ready to free you."
  500. >She barely suppresses a squee as she hops onto your lap, and you get to work on saving Starlight from the dastardly enchanted tinsel.
  501. >And sneaking in a few pets along the way.
  502. >She sighs in contentment as you do, melting at your touch.
  503. >You'll indulge her, just this once.
  504. >…And maybe the subsequent times, too.
  505.  
  506. ***
  507.  
  508. - 13 - New Year's Starlight - (31/12/23)
  509. >The dawn of the New Year is approaching.
  510. >And the celebrations are well underway in the castle.
  511. >You lean on the railing of one of the castle balconies, gazing out towards a frosty Ponyville.
  512. >The normally lush green village has been covered in a blanket of snow, giving it the appearance of a winter wonderland.
  513. >You can see the night sky up above, and the abundance of glimmering stars which decorate it.
  514. >It's a beautiful scene.
  515. >You hear a pony trot up to you from behind.
  516. >"Anon! There you are!"
  517. >Glancing over your shoulder, you see a familiar lilac unicorn.
  518. "Starlight, hey."
  519. >"I was wondering where you went off to."
  520. >You chuckle.
  521. "Didn't mean to worry you; just taking in the sights."
  522. >You turn back to look at the town.
  523. "Ponyville sure is breathtaking at this time of year."
  524. >"That's not the only view that's breathtaking."
  525. "Hm?"
  526. >You turn to look at her.
  527. >And see that she's looking you over with a smile.
  528. "O-oh."
  529. >The implications catch up to you and you find yourself at a loss for words.
  530. >She nervously ruffles through her mane with a hoof.
  531. >"Sorry if that was a bit much."
  532. >You shake your head.
  533. "I-it's fine. The view or—er, the feeling—the feeling-view is mutual."
  534. >She giggles, before moving in a bit closer.
  535.  
  536. >"Mind if I join you?"
  537. >You give a brief glance towards the balcony entrance, hearing the distant noises of the celebrations from within.
  538. "You sure? It's just me out here."
  539. >She walks up to your side, smiling.
  540. >"That's fine with me."
  541. >She rears up and rests her forehooves on the balcony railing, positioning herself next to you.
  542. >"To tell you the truth—I'm not much for crowds, myself."
  543. "Really?"
  544. >"Yeah…not to say I don't love hanging out with the friends I've made—I do—but…I also love the quiet moments like these."
  545. >You nod in agreement.
  546. "They are nice."
  547. >The two of you gaze upon Ponyville for a while, before Starlight speaks up again.
  548. >"By the way, have you got any resolutions for the New Year?"
  549. "Well…"
  550. >Goals for the New Year, huh?
  551. >There are a few on your mind, but speaking them out loud just before the year turns over feels…wrong, somehow.
  552. "Maybe, but I'm keeping them a secret, don't wanna invalidate them."
  553. >She shoots you a quizzical look.
  554. >"Isn't that a superstition for birthday wishes, not the New Year?"
  555. >You smirk at her.
  556. "Perhaps, but you can never be *too* careful."
  557. >She pouts at you in response, but it quickly gives way to a smile.
  558. >"Well, whatever they are, I hope you succeed in them, Anon."
  559. "Hah, thanks."
  560. >"As for me—I happen to have a few 'secret resolutions' as well."
  561. >She smirks at you.
  562. >"But I'm feeling daring, so I can tell you about one of them."
  563. "Oh yeah?"
  564. >She leans against your side.
  565. >"It happens to involve spending more time with a certain human."
  566. >She raises a hoof up to her snout, giving herself the patented Glimmy Self-Boop™.
  567. >"Hmm, but now that I've said it aloud, I hope I haven't invalidated it."
  568. >You wrap a arm around her.
  569. "I don't know, I have a pretty good feeling that it'll turn out just fine."
  570. >She closes her eyes.
  571. >You can hear the faint chanting of a countdown coming from within the castle—the New Year is coming.
  572. >"Mmm, I hope so."
  573. >From the castle interior: you hear the countdown reach "one," which is then followed by an almost deafening set of cheers.
  574. >Over Ponyville, you see fireworks being shot up in the sky, lighting it up with a dazzling array of colours and patterns.
  575. >Starlight nuzzles into your side, humming briefly.
  576. >"Happy New Year, Anon."
  577. "Yeah, here's to another year, Starlight."
  578.  
  579. ***
  580.  
  581. - 14 - Taking Care of a Sneezing Starlight - (04/01/24)
  582. >"A-achoo!"
  583. >Now that's a sound you've gotten used to hearing throughout the day.
  584. >Starlight Glimmer is bedridden—having caught a particularly debilitating fever.
  585. >You *did* warn her about the dangers of extended late-night kite flying, but she wasn't hearing any of it, so now here you are.
  586. >You're calling this phenomenon "ponyflu."
  587. >But the matter of how she got ill is in the past now.
  588. >Presently, you sit on a comfy chair by her bedside, and you're doing all that you can to make her recovery is as stress-free as possible.
  589. >Even more presently, you slowly raise a tissue up to her snout and tenderly wipe around it, cleaning up her latest sternutation.
  590. "Tissue for your troubles?"
  591. >"Hehe, appreciate it." She sniffles.
  592. >After discarding the used tissue into a nearby bin, you gaze upon her covered form.
  593. >Despite her eyebags, despite her droopy mane, and despite her lilac fur that has somehow paled a little bit under her illness…
  594. >To you—she's still the most beautiful being in Equestria right now.
  595. >You reach for a glass of warm milk that you had prepared earlier, and you hold it up to her.
  596. "Here comes the milk train. Open up, Glimmy."
  597. >She does her best to suppress a giggle as she opens her mouth, and you gently raise the glass up to her face, angling it so she can drink the contents.
  598. >You have the sneaking suspicion that this simple fever isn't severe enough to disable her telekinetic prowess.
  599. >But neither of you are complaining about the arrangement that you two have got going on here.
  600. >After you help her down the rest of the milk, she smiles up at you.
  601. >"Ah, thanks, Anon."
  602. "Hah, anytime."
  603. >The two of you spend some more time like this, with you keeping her company and assisting her whenever needed.
  604. >But soon, you have to stand up, ready to leave her room to gather more supplies.
  605. "One moment, Glimmy."
  606. >As you walk away, she weakly reaches out a forehoof towards you.
  607. >"Anooon, don't leeaavee meee," she whines out.
  608. "I'm only heading off to make some soup for you; it won't take long."
  609. >She groans, clearly not convinced.
  610. >So you walk back up to her, leaning in close.
  611. "I'll be back soon, promise."
  612. >And you give her a smooch on the forehead.
  613. "And when I come back, we can read some books together on Equestria's rarest flora, alright?"
  614. >She visibly relaxes, breaking into a slight smile.
  615. >"Mmm, okay."
  616. >You give her a tender ruffle through her mane as you set off on your temporary departure.
  617. >Truth be told—you're not sure if "ponyflu" can be transmitted to humans or not.
  618. >Hell, if it can, it's entirely possible that pony germs might mess up your immune system far worse than it does to ponies.
  619. >But for your dear Glimmy? You're more than willing to take that risk.
  620.  
  621. ***
  622.  
  623. - 15 - Glim Boop Three (Dee) - (05/01/24)
  624. "Alright, roll it."
  625. >Starlight tilts her head at you.
  626. "Uh—I meant do the thing."
  627. >"Oh, okay then, give me a moment."
  628. >Starlight Glimmer stands in front of you, ready to do…
  629. >The thing.
  630. >You are ready.
  631. >Equipped.
  632. >Expectant.
  633. >Enlightened.
  634. >Three emotions, three aspects, three…dee.
  635. >As in 3D.
  636. >…You are wearing a pair of anaglyph 3D Glasses.
  637. >"If you're done spacing out, I'm about to do…"
  638. >She sighs.
  639. >"The thing."
  640. "Great—and hey, no sighing. I'm the one who won our little wager yesterday, so you gotta do…'the thing'"
  641. >What you two wagered on doesn't matter; what matters is that you won and Glimmy is now obligated to do…
  642. >The thing.
  643. >She slowly raises her right forehoof.
  644. >Tenderly and tantalisingly.
  645. >It's in front of her face now.
  646. >She slowly brings it in.
  647. >And presses it against her snout.
  648. >Her horn lights up, casting a mild illusory spell over herself—the final piece of the puzzle.
  649. >It distorts the sight of her so your glasses can work *their* magic.
  650. "Wow! Glimmer!"
  651. >She partially lids her eyes, likely due to slight annoyance, but you prefer to think of it as her completing the look.
  652. >Because right in front of you, you see Starlights booping their own snout.
  653. >That's right—Starlights; there are two of them, all thanks to your glasses.
  654. >A blue-tinted Starlight standing to the left.
  655. >A red-tinted Starlight standing to the right.
  656. >And the more you focus, the closer they become, until…
  657. >The Glimmers align, and there she is.
  658. >The Glim Boop™, now in anaglyph 3D.
  659. "This…this is insane."
  660. >You gasp.
  661. "It's like you're really here—booping your own snout right in front of me!"
  662. >You watch her roll her eyes in 3D, yet you also catch a very slight smile forming on her face.
  663. >It's cute.
  664. >And in 3D.
  665.  
  666. ***
  667.  
  668. - 16 - A Starlit Pier in Manehattan - (06/01/24)
  669. >You wander down a long wooden pier at nighttime.
  670. >Lamp poles shine down upon you as you proceed, giving you a much-welcomed source of light.
  671. >You see a metropolitan city in the distance—Manehattan.
  672. >The city buildings shine out their interior light through most of their windows, giving the faraway metropolis a nostalgic glow that reminds you of the cities back home.
  673. >The sound of the sea crashing against the underside of the pier has a calming effect on your nerves; it's a gentle reminder of nature's presence in this otherwise-industrialised zone.
  674. >A rainstorm is buffeting the area, with the occasional flashes of lightning and rumbles of thunder over yonder.
  675. >But it doesn't bother you in the slightest.
  676. >And that's all thanks to your companion walking alongside you, a lilac unicorn who's near and dear to your heart—Starlight Glimmer.
  677. >Her horn is lit up with a turquoise glow, generating an invisible, mobile barrier that covers the two of you.
  678. >If it wasn't for the barrier protecting you from the elements, you likely wouldn't have noticed its presence in the first place.
  679. "That's a really handy spell."
  680. >She giggles.
  681. >"I'm glad you like it. You'd be surprised how difficult it is to make your magical barriers invisible."
  682. >You take a glance at the rain drizzling down the exterior of the barrier.
  683. "I think it was definitely worth the effort. It reminds me of sitting in a car back home and watching the rain hit the windscreen."
  684. >While Equestria does have similar methods of transportation, especially here in Manehattan, riding in them doesn't quite give you the same feeling as it does back on Earth.
  685. >"Hmm, these 'cars' sound really interesting. I'd like to ride in one of them, one day."
  686. "You might end up waiting a long time for that. I think Equestria is gonna be a while off from inventing cars."
  687. >"How about you? Do you miss them? The cars, I mean."
  688. "Eh, not really, because…"
  689. >You look back to her.
  690. "I've got something even better right here."
  691. >She stops in her tracks, looking up at you with a raised eyebrow.
  692. >"Did you really just compare me to one of your 'cars?'"
  693. >You stop walking as well, making sure to stay inside the barrier.
  694. "Uh…"
  695. >Your heart-warming remark backfired hard.
  696. >You need to find some way to salvage this.
  697. "Um…"
  698. >You grit your teeth; you got nothing.
  699. >She giggles once more.
  700. >"I'll let you off the hook this time, Anon. But you have to tell me more about your 'cars' later."
  701. >She playfully winks at you and you exhale in relief.
  702. "You got it, Glimmy."
  703. >You two of you continue on your way with renewed spirits.
  704. >For your part—you desperately wage a war within your head to stop mentally comparing Starlight with a car.
  705. >She's way too small for you to ride on, anyway.
  706.  
  707. ***
  708.  
  709. - 17 - Book of Magic - (15/01/24)
  710. >You see Starlight Glimmer intently reading a book in front of you.
  711. >It's titled "Magic."
  712. "Hey Starlight, what are you reading?"
  713. >"It's a book on magic."
  714. "Ah. What kind of magic?"
  715. >"Magic."
  716. "Oh."
  717. >You chew your lip for a bit.
  718. >Then you speak up again.
  719. "So like—general magic, then?"
  720. >She doesn't respond, continuing to read her book.
  721. "…Can I take a peek?"
  722. >She glances up at you.
  723. >"I don't think that's a good idea, Anon. The contents might be a bit much for you."
  724. "Hey, I may not look it—but my brain is pretty big. I think I can handle it."
  725. >"It's not about smarts; it's about magical aptitude."
  726. >She refocuses on her book, leaving your curiosity to fester.
  727. >The more she advises against it, the more you want to—HAVE to see what's in that book.
  728. >So you slowly circle around her.
  729. >And she slowly rotates herself to continue facing you, keeping the contents of her book out of your vision.
  730. "Hey…"
  731. >Wait a minute, you're taller than her!
  732. >You can just peek on the book from above!
  733. >You stand on your tippy toes and lean in above her.
  734. >…And she promptly teleports herself and the book away, quickly reappearing a short distance away.
  735. "Aw, come on…"
  736. >"It's for your own good, Anon."
  737. >The rest of the day passes with many failed attempts to spy on whatever Starlight is reading.
  738. >But you have an ace in the hole—an opening to exploit within her veil of secrecy.
  739. >At the end of the day: she is but a biological creature with biological needs.
  740. >And at the end of the day—she must sleep.
  741. >And sleep she does; night falls, and Starlight rests easy in her bed, oblivious to the waking world.
  742. >Oblivious to you sneaking into her bedroom.
  743. >Scanning the area, you see her book resting on her book stand.
  744. >You tiptoe over the book stand, seeing that the book is closed.
  745. >A sense of giddiness almost overtakes you over the anticipation of finally seeing what's in that book.
  746. >But you suppress it; this is a sneaking mission, after all.
  747. >You gingerly open the book, flicking to a random page.
  748. >And within the book, you read—
  749. "Magic."
  750. >And "magic," and "magic," and "magic," and so on.
  751. >You see nothing but the word "magic" repeated over and over.
  752. >There are no other words, no punctuation, nothing else.
  753. >Just "magic."
  754. "What…?"
  755. >You flick to another page—and see the exact same repetition of the exact same word.
  756. "This…this doesn't…"
  757. >You desperately flick through other pages in the book, but no matter where you look—the results are the same.
  758. >It's all "magic."
  759. "I-I don't understand…"
  760. >"You don't have to, Anon."
  761. >You raise your head from the book and look over to Starlight's bed; you see Starlight wide awake, looking back at you with a neutral expression.
  762. >"It's magic."
  763.  
  764. ***
  765.  
  766. - 18 - Scribbles of Software - (16/01/24)
  767. ["So if all Anon sees when reading magic books is "Magic", then what does Starlight see when reading code?"]
  768. >You sit down on the floor with a notepad in one hand and a pencil in the other.
  769. "Print the first two, add them together, change the variables, put it in a loop, and—uh…"
  770. >In your notepad, you write down some lines of a computer program.
  771. >The program is written in C++, naturally.
  772. >If you've written it down correctly, it *should* output the Fibonacci sequence; that is, if you had a computer to run it on.
  773. >Computers may not exist in Equestria, but that's no excuse for you to let those skills you've learned go to waste.
  774. >You never know what the future may hold; those ponies over at Manehattan may figure computers out one day.
  775. >As you consider what your next line of code will be, you hear a pony trot up to you.
  776. >"Hey, Anon!"
  777. >You glance up from your notepad to see Starlight Glimmer staring at you with an intrigued expression.
  778. "Hey, Starlight."
  779. >"What are you writing? Whatever it is, you've been at it for quite a while."
  780. "Oh, this? It's nothing special; it's just…"
  781. >You pause as your lips purse, suddenly remembering the "magic incident" from a little while back.
  782. >A wry smile forms on your face.
  783. "…Magic."
  784. >"Really? Let me see!" She reaches out a forehoof to your notepad.
  785. >You move your notepad away from her in response, holding it above your head.
  786. "Oh no, no. This magic…it's a bit different to what you're used to."
  787. >She raises an eyebrow.
  788. >"What do you mean?"
  789. "It's—uh, human magic, yeah."
  790. >"Huh? But I thought humans didn't know how to use magic."
  791. "They don't—at least not in the way you ponies do."
  792. >She raises her other eyebrow.
  793. >"Well, now I *have* to see what's in there! Come on, Nonny!"
  794. >You shake your head.
  795. "Nah, I'm afraid you're not quite ready for it. You don't have the—uh, 'human magical aptitude' for it, very important."
  796. >She squints at you.
  797. >"Oh, so that's how it is. I see."
  798. "Yeah, them's the brakes."
  799. >"I guess I'll just have to read this similar-looking notepad that I found."
  800. >She levitates a notepad over to herself; it does indeed look similar to yours.
  801. "Huh…wait—"
  802. >You notice that your hand feels lighter…
  803. >Because you're no longer holding onto anything.
  804. >She just yoinked your notepad!
  805.  
  806. "Hey!"
  807. >She giggles.
  808. >You attempt to retrieve your notepad from her magical grip, but a magical barrier blocks your hand.
  809. >"Hehe, sorry, Anon—them's the brakes!"
  810. >She leisurely levitates your notepad up to her face and begins looking through it.
  811. >"Now let's see here…"
  812. >As she reads through your code, her smile falls and her brows knit.
  813. >Man, you'll be the first to admit that you never wrote the cleanest code out there, but you never thought it'd warrant *this* kind of reaction.
  814. "Aw, come on; it's not *that* bad, is it?"
  815. >"Um…I—"
  816. >Her posture suddenly stiffens and her pupils shrink to pinpricks.
  817. "Heh, or is it too much for you?" You chuckle. "Don't worry about it; we can't all be—"
  818. >"Zero. One. One. Two. Three. Five. Eight," she states with a robotic tone.
  819. "Uh…say again?"
  820. >"Thirteen. Twenty one. Thirty four."
  821. >Wait, is she…?
  822. >"Fifty five. Eighty nine."
  823. >She is! She's "printing" out the Fibonacci sequence!
  824. >You learn something new about these ponies every day.
  825. >"One hundred and forty four. Two hundred and thirty three."
  826. >But…oh crap! You forgot to write a way to exit the program—she's stuck in a programming loop!
  827. "Starlight!"
  828. >"Three hundred and seventy seven. Six hundred and ten."
  829. >The magical barrier has dissipated, so you grab her by the shoulders and shake her; she drops the notepad on the floor.
  830. "Starlight! Snap out of it!"
  831. >"Nine hundred and…eighty…seven…"
  832. >She goes silent and slack in your arms.
  833. "P-phew…"
  834. >You gently set her down on the floor.
  835. >Noticing your notepad lying on the ground, you snap it up, gazing pensively into its pages for a few moments.
  836. >A light groaning sound notifies you of Starlight slowly regaining consciousness; she sits back up, tenderly rubbing her scalp with a hoof.
  837. >"Urgh… Wh-what happened?"
  838. >You quickly rip out the offending page from your notebook and tear it into many indiscernible pieces.
  839. "Nothing. Nothing happened."
  840. >Ponykind isn't ready to learn of their innate ability to compile code quite just yet.
  841.  
  842. ***
  843.  
  844. - 19 - make_glimmy_relax.cc - (17/01/24)
  845. ["-Glimmy can compile code innately
  846. -whenever she's going through her nervous panic attacks have her look at some code I wrote to make her that is supposed to immediately calm her down"]
  847. >You sit down in your room, reading a book.
  848. >It's not magic-related, but it's an enjoyable read all the same.
  849. >Or at it least it is—until Starlight busts into your room in a panic.
  850. >She begins rifling through your various drawers.
  851. >"No…"
  852. >She invades your closet.
  853. >"Maybe here…no…"
  854. >She rummages under your bed, and then shakes her head.
  855. >"Ugh, not here either!"
  856. >You can't take the suspense any longer, so you put down your book.
  857. "What's going on, Glimmy?"
  858. >"Sorry Anon, can't chat right now! I have to find it!"
  859. "And what's 'it,' exactly?"
  860. >"I…I…"
  861. >She turns to you, desperately struggling to keep her breathing controlled enough to properly respond to you.
  862. >"I-I lost one of Twilight's chairs!"
  863. "You 'lost' a chair?"
  864. >"Not just any chair—one of the ones that surround the Friendship Map over in the throne room!"
  865. "How on Equestria did you manage that one?"
  866. >"T-teleportation misfire! There was a *really* annoying fly buzzing around and it landed on one of the chairs and—"
  867. >She purses her lips.
  868. >"I-it doesn't matter! I *need* to find the chair before Twilight comes back from her trip to Canterlot!"
  869. "And…you thought you'd find it under my bed?"
  870. >She frowns.
  871. >"I…I don't know! I've looked everywhere else! Multiple times!"
  872. "I mean…if you really can't find it, then maybe you should just let Twilight know about it? She's probably got at least five contingency plans for this exact scenario."
  873. >"No! She can't know about this—no matter what! This is one of the pieces of the Friendship Map we're talking about here, Anon! No—it's part of the castle itself—part of the Tree of Harmony that made it!"
  874. "Well I—"
  875. >"If she finds out about this—she'll never trust me again! Or"—she gasps—"maybe she'll disown me as her student and exile me from Ponyville—from Equestria! O-or what if she turns me to stone, Anon?! W-what then!?"
  876. >Starlight continues to rapidly ramble to herself about increasingly dire doomsday scenarios.
  877. >You sigh; it looks like it's finally time to use "that."
  878.  
  879. >Reaching into your pocket, you pull out your trusty notepad, flipping to a specific page.
  880. >You had a hunch something like this would happen sooner or later, so you always keep it close by.
  881. "Hey Starlight,"—you raise your notepad—"have a look at this."
  882. >"I-I can't, Anon! There's no time!"
  883. >You clear your throat.
  884. "I've written down a spell here that'll help you find your misplaced chair."
  885. >If Starlight was a level-headed mare, she'd quickly call your bluff.
  886. >"Why didn't you say so? Show me!"
  887. >But as she obviously *isn't* level headed right now, she magically snaps up your notepad out from your hand.
  888. >Her eyes quickly scan through the open page.
  889. >As she does, her eyes blink a few times and she begins to parse the contents within at a slower rate.
  890. >"Hm?"
  891. >Her breathing steadies, and her posture relaxes.
  892. >Eventually, she looks up at you with a raised eyebrow.
  893. >"I don't get it."
  894. "You don't have to—it's magic."
  895. >She stares at you for a few moments, then she snickers.
  896. >"Very funny, Anon. But come on now; this is serious."
  897. "Hah, my bad."
  898. >She floats the notepad back over to you.
  899. >As you grab it, you address her.
  900. "So, Glimmy, do you feel better now?"
  901. >"Better…? Oh!"
  902. >She raises a hoof up to her chest and takes a deep breath.
  903. >"I do feel a bit better, actually!"
  904. "Glad to hear it."
  905. >"There's still the matter of the chair, though…"
  906. "Take your time."
  907. >After humming on the situation for a few moments, she smiles at you.
  908. >"You know, I think you're right, Anon. This is a problem I can't quite solve on my own, and Twilight has been nothing but understanding whenever I happen to mess things up."
  909. >She sighs.
  910. >"I was overreacting back there, big time; sorry about that."
  911. "Don't worry about it—happens to the best of us."
  912. >"I guess all I really needed to do was talk my problems out, huh?"
  913. "Uh…yeah, totally. Just needed to talk it out."
  914. >She performs a few stretches and yawns.
  915. >"I'm gonna go buy an apology gift for Twilight—just in case. Then I think I'll take a nap; all of this panicking has left me exhausted. Thanks for lending an ear, Anon!"
  916. "Sounds good. See you around, Glimmy."
  917. >She leisurely trots out of your room.
  918. >After she leaves, you look over your notepad.
  919. >A little while back, you had learned that ponies have the peculiar ability to compile and run written code.
  920. >So you wrote down a short program in your spare time; its aim—to calm Starlight down whenever she's going through one of her panic attacks.
  921. >It turns out writing programs for ponies is easier than it sounds.
  922. >All you had to do was set the "neurotic_panic" variable to zero.
  923. >Is it ethically dubious? Yes.
  924. >Is it very effective? Also yes.
  925. >…God, you're starting to sound like her, now.
  926.  
  927. ***
  928.  
  929. - 20 - Stop! Glimmer Time! - (18/01/24)
  930. >You're in the shower, enjoying the feeling of the hot water running down your skin.
  931. >You sigh in relief; God bless magically-heated water.
  932. >Holding a back scrubber in your hand, you carefully angle it to clean those hard-to-reach places around your back.
  933. >It's bliss; it's—
  934. >You are suddenly, briefly blinded by a flash of turquoise light.
  935. >"Stop! It's Glimmer Time!"
  936. "H-huh? Whazzat?"
  937. >"It…uh…"
  938. >As your vision returns to you, you see that Starlight Glimmer has teleported into your shower enclosure.
  939. >And she is now currently staring upon your naked form, eyes slowly widening.
  940. "AAAHHH!"
  941. >"AAAHHH!"
  942. >She promptly teleports out.
  943.  
  944. >You're in a library over at Canterlot, reading a Daring Do book; it has your interest piqued.
  945. >The titular protagonist has just been locked inside a burning warehouse by Doctor Caballeron and his goons; not only that, but venomous (yet curiously-fire-resistant) snakes have begun to pour in through cracks in the walls.
  946. >Trapped between either flatlining in flames or perishing to poison; how will the intrepid pegasus get out of *this* situation?
  947. >You eagerly press on, reading that Daring Do boldly removes her hat, twirling it around one of her forehooves.
  948. >She then throws it towards—
  949. >A bright, loud flash of magic breaks your concentration.
  950. >"Stop! It's Glimmer Time!"
  951. "Wh-whuhuh?"
  952. >Starlight Glimmer has once again teleported in front of you.
  953. >A loud hushing sound from the other patrons in the library startles you both.
  954. >Starlight looks around, quickly realising where she is, and blushes in embarrassment.
  955. >"O-oh, sorry!"
  956. >She promptly teleports out.
  957. >You look back to your book and read onto the next page.
  958. >'To be continued in the next book!'
  959. "Damn it."
  960. >"Shh!"
  961.  
  962. >You are seated on the train heading from Canterlot to Ponyville.
  963. >There's an elderly stallion seated next to you. He makes small talk with you; actually, it's more like "at you" than "with you."
  964. >You smile and nod for the most part.
  965. >"…And just so you know, I had to open a door by its handle just to get into this cart!"
  966. "Uh huh."
  967. >"Anyway, seeing a 'hue man' wandering around with those hands of yours got me wonderin'…"
  968. "Yeah…?"
  969. >"Why do they call 'em 'handles' and not 'hoofles' or summin'?"
  970. "Huh…"
  971. >You turn to face him.
  972. "That's a good—"
  973. >You suddenly hear the telltale sound of teleportation, but it sounds muffled.
  974. >"Stop! It's…it's Glimmer Time!"
  975. >You turn your head to see Starlight Glimmer, again.
  976. "Uh, hey, Starlight."
  977. >"Hi…Anon!"
  978. "You doing alright there?"
  979. >"Never…hah…better!"
  980. >You give Starlight a concerned look from the other side of the train window.
  981. >She's outside the moving train, using a self-levitation spell to keep pace, but you can see that it's tiring her out fast.
  982. >"Actually I…hah…I think I'll…I'll catch up with you…hah…later…"
  983. "S-sure, see you."
  984. >She slows down, disappearing from view.
  985. >The stallion seated next to you gives you a bemused look.
  986. >"Is she a friend of yours?"
  987. >You sigh.
  988. "More or less, yeah."
  989.  
  990. >Night falls, and you are in your bedroom, sitting down on a chair.
  991. >You carefully set up a house of cards on a table.
  992. >Each action you take is done with meticulous consideration to the fragile state of your structure.
  993. >Even the slightest misstep could—
  994. >"Stop! It's Glimmer Time!"
  995. >Aaand there it goes.
  996. >You shield your eyes as Starlight suddenly teleports onto your table.
  997. >This time, she has materialised herself into the dead centre of your house of cards, sending your poor playing cards flying all over the room.
  998. >As she looks around, noticing the mess she has inadvertently made, she grins sheepishly.
  999. >"O-oh, whoops!"
  1000. "Don't worry about it."
  1001. >You're not mad, or even surprised.
  1002. >Because this was actually your plan all along.
  1003. >Starlight has been displaying the uncanny ability to show up at the most inopportune times.
  1004. >Upon realising this, you sought to reverse engineer this phenomenon within the controlled environment of your very own bedroom.
  1005. >In other words—your house of cards was a necessary sacrificial lamb to summon the Lilac One.
  1006. "I'm not gonna ask how you keep showing up like this."
  1007. >You stand up, looking at Starlight—who is now sitting on your table.
  1008. "But I do want to know this—what *is* Glimmer Time?"
  1009. >Her eyes widen.
  1010. >"Oh right! I still haven't told you yet."
  1011. >She stands and rears up, spreading her forelegs wide.
  1012. >"Bring it here, Anon."
  1013. >You raise an eyebrow, but nonetheless follow her instructions, leaning in towards her.
  1014. >She wraps her forelegs around your back, bringing you into a hug; you wrap your arms around her back to reciprocate.
  1015. >As she rests her head on your shoulder, she whispers in your ear.
  1016. >"This is Glimmer Time."
  1017. "O-oh."
  1018. >Maybe Glimmer Time ain't so bad, after all.
  1019.  
  1020. ***
  1021.  
  1022. - 21 - Glim in the Chair - (20/01/24)
  1023. >"This is a really nice chair! It's so cosy!"
  1024. "Um, thanks."
  1025. >In your room, Starlight Glimmer sits in your Gamer™ Chair™; it's an ergonomic desk chair with plenty of padding.
  1026. >And it's padding that Starlight eagerly makes use of as she leisurely reclines against the backseat of the chair, resting her forelegs on the armrests and dangling her hind legs off of the seat.
  1027. >Her pose is oddly humanoid, making you wonder if she's been hanging out with that minty green unicorn that you've caught spying on you every now and again.
  1028. "Well I'm glad you like it; it's one of a kind."
  1029. >"Mhmm!" She shuts her eyes and absent-mindedly kicks her hind legs about in the air.
  1030. >She's clearly taken to your chair like a cat to a tree.
  1031. >You reflect on your current situation.
  1032. >For some reason, when you had arrived in Equestria, your chair came with you, despite the fact that you weren't even close to it at the time.
  1033. >As why it came with you: maybe all those cumulative years of sitting on it had resulted in it fusing with your magical signature.
  1034. >Or something like that—you're not sure; dimensional teleportation and its quirks are still a mystery to you.
  1035. >The presence of your Gamer™ Chair™ was quickly forgotten in favour of the alien biped's sudden arrival into Magical Horse Land, which gave you the opportunity to covertly store it away within your new lodgings.
  1036. >From there, your chair would remain under your personal jurisdiction, away from prying eyes—unbeknown to any other inhabitant in this world.
  1037. >That is, until today, when Starlight—against all odds—somehow managed to perceive its presence despite it being expertly hidden away in the corner of your room.
  1038. >You don't understand—that spare bed sheet draped over it should've concealed it completely!
  1039. >Once she had discovered it, all bets were off—she *had* to try it out.
  1040. >Upon exiting your brief moment of reflection, you see that Starlight is still sitting in her—wait, no—YOUR chair; she hums to herself with her eyes still closed.
  1041. "So, if you're done…"
  1042. >She opens her eyes; they glimmer with intrigue.
  1043. >"Wait just one moment! I noticed earlier that this chair has wheels on the bottom, so there's something I've been meaning to try out."
  1044. >You purse your lips—you can see where this is going.
  1045. >Her horn lights up, and she gives her chair a magical nudge, causing it to slide a short distance.
  1046. >"Oh! It really moved!" She giggles excitedly.
  1047. >You're still surprised that a unicorn can find such amusement in a moving chair, considering she's capable of levitating any old seat.
  1048. >Feeling a bit more daring this time, Starlight gives the chair a stronger magical shove, sending the chair—and her—careening past you and across your room's floor.
  1049. >"Whee!"
  1050. >While part of you is happy she's having so much fun, another part of you is worried because your bedroom isn't that large and she launched that chair pretty quickly and—
  1051. "W-wait, watch the chair—!"
  1052.  
  1053. >You quickly glance at where the chair went and see it being held within a turquoise aura—mere moments away from crashing into a wall; the chair faces away from you.
  1054. >As you wipe the sweat from your brow, you see Starlight peek at you from atop the headrest; she gives you an apologetic grin and dissipates her magical aura.
  1055. >"Ahahah…sorry Anon. Guess I got a little carried away…"
  1056. >You walk over to her and the chair.
  1057. "It's alright; as long as you're not hurt. Come on, let's put this thing away."
  1058. >Once you reach Starlight, you grab the chair by an arm and spin it around so that she faces you.
  1059. >She looks at you with shock.
  1060. >"Wait, what did you just do?"
  1061. >Oh no.
  1062. >Starlight gives the chair a curious look, then her horn lights up again.
  1063. >The chair spins slightly.
  1064. >"Wh-whoa!"
  1065. >Her horn continues to glow, and the chair's revolution continues to increase in speed; she and the chair soon become a spinning blur.
  1066. >You see her raise her forelegs, pointing them towards the ceiling in a gesture of childish glee as she continues to amuse herself with your swivelling chair.
  1067. >"Woo!"
  1068. >After watching the chair rotate for a few more seconds, you grab it by the headrest, stopping it.
  1069. "Gonna have to stop you there, Glimmy. Don't think it'll benefit either of us to have you get dizzy and puke on my chair."
  1070. >"Aw…" She pouts, lowering her forelegs.
  1071. "Now come on—let's put my chair away already."
  1072. >"Your chair?" She raises an eyebrow at you.
  1073. >You squint your eyes at her.
  1074. "Yes."
  1075. >Her horn lights up once more; she slides the chair past you, rotating it along the way so she can maintain eye contact with you.
  1076. >You have to admit, you're impressed with how much chair-fu she's picked up in such a short time—but you're less impressed with her attitude right now.
  1077. >You sigh as you follow her to the other side of your room, where she stops her chair against the wall.
  1078. "Glimmy…come on."
  1079. >"I don't know, Anon. This chair is reeeaaallyyy"—she wiggles into the backseat, happily humming to herself—"comfy! And you want to keep it all for yourself? That doesn't sound right."
  1080. "It *is* right. This chair is clearly too powerful for Ponykind to handle."
  1081. >"Is that so? I like to think I'm handling it pretty well. In fact…"
  1082. >She rests an elbow on an armrest, angling her forehoof upwards.
  1083. >"I think I could use a chair like this in *my* room."
  1084. >She leans into her raised forehoof and rests her head on it.
  1085. >And then she smirks at you.
  1086. >"Maybe I'll keep it for myself."
  1087. >Oh that's it.
  1088. "If that's how it is,"—you roll up your sleeves—"you leave me no choice."
  1089. >"Oh~?"
  1090. >You move in close and lean in from above, looking down upon her.
  1091. >She reclines back into the chair, craning her neck upwards to look back at you; her breathing quickens.
  1092. >You crack your knuckles; she eyes your hands intently.
  1093. >Your hands soon close in on her…
  1094. >And you tickle the living daylights out of her.
  1095. >…
  1096. >The two of you would later settle on a compromise to share the chair.
  1097.  
  1098. ***
  1099.  
  1100. - 22 - Artificially Glim - (01/02/24)
  1101. >Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer are engaged in a conversation of some kind within the Friendship Castle's library.
  1102. >They're probably talking about "friendship" or "magic" or something else along those lines.
  1103. >Whatever it is, they seem invested; it's a shame that such conversational bliss is about to be interrupted by the likes of you.
  1104. >But you have a very good reason for doing so.
  1105. >You walk up to them with purpose in every stride.
  1106. "Twilight." You nod to the alicorn.
  1107. "…Starlight." You nod to the…other one.
  1108. >"Hey Anon!" Twilight greets you. "How are you doing today?"
  1109. >Starlight nods at you with a smile.
  1110. "Fine. Just. Peachy."
  1111. >"I'm glad to hear it. Me and Starlight were just—"
  1112. >You raise your hand and loudly clear your throat.
  1113. "Hold that thought, Twilight."
  1114. >"Huh? Is something wrong?" Twilight tilts her head.
  1115. "You could say that…"
  1116. >Your eyes have not left Starlight ever since you walked up to these two ponies.
  1117. "This Starlight,"—you point to the mare in question—"this Starlight right here."
  1118. >Twilight glances at her, then back to you.
  1119. "She's a fake—a pale imitation."
  1120. >"What?!" Starlight replies, recoiling in offence.
  1121. >"Yeah! What?!" Twilight stamps her hoof. "How could you say that, Anon?! Starlight's our friend!"
  1122. "She is—which is exactly why I know she's a fake."
  1123. >"Anon, if this is a joke—it's really not funny." Starlight looks at you with hurt in her eyes.
  1124. >Twilight nods in agreement.
  1125. >You shake your own head in disappointment; you'd figure Twilight would have a keener eye than this, but it looks like it's up to you to bring the bacon of proof.
  1126. "I'm dead serious. I've seen more than my fair share of Glimmers; I'm what you would call an expert in the field of Glimmer—a Glimologist, if you will."
  1127. >Twilight rolls her eyes.
  1128. >You crouch down and scrutinise Starlight further.
  1129. >Glancing at her curled mane, you see that it's comprised of a balanced blend of purple and turquoise; the colours are combined perfectly—too perfectly.
  1130. "Look at her mane; doesn't it look off to you, Twilight?"
  1131. >"Her…mane. It looks off?"
  1132. "Yes."
  1133. >You poke it, which elicits a "Hey!" from Starlight.
  1134. "It's too…detailed, too fluffy. And her signature curl is curved completely different."
  1135. >You side-eye Twilight.
  1136. "Come on, Twilight—how can you *not* notice these crucial details?"
  1137. >Twilight shoots you an unamused look.
  1138. >"You mean to tell me that you think Starlight is a fake…because her mane is pointing in a different direction?"
  1139. >You sigh.
  1140. "And the texture, and the colours, hell—even the smell; her mane smells…"
  1141. >You sniff around her mane, then wrinkle your nose.
  1142. "…Artificial."
  1143.  
  1144. >Starlight huffs.
  1145. >"So I used a different brand of mane conditioner this morning—so what? I can style my mane however I want."
  1146. "Sure, sure…"
  1147. >The mane approach isn't working; you're going to have to try a different tactic.
  1148. >From what you remember—these fakers always fumble their disguises when it comes to their cutie marks.
  1149. >You stand up and lean to the side, trying to get a good look at her flank.
  1150. >Starlight sees your calculated movements and rolls her eyes.
  1151. >"What is it now?"
  1152. "I noticed that you've been keeping your cutie mark out of view." You cross your arms. "Got something to hide?"
  1153. >"What? No I'm not." She turns to the side and flicks her mane in your direction. "Go ahead—knock yourself out."
  1154. >You squint at her cutie mark.
  1155. >It's a magical star with two green trails.
  1156. >Definitely Starlight's.
  1157. "Hm…"
  1158. >"Well?"
  1159. "It…well, it certainly *looks* like Starlight's cutie mark."
  1160. >"That's because it *is,* Anon," Twilight grumbles at you.
  1161. "Perhaps, perhaps… But…"
  1162. >You lean back and make a finger frame with your hands with Starlight's cutie mark as the focus.
  1163. "I'm not entirely convinced; maybe it's a newer model or something. Or…hm…maybe you used inpainting to get it right?"
  1164. >"So you're saying that I painted over my cutie mark?" Starlight raises an eyebrow.
  1165. >Twilight gasps.
  1166. >"Anonymous! What is *with* you today?! Starlight would *never* do something like that! She's moved past that part of her life!"
  1167. >"Yeah!" Starlight nods in agreement.
  1168. "No, I said 'inpainting,' not 'painting.' There's a difference."
  1169. >"I don't care! Anon—you're being really insensitive right now! You should apologise to Starlight!"
  1170. "I'll never apologise to a fake."
  1171. >Twilight grits her teeth.
  1172. "Another thing: this entire scene,"—you wildly gesture around the room—"it isn't right."
  1173. >"My…my *castle* isn't good enough for you now?!"
  1174. "Not when it's clearly being faked."
  1175. >You walk up to a nearby crystalline pillar and trace your finger downwards.
  1176. "Look at this pillar, for example. It's"—your finger reaches the floor—"clearly merged with the floor in an unnatural way."
  1177. >You turn back to the duo.
  1178. "If this architecture was real, there'd be a clear divide between the pillar and the floor."
  1179. >Twilight is shaking slightly; Starlight just looks confused.
  1180. >"That pillar," Twilight states through gritted teeth, "has *always* been like that! I would *know!* I've lived here for several years!"
  1181. "Oh? Still not enough proof for you? Then how about this?"
  1182. >Striding over to a nearby bookshelf, you grab a random book open it.
  1183. >You point to the gobbledygook letters written on the pages.
  1184. "And what the hell is this nonsense?!"
  1185. >Twilight briefly glances at the words; her eye twitches.
  1186. >"That's…that's Standard Equestrian, Anon."
  1187. "More like Standard Nonsense. Are you seriously not seeing this, Twilight? This all points towards Starlight being a complete fak—"
  1188. >"That is ENOUGH!" Twilight shouts.
  1189.  
  1190. >She takes a low stance, eyes full of rage.
  1191. >"First you insult my friend, then you insult my castle, and now you…you…"
  1192. >She grinds her teeth together.
  1193. >"You insult my BOOKS!" She loudly stamps her hoof, making you and Starlight jump.
  1194. >"I don't know what's gotten into you, Anon. But you need to leave, now."
  1195. "Really, Twilight? You're really gonna defend this slop? I expected better from you."
  1196. >"S-slop…?"
  1197. >Her horn sparks up.
  1198. >Before anything else can happen, another Starlight trots into the room.
  1199. >"Guys, is everything alright in here? I heard yelling and…uh…"
  1200. >Starlight Glimmer stops in her tracks as she glances at the unlikely trio of your natural magnificence, a Twilight about to go postal, and the fake Starlight.
  1201. >Her eyes focus onto the fake Starlight.
  1202. "Oh, hey Glimmy."
  1203. >"Hey… Why is there another me here?"
  1204. >Fake Starlight's eyes nervously flit around.
  1205. >"B-because I…uh…well actually you're the—"
  1206. "Because this one's a fake, obviously. You can tell by the words written on the books." You tap the book in your hand for emphasis.
  1207. >"Huh…" Starlight glares at the faker.
  1208. >There is a tense silence.
  1209. >Then the faker speaks up.
  1210. >"…AGH! Forget this! This isn't worth it! Nopony told me there'd be a paranoid nutjob in here!"
  1211. >The fake Starlight bursts into green flames, revealing some kind of black, chitinous quadruped.
  1212. >It quickly scurries out of a nearby corridor to make its escape.
  1213. >"Hey!" Starlight yells. "Get back here! That was *my* look you were just copying!"
  1214. >She gives chase, leaving you alone with Twilight.
  1215. >You briefly glance at Twilight; she stares at the ground, seemingly lost in thought.
  1216. "Well, my work is done here."
  1217. >You walk away from the scene.
  1218. >"Wait, Anon!"
  1219. >Twilight trots alongside you, giving you a repentant look.
  1220. >"I…I owe you an apology."
  1221. "It's all good; you get used to scepticism in this line of work."
  1222. >"No, really. I was about to fly off the handle back there; that was out of line from me, and I apologise."
  1223. "Hey, as long as you now know about the dangers of fraudsters, then consider it water under the bridge."
  1224. >"Yeah…"
  1225. >She nods solemnly.
  1226. >"By the way, Anon. You were incredible back there. How did you know that she was a changeling?"
  1227. "Changeling?"
  1228. >You stop in your tracks and turn to face Twilight.
  1229. "I just call out aislop when I see it."
  1230.  
  1231. ***
  1232.  
  1233. - 23 - Peacecock [NSFW] - (05/02/24)
  1234. ["SOMEPONY FUCK ME RIGHT NOW OR I WILL DESTROY EQUESTRIA"]
  1235. >You are Anonymous, and you are chilling.
  1236. >There's a mug of delicious apple cider in your left hand.
  1237. >A copy of the "Ponyville Chronicle" in your right.
  1238. >And a nice firm bench under your buttocks.
  1239. >You sit in a public park in Ponyville, enjoying the quiet ambience, the warm sun shining overhead, and the feel of the cool breeze against your face.
  1240. >Nothing could possibly ruin this day.
  1241. >"EXCUSE ME?"
  1242. >Nothing, nothing at all—
  1243. >"Miss, if you would please calm down—"
  1244. >"Oh, OH! You're telling me to CALM DOWN, are you? That's RICH! What was it you called me again? Go on—say it. Say it so everypony around us can hear."
  1245. >You raise your newspaper up to your face and give it your full attention; ignorance is bliss.
  1246. >"M-miss, I didn't call you anything, I just—"
  1247. >You hear the loud thud of a hoof stomping on the dirt.
  1248. >"Oh, you DIDN'T? Because I'm *pretty* sure you called me a STRESS-CASE back there."
  1249. >"N-no! I didn't! I-I just said your eyes made you look a little stressed. That's all! I didn't mean anything bad by it!"
  1250. >You hear cackling.
  1251. >"STRESSED! Haha! That's right! STRESSED! Oh, look at poor, stressy Starlight, always on the verge of another meltdown; let's all look at her and LAUGH!"
  1252. >You hear an "eep!" and the sound of a poor pony being dragged across the dirt.
  1253. >"Do you want to know WHY I'm so STRESSED, huh? Do you? Well? Do you?"
  1254. >"I…I…"
  1255. >"Because I haven't had any DICK in ages! That's right! Go on, everypony—laugh! Poor pathetic MARECEL Starlight can't get ANY stallion to look at her in a favourable light! Well I've had it! I've had enough!"
  1256. >You hear the hurried clopping sounds of another pony galloping onto the scene.
  1257. >"Starlight Glimmer! That is enough! This mare hasn't done anything wrong! Let's all just—"
  1258. >"SHUT UP, TWILIGHT! Everypony here—they all still see the old, evil Starlight. The Starlight who ruled over an entire village with fear and travelled back in time to try and break up the Elements of Harmony! That Starlight! After EVERYTHING I've done for you ungrateful ponies you STILL can't forgive and forget!"
  1259. >"Starlight they don't—"
  1260. >"No! NO! I'm done pretending to be nice—pretending to be 'reformed' if THIS is all of the THANKS and APPRECIATION I get! If all of the ponies here only see EVIL, STRESSED STARLIGHT, then maybe they'll GET—"
  1261. >A purple magical force suddenly rips your newspaper in two.
  1262. "Wha—hey! Who did that? I was reading that!"
  1263. >With your paper shield now rendered obsolete, you are forced to look at the scene a fair distance away from you.
  1264. >Over by the fountain, you see Starlight Glimmer ranting and raving to some poor mare who's whimpering on the ground.
  1265. >Several ponies stand around uncomfortably; all of them look ready to leave, but none of them dare make a move in fear of agitating Starlight even further.
  1266. >Twilight Sparkle stands next to her, and she's staring right at you.
  1267.  
  1268. "It was you, wasn't it?" you mouth at Twilight.
  1269. >She nods.
  1270. >And she flicks her head towards the hysterical Starlight.
  1271. >You shake your head.
  1272. >She then gives you that look.
  1273. >That look that says "you know what you have to do."
  1274. >You give her that "do I really have to?" look.
  1275. >She gives you that "you better fix this mess right now or I'm telling Princess Celestia *and* Pinkie Pie about your little cake-laundering business" look.
  1276. "Son of a bitch…"
  1277. >So you begrudgingly give her the "okay, fuck, fine. I'll do it" look.
  1278. >You throw your shredded newspaper to the wind.
  1279. "Hold my beer," you say to the smiling minty green unicorn that you've only just noticed was standing suspiciously close to you this entire time.
  1280. >"Oh, uh, sure!" She magically grabs your mug of cider.
  1281. >You get off the bench and stomp over to Starlight's location, ignoring the loud gulping noise coming from behind you.
  1282. >On your way over, you unbutton your shirt, tossing it to the side.
  1283. >Then comes the pants; after unzipping your fly, you pull them down and kick them to the side.
  1284. >And finally, your boxers; after pulling them down too, you hold them up in one hand.
  1285. >You're like Clark Kent disrobing his civilian guise in order to become the Man of Steel.
  1286. >But in your case—there's only one part of you that's as hard as metal right now.
  1287. >You make your way over to Starlight; she still screaming at that poor mare and hasn't noticed you yet.
  1288. >So you clear your throat.
  1289. "Hey Starlight."
  1290. >She sharply pivots to face you.
  1291. >"What—"
  1292. "Catch." You toss your boxers at her.
  1293. >They land on her face.
  1294. >"Ugh! What do YOU think you're playing…at…?" She sniffs through the fabric and her tail flags.
  1295. >You take the opportunity provided by your distraction to walk up close to her; you squat down in front of her.
  1296. >Starlight shakes her head, throwing the boxers off.
  1297. >She glares at you.
  1298. >"Do you think throwing your dirty undergarments at me is going to magically fix the years of mistreatment I've had to deal with from this town?! Huh?! Because…because…"
  1299. >Her eyes drift downwards to your exposed dick, and her nostrils flare out.
  1300. >"Uh…"
  1301. "No, I don't. But I know what will."
  1302. >You wrap your arms around her and grab her.
  1303. >"Ah!"
  1304. "Alright, up you go."
  1305. >You stand up, bringing her up with you.
  1306. >"H-hey! What do you think you're doing!"
  1307. "You, obviously."
  1308.  
  1309. >"O-oh…I-I…um…"
  1310. >You flip her around and shift your grip on her, holding her up against your chest by her hind legs to restrain her in a full nelson position.
  1311. >Starlight's breathing quickens in anticipation; she gulps.
  1312. >You give one sidelong glance to Twilight; she gives you a slow nod back.
  1313. >You look back to Starlight.
  1314. "Welp, brace yourself."
  1315. >You align your rod with her entrance.
  1316. >"H-hey!" Starlight yelps.
  1317. >You drop her onto your dick, burying yourself to the hilt.
  1318. >"Ooh~!"
  1319. >You begin to bounce her atop your length, thrusting into her with a heated passion.
  1320. >Her walls desperately and greedily contract around you.
  1321. >You pull out nearly all the way, teasing her labia with your tip, and then you thrust all the way back in, hilting once more.
  1322. >And every time you do so, her body shudders in pleasure.
  1323. >Her breathing slowly becomes more and more ragged over time.
  1324. >"Ah~ Oh! Anon! Aaanooon~! Mmph!"
  1325. >You slow down as she reaches her climax.
  1326. >Throwing her head back, Starlight cums, projectile squirting a few feet forward.
  1327. >Thankfully, you had the common sense to aim Starlight away from the fountain.
  1328. >But not enough sense to aim her away from that mare that Starlight was harassing earlier.
  1329. >You watch as Starlight's marejuice splashes onto the still-cowering mare.
  1330. >Oops.
  1331. >Anyway, Starlight might have finished, but you sure haven't.
  1332. >And you're not about to leave a job half-baked.
  1333. >Redoubling your efforts, you begin thrusting into her again.
  1334. >Your sudden movements surprise Starlight, causing her to gasp out.
  1335. >"Oh! I—Oh~!"
  1336. >You continue to pound away at her, bringing orgasm after orgasm out of her—squirt after squirt.
  1337. >And with every climax you bring, the deeper you bury those violent impulses inside her.
  1338. >Eventually, you feel your own eruption boiling over.
  1339. >And so, with a triumphant grunt, you bury yourself to the hilt one last time and fire off load after load deep inside her.
  1340. >The sensation sends you buckling to your knees, although you still manage to maintain your grip on Starlight.
  1341. >Your bodies convulse against one another and your breathing becomes ragged.
  1342. >Feeling yourself going limp, your dick flops out of Starlight's well-fucked folds; your combined lovejuices spill out onto the ground below.
  1343. >"Hah…hah…"
  1344. >You take a few moments to catch your own breath, before addressing her.
  1345. "Are you ready to behave now, Starlight?
  1346. >"Mm…"
  1347. >She rubs the back of her head against your chest and cranes her neck to smile up at you.
  1348. >"I-I'll be goo~ood, Anon. I prooomiiise~"
  1349. "You better."
  1350. >You look around; most of the crowd has dispersed.
  1351. >Keyword: "most."
  1352. >You turn your head to look at Twilight.
  1353. >And you raise an eyebrow at her.
  1354. "…Why are you still here, Twilight?"
  1355. >"I like to watch." She smiles at you.
  1356. >"I like to watch too!" the green unicorn from earlier shouts at you; she's sitting on the bench, sipping from your mug of apple cider.
  1357. >You frown.
  1358. >Fucking unicorns.
  1359.  
  1360. ***
  1361.  
  1362. - 24 - The Pick-me-up - (10/02/24)
  1363. >Starlight Glimmer has recently been appointed as the new Headmare of the School of Friendship by the old one—Twilight Sparkle.
  1364. >From guidance counsellor to running to the whole shebang—it's quite the career change, one filled with a slew of new and exciting obligations.
  1365. >Such obligations include keeping the curriculum up to date, organising school events, interviewing and hiring new staff, and—of course—following the ever-changing set of emergency protocols for whenever Discord decides to visit.
  1366. >To say the sudden flood of responsibilities swamped the poor mare is nothing short of an understatement.
  1367. >Sure, she has experience in running an isolated town in a meticulously-controlled environment, but when it comes to managing a turbulent school filled with students from all walks of life?
  1368. >All bets are off.
  1369. >The newly-appointed Vice-Headmare—Sunburst—has taken on his own share of work.
  1370. >And Trixie is…doing Trixie things.
  1371. >For your part, you've been helping Starlight acclimate to her new role as best as you can, assisting her when and where possible.
  1372. >But you could see the stress that her workflow was taking on her.
  1373. >Drooping eyebags, slurred speech, occasional bouts of spacing out—all of that not-so-good stuff and more.
  1374. >You left her office just last night, making sure to gently remind her not to overdo it.
  1375. >But you know Starlight, and you *especially* know of her tendency to overwork herself when faced with an ever-increasing number of responsibilities.
  1376. >So here you are in the School of Friendship during the early hours of the morning; you stand in front of the door to Headmare Starlight's office.
  1377. >From what you've gathered from students and colleagues: no-one has seen Starlight leave the school since yesterday.
  1378. >So naturally, you're a little worried about her.
  1379. >You knock on the door.
  1380. "Hey Starlight? I'm here to check up on you!"
  1381. >There's no answer.
  1382. "Starlight? You in there?"
  1383. >There's no response.
  1384. >So you knock again.
  1385. >Still no answer *or* response.
  1386. "Hm."
  1387. >After knocking a third time, you decide that three is your magic number.
  1388. >So you back up, ready to bust the door down and save the girl just like in your heroic action flicks.
  1389. >But then you realise that you should probably check the door to see if it's unlocked first.
  1390. >You check the door—it is indeed unlocked.
  1391. >Phew, almost did something regrettable, there.
  1392.  
  1393. >You open the door and head inside Starlight's office.
  1394. >The room is a large and very tall rotunda; it was previously Twilight's office, and now it's Starlight's.
  1395. >Lining the edges of this grandiose room are towering cabinets and shelves that are filled to the brim with all sorts of doo-dads and knick-knacks.
  1396. >There are a decent number of kites hanging off from the the bottom of the second floor balustrades, and a giant, garish portrait of Trixie hangs on one of the walls; it's clear that Starlight has had no issue getting settled in her new office—on the physical side of things, at least.
  1397. >You see Starlight's desk on the far side of the room; on that desk—you see that philodendron plant she loves so much, a quill in an inkwell, a coffee mug, and a *fat* stack of paperwork.
  1398. "Starlight! Where are—"
  1399. >And poking out from just behind the desk, you see a lilac hoof on the floor.
  1400. >A surge of adrenaline rushes through your body.
  1401. "Oh God, no!"
  1402. >Quickly making your way over to the desk, you see the rest of Starlight lying on the floor behind the desk, unconscious.
  1403. >You crouch down next to her and wrap an arm behind her upper body, carefully propping her up.
  1404. "Starlight!"
  1405. >You cautiously run a hand around her head, checking for any injuries that may have arisen from suddenly passing out.
  1406. >Thankfully, she doesn't appear to be hurt.
  1407. >As you sigh in relief, Starlight shifts slightly.
  1408. >"Mmrgh…"
  1409. "Starlight! Speak to me!"
  1410. >Her eyes weakly flutter open in response to your words; hazy though her vision may be, her persian blue eyes soon settle on your face.
  1411. >"N-need…"
  1412. >Her voice is frail and barely-audible, causing you to lean towards her with your head turned sideways so you can hear her better.
  1413. "Yeah…?"
  1414. >"Need coffee…"
  1415. "Coffee? Uh…"
  1416. >You scan the top of Starlight's desk.
  1417. >The coffee mug is still there; not only that, it's still filled with coffee.
  1418. >Considering how full it is, you'd wager that she wasn't able to get to her latest hit of caffeine on time before her lucidity gave up on her.
  1419. >You grab it; it's gone cold, but beggars can't be choosers.
  1420. "Here." You show the mug to her.
  1421. >She wordlessly parts her lips in response, and you take that as the go ahead to gently position the mug up to her snout.
  1422. >You angle it slightly so she can leisurely gulp the coffee down.
  1423. >A soft *glug glug glug* graces your ears for a few moments before she manages to finish the contents of the mug.
  1424. >As you move the mug away from her and place it back on the desk, she coughs.
  1425. >"Blurgh…cold…"
  1426. "And who's fault is that, eh?"
  1427. >"Friendship…uuurgh…"
  1428. >You roll your eyes.
  1429. "Anything else?"
  1430. >"Phyllis…"
  1431. >Scanning the desk once more, you quickly spy her potted philodendron plant—affectionately named "Phyllis."
  1432. >Taking the pot in your hand, you present it to her.
  1433. "Here he—"
  1434. >"She," Starlight is quick to correct you.
  1435. "*She* is."
  1436.  
  1437. >You slowly lower the plant down to her, but her horn lights up with a faint turquoise glow, and she magically carries Phyllis the rest of the way.
  1438. >Once the plant is close enough, she wraps her forelegs around the pot in a tight hug.
  1439. >She affectionately nuzzles Phyllis's leaves, making a high-pitched mewling sound as she does.
  1440. >"Mm… Mommy missed her baby…"
  1441. >You expertly suppress any of your awkward chuckles that threaten to surface while Starlight reconnects with her "baby."
  1442. >After an uncomfortably long period of parent-plant bonding passes, Starlight releases Phyllis and gently levitates it back onto the desk.
  1443. >She then looks back to you.
  1444. >"Anon…"
  1445. "Yeah? What else do you need?"
  1446. >"Anon…" She reaches out a hoof and weakly paws at your chest.
  1447. "I don't—"
  1448. >Your eyes widen slightly as you catch on to what she's inferring.
  1449. "Oh. Er…here, then."
  1450. >You hook your other arm under her body and pick her up, making your way over to the chair next to the desk.
  1451. >After you sit down on the chair, you sit Starlight on your lap, cradling her against your chest.
  1452. >She coos in contentment, closing her eyes and nuzzling against you.
  1453. >"Mm…missed you too…"
  1454. "It's only been a night."
  1455. >"Too long…"
  1456. >A smile forms on your lips as you tenderly pat through her mane.
  1457. >You look back at the desk, noting the towering pile of scrolls and sheets placed on top.
  1458. "You've certainly got a *lot* of paperwork up here."
  1459. >"It's friendship…"
  1460. "Friendship?" You raise an eyebrow.
  1461. >"*All* the friendship…"
  1462. "Ah…"
  1463. >The poor mare has been working herself ragged these past few days, and you have a pretty good idea as to why.
  1464. "Hey, Glimmy—I know you're trying your best to live up to Twilight's legacy as Headmare, but don't forget to give yourself some time to relax, alright?"
  1465. >She weakly groans, scrunching her snout.
  1466. >"But the friendship and the…mm…friendship."
  1467. >You sigh in response to her sleepy stubbornness.
  1468. >Her forelegs are curled up close to her chest, which steadily rises and falls against yours.
  1469. >She looks like she's ready to fall back asleep any moment now.
  1470. >You take one more look at the paperwork before addressing Starlight.
  1471. "So…you spent all night going through all this paperwork?"
  1472. >"Mm…"
  1473. "And you didn't give yourself any breaks?"
  1474. >"Mm…"
  1475. "And that caused you to pass out in the middle of the night?"
  1476. >"Mm…"
  1477. "And because of that—you're gonna take the rest of the day off so you can recuperate?"
  1478. >She opens her mouth to protest, but you sneak in a couple of fingers behind one of her ears and give her a few scritches.
  1479. >Your ministrations convince her to close her mouth.
  1480. >"…Mm…"
  1481. "Atta girl."
  1482. >With that, you begin to hear the noises of a softly snoring Starlight as she gently drifts off into slumberland within your grasp; you smile.
  1483. >Running an entire school certainly isn't going to be a walk in the park by any stretch.
  1484. >But just as Twilight's friends were there for her—you'll be there for Starlight, every step of the way.
  1485.  
  1486. ***
  1487.  
  1488. - 25 - Bump Bump Bump [NSFW] - (12/02/24)
  1489. [Horny Glimmy prompt thread lives for a bit too long; Anon is disgruntled]
  1490. >*Bump*
  1491. >Ah, /mlp/—an entire board dedicated to your favourite show.
  1492. >*Bump*
  1493. >What was once a place of containment to siphon off the cancer from the rest of the website has blossomed into something that's now in a league of its own.
  1494. >*Bump*
  1495. >With a rich flow of various topics being posted to the board every day, it's like—
  1496. >*Bump*
  1497. "Tch…"
  1498. >—it's like a circle of life; the old, depreciated topics with no discussion left in them fall off the bottom of page ten, and—
  1499. >*Bump*
  1500. "Gah…"
  1501. >—and that…and that makes room for new topics, bringing in new discussion and—
  1502. >*Bump*
  1503. "FUCK!"
  1504. >You calm yourself, taking a few deep breaths.
  1505. >In…out…
  1506. >In…out…
  1507. >…Okay? Okay.
  1508. >So, there are the generals, but—
  1509. >*Bump*
  1510. "YOU!"
  1511. >That despicable horse—Starlight Glimmer—stops what she's doing to look at you.
  1512. >"Hm? What is it, Anon?"
  1513. "Stop bumping that shitty-ass thread!"
  1514. >"Huh, this one?"
  1515. >*Bump*
  1516. "YES—that one! Just…just fucking let it fall off page ten already!"
  1517. >"But I like it…" She frowns at you.
  1518. >You glance at the thread that she has been incessantly bumping back to the front page again and again.
  1519. >It's one where Starlight Glimmer begs for sex or she'll destroy Equestria or some shit.
  1520. >You scoff; of *course* she fucking likes it, the degenerate.
  1521. >And to make matters worse—some writefags actually gave the purple menace what she desired.
  1522. >When will those poor, deluded souls learn—the sex only makes her needier and hornier.
  1523. >*Bump*
  1524. "Agh—stop it! That thread has run its course!"
  1525. >"But what if a writer posts another greentext? I like reading those."
  1526. "I just told you—all of the writefags have left! Look—all they're doing is arguing about whether you're fucking Sunburst or not."
  1527. >"Ooh, Trixie's there too!"
  1528. >*Bump*
  1529. "I don't give a SHIT who's there! There's *nothing* left to talk about—content's dried up! Let it fucking DIE!"
  1530. >"But I'm still horny!"
  1531. >You roll your eyes.
  1532. "Tough luck. Deal with that shit on your own time."
  1533. >"So mean…" She pouts.
  1534. "And I can be so much meaner. Get over it; this board isn't your personal cum jar."
  1535. >She huffs in frustration, but a small, ominous smirk begins to form on her lips.
  1536. >"Is that so…"
  1537. >Her smirk continues to grow and grow as she reaches out her forehoof and…
  1538. "No. Don't you fucking do it—"
  1539. >*Bump*
  1540. "No!"
  1541. >You look back at the catalog and gasp.
  1542. "You…you just killed my Equestria Girls thread, you fucking bitch!"
  1543. >"Ooh… Such a shame…"
  1544. >*Bump*
  1545. "No! My bait thread! Fuck! It didn't even get any replies!"
  1546. >"Hm…maybe you should've picked some *juicier* bait?"
  1547. >*Bump*
  1548. >Your eyes shoot open.
  1549. "My…my cuntboy stallion thread…no…"
  1550. >She momentarily stops her bumping to give you a concerned look.
  1551. >"Um…okay?"
  1552.  
  1553. "You…you heartless cunt!"
  1554. >"Gee, Anon. I'm not the one killing those threads; I'm just bumping this one."
  1555. "If you weren't bumping this dead-ass thread, one of those other threads would still be alive!"
  1556. >Her smirk returns.
  1557. >"Oh, you mean like this~?"
  1558. >*Bump*
  1559. >You shoot her a wrathful, watery-eyed glare; you've had enough.
  1560. "T-that's fucking IT!" you scream.
  1561. >Without wasting any more time, you lunge at her, tackling her to the floor.
  1562. >"Ah!"
  1563. >Pinning her back to the floor, you restrain her forehooves with your own hands, gripping them with a fierce resolve.
  1564. >She gasps.
  1565. >"O-oh, Anon! T-this is…!"
  1566. >Yeah, you're engaging in unprotected, hand-to-hoof contact with your arch-nemesis right now.
  1567. >You can feel the sweaty palm of each of your hands pressing deeply against the frog of each of her hooves.
  1568. >Not only that, but with your bodies so close to one another, you can feel the rise and fall of her chest against yours.
  1569. >And how her hot marely breath washes over your neckline.
  1570. >It's fucking nasty, but you know that this has to be done.
  1571. >You look down at her.
  1572. "There,"—you tighten your grip around her forehooves—"no more bumping."
  1573. >A deep shade of red crosses her cheeks, yet she never breaks her infuriatingly smug smirk.
  1574. >"So…what now?"
  1575. >Shit, you didn't think that far ahead.
  1576. "I'll…I'll stay here as long as it takes for that fucking thread to fall off."
  1577. >"But that means you'll be here for hours~"
  1578. "That's a sacrifice I'm willing to make for the good of the board."
  1579. >"Hm…as much as I love that idea…"
  1580. >She giggles and lids her eyes at you.
  1581. >"I think you're forgetting something, Anon. Just because you've stopped my hooves doesn't mean I can't"—she lightly pushes her body up against yours—"bump~"
  1582. "Huh?"
  1583. >Her horn lights up, and—
  1584. "Wait—"
  1585. >*Bump*
  1586. "No!"
  1587. >You don't look at the catalog—you can't bear to see another fallen comrade.
  1588. >*Bump*
  1589. "NO!"
  1590. >*Bump*
  1591. "STOP IT!"
  1592. >"Make me~"
  1593. >*Bump*
  1594. >Fuck, what can you do?
  1595. >Suck on her horn—stop the magic coming out?
  1596. >God, that's gay as fuck, and you ain't no gaylord.
  1597. >You're a cuntboy enjoyer, and that shit's straight as hell.
  1598. >No… You know what needs to be done; you know what you have to do—
  1599. >*Bump*
  1600. "That's it," you growl.
  1601. >"Mm~?"
  1602. >You take your hands off of Starlight's hooves for a moment to unbuckle your undergarments.
  1603. >Your pants quickly come off.
  1604. >Starlight makes no move to escape; instead, she gazes at you attentively as you bare your all to her.
  1605. >Once your boxers come off, your erection springs to action in front of her.
  1606. >You are at full mast.
  1607. >But this is not an erection of tawdry arousal.
  1608. >It is one of righteous fury—of furious vengeance for the threads you have lost this day.
  1609. >Starlight bites her lip as she eyes your dick over.
  1610. >"Mmph… What's *that* for?"
  1611. "This"—you place your hands on your hips—"is to teach you a lesson."
  1612.  
  1613. >"A lesson…?"
  1614. >She tilts her head and flicks her tail.
  1615. >"What for~?"
  1616. >Her sing-song voice instinctively causes you to move in closer and closer.
  1617. >Pinning her down once more, you rest your hands at her sides.
  1618. >Then, you position your tip against the opening of her impatiently-winking mare pussy.
  1619. "You know what for."
  1620. >She huffs.
  1621. >"I dooon't… Why don't you remind me…?"
  1622. >You slowly rub your sceptre against the folds of her vulva, teasing her just enough to bring out several moans from her.
  1623. >"Nngh, come on…"
  1624. >You can feel her tail eagerly flicking from side to side, batting between your thighs.
  1625. >Frustrated as she is, she appears to have forgotten about her prior provocations.
  1626. >If you can distract her long enough, maybe you won't have to—
  1627. >"Oh!" She suddenly exclaims. "You mean thiiis…?"
  1628. >*Bump*
  1629. "You!"
  1630. >Your emotions take hold of you as you drive your dick straight into her depths.
  1631. >"O-oh~!" she gasps out.
  1632. >Arching your back, you're able to hilt yourself in her warm, wet insides in no time at all.
  1633. >You're so deep in her that you can feel yourself pressing against something solid.
  1634. "Heh…" A smirk forms on your face.
  1635. >This bitch thinks she can bump threads willy-nilly?
  1636. >Then you'll bump her womb with *your* willy.
  1637. "This…"
  1638. >You pull all out nearly all the way, leaving just the tip inside.
  1639. "…is for all of the threads you've bumped off the catalog!"
  1640. >And you thrust all the way back in.
  1641. >"A-ah~!"
  1642. >She mewls and moans under your weight as you punish her thoroughly, repeatedly, messily.
  1643. >It doesn't take long before her belligerent *bumping* sounds are completely replaced by the passionate *plapping* sounds of you pounding her provocative pony pussy.
  1644. "The prompt threads!"
  1645. >*Plap*
  1646. "The show discussion threads!"
  1647. >*Plap*
  1648. "The niche mare threads!"
  1649. >*Plap*
  1650. "Fuck—even the Pony Life threads! TAKE IT ALL!"
  1651. >*Plap plap plap*
  1652. >And with that, you give her womb a final, deeply personal *bump* as you fill her up with righteous goo.
  1653. >You look down at her—she shudders and shakes against your body, letting out a loud whinny as she hits her own orgasm.
  1654. >At some point, you must have interlocked your fingers with her hooves once more, as you grip them tightly.
  1655. >But fuck it; it's far too late to back out now.
  1656. >You give her a few more tempered thrusts as you drain the rest of your balls inside her.
  1657. >"Oooh~"
  1658. >Eventually, you dispense all of the liquid justice you have in the tank, and you pull out of her with a satisfying *plop.*
  1659. >You let go of her hooves and step back to admire your handiwork.
  1660. >Starlight's forelegs languidly lie upon her chest, which heaves up and down as she recovers from the poignant pounding that you just gave her.
  1661. >Her thoroughly-punished pussy still squirts out some of your combined fluids.
  1662. >One of her hind legs occasionally twitches, kicking at the air.
  1663. "Hmph, let this be a lesson to you—leave those dead-ass threads alone!"
  1664. >"Nngh…"
  1665. >You walk away, a job well done—
  1666. >*Bump*
  1667.  
  1668. ***
  1669.  
  1670. - 26 - Hearts and Kites - (14/02/24)
  1671. >It's Hearts and Hooves Day—also known as Valentine's Day back on your home world.
  1672. >You're spending it with…Starlight Glimmer, of course.
  1673. >And what better way to spend the most date-iest of dates than by indulging in your favourite shared hobby—kites!
  1674. >To that end, the two of you are setting up a kite outside.
  1675. >But it's not just any kite—no, this is a special one for a special occasion.
  1676. >It's a larger-than-usual kite, which naturally requires a larger-than-usual patch of land to properly launch it.
  1677. >So here you stand—in a nice, open, grassy field with no pesky obstructions to block your kite's flight zone.
  1678. >The afternoon sun shines down upon you, and there's a decent wind blowing.
  1679. >The kite in question lies flat on the ground several metres away.
  1680. >Starlight Glimmer stands to your right, and the both of you hold a circular strap each; both straps have a kite line attached to them that connect to the same kite's bridle, with yours connected to the left side, and hers to the right.
  1681. >You hold your strap in your hand while Starlight casually levitates hers in front of herself.
  1682. >"Okay! Anon, is your line secure?" She magically wiggles her line.
  1683. "Yep, ready to fly." You physically wiggle yours back.
  1684. >"Great! Let's take a couple steps back, and…"
  1685. >Following her instructions, the two of you step backwards, gently tugging at the kite to pull it into an upright position.
  1686. >Starlight hums excitedly.
  1687. >"Alright, next step! On the count of three, we both take a quick step back and pull our lines downwards at the same time. Sound good?"
  1688. "Gotcha."
  1689. >She nods at you and turns back to the kite.
  1690. >"One…"
  1691. >"Two…"
  1692. >"Three!"
  1693. >And with that, you take a step backwards while pulling the kite line down to your side in one smooth motion; Starlight performs a similar manoeuvre, matching your momentum.
  1694. >Your combined efforts launch the kite into the sky; from there, it rapidly rises higher and higher, flitting from left to right as it whizzes about to the whims of the wind.
  1695. >Since the both of you are controlling the same kite, keeping it steady while it ascends is proving to be a tricky trial.
  1696. >"Okay…okay…oh!"
  1697. >But with a little of help from Starlight's magic, she keeps the kite steady, giving it gentle nudges when necessary to prevent it from making a U-turn directly into the ground.
  1698. >"Hold on…!"
  1699. >At the same time, she also manages to keep her kite strap in line with yours, further maintaining the kite's stability.
  1700. >She truly is a master at her craft. It's a challenge in of itself to stop staring at her in her element; you need to do your part to keep the kite steady.
  1701. >But soon enough, the kite rises to an area of lower wind power, allowing it to stabilise into a mostly-neutral position.
  1702. >"There! Haha! We did it!" she cheers.
  1703. >She turns to you, triumphantly beaming.
  1704. >"Anon! We did it!"
  1705. >You chuckle and give her a few gentle pats on her withers with your free hand.
  1706. "That we did. Nice work, Glimmy."
  1707.  
  1708. >Now that the kite is fully functional and flying, you can truly appreciate its majestic form in full.
  1709. >Fitting the romantic theme of today, the kite is coloured bright pink, and it's shaped like a giant heart—the symbol, not the biological organ, of course.
  1710. >A sense of pride washes over you as you watch the kite soar in the sky; you and Starlight spent many hours putting this baby together, so you get a victorious feeling finally watching it take flight.
  1711. >There's also a message etched across the kite body; it's large enough that you can make it out even as the kite floats high above you.
  1712. >It reads:
  1713. >'Nonny <3 Glimmy Five-ever'
  1714. >A delightfully whimsical statement, to be sure, but it's certainly not one you find yourself disagreeing with any time soon.
  1715. >Well, there is one thing; if you had your way—you'd make it a "six-ever," maybe more.
  1716. >But it was Maud Pie that convinced the two of you to upgrade the forever into a "five-ever" during the kite's conceptual stage. When you had asked her if you could make the number even higher—she warned you that such careless arithmetic would have dire consequences on both your kite and your relationship.
  1717. >She spoke with such monotone mundanity that you wasn't sure if she was joking or not.
  1718. >Either way—you'll begrudgingly accept a "five-ever," for now.
  1719. >"Right! Now, let's try to steer it together, Anon! Are you ready?"
  1720. >Ah, right—the steering.
  1721. >The kite you're flying is a dual-line one; as the name suggests—there are two separate kite lines that lead up to the kite's body.
  1722. >This design gives you a greater deal of control over the kite compared to the standard single-line kite, but it also introduces additional complexities in terms of setting it up, controlling it, landing it and so on.
  1723. >These are all complexities that you're willing to challenge in the name of Glimmy, of course.
  1724. >But there's just one more wrinkle in the fabric of your flight plan.
  1725. >Kites are generally meant to be handled by one person—or pony—at a time.
  1726. >So given that you and Starlight are holding a kite line each, manoeuvring this monument to your shared love is likely to prove a monumental task.
  1727. >Still—jolly cooperation and all that.
  1728. >So you nod at Starlight.
  1729. "Yep, ready whenever you are."
  1730. >"Okay—you start us off!"
  1731. >You comply, giving the line a brief pull; as it's the left line, the kite makes a dive to the left.
  1732. >"Mhmm…"
  1733. >Then you reverse your motion, pushing it forwards into a more neutral position, and Starlight gives her own line a brief tug, causing the kite to dive to the right and make a looping turn.
  1734. >She lets out an excited snort at the successful manoeuvre.
  1735. >"That's it… Nice work!"
  1736.  
  1737. >Left and right, left and right—the two of you continue to fly your kite, just like that.
  1738. >Naturally, there are a few close calls here and there, but Starlight's magical prowess makes a wonderful safety net, allowing her to gently nudge the kite in the right direction, restabilising it when needed.
  1739. >As time goes on, the two of you find yourselves growing more and more in sync with each other's movements, to the point where you're even flawlessly coordinating figure-eight loops with the kite.
  1740. >Starlight watches the kite dance in the sky with a gleeful expression.
  1741. >"Hehe! We're doing it, Anon!"
  1742. >You chuckle as you break into a soft smile of your own.
  1743. "Yeah…we are."
  1744. >Her heavenly giggling is interspersed with some excited snorting as she watches the kite bob to-and-fro.
  1745. >You two have built up enough of a rhythm that you are confident enough to take your eyes off of the kite to glance at Starlight for a second.
  1746. >As you do, you see that Starlight is having the time of her life right now.
  1747. >Her eyes sparkle with a pure childlike glee as she is enraptured by the skyward spectacle.
  1748. >Her lilac fur glistens in the sunlight, almost giving her a gentle radiance.
  1749. >Her mane and tail both flow in the breeze like a ethereal curtain.
  1750. >If you didn't know any better, you'd swear you were standing next to a princess—a Princess of Kites.
  1751. >"Oh—watch out! The kite's swerving too far to the right!"
  1752. "Whoa—oops!"
  1753. >You quickly course correct, looping the kite back to the left.
  1754. >Rubbing the back of your neck with your free hand, you apologise.
  1755. "Sorry about that; got a little distracted."
  1756. >She gives you a warm smile.
  1757. >"Hehe, that's okay. Come on! Let's keep going!"
  1758. "Right there with you, Glimmy."
  1759. >And so the two of you spend the rest of the afternoon flying your kite together.
  1760. >Sure, flying a kite this way is far from simple.
  1761. >But every time you glance over at Starlight and catch a glimpse of that adorable, earnest smile of hers…
  1762. >It reminds you that it's all worth it.

Beware the Strawberry Mare

by Glimbrain

Bench Fine

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Club Anonymous

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You have to eat the eggs

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A Glimmer into the Past

by Glimbrain