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/glim/ shorts

By Glimbrain
Created: 2023-11-22 10:59:50
Updated: 2024-05-28 21:14:17
Expiry: Never
anonstarlight glimmernsfw/glim/

  1. Short greens that I wrote up for /glim/ or otherwise revolve around Starlight Glimmer, sorted by date created.
  2. Encased in [square brackets] are the prompts that inspired them, if any.
  3.  
  4. ***
  5.  
  6. Table of Contents
  7.  
  8. Genre tag guide:
  9. [NSFW] - Not Safe For Work
  10. [BORDERLINE] - Not NSFW, but are either highly horny or highly intimate
  11. [COMFY] - Slice of Life stories
  12. [MEME] - Shitposts/silly/meta/glimmy might be a little crazy
  13. [MISC] - Doesn't fall under any of the other categories
  14.  
  15. - 1 - Starlight's Society [MEME]
  16. - 2 - Maybe I can be your Twilight [BORDERLINE] [MEME]
  17. - 3 - Judgement NUT [NSFW] [MEME]
  18. - 4 - The Glim Bump [COMFY] [MEME]
  19. - 5 - Magical Mix-up [MEME]
  20. - 6 - The Cutie Unmarked Crusaders [MISC]
  21. - 7 - Marry the 'light [MEME]
  22. - 8 - Sleeping In [COMFY]
  23. - 9 - Glim Inhibitors Off [BORDERLINE]
  24. - 10 - Glimmy [MEME]
  25. - 11 - Starlight the Christmas Light [COMFY]
  26. - 12 - Tinsel Time [COMFY]
  27. - 13 - New Year's Starlight [COMFY]
  28. - 14 - Taking Care of a Sneezing Starlight [COMFY]
  29. - 15 - Glim Boop Three (Dee) [COMFY] [MEME]
  30. - 16 - A Starlit Pier in Manehattan [COMFY]
  31. - 17 - Book of Magic [COMFY]
  32. - 18 - Scribbles of Software [COMFY]
  33. - 19 - make_glimmy_relax.cc [COMFY]
  34. - 20 - Stop! Glimmer Time! [COMFY]
  35. - 21 - Glim in the Chair [COMFY]
  36. - 22 - Artificially Glim [COMFY] [MEME]
  37. - 23 - Peacecock [NSFW] [MEME]
  38. - 24 - The Pick-me-up [COMFY]
  39. - 25 - Bump Bump Bump [NSFW] [MEME]
  40. - 26 - Hearts and Kites [COMFY]
  41. - 27 - Glimmergeddon [MEME]
  42. - 28 - A Matter of Teleportation [COMFY]
  43. - 29 - Seasonal Quiddities [BORDERLINE]
  44. - 30 - Tuft Stuff [BORDERLINE]
  45. - 31 - A Timely Adjustment [BORDERLINE] [MEME]
  46. - 32 - Healing [BORDERLINE]
  47. - 33 - Mystery of the ___ [COMFY]
  48. - 34 - Boop from Above [COMFY]
  49. - 35 - Excitable Epistaxis [COMFY]
  50. - 36 - A Cuddly Complex [COMFY] [MEME]
  51. - 37 - A Yandere Across Time [BORDERLINE] [MEME]
  52. - 38 - Ice Ice Glimmy [MEME]
  53. - 39 - Glim Glam and Ice Cream [COMFY]
  54. - 40 - The Taste of Glim [MEME]
  55.  
  56. ***
  57.  
  58. - 1 - Starlight's Society [MEME] - (13/10/23)
  59. [Image of Starlight in clown makeup ( https://files.catbox.moe/zpwou4.png ) + first line.]
  60. >"—How about another joke? What do you get when you cross a mentally ill unicorn, with a society that abandons her and treats her like trash?!"
  61. >Starlight stands in front of you, floating a shotgun, ready to do something drastic.
  62. >She's wearing clown makeup.
  63. "Sounds like you get a mare who needs her cuddles."
  64. >"We live in a society, Anonymous! Cuddles can't—"
  65. >Closing the distance, you quickly embrace her.
  66. >She's caught off guard, but she slowly begins to hum in appreciation.
  67. "Feel better?"
  68. >"A bit…
  69. >"B-but Equestria has fallen, Anon! Billions must—"
  70. >You unleash your secret weapon: the cuddles and ear scritches combo.
  71. >"Nnnngh."
  72. "Now come on, let's go home and wash that stuff off, I've got some veggie hot pockets with your name on them."
  73. >"Hot pockets?! Mmm… Okay Anon, let's go."
  74. >She drops the shotgun and the two of you leave, crisis averted.
  75. >Another pony walks up.
  76. >She has a greyscale coat, with three marbles as her cutie mark.
  77. >"Oh, this is convenient!"
  78. >She's also wearing clown makeup.
  79.  
  80. ***
  81.  
  82. - 2 - Maybe I can be your Twilight [BORDERLINE] [MEME] - (20/10/23)
  83. >"W-wait, Anon!"
  84. >You look towards Starlight, she's somehow changed her manecut to Twilight's.
  85. >"Maybe I can be your Twilight for tonight?"
  86. >She grins at you.
  87. "…Talk Booksmart to me."
  88. >She thinks for a moment, before settling on what to say.
  89. >"Hey, Anon! Have you made any new friends today?"
  90. "Nope. I'd rather stay inside. Self-study and focusing on my hobbies is more important."
  91. >She bites her lip.
  92. "Keep going."
  93. >Clearing her throat, she continues.
  94. >"Really, Anon? I gave you a whole month to make some new friends, and all you've been doing is staying in your room like the same old shut-in you always are? What about that Friendship Journal I gave you? Didn't you read it?!"
  95. >She's good…!
  96. "J-just a little bit more…"
  97. >"What am I supposed to report to Princess Celestia now?! You *do* know that she's been very interested in your progress as the only human in Equestria!?"
  98. >Oh God, she's bringing in the big guns.
  99. >"Oh…oh no! What if she's *disappointed* in me for failing to produce results?! What if—"
  100. >She gasps.
  101. >"What if she locks me up in a dungeon for failing her!? What if she locks *both* of us up in a—"
  102. "Hnnng!"
  103. >You collapse to the floor, completely exhausted; Starlight hastily trots up to you.
  104. >"Anon! Are you okay?!"
  105. "I…I think I just came."
  106. >Her eyes slowly drift down your body in steady realisation; smirking, she does a hoof pump.
  107. >"Jackpot."
  108. >Twilight Sparkle watches the scene unfold from a nearby window.
  109. >"I do *not* sound like that… Do I?" she mumbles to herself.
  110.  
  111. ***
  112.  
  113. - 3 - Judgement NUT [NSFW] [MEME] - (23/10/23)
  114. >You are Anon, professional >rape dealer.
  115. >Spying a lone Starlight, you move in for the kill.
  116. "Good morning, Purple."
  117. >"Oh, hi Anon!"
  118. "Nice weather today, isn't it?"
  119. >"Yep! Wonderful!"
  120. "Perfect for a spot of…"
  121. >You close in on her.
  122. >rape
  123. >You reach in and grab her, but she vanishes in your arms like smoke.
  124. >"But Anon…"
  125. >Hearing her voice behind you, you swivel around.
  126. >She's standing there, horn surrounded by magic.
  127. >"You are already >raped."
  128. "N-nani?!"
  129. >She releases the spell.
  130. >Your eyes go wide and you scream as the sensations all strike you at once.
  131. >Your mouth is sopping wet; multiple distinct flavours of Glimmer goo assault your taste buds simultaneously.
  132. >Your nipples feel beyond sore, having gone through a gauntlet of being pulled, sucked, licked, kissed, and bitten.
  133. >Your dick is hypersensitive and chafed to hell, even the slightest breeze against it sends a sharp jolt throughout your entire body.
  134. >Your balls feel like shrivelled prunes; it's as if all of the sperm that you've had and could have had in the next few years has been stolen from you.
  135. >And your ass… God, you don't even wanna talk about that.
  136. >The sensory overload sends you crumpling to the floor.
  137. >Lying on your back, you gasp out at her.
  138. "H-how?! H-how did you beat my >rape?!"
  139. >She sashays up to your face with a wide smirk, before turning around and giving you a full view of her rear end.
  140. >Both of her holes are absolutely gushing with your shared fluids.
  141. >"Foalishness, Anon! Foalishness!"
  142. >The lilac mound descends upon you, and you hear one last thing before your vision goes purple.
  143. >"You can't >rape a >rapist."
  144. [Note: This inspired an Anon to write https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/40434254/#40459712 ]
  145.  
  146. ***
  147.  
  148. - 4 - The Glim Bump [COMFY] [MEME] - (04/11/23)
  149. >"Check out this new spell, Anon!"
  150. "What does it do?"
  151. >"Have a look!"
  152. >Her horn lights up in that familiar turquoise glow for a few moments.
  153. >A sharp sense of vertigo quickly overtakes you as you feel the room you're in suddenly ascend.
  154. >But soon, the sensation leaves just as swiftly as it arrived as the room stops at its apex.
  155. "W-whoa, did you just—"
  156. >"Yep! I just bumped the thread!"
  157. "Nice."
  158. >She beams proudly.
  159. "But couldn't we have just made a regular post?"
  160. >"We could've, yeah, but it's more fun using magic."
  161. "Fair enough."
  162. >You ponder to yourself.
  163. "Do bump spells have to deal with captcha too?"
  164. >She groans.
  165. >"Ugh, you have no idea. This one wanted me to select 'best pony' from a set of pony images. How are you even supposed to answer that? It's subjective, isn't it?"
  166. >She turns her head away from you, trying to hide a building frown.
  167. >"I wasn't even on there…"
  168. >Kneeling down, you give her a few pets through her mane.
  169. "Hey now, you'll always be best pony to me."
  170. >"Aw, thanks, Anon!"
  171. >Rearing up, she wraps you in a hug.
  172. >"And you'll always be best human!"
  173. >The hug is cut short as your room suddenly shifts downwards.
  174. "I think we're on page 2 already."
  175. >"Oh come on!"
  176.  
  177. ***
  178.  
  179. - 5 - Magical Mix-up [MEME] - (10/11/23)
  180. "Oh no!"
  181. >The scene before you is horrific, chilling you to the bone.
  182. >You frantically question the mare responsible.
  183. "W-why did you do it, Starlight?!"
  184. >"They had it coming, Anon!"
  185. "They trusted you! *I* trusted you!"
  186. >Using her powerful magic, Starlight made short work of your dear friends while you weren't looking.
  187. >Rainbow's hind legs have been blown off; she will never run again.
  188. >Applejack's entire face has been stripped away.
  189. >Fluttershy's cranium has been forcibly removed.
  190. >Rarity's head has been separated from her body.
  191. >Half of Twilight's face has been carved out, taking her horn with it.
  192. >Pinkie is the only one without any severe wounds, but you know she'll never be the same way again after seeing what happened to her friends.
  193. >You drop to your knees, tears building in your eyes; what did these pure, sweet ponies do to deserve this?
  194. >"If you act now, maybe you can use your Special Pony Pal Powers to save them!"
  195. >She leaves, cackling madly to herself, and you are left with the remains of your fallen friends.
  196. >You still can't believe it.
  197. >Starlight, she…she…
  198. >She messed up your etch-a-sketch of the Mane Six.
  199. [Context: https://derpibooru.org/images/1411131 ]
  200.  
  201. ***
  202.  
  203. - 6 - The Cutie Unmarked Crusaders [MISC] - (11/11/23)
  204. [https://derpibooru.org/images/1026487 ]
  205. >Starlight Glimmer walks down a path in Ponyville, minding her own business.
  206. >Suddenly, an orange filly riding a scooter swerves in front of her from behind; she makes a stop, blocking Starlight's path.
  207. >The filly takes off her helmet, facing Starlight and catching her breath.
  208. >"S-starlight!"
  209. >"Oh, hello! Scootaloo, was it?"
  210. >"Starlight! We need your help! We need you to…" A yellow filly—Apple Bloom—runs up to Starlight's front from her left.
  211. >"We need you to get rid of our cutie marks!" A white filly—Sweetie Belle—runs up to Starlight's front from her right.
  212. >"Oh…"
  213. >Starlight frowns.
  214. >"Girls, I can't do that."
  215. >"What? Why noooot?"
  216. >"I'm just…not that kind of pony any more."
  217. >"Well the Crusaders aren't friends any more either, so that cancels it out, right?"
  218. >"Yeah! As of today—the Cutie Mark Crusaders have officially disbanded!"
  219. >"Aw, you don't mean that. You three will be friends again, I just know it."
  220. >"Nuh-uh, we are *never* gonna be friends again! Never ever never!"
  221. >"Never ever never never ever NEVER!"
  222. >"But the cutie marks you have are so special. Why would you ever want to get rid of them?"
  223. >"Because we want to have different talents, talents that don't rely on us bein' together, talents we can call our own!"
  224. >Apple Bloom puffs out her chest.
  225. >"Ah want to be an alchemist!"
  226. >"I wanna be a stuntmare!"
  227. >"And I want to be a singer! La-laaaaa—" Sweetie coughs.
  228. >All three shout at once.
  229. >"But we can't do that with these stupid cutie marks!"
  230. >"But there's nothing stopping you from doing those things. Maybe you three just need some time apart."
  231. >"Nah, these cutie marks are *weird!* They, like, force us to be together or something."
  232. >"Yeah! This morning Ah was selling some apples, and Ah almost tripped over Sweetie Belle! What were you even doin'? Singin' on the dirt?!"
  233. >"It's not my fault you weren't looking where you were going! And anyway, I was practising my levitation in the park, and Scootaloo almost knocked me out of the sky on her scooter!"
  234. >"Girls, maybe that's all because you live in Ponyville and attend the same school. It's only natural you'd see each other often."
  235. >"Nope! It's our cutie marks, definitely!"
  236. >"Yeah, definitively!"
  237. >"And that's why we need you to get rid of 'em!"
  238. >"But—"
  239. >"And you're *super* amazing at magic. You're the only one we can count on to do this!"
  240. >"I—"
  241. >"Pleeeaaaseee? Pretty Please? Take our cutie marks!"
  242. >"Um…"
  243. >"Take our cutie marks! Take our cutie marks! Take our cutie marks!"
  244. >As the three close in on her, repeating their demands, a nervous grin begins to build on Starlight's face as her eyes dart from filly to filly.
  245.  
  246. >Back in the Castle of Friendship's main room, the large table in the centre—the Cutie Map—lights up, showcasing a friendship problem in Ponyville.
  247. >A familiar trio of cutie marks float around Starlight's; suddenly, the three cutie marks disappear, only to be replaced with…nothing.
  248. >Twilight Sparkle gazes at the scene with a tired expression.
  249. >"STARLIGHT!"
  250.  
  251. ***
  252.  
  253. - 7 - Marry the 'light [MEME] - (13/11/23)
  254. "So let me get this straight, Twilight."
  255. >Standing in the castle hallway, you give the document in your hand another brief skim before looking at Twilight Sparkle.
  256. "I have to marry a pony to retain my citizenship rights in Equestria."
  257. >"Yep."
  258. "And this is all part of your new 'Friendship Act' as leading Princess of Equestria."
  259. >"That's correct!"
  260. "But it can't be any pony. They have to be…"
  261. >You squint your eyes at the paper.
  262. "A mare."
  263. >"Mm-hmm."
  264. "With a purple coat."
  265. >"You can't go wrong with purple."
  266. "And a purple mane."
  267. >"Matching colours, very important!"
  268. "Magically talented."
  269. >"Here's a hint, look for the cutie mark!"
  270. "She can fly."
  271. >"Magic *and* flight! Ringing any bells yet, Anon?"
  272. >She flares out her wings and proudly poses.
  273. "She's saved Equestria several times."
  274. >"You have *no* idea how many discounts you'll get for being married to a hero."
  275. "She's got a close-knit friend group."
  276. >"Not only do you get a loving wife, you also get more friends! Great deal, right?"
  277. "She has a fun, relatable sense of humour."
  278. >"She also happens to have a lot of great joke books, wink wink."
  279. >As if it wasn't enough, she also winks twice in addition to saying "wink wink."
  280. "She's well read."
  281. >"*Very* well read."
  282. "And very intelligent overall."
  283. >"Well I don't mean to brag but…"
  284. >You have to roll your eyes at that one.
  285. "Her first name ends in 'light.'"
  286. >"She'll brighten up your day!"
  287. "And…her last name is a phenomena of light."
  288. >"See? Even the names match! Just like we will—I mean, you and your wife."
  289. "This is all…very specific."
  290. >"Of course, you deserve only the best, Anon!"
  291. "Right."
  292. >"And the best is closer than you think! She might even be…right in front of you?"
  293. >She…she HAS to know, right?
  294. >That earnest smile she's giving you is telling you otherwise.
  295. >Still, she's the one forcing you to get married.
  296. "You know what? I'm cool with that."
  297. >"G-great! So, whenever you're ready!"
  298. >Twilight closes her eyes and puckers up her lips.
  299. >You turn around and head the other way.
  300.  
  301. "Starlight! We're getting horsemarried now!"
  302. >"Oh, cool!"
  303.  
  304. ***
  305.  
  306. - 8 - Sleeping In [COMFY] - (22/11/23)
  307. >The morning rays shine in through the nearby window.
  308. >You hear birds chirping outside as the entire world wakes up to greet the new day.
  309. >Well, *almost* the entire world, you're still not ready yet.
  310. >And you're not the only one.
  311. >Cuddled up against your left side is a mare very dear to your heart.
  312. >Stray rays of sunlight reflect off of her lilac fur, giving her a positively radiant look even as she slumbers.
  313. >Her purple and turquoise mane has retained most of its styled curl throughout the night, but stray strands of mane dare to peek out from her bed head.
  314. >Her horn is…well, it's a unicorn horn; it's still a part of her though, so you're convinced it's the objectively cutest unicorn horn.
  315. >Even in her bed-headed state—to you, she is picturesque in appearance; you could gaze at her forever…
  316. >'*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*'
  317. >But all good things must come to an end.
  318. >The sleepy mare on your chest shifts around in discomfort.
  319. >"Nngh…"
  320. >You feel your right arm move of its own accord towards the source of the offending audio.
  321. >Held up by a gentle turquoise glow, your hand gives the alarm a few clumsy slaps, none of which manage to stifle the sound.
  322. >After a few acts of dozy ventriloquism, you decide to address your puppeteer.
  323. "I've got it, Starlight."
  324. >Regaining control over your appendage, you smack that snooze button.
  325. >"Thanks, Nonny…"
  326. >You crane your neck downwards to give her a peck on the forehead; she coos in response.
  327.  
  328. >But you can't stay like this forever; a new day is dawning.
  329. "Hey Starlight, time to get up."
  330. >"Mmm, no…"
  331. >It's a denial that moves your very soul; it moves you to *not* move her.
  332. >Unfortunately, you still need to move yourself, you can wake her up later when she's ready.
  333. "Alright, then I'll…"
  334. >Using your right arm, you pull the bed covers out from your side, earning you a groan of frustration from Starlight.
  335. >Then you dislodge your left arm from around her torso, earning you an even louder groan.
  336. >You make to climb out of bed—but something stops you before your feet can even reach the floor.
  337. >That something being a set of forelegs connected to a groggy, lilac weight that's intent on keeping you tethered to the bed frame.
  338. >You look back to her, making eye contact with the slightest glimmer of blue peeking out from underneath her barely opened eyelids.
  339. "I can't get out of bed if you're clinging to me."
  340. >"Mhmm."
  341. "Starlight…"
  342. >The corners of her mouth upturn slightly.
  343. >"Just five more minutes, Nonnyyy…"
  344. >Her tone is one of pleading, striking at your heart's vital points with brutal efficiency.
  345. "Well…"
  346. >You give her a brief glance over, but your answer had already been decided the moment she spoke.
  347. >The game was rigged from the start; you can't say no to more snuggling with Starlight.
  348. >And sleeping in just a *little* bit longer can't hurt, right?
  349. "Oh alright, five more minutes."
  350. >She murmurs in appreciation, already attempting to pull you back to bed with a physical strength that you wouldn't expect from a unicorn.
  351. >You decide to save her the trouble as you climb back into bed with her and pull the covers back up.
  352. >She makes a show of snuggling back into your side as you wrap your left arm around her once more.
  353. >After a few brief moments, you hear her start to softly snore in record time.
  354. >And that's your cue to close your eyes and join her in sweet slumber.
  355. >As it turns out, you're going to end up closing them for a bit longer than five minutes, but that's a problem for future You and future Starlight to deal with.
  356.  
  357. ***
  358.  
  359. - 9 - Glim Inhibitors Off [BORDERLINE] - (27/11/23)
  360. ["She'll drink a zero restraint potion so she'll get really hecking nasty and indulge in whatever i want."]
  361. ["D-don't get too crazy, she still has to live with the memories!"]
  362. ["If anything I'm more in danger, a zero restraint Glimmy? RIP my balls."]
  363. >Deep in the Castle of Friendship, you crouch down in a large empty vase in one of the hallways, hidden from view.
  364. >Hidden from Starlight Glimmer.
  365. >As a way to spice things up in the bedroom, you had Starlight drink a potion to completely remove her inhibitions.
  366. >Kind of like super alcohol.
  367. >You had a whole list of kinky fun planned for the night, stuff that Starlight would never let you do while sober, stuff that would make a mare of the night blush.
  368. >But what you didn't expect—
  369. >"THERE!"
  370. >That's the sound of a table being blown up—your previous hiding spot.
  371. >"No? Darn."
  372. >—What you didn't expect was that Starlight had a list of her own; it happened to be a lot longer than yours, and lot more debased.
  373. >She had orgasmed herself into a stupor just describing the lewd laundry list of depravity she wished to inflict upon you.
  374. >You took that opportunity to quickly excuse yourself to the library.
  375. >And then the dining hall, then the kitchen, then the study room, and so on; Starlight upended each and every one in search of you.
  376. >And now—
  377. >"Where ARE you, Anon?! Come out!"
  378. >—And now you're on the run.
  379. >Or rather—on the sneak; there's no way you can outrun horny Glimmer.
  380. >…Speaking of which, she sounded close, too close.
  381. >You're going to have to relocate soon, but you can't run forever.
  382. >You know Twilight has an apothecary room somewhere in the castle; there has to be an antidote somewhere in there, and then maybe you and Starlight can try a more subdued, less rapey potion?
  383. >Gingerly peeking out of the vase, you don't see her anywhere; she must have gone into one of the other rooms.
  384. >It's time to make your move; you glance around.
  385. >And at the end of the hallway, you see a door with the plaque of a potion hanging off it; that must be it!
  386. >Carefully and silently climbing out of the vase, you sprint towards the door, hand outstretched to—
  387. >A furry purple cannonball slams into your side, knocking you to the floor.
  388. >You are magically flipped onto your back, and a lilac weight makes its presence known on top of your stomach—Starlight Glimmer, of course.
  389. >It was too good to be true; you reap what you sow.
  390. >"Anon! There you are!"
  391. >Her face is contorted into a manic grin.
  392. >You'll be lucky if your pelvis survives the rest of the night.
  393. >"Now, where were we…?"
  394.  
  395. ***
  396.  
  397. - 10 - Glimmy [MEME] - (13/12/23)
  398. ["I really like saying glimmys name it sounds nice coming out of my mouth"]
  399. "Glimmy."
  400. >Damn, that's nice.
  401. >"What's up, Anon?"
  402. "Glimmy."
  403. >And it only gets better with repetition.
  404. >"Yeah, I heard you."
  405. "Glimmy."
  406. >The way that "L" rolls across your tongue, whew.
  407. >"Anon?"
  408. "Glimmy."
  409. >And the way that "M" pops out, that's a winner.
  410. >"Um."
  411. "Glimmy."
  412. >When you combine the two—that's when things get interesting.
  413. >"Are…are you okay?"
  414. "Glimmy."
  415. >You could keep saying this for hours.
  416. >"Anon, speak to me! Say something other than 'Glimmy!'"
  417. >But now, it's time to switch gears.
  418. "Glump."
  419. >Hey, that one's pretty good, too.
  420. >"I mean I guess that's different, but…"
  421. >But what if…?
  422. "Glumpy."
  423. >A daring synthesis, but a rewarding one.
  424. >"Words, Anon! Say something that's an actual word!"
  425. "Glomp."
  426. >Another solid starter.
  427. >"I…I guess that's a word?"
  428. >Now, for the finishing touch:
  429. "Glompy."
  430. >And it just gets even better.
  431. >"Ugh…"
  432. >You're gonna call this one the "Y principle."
  433. >Take a nice-sounding word, add a "Y" to the end, and you've got yourself a champion.
  434. >And if you already know the "Y" is gonna make a banger, then you can skip a step for this next one.
  435. "Glimpy."
  436. >Now THAT…that right there is a good'un.
  437. >"Why are you doing this, Anon? Why?"
  438. >But what makes it so good? It's time to go back to the basics.
  439. "Glimmy."
  440. >Phew, it's like finally returning home after a month-long vacation—exquisite.
  441. >"I'm…I'm just gonna lie down here, don't mind me."
  442. >Time to run over the base components of this masterpiece.
  443. "Guh."
  444. >It's a powerful opener—one with presence, suspense, and intrigue.
  445. "Lim."
  446. >At this point, everyone in the room knows who you're talking about, but you're not done yet; they might know, but they've still got to *feel* it.
  447. "Mee."
  448. >Boom. Once you fire off that explosive finale—you've set the stage, the pacing, and the pony all at once.
  449. >Pull these three syllables together and you get the apex nickname.
  450. "Glimmy."
  451. >Perfection.
  452. >You look down at your feet and see Starlight.
  453. >She's lying on her back, staring upwards with a thousand-yard stare.
  454. "Oh hey, Glimmy. Didn't notice you there."
  455.  
  456. ***
  457.  
  458. - 11 - Starlight the Christmas Light [COMFY] - (19/12/23)
  459. >You hear the rattling sound of something being dragged across the floor.
  460. >"Um, Anon."
  461. >You glance up from your incredibly interesting book to see Starlight Glimmer.
  462. "What's up—oh."
  463. >Emphasis on the "light" part; she has somehow gotten herself tangled up in Christma—sorry—Hearth's Warming lights.
  464. >Her entire body is wrapped up in the things—from her legs all the way to her horn.
  465. >"Could I get a little help here?"
  466. >Examining her closely, you see that the earlier sound must have come from the lights that trail behind her.
  467. "How on Equestria did you manage that?"
  468. >"What do you think?! I was trying to decorate our tree."
  469. "Yeah but…you have magic. You don't even have to touch the lights."
  470. >"I know! But…I don't know. It was going just fine earlier, but then one of them somehow wrapped around my leg and then…and then *this!*"
  471. >She raises a decorated forehoof and shakes it to no avail.
  472. >"And now they won't come off no matter what I do! Look—!"
  473. >She vanishes in a teleportation spell, taking the lights with her; she reappears roughly a metre away, still entangled in the same lights.
  474. >"Not even teleporting works! Uuurgh!"
  475. >You can no longer hold it in any more—you snicker in response to the continued exposure to Starlight the Christmas Light.
  476. >She pouts.
  477. >"I'm glad you find my predicament so funny, Anon."
  478. >After a few seconds, you manage to catch your breath.
  479. "Hah-ah…sorry, Glimmy, it's just—you know?"
  480. >Still maintaining her pout, her eyes drift off to the side.
  481. >"…Yeah, I know. Can you please help me now?"
  482. "Yeah, of course—hold on."
  483. >You walk up to her and crouch down to help untangle her from the lights.
  484. >Being so close to her, you make sure to take the opportunity to sneak in a few scritches here and there, causing her to hum in appreciation.
  485. "Next time, I'm helping you put these up."
  486. >"You better." She smirks at you.
  487. >Even on Equestria, Christmas lights continue to be one of a quadruped's greatest foes.
  488.  
  489. ***
  490.  
  491. - 12 - Tinsel Time [COMFY] - (20/12/23)
  492. ["I know it's kind of explicit in that she really couldn't get out of that silly trap, but I like the idea of Starlight pretending to be in a pickle and "tricking" (You) into coming to help her out, even though her tricks are perfectly transparent
  493. Like helping her carry her laundry, even tho it's quite clearly still clean; or helping her clean her coat, even tho she probably has 15 spells for that; or having you join her in watching a horror movie, 'cause she can't handle it alone etc."]
  494. >You're sitting down, reading an only-somewhat-interesting book, when a voice calls out to you.
  495. >"Hey Anon! I'm stuck, and I need your help!"
  496. "Again?"
  497. >"Uh…yep!"
  498. "Okay, let's see here…"
  499. >You glance up from your book to see Starlight Glimmer, again.
  500. >She is draped in tinsel of various colours.
  501. >Not wrapped up, not tangled—simply "draped," as if she leisurely levitated the decorations onto her body just moments ago.
  502. >You raise an eyebrow.
  503. "…Very colourful."
  504. >"Right? And oh-so constricting as well!"
  505. "I'm sure."
  506. >"Mhmm! I mean—um, look at this!"
  507. >She raises a decorated forehoof and lightly shakes it, flinging some of the tinsel off of her hoof.
  508. >And onto your face.
  509. >Her eyes briefly widen.
  510. >"Um, one moment."
  511. "Right."
  512. >A turquoise glow gently grabs the tinsel off of your face and floats it back over to Starlight, wrapping it around her hoof.
  513. >"S-see? It rebounds back whenever I try to get rid of it! Must be…enchanted, right?"
  514. "So it seems."
  515. >"And the only way to break this…this curse is for hands—human hands—to pry it off!"
  516. >You blink at her; she grins back.
  517. >You're about to open your mouth to say something about this silly situation, but you decide against it.
  518. >Instead, you put your book down and pat your thigh.
  519. "Alright then, come on up—your big strong human is ready to free you."
  520. >She barely suppresses a squee as she hops onto your lap, and you get to work on saving Starlight from the dastardly enchanted tinsel.
  521. >And sneaking in a few pets along the way.
  522. >She sighs in contentment as you do, melting at your touch.
  523. >You'll indulge her, just this once.
  524. >…And maybe the subsequent times, too.
  525.  
  526. ***
  527.  
  528. - 13 - New Year's Starlight [COMFY] - (31/12/23)
  529. >The dawn of the New Year is approaching.
  530. >And the celebrations are well underway in the castle.
  531. >You lean on the railing of one of the castle balconies, gazing out towards a frosty Ponyville.
  532. >The normally lush green village has been covered in a blanket of snow, giving it the appearance of a winter wonderland.
  533. >You can see the night sky up above, and the abundance of glimmering stars which decorate it.
  534. >It's a beautiful scene.
  535. >You hear a pony trot up to you from behind.
  536. >"Anon! There you are!"
  537. >Glancing over your shoulder, you see a familiar lilac unicorn.
  538. "Starlight, hey."
  539. >"I was wondering where you went off to."
  540. >You chuckle.
  541. "Didn't mean to worry you; just taking in the sights."
  542. >You turn back to look at the town.
  543. "Ponyville sure is breathtaking at this time of year."
  544. >"That's not the only view that's breathtaking."
  545. "Hm?"
  546. >You turn to look at her.
  547. >And see that she's looking you over with a smile.
  548. "O-oh."
  549. >The implications catch up to you and you find yourself at a loss for words.
  550. >She nervously ruffles through her mane with a hoof.
  551. >"Sorry if that was a bit much."
  552. >You shake your head.
  553. "I-it's fine. The view or—er, the feeling—the feeling-view is mutual."
  554. >She giggles, before moving in a bit closer.
  555.  
  556. >"Mind if I join you?"
  557. >You give a brief glance towards the balcony entrance, hearing the distant noises of the celebrations from within.
  558. "You sure? It's just me out here."
  559. >She walks up to your side, smiling.
  560. >"That's fine with me."
  561. >She rears up and rests her forehooves on the balcony railing, positioning herself next to you.
  562. >"To tell you the truth—I'm not much for crowds, myself."
  563. "Really?"
  564. >"Yeah…not to say I don't love hanging out with the friends I've made—I do—but…I also love the quiet moments like these."
  565. >You nod in agreement.
  566. "They are nice."
  567. >The two of you gaze upon Ponyville for a while, before Starlight speaks up again.
  568. >"By the way, have you got any resolutions for the New Year?"
  569. "Well…"
  570. >Goals for the New Year, huh?
  571. >There are a few on your mind, but speaking them out loud just before the year turns over feels…wrong, somehow.
  572. "Maybe, but I'm keeping them a secret, don't wanna invalidate them."
  573. >She shoots you a quizzical look.
  574. >"Isn't that a superstition for birthday wishes, not the New Year?"
  575. >You smirk at her.
  576. "Perhaps, but you can never be *too* careful."
  577. >She pouts at you in response, but it quickly gives way to a smile.
  578. >"Well, whatever they are, I hope you succeed in them, Anon."
  579. "Hah, thanks."
  580. >"As for me—I happen to have a few 'secret resolutions' as well."
  581. >She smirks at you.
  582. >"But I'm feeling daring, so I can tell you about one of them."
  583. "Oh yeah?"
  584. >She leans against your side.
  585. >"It happens to involve spending more time with a certain human."
  586. >She raises a hoof up to her snout, giving herself the patented Glimmy Self-Boop™.
  587. >"Hmm, but now that I've said it aloud, I hope I haven't invalidated it."
  588. >You wrap a arm around her.
  589. "I don't know, I have a pretty good feeling that it'll turn out just fine."
  590. >She closes her eyes.
  591. >You can hear the faint chanting of a countdown coming from within the castle—the New Year is coming.
  592. >"Mmm, I hope so."
  593. >From the castle interior: you hear the countdown reach "one," which is then followed by an almost deafening set of cheers.
  594. >Over Ponyville, you see fireworks being shot up in the sky, lighting it up with a dazzling array of colours and patterns.
  595. >Starlight nuzzles into your side, humming briefly.
  596. >"Happy New Year, Anon."
  597. "Yeah, here's to another year, Starlight."
  598.  
  599. ***
  600.  
  601. - 14 - Taking Care of a Sneezing Starlight [COMFY] - (04/01/24)
  602. >"A-achoo!"
  603. >Now that's a sound you've gotten used to hearing throughout the day.
  604. >Starlight Glimmer is bedridden—having caught a particularly debilitating fever.
  605. >You *did* warn her about the dangers of extended late-night kite flying, but she wasn't hearing any of it, so now here you are.
  606. >You're calling this phenomenon "ponyflu."
  607. >But the matter of how she got ill is in the past now.
  608. >Presently, you sit on a comfy chair by her bedside, and you're doing all that you can to make her recovery is as stress-free as possible.
  609. >Even more presently, you slowly raise a tissue up to her snout and tenderly wipe around it, cleaning up her latest sternutation.
  610. "Tissue for your troubles?"
  611. >"Hehe, appreciate it." She sniffles.
  612. >After discarding the used tissue into a nearby bin, you gaze upon her covered form.
  613. >Despite her eyebags, despite her droopy mane, and despite her lilac fur that has somehow paled a little bit under her illness…
  614. >To you—she's still the most beautiful being in Equestria right now.
  615. >You reach for a glass of warm milk that you had prepared earlier, and you hold it up to her.
  616. "Here comes the milk train. Open up, Glimmy."
  617. >She does her best to suppress a giggle as she opens her mouth, and you gently raise the glass up to her face, angling it so she can drink the contents.
  618. >You have the sneaking suspicion that this simple fever isn't severe enough to disable her telekinetic prowess.
  619. >But neither of you are complaining about the arrangement that you two have got going on here.
  620. >After you help her down the rest of the milk, she smiles up at you.
  621. >"Ah, thanks, Anon."
  622. "Hah, anytime."
  623. >The two of you spend some more time like this, with you keeping her company and assisting her whenever needed.
  624. >But soon, you have to stand up, ready to leave her room to gather more supplies.
  625. "One moment, Glimmy."
  626. >As you walk away, she weakly reaches out a forehoof towards you.
  627. >"Anooon, don't leeaavee meee," she whines out.
  628. "I'm only heading off to make some soup for you; it won't take long."
  629. >She groans, clearly not convinced.
  630. >So you walk back up to her, leaning in close.
  631. "I'll be back soon, promise."
  632. >And you give her a smooch on the forehead.
  633. "And when I come back, we can read some books together on Equestria's rarest flora, alright?"
  634. >She visibly relaxes, breaking into a slight smile.
  635. >"Mmm, okay."
  636. >You give her a tender ruffle through her mane as you set off on your temporary departure.
  637. >Truth be told—you're not sure if "ponyflu" can be transmitted to humans or not.
  638. >Hell, if it can, it's entirely possible that pony germs might mess up your immune system far worse than it does to ponies.
  639. >But for your dear Glimmy? You're more than willing to take that risk.
  640.  
  641. ***
  642.  
  643. - 15 - Glim Boop Three (Dee) [COMFY] [MEME] - (05/01/24)
  644. [https://derpibooru.org/images/1531370 ]
  645. "Alright, roll it."
  646. >Starlight tilts her head at you.
  647. "Uh—I meant do the thing."
  648. >"Oh, okay then, give me a moment."
  649. >Starlight Glimmer stands in front of you, ready to do…
  650. >The thing.
  651. >You are ready.
  652. >Equipped.
  653. >Expectant.
  654. >Enlightened.
  655. >Three emotions, three aspects, three…dee.
  656. >As in 3D.
  657. >…You are wearing a pair of anaglyph 3D Glasses.
  658. >"If you're done spacing out, I'm about to do…"
  659. >She sighs.
  660. >"The thing."
  661. "Great—and hey, no sighing. I'm the one who won our little wager yesterday, so you gotta do…'the thing'"
  662. >What you two wagered on doesn't matter; what matters is that you won and Glimmy is now obligated to do…
  663. >The thing.
  664. >She slowly raises her right forehoof.
  665. >Tenderly and tantalisingly.
  666. >It's in front of her face now.
  667. >She slowly brings it in.
  668. >And presses it against her snout.
  669. >Her horn lights up, casting a mild illusory spell over herself—the final piece of the puzzle.
  670. >It distorts the sight of her so your glasses can work *their* magic.
  671. "Wow! Glimmer!"
  672. >She partially lids her eyes, likely due to slight annoyance, but you prefer to think of it as her completing the look.
  673. >Because right in front of you, you see Starlights booping their own snout.
  674. >That's right—Starlights; there are two of them, all thanks to your glasses.
  675. >A blue-tinted Starlight standing to the left.
  676. >A red-tinted Starlight standing to the right.
  677. >And the more you focus, the closer they become, until…
  678. >The Glimmers align, and there she is.
  679. >The Glim Boop™, now in anaglyph 3D.
  680. "This…this is insane."
  681. >You gasp.
  682. "It's like you're really here—booping your own snout right in front of me!"
  683. >You watch her roll her eyes in 3D, yet you also catch a very slight smile forming on her face.
  684. >It's cute.
  685. >And in 3D.
  686.  
  687. ***
  688.  
  689. - 16 - A Starlit Pier in Manehattan [COMFY] - (06/01/24)
  690. [https://derpibooru.org/images/1545103 ]
  691. >You wander down a long wooden pier at nighttime.
  692. >Lamp poles shine down upon you as you proceed, giving you a much-welcomed source of light.
  693. >You see a metropolitan city in the distance—Manehattan.
  694. >The city buildings shine out their interior light through most of their windows, giving the faraway metropolis a nostalgic glow that reminds you of the cities back home.
  695. >The sound of the sea crashing against the underside of the pier has a calming effect on your nerves; it's a gentle reminder of nature's presence in this otherwise-industrialised zone.
  696. >A rainstorm is buffeting the area, with the occasional flashes of lightning and rumbles of thunder over yonder.
  697. >But it doesn't bother you in the slightest.
  698. >And that's all thanks to your companion walking alongside you, a lilac unicorn who's near and dear to your heart—Starlight Glimmer.
  699. >Her horn is lit up with a turquoise glow, generating an invisible, mobile barrier that covers the two of you.
  700. >If it wasn't for the barrier protecting you from the elements, you likely wouldn't have noticed its presence in the first place.
  701. "That's a really handy spell."
  702. >She giggles.
  703. >"I'm glad you like it. You'd be surprised how difficult it is to make your magical barriers invisible."
  704. >You take a glance at the rain drizzling down the exterior of the barrier.
  705. "I think it was definitely worth the effort. It reminds me of sitting in a car back home and watching the rain hit the windscreen."
  706. >While Equestria does have similar methods of transportation, especially here in Manehattan, riding in them doesn't quite give you the same feeling as it does back on Earth.
  707. >"Hmm, these 'cars' sound really interesting. I'd like to ride in one of them, one day."
  708. "You might end up waiting a long time for that. I think Equestria is gonna be a while off from inventing cars."
  709. >"How about you? Do you miss them? The cars, I mean."
  710. "Eh, not really, because…"
  711. >You look back to her.
  712. "I've got something even better right here."
  713. >She stops in her tracks, looking up at you with a raised eyebrow.
  714. >"Did you really just compare me to one of your 'cars?'"
  715. >You stop walking as well, making sure to stay inside the barrier.
  716. "Uh…"
  717. >Your heart-warming remark backfired hard.
  718. >You need to find some way to salvage this.
  719. "Um…"
  720. >You grit your teeth; you got nothing.
  721. >She giggles once more.
  722. >"I'll let you off the hook this time, Anon. But you have to tell me more about your 'cars' later."
  723. >She playfully winks at you and you exhale in relief.
  724. "You got it, Glimmy."
  725. >You two of you continue on your way with renewed spirits.
  726. >For your part—you desperately wage a war within your head to stop mentally comparing Starlight with a car.
  727. >She's way too small for you to ride on, anyway.
  728.  
  729. ***
  730.  
  731. - 17 - Book of Magic [COMFY] - (15/01/24)
  732. [https://derpibooru.org/images/1259623 ]
  733. >You see Starlight Glimmer intently reading a book in front of you.
  734. >It's titled "Magic."
  735. "Hey Starlight, what are you reading?"
  736. >"It's a book on magic."
  737. "Ah. What kind of magic?"
  738. >"Magic."
  739. "Oh."
  740. >You chew your lip for a bit.
  741. >Then you speak up again.
  742. "So like—general magic, then?"
  743. >She doesn't respond, continuing to read her book.
  744. "…Can I take a peek?"
  745. >She glances up at you.
  746. >"I don't think that's a good idea, Anon. The contents might be a bit much for you."
  747. "Hey, I may not look it—but my brain is pretty big. I think I can handle it."
  748. >"It's not about smarts; it's about magical aptitude."
  749. >She refocuses on her book, leaving your curiosity to fester.
  750. >The more she advises against it, the more you want to—HAVE to see what's in that book.
  751. >So you slowly circle around her.
  752. >And she slowly rotates herself to continue facing you, keeping the contents of her book out of your vision.
  753. "Hey…"
  754. >Wait a minute, you're taller than her!
  755. >You can just peek on the book from above!
  756. >You stand on your tippy toes and lean in above her.
  757. >…And she promptly teleports herself and the book away, quickly reappearing a short distance away.
  758. "Aw, come on…"
  759. >"It's for your own good, Anon."
  760. >The rest of the day passes with many failed attempts to spy on whatever Starlight is reading.
  761. >But you have an ace in the hole—an opening to exploit within her veil of secrecy.
  762. >At the end of the day: she is but a biological creature with biological needs.
  763. >And at the end of the day—she must sleep.
  764. >And sleep she does; night falls, and Starlight rests easy in her bed, oblivious to the waking world.
  765. >Oblivious to you sneaking into her bedroom.
  766. >Scanning the area, you see her book resting on her book stand.
  767. >You tiptoe over the book stand, seeing that the book is closed.
  768. >A sense of giddiness almost overtakes you over the anticipation of finally seeing what's in that book.
  769. >But you suppress it; this is a sneaking mission, after all.
  770. >You gingerly open the book, flicking to a random page.
  771. >And within the book, you read—
  772. "Magic."
  773. >And "magic," and "magic," and "magic," and so on.
  774. >You see nothing but the word "magic" repeated over and over.
  775. >There are no other words, no punctuation, nothing else.
  776. >Just "magic."
  777. "What…?"
  778. >You flick to another page—and see the exact same repetition of the exact same word.
  779. "This…this doesn't…"
  780. >You desperately flick through other pages in the book, but no matter where you look—the results are the same.
  781. >It's all "magic."
  782. "I-I don't understand…"
  783. >"You don't have to, Anon."
  784. >You raise your head from the book and look over to Starlight's bed; you see Starlight wide awake, looking back at you with a neutral expression.
  785. >"It's magic."
  786.  
  787. ***
  788.  
  789. - 18 - Scribbles of Software [COMFY] - (16/01/24)
  790. ["So if all Anon sees when reading magic books is "Magic", then what does Starlight see when reading code?"]
  791. >You sit down on the floor with a notepad in one hand and a pencil in the other.
  792. "Print the first two, add them together, change the variables, put it in a loop, and—uh…"
  793. >In your notepad, you write down some lines of a computer program.
  794. >The program is written in C++, naturally.
  795. >If you've written it down correctly, it *should* output the Fibonacci sequence; that is, if you had a computer to run it on.
  796. >Computers may not exist in Equestria, but that's no excuse for you to let those skills you've learned go to waste.
  797. >You never know what the future may hold; those ponies over at Manehattan may figure computers out one day.
  798. >As you consider what your next line of code will be, you hear a pony trot up to you.
  799. >"Hey, Anon!"
  800. >You glance up from your notepad to see Starlight Glimmer staring at you with an intrigued expression.
  801. "Hey, Starlight."
  802. >"What are you writing? Whatever it is, you've been at it for quite a while."
  803. "Oh, this? It's nothing special; it's just…"
  804. >You pause as your lips purse, suddenly remembering the "magic incident" from a little while back.
  805. >A wry smile forms on your face.
  806. "…Magic."
  807. >"Really? Let me see!" She reaches out a forehoof to your notepad.
  808. >You move your notepad away from her in response, holding it above your head.
  809. "Oh no, no. This magic…it's a bit different to what you're used to."
  810. >She raises an eyebrow.
  811. >"What do you mean?"
  812. "It's—uh, human magic, yeah."
  813. >"Huh? But I thought humans didn't know how to use magic."
  814. "They don't—at least not in the way you ponies do."
  815. >She raises her other eyebrow.
  816. >"Well, now I *have* to see what's in there! Come on, Nonny!"
  817. >You shake your head.
  818. "Nah, I'm afraid you're not quite ready for it. You don't have the—uh, 'human magical aptitude' for it, very important."
  819. >She squints at you.
  820. >"Oh, so that's how it is. I see."
  821. "Yeah, them's the brakes."
  822. >"I guess I'll just have to read this similar-looking notepad that I found."
  823. >She levitates a notepad over to herself; it does indeed look similar to yours.
  824. "Huh…wait—"
  825. >You notice that your hand feels lighter…
  826. >Because you're no longer holding onto anything.
  827. >She just yoinked your notepad!
  828.  
  829. "Hey!"
  830. >She giggles.
  831. >You attempt to retrieve your notepad from her magical grip, but a magical barrier blocks your hand.
  832. >"Hehe, sorry, Anon—them's the brakes!"
  833. >She leisurely levitates your notepad up to her face and begins looking through it.
  834. >"Now let's see here…"
  835. >As she reads through your code, her smile falls and her brows knit.
  836. >Man, you'll be the first to admit that you never wrote the cleanest code out there, but you never thought it'd warrant *this* kind of reaction.
  837. "Aw, come on; it's not *that* bad, is it?"
  838. >"Um…I—"
  839. >Her posture suddenly stiffens and her pupils shrink to pinpricks.
  840. "Heh, or is it too much for you?" You chuckle. "Don't worry about it; we can't all be—"
  841. >"Zero. One. One. Two. Three. Five. Eight," she states with a robotic tone.
  842. "Uh…say again?"
  843. >"Thirteen. Twenty one. Thirty four."
  844. >Wait, is she…?
  845. >"Fifty five. Eighty nine."
  846. >She is! She's "printing" out the Fibonacci sequence!
  847. >You learn something new about these ponies every day.
  848. >"One hundred and forty four. Two hundred and thirty three."
  849. >But…oh crap! You forgot to write a way to exit the program—she's stuck in a programming loop!
  850. "Starlight!"
  851. >"Three hundred and seventy seven. Six hundred and ten."
  852. >The magical barrier has dissipated, so you grab her by the shoulders and shake her; she drops the notepad on the floor.
  853. "Starlight! Snap out of it!"
  854. >"Nine hundred and…eighty…seven…"
  855. >She goes silent and slack in your arms.
  856. "P-phew…"
  857. >You gently set her down on the floor.
  858. >Noticing your notepad lying on the ground, you snap it up, gazing pensively into its pages for a few moments.
  859. >A light groaning sound notifies you of Starlight slowly regaining consciousness; she sits back up, tenderly rubbing her scalp with a hoof.
  860. >"Urgh… Wh-what happened?"
  861. >You quickly rip out the offending page from your notebook and tear it into many indiscernible pieces.
  862. "Nothing. Nothing happened."
  863. >Ponykind isn't ready to learn of their innate ability to compile code quite just yet.
  864.  
  865. ***
  866.  
  867. - 19 - make_glimmy_relax.cc [COMFY] - (17/01/24)
  868. ["-Glimmy can compile code innately
  869. -whenever she's going through her nervous panic attacks have her look at some code I wrote to make her that is supposed to immediately calm her down"]
  870. >You sit down in your room, reading a book.
  871. >It's not magic-related, but it's an enjoyable read all the same.
  872. >Or at it least it is—until Starlight busts into your room in a panic.
  873. >She begins rifling through your various drawers.
  874. >"No…"
  875. >She invades your closet.
  876. >"Maybe here…no…"
  877. >She rummages under your bed, and then shakes her head.
  878. >"Ugh, not here either!"
  879. >You can't take the suspense any longer, so you put down your book.
  880. "What's going on, Glimmy?"
  881. >"Sorry Anon, can't chat right now! I have to find it!"
  882. "And what's 'it,' exactly?"
  883. >"I…I…"
  884. >She turns to you, desperately struggling to keep her breathing controlled enough to properly respond to you.
  885. >"I-I lost one of Twilight's chairs!"
  886. "You 'lost' a chair?"
  887. >"Not just any chair—one of the ones that surround the Friendship Map over in the throne room!"
  888. "How on Equestria did you manage that one?"
  889. >"T-teleportation misfire! There was a *really* annoying fly buzzing around and it landed on one of the chairs and—"
  890. >She purses her lips.
  891. >"I-it doesn't matter! I *need* to find the chair before Twilight comes back from her trip to Canterlot!"
  892. "And…you thought you'd find it under my bed?"
  893. >She frowns.
  894. >"I…I don't know! I've looked everywhere else! Multiple times!"
  895. "I mean…if you really can't find it, then maybe you should just let Twilight know about it? She's probably got at least five contingency plans for this exact scenario."
  896. >"No! She can't know about this—no matter what! This is one of the pieces of the Friendship Map we're talking about here, Anon! No—it's part of the castle itself—part of the Tree of Harmony that made it!"
  897. "Well I—"
  898. >"If she finds out about this—she'll never trust me again! Or"—she gasps—"maybe she'll disown me as her student and exile me from Ponyville—from Equestria! O-or what if she turns me to stone, Anon?! W-what then!?"
  899. >Starlight continues to rapidly ramble to herself about increasingly dire doomsday scenarios.
  900. >You sigh; it looks like it's finally time to use "that."
  901.  
  902. >Reaching into your pocket, you pull out your trusty notepad, flipping to a specific page.
  903. >You had a hunch something like this would happen sooner or later, so you always keep it close by.
  904. "Hey Starlight,"—you raise your notepad—"have a look at this."
  905. >"I-I can't, Anon! There's no time!"
  906. >You clear your throat.
  907. "I've written down a spell here that'll help you find your misplaced chair."
  908. >If Starlight was a level-headed mare, she'd quickly call your bluff.
  909. >"Why didn't you say so? Show me!"
  910. >But as she obviously *isn't* level headed right now, she magically snaps up your notepad out from your hand.
  911. >Her eyes quickly scan through the open page.
  912. >As she does, her eyes blink a few times and she begins to parse the contents within at a slower rate.
  913. >"Hm?"
  914. >Her breathing steadies, and her posture relaxes.
  915. >Eventually, she looks up at you with a raised eyebrow.
  916. >"I don't get it."
  917. "You don't have to—it's magic."
  918. >She stares at you for a few moments, then she snickers.
  919. >"Very funny, Anon. But come on now; this is serious."
  920. "Hah, my bad."
  921. >She floats the notepad back over to you.
  922. >As you grab it, you address her.
  923. "So, Glimmy, do you feel better now?"
  924. >"Better…? Oh!"
  925. >She raises a hoof up to her chest and takes a deep breath.
  926. >"I do feel a bit better, actually!"
  927. "Glad to hear it."
  928. >"There's still the matter of the chair, though…"
  929. "Take your time."
  930. >After humming on the situation for a few moments, she smiles at you.
  931. >"You know, I think you're right, Anon. This is a problem I can't quite solve on my own, and Twilight has been nothing but understanding whenever I happen to mess things up."
  932. >She sighs.
  933. >"I was overreacting back there, big time; sorry about that."
  934. "Don't worry about it—happens to the best of us."
  935. >"I guess all I really needed to do was talk my problems out, huh?"
  936. "Uh…yeah, totally. Just needed to talk it out."
  937. >She performs a few stretches and yawns.
  938. >"I'm gonna go buy an apology gift for Twilight—just in case. Then I think I'll take a nap; all of this panicking has left me exhausted. Thanks for lending an ear, Anon!"
  939. "Sounds good. See you around, Glimmy."
  940. >She leisurely trots out of your room.
  941. >After she leaves, you look over your notepad.
  942. >A little while back, you had learned that ponies have the peculiar ability to compile and run written code.
  943. >So you wrote down a short program in your spare time; its aim—to calm Starlight down whenever she's going through one of her panic attacks.
  944. >It turns out writing programs for ponies is easier than it sounds.
  945. >All you had to do was set the "neurotic_panic" variable to zero.
  946. >Is it ethically dubious? Yes.
  947. >Is it very effective? Also yes.
  948. >…God, you're starting to sound like her, now.
  949.  
  950. ***
  951.  
  952. - 20 - Stop! Glimmer Time! [COMFY] - (18/01/24)
  953. [https://derpibooru.org/images/1770527 ]
  954. >You're in the shower, enjoying the feeling of the hot water running down your skin.
  955. >You sigh in relief; God bless magically-heated water.
  956. >Holding a back scrubber in your hand, you carefully angle it to clean those hard-to-reach places around your back.
  957. >It's bliss; it's—
  958. >You are suddenly, briefly blinded by a flash of turquoise light.
  959. >"Stop! It's Glimmer Time!"
  960. "H-huh? Whazzat?"
  961. >"It…uh…"
  962. >As your vision returns to you, you see that Starlight Glimmer has teleported into your shower enclosure.
  963. >And she is now currently staring upon your naked form, eyes slowly widening.
  964. "AAAHHH!"
  965. >"AAAHHH!"
  966. >She promptly teleports out.
  967.  
  968. >You're in a library over at Canterlot, reading a Daring Do book; it has your interest piqued.
  969. >The titular protagonist has just been locked inside a burning warehouse by Doctor Caballeron and his goons; not only that, but venomous (yet curiously-fire-resistant) snakes have begun to pour in through cracks in the walls.
  970. >Trapped between either flatlining in flames or perishing to poison; how will the intrepid pegasus get out of *this* situation?
  971. >You eagerly press on, reading that Daring Do boldly removes her hat, twirling it around one of her forehooves.
  972. >She then throws it towards—
  973. >A bright, loud flash of magic breaks your concentration.
  974. >"Stop! It's Glimmer Time!"
  975. "Wh-whuhuh?"
  976. >Starlight Glimmer has once again teleported in front of you.
  977. >A loud hushing sound from the other patrons in the library startles you both.
  978. >Starlight looks around, quickly realising where she is, and blushes in embarrassment.
  979. >"O-oh, sorry!"
  980. >She promptly teleports out.
  981. >You look back to your book and read onto the next page.
  982. >'To be continued in the next book!'
  983. "Damn it."
  984. >"Shh!"
  985.  
  986. >You are seated on the train heading from Canterlot to Ponyville.
  987. >There's an elderly stallion seated next to you. He makes small talk with you; actually, it's more like "at you" than "with you."
  988. >You smile and nod for the most part.
  989. >"…And just so you know, I had to open a door by its handle just to get into this cart!"
  990. "Uh huh."
  991. >"Anyway, seeing a 'hue man' wandering around with those hands of yours got me wonderin'…"
  992. "Yeah…?"
  993. >"Why do they call 'em 'handles' and not 'hoofles' or summin'?"
  994. "Huh…"
  995. >You turn to face him.
  996. "That's a good—"
  997. >You suddenly hear the telltale sound of teleportation, but it sounds muffled.
  998. >"Stop! It's…it's Glimmer Time!"
  999. >You turn your head to see Starlight Glimmer, again.
  1000. "Uh, hey, Starlight."
  1001. >"Hi…Anon!"
  1002. "You doing alright there?"
  1003. >"Never…hah…better!"
  1004. >You give Starlight a concerned look from the other side of the train window.
  1005. >She's outside the moving train, using a self-levitation spell to keep pace, but you can see that it's tiring her out fast.
  1006. >"Actually I…hah…I think I'll…I'll catch up with you…hah…later…"
  1007. "S-sure, see you."
  1008. >She slows down, disappearing from view.
  1009. >The stallion seated next to you gives you a bemused look.
  1010. >"Is she a friend of yours?"
  1011. >You sigh.
  1012. "More or less, yeah."
  1013.  
  1014. >Night falls, and you are in your bedroom, sitting down on a chair.
  1015. >You carefully set up a house of cards on a table.
  1016. >Each action you take is done with meticulous consideration to the fragile state of your structure.
  1017. >Even the slightest misstep could—
  1018. >"Stop! It's Glimmer Time!"
  1019. >Aaand there it goes.
  1020. >You shield your eyes as Starlight suddenly teleports onto your table.
  1021. >This time, she has materialised herself into the dead centre of your house of cards, sending your poor playing cards flying all over the room.
  1022. >As she looks around, noticing the mess she has inadvertently made, she grins sheepishly.
  1023. >"O-oh, whoops!"
  1024. "Don't worry about it."
  1025. >You're not mad, or even surprised.
  1026. >Because this was actually your plan all along.
  1027. >Starlight has been displaying the uncanny ability to show up at the most inopportune times.
  1028. >Upon realising this, you sought to reverse engineer this phenomenon within the controlled environment of your very own bedroom.
  1029. >In other words—your house of cards was a necessary sacrificial lamb to summon the Lilac One.
  1030. "I'm not gonna ask how you keep showing up like this."
  1031. >You stand up, looking at Starlight—who is now sitting on your table.
  1032. "But I do want to know this—what *is* Glimmer Time?"
  1033. >Her eyes widen.
  1034. >"Oh right! I still haven't told you yet."
  1035. >She stands and rears up, spreading her forelegs wide.
  1036. >"Bring it here, Anon."
  1037. >You raise an eyebrow, but nonetheless follow her instructions, leaning in towards her.
  1038. >She wraps her forelegs around your back, bringing you into a hug; you wrap your arms around her back to reciprocate.
  1039. >As she rests her head on your shoulder, she whispers in your ear.
  1040. >"This is Glimmer Time."
  1041. "O-oh."
  1042. >Maybe Glimmer Time ain't so bad, after all.
  1043.  
  1044. ***
  1045.  
  1046. - 21 - Glim in the Chair [COMFY] - (20/01/24)
  1047. [https://derpibooru.org/images/1503221 ]
  1048. >"This is a really nice chair! It's so cosy!"
  1049. "Um, thanks."
  1050. >In your room, Starlight Glimmer sits in your Gamer™ Chair™; it's an ergonomic desk chair with plenty of padding.
  1051. >And it's padding that Starlight eagerly makes use of as she leisurely reclines against the backseat of the chair, resting her forelegs on the armrests and dangling her hind legs off of the seat.
  1052. >Her pose is oddly humanoid, making you wonder if she's been hanging out with that minty green unicorn that you've caught spying on you every now and again.
  1053. "Well I'm glad you like it; it's one of a kind."
  1054. >"Mhmm!" She shuts her eyes and absent-mindedly kicks her hind legs about in the air.
  1055. >She's clearly taken to your chair like a cat to a tree.
  1056. >You reflect on your current situation.
  1057. >For some reason, when you had arrived in Equestria, your chair came with you, despite the fact that you weren't even close to it at the time.
  1058. >As why it came with you: maybe all those cumulative years of sitting on it had resulted in it fusing with your magical signature.
  1059. >Or something like that—you're not sure; dimensional teleportation and its quirks are still a mystery to you.
  1060. >The presence of your Gamer™ Chair™ was quickly forgotten in favour of the alien biped's sudden arrival into Magical Horse Land, which gave you the opportunity to covertly store it away within your new lodgings.
  1061. >From there, your chair would remain under your personal jurisdiction, away from prying eyes—unbeknown to any other inhabitant in this world.
  1062. >That is, until today, when Starlight—against all odds—somehow managed to perceive its presence despite it being expertly hidden away in the corner of your room.
  1063. >You don't understand—that spare bed sheet draped over it should've concealed it completely!
  1064. >Once she had discovered it, all bets were off—she *had* to try it out.
  1065. >Upon exiting your brief moment of reflection, you see that Starlight is still sitting in her—wait, no—YOUR chair; she hums to herself with her eyes still closed.
  1066. "So, if you're done…"
  1067. >She opens her eyes; they glimmer with intrigue.
  1068. >"Wait just one moment! I noticed earlier that this chair has wheels on the bottom, so there's something I've been meaning to try out."
  1069. >You purse your lips—you can see where this is going.
  1070. >Her horn lights up, and she gives her chair a magical nudge, causing it to slide a short distance.
  1071. >"Oh! It really moved!" She giggles excitedly.
  1072. >You're still surprised that a unicorn can find such amusement in a moving chair, considering she's capable of levitating any old seat.
  1073. >Feeling a bit more daring this time, Starlight gives the chair a stronger magical shove, sending the chair—and her—careening past you and across your room's floor.
  1074. >"Whee!"
  1075. >While part of you is happy she's having so much fun, another part of you is worried because your bedroom isn't that large and she launched that chair pretty quickly and—
  1076. "W-wait, watch the chair—!"
  1077.  
  1078. >You quickly glance at where the chair went and see it being held within a turquoise aura—mere moments away from crashing into a wall; the chair faces away from you.
  1079. >As you wipe the sweat from your brow, you see Starlight peek at you from atop the headrest; she gives you an apologetic grin and dissipates her magical aura.
  1080. >"Ahahah…sorry Anon. Guess I got a little carried away…"
  1081. >You walk over to her and the chair.
  1082. "It's alright; as long as you're not hurt. Come on, let's put this thing away."
  1083. >Once you reach Starlight, you grab the chair by an arm and spin it around so that she faces you.
  1084. >She looks at you with shock.
  1085. >"Wait, what did you just do?"
  1086. >Oh no.
  1087. >Starlight gives the chair a curious look, then her horn lights up again.
  1088. >The chair spins slightly.
  1089. >"Wh-whoa!"
  1090. >Her horn continues to glow, and the chair's revolution continues to increase in speed; she and the chair soon become a spinning blur.
  1091. >You see her raise her forelegs, pointing them towards the ceiling in a gesture of childish glee as she continues to amuse herself with your swivelling chair.
  1092. >"Woo!"
  1093. >After watching the chair rotate for a few more seconds, you grab it by the headrest, stopping it.
  1094. "Gonna have to stop you there, Glimmy. Don't think it'll benefit either of us to have you get dizzy and puke on my chair."
  1095. >"Aw…" She pouts, lowering her forelegs.
  1096. "Now come on—let's put my chair away already."
  1097. >"Your chair?" She raises an eyebrow at you.
  1098. >You squint your eyes at her.
  1099. "Yes."
  1100. >Her horn lights up once more; she slides the chair past you, rotating it along the way so she can maintain eye contact with you.
  1101. >You have to admit, you're impressed with how much chair-fu she's picked up in such a short time—but you're less impressed with her attitude right now.
  1102. >You sigh as you follow her to the other side of your room, where she stops her chair against the wall.
  1103. "Glimmy…come on."
  1104. >"I don't know, Anon. This chair is reeeaaallyyy"—she wiggles into the backseat, happily humming to herself—"comfy! And you want to keep it all for yourself? That doesn't sound right."
  1105. "It *is* right. This chair is clearly too powerful for Ponykind to handle."
  1106. >"Is that so? I like to think I'm handling it pretty well. In fact…"
  1107. >She rests an elbow on an armrest, angling her forehoof upwards.
  1108. >"I think I could use a chair like this in *my* room."
  1109. >She leans into her raised forehoof and rests her head on it.
  1110. >And then she smirks at you.
  1111. >"Maybe I'll keep it for myself."
  1112. >Oh that's it.
  1113. "If that's how it is,"—you roll up your sleeves—"you leave me no choice."
  1114. >"Oh~?"
  1115. >You move in close and lean in from above, looking down upon her.
  1116. >She reclines back into the chair, craning her neck upwards to look back at you; her breathing quickens.
  1117. >You crack your knuckles; she eyes your hands intently.
  1118. >Your hands soon close in on her…
  1119. >And you tickle the living daylights out of her.
  1120. >…
  1121. >The two of you would later settle on a compromise to share the chair.
  1122.  
  1123. ***
  1124.  
  1125. - 22 - Artificially Glim [COMFY] [MEME] - (01/02/24)
  1126. >Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer are engaged in a conversation of some kind within the Friendship Castle's library.
  1127. >They're probably talking about "friendship" or "magic" or something else along those lines.
  1128. >Whatever it is, they seem invested; it's a shame that such conversational bliss is about to be interrupted by the likes of you.
  1129. >But you have a very good reason for doing so.
  1130. >You walk up to them with purpose in every stride.
  1131. "Twilight." You nod to the alicorn.
  1132. "…Starlight." You nod to the…other one.
  1133. >"Hey Anon!" Twilight greets you. "How are you doing today?"
  1134. >Starlight nods at you with a smile.
  1135. "Fine. Just. Peachy."
  1136. >"I'm glad to hear it. Me and Starlight were just—"
  1137. >You raise your hand and loudly clear your throat.
  1138. "Hold that thought, Twilight."
  1139. >"Huh? Is something wrong?" Twilight tilts her head.
  1140. "You could say that…"
  1141. >Your eyes have not left Starlight ever since you walked up to these two ponies.
  1142. "This Starlight,"—you point to the mare in question—"this Starlight right here."
  1143. >Twilight glances at her, then back to you.
  1144. "She's a fake—a pale imitation."
  1145. >"What?!" Starlight replies, recoiling in offence.
  1146. >"Yeah! What?!" Twilight stamps her hoof. "How could you say that, Anon?! Starlight's our friend!"
  1147. "She is—which is exactly why I know she's a fake."
  1148. >"Anon, if this is a joke—it's really not funny." Starlight looks at you with hurt in her eyes.
  1149. >Twilight nods in agreement.
  1150. >You shake your own head in disappointment; you'd figure Twilight would have a keener eye than this, but it looks like it's up to you to bring the bacon of proof.
  1151. "I'm dead serious. I've seen more than my fair share of Glimmers; I'm what you would call an expert in the field of Glimmer—a Glimologist, if you will."
  1152. >Twilight rolls her eyes.
  1153. >You crouch down and scrutinise Starlight further.
  1154. >Glancing at her curled mane, you see that it's comprised of a balanced blend of purple and turquoise; the colours are combined perfectly—too perfectly.
  1155. "Look at her mane; doesn't it look off to you, Twilight?"
  1156. >"Her…mane. It looks off?"
  1157. "Yes."
  1158. >You poke it, which elicits a "Hey!" from Starlight.
  1159. "It's too…detailed, too fluffy. And her signature curl is curved completely different."
  1160. >You side-eye Twilight.
  1161. "Come on, Twilight—how can you *not* notice these crucial details?"
  1162. >Twilight shoots you an unamused look.
  1163. >"You mean to tell me that you think Starlight is a fake…because her mane is pointing in a different direction?"
  1164. >You sigh.
  1165. "And the texture, and the colours, hell—even the smell; her mane smells…"
  1166. >You sniff around her mane, then wrinkle your nose.
  1167. "…Artificial."
  1168.  
  1169. >Starlight huffs.
  1170. >"So I used a different brand of mane conditioner this morning—so what? I can style my mane however I want."
  1171. "Sure, sure…"
  1172. >The mane approach isn't working; you're going to have to try a different tactic.
  1173. >From what you remember—these fakers always fumble their disguises when it comes to their cutie marks.
  1174. >You stand up and lean to the side, trying to get a good look at her flank.
  1175. >Starlight sees your calculated movements and rolls her eyes.
  1176. >"What is it now?"
  1177. "I noticed that you've been keeping your cutie mark out of view." You cross your arms. "Got something to hide?"
  1178. >"What? No I'm not." She turns to the side and flicks her mane in your direction. "Go ahead—knock yourself out."
  1179. >You squint at her cutie mark.
  1180. >It's a magical star with two green trails.
  1181. >Definitely Starlight's.
  1182. "Hm…"
  1183. >"Well?"
  1184. "It…well, it certainly *looks* like Starlight's cutie mark."
  1185. >"That's because it *is,* Anon," Twilight grumbles at you.
  1186. "Perhaps, perhaps… But…"
  1187. >You lean back and make a finger frame with your hands with Starlight's cutie mark as the focus.
  1188. "I'm not entirely convinced; maybe it's a newer model or something. Or…hm…maybe you used inpainting to get it right?"
  1189. >"So you're saying that I painted over my cutie mark?" Starlight raises an eyebrow.
  1190. >Twilight gasps.
  1191. >"Anonymous! What is *with* you today?! Starlight would *never* do something like that! She's moved past that part of her life!"
  1192. >"Yeah!" Starlight nods in agreement.
  1193. "No, I said 'inpainting,' not 'painting.' There's a difference."
  1194. >"I don't care! Anon—you're being really insensitive right now! You should apologise to Starlight!"
  1195. "I'll never apologise to a fake."
  1196. >Twilight grits her teeth.
  1197. "Another thing: this entire scene,"—you wildly gesture around the room—"it isn't right."
  1198. >"My…my *castle* isn't good enough for you now?!"
  1199. "Not when it's clearly being faked."
  1200. >You walk up to a nearby crystalline pillar and trace your finger downwards.
  1201. "Look at this pillar, for example. It's"—your finger reaches the floor—"clearly merged with the floor in an unnatural way."
  1202. >You turn back to the duo.
  1203. "If this architecture was real, there'd be a clear divide between the pillar and the floor."
  1204. >Twilight is shaking slightly; Starlight just looks confused.
  1205. >"That pillar," Twilight states through gritted teeth, "has *always* been like that! I would *know!* I've lived here for several years!"
  1206. "Oh? Still not enough proof for you? Then how about this?"
  1207. >Striding over to a nearby bookshelf, you grab a random book open it.
  1208. >You point to the gobbledygook letters written on the pages.
  1209. "And what the hell is this nonsense?!"
  1210. >Twilight briefly glances at the words; her eye twitches.
  1211. >"That's…that's Standard Equestrian, Anon."
  1212. "More like Standard Nonsense. Are you seriously not seeing this, Twilight? This all points towards Starlight being a complete fak—"
  1213. >"That is ENOUGH!" Twilight shouts.
  1214.  
  1215. >She takes a low stance, eyes full of rage.
  1216. >"First you insult my friend, then you insult my castle, and now you…you…"
  1217. >She grinds her teeth together.
  1218. >"You insult my BOOKS!" She loudly stamps her hoof, making you and Starlight jump.
  1219. >"I don't know what's gotten into you, Anon. But you need to leave, now."
  1220. "Really, Twilight? You're really gonna defend this slop? I expected better from you."
  1221. >"S-slop…?"
  1222. >Her horn sparks up.
  1223. >Before anything else can happen, another Starlight trots into the room.
  1224. >"Guys, is everything alright in here? I heard yelling and…uh…"
  1225. >Starlight Glimmer stops in her tracks as she glances at the unlikely trio of your natural magnificence, a Twilight about to go postal, and the fake Starlight.
  1226. >Her eyes focus onto the fake Starlight.
  1227. "Oh, hey Glimmy."
  1228. >"Hey… Why is there another me here?"
  1229. >Fake Starlight's eyes nervously flit around.
  1230. >"B-because I…uh…well actually you're the—"
  1231. "Because this one's a fake, obviously. You can tell by the words written on the books." You tap the book in your hand for emphasis.
  1232. >"Huh…" Starlight glares at the faker.
  1233. >There is a tense silence.
  1234. >Then the faker speaks up.
  1235. >"…AGH! Forget this! This isn't worth it! Nopony told me there'd be a paranoid nutjob in here!"
  1236. >The fake Starlight bursts into green flames, revealing some kind of black, chitinous quadruped.
  1237. >It quickly scurries out of a nearby corridor to make its escape.
  1238. >"Hey!" Starlight yells. "Get back here! That was *my* look you were just copying!"
  1239. >She gives chase, leaving you alone with Twilight.
  1240. >You briefly glance at Twilight; she stares at the ground, seemingly lost in thought.
  1241. "Well, my work is done here."
  1242. >You walk away from the scene.
  1243. >"Wait, Anon!"
  1244. >Twilight trots alongside you, giving you a repentant look.
  1245. >"I…I owe you an apology."
  1246. "It's all good; you get used to scepticism in this line of work."
  1247. >"No, really. I was about to fly off the handle back there; that was out of line from me, and I apologise."
  1248. "Hey, as long as you now know about the dangers of fraudsters, then consider it water under the bridge."
  1249. >"Yeah…"
  1250. >She nods solemnly.
  1251. >"By the way, Anon. You were incredible back there. How did you know that she was a changeling?"
  1252. "Changeling?"
  1253. >You stop in your tracks and turn to face Twilight.
  1254. "I just call out aislop when I see it."
  1255.  
  1256. ***
  1257.  
  1258. - 23 - Peacecock [NSFW] [MEME] - (05/02/24)
  1259. ["SOMEPONY FUCK ME RIGHT NOW OR I WILL DESTROY EQUESTRIA"]
  1260. >You are Anonymous, and you are chilling.
  1261. >There's a mug of delicious apple cider in your left hand.
  1262. >A copy of the "Ponyville Chronicle" in your right.
  1263. >And a nice firm bench under your buttocks.
  1264. >You sit in a public park in Ponyville, enjoying the quiet ambience, the warm sun shining overhead, and the feel of the cool breeze against your face.
  1265. >Nothing could possibly ruin this day.
  1266. >"EXCUSE ME?"
  1267. >Nothing, nothing at all—
  1268. >"Miss, if you would please calm down—"
  1269. >"Oh, OH! You're telling me to CALM DOWN, are you? That's RICH! What was it you called me again? Go on—say it. Say it so everypony around us can hear."
  1270. >You raise your newspaper up to your face and give it your full attention; ignorance is bliss.
  1271. >"M-miss, I didn't call you anything, I just—"
  1272. >You hear the loud thud of a hoof stomping on the dirt.
  1273. >"Oh, you DIDN'T? Because I'm *pretty* sure you called me a STRESS-CASE back there."
  1274. >"N-no! I didn't! I-I just said your eyes made you look a little stressed. That's all! I didn't mean anything bad by it!"
  1275. >You hear cackling.
  1276. >"STRESSED! Haha! That's right! STRESSED! Oh, look at poor, stressy Starlight, always on the verge of another meltdown; let's all look at her and LAUGH!"
  1277. >You hear an "eep!" and the sound of a poor pony being dragged across the dirt.
  1278. >"Do you want to know WHY I'm so STRESSED, huh? Do you? Well? Do you?"
  1279. >"I…I…"
  1280. >"Because I haven't had any DICK in ages! That's right! Go on, everypony—laugh! Poor pathetic MARECEL Starlight can't get ANY stallion to look at her in a favourable light! Well I've had it! I've had enough!"
  1281. >You hear the hurried clopping sounds of another pony galloping onto the scene.
  1282. >"Starlight Glimmer! That is enough! This mare hasn't done anything wrong! Let's all just—"
  1283. >"SHUT UP, TWILIGHT! Everypony here—they all still see the old, evil Starlight. The Starlight who ruled over an entire village with fear and travelled back in time to try and break up the Elements of Harmony! That Starlight! After EVERYTHING I've done for you ungrateful ponies you STILL can't forgive and forget!"
  1284. >"Starlight they don't—"
  1285. >"No! NO! I'm done pretending to be nice—pretending to be 'reformed' if THIS is all of the THANKS and APPRECIATION I get! If all of the ponies here only see EVIL, STRESSED STARLIGHT, then maybe they'll GET—"
  1286. >A purple magical force suddenly rips your newspaper in two.
  1287. "Wha—hey! Who did that? I was reading that!"
  1288. >With your paper shield now rendered obsolete, you are forced to look at the scene a fair distance away from you.
  1289. >Over by the fountain, you see Starlight Glimmer ranting and raving to some poor mare who's whimpering on the ground.
  1290. >Several ponies stand around uncomfortably; all of them look ready to leave, but none of them dare make a move in fear of agitating Starlight even further.
  1291. >Twilight Sparkle stands next to her, and she's staring right at you.
  1292.  
  1293. "It was you, wasn't it?" you mouth at Twilight.
  1294. >She nods.
  1295. >And she flicks her head towards the hysterical Starlight.
  1296. >You shake your head.
  1297. >She then gives you that look.
  1298. >That look that says "you know what you have to do."
  1299. >You give her that "do I really have to?" look.
  1300. >She gives you that "you better fix this mess right now or I'm telling Princess Celestia *and* Pinkie Pie about your little cake-laundering business" look.
  1301. "Son of a bitch…"
  1302. >So you begrudgingly give her the "okay, fuck, fine. I'll do it" look.
  1303. >You throw your shredded newspaper to the wind.
  1304. "Hold my beer," you say to the smiling minty green unicorn that you've only just noticed was standing suspiciously close to you this entire time.
  1305. >"Oh, uh, sure!" She magically grabs your mug of cider.
  1306. >You get off the bench and stomp over to Starlight's location, ignoring the loud gulping noise coming from behind you.
  1307. >On your way over, you unbutton your shirt, tossing it to the side.
  1308. >Then comes the pants; after unzipping your fly, you pull them down and kick them to the side.
  1309. >And finally, your boxers; after pulling them down too, you hold them up in one hand.
  1310. >You're like Clark Kent disrobing his civilian guise in order to become the Man of Steel.
  1311. >But in your case—there's only one part of you that's as hard as metal right now.
  1312. >You make your way over to Starlight; she still screaming at that poor mare and hasn't noticed you yet.
  1313. >So you clear your throat.
  1314. "Hey Starlight."
  1315. >She sharply pivots to face you.
  1316. >"What—"
  1317. "Catch." You toss your boxers at her.
  1318. >They land on her face.
  1319. >"Ugh! What do YOU think you're playing…at…?" She sniffs through the fabric and her tail flags.
  1320. >You take the opportunity provided by your distraction to walk up close to her; you squat down in front of her.
  1321. >Starlight shakes her head, throwing the boxers off.
  1322. >She glares at you.
  1323. >"Do you think throwing your dirty undergarments at me is going to magically fix the years of mistreatment I've had to deal with from this town?! Huh?! Because…because…"
  1324. >Her eyes drift downwards to your exposed dick, and her nostrils flare out.
  1325. >"Uh…"
  1326. "No, I don't. But I know what will."
  1327. >You wrap your arms around her and grab her.
  1328. >"Ah!"
  1329. "Alright, up you go."
  1330. >You stand up, bringing her up with you.
  1331. >"H-hey! What do you think you're doing!"
  1332. "You, obviously."
  1333.  
  1334. >"O-oh…I-I…um…"
  1335. >You flip her around and shift your grip on her, holding her up against your chest by her hind legs to restrain her in a full nelson position.
  1336. >Starlight's breathing quickens in anticipation; she gulps.
  1337. >You give one sidelong glance to Twilight; she gives you a slow nod back.
  1338. >You look back to Starlight.
  1339. "Welp, brace yourself."
  1340. >You align your rod with her entrance.
  1341. >"H-hey!" Starlight yelps.
  1342. >You drop her onto your dick, burying yourself to the hilt.
  1343. >"Ooh~!"
  1344. >You begin to bounce her atop your length, thrusting into her with a heated passion.
  1345. >Her walls desperately and greedily contract around you.
  1346. >You pull out nearly all the way, teasing her labia with your tip, and then you thrust all the way back in, hilting once more.
  1347. >And every time you do so, her body shudders in pleasure.
  1348. >Her breathing slowly becomes more and more ragged over time.
  1349. >"Ah~ Oh! Anon! Aaanooon~! Mmph!"
  1350. >You slow down as she reaches her climax.
  1351. >Throwing her head back, Starlight cums, projectile squirting a few feet forward.
  1352. >Thankfully, you had the common sense to aim Starlight away from the fountain.
  1353. >But not enough sense to aim her away from that mare that Starlight was harassing earlier.
  1354. >You watch as Starlight's marejuice splashes onto the still-cowering mare.
  1355. >Oops.
  1356. >Anyway, Starlight might have finished, but you sure haven't.
  1357. >And you're not about to leave a job half-baked.
  1358. >Redoubling your efforts, you begin thrusting into her again.
  1359. >Your sudden movements surprise Starlight, causing her to gasp out.
  1360. >"Oh! I—Oh~!"
  1361. >You continue to pound away at her, bringing orgasm after orgasm out of her—squirt after squirt.
  1362. >And with every climax you bring, the deeper you bury those violent impulses inside her.
  1363. >Eventually, you feel your own eruption boiling over.
  1364. >And so, with a triumphant grunt, you bury yourself to the hilt one last time and fire off load after load deep inside her.
  1365. >The sensation sends you buckling to your knees, although you still manage to maintain your grip on Starlight.
  1366. >Your bodies convulse against one another and your breathing becomes ragged.
  1367. >Feeling yourself going limp, your dick flops out of Starlight's well-fucked folds; your combined lovejuices spill out onto the ground below.
  1368. >"Hah…hah…"
  1369. >You take a few moments to catch your own breath, before addressing her.
  1370. "Are you ready to behave now, Starlight?
  1371. >"Mm…"
  1372. >She rubs the back of her head against your chest and cranes her neck to smile up at you.
  1373. >"I-I'll be goo~ood, Anon. I prooomiiise~"
  1374. "You better."
  1375. >You look around; most of the crowd has dispersed.
  1376. >Keyword: "most."
  1377. >You turn your head to look at Twilight.
  1378. >And you raise an eyebrow at her.
  1379. "…Why are you still here, Twilight?"
  1380. >"I like to watch." She smiles at you.
  1381. >"I like to watch too!" the green unicorn from earlier shouts at you; she's sitting on the bench, sipping from your mug of apple cider.
  1382. >You frown.
  1383. >Fucking unicorns.
  1384.  
  1385. ***
  1386.  
  1387. - 24 - The Pick-me-up [COMFY] - (10/02/24)
  1388. >Starlight Glimmer has recently been appointed as the new Headmare of the School of Friendship by the old one—Twilight Sparkle.
  1389. >From guidance counsellor to running to the whole shebang—it's quite the career change, one filled with a slew of new and exciting obligations.
  1390. >Such obligations include keeping the curriculum up to date, organising school events, interviewing and hiring new staff, and—of course—following the ever-changing set of emergency protocols for whenever Discord decides to visit.
  1391. >To say the sudden flood of responsibilities swamped the poor mare is nothing short of an understatement.
  1392. >Sure, she has experience in running an isolated town in a meticulously-controlled environment, but when it comes to managing a turbulent school filled with students from all walks of life?
  1393. >All bets are off.
  1394. >The newly-appointed Vice-Headmare—Sunburst—has taken on his own share of work.
  1395. >And Trixie is…doing Trixie things.
  1396. >For your part, you've been helping Starlight acclimate to her new role as best as you can, assisting her when and where possible.
  1397. >But you could see the stress that her workflow was taking on her.
  1398. >Drooping eyebags, slurred speech, occasional bouts of spacing out—all of that not-so-good stuff and more.
  1399. >You left her office just last night, making sure to gently remind her not to overdo it.
  1400. >But you know Starlight, and you *especially* know of her tendency to overwork herself when faced with an ever-increasing number of responsibilities.
  1401. >So here you are in the School of Friendship during the early hours of the morning; you stand in front of the door to Headmare Starlight's office.
  1402. >From what you've gathered from students and colleagues: no-one has seen Starlight leave the school since yesterday.
  1403. >So naturally, you're a little worried about her.
  1404. >You knock on the door.
  1405. "Hey Starlight? I'm here to check up on you!"
  1406. >There's no answer.
  1407. "Starlight? You in there?"
  1408. >There's no response.
  1409. >So you knock again.
  1410. >Still no answer *or* response.
  1411. "Hm."
  1412. >After knocking a third time, you decide that three is your magic number.
  1413. >So you back up, ready to bust the door down and save the girl just like in your heroic action flicks.
  1414. >But then you realise that you should probably check the door to see if it's unlocked first.
  1415. >You check the door—it is indeed unlocked.
  1416. >Phew, almost did something regrettable, there.
  1417.  
  1418. >You open the door and head inside Starlight's office.
  1419. >The room is a large and very tall rotunda; it was previously Twilight's office, and now it's Starlight's.
  1420. >Lining the edges of this grandiose room are towering cabinets and shelves that are filled to the brim with all sorts of doo-dads and knick-knacks.
  1421. >There are a decent number of kites hanging off from the the bottom of the second floor balustrades, and a giant, garish portrait of Trixie hangs on one of the walls; it's clear that Starlight has had no issue getting settled in her new office—on the physical side of things, at least.
  1422. >You see Starlight's desk on the far side of the room; on that desk—you see that philodendron plant she loves so much, a quill in an inkwell, a coffee mug, and a *fat* stack of paperwork.
  1423. "Starlight! Where are—"
  1424. >And poking out from just behind the desk, you see a lilac hoof on the floor.
  1425. >A surge of adrenaline rushes through your body.
  1426. "Oh God, no!"
  1427. >Quickly making your way over to the desk, you see the rest of Starlight lying on the floor behind the desk, unconscious.
  1428. >You crouch down next to her and wrap an arm behind her upper body, carefully propping her up.
  1429. "Starlight!"
  1430. >You cautiously run a hand around her head, checking for any injuries that may have arisen from suddenly passing out.
  1431. >Thankfully, she doesn't appear to be hurt.
  1432. >As you sigh in relief, Starlight shifts slightly.
  1433. >"Mmrgh…"
  1434. "Starlight! Speak to me!"
  1435. >Her eyes weakly flutter open in response to your words; hazy though her vision may be, her persian blue eyes soon settle on your face.
  1436. >"N-need…"
  1437. >Her voice is frail and barely-audible, causing you to lean towards her with your head turned sideways so you can hear her better.
  1438. "Yeah…?"
  1439. >"Need coffee…"
  1440. "Coffee? Uh…"
  1441. >You scan the top of Starlight's desk.
  1442. >The coffee mug is still there; not only that, it's still filled with coffee.
  1443. >Considering how full it is, you'd wager that she wasn't able to get to her latest hit of caffeine on time before her lucidity gave up on her.
  1444. >You grab it; it's gone cold, but beggars can't be choosers.
  1445. "Here." You show the mug to her.
  1446. >She wordlessly parts her lips in response, and you take that as the go ahead to gently position the mug up to her snout.
  1447. >You angle it slightly so she can leisurely gulp the coffee down.
  1448. >A soft *glug glug glug* graces your ears for a few moments before she manages to finish the contents of the mug.
  1449. >As you move the mug away from her and place it back on the desk, she coughs.
  1450. >"Blurgh…cold…"
  1451. "And who's fault is that, eh?"
  1452. >"Friendship…uuurgh…"
  1453. >You roll your eyes.
  1454. "Anything else?"
  1455. >"Phyllis…"
  1456. >Scanning the desk once more, you quickly spy her potted philodendron plant—affectionately named "Phyllis."
  1457. >Taking the pot in your hand, you present it to her.
  1458. "Here he—"
  1459. >"She," Starlight is quick to correct you.
  1460. "*She* is."
  1461.  
  1462. >You slowly lower the plant down to her, but her horn lights up with a faint turquoise glow, and she magically carries Phyllis the rest of the way.
  1463. >Once the plant is close enough, she wraps her forelegs around the pot in a tight hug.
  1464. >She affectionately nuzzles Phyllis's leaves, making a high-pitched mewling sound as she does.
  1465. >"Mm… Mommy missed her baby…"
  1466. >You expertly suppress any of your awkward chuckles that threaten to surface while Starlight reconnects with her "baby."
  1467. >After an uncomfortably long period of parent-plant bonding passes, Starlight releases Phyllis and gently levitates it back onto the desk.
  1468. >She then looks back to you.
  1469. >"Anon…"
  1470. "Yeah? What else do you need?"
  1471. >"Anon…" She reaches out a hoof and weakly paws at your chest.
  1472. "I don't—"
  1473. >Your eyes widen slightly as you catch on to what she's inferring.
  1474. "Oh. Er…here, then."
  1475. >You hook your other arm under her body and pick her up, making your way over to the chair next to the desk.
  1476. >After you sit down on the chair, you sit Starlight on your lap, cradling her against your chest.
  1477. >She coos in contentment, closing her eyes and nuzzling against you.
  1478. >"Mm…missed you too…"
  1479. "It's only been a night."
  1480. >"Too long…"
  1481. >A smile forms on your lips as you tenderly pat through her mane.
  1482. >You look back at the desk, noting the towering pile of scrolls and sheets placed on top.
  1483. "You've certainly got a *lot* of paperwork up here."
  1484. >"It's friendship…"
  1485. "Friendship?" You raise an eyebrow.
  1486. >"*All* the friendship…"
  1487. "Ah…"
  1488. >The poor mare has been working herself ragged these past few days, and you have a pretty good idea as to why.
  1489. "Hey, Glimmy—I know you're trying your best to live up to Twilight's legacy as Headmare, but don't forget to give yourself some time to relax, alright?"
  1490. >She weakly groans, scrunching her snout.
  1491. >"But the friendship and the…mm…friendship."
  1492. >You sigh in response to her sleepy stubbornness.
  1493. >Her forelegs are curled up close to her chest, which steadily rises and falls against yours.
  1494. >She looks like she's ready to fall back asleep any moment now.
  1495. >You take one more look at the paperwork before addressing Starlight.
  1496. "So…you spent all night going through all this paperwork?"
  1497. >"Mm…"
  1498. "And you didn't give yourself any breaks?"
  1499. >"Mm…"
  1500. "And that caused you to pass out in the middle of the night?"
  1501. >"Mm…"
  1502. "And because of that—you're gonna take the rest of the day off so you can recuperate?"
  1503. >She opens her mouth to protest, but you sneak in a couple of fingers behind one of her ears and give her a few scritches.
  1504. >Your ministrations convince her to close her mouth.
  1505. >"…Mm…"
  1506. "Atta girl."
  1507. >With that, you begin to hear the noises of a softly snoring Starlight as she gently drifts off into slumberland within your grasp; you smile.
  1508. >Running an entire school certainly isn't going to be a walk in the park by any stretch.
  1509. >But just as Twilight's friends were there for her—you'll be there for Starlight, every step of the way.
  1510.  
  1511. ***
  1512.  
  1513. - 25 - Bump Bump Bump [NSFW] [MEME] - (12/02/24)
  1514. [Horny Glimmy prompt thread lives for a bit too long; Anon is disgruntled]
  1515. >*Bump*
  1516. >Ah, /mlp/—an entire board dedicated to your favourite show.
  1517. >*Bump*
  1518. >What was once a place of containment to siphon off the cancer from the rest of the website has blossomed into something that's now in a league of its own.
  1519. >*Bump*
  1520. >With a rich flow of various topics being posted to the board every day, it's like—
  1521. >*Bump*
  1522. "Tch…"
  1523. >—it's like a circle of life; the old, depreciated topics with no discussion left in them fall off the bottom of page ten, and—
  1524. >*Bump*
  1525. "Gah…"
  1526. >—and that…and that makes room for new topics, bringing in new discussion and—
  1527. >*Bump*
  1528. "FUCK!"
  1529. >You calm yourself, taking a few deep breaths.
  1530. >In…out…
  1531. >In…out…
  1532. >…Okay? Okay.
  1533. >So, there are the generals, but—
  1534. >*Bump*
  1535. "YOU!"
  1536. >That despicable horse—Starlight Glimmer—stops what she's doing to look at you.
  1537. >"Hm? What is it, Anon?"
  1538. "Stop bumping that shitty-ass thread!"
  1539. >"Huh, this one?"
  1540. >*Bump*
  1541. "YES—that one! Just…just fucking let it fall off page ten already!"
  1542. >"But I like it…" She frowns at you.
  1543. >You glance at the thread that she has been incessantly bumping back to the front page again and again.
  1544. >It's one where Starlight Glimmer begs for sex or she'll destroy Equestria or some shit.
  1545. >You scoff; of *course* she fucking likes it, the degenerate.
  1546. >And to make matters worse—some writefags actually gave the purple menace what she desired.
  1547. >When will those poor, deluded souls learn—the sex only makes her needier and hornier.
  1548. >*Bump*
  1549. "Agh—stop it! That thread has run its course!"
  1550. >"But what if a writer posts another greentext? I like reading those."
  1551. "I just told you—all of the writefags have left! Look—all they're doing is arguing about whether you're fucking Sunburst or not."
  1552. >"Ooh, Trixie's there too!"
  1553. >*Bump*
  1554. "I don't give a SHIT who's there! There's *nothing* left to talk about—content's dried up! Let it fucking DIE!"
  1555. >"But I'm still horny!"
  1556. >You roll your eyes.
  1557. "Tough luck. Deal with that shit on your own time."
  1558. >"So mean…" She pouts.
  1559. "And I can be so much meaner. Get over it; this board isn't your personal cum jar."
  1560. >She huffs in frustration, but a small, ominous smirk begins to form on her lips.
  1561. >"Is that so…"
  1562. >Her smirk continues to grow and grow as she reaches out her forehoof and…
  1563. "No. Don't you fucking do it—"
  1564. >*Bump*
  1565. "No!"
  1566. >You look back at the catalog and gasp.
  1567. "You…you just killed my Equestria Girls thread, you fucking bitch!"
  1568. >"Ooh… Such a shame…"
  1569. >*Bump*
  1570. "No! My bait thread! Fuck! It didn't even get any replies!"
  1571. >"Hm…maybe you should've picked some *juicier* bait?"
  1572. >*Bump*
  1573. >Your eyes shoot open.
  1574. "My…my cuntboy stallion thread…no…"
  1575. >She momentarily stops her bumping to give you a concerned look.
  1576. >"Um…okay?"
  1577.  
  1578. "You…you heartless cunt!"
  1579. >"Gee, Anon. I'm not the one killing those threads; I'm just bumping this one."
  1580. "If you weren't bumping this dead-ass thread, one of those other threads would still be alive!"
  1581. >Her smirk returns.
  1582. >"Oh, you mean like this~?"
  1583. >*Bump*
  1584. >You shoot her a wrathful, watery-eyed glare; you've had enough.
  1585. "T-that's fucking IT!" you scream.
  1586. >Without wasting any more time, you lunge at her, tackling her to the floor.
  1587. >"Ah!"
  1588. >Pinning her back to the floor, you restrain her forehooves with your own hands, gripping them with a fierce resolve.
  1589. >She gasps.
  1590. >"O-oh, Anon! T-this is…!"
  1591. >Yeah, you're engaging in unprotected, hand-to-hoof contact with your arch-nemesis right now.
  1592. >You can feel the sweaty palm of each of your hands pressing deeply against the frog of each of her hooves.
  1593. >Not only that, but with your bodies so close to one another, you can feel the rise and fall of her chest against yours.
  1594. >And how her hot marely breath washes over your neckline.
  1595. >It's fucking nasty, but you know that this has to be done.
  1596. >You look down at her.
  1597. "There,"—you tighten your grip around her forehooves—"no more bumping."
  1598. >A deep shade of red crosses her cheeks, yet she never breaks her infuriatingly smug smirk.
  1599. >"So…what now?"
  1600. >Shit, you didn't think that far ahead.
  1601. "I'll…I'll stay here as long as it takes for that fucking thread to fall off."
  1602. >"But that means you'll be here for hours~"
  1603. "That's a sacrifice I'm willing to make for the good of the board."
  1604. >"Hm…as much as I love that idea…"
  1605. >She giggles and lids her eyes at you.
  1606. >"I think you're forgetting something, Anon. Just because you've stopped my hooves doesn't mean I can't"—she lightly pushes her body up against yours—"bump~"
  1607. "Huh?"
  1608. >Her horn lights up, and—
  1609. "Wait—"
  1610. >*Bump*
  1611. "No!"
  1612. >You don't look at the catalog—you can't bear to see another fallen comrade.
  1613. >*Bump*
  1614. "NO!"
  1615. >*Bump*
  1616. "STOP IT!"
  1617. >"Make me~"
  1618. >*Bump*
  1619. >Fuck, what can you do?
  1620. >Suck on her horn—stop the magic coming out?
  1621. >God, that's gay as fuck, and you ain't no gaylord.
  1622. >You're a cuntboy enjoyer, and that shit's straight as hell.
  1623. >No… You know what needs to be done; you know what you have to do—
  1624. >*Bump*
  1625. "That's it," you growl.
  1626. >"Mm~?"
  1627. >You take your hands off of Starlight's hooves for a moment to unbuckle your undergarments.
  1628. >Your pants quickly come off.
  1629. >Starlight makes no move to escape; instead, she gazes at you attentively as you bare your all to her.
  1630. >Once your boxers come off, your erection springs to action in front of her.
  1631. >You are at full mast.
  1632. >But this is not an erection of tawdry arousal.
  1633. >It is one of righteous fury—of furious vengeance for the threads you have lost this day.
  1634. >Starlight bites her lip as she eyes your dick over.
  1635. >"Mmph… What's *that* for?"
  1636. "This"—you place your hands on your hips—"is to teach you a lesson."
  1637.  
  1638. >"A lesson…?"
  1639. >She tilts her head and flicks her tail.
  1640. >"What for~?"
  1641. >Her sing-song voice instinctively causes you to move in closer and closer.
  1642. >Pinning her down once more, you rest your hands at her sides.
  1643. >Then, you position your tip against the opening of her impatiently-winking mare pussy.
  1644. "You know what for."
  1645. >She huffs.
  1646. >"I dooon't… Why don't you remind me…?"
  1647. >You slowly rub your sceptre against the folds of her vulva, teasing her just enough to bring out several moans from her.
  1648. >"Nngh, come on…"
  1649. >You can feel her tail eagerly flicking from side to side, batting between your thighs.
  1650. >Frustrated as she is, she appears to have forgotten about her prior provocations.
  1651. >If you can distract her long enough, maybe you won't have to—
  1652. >"Oh!" She suddenly exclaims. "You mean thiiis…?"
  1653. >*Bump*
  1654. "You!"
  1655. >Your emotions take hold of you as you drive your dick straight into her depths.
  1656. >"O-oh~!" she gasps out.
  1657. >Arching your back, you're able to hilt yourself in her warm, wet insides in no time at all.
  1658. >You're so deep in her that you can feel yourself pressing against something solid.
  1659. "Heh…" A smirk forms on your face.
  1660. >This bitch thinks she can bump threads willy-nilly?
  1661. >Then you'll bump her womb with *your* willy.
  1662. "This…"
  1663. >You pull all out nearly all the way, leaving just the tip inside.
  1664. "…is for all of the threads you've bumped off the catalog!"
  1665. >And you thrust all the way back in.
  1666. >"A-ah~!"
  1667. >She mewls and moans under your weight as you punish her thoroughly, repeatedly, messily.
  1668. >It doesn't take long before her belligerent *bumping* sounds are completely replaced by the passionate *plapping* sounds of you pounding her provocative pony pussy.
  1669. "The prompt threads!"
  1670. >*Plap*
  1671. "The show discussion threads!"
  1672. >*Plap*
  1673. "The niche mare threads!"
  1674. >*Plap*
  1675. "Fuck—even the Pony Life threads! TAKE IT ALL!"
  1676. >*Plap plap plap*
  1677. >And with that, you give her womb a final, deeply personal *bump* as you fill her up with righteous goo.
  1678. >You look down at her—she shudders and shakes against your body, letting out a loud whinny as she hits her own orgasm.
  1679. >At some point, you must have interlocked your fingers with her hooves once more, as you grip them tightly.
  1680. >But fuck it; it's far too late to back out now.
  1681. >You give her a few more tempered thrusts as you drain the rest of your balls inside her.
  1682. >"Oooh~"
  1683. >Eventually, you dispense all of the liquid justice you have in the tank, and you pull out of her with a satisfying *plop.*
  1684. >You let go of her hooves and step back to admire your handiwork.
  1685. >Starlight's forelegs languidly lie upon her chest, which heaves up and down as she recovers from the poignant pounding that you just gave her.
  1686. >Her thoroughly-punished pussy still squirts out some of your combined fluids.
  1687. >One of her hind legs occasionally twitches, kicking at the air.
  1688. "Hmph, let this be a lesson to you—leave those dead-ass threads alone!"
  1689. >"Nngh…"
  1690. >You walk away, a job well done—
  1691. >*Bump*
  1692.  
  1693. ***
  1694.  
  1695. - 26 - Hearts and Kites [COMFY] - (14/02/24)
  1696. >It's Hearts and Hooves Day—also known as Valentine's Day back on your home world.
  1697. >You're spending it with…Starlight Glimmer, of course.
  1698. >And what better way to spend the most date-iest of dates than by indulging in your favourite shared hobby—kites!
  1699. >To that end, the two of you are setting up a kite outside.
  1700. >But it's not just any kite—no, this is a special one for a special occasion.
  1701. >It's a larger-than-usual kite, which naturally requires a larger-than-usual patch of land to properly launch it.
  1702. >So here you stand—in a nice, open, grassy field with no pesky obstructions to block your kite's flight zone.
  1703. >The afternoon sun shines down upon you, and there's a decent wind blowing.
  1704. >The kite in question lies flat on the ground several metres away.
  1705. >Starlight Glimmer stands to your right, and the both of you hold a circular strap each; both straps have a kite line attached to them that connect to the same kite's bridle, with yours connected to the left side, and hers to the right.
  1706. >You hold your strap in your hand while Starlight casually levitates hers in front of herself.
  1707. >"Okay! Anon, is your line secure?" She magically wiggles her line.
  1708. "Yep, ready to fly." You physically wiggle yours back.
  1709. >"Great! Let's take a couple steps back, and…"
  1710. >Following her instructions, the two of you step backwards, gently tugging at the kite to pull it into an upright position.
  1711. >Starlight hums excitedly.
  1712. >"Alright, next step! On the count of three, we both take a quick step back and pull our lines downwards at the same time. Sound good?"
  1713. "Gotcha."
  1714. >She nods at you and turns back to the kite.
  1715. >"One…"
  1716. >"Two…"
  1717. >"Three!"
  1718. >And with that, you take a step backwards while pulling the kite line down to your side in one smooth motion; Starlight performs a similar manoeuvre, matching your momentum.
  1719. >Your combined efforts launch the kite into the sky; from there, it rapidly rises higher and higher, flitting from left to right as it whizzes about to the whims of the wind.
  1720. >Since the both of you are controlling the same kite, keeping it steady while it ascends is proving to be a tricky trial.
  1721. >"Okay…okay…oh!"
  1722. >But with a little of help from Starlight's magic, she keeps the kite steady, giving it gentle nudges when necessary to prevent it from making a U-turn directly into the ground.
  1723. >"Hold on…!"
  1724. >At the same time, she also manages to keep her kite strap in line with yours, further maintaining the kite's stability.
  1725. >She truly is a master at her craft. It's a challenge in of itself to stop staring at her in her element; you need to do your part to keep the kite steady.
  1726. >But soon enough, the kite rises to an area of lower wind power, allowing it to stabilise into a mostly-neutral position.
  1727. >"There! Haha! We did it!" she cheers.
  1728. >She turns to you, triumphantly beaming.
  1729. >"Anon! We did it!"
  1730. >You chuckle and give her a few gentle pats on her withers with your free hand.
  1731. "That we did. Nice work, Glimmy."
  1732.  
  1733. >Now that the kite is fully functional and flying, you can truly appreciate its majestic form in full.
  1734. >Fitting the romantic theme of today, the kite is coloured bright pink, and it's shaped like a giant heart—the symbol, not the biological organ, of course.
  1735. >A sense of pride washes over you as you watch the kite soar in the sky; you and Starlight spent many hours putting this baby together, so you get a victorious feeling finally watching it take flight.
  1736. >There's also a message etched across the kite body; it's large enough that you can make it out even as the kite floats high above you.
  1737. >It reads:
  1738. >'Nonny <3 Glimmy Five-ever'
  1739. >A delightfully whimsical statement, to be sure, but it's certainly not one you find yourself disagreeing with any time soon.
  1740. >Well, there is one thing; if you had your way—you'd make it a "six-ever," maybe more.
  1741. >But it was Maud Pie that convinced the two of you to upgrade the forever into a "five-ever" during the kite's conceptual stage. When you had asked her if you could make the number even higher—she warned you that such careless arithmetic would have dire consequences on both your kite and your relationship.
  1742. >She spoke with such monotone mundanity that you wasn't sure if she was joking or not.
  1743. >Either way—you'll begrudgingly accept a "five-ever," for now.
  1744. >"Right! Now, let's try to steer it together, Anon! Are you ready?"
  1745. >Ah, right—the steering.
  1746. >The kite you're flying is a dual-line one; as the name suggests—there are two separate kite lines that lead up to the kite's body.
  1747. >This design gives you a greater deal of control over the kite compared to the standard single-line kite, but it also introduces additional complexities in terms of setting it up, controlling it, landing it and so on.
  1748. >These are all complexities that you're willing to challenge in the name of Glimmy, of course.
  1749. >But there's just one more wrinkle in the fabric of your flight plan.
  1750. >Kites are generally meant to be handled by one person—or pony—at a time.
  1751. >So given that you and Starlight are holding a kite line each, manoeuvring this monument to your shared love is likely to prove a monumental task.
  1752. >Still—jolly cooperation and all that.
  1753. >So you nod at Starlight.
  1754. "Yep, ready whenever you are."
  1755. >"Okay—you start us off!"
  1756. >You comply, giving the line a brief pull; as it's the left line, the kite makes a dive to the left.
  1757. >"Mhmm…"
  1758. >Then you reverse your motion, pushing it forwards into a more neutral position, and Starlight gives her own line a brief tug, causing the kite to dive to the right and make a looping turn.
  1759. >She lets out an excited snort at the successful manoeuvre.
  1760. >"That's it… Nice work!"
  1761.  
  1762. >Left and right, left and right—the two of you continue to fly your kite, just like that.
  1763. >Naturally, there are a few close calls here and there, but Starlight's magical prowess makes a wonderful safety net, allowing her to gently nudge the kite in the right direction, restabilising it when needed.
  1764. >As time goes on, the two of you find yourselves growing more and more in sync with each other's movements, to the point where you're even flawlessly coordinating figure-eight loops with the kite.
  1765. >Starlight watches the kite dance in the sky with a gleeful expression.
  1766. >"Hehe! We're doing it, Anon!"
  1767. >You chuckle as you break into a soft smile of your own.
  1768. "Yeah…we are."
  1769. >Her heavenly giggling is interspersed with some excited snorting as she watches the kite bob to-and-fro.
  1770. >You two have built up enough of a rhythm that you are confident enough to take your eyes off of the kite to glance at Starlight for a second.
  1771. >As you do, you see that Starlight is having the time of her life right now.
  1772. >Her eyes sparkle with a pure childlike glee as she is enraptured by the skyward spectacle.
  1773. >Her lilac fur glistens in the sunlight, almost giving her a gentle radiance.
  1774. >Her mane and tail both flow in the breeze like a ethereal curtain.
  1775. >If you didn't know any better, you'd swear you were standing next to a princess—a Princess of Kites.
  1776. >"Oh—watch out! The kite's swerving too far to the right!"
  1777. "Whoa—oops!"
  1778. >You quickly course correct, looping the kite back to the left.
  1779. >Rubbing the back of your neck with your free hand, you apologise.
  1780. "Sorry about that; got a little distracted."
  1781. >She gives you a warm smile.
  1782. >"Hehe, that's okay. Come on! Let's keep going!"
  1783. "Right there with you, Glimmy."
  1784. >And so the two of you spend the rest of the afternoon flying your kite together.
  1785. >Sure, flying a kite this way is far from simple.
  1786. >But every time you glance over at Starlight and catch a glimpse of that adorable, earnest smile of hers…
  1787. >It reminds you that it's all worth it.
  1788.  
  1789. ***
  1790.  
  1791. - 27 - Glimmergeddon [MEME] - (27/02/24)
  1792. ["Anon… Your ex is here again."]
  1793. ["Is glimmer the ex or is glimmer telling me my ex is here?"]
  1794. >A pony is banging on your door in quite the furious fashion.
  1795. >You'd answer it yourself, but you have a wife to handle such trivialities for you, leaving you to enjoy your periodical in peace.
  1796. >Ah, the modern benefits of wife-having.
  1797. >You hear some chatter and natter over by your door, but it's nothing that your wife can't manage, you trust.
  1798. >After a brief respite of silence, you hear your wife trot over to you.
  1799. >"Anon…your ex is here again."
  1800. >You turn to look at your wife: Starlight Glimmer, who has a tired expression on her face.
  1801. >And you sigh.
  1802. "Again? Alright, I'll handle it."
  1803. >"Thanks." She gives you a relieved smile.
  1804. >Putting down your periodical, you head over to the front door yourself.
  1805. "Okay, is this about the toaster? Because I swear I don't have…"
  1806. >You look through the doorway and stare down at your ex: Starlight Glimmer.
  1807. "…Wait, huh?"
  1808. >"Oh, look who *finally* decided to show up! Tired of hiding behind the mare you left me for, huh?"
  1809. "The mare I—"
  1810. >You look back to your wife: Starlight Glimmer.
  1811. >And then back at your ex: Starlight Glimmer.
  1812. "But that's…that's you."
  1813. >Your wife raises a concerned eyebrow and trots over to you.
  1814. >"Is something wrong, Anon?"
  1815. >Your ex scowls as her eyes fall onto your wife.
  1816. >"Yeah, *you're* wrong!"
  1817. >"*Excuse* me?"
  1818. >"Hah! You heard me! What have you got that I don't, huh?"
  1819. >"Gee, I dunno, how about being a decent pony who respects her human?"
  1820. >"Oh, that's rich, coming from you!"
  1821. >The two continue to bicker at each other.
  1822. >You slowly step away from the scene.
  1823. >There's definitely some kinda bullshit going on here.
  1824. >Smells like buggy bullshit.
  1825. >And you have just the solution for that.
  1826. >Stealthily moving away from the mares who are both identical and irate, you head up the stairs and into your bedroom.
  1827. >You search through the drawers.
  1828. "Come on, come on…where is it…"
  1829. >"What's up, Anon? You look like you're in a hurry," the mare on your bed asks you.
  1830. "Yeah, I'm just looking for—wait, who are you?"
  1831. >You turn your head to identify the uncomfortably-familiar mare on your bed.
  1832. >Your mistress: Starlight Glimmer, looks at you like you had just pissed on her favourite kite.
  1833. >"I can't believe you!"
  1834. >Snorting in disgust, she hops off of your bed and storms out of the bedroom.
  1835. "Huh, weird."
  1836. >After searching through all of the drawers in your room, you deduce that the answer to your problems isn't in here, so you leave.
  1837. >You head to the bathroom and rifle through the cabinets.
  1838. "Shit, shit! Where is it…?"
  1839. >"Is this what you're looking for, Anon?"
  1840. >Out of the side of your vision, you see a can of Raid being held in a turquoise glow.
  1841. "Oh sweet—thanks." You eagerly snap it out of the air.
  1842. >"Any time!"
  1843. >Your best friend: Starlight Glimmer, beams at you.
  1844. >Unable to think of a witty remark, you simply force a smile back at her and leave the bathroom, closing the door behind you.
  1845.  
  1846. >You head back down the stairs; your wife and ex are still arguing among themselves, but now they're joined by your mistress.
  1847. >It's a three-way temper tantrum, with you as the topic of choice.
  1848. >"You better tell me right now—how long has this been going on between you and him?!"
  1849. >"Long enough for me to know that you haven't been giving him the affection he deserves."
  1850. >"You sicken me! Don't you feel any shame at all!?"
  1851. >"He gets me, and I get him; that's all there is to it."
  1852. >"Don't try and make this sound in any way romantic—you homewrecker!"
  1853. >"Oh, that's rich, coming from the mare who stole *my* man first!"
  1854. "Shit…"
  1855. >Your best friend comes up to your side and playfully jabs you with a hoof.
  1856. >"Good thing they don't know about us, huh?"
  1857. "W-what?"
  1858. >The three mares turn to you, noticing your presence.
  1859. >And when they notice the mare next to you, they all stomp towards you.
  1860. >"And who is THIS, Anon?"
  1861. "S-she's my friend, I think?"
  1862. >"*Best* friend, wink!" your friend accentuates her phrase with an exaggerated wink.
  1863. >A couple of the Starlights slowly circle around you, trapping you right in the centre of the world's most dangerous enclosure.
  1864. >"'Friend,' huh? You two look a little *too* friendly to me, and given your track record…"
  1865. >"Yeah, Anon, why don't you tell us how you and your 'best friend' met. I know I'd *love* to hear it."
  1866. "I-I…uh…"
  1867. >Surrounded by Glimmers on all sides, you press down on the can's nozzle and perform the sickest spin ever, spraying pesticide in a full three sixty and tagging all of your assailants.
  1868. >They all recoil.
  1869. >They all cough.
  1870. >But none of them revert into bug ponies.
  1871. >And they all recover, glaring at you.
  1872. >"What was that for, Anon?!"
  1873. >"That was *so* uncalled for!"
  1874. >"Oh, so that's why you wanted the spray can."
  1875. "Uh…um…"
  1876. >Either your bug spray isn't working properly…
  1877. >Or these aren't changelings.
  1878. >Either way, this isn't boding well for you.
  1879. >When faced with a horde of angry women—mares or otherwise—you let your survival instinct take the reins.
  1880. >…
  1881. >You leap out of the nearby window.
  1882. >Desperate times call for desperate measures.
  1883. >"Anon, wait! Come back!"
  1884. >"What, so you can have him all to yourself? I don't think so!"
  1885. >In that moment, you're glad that they'd rather squabble among themselves instead of focus on you.
  1886. >You rush through Ponyville, not paying too much attention to your surroundings.
  1887. >Your destination—The Castle of Friendship.
  1888.  
  1889. >Soon enough, you reach the castle; you speed through the front door.
  1890. >Through the main hallway.
  1891. >Through the ancillary hallways.
  1892. >Through the auxiliary hallways.
  1893. >All the way up to the doors leading up to the throne room.
  1894. "TWI—"
  1895. >You open the doors to the throne room and rush through.
  1896. "—LIGHT!" you yell into the room.
  1897. >"Hm? Anon? What is it?"
  1898. "You have to help me! You have to…"
  1899. >There's a lump forming in your throat; a sickening, baleful lump that prevents you from speaking any further.
  1900. >Because sitting on the main throne is the Princess of Friendship: Starlight Glimmer.
  1901. >"Anon, are you okay? You don't look so good."
  1902. "No…no it can't be… Not you…"
  1903. >You collapse to the floor, defeated.
  1904. >Just what the hell is going on here?
  1905. >You're seeing colours—and they're all the same shade of purple.
  1906. >"Not me what?" She arches an eyebrow.
  1907. >Said arched eyebrow soon morphs into a look of candid concern as she hops off of her chair.
  1908. >"Oh, Anon, you're hyperventilating! Slow down—take a deep breath. Um, hold on…"
  1909. >She claps her two forehooves together.
  1910. >The assistant to the Princess: Starlight Glimmer, teleports in; she curtly bows to the Princess.
  1911. >"What do you need, Starlight?"
  1912. >"Starlight, could you take a letter? I'm worried about Anon."
  1913. >"You got it, Starlight." She levitates up a scroll and quill.
  1914. >The Princess walks up to you; you quickly rise to your feet.
  1915. >"In the meantime: Anon, why don't you stay—"
  1916. >You point your pesticide at her.
  1917. "No! Stay the *fuck* away from me! Don't touch me!"
  1918. >"Anon, I don't know what's gotten into you, but I'm here to—"
  1919. >You rush out of the throne room and slam the door behind you before she can get another word in.
  1920. >Creating some much-needed distance between you and that accursed castle, you head back into Ponyville.
  1921. >And it's there that your worst fears are realised.
  1922. >Nothing but lilac ponies wander the streets of Ponyville; you dare not give any of them a second glance, for you already know their identity.
  1923. >You don't know what to think.
  1924. >How did she do this?
  1925. >Are you losing your mind?
  1926. >Is this all a bad dream?
  1927. >"Halt!"
  1928. >And why is your body refusing to follow your commands?
  1929. >Is it because it's suspended in a turquoise light?
  1930. >It is.
  1931.  
  1932. >"Ah, Anon; I've been looking everywhere for you!"
  1933. >A mare circles around to your front from behind with her horn aglow; she's your parole officer: Starlight Glimmer.
  1934. >Wait, what the fuck? When did you get a parole officer?
  1935. >"Now now, where were you heading off to in such a hurry, Anon?"
  1936. "I-I need to—"
  1937. >"Ah-ah. I can't hear you from all the way up there; how about I help you with that, hm?"
  1938. >Using her magic, she brings you to your knees, meeting her at eye level.
  1939. >"Oh, much better~"
  1940. >She flicks through her bangs with a hoof and smirks at you.
  1941. >"So, I've been hearing reports of a domestic spat within your household—is that right?"
  1942. "You don't understand, I need to leave—ah!"
  1943. >She exerts magical pressure on one of your ears, pinching the air out of you.
  1944. >"And not only that—you were *also* planning on abandoning your dear spouse? My, how utterly despicable; my respect for you is dropping by the second."
  1945. >Holding you by your ear, she pulls your head farther down so that she looks down upon you.
  1946. >"You know we have a speed limit here, right? And you were clearly going over it. Tut tut."
  1947. "Shit—this is an emergency! Let me go!"
  1948. >"Oh, is that so?"
  1949. >She lightly smacks her lips together and hums in thought, before readdressing you.
  1950. >"Come with me; we can talk more about your 'emergency' over at the station."
  1951. >Inching ever closer to you, she caresses your cheek and licks her lips.
  1952. >"I'm sure we can work something out~"
  1953. "Nononono FUCK OFF!"
  1954. >"Hm—now there's an idea~"
  1955. >If you don't break out of this full-body bind soon enough, you shudder to think what she's going to do to you.
  1956. >But how—how do you get out this one? She's a magically adept unicorn who's everyone and everywhere at once!
  1957. >All you've got over her are your hands, one of which is still clutching…something…
  1958. >…Wait, that's right! The bug spray! You still have it!
  1959. >Fighting against the spell of stasis she's put you under, you focus all of your physical efforts on your hand, angling it just right, and…
  1960. "GLIMMER BEGONE!" You spray your can of anti-bug juice right in her face.
  1961. >"Urk!" She recoils, releasing the spell.
  1962. >As you expected, she didn't turn into some chitinous abomination; she's still purple—and now she's pissed off.
  1963. >You sprint away, heading down a street at random.
  1964. >Your parole officer swiftly gives chase, firing off spells in an attempt to bring you down.
  1965. >But thanks to your direct hit on her eyes, none of her spells are able to land; not only that, but her galloping gait is slurred and wobbly, preventing her from beelining straight for you.
  1966. >Still, you run like your life depends on it, because it very well could be.
  1967. >This isn't a matter of running from clearly-corrupt law enforcement; something much more sinister is going on here.
  1968.  
  1969. >After a terrifying jog through the streets of Ponyville, you think you've finally lost your pursuer.
  1970. >Standing in an area devoid of any visible bystanders, you stop to catch your breath…
  1971. >And then a golden force yanks you into a nearby alleyway.
  1972. "AH!" you yelp.
  1973. >You're pushed up to a nearby wall, and you get a good look at your captor.
  1974. >She's a minty green unicorn.
  1975. "LY—"
  1976. >A golden aura snaps your mouth shut.
  1977. >"Shhh." She raises a hoof up to her mouth to accentuate her point.
  1978. >You nod, and she releases her spell.
  1979. >After catching the rest of your breath, you quietly address her.
  1980. "Do you know what the hell is going on here?"
  1981. >"I only know what must be done."
  1982. >She walks through the alleyway, giving you a brief glance over the withers.
  1983. >"Follow me."
  1984. >Through a series of alleyways, secret underground passageways, and secret overground passageways—she leads you to her home.
  1985. >You enter through the backdoor.
  1986. >As you follow her through the house, you catch a glimpse of the kitchen.
  1987. >The S.M.I.L.E. agent: Starlight Glimmer, lies unconscious on the kitchen floor.
  1988. "Damn…"
  1989. >"Down here, into the basement."
  1990. >Your guide unlocks a latch leading down to the basement and heads down the stairs.
  1991. >You follow her down; it goes far deeper than you were expecting, and there's a good reason for that.
  1992. >Turns out her "basement" is actually an incredibly spacious underground bunker.
  1993. >A spaceship resides in the middle; it's shaped like a cartoonish rocket ship.
  1994. >You walk up to it, gazing in awe at its simplicity and, knowing these ponies, likely perfect functionality.
  1995. "So…we're really gonna be using this thing?"
  1996. >"That's right; this world is finished. Our only remaining option now is to escape to the stars."
  1997. "Shit… Is the situation down here really that bad?"
  1998. >"You saw what it was like out there. There's nopony else out there, just…her."
  1999. >She walks over to a control panel sticking out of the floor and flips a switch.
  2000. >A compartment near the bottom of the ship opens up, revealing a set of stairs that lead into the interior.
  2001. >"You should head inside."
  2002. "Alright. I'll see you in there, yeah?"
  2003. >She doesn't respond, so you opt to just follow her instruction; you climb up the stairs and into the cockpit—the compartment closes in after you enter.
  2004. >With a bit of effort and additional climbing, you're able to situate yourself onto one of the vertically-aligned seats and buckle up.
  2005. >Through the nearby window, you can still see her over by the far side of the basement, operating that control panel.
  2006. >You hear her voice over the intercom.
  2007. >"Are you good to go?"
  2008. "Yeah, what about you?"
  2009. >"We're ready to launch."
  2010. "No, I meant are you ready to—"
  2011. >You hear the start of a minute-long countdown as the spaceship's engines roar to life.
  2012. >Loud klaxons resound throughout the room as the roof of the bunker mechanically opens up, and you catch a glimpse of the bright blue sky up above.
  2013.  
  2014. >At the fifty second mark, you see that she hasn't moved from her position, which makes you a bit nervous; you speak into the comms again.
  2015. "Aren't you getting in? There's not much time left."
  2016. >Once again, she doesn't respond.
  2017. >Forty seconds left.
  2018. "Hey, can you hear me?"
  2019. >"I hear you."
  2020. "Then what are you waiting for? Hurry up and get your minty ass over here so we can escape!"
  2021. >Thirty seconds left.
  2022. >You hear her sigh into the comms.
  2023. >"Sorry Anon, but it's already too late for me. You're our last hope."
  2024. "Too late? What the hell are you talking about?"
  2025. >"She…she's already…"
  2026. >The voice cuts out as the comms go dead.
  2027. "She's already what? Hey! Answer me!"
  2028. >Twenty seconds left.
  2029. >The smoke produced by the spaceship makes it increasingly difficult to see out of the window.
  2030. >But you catch a glimpse of something moving closer to your spaceship—it's her silhouette.
  2031. >Ten seconds left.
  2032. "Hey! Took you long enough! Come on! Come—"
  2033. >She draws close enough that you can see her form in full.
  2034. >The local human fanatic: Starlight Glimmer, curiously peeks at you through the window.
  2035. "Oh God…"
  2036. >A chill runs down your spine as you see her horn light up, but your spaceship lifts off before she can do anything else.
  2037. >Your vessel soars through the sky, heading into orbit.
  2038. >Through the window—you can see some turquoise wisps in hot pursuit; thankfully, your spaceship's thrusters are able to outpace them.
  2039. >Your ship shudders and rumbles as it struggles against the air resistance—and magical resistance too, you'd wager.
  2040. >But soon enough, your vessel leaves the atmosphere, and you're home free.
  2041. >As you drift through outer space, you take a moment of silence to honour all of the ponies that you have lost today.
  2042. "I'll never forget you, Starlight Glimmer."
  2043. >As those words leave your mouth, you slump against your seat and sigh.
  2044. >Eventually, your ship rotates enough that you can get one last look at the planet that you're leaving behind.
  2045. >You *can,* but there's a terrified voice in your head screaming at you to not look back.
  2046. >And yet, there's also a second voice—one of morbid curiosity—tugging at your psyche.
  2047. >It whispers in your ear to gaze outwards, and against all remaining rationality in your head—you find yourself convinced.
  2048. >So, you hesitantly draw your eyes over to the window once more, and see…
  2049. >"Hi Anon!"
  2050. "Fuck…"
  2051. >Looking out of the window, you gaze upon the planet: Starlight Glimmer.
  2052. >And know that all hope is lost.
  2053.  
  2054. ***
  2055.  
  2056. - 28 - A Matter of Teleportation [COMFY] - (29/02/24)
  2057. >Starlight Glimmer teleports into the room with a *pop!*
  2058. >Or is it more of a *phwee!*?
  2059. >Perhaps a *schwing!*?
  2060. >Well, onomatopoeia aside, the aesthetic spectacle of a unicorn's teleportation is always something to behold.
  2061. >There's that ephemeral explosion which preludes their entrance with awe and aplomb.
  2062. >And the magical flash of colour which pigments it—Starlight's signature turquoise, in this case.
  2063. >And of course—there's the appearance of the purple pony herself, looking none the worse for wear despite having just tossed her entire being through the magical continuum.
  2064. >Not only that, but given her magical prowess—you know that she could effortlessly and consecutively teleport herself several times more if need be.
  2065. >You let out a sigh of barely-concealed envy; it must be real convenient—being able to traverse long distances in less than a second just by thinking of it.
  2066. >It must be nice…
  2067. >It must be…
  2068. >Hm…
  2069. "Hey, Starlight," you call out to her.
  2070. >"Oh? What is it, Anon?" She walks up to you.
  2071. "How does it feel? Your teleporting thing, I mean."
  2072. >"My 'teleporting thing?'" She raises a hoof up to her chin to ponder your question.
  2073. >After a brief moment of pondering, her horn lights up and she quickly blinks out of existence, performing what you assume to be a spell of stationary teleportation.
  2074. >When she returns, she purses her lips in thought.
  2075. >"Hm…"
  2076. "Anything?"
  2077. >She sighs and shakes her head.
  2078. >"It's…hard to put the sensation into exact words; not only that, but when I teleport—my mind is more focused on *where* I'm going rather than *how* it feels."
  2079. "Ah…"
  2080. >Your shoulders slump a little, which she takes note of.
  2081. >"Oh, but if you're curious—why don't you give it a try? I'll teleport you!"
  2082. "Hey, that'd be great! But is that really no problem for you?"
  2083. >She nods enthusiastically.
  2084. >"No problem at all—unicorns teleport other ponies all the time!"
  2085. >Her words linger in the air for a couple of seconds; she then nervously ruffles a hoof through her chest fur and continues.
  2086. >"W-with their consent, of course!"
  2087. "Heh, I'm not a pony, though. Plus, I haven't teleported before."
  2088. >Her eyes widen slightly.
  2089. >"You haven't?"
  2090. "Yep, no-one else has offered; why, is that weird?"
  2091. >"Well it's—no! Not at all! But…it might be best for us to establish physical contact, first—just to be on the safe side!"
  2092. "Oh, you want a hug?"
  2093. >"J-just a hand on my back will suffice."
  2094. >You move closer to her and rest a hand upon her withers.
  2095. "This good?"
  2096. >She hums.
  2097. >"Maybe two."
  2098. >You rest your other hand upon her withers.
  2099. "You better not ask for three."
  2100. >She giggles.
  2101. >"Okay, hold on tight—um, but not too tight!"
  2102. >Her horn lights up.
  2103. "…Just so we're clear here—this *is* safe, right?"
  2104. >"Yep! It'll be fine! Probably."
  2105. "What do you mean prob—"
  2106. >You enter the warp.
  2107.  
  2108. >In an instant, every aspect of your being is furiously ripped apart—and then gently pieced back together.
  2109. >Pigments of green and blue assault your retinas and pervade your thoughts.
  2110. >You smell every hair in your body being set ablaze within the flames of uncertainty.
  2111. >A sharp, splitting pain strikes your forehead and festers all the way throughout the rest of your body.
  2112. >"Anon."
  2113. >You're trapped in a claustrophobic cage comprised of caustic comforts as you spin across the sea of stars and swirls.
  2114. >And the ringing—oh God, the ringing!
  2115. >"Anon!"
  2116. >You taste burning.
  2117. >And you also taste floor—delicious floor.
  2118. >Wait, floor isn't delicious.
  2119. >"Anon, are you okay?!"
  2120. >You spin around one more time and enter the pale light.
  2121. >Coming to, you realise that you're lying face-up on the floor.
  2122. "Ugh…"
  2123. >Starlight gazes down at you with a worried expression.
  2124. "Oh…did we make it? What happened?"
  2125. >"We did. And you were, um, convulsing on the floor for a few moments there."
  2126. "Mm…"
  2127. >You raise a hand up into the air and gaze at your palm in thought.
  2128. "I think I'm…thoroughly convulsed out for now. I think we're good."
  2129. >"I'm really sorry, Anon. I should have been more careful, I…"
  2130. >You rest your raised hand upon her mane and pet through it.
  2131. "It's not your fault at all, Glimmy. I'm the one who put you up to this; thanks for humouring me."
  2132. >Her guilty frown slowly morphs into a relieved smile in response to your actions and words.
  2133. "But…wow…"
  2134. >You sit up, wiping both an excessive amount of sweat from your brow and drool from your mouth.
  2135. "That must have been some distance we travelled; what a ride—eh, Glimmy?"
  2136. >She gives you a hesitant half-smile.
  2137. >"Anon…we only teleported forward a few feet."
  2138. >You look around to confirm her claims, seeing that you have indeed only been displaced a small distance from the site where the two of you began your magical odyssey.
  2139. "O-oh… I knew that."
  2140. >You didn't know that.
  2141.  
  2142. >Shakily, you make your way back up to your feet; you almost fall back onto your butt a few times, but Starlight helps keep you steady with her magic.
  2143. "P-phew, thanks."
  2144. >You take a deep breath.
  2145. "By the way, that's some way to travel. Do you unicorns really do this all the time? How in Equestria do you manage to keep your insides in?"
  2146. >"Eheh, it's not that bad once you acclimate to the magic. Although, most ponies only have to deal with a light headache or brief dizziness during their first few teleports, not, um, convulsion."
  2147. >You chuckle.
  2148. "Well, where I'm from, there's no magic at all; I'm guessing that's why it hit me so hard."
  2149. >"That makes sense…but—hey! Now that you've gone through your first teleportation, I'm sure your next teleports will be far more pleasant!"
  2150. "Probably." You stretch, trying to shed off any lingering light-headedness. "I mean, I made it this far, right?"
  2151. >She nods her head and gives you a reassuring grin.
  2152. >"But I have to say—I'm still a little surprised! You really haven't teleported before?"
  2153. "Outside of whatever brought me to Equestria—if you can even call that teleportation—no; no-one else has offered to blink me."
  2154. >"I see. Well, welcome to the wonderful world of teleportation! I hope I didn't give you too much of a scare back there."
  2155. "Hey, out of all the ponies here—I'm glad it was you who took my teleport-ginity, Glimmy."
  2156. >Her ears prick up and a shade of red crosses her cheeks..
  2157. >"W-well I—uh, that…"
  2158. >She sputters a bit, scuffing her hoof across the floor; was it something you said?
  2159. >Either way, her reaction is cute.
  2160. >"Um, anyway! I've been meaning to ask you—do you want to head over to the Hay Burger and grab a bite to eat? They're running a special on ice cream!"
  2161. "Cheap ice cream? Now you're speaking my language—I'm in."
  2162. >The promise of frozen foodstuffs lights a fire in your stomach—the same stomach which is still recovering from the jitters of post-teleportation.
  2163. "Urk…"
  2164. >You clutch your belly in pain while you amend your statement.
  2165. "But I…I think I'll be walking there, if that's all the same with you."
  2166. >She walks up to your side and gives you a grin that betrays the slightest shade of guilt.
  2167. >"Yeah…I think I'll walk there, too."
  2168. >And so the two of you head off towards your favourite fast food joint to stuff your faces.
  2169. >It feels like your brain is playing skip rope while your stomach is doing jumping jacks, but you persevere—pressing onwards in adamant anticipation.
  2170. >Because as everyone—and everypony—knows: the greatest cure to any and all ailments that you may experience in the waking world is to stuff your face with junk food.
  2171. >Yes, absolutely.
  2172.  
  2173. ***
  2174.  
  2175. - 29 - Seasonal Quiddities [BORDERLINE] - (04/03/24)
  2176. >You wander through one of the many hallways within the Friendship Castle.
  2177. >The halls are wide and empty, and outside of the sounds of your footsteps on the obsidian floor—all you have are your own thoughts to keep you company.
  2178. >You came in here to do a bit of light reading within the library for a few hours, and now you're on your way out.
  2179. >The reading session was pleasant.
  2180. >It was also very quiet—unnervingly so.
  2181. >Usually, you'd catch a glimpse of one of the castle's inhabitants whenever you took a trip here.
  2182. >But today? Nothing—nopony, even.
  2183. >They must all be hunkered within their rooms or something.
  2184. >It's strange seeing the castle so empty like this.
  2185. >Come to think of it—this entire day has felt "off" in a way you can't quite describe.
  2186. >For starters, there were far fewer ponies wandering the streets of Ponyville than usual, and several of the usual shops were closed—even Sugarcube Corner!
  2187. >And as for the few ponies that were in town: they were giving you strange looks—looks that made you feel like you didn't belong.
  2188. >Some of the more daring among them even went up to you and…sniffed you!
  2189. >You were so shocked, you never got the chance to ask them what their problem was—as they would quickly scurry away soon after.
  2190. >What was the big deal? You showered this morning, so you shouldn't smell bad.
  2191. >Maybe it's National Unfriendly Day and you didn't get the memo?
  2192. >Hmph, maybe you'll take a page out of their book and stay cooped up in your room for the rest of the day.
  2193. >Yeah, that'll surely show those standoffish, sniff-happy ponies the consequences of their actions.
  2194. >…Well, at any rate—you still need to find your way out of the castle before you can carry out any righteous acts of passive aggression.
  2195.  
  2196. >You pass through a familiar hallway; if memory serves—this one should lead you close to the castle's entrance.
  2197. >Tall, ornate doors line each side of the hall; you wouldn't be surprised if one of them lead to the secret book dimension, but you're not here for that.
  2198. >As you continue through the passage, you hear the quiet, cautious creaking of one of the doors slowly opening behind you, which is then followed by a gasp.
  2199. >"Anon!"
  2200. >You turn around and look down the section of the hallway that you had just travelled through, and you see the head of a familiar lilac unicorn peeking out at you from behind one of the doorways.
  2201. >How familiar? Well, that unicorn is none other than Starlight Glimmer—one of the elusive inhabitants of this castle that you was beginning to think was abandoned.
  2202. >And…ah, that's right—this is the wing of the castle that contains her bedroom.
  2203. "Oh, Starlight!" you wave to her as you approach the doorway leading to her room.
  2204. >Once you stand in front of her, Starlight opens her bedroom door the rest of the way, looking up at you with an earnest smile.
  2205. "Long time no see! Have you been cooped up in that room all day?"
  2206. >A faint shade of red falls upon her cheeks as she glances to the side.
  2207. >"Eheh, something like that…"
  2208. "You and nearly every other pony here, it seems. Is there a plague running around that I wasn't warned about?"
  2209. >Her eyes flit back to you and she tilts her head.
  2210. >"Wait, you don't know?"
  2211. >You cup your chin and squint your eyes as you try to decipher her cryptic remark.
  2212. >Upon seeing your thoughtful silence, Starlight speaks up before you can ask her to elaborate.
  2213. >"Oh! I get it now! It's because you're human, right."
  2214. "This mystery plague doesn't effect humans, then?"
  2215. >"That's one way to put it."
  2216. >She chuckles.
  2217. >"Anon, it's estrus season."
  2218. >She states it so casually that it takes a few seconds for the words to sink in.
  2219. >But when it does…
  2220. "Oh."
  2221. >Well, it's all starting to make sense now—both the strange looks that you were receiving in town, and the scarcity of ponies throughout.
  2222. >After all, estrus is that time of the year where the mares get all…well, "marely."
  2223. >Spurred on by a spike in horny hormones, mares all around Equestria are besot with an instinctual, primal desire to "grow their oats," so to speak.
  2224. >Thankfully, ponies are a civilised race; they have the mental and emotional capabilities to keep themselves from collapsing into a nation-wide orgy.
  2225. >But that pang of growing frustration is ever-present throughout the entire ordeal.
  2226. >As for how all of the mares get in season at the same time—you're no expert, but you read in a book that whatever triggers Estrus has something to do with the intensity of the Sun's rays.
  2227. >And since Princess Celestia is in charge of the Sun—that must mean she's also the one in charge of Estrus.
  2228. >That's a freaky thought: monarch-mandated breeding seasons.
  2229. >Abe would be proud.
  2230.  
  2231. >To equate the feeling of estrus in human terms—you imagine that it's kind of like being piss drunk at the bar and feeling like you're surrounded by natural tens.
  2232. >Many mares opt to stay indoors and keep to themselves for the duration of estrus to minimise the risk of any impulsive, heated hustles.
  2233. >But there are those among them who are discontent to stew in their own sizzling solitude and attempt to go about their daily lives as usual—just with the added hormonal handicap.
  2234. >And out of those intrepid, courageous, foolish mares, there will inevitably be those among them who succumb to their base desires and let the pink mist take over.
  2235. >It's not as dark as it initially sounds; the "victims" of such tend to be stallions that the mares were interested in already.
  2236. >Much like the mares, many stallions opt to stay indoors to avoid any undue attention.
  2237. >In other words—the ones who stay out despite the repeated warnings are basically asking for it, anyway.
  2238. >You haven't heard any stallions complain, at any rate.
  2239. >At worst, the mare and stallion in question would probably have to write a letter to Princess Celestia detailing how important it is to be honest with your feelings or something.
  2240. >Rather, the real problem comes from the aggressive, standoffish behaviour that mares exhibit towards each other during this.
  2241. >Tensions are blisteringly high and some very heated words can be thrown around during these times, and that's not even mentioning the brawls that frequently break out…
  2242. >In short, mares can get pretty damn terrifying during estrus—it's a morsel of knowledge that you've personally come to learn from experience during your time in Equestria.
  2243. >On the flip side: married couples in particular are known to have a *lot* of fun during this period, but that's not something you want to dwell on too much.
  2244. >Because if you do, you're going to start wondering if *that* was the reason Sugarcube Corner was closed today.
  2245. >Mr. and Mrs. Cake—
  2246. >Okay, moving on.
  2247. >You look at Starlight, whose eyes are transfixed upon you.
  2248. >She's not staring at your face, though; her eyes are transfixed quite a bit lower…
  2249. "A-ahem."
  2250. >Her blue eyes shoot back up to meet yours.
  2251. >"Y-yes?"
  2252. "So, um, estrus season, right. How are you holding up, Glimmy?"
  2253. >"Ahah…"
  2254. >She gives you a forced grin that tells you all you need to know.
  2255. "Ah."
  2256.  
  2257. >"I was…I was actually thinking about heading over to your place, but…um, I was a little worried about what I might do if I made the first move."
  2258. >That's certainly an ominous turn of phrase; you're not sure you want to find out what she means by that.
  2259. "That, uh…sounds complicated."
  2260. >She nervously chuckles.
  2261. >"Yeah… But! Now that you're over here…"
  2262. >She gives you a hopeful smile.
  2263. >"I was hoping you could…" She twirls a hoof about in the air. "…you know?"
  2264. >Ah, that's other thing you recall about estrus:
  2265. >The fact that you made Starlight a promise to "help her through it" should she need it.
  2266. >It was an idea that came to you while you were hanging out with her on the cusp of one such estrus.
  2267. >Starlight was much more downcast than normal, lamenting the imminent frustration that she would've had to stew in for the coming days.
  2268. >When you saw how your best friend had resigned herself to spending however many days by her lonesome, and how her eyes lingered on you with that restrained sense of longing…
  2269. >The magic words sprang out from your mouth before you could even fully contemplate them.
  2270. >You didn't stop to consider the weight of your words; you only thought of easing her concerns at the time.
  2271. >After all she's been through, you wanted to make sure she had one less thing to worry about during her tutelage under Twilight.
  2272. >She took your proposal very seriously, and even had you promise—no—Pinkie Promise to uphold your word.
  2273. >You didn't think much of it at the time; after all—humans are technically in estrus all year round.
  2274. >They merely adopted the horny; you were born in it, moulded by it.
  2275. >You could handle something as simple as a seasonal booty call, no problem!
  2276. >…Oh, how naive you were.
  2277. >You would quickly learn that Starlight can be quite…*intense* during these times, but given the hormonal cocktail that runs through her mind during these periods, it's understandable.
  2278. >It's certainly not a decision you regret, at any rate; Starlight is a dear friend to you, and…
  2279. >Well, you're not about to go back on your word now.
  2280. >So you give her a nod and a smile; your answer is clear to her without the need of words.
  2281. >Her own smile widens and she eagerly beckons you inside her room.
  2282. >As you enter her bedroom, she quickly shuts the door behind you.
  2283. >She also casts a translucent-looking spell that spreads out and covers all of the surfaces within the room.
  2284. >From previous experiences, you know it to be a soundproofing spell.
  2285. >Only you and her shall be privy to what is about to happen here.
  2286.  
  2287. >…
  2288. >In Starlight's room, you lie in her bed.
  2289. >And a *very* satisfied Starlight Glimmer lies on top of you, clinging to you tightly.
  2290. >The bed covers on top of the bed warm you both, although not as much as the two of you warm each other.
  2291. >You know that mares get very cuddly after a round in the sack—especially after estrus.
  2292. >And by mares—you mean Starlight Glimmer.
  2293. >Her chest rises and falls with yours, her fur lightly brushing against your bare body with each relaxed breath she takes.
  2294. >Her forelegs hang over your shoulders, and her hindlegs lie splayed next to your legs.
  2295. >Your own arms are wrapped around her body, with one of your hands resting upon her withers; you occasionally pet around the area, relishing the pleasant coos of contentment that she makes in response.
  2296. >Her eyes are closed, and her snout is pressed directly against your neckline, calmly taking in your scent.
  2297. >Owing to the surprising amount of flexibility that ponies have, her tail is somehow coiled around one of your legs.
  2298. >It's wrapped around you tightly; not tight enough to be painfully so—but tight enough to make you aware of her presence.
  2299. >One thing for sure—it'll be a journey and a half to untangle this mare from your body.
  2300. >And you might have to untangle her sooner rather than later, as an errant thought enters your mind—one relating to a task that you had forgotten about up until this point.
  2301. "Starlight, I…I think I might need to move."
  2302. >A silence hangs in the air for a few seconds as she ruminates on your words.
  2303. >She opens her eyes and furrows her brows as she looks up at you.
  2304. >"Why?"
  2305. "There's a package I need to grab from the post office today; it's—"
  2306. >"No."
  2307. >Her rebuttal is terse, and you can feel her body tense up as her tail wraps around your leg just that bit tighter.
  2308. >"You don't want to go out there, Anon. There are plenty of mares out there who are still in heat."
  2309. "Aw, come on; so what if some mares are still horny? It can't be *that* bad. It'd just be a quick trip to and back."
  2310. >"It *is* that bad. Estrus, it…clouds our judgement—makes us more aggressive, territorial. You're safer in here."
  2311. >You know that she has a point, but your mind struggles to picture the friendly, wall-eyed mailmare at the post office turning into an ornery, hormonal rape machine.
  2312. >Perhaps man was never meant to imagine such horrors.
  2313. "Well…if you say so."
  2314. >"I know so, Anon. Trust me."
  2315.  
  2316. >She lays a slow, lingering kiss upon your collarbone—the latest of many that she has given you today.
  2317. >Her next words come in the form of a low, throaty whisper.
  2318. >"If any of them laid their hooves on you, I'd…"
  2319. >She aggressively snorts against your neckline; the sudden burst of hot air sends a shiver up your spine, making you gasp.
  2320. >Well, she's certainly right about one thing: estrus definitely makes at least one mare "aggressive and territorial."
  2321. "Alright, alright; I'm staying. Don't worry."
  2322. >You give her withers another reassuring massage, and she relaxes and coos.
  2323. >"Mm…stay here, Nonny. Let me protect you from all of those naughty mares…"
  2324. "'All' of the naughty mares? I'm not so sure about that."
  2325. >"Hm…?"
  2326. "Because from where I'm lying, there's a naughty mare on top of me right now."
  2327. >Her nose wrinkles.
  2328. >"Mm…no…this is different…"
  2329. "Is it, now? How so?"
  2330. >"This is…this is good naughty…"
  2331. "Oh? And what makes this brand of naughtiness more virtuous than the others?"
  2332. >"Because…"
  2333. >She raises her head, slowly trailing it up from your neckline, up your neck, and up to your face.
  2334. >Once she reaches your face, she lazily nuzzles against your nose, lightly humming as she does.
  2335. >After she pulls back, she whispers to you.
  2336. >"I know it's the kind that *you* like~"
  2337. >You chuckle.
  2338. "Alright, you got me there."
  2339. >Starlight rests her head against your upper chest once more, and the two of you lie in bed in a comfortable silence for a while longer, before a question springs to mind.
  2340. "So…what do we do while we ride this out, then? You wanna go another round?"
  2341. >"Mm…just being with you is enough. But…"
  2342. >She tilts her head up towards you and gives you a soft smile.
  2343. >"Could you read to me? I want to listen to your voice."
  2344. >You gently run a few fingers through her mane while you answer her.
  2345. "Sure thing. What are we reading?"
  2346. >She hums in thought, then magically pulls a book out from one of the bookshelves from the far wall.
  2347. >The book slowly floats over to you, carried in a turquoise light.
  2348. >"This one."
  2349. >Momentarily moving your arms away from Starlight, you take the book in your hands and read the title:
  2350. >'Applied Kite-ology.'
  2351. >Hah, leave it to ponies to invent a science solely about kites.
  2352. >And leave it to Starlight to buy a book about it.
  2353. >…And leave it to you to read it to her.
  2354. >A smile creeps up your face; it looks like it's shaping up to be one of *those* days.
  2355. >You know the ones.
  2356. >The "book reading in bed with the mare you helped out with her estrus while you try to ignore your overdue package at the post office" days.
  2357.  
  2358. ***
  2359.  
  2360. - 30 - Tuft Stuff [BORDERLINE] - (19/03/24)
  2361. "Yeah, I'll have the tomato and the…uh, tomato."
  2362. >"That'll be four bits."
  2363. >Standing in front of a fruit stall that sells tomatoes (and *only* tomatoes), you dig through your wallet and pull out the correct amount of coinage.
  2364. "Here." You place the bits on the counter.
  2365. >The stallkeeper mare examines your cash with a neutral expression and then nods.
  2366. >"Thank you for shopping at Tasty Tomato's Tasty Tomatoes; have a great day."
  2367. >And with that, you pick up your two tantalisingly tasty tomatoes.
  2368. >"Going shopping, Anon?" a voice rings out from next to you.
  2369. >But this isn't just any voice—it's one you recognise!
  2370. >You turn to face her—a smiling lilac unicorn.
  2371. "Yeah Starlight. Just stocking up for the da…ay."
  2372. >Your breath catches in your throat as Starlight Glimmer enters your vision.
  2373. >She's still the same lilac unicorn you remember, but there's something different about her.
  2374. >A *big* something.
  2375. >Right on her chest.
  2376. >There's a huge tuft of fur that protrudes proudly, prevalently, pre-eminently.
  2377. >It subtly sways in the calm Ponyville breeze, drawing your eyes to each marely movement it makes.
  2378. >God—it's almost as large as her head!
  2379. >Has she always had this?!
  2380. >"Something wrong?"
  2381. >Her body lightly shuffles as she talks, jostling that massive mound of mammalian fur with her.
  2382. >The way that tuft bounces up and down, it's utterly mesmerising—
  2383. "Ah!"
  2384. >You crush the tomatoes in your hand with your careless grip, spraying gunk and seed all over your shirt.
  2385. >The stallkeeper mare glances at you with a bored expression.
  2386. >"No refunds."
  2387. >Your squashed tomatoes are the last thing on your mind right now.
  2388. "T-that's, um…Starlight, w-what *is* that?"
  2389. >"What's what, Anon?" Starlight tilts her head.
  2390. "The…the…"
  2391. >Another breath catches in your throat; how do you bring this topic up—are you even allowed to?
  2392. >Is it socially acceptable to comment on a mare's massively protruding tuft of chest fur?
  2393. >Especially one that you seemingly haven't noticed until now?
  2394. >You sneak a glance at the stallkeep in the hope of gleaning some vote of confidence, but she's already gone back to examining her produce, looking disinterested as always.
  2395. "I-I…uh…"
  2396. >Finding no purchase in the stallkeep, your eyes are drawn back to Starlight.
  2397. >And her massive tuft.
  2398. >With the way it's jutting out like that—it's like it's pointing right at you.
  2399. >It's calling for you, awaiting you, expecting you.
  2400. >You can't take much more of this, you can't—
  2401. "I have to go!"
  2402. >You make a break for it.
  2403. >"Anon!"
  2404. >Starlight calls after you, but you're not hearing any of it.
  2405. >Luckily, she doesn't give chase, and you disappear into the crowds of Ponyville.
  2406.  
  2407. >You wander down a bustling lane in Ponyville, and you take a moment to catch your breath after that close call earlier.
  2408. >Just what *was* that patch of fur on Starlight's chest, and why was it so…overpowering?
  2409. >You look around Ponyville and gasp as a sudden realisation hits you.
  2410. >The mares around town—they *all* have tufts.
  2411. >Come to think of it—you think you remember that stallkeep mare having a bit of chest fluff on her, too.
  2412. >But how? Did they all grow them overnight?
  2413. >Or did some long-dormant, fluff-loving part of your brain suddenly decide to switch on this morning?
  2414. >If there's any consolation to all of this mound-bound madness: it's the fortuitous fact that the tufts these mares all have—they don't *titillate* you quite like Starlight's does.
  2415. >The modest muddles of fur atop these mares' chests all seem like meagre set dressing when compared to the majestic mountain that Starlight bears.
  2416. >And mountains are meant to be climbed, aren't they?
  2417. >If you saw it again you'd—
  2418. >"Oh, Anon, there you are!"
  2419. >You hesitantly turn around to see Starlight—and her prominent pride.
  2420. >It takes the full extent of your dwindling willpower to maintain eye contact with her.
  2421. "Star—Starlight, wh-what a surprise to meet you here, eheh."
  2422. >"You had me worried back there, and it's not too hard to track down the only human in Ponyville."
  2423. "Sorry about that, I, uh, just needed to catch my breath."
  2424. >"Uh huh… Well, here. I bought you some fresh tomatoes."
  2425. >Smiling, she levitates a shopping bag towards you.
  2426. >"You know, to replace the ones you…squeezed out."
  2427. "O-oh, thanks."
  2428.  
  2429. >You reach out your hand towards the bag, but it floats just out of your reach.
  2430. >"But first, you've got to tell me what it is that's bothering you."
  2431. "Um."
  2432. >As you focus on her face, you see that she looks concerned for you.
  2433. >But what truly concerns you is that glorious tuft she's sporting.
  2434. "I-it's your…your…"
  2435. >"My…?"
  2436. >She steps forward in anticipation, open mouth hanging on your every word.
  2437. >There's also an indecipherable glint in her eyes, one that causes you to break eye contact and look away—or rather, down.
  2438. >Where the peak of her pride continues to stand triumphant upon her chest.
  2439. >God, it's so…
  2440. >So thick.
  2441. >So bushy.
  2442. >So intoxicating.
  2443. >It's close enough that you can *smell* it; it smells just like her, but magnified tenfold.
  2444. >There's a powerful, floral scent compounded with a subtle, but extremely potent tinge of marely sweat as you catch her tuft glistening in the daylight.
  2445. >And the longer you stare, the closer it draws to you.
  2446. >No—wait, it's *you* who is drawing closer to *it.*
  2447. >This isn't right; You…you're about to do something improper—obscene! You have to fight it—
  2448. >"Anon, it's okay…"
  2449. >You hear a whispering voice echo in your ears; it cleanly sweeps your inhibitions out from under you.
  2450. >It sounds like Starlight's voice—but it might as well be the tuft itself speaking to you.
  2451. >You've already lowered yourself down to its level.
  2452. >You can almost taste it, now.
  2453. >"Don't fight it~"
  2454. >You can't restrain yourself any longer.
  2455. >You shall partake.
  2456.  
  2457. >Pinkie Pie trots on by, stopping in her tracks when she sees Starlight.
  2458. >"My name is Pinkie Pi—Oh, Hiya Starlight!"
  2459. >"Hey Pinkie!"
  2460. >"Oh, and hi Nonny!"
  2461. "…"
  2462. >After a brief period of silence, Pinkie's brows arch upwards in concern.
  2463. >"Uh, Starlight, you do know that Nonny's face is…eh…"
  2464. >"Right in my chest fluff, yeah."
  2465. >"Yup! And your hoof is…wow, you're *really* pressing him in there, huh?"
  2466. >"Mhmm."
  2467. >"C-can he breathe?"
  2468. >"As long as he remembers to, yes."
  2469. >As if on cue, a loud snort ripples through Starlight's tuft, and she sighs in satisfaction.
  2470. >"That's right, Anon," Starlight coos. "Take it all in~"
  2471. >"W-well," Pinkie stammers, "I can see that you two are suuuper busy, so I'll leave you two alone, ehehe…"
  2472. >"Mm. See you around, Pinkie."
  2473. >Pinkie exits the scene much like how she entered it.
  2474. >Once she trots out of earshot, Pinkie shakes her head and sighs to herself.
  2475. >"Public tuft huffing… What is this town coming to…"
  2476.  
  2477. ***
  2478.  
  2479. - 31 - A Timely Adjustment [BORDERLINE] [MEME] - (20/03/24)
  2480. >It's a bright and sunny day in Ponyville.
  2481. >The perfect day to be sipping on an iced tea while sitting on the patio outside a cafe.
  2482. >Which you are doing—earnestly so.
  2483. >As the refreshingly chilled beverage flows down your gullet, you catch movement out from the corner of your eye.
  2484. >A pony is making their way up to you.
  2485. >Turning your head to identify the advancing force, you recognise them as a purple unicorn mare.
  2486. >She's not "Twilight" purple—more of a lighter shade.
  2487. >You think you know this one—she's a protege of the Purple Princess.
  2488. >What was her name again?
  2489. >Nightsky Shiner?
  2490. >Starlight Express?
  2491. >Purple Panic?
  2492. >By the time she comes up to you—you still haven't figured out her name.
  2493. >She gives you a friendly smile; you give her one back.
  2494. >The two of you hold your smiles for ten seconds with nary a peep from either of you.
  2495. >And after another ten seconds, you feel your mouthline quivering from the continued strain of sustaining your salutations.
  2496. >…Fuck, are you gonna have to be the one to initiate?
  2497. >How are you gonna greet her?
  2498. >Your brain is still firing on all cylinders when it comes to recalling her name.
  2499. "…Heeeyyy…"
  2500. >You buy as much time as humanly possible while you peruse your memory banks for her name.
  2501. >Sunset Shimmer?
  2502. >Aurora Borealis?
  2503. >Star Swirl the Unbearded?
  2504. "…Uuuhhh…"
  2505. >Blue-Eyes Purple Pony?
  2506. >Pinkie Pie?
  2507. >Twilight Twinkle?
  2508. >God damn it, you really can't remember; you're just gonna have to go in raw.
  2509. "You."
  2510. >"Hey Anon!"
  2511. >She bought it—mission successful.
  2512. "How's it going?"
  2513. >"Great! By the way, wouldn't it be cool if we happened to know each other for a really long time—like, say…since childhood?"
  2514. >She ends her question on a wide, toothy grin.
  2515. "Huh?"
  2516. >You don't fully register what she has just asked—because you're still stubbornly trying to remember what this mare's name is.
  2517. >Star Chaser?
  2518. >Magic Mare?
  2519. >Turquoise Toothpaste?
  2520. >Kite—oh right you should probably answer her.
  2521. "Um…maybe?"
  2522. >Her grin widens.
  2523. >"Yes! I knew you'd agree! Alright, see you around!"
  2524. "Uh, bye, I guess."
  2525. >After giving you an energetic wave, she trots away with a pep in her step.
  2526. >You take another sip of your iced tea after she leaves.
  2527. "Weird."
  2528. >What a curious conversation.
  2529. >You still can't remember her name.
  2530. >The rest of the day passes without incident.
  2531. >And once you hit your bed for some shut-eye—so does the rest of the night.
  2532.  
  2533. >A new day dawns upon you, and you wake up in your large double bed.
  2534. >After going through your morning rituals, you head through a long hallway and down the stairs.
  2535. >Entering the living room, you pace a few steps, and then a few more, and then a few more—until you're standing in the dead-centre of it.
  2536. >You examine your surroundings, noting several couches, well-stocked bookshelves, and large potted plants arranged throughout the room.
  2537. >Kites of various sizes and shapes hang from the ceiling, and a few opened toy sets lie scattered over the carpeted floor.
  2538. >You arch an eyebrow. Was your house always this large? Or well-furnished?
  2539. >Before you can ponder this perceived oddity any further, a sweet savoury smell flows into your nostrils; it's coming from the kitchen.
  2540. >You follow your nose and head to the kitchen doorway, hearing childish giggling and the clippity clop of little hoofsteps as you draw closer.
  2541. >Peering inside, you see that the kitchen is abuzz with activity.
  2542. >Several foals run throughout the kitchen; most of them have coats coloured in various shades of purple, but there are a few green-coated ones too.
  2543. >Some of them play-fight with each other, while a few hang from the edge of the kitchen counter, eager to catch an eyeful of the foodstuffs on the countertop.
  2544. >And in the middle of it all, you see your beautiful wife—Starlight Glimmer—cooking breakfast, and it's a *whole* lot of breakfast.
  2545.  
  2546. >She wears a floral-patterned apron that hugs her generous curves quite nicely; though it does little to hide her baby bump.
  2547. >You see some of the foals scurrying around Starlight's legs, while another is hanging from the end of her tail.
  2548. >Despite the bustling atmosphere in the cooking area, Starlight remains focused as she conducts the flow of the kitchen like an orchestra.
  2549. >She lightly hums to herself as she animates a multitude of pans and other utensils held within a blue-green glow; she wields them all with a practised precision, stirring and ladling and tossing and kneading and dicing and—
  2550. >Oh sweet Jesus, is she frying bacon?
  2551. >Meat? On Equestria?
  2552. >The sight and smell invokes a deep sense of nostalgic bliss within you, and you can't help but let out a quiet gasp as you salivate a little.
  2553. >It's only at the sound of your voice that Starlight's steadfast focus is broken; her ears perk up and she quickly turns her head to face you, and a soft, doting smile soon decorates her matronly face.
  2554. >"Oh, Anon! You're awake! Sleep well?"
  2555. "Mm-hmm. You?"
  2556. >"Just wonderful! Oh, listen—could you check up on Luster for me? I think she's wrapped up in another one of her sulking moods. I'd talk to her myself but I'm a little tied up here!"
  2557. "Sure."
  2558. >"Thanks! She's probably holed up in her room, and—ah—Junior! Get your hooves out of the cookie jar right this instant! Those are for everypony, not just you!"
  2559. >You turn around just as you catch a glimpse of a little light-green filly floating through the air.
  2560. >Two foals run a few laps around your legs before dashing into the living room, and you walk back to the foot of the stairs.
  2561. >As you begin to ascend the stairs, your eyes drift to the side, noticing the myriad of photographs hung up along the wall.
  2562. >There's one of you and Starlight playing together as kid and foal.
  2563. >One of you and Starlight celebrating her cute-ceañera.
  2564. >One of you and Starlight graduating school together.
  2565. >One of you and Starlight getting married.
  2566. >One of you and Starlight with an adorable pink foal.
  2567. >One of you and Starlight with a few more adorable foals.
  2568. >One of you and Starlight with even more adorable foals.
  2569. >You're beginning to see a pattern here.
  2570. >These are all fond memories—you can recall each and every one in vivid detail, and yet…
  2571. >And yet you can't help but feel that something is off.
  2572. >You can feel another memory clawing at the very edges of your mind.
  2573. >It's fading quickly, but you think it might be something…important?
  2574. >As you try to grasp that fading memory before it disappears for good—that succulent, savoury smell graces your nostrils once more…
  2575. >Aaand there it goes.
  2576. >…Eh, if you couldn't remember it—it probably wasn't worth worrying about, anyway.
  2577.  
  2578. ***
  2579.  
  2580. - 32 - Healing [BORDERLINE] - (23/03/24)
  2581. >Starlight Glimmer runs up to the front door of a house belonging to a particular individual.
  2582. >Her eyes are puffy, her nose is runny, and her mane is frazzled.
  2583. >She frantically knocks upon the door.
  2584. >Her hooves impatiently tap the welcome mat as she anxiously trots in place, waiting…waiting…
  2585. >Thankfully, the door soon opens, and *he* answers.
  2586. >He's the only human in Ponyville, and he's a tall sort.
  2587. >His towering stature comes off as intimidating to most ponies, but to her—he's the gentle giant she so desperately needs right now.
  2588. >She has to crane her neck to make eye contact with him, and when she does—that's when the words start spilling out of her mouth.
  2589. "A-anon! I-I…really…I really…!"
  2590. >She chokes on her own words, unable to form a coherent sentence as she is.
  2591. >"Deep breaths, Glimmy; deep breaths."
  2592. >She tries to do as he instructs, shakily taking in air through her nose.
  2593. >Yet her breathing remains ragged, and her failures continue to torment her.
  2594. >So he crouches down and cups her cheek, wiping away her tears with his thumb.
  2595. >"Take your time; there's no rush."
  2596. >She leans into his touch.
  2597. >She sees his warm, empathic smile and his calm, understanding eyes.
  2598. >Her breathing comes more naturally, her heartbeat steadies.
  2599. >And eventually, she's ready to speak up.
  2600. "I-I really messed up this time! I really did…!"
  2601. >Through still-shaky breaths, Starlight proceeds to explain the circumstances which lead up to her distraught demeanour.
  2602. >It had all started out as a simple friendship lesson set for her by Princess Twilight.
  2603. >Starlight, in an attempt to streamline the process, quickly resorted to magic.
  2604. >It's become fairly standard for her at this point—she's good at magic, so why *shouldn't* she use it whenever possible?
  2605. >But this time she went far—too far.
  2606. >The spell grew out of hand, and the results were disastrous.
  2607. >And when Twilight found out—she was *furious.*
  2608. >Twilight's reaction wasn't entirely unfounded; she no doubt has her own personal sources of stress in addition to worrying about her impromptu student.
  2609. >But whatever the case may have been, Twilight blew up on Starlight right then and there, shouting at her to never show her face around the castle again.
  2610. >The embarrassment of failure, the disappointment of a mentor, the loss of a friend…
  2611. >It all proved too much for Starlight to handle, and she dashed out of the castle with tears in her eyes.
  2612. >And after all of that—coming here was the very first thing on her mind.
  2613. >To her human.
  2614.  
  2615. >After she finishes her explanation, she watches him nod with that same warm smile.
  2616. >"It sounds like you've been through a lot."
  2617. >She murmurs something resembling a mix between an agreement and self-depreciation.
  2618. >He slowly removes his hand from her cheek, the loss of his warm touch making her involuntarily whimper.
  2619. >Before any more sounds of sadness can escape her, he stands up and opens his door all the way, beckoning her inside his house.
  2620. >"Care for a drink?"
  2621. >Her eager nods come in the form of a reflex rather than a reaction.
  2622. >Entering his house, she lays down on his couch while he heads to the kitchen.
  2623. >There's a box of tissues on the coffee table; she uses them to wipe her face.
  2624. >A few tissues later, and her face has almost completely been wiped clean of her sorrow.
  2625. >But it's not enough.
  2626. >She needs him.
  2627. >Her prayers are soon answered, as he returns from the kitchen, bringing back two filled mugs.
  2628. >After he sets the mugs down on the table, they enjoy some "empathy cocoa," as the two have taken to calling it.
  2629. >The beverage is nice, but not as nice as what comes after:
  2630. >Cuddling on the couch, fur against skin.
  2631. >Rubbing her body against his, sharing body heat.
  2632. >Pressing her snout into his chest, taking in his scent.
  2633. >It's a strong, masculine scent—one that provides her with a steadfast sense of familiarity and comfort.
  2634. >It makes her feel safe, knowing that no matter what happens—she'll always have a home here.
  2635. >The longer she lies with him, the more she can feel her worries melt away.
  2636. >She feels one of his hands gently brush through her mane, sorting through tangled clumps of hair and giving her the sorely needed care that she has been neglecting to give herself.
  2637. >"There, there. It's okay…" he whispers.
  2638. >His soothing voice makes her shiver in cathartic bliss.
  2639. >She loves everything about him.
  2640. >The way his steady heartbeat calms her frantic one.
  2641. >The way his hands explore all over her body, massaging through her fur and working out knots that she never knew existed.
  2642. >The way he whispers sweet nothings into her ear.
  2643. >And the way she whispers sweet nothings back.
  2644. >A happy sigh escapes her lips; she knows she can take as much time as she needs to recuperate.
  2645. >Even all of the time, should it come to that.
  2646. >Eventually, perhaps Starlight and Twilight will come to terms over their falling-out and rekindle their friendship once more.
  2647. >Or perhaps not; either way, she's no longer worried about the future or the past.
  2648. >Because right now?
  2649. >It's time for her to heal.
  2650.  
  2651. ***
  2652.  
  2653. - 33 - Mystery of the ___ [COMFY] - (11/04/24)
  2654. ["Anon should also ask about her mom, and why her her or her dad never talk about her and why she isn't in any photos."]
  2655. >You are in Starlight Glimmer's childhood home in Sire's Hollow, touring through the various rooms.
  2656. >Starlight herself is with you, and together—you're reminiscing on her past; you can hear the wind howling against the walls of the house as you walk through the main hallway with her.
  2657. >Sire's Hollow is a curious village, caught in between times; some of the buildings have a sleek, modern, and highly colourful look to them, while the rest of the buildings are more traditionalist—proudly displaying the bare brown brick and mortar that makes them up.
  2658. >As the wooden floorboards creak under your feet, you deduce that Starlight's old home falls strictly under the latter category.
  2659. >Stopping in front of a drawer, you briefly examine the vintage vase on top of it before turning to Starlight.
  2660. "Your dad was a real stickler for the antiques, I'm guessing."
  2661. >"You have no idea; whenever he was around, he'd always try and get me to read one of his 'grand' history books with him." She twirls her hoof about in the air. "Because I *definitely* needed a lesson on how this town was founded *every* single week."
  2662. >She throws her head back and lets out a suitably "grand" sigh before turning back to you.
  2663. >"As you can imagine, it was stifling."
  2664. >You suppress a snicker as you turn back to the vase.
  2665. >"It might crumble to dust as soon as you touch it; be careful~" Starlight teases as she walks away.
  2666. "Yeah, yeah…"
  2667. >You look up from the vase, seeing a photo frame hung up on the wall.
  2668. "Hm…"
  2669. >It's a family photo—Starlight's family, of course, considering the building that you're in right now.
  2670. >On the far right, you see Starlight's dad: Firelight, with a wide smile; with his dark purple coat and a two-tone turquoise mane—you can definitely see where Starlight gets her colour scheme from.
  2671. >In the middle, you see Starlight; she's an adorable little filly in this one, with her mane styled in cutesy twin tails.
  2672. >And on the left, you see the…end of the frame?
  2673. >No, wait, that can't be right.
  2674. >You're pretty sure that there are three ponies in this portrait.
  2675. >Let's try this again.
  2676. >Starlight is in the middle; while her dad is on the right…
  2677. >So on the left is…
  2678. >The edge of the frame, again.
  2679. >How strange. It's as if your perception blanks out when you try to focus on the left side of the portrait.
  2680. >It's like an indecipherable blur—a perpetual blind spot over your vision that's rooted in the portrait itself.
  2681. >Actually, it's even less than a blur, it's like…it's like it's hiding away from your sight.
  2682. >But how is this possible? It's just a static photo; photos can't hide, can they?
  2683. >You tilt your head, examining the picture from a multitude of angles…and still nothing.
  2684. >But there *has* to be something there, right?
  2685. >It's a family portrait; Starlight has a dad—you know this for certain.
  2686. >So what else would she have?
  2687. >…Another dad? No, there's another word you're looking for.
  2688. >But why is it suddenly so difficult to remember…?
  2689.  
  2690. >"Is everything alright, Anon? You've been staring at that picture for a while now."
  2691. >You jerk your head away from the portrait to see Starlight looking up at you with concern.
  2692. "Oh, yeah, just…"
  2693. >Your lips purse in thought; if anyone has any idea as to what's going on—it's Starlight.
  2694. "Actually, I have a question for you."
  2695. >"Sure, shoot."
  2696. "How was it like, you know, living here?"
  2697. >"Well, like I said earlier, my dad was *really* overbearing, and I wasn't doing too well in the friend department, so I spent most of my time in my room."
  2698. "Right…"
  2699. >Ah, that's right; Starlight was quite the loner while she grew up in Sire's Hollow.
  2700. >It was a loneliness that she bitterly blamed on cutie marks as a whole, and her resentment towards those butt-bound tattoos was what caused her to—
  2701. >Wait, you're getting off track here.
  2702. >The real reason you asked her that question was because…
  2703. "Was it just your dad, though?"
  2704. >She tilts her head.
  2705. >"What do you mean?"
  2706. "Did you live here with a…"
  2707. >Your brows furrow as you try to search for that magic word.
  2708. "…someone?"
  2709. >Her own brows furrow as well.
  2710. >"Someone? You mean a special somepony?"
  2711. "No. I mean a…"
  2712. >Come on—what's the word…?
  2713. "An…um…"
  2714. >Ugh, it's on the tip of your tongue…!
  2715. >Municipality?
  2716. >Motley?
  2717. >Maybe if you close your eyes—it'll help you remember?
  2718. >Matter?
  2719. >Money?
  2720. >Mustard—
  2721. >"You're pulling funny faces again, Anon."
  2722. >You open your eyes to see Starlight, both bemused and amused.
  2723. "Oh, my bad."
  2724. >You're not getting anywhere like this; time to switch tactics.
  2725. >Turning back to the photo, you address Starlight.
  2726. "Hey, could you look at this with me? The family photo, I mean."
  2727. >She nods with a hum, craning her neck upwards to examine it with you.
  2728. >To you, the photo looks the exact same—indecipherable left side included; perhaps the eyes of a family member can unshroud this mystery.
  2729. >After a few seconds of intense photo perusal between the two of you, Starlight looks back to you.
  2730. >"Sooo…what about it?"
  2731. "This might sound a little off, so bear with me here—but what do you see in it?"
  2732. >"Well, it's me and my dad and—"
  2733. >She stops herself, knitting her brows.
  2734. "Aaand?"
  2735. >She blinks, casting the portrait a second glance.
  2736. >"Just me and my dad. Sorry; not sure where I got the second 'and' from."
  2737. >Wait.
  2738. >Does she…also not know?
  2739. "Hold on, are you saying that you can only see two ponies in that portrait?"
  2740. >She casts the portrait a third glance and gives you a nod.
  2741. >"Yup, just me and him. Why, are you seeing something I can't?"
  2742. "That's what I'm trying to figure out."
  2743.  
  2744. >She tilts her head and arches an eyebrow.
  2745. >"'Trying to?' You're losing me here, Anon."
  2746. >That's a perfectly understandable reaction from her; you feel like you're losing *yourself* right now.
  2747. >But you *have* to get to the bottom of this.
  2748. "Well, don't you have an…ugh, damn it."
  2749. >You're going in circles here.
  2750. >It's like a dad, but…
  2751. >Time to think outside the box—outside the house.
  2752. "What does Sunburst have?"
  2753. >"Sunburst? Uh…" She purses her lips in thought.
  2754. >"He has—" She taps her barrel. "—his wizard robe."
  2755. >"That goatee." She rubs her chin.
  2756. >"Formal education." She twirls her hoof about in the air.
  2757. "Okay—let's hone in on the familial. Who took care of Sunburst while he lived in Sire's Hollow?"
  2758. >"Well, there's Stellar Flare—oh, and there's also Sunspot, who's his dad."
  2759. >Right, so this "Sunspot" is Sunburst's dad, which makes Stellar Flare…uh…
  2760. "What's Stellar Flare to him?"
  2761. >"She's one of his parents."
  2762. "Yeah but…what kind of parent?"
  2763. >"The…"
  2764. >Her eyes briefly flit to the side.
  2765. >"The other one."
  2766. "Right, but what makes her different to his dad?"
  2767. >"She really likes plans?"
  2768. >You groan; whatever tomfoolery that is going on here is clearly extending to your conversation, too.
  2769. >Come on, think! What can you say to jog your collective memories?
  2770. >Dads and…not-dads…
  2771. "Dads don't give birth," you blurt out.
  2772. >You can't believe you just said that out loud.
  2773. >Starlight staggers slightly, but responds just as quickly as she recovers.
  2774. >"Y-yeah, I know that; that's what moms do."
  2775. >Your eyes shoot open.
  2776. >She said it! She said the magic word!
  2777. "Yes!"
  2778. >You jubilantly clasp your hands together.
  2779. "Sunburst. Has. A mom!"
  2780. >You are way too excited by this revelation.
  2781. >Hopefully you aren't giving Starlight the wrong idea.
  2782. "…Do you have a mom?"
  2783. >Okay, now you *really* hope you aren't giving Starlight the wrong idea.
  2784. >Starlight gives you an understandably suspicious look, but nods.
  2785. >"Well obviously I have a mom, Anon."
  2786. >She states the truth matter-of-factly, but you can see a slight measure of relief present upon her face for having remembered that she, in fact, did *not* asexually spawn from her dad.
  2787.  
  2788. "'Have?' Or 'had?'"
  2789. >"Oh, er…"
  2790. >Starlight frowns and looks away.
  2791. >It must be tough to recall that which seems to lie upon the very edges on your memories.
  2792. >…Or it could be that it's a touchy subject for her.
  2793. >Nice going, idiot.
  2794. "Wait. Sorry if I'm overstepping my bounds here."
  2795. >"No, it's fine. At least…I think it's fine? I'm not sure."
  2796. >She looks up at you with a mixture of emotions—greatest of them all being uncertainty.
  2797. >"I don't think she's around any more; we would have seen her otherwise, right?"
  2798. >You nod; that makes sense.
  2799. "If you don't mind me asking—how was she? Do you remember?"
  2800. >"A…a little bit. It's slowly coming back to me now."
  2801. >A wistful smile forms on her face.
  2802. >"She was very supportive, and she…she taught me how to fly kites."
  2803. "She sounds like a wonderful pony." You smile.
  2804. >"Yeah…"
  2805. >You look back to the family portrait on the wall; it's still indecipherably blurry, but you think that you can make out a silhouette to the left of filly Starlight.
  2806. >You still can't make out the colours, though, but it looks…mare-shaped; mom-shaped, mayhaps?
  2807. "Do you remember her name?"
  2808. >After a few seconds of thought, she shakes her head.
  2809. >"…No. It's been a really long time since I last saw her. All I have to go on are vague memories from my childhood. She left me even before Sunburst got his cutie mark."
  2810. "Do you…"
  2811. >You stop yourself; feeling a little self-conscious over your probing.
  2812. >"I don't remember why she left, no," Starlight answers your unfinished question.
  2813. "Ah, right."
  2814. >You think you hear her mumble "or how" to herself, but you're not too sure; the increasingly strong gusts outside the house make it hard to hear such susurrations.
  2815. >That time of her life must have been a tumultuous one; it's understandable that her memories of that period aren't the most reliable.
  2816. >But after the shared lapse in memory you two experienced earlier, you can't help but wonder—is "time" really the only reason she can't remember her mom?
  2817. >And what if…
  2818. "Hey, Star—"
  2819. >An aeolian roar drowns out your voice as wind continues to rush against the house.
  2820. >The pegasi are really putting in work today.
  2821. >"Hm? Did you say something?"
  2822. >You crouch down next to Starlight so she can hear you better.
  2823. "Yeah, I was just wondering…"
  2824. >"What is it?"
  2825. >You lean in towards her, your voice growing quieter.
  2826. "Your mom—what if she never left?"
  2827. >She blinks at you a few times, then gives you a scoff of disbelief.
  2828. >"W-what? Come on, Anon, that's silly. If she was still here, she would've welcomed us when—"
  2829. >A cold gust suddenly rushes through the hallway, grazing you and you making your hairs stand on end.
  2830. >It's been a surprisingly windy day today, someone must have left a window open—
  2831. >*SLAM*
  2832. >That's the sound of a door being harshly shut from down the hallway; it startles the both of you.
  2833. >That must have also been a result of the wind—the same bone-chilling wind that's racing through the house right now.
  2834.  
  2835. "…Just a thought."
  2836. >"Well, keep those thoughts to yourself." She frowns. "My mom is gone. Definitely. Absolutely. Maybe."
  2837. "Right, my bad."
  2838. >Wait, what was that last thing she said?
  2839. >Something about…
  2840. >*Creeeaaak*
  2841. >You hear a door slowly creak open from down the hallway.
  2842. "Is that the same door?"
  2843. >"Yeah."
  2844. >She pauses.
  2845. >"…Parents' bedroom."
  2846. "Oh. Is your dad working on something?"
  2847. >"He's out managing the book store right now…"
  2848. >Which means that you two are the only ones in the house.
  2849. >Which also means that the feeling of being watched from every single angle is definitely your imagination.
  2850. >And that low wailing sound echoing throughout the halls is just how your brain is interpreting the wind, obviously.
  2851. >Yeah. This is all a result of either the wind or your overactive imagination.
  2852. >Because the only two individuals currently within this house are you and the magically adept unicorn right next to you.
  2853. >Hey—wait a minute.
  2854. >You gently pat Starlight's back as you squeak out a nervous chuckle.
  2855. "A-alright, you got me. The setup was flawless."
  2856. >"Huh?"
  2857. "The enchanted portrait, the weird spell that blocks out words, and you even left some of the windows open."
  2858. >You give her a knowing grin.
  2859. "I gotta admit, it's a pretty good prank. Well done."
  2860. >"A prank?"
  2861. >She frowns at you.
  2862. >"Anon, this is my mom we're talking about. She's not something I'm gonna make light of."
  2863. >She's not backing down.
  2864. >You have to respect her commitment to the bit.
  2865. >As you open your mouth to contest her inculpability, an otherworldly chill wracks your body.
  2866. >That must be the wind again—you're sure—but there's…something else in there.
  2867. >It's an uneasy sensation; something that could not be—and yet is.
  2868. >Something that feels like it can just as easily unmake you as it can make you.
  2869. >You know that Starlight feels this unease too, as you can feel her hackles stand on end while your hand still rests upon her back.
  2870. >She stares into your eyes; you stare back, unwilling to look anywhere else—just in case the wind around you looks back.
  2871. >The two of you are almost huddled side-by-side now; you're not sure when this happened.
  2872. >Or how.
  2873. "Hey, um, Starlight," you whisper.
  2874. >"Y-yeah?" she whispers back.
  2875. "Th-this house tour has been great and all but, uh, wanna hit up the…the smoothie bar?"
  2876. >"That…that sounds like a great idea! C-come on, let's go!"
  2877. >The two of you soon hurry out of the house to grab some much-needed smoothies.
  2878. >Perhaps some things are best left unknown.
  2879.  
  2880. ***
  2881.  
  2882. - 34 - Boop from Above [COMFY] - (13/04/24)
  2883. [https://derpibooru.org/images/3024357 ]
  2884. >Clear blue skies up above;
  2885. >A blanket of lush verdancy at your back;
  2886. >And the sweet summer breeze sailing over you.
  2887. >What more can you ask for?
  2888. >You are Anonymous, and you are relaxing on the grass in a peaceful open field.
  2889. >With your hands wrapped around your head, and a knee kicked up—you consider yourself the picturesque definition of "comfy."
  2890. >Not only that, but you *feel* comfy, too.
  2891. >The temperature is juuust right, not too hot and certainly not too cold.
  2892. >Your nostrils freely take in the pleasant fragrances of the natural world around you.
  2893. >Clean air, fresh grass, red roses, creamy white gardenias, lilacs…
  2894. >The soft whistle of the wind masks the gentle rustling of the grass around you.
  2895. >Your eyes lazily trace the few scant clouds that float high in the sky.
  2896. >They drift about in the troposphere, content to follow whichever way the wind blows.
  2897. >Just as the cloud that you're tracking floats out of view—you can feel it:
  2898. >A slight shift in the wind;
  2899. >The sudden presence that you feel from behind you;
  2900. >And the dark shadow looming over your body.
  2901. >At the peak of your vision, a spiralling horn slowly comes into into view—followed by a blue-green mass of hair, and then a face covered in light purple fur.
  2902. >Those piercing blue eyes it has stare into your very soul, leaving you paralysed with fear.
  2903. >The full head of this lilac creature soon eclipses your vision, blocking out sky and sun both.
  2904. >The creature wears a frown upon its face.
  2905. >No, wait—its face is upside down, which means that it must be smiling at you, instead.
  2906. >A predatory grin, most likely—one that relishes your helplessness.
  2907. >The grin on its face widens as it descends upon you, doubtless intending to make you its next meal.
  2908. >Your body refuses to heed your commands, so all you can do is hold your breath as you await the end.
  2909. >It draws closer and closer, until you're face to upside-down face.
  2910. >And it lightly taps its snout against your nose, the short fur tickling your skin.
  2911. >Before you can respond, it quickly pulls back.
  2912. >"Boop!" it gleefully chirps.
  2913. >And just like that—it leaves, exiting the way it came.
  2914. >The looming shadow disappears, and the peaceful hyaline returns.
  2915. >But you continue to lie there, completely and utterly violated—booped without your consent.
  2916. >And the scariest, most disconcerting thing of all is—
  2917. >You liked it.
  2918.  
  2919. ***
  2920.  
  2921. - 35 - Excitable Epistaxis [COMFY] - (01/05/24)
  2922. >In the midst of a murky cave, six shining symbols hover within the damp air; they are encapsulated in a green glow.
  2923. >These symbols slowly float up to a towering glass case situated at the far end of the cave.
  2924. >This glass case contains both the dreams and destinies that the denizens of a nearby town have chosen to leave behind; it illuminates the interior of this dark cave with a pale blue brilliance.
  2925. >The magical symbols floating in the air are six such dreams, and as they join their brethren in impounded unity—the glass case glows just that little bit brighter.
  2926. >This cavern is known as the Cutie Mark Vault; it's a place where the ponies of Our Town go to give up their cutie marks through a ceremony called the "Cutie Unmarking."
  2927. >A unicorn known as Starlight Glimmer has just finished forcibly "Unmarking" six mares who sought to unravel her way of life.
  2928. >In time, they'll learn to appreciate the Equestria that Starlight envisions.
  2929. >And as for you—you're standing by Starlight's side, watching her twirl her makeshift staff with a playful flourish and a victorious smile.
  2930. >"—and we'll teach you just how much better life can be *without* your cutie marks!"
  2931. >As Starlight finishes addressing the six newcomers, she sets her staff back in its pedestal.
  2932. >The newcomers all stare back at her; some look utterly defeated, while others look steadfastly defiant.
  2933. >Out of the six, one of them steps forward—the leader, you believe.
  2934. >She's a purple alicorn, and she's the only one whose name you can recall off hand—Twilight Sparkle.
  2935. >Her wings are folded, her ears are flattened, and her cutie mark has been forcibly removed from her body—
  2936. >And yet, despite it all—there is a deep determination that smoulders within her eyes.
  2937. >"You…you won't get away with this!" Twilight shouts.
  2938. >Starlight turns up her snout, her confident grin widening even more.
  2939. >"Oh my, are you quite sure about that? Because from where I'm standing—it looks like I already *have* gotten away with it! Hm-hm~" she titters.
  2940. >"Cutie marks are an essential part of who we are! You can't just…j-just…"
  2941. >Twilight trails off as she stares at Starlight's face, squinting her eyes.
  2942. >Noticing her silence, Starlight tilts her head in bemused amusement.
  2943. >"'I can't just' what? My, have you lost your bravado already?"
  2944. >Twilight blinks a few times and takes a short step back.
  2945. >"N-no. It's just…um…"
  2946.  
  2947. >You turn your head to look at Starlight's face and—ah, you think you can see what has struck Twilight speechless.
  2948. "Uh, Starlight?"
  2949. >She turns her head to face you.
  2950. >Judging by the calm, confident expression on her face—Starlight is completely oblivious to the red trail that is currently flowing down from one of her nostrils.
  2951. >"Hm? What is it?"
  2952. "You got a little…"
  2953. >You rub one of your fingers around the area just above your upper lip, hoping she gets the message.
  2954. >"Huh…?"
  2955. >Starlight furrows her brows and raises a forehoof up to her face; then, she tentatively rubs around the area under her snout for a few brief moments.
  2956. >After taking her hoof away and examining it, she sees the red splotch that stains her fetlocks—
  2957. >And her eyes shoot open.
  2958. >"Ah! No!"
  2959. >Starlight hurriedly covers her nose with her forehoof in an attempt to conceal her nosebleed, but she only manages to stain her fur even further with her nasal blood.
  2960. >"Ugh! Wh-why now?!" she speaks through her hoof.
  2961. >"A-are you okay?" Twilight asks with newly minted concern in her eyes. "Is there a hospital in this village we can take you to?"
  2962. >"Hosp—uh…"
  2963. >Starlight's eyes nervously flit to the side—and you quickly speak up.
  2964. "Her nose always acts up like this whenever she gets excited. There's nothing to worry about."
  2965. >"D-don't tell them that, you fool!" Starlight snaps at you, stomping her hoof into the ground.
  2966. >Some of the ponies behind Twilight begin to gossip among themselves.
  2967. >"Oh my…" the yellow pegasus whispers.
  2968. >"Blegh. What an absolutely ghastly condition," the white unicorn begins. "Even without my cutie mark—it's clear as day that 'blood red' and lilac fur simply don't mix; you have my sincerest condolences, dear."
  2969. >"Pfftahaha," the blue pegasus cackles, "is this the first time we've fought a bad guy with a nosebleed? She looks like her butt's already *been* whooped!"
  2970. >Starlight grits her teeth in both anger and embarrassment at the loose-lipped mares; her flushed cheeks only serve to add even more red to her face.
  2971. >Twilight takes a tentative step forward.
  2972. >"Um, Starlight, I happen to know a few spells that can help you with your problem, but I—uh, I'll need my cutie mark back to cast them, so…"
  2973. >"No!" Starlight snaps back. "Your cutie mark belongs to m—er…"
  2974. >Quickly slamming her own mouth shut, Starlight looks around the cave, desperate to find something that will take the attention off of her own nosebleed.
  2975. >Her furious eyes fall upon the equalised denizens of Our Town who are also in the vault with you; their ever-present Stepford smiles are beginning to falter slightly.
  2976. >"What are you all just standing around for?!" she barks. "Take them away!"
  2977. >With frantic nods and hasty movements, the townsponies speedily usher the six newcomers out of the cave and towards their new life.
  2978.  
  2979. >A cacophony of hurried hoofsteps later—and only you and Starlight remain in the vault.
  2980. >Starlight lets out a loud sigh, slouching down onto her haunches and slumping her shoulders despondently; she doubtless feels down over the blow to her image that her own blunderous biology has dealt her.
  2981. >Meanwhile, as someone who's known Starlight for a while now—you're prepared for every bloody scenario; you procure a box of tissues from your pocket and walk up to her.
  2982. >You slowly crouch down in front of Starlight and smile at her, tissue in hand.
  2983. "Hold still, I'll get it for you."
  2984. >She glares at you briefly, but she quickly breaks eye contact, glancing to the side.
  2985. >"Hmph."
  2986. >Using your handy dandy white weaves, you carefully wipe the bloodied area around her snout, pulling out a new tissue whenever necessary.
  2987. >After you've cleaned up most of her external erythrocytes, she speaks up.
  2988. >"Ugh…why did you tell them about my nosebleed…"
  2989. "I didn't want them thinking that you were about to drop dead on us."
  2990. >She frowns at you.
  2991. >"But…but who's going to respect a leader who can't even keep her nose clean?"
  2992. >You take her bloodied forehoof in your hand and tenderly wipe it with another tissue.
  2993. "Hey, I respect you, and I've had to clean up your nose boo-boos countless times."
  2994. >She blinks at you a few times, before glancing to the side again—
  2995. >But this time—there's a rosy hue on her cheeks that no tissue could hope to clean.
  2996. >"Mrrgh…just clean it up already."
  2997. >And so you do.
  2998. >The quiet solitude of this expansive cavern is only broken up by the sounds of the wind howling in through the entrance—and of Starlight's tail lightly brushing across the floor.
  2999. >Looking at her now, there's no doubt in your mind; you find yourself in direct disagreement with the assessment that the white unicorn from earlier had made—
  3000. >Because your Glimmy is a total cutie no matter how she looks.
  3001.  
  3002. ***
  3003.  
  3004. - 36 - A Cuddly Complex [COMFY] [MEME] - (07/05/24)
  3005. ["glim must be cuddled multiple times daily, do you think you could handle this?"]
  3006. >You sneak into a secluded study within Twilight's Castle; every step you take is strategic and silent.
  3007. >After closing the door behind you, you barricade it with a nearby table—
  3008. >And then a chair,
  3009. >And then another chair,
  3010. >And then a few heavy books on top—just in case.
  3011. >There, perfect; now that you're safe, you can stop playing the part of the stealthy simian.
  3012. >Turning around, you see that the purple alicorn sitting at her desk still hasn't noticed you—likely engrossed in whatever book she's reading.
  3013. >So you shamble up to her, each lumbering plod you take along the carpet doing little to alert her to your presence.
  3014. >Standing directly behind her, you slowly reach out towards her slumped, distracted form—your furless appendage gliding through the air…
  3015. >And you tap her on the shoulder.
  3016. >"AH!" she yelps.
  3017. >She jolts upwards, fur bristling.
  3018. >She swiftly turns around on her chair, and her alerted, rapidly blinking eyes make contact with your sunken, sullen ones.
  3019. "Twilight."
  3020. >Upon seeing you, she forces a strained smile, one that shows not only her obvious displeasure at you having interrupted her solitary study session—but also her genuine concern about your current state.
  3021. >You'd normally feel bad for her, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
  3022. >"O-oh, Anon! What brings you here today?"
  3023. >Your throat is dry, and your head is pounding—but you do your best to croak out the words.
  3024. "I…I need your help. I-I need…I need…please…"
  3025. >Knitting her brows at your doddering dialogue, she raises a forehoof to stop you.
  3026. >"Slow down, Anon. Deep breaths. What is it that you need?"
  3027. "It's…it's her—"
  3028. >As you indirectly mention the mare in question, a deep-rooted fear suddenly takes hold of your body.
  3029. >You frantically swivel around the room—
  3030. >Checking every corner,
  3031. >Every crevice,
  3032. >For any signs of "her."
  3033. >…You don't see her anywhere.
  3034. >Good. That means you're still…you're still safe.
  3035. >Twilight also looks around the room; she quickly noticing the state of the room's entrance and gives you a concerned look.
  3036. >"Um, Anon, did you have to barricade the door…?"
  3037. "Yes. Yes I did. I…"
  3038. >You take a deep breath to steady your nerves; you can't afford to fumble any more sentences this close to the finish line.
  3039.  
  3040. "I need your help, Twilight; it's Starlight."
  3041. >"Starlight?!"
  3042. >She quickly straightens her posture and flexes her wings, ready to go at a moment's notice.
  3043. >"Is she in trouble?"
  3044. "She—no." You shake your head. "It's not her who's in trouble…"
  3045. >"Then who?"
  3046. "It…it's me."
  3047. >She gasps, leaning forward.
  3048. >"Is she doing something to you, Anon? H-has she fallen back onto her old habits?"
  3049. "It's…well…Starlight, she…she's…"
  3050. >"She's what, Anon? Whatever it is—we can handle it!"
  3051. >You brace yourself with a gulp before laying your predicament bare.
  3052. "She cuddles me every day."
  3053. >The words hang heavy in the air for several tense moments.
  3054. >"Um," Twilight finally verbalises.
  3055. >She folds up her wings, slightly slouching back in her chair.
  3056. >"Is…is that all?"
  3057. "Is that—"
  3058. >You blink.
  3059. "T-twilight, this is serious."
  3060. >Just like the topic at hand—your expression is also dead serious.
  3061. >Twilight scrunches her snout slightly, perhaps debating on how to address such dire circumstances.
  3062. >"But…but it's just cuddling, Anon. Aren't the two of you close?"
  3063. "C-close? Yes, sure. That's why I agreed to—but this has gone far beyond 'just cuddling,' Twilight."
  3064. >"I'm still failing to see the problem."
  3065. >She rests her chin on her hoof.
  3066. >"But hold on—what did you 'agree' to?"
  3067. "She—Starlight is a mare with certain…'cuddly' requirements. And I offered to…help her out with said requirements."
  3068. >"Okay. So two close friends are cuddling, and this is a problem because…?" she asks with a tinge of building irritation.
  3069. "You don't understand, Twilight. She doesn't just 'cuddle.' She snuggles, she nuzzles, she snoozles, she nestles, she huddles, she coddles—and she demands this several times a day."
  3070. >Twilight closes her eyes and sighs deeply.
  3071. >"Okay. Good for you—good for the both of you; now, is that all?"
  3072. "What? No! I'm at my wit's end, Twilight! I can't take this any more!"
  3073. >"If it's really that bad, then *why* did you 'agree' to cuddling her in the first place?"
  3074. "Because I thought it'd be fine, and it was, at first—just a snuggle or so every day…"
  3075. >Even simply recalling those once-fond memories causes your entire body to throb in fatigued pain.
  3076. "But…but as time went on, she kept asking for more and more cuddles; she was incessant in her intimacy, Twilight! INCESSANT!"
  3077. >Twilight merely facehooves, unable to comprehend or care for the torturous tribulations that you struggle through every day.
  3078. "And now, every time I close my eyes, I see her grinning face…I feel her invasive touch…I hear her coos of delight…"
  3079. >You dare not close your eyes, for you know that what you say is the truth.
  3080. >You are a broken man—cuddled to capitulation.
  3081.  
  3082. "She's in my dreams, Twilight. She's in my DREAMS."
  3083. >She rolls her eyes.
  3084. >"Look, it can't be *that* bad, Anon. It's just cuddling."
  3085. >You shake your head.
  3086. "You wouldn't be so dismissive of my plight if you knew how often we do it now; it's every—"
  3087. >The door to the study suddenly swings open; the barricades in front are effortlessly thrown to the side—scattered just like your hopes for extrication.
  3088. >Standing in the doorway is a lilac unicorn; her eyes glimmer with wide-eyed affection.
  3089. >It's her—
  3090. >Starlight Glimmer.
  3091. >"Anon! There you are!"
  3092. >Wasting no time, she quickly trots up to you with a bright smile on her face.
  3093. "S-starlight, you…you found me…aha…"
  3094. >She nuzzles into your side.
  3095. >"I've been looking *all* over for you, you know!"
  3096. "Looking all over—a-ah!"
  3097. >It happens in an instant: her horn glows; you lose your footing and tumble down to the carpeted floor—
  3098. >And Starlight quickly clambers on top of you, wrapping her forelegs around your torso and nuzzling your nose.
  3099. >What? No! Not here! You were so close to breaking free!
  3100. "W-wait, Starlight! The bihourly hour-long cuddle session isn't for another half-hour!"
  3101. >"Oh, I know…"
  3102. >She makes a brief frown—but it's quickly replaced with a gleeful smile.
  3103. >"Buuut I was feeling kinda lonely, so I decided to move it up! You don't mind, right?"
  3104. >There's no point in answering her; nothing you say will dissuade her from her current cuddly course.
  3105. >So instead, you call out to Twilight, who you can see out of the corner of your eye.
  3106. "Twilight, help!"
  3107. >Twilight still sits in her chair, looking down at the two of you.
  3108. >"Bihourly…hour-long…wow…" she mumbles to herself.
  3109. "Twilight!"
  3110. >She's right there!
  3111. >Why isn't she doing anything?!
  3112. >You're being non-consensually cuddled right before her eyes!
  3113. >Wait, she *is* doing something!
  3114. >She's…
  3115. >Levitating a notepad and pencil up to her front.
  3116. >"I'm sorry, Anon, but this needs to be recorded—for science!"
  3117. >All you can do is weakly reach an arm towards your saviour-turned-spectator.
  3118. >But it's all fruitless in the end; you are soon swept up within the lilac tides of love—powerless to resist.
  3119. >And so, this turned out to be a very informative and productive day.
  3120. >For Twilight Sparkle, that is.
  3121. >But for you, it was just another day of—
  3122. >Hugging Starlight Glimmer.
  3123.  
  3124. ***
  3125.  
  3126. - 37 - A Yandere Across Time [BORDERLINE] [MEME] - (10/05/24)
  3127. >Anonymous.
  3128. >Ah…
  3129. >Even the name makes you shiver.
  3130. >You love him.
  3131. >So very much.
  3132. >He's your special somepony—the light at the end of the tunnel.
  3133. >Your human.
  3134. >The two of you would spend your days in blissful togetherness—as mare and man.
  3135. >You were content.
  3136. >Until one horrid, eye-opening day.
  3137. >When a changeling assaulted your human RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES.
  3138. >That DISGUSTING BUG used YOUR form to try and STEAL HIM FROM YOU.
  3139. >Your retribution was swift.
  3140. >You OBLITERATED it, EVERY SINGLE TRACE—
  3141. >GONE GONE GONE.
  3142. >Nothing remained.
  3143. >And yet it still wasn't over.
  3144. >That CHITINOUS CRETIN showed its hoof when it went after your Anonymous.
  3145. >It attempted to feed off of his purest emotions—his love.
  3146. >Love that BELONGS TO YOU.
  3147. >And if one changeling thought that way…
  3148. >Then what was stopping the rest of them from following suit?
  3149. >Those WRETCHED INSECTS.
  3150. >As long as they were around YOU'LL NEVER BE SAFE.
  3151. >So—
  3152. >You decided to nip the problem in the bud.
  3153. >You are Starlight Glimmer—and you know how to travel back in time.
  3154. >So you did.
  3155. >You went back in time—
  3156. >To the source.
  3157. >And you burned down the rotten tree that they would all eventually spawn from.
  3158. >The embers of eradication that you witnessed that day paled in comparison to the raging inferno within your eyes—
  3159. >And the scorching ecstasy that surged throughout your body.
  3160. >Ah…!
  3161. >You made sure to consummate your victory as soon as you had returned to the present.
  3162. >And what a victory it was!
  3163. >You did the world a favour—those putrid parasites were more trouble than they were worth, anyway.
  3164. >Equestria was saved.
  3165. >He was saved.
  3166. >You were saved.
  3167. >Life continued on—bug free.
  3168. >And yet…ever since that incident…
  3169. >You had become so much more aware.
  3170. >Your eyes were sharper, your ears were more alert, and your nose smelled treachery.
  3171. >The blissful togetherness that you spent with your human soon became infested with disquieting background noise.
  3172. >Those pestiferous ponies that you were forced to live alongside—you were able to perceive their actions and intentions far more keenly.
  3173. >How could you NOT notice their stolen glances and idle gossip?
  3174. >And how could you NOT notice how it was all directed towards YOUR HUMAN?
  3175. >Those FILTHY WHORES.
  3176. >They were jealous.
  3177. >Jealousy begets action.
  3178. >If you refused to make the first move—they would.
  3179. >They would try to take your human.
  3180. >Those SLUTS don't DESERVE HIM.
  3181. >He's YOURS.
  3182. >So—
  3183. >You decided to nip the problem in the bud.
  3184. >Because you are Starlight Glimmer—and you know how to travel back in time.
  3185. >So you did.
  3186. >You went back in time—
  3187. >To the source.
  3188.  
  3189. >A well-placed kick or magical jolt was usually all it took.
  3190. >But like festering sores, the hazards to your peaceful life were plentiful.
  3191. >For each threat you stamped out—several more would make themselves known.
  3192. >Sometimes, the solution wasn't quite as elegant.
  3193. >You carried it out all the same.
  3194. >Other times, you couldn't stop at just one generation; no, you had to go further.
  3195. >But you were willing to go all the way back to the beginning of time itself for his sake.
  3196. >And you did.
  3197. >Because you knew that—no matter what—you'll always find your way back home.
  3198. >To him.
  3199. >You love him.
  3200. >So very much.
  3201. >There were times where your conscience would catch up with you—it would scream that your actions were WRONG and ABHORRENT.
  3202. >Thankfully, drowning out such words was a trifling matter.
  3203. >All you had to do was fall into his arms after you had finished snuffing out another threat to your blissful togetherness—and remind yourself exactly what it was you were fighting for.
  3204. >And so you kept fighting.
  3205. >That Wonderbolt who catcalled him? She'll never fly again.
  3206. >That noble from Canterlot who complimented his suit? Her entire family line—wiped from history.
  3207. >That visiting griffon who gave him a passing glance? Goodbye Griffonstone!
  3208. >Everypony. EveryCREATURE. EveryTHING.
  3209. >Haha…even the stallions.
  3210. >Nopony could be trusted.
  3211. >The ponies that you thought were your FRIENDS—
  3212. >They weren't.
  3213. >And now they'll never be.
  3214. >And then…and then…
  3215. >Ah.
  3216. >You did it.
  3217. >You finally did it.
  3218. >No more distractions.
  3219. >Just you and him.
  3220. >Mare and man.
  3221.  
  3222. >"Hey, Glimmy?"
  3223. >The soothing voice of your one and only snaps you back to the present.
  3224. >The two of you are seated on opposite sides of a table outside a cafe.
  3225. >Ponyville looks wonderful at this time of day.
  3226. >So peaceful.
  3227. "Yes, Nonny~?"
  3228. >"There's, um, something I've been meaning to ask; it's been bothering me for a while now."
  3229. "Hm? What is it?"
  3230. >"Well…"
  3231. >Anon looks around the area, seeing nary a soul but you and him.
  3232. >Then he looks back to you with a pensive frown.
  3233. >"Could there have been other ponies besides you who lived here at some point?"
  3234. "What? No…no, of course not!"
  3235. >You giggle.
  3236. "Why would you think that?"
  3237. >"It's just…it's kind of weird, isn't it? The fact that there's this whole village with shops and houses and schools and so on."
  3238. >His eyes drift towards an empty stall, and he chews his lip in thought.
  3239. >"But…it's always been just us here."
  3240. "Mm-hmm. Why, is there something wrong with that? We have the whole world to ourselves!"
  3241. >He shakes his head.
  3242. >"I'm fine with it. I've gotten used to it. But…what about you? Don't you find it strange?"
  3243. "What do you mean?"
  3244. >"Like I said, all of the buildings and furniture here: it's as if there was a thriving civilisation here at one point—one that feels like it was chugging along until very recently."
  3245. >He rests a hand on the table, rapping his delightful fingers along the surface.
  3246. >"But then it just…suddenly stopped—as if a great calamity washed over the land and claimed everyone's souls."
  3247. >He has such a way with words.
  3248. "Well that's certainly quite the theory."
  3249. >"Ahah…I suppose so."
  3250. >He scratches the back of his head.
  3251. >"That's all it is though, a theory. You're the only talking pony—or talking anything, really—that I've seen here. So…"
  3252. >He leans forward.
  3253. >You think he might be trying to put on a serious, interrogative look.
  3254. >But you just find his eyes super cute.
  3255. >"Since you've been in Equestria a lot longer than I have, I've gotta ask…are you really the only one who's ever lived here?"
  3256. "That's right!" You nod. "Just me!"
  3257. >"Ah. Right."
  3258. >He leans back, pursing his lips and looking to the side.
  3259. >"Then…you must have been really lonely before I came along."
  3260. "…Yeah…"
  3261. >Ouch. That one stung.
  3262. >Because he's right; you *were* very lonely before you met him.
  3263. >But…but now…
  3264. "But now I have you!"
  3265. >You lean forward and place both of your forehooves on his hand that's still resting on the table surface.
  3266. "As long as we're together, I don't care how empty the world is!"
  3267. >You flash him a smile—a wide one.
  3268. >You're very proud of your smile.
  3269. >It remembers so he doesn't have to.
  3270. >And when he sees your smile…
  3271. >He starts smiling too.
  3272. >Lovely smile.
  3273. >"Well…if it's fine with you, then it's fine with me. Love ya, Glimmy."
  3274. "Ehehehe~ love you, too~"
  3275. >And with that, the two of you enjoy a moment of blissful togetherness within this tranquil village.
  3276. >You love him.
  3277. >So very much.
  3278. >And now you have all the time in the world to show it.
  3279. [Bonus: Nonamenymous drew a piece of artwork inspired by this green https://files.catbox.moe/rr4d84.png ]
  3280.  
  3281. ***
  3282.  
  3283. - 38 - Ice Ice Glimmy [MEME] - (20/05/24)
  3284. ["-Glimmy casually summons the windigos to stave off the heat"]
  3285. >You are Anonymous, and you are SWEATING.
  3286. >Currently, you are sitting in your room.
  3287. >The fan's running; the magical AC is on; you're even fanning yourself with both hands—
  3288. >But it's still not enough.
  3289. >Your lungs are working overtime; the fluids are leaving your body faster than you can drink them; and your head is taking you to pound town.
  3290. >There's no doubt about it; a heat wave has taken a sweltering hold of this once-lukewarm land.
  3291. >Why, Celestia?
  3292. >Why must she punish Equestria so?
  3293. >Was it because you called her butt fat that one time?
  3294. >Or the several other times?
  3295. >After wiping an excess of natural coolant from your brow, you turn to the other individual in the room; she lies splayed across a bean bag.
  3296. >Like you, she's also in dire danger of death by dehydration.
  3297. "Ugh…Starlight…it's so hot…"
  3298. >She grumbles, staring up at the ceiling.
  3299. >"I knooow…"
  3300. >Being a pony that's covered from head to hoof in sweaty lilac fur—she's likely having an even worse time of it than you are.
  3301. "Don't you have any magic to cool us down? I'm dying over here."
  3302. >She swivels her head over in your direction and gives you a frown.
  3303. >"I do—and I am. I'm casting several cooling spells right now."
  3304. >She languidly twirls a forehoof around in the air above her head.
  3305. >"Want-it-Freeze-it… Calor Decelero… Snowmane's Refrigeration Spell…"
  3306. >She takes a few more panting breaths before addressing you.
  3307. >"Can't you see my horn doing the…magic thing?"
  3308. >You squint your eyes to focus on Starlight's horn.
  3309. >Sure enough, you can see a faint turquoise aura encircling her magical eye-poker.
  3310. >It is *very* faint, though; the translucent greenish haze surrounding her horn appears wavy and weak—as if it's merely a heat-induced mirage.
  3311. "Oh, right… I thought that the…glowiness was just a part of the heat wave."
  3312. >You sigh, wiping more pooling sweat from your brow.
  3313. "I'm too broiled to think straight."
  3314. >She groans.
  3315. >"Me too…"
  3316. >You grab a nearby bottle filled with woefully warm water and dunk the contents into your throat.
  3317. >The hydration you feel is momentary—but the desiccation you're experiencing is eternal.
  3318. "Are there really no spells that can ease our suffering? No magical creatures that you can summon to blow frozen mist or spit ice cubes?"
  3319. >You fully expect your complaints to evaporate into the thin air—just like how the rest of you will eventually go.
  3320. >Yet Starlight's ears perk up at your remarks, and you catch her mumbling to herself.
  3321. >"Magical…creatures…"
  3322. >She takes a slow, thoughtful blink.
  3323. >"Wait…"
  3324. >And then her eyes suddenly light up.
  3325. >"Oh…oh!"
  3326. >Starlight rolls off the bean bag and springs to her hooves, her stifled spirit having been rejuvenated by the soothing second wind of an insightful epiphany.
  3327. >"I know what I have to do!"
  3328. "You do? What—"
  3329. >She's out the door before you can finish.
  3330. >There she goes.
  3331.  
  3332. >It has been a few days since you last saw Starlight Glimmer.
  3333. >You have managed to catch up to her again in the midst of Ponyville.
  3334. >But things have changed.
  3335. >Because you are Anonymous, and you are…
  3336. >Freezing.
  3337. >You wear a thick winter coat to protect yourself from the elements; your equally thick boots have been given a thorough workout as you had to trudge through snow that's several inches deep just to get here.
  3338. >A harsh snowstorm buffets this once-sweltering village, turning all of the nearby buildings into seriously sizeable snow cones.
  3339. >Ghostly creatures gallop through the cloudy grey skies up above; their upper halves resemble that of a horse's, while their lower halves end in a spectral trail.
  3340. >They spit and spew streams of freezing cold air; each glacial gust they conjure up sends Ponyville into an even deeper blizzard.
  3341. "So, um, Starlight."
  3342. >"Oh! What is it, Anon?"
  3343. >Starstruck by the complete and total changeover of temperature that has transpired in just a few days—you only hope that the lilac mare in front of you has some answers.
  3344. "What happened here? And what are those things flying in the sky?"
  3345. >"Those helpful hauntings up above"—she raises a forehoof up to the sky—"are windigos! They're the reason everything here is so pleasantly chilly."
  3346. "'Pleasantly chilly,' right. I take it you brought them here? Used some kind of summoning spell to do it?"
  3347. >She nods.
  3348. >"Yep! But—oh, there are no spells that can summon windigos."
  3349. "What? Then how did you bring them here?"
  3350. >"Windigos are winter spirits that feed off the strife that brews between feuding factions."
  3351. >She lowers her hoof, firmly planting it elbow-deep in the ever-growing pile of snow.
  3352. >"So, in order to attract the windigos to Ponyville—I had to find a way to bring that strife all the way over here."
  3353. >You cross your arms and knit your brows.
  3354. "Uh, you brought the strife…over here?"
  3355. >"That's right! Turns out, all I had to do was sow massive amounts of distrust and discontentment within the populace of Ponyville and—viola!—windigos!"
  3356. >She beams with triumph after finishing her explanation.
  3357. >You blink at her a few times.
  3358. "You…you really pulled all that off in just a few days?"
  3359. >The blue unicorn stood next to Starlight suddenly makes her presence known, loudly clearing her throat and posing with pride.
  3360. >"Trixie helped!"
  3361. >You stare at Trixie.
  3362. "Oh."
  3363. >With no more words to speak aloud, you tilt your head upwards.
  3364. >The Harbingers of Equestria's End circle in the sky above.
  3365. >Everything and everyone that they breathe on becomes a frozen fixture, doomed to decorate this wintery wasteland as one of its many ice sculptures.
  3366. >The three of you will soon meet that very same fate.
  3367. >…
  3368. >But at least you're not sweating any more.
  3369.  
  3370. ***
  3371.  
  3372. - 39 - Glim Glam and Ice Cream [COMFY] - (21/05/24)
  3373. ["I want to eat ice cream with Glimmy!"]
  3374. >It's a hot summer's day; you and Starlight have just purchased two ice cream cones—one for each of you.
  3375. >And now, the two of you are sitting on a nearby park bench to enjoy them.
  3376. >Starlight's ice cream is one of clear excess—scoops upon scoops of many different flavours pile up to form a veritable tower of frozen delight.
  3377. >Every minor movement it makes as it floats in the air causes said tower to shudder and shake; if she wasn't holding the entire thing within her magic—it doubtless would've toppled over long ago.
  3378. >Owing to its sheer size, Starlight's imposing ice cream also casts a long dark shadow over your entire being—providing you with an unlikely source of cool shade.
  3379. >Licking her lips, Starlight moves to devour her frozen treat.
  3380. >Meanwhile, you enjoy your ice cream more humbly; you have one generously sized scoop of vanilla with a chocolate bar inserted into it.
  3381. >With your hand firmly grasping the wafer, you lick around the modest mass of chilled cream.
  3382. >The soft sweetness dances across your palate, pleasantly cooling your insides while the sweltering summer heat washes over your outside.
  3383. >And then there's the chunk of chocolate sticking out; as you take a hearty bite, the quickly melting cocoa mixes in with the lingering vanilla aftertaste to create a charming contrast of the two flavours.
  3384. >"Oh…" you hear Starlight's voice at your side.
  3385. >You tilt your head to see how she's doing, and she…
  3386. >…has completely decimated her spire of solidified sugar; only the wafer remains.
  3387. >Her gaze is fixed in your direction.
  3388. >And she's got that look—
  3389. >The "I want a piece of your ice cream but I'm too self-conscious to ask for it aloud" look.
  3390. >It's a look that you can identify from a mere glance on your end—as you are Ponyville's leading expert on all of the subtle nuances behind Starlight Glimmer's eye movements.
  3391. >Also, her mouth is salivating and her tongue is lolled out.
  3392. >So you hold out your ice cream to her.
  3393. "Want some of mine?"
  3394. >She gives you the "yes" look,
  3395. >the "yes" nod,
  3396. >and the "yes" licks.
  3397. >Starlight wastes no time in lapping up your gracious offering.
  3398. >She quickly shuffles closer to you, giving her ample access to a wide array of angles that she can attack your cone from.
  3399. >And with happy hums and closed eyes, she runs her tongue all over your frozen dessert, savouring every drop of creamy essence that finds its way down her throat.
  3400. >Every so often, her tongue dips low enough to slide over your hand, and she partially opens her persian blue eyes, making eye contact with you for just a brief second—
  3401. >—before closing them and going right back to enjoying your sweet treat.
  3402. >Passing bystanders witnessing this scene may be quick to assume that Starlight has just fleeced you out of your own ice cream.
  3403. >You would forgive them for their ignorance.
  3404. >For there are few out there who could possibly understand the pleasures of a pastel pony mlemming all over your cone.
  3405.  
  3406. ***
  3407.  
  3408. - 40 - The Taste of Glim [MEME] - (28/05/24)
  3409. ["What does Glim taste like?"]
  3410. >You see Starlight walking down the road.
  3411. "Man…I wonder what she tastes like," you whisper to yourself.
  3412. >She flash teleports in front of you.
  3413. >"Huh? You wanna know how I taste?"
  3414. >She's smiling at you with those big ol' eyes.
  3415. "…Yes."
  3416. >"Okay, here!"
  3417. >She raises one of her forelegs.
  3418. >Her horn glows.
  3419. >And she—
  3420. >Rips her foreleg off.
  3421. >Like, straight off.
  3422. >You hear a slight tearing sound as she does it, but there are no spurts of blood or screams of agony.
  3423. >Instead, there is but a furry nub where her limb once was—as if she never had a horse-arm there to begin with.
  3424. >Her detached foreleg is in front of you, hovering in the air like a video game collectible.
  3425. >You take it in your hands.
  3426. >"Tell me how it tastes too—I'm curious!"
  3427. "…Right."
  3428. >It's still writhing in your grasp.
  3429. >Well, in for a penny…
  3430. >You raise it up to your face and take a wide bite.
  3431. >Your teeth sink right in.
  3432. >Tastes like…
  3433. >grape
  3434. >And marshmallow.
  3435. >Grape marshmallow?
  3436. >Yeah.
  3437. >It's not bad.
  3438. >There are no bones.
  3439. >It's very chewy.
  3440. >Sticks to your teeth.
  3441. >And there's a strong floral aftertaste.
  3442. >Very strong.
  3443. >Strong enough to make you feel a little woozy.
  3444. >You massage your temple to cease the marshmallow-induced migraine.
  3445. "Hm."
  3446. >"So how is it?"
  3447. "You taste like grape marshmallow."
  3448. >She gasps.
  3449. >"I knew it!"
  3450. >She sits down on her haunches, entirely invested in watching you eat her severed limb.
  3451. >When you're just about finished eating her—she speaks up.
  3452. >"Hey."
  3453. >She raises her other foreleg.
  3454. >"Want the other one?"
  3455. >You stare at her for a few contemplative seconds.
  3456. "…Yes please."

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