Shoulder Talk


                                            Synopsis: Apple Bloom meets Philomena and they have a completely normal conversation.


                                            >You are Anonymous, currently walking down a road in Ponyville.

                                            >Apple Bloom is sitting on your shoulder, holding a foreleg around your neck to steady herself.

                                            >Applejack has asked you to foalsit Apple Bloom for the day, so you're stuck with her for the time being.

                                            >Not that you mind being around her; she's a very sweet filly, and since the two of you spend a lot of time together anyway—this is more of a formality than anything.

                                            >The two of you enjoy each other very much.

                                            >In a friendly way.

                                            >Yes. You and Apple Bloom share a completely platonic, above-the-books relationship; no lewdness here.

                                            >None at all.

                                            >In the distance, you notice someone else walking on the road in your direction—it's another human.

                                            >That's right—there's *another* human in Equestria besides you.

                                            >And he is also Anonymous.

                                            >You greet each other when you cross paths.

                                            "Hey, Mous."

                                            >"Yo, Anon."

                                            "How's it hanging?"

                                            >"Eh, you know, same old same old."

                                            >To make it easier on the pony populace, the two of you decided to go by different aliases.

                                            >You drew the long straw, so you got to be called "Anon," while he's called "Mous."

                                            >If a third guy ever shows up, you'll call him "Y," for "why the fuck are you here? Aren't two degenerates enough for this place?"

                                            >For you see—Mous *also* has a friendly face perched on his shoulder; it's a bird with fiery orange plumage.

                                            >If you're remembering your mythology right, then that bird is none other than a phoenix—a legendary avian with the ability to reincarnate.

                                            >You recall that Princess Celestia owns one such phoenix, and you also know that Mous spends most of his time over at the Royal Castle, so you figure that he's probably pet-sitting for the day.

                                            >Much like you and Apple Bloom, Mous and this phoenix likely have a similarly platonic relationship with one another, if the frequent nuzzling the bird gives to his cheek is any indication.

                                            >"Hiya Mister Mous! Hi Philomena!" Apple Bloom waves to the duo.

                                            >"Caw!" The phoenix—Philomena, raises a wing in greeting.

                                            >"How's the fancy life over at the castle?"

                                            >"Caw caw." Philomena nods.

                                            >Philomena turns to Mous and she (you think she's a she) gives him a few gentle wing pats on his nape.

                                            >"Caw, caw caw caw."

                                            >Apple Bloom giggles.

                                            >"Aw, you really like him, dontcha?"

                                            >"Caw caw!"

                                            >"Well, mah Anon here is no slouch either."

                                            >"Caw?"

                                            >"Eeyup! This guy right here knows how to make a filly feel wanted! An' he knows *all* the right buttons to press to get me right and ready!"

                                            >Wait, what are they talking about?

                                            >You shoot Mous a nervous look, and he gives you one of resignation.

                                            >"Caw caw!"

                                            >"He's a real gentlecolt he is, always knows how to set the pace. First, he slips a couple'a fingers down there to get me gushin'; then he works in the tongue, cleans me up nice an' good~"

                                            >Apple Bloom shifts her body around to lie on her belly along the length of your shoulder; she nuzzles against your face and straddles your shoulder blade, not-so-subtly grinding against it.


                                            >"He can go on like that for hours, Ah tell ya! It always comes down to me beggin' him to move on."

                                            >"Caw…?"

                                            >"That's right—that's when he pulls his pants down and shows off every farmfilly's wet dream: that *fat* dick of his~"

                                            >She licks her lips.

                                            >"Ah give him a few 'winks,' an' that gets him real riled up. Then he lines his raw meat up with mah pussy nice and gentle-like, an' goes in real slow; always making sure Ah won't get hurt."

                                            >You feel Apple Bloom winking against your shoulder as she humps it; she's really getting into this.

                                            >"Inch by inch, he slides that fat cock into me until…until he *hilts.*"

                                            >"Cacaw?!"

                                            >"Ah know, right? Ah was right surprised too when we first did it. Turns out mah body is stretchier then Ah thought!"

                                            >"Caw!"

                                            >Apple Bloom's eyes widen.

                                            >"Gosh! We got a lot more in common than Ah thought!"

                                            >You make the mistake of looking around the four of you.

                                            >Ponies continue to walk by; most of them try their best to ignore you, but the ones that don't are giving you dirty looks.

                                            "Um, Apple Bloom—"

                                            >She gives you a peck on the cheek.

                                            >"Not now, Anon! Ah'm getting to the real juicy bits!"

                                            >She turns back to Philomena.

                                            >"So as Ah was saying—once he gets right into *mah* juicy bits, that's when he gets *really* into it; he treats me like Ah'm his personal sextoy, ruttin' me into the sheets again and again. And…"

                                            >Her lips curl into a smirk.

                                            >"It's hot as *fuck.*"

                                            >Her humps against your shoulder increase in speed.

                                            >"So he'll be poundin' me right into the bed, pressin' his body right against mine, gruntin' like a pig in rut, an' he just keeps goin'! Goin' and goin' and goin'! Ah'll have came about four or five times at that point, an' that's when his thrusts get more ragged an' desperate."

                                            >You can hear her panting into your ear.

                                            >"Once he gets like that, it won't be much longer until he thrusts all the way in an' starts pumpin' me full of white-hot cum. He gushes it out like a garden hose, an' Ah can never hold all of it in. Some of it always spills out an' stains the sheets."

                                            >Her breath hitches as her own climax builds.

                                            >"An'…after he's done, he always makes sure to clean me up and call me his good little filly. You have no idea how much cum he pumps into me every week; he acts all composed but truth is, he's a total freak—a total freak for mah foal pussy. But he's…mm…he's *mah* freak… Ah~"

                                            >You feel a warm dampness on your shoulder as Apple Bloom vigorously rubs her snout against your face, lathering it in tiny, needy kisses.

                                            >"Phew… J-just give me a moment, wouldya?"

                                            >"Caw."

                                            >You and Mous have just been standing there, giving each other concerned, yet understanding glances.

                                            >Logically, you two should've parted ways long before this "conversation" got to this point.

                                            >But you can't—neither of you can. Perhaps it's just the shock of the situation, but this is like a train wreck that you can't look away from because you're standing in front of it and your feet are rooted in place.


                                            >"O-okay, Ah…Ah think Ah'm good now. Look at him, he ain't even denyin' any of this."

                                            >Apple Bloom gives you one more peck on the cheek before looking at Philomena.

                                            >"Oh! An' you know the best thing about all this?"

                                            >"Caw?"

                                            >"We do this every night!" Apple Bloom proudly smiles.

                                            >"Caw!"

                                            >"Wait, you too? No foolin'?"

                                            >"Cacaw!"

                                            >"Wow! So how's it like for you?"

                                            >"Caw caw caw."

                                            >"Yer…cloaca? Oh! That's the thing where both yer holes are in the same place, ain't it? Ah remember mah sis talking about that the other day!"

                                            >Philomena nods.

                                            >"Ya know, Ah've been wondering, how does Mister Mous even…fit in you? Ah've seen mah fair share of birds, but Ah never figured they could handle somepony his…size, if you get what Ah'm sayin'."

                                            >"Caw…caw caw caw."

                                            >"Oh! That makes a lot of sense!"

                                            >"Caw caw!"

                                            >"Wait, there's more?"

                                            >"Caw, caw…cacaw!"

                                            >"W-whoa! You ain't serious, are ya?"

                                            >"Caw caw."

                                            >"But how are you even…standin' after doin' somethin' like that?"

                                            >"Caw! Cacaw!"

                                            >"Oh! 'Cause you're a phoenix, ain't ya!"

                                            >"Caw!"

                                            >"Phooey, Ah wish Ah had your powers… There's a buncha stuff Ah've been wantin' to try with Anon but can't, for obvious reasons."

                                            >"Caw."

                                            >"What's that now?"

                                            >Philomena plucks some feathers out of her wing and extends it, holding them out to Apple Bloom.

                                            >"Caw, caw."

                                            >"Wait, really? An'…an' you're okay with just givin' me these?"

                                            >Philomena chirps.

                                            >"That's…that's so kind of you, Philomena! Anon, could you help me grab 'em, please?"

                                            >Wordlessly, you lean in towards Mous, and Apple Bloom grabs the plucked feathers.

                                            >"Thanks, Anon, and thanks, Philomena! Ah'll be sure to make good use of these! Next time we meet—Ah'll have even more stories to tell!"

                                            >"Caw caw!" Philomena waves a wing at Apple Bloom.

                                            >"Yeah! See you around!"

                                            >That's your cue, you guess.

                                            "U-um, bye…Mous. W-was nice talking with you."

                                            >"Y-yeah… Sa-same here…"

                                            >Mous stiffly walks off with Philomena still perched on his shoulder; you really shouldn't have looked, but you're pretty sure you can see her dripping onto his shoulder.

                                            >Apple Bloom gives you a few light taps to grab your attention.

                                            >"Hey, let's go back to yer house, Anon! Ah've got something Ah want to try in the bedroom."

                                            >She gives you a sultry smile and bites her lip.

                                            >You can't bring yourself to deny that look.

                                            >Because she's right—you *are* a total freak for foal pussy.

                                            "S-sure, alright."

                                            >Whatever she's got planned, you hope that Applejack never finds out about this.