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Close call

By poneponepone
Created: 2024-02-18 08:33:48
Updated: 2024-02-18 08:37:30
Expiry: Never

  1. 1.
    Originally posted 2015-03-11
  2. 2.
     
  3. 3.
    >wake up, look over at alarm clock, set for 8:00
  4. 4.
    >clock says 7:59. how does that happen so often?
  5. 5.
    >prospect of early morning aural assault triggers sudden rustling of jimmies
  6. 6.
    >reach over, cancel alarm in near panic
  7. 7.
    >*tick tock click* 8:00
  8. 8.
    *sigh*
  9. 9.
    >beat it
  10. 10.
    >get up
  11. 11.
    >shit shower shave pubes
  12. 12.
    >you ain't touching your face. you look good in your scruff, but you gotta keep your shit clean
  13. 13.
    >go downstairs
  14. 14.
    >hear knock before you can even get your eggs into boiling water
  15. 15.
    *sigh*
  16. 16.
    >may as well get it over with
  17. 17.
    >walk around counter to door
  18. 18.
    >opn door
  19. 19.
    >>i don't understand that
  20. 20.
    >fucking old school text interfaces
  21. 21.
    >opn door
  22. 22.
    >>i don't understand that
  23. 23.
    >fucking sticky e key. gotta quit jerking it at the computer
  24. 24.
    >open door
  25. 25.
    >"Um... good morning anon"
  26. 26.
    what is it hoverfearful?
  27. 27.
    >"well... um, i..."
  28. 28.
    spit it out. you think you know what my fetish is right?
  29. 29.
    >"i.. i hope so"
  30. 30.
    so what is it?
  31. 31.
    >"well, rarity said that i shouldn't listen to iron will. that i should just be myself. and since i'm not assertive, i should start small"
  32. 32.
    >...this is the first time you've heard her make sense
  33. 33.
    >her behaviour never seemed right up till now
  34. 34.
    >you had always half suspected she wasn't fully recolored after discord
  35. 35.
    >but this seemed like her
  36. 36.
    >after months of gross shit had left you with an esophagus scarred from repeatedly throwing up, you could barely believe your luck
  37. 37.
    >it's almost like you rolled hard dubs
  38. 38.
    >"so, um... anon, would you like to kiss me?"
  39. 39.
    >"with...tongue? *eep*"
  40. 40.
    >you can barely hear the last bit
  41. 41.
    >barely, but you did
  42. 42.
    >you never did like the psycho jaundicedwary
  43. 43.
    >but you liked fluttershy
  44. 44.
    >the kind, but painfully shy pegasus who cared about animals (helpless or otherwise) more than anypony
  45. 45.
    >...
  46. 46.
    >YOU MEAN ANYONE!
  47. 47.
    >fuck, you've been here too long
  48. 48.
    >and here she is. finally
  49. 49.
    >you've been alone for so long
  50. 50.
    >you've made good friends and all but
  51. 51.
    >you're so alone
  52. 52.
    >and here is a wonderful female who is clearly head over hooves for you
  53. 53.
    >wait... hooves
  54. 54.
    >...
  55. 55.
    >fuck
  56. 56.
    go away fluttershy, i ain't no horsefucker

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