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Close call

By poneponepone
Created: 2024-02-18 08:33:48
Updated: 2024-02-18 08:37:30
Expiry: Never

  1. Originally posted 2015-03-11
  2.  
  3. >wake up, look over at alarm clock, set for 8:00
  4. >clock says 7:59. how does that happen so often?
  5. >prospect of early morning aural assault triggers sudden rustling of jimmies
  6. >reach over, cancel alarm in near panic
  7. >*tick tock click* 8:00
  8. *sigh*
  9. >beat it
  10. >get up
  11. >shit shower shave pubes
  12. >you ain't touching your face. you look good in your scruff, but you gotta keep your shit clean
  13. >go downstairs
  14. >hear knock before you can even get your eggs into boiling water
  15. *sigh*
  16. >may as well get it over with
  17. >walk around counter to door
  18. >opn door
  19. >>i don't understand that
  20. >fucking old school text interfaces
  21. >opn door
  22. >>i don't understand that
  23. >fucking sticky e key. gotta quit jerking it at the computer
  24. >open door
  25. >"Um... good morning anon"
  26. what is it hoverfearful?
  27. >"well... um, i..."
  28. spit it out. you think you know what my fetish is right?
  29. >"i.. i hope so"
  30. so what is it?
  31. >"well, rarity said that i shouldn't listen to iron will. that i should just be myself. and since i'm not assertive, i should start small"
  32. >...this is the first time you've heard her make sense
  33. >her behaviour never seemed right up till now
  34. >you had always half suspected she wasn't fully recolored after discord
  35. >but this seemed like her
  36. >after months of gross shit had left you with an esophagus scarred from repeatedly throwing up, you could barely believe your luck
  37. >it's almost like you rolled hard dubs
  38. >"so, um... anon, would you like to kiss me?"
  39. >"with...tongue? *eep*"
  40. >you can barely hear the last bit
  41. >barely, but you did
  42. >you never did like the psycho jaundicedwary
  43. >but you liked fluttershy
  44. >the kind, but painfully shy pegasus who cared about animals (helpless or otherwise) more than anypony
  45. >...
  46. >YOU MEAN ANYONE!
  47. >fuck, you've been here too long
  48. >and here she is. finally
  49. >you've been alone for so long
  50. >you've made good friends and all but
  51. >you're so alone
  52. >and here is a wonderful female who is clearly head over hooves for you
  53. >wait... hooves
  54. >...
  55. >fuck
  56. go away fluttershy, i ain't no horsefucker

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