The Optimal Form


                                            Synopsis: You see that Maud over there? BAM she's human now; what are you gonna do about it?


                                            >It's another day in Equestria.

                                            >And another day as the only human.

                                            >Which means it's another day as the only human in Equestria.

                                            >Life is good.

                                            >You hear a pony knock on your door.

                                            >As the gracious (and singular human) host that you are, you walk over to your door to open it.

                                            >You open the door with your eyes shifted downwards, ready to greet whichever colourful quadruped that has deigned to visit your abode on this wondrous day.

                                            "Hey there—"

                                            >And instead of a pony—you see two grey, fleshy pillars; they're each tucked into a white sock which is tucked into a black boot.

                                            "Uh…"

                                            >Wait, those are legs—bipedal legs.

                                            >Has one of those diamond dog creatures come to visit you? The legs *are* grey…

                                            >Slowly, you trail your eyes up the form of your visitor.

                                            >Up the grey legs…

                                            >Up the torso covered in a blue frock…

                                            >And up to the grey, humanoid face staring at you with half-lidded, impartial eyes.

                                            >The…girl in front of you looks like a human, but also *not.*

                                            >Her skin is grey; her large, turquoise eyes take up nearly one third of her entire face; and her legs are ridiculously long for her body.

                                            >She stares at you—expressionless, silent.

                                            >You stare back, confused, perturbed.

                                            >And you break the silence.

                                            "What—who the fuck are you?"

                                            >"It's Maud. Maud Pie."

                                            "What? Maud? Really?"

                                            >She blinks at you; it's that slow, drawn-out blink that you've known Maud to do.

                                            >"Yes."

                                            >You do a double take; this being in front of you claims to be Maud, but you *know* that Maud doesn't look like…this.

                                            >Maud is an earth pony, not a humanoid.

                                            >But the longer you examine her, the more you can see the similarities to the pony you know.

                                            >Size aside, the blue frock she's wearing is an otherwise identical match to the one the pony wears.

                                            >Her turquoise eyes are backed by a generous amount of violet eyeshadow.

                                            >Her violet…hair is styled in a perfectly flat fringe—just like Maud.

                                            >And, of course, you can't forget the fact that she has shown zero reaction to you staring at her for a straight minute.

                                            "H-holy shit—it *is* you."

                                            >This isn't right—you're supposed to be the only human here!

                                            "But…why the *fuck* do you look like…that?"

                                            >"We spoke yesterday. Do you remember?"

                                            "Yeah, but you…I mean…"

                                            >"I took this form so that I can provide you with viable progeny."

                                            "Y-you took…this form?"

                                            >She nods.

                                            >"If we were to successfully engage in sexual intercourse right now, my body will eventually produce legitimate, fertile offspring."

                                            "U-um…"

                                            >What the hell did you two talk about?


                                            >To get some answers—it looks like you're going to have to enter…

                                            >FLASHBACK TIME.

                                            >The day is yesterday.

                                            >You're purchasing some emergency oats from the oat stall when Maud Pie suddenly comes up to you and asks:

                                            >"Do you want kids someday, Anon?"

                                            "Huh, Maud?" you sputter at her sudden intrusion.

                                            "Uh…I mean, I guess kids would be nice. I do think about it sometimes, but I'm the only human around here, you know? I can't have kids with ponies, so it's just gonna remain a pipe dream for me."

                                            >"I see."

                                            >She walks away, leaving you to purchase your oats in peace.

                                            >Later, Lyra mugs you at hornpoint for your oats.

                                            >Fucking Lyra.

                                            >END FLASHBACK TIME.

                                            "W-wait, so the reason you look like that…is so you can have kids with me?"

                                            >"Yes."

                                            >She raises both of her hands and rests them on the waistline of her frock.

                                            >"I'm ready to have sexual intercourse with you. Are you ready?"

                                            "I…uh…"

                                            >They say not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

                                            >But this isn't a gift horse—it's a gift human that was once a horse.

                                            >That is to say—something feels fishy about all of this.

                                            "Hold that thought, would you?"

                                            >"Okay."

                                            >You gently close the door.

                                            >Then, you tiptoe to the other side of your house.

                                            >You cautiously open your backdoor, walk out, and quietly close it behind you.

                                            >And then you make a break for it.

                                            >There's only one pony you know that could possibly have an inkling to what the fuck is going on.

                                            >So you sprint over to Sugarcube Corner.

                                            >You barge through the front doors, ignoring the little bell that signifies your entrance.

                                            >Positioning yourself in the middle of the shopfront, you scan the interior around you; you don't see anyone around.

                                            >She's not in this room, but you know she's gotta be around here somewhere.

                                            >There's only one thing to do; you take a deep breath…

                                            "PINKIE!" you shout at the top of your lungs.

                                            >"PIE!" a spirited voice replies.

                                            >A pink blur zooms out of a nearby doorway and stops on the other side of the shop counter.

                                            >Unblurred and poofed up pinkly, you recognise the pony manning the counter as none other than the party pony herself—Pinkie Pie.

                                            >She's still a pony, thankfully.

                                            >"Hi Nonny! What can I do you for?" She waves to you as you approach the counter.

                                            >Once you reach the counter, you slam your hands on the surface.

                                            "Pinkie, your freaky sister is freaking me the FUCK out."

                                            >"Which one?"

                                            "The grey one!"

                                            >She wordlessly tilts her head, maintaining her smile.

                                            "Shit—I mean, the rocky one!"

                                            >"How rocky…?"

                                            "Uh…the one that…that went to rock school and got a degree in the stuff!"

                                            >"Oh! You mean the one standing behind you right now?"

                                            "What the—"

                                            >You swivel around and see Maud Pie standing a few inches away from you.

                                            >She's still a "human," unthankfully.

                                            "FUCK!"

                                            >You instinctively stagger backwards, pushing yourself against the shop counter to create a modicum of personal space.

                                            >Yet you know such actions are ultimately futile—because you're stuck between a rock and a hard place.


                                            >"Hi Maud!" Pinkie exclaims from behind you.

                                            >"Hi Pinkie." Maud raises her hand up in greeting.

                                            "H-how did you…"

                                            >Your eyes briefly flick the side, remembering Pinkie's presence, and you suddenly become aware that announcing your attempt to abandon her sister at your doorstep probably isn't the best play here.

                                            "Um—know I was here?"

                                            >"Maud Sense."

                                            "U-uh huh…"

                                            >You shimmy along the side of the counter, moving away from the Pie Sister sandwich that you find yourself in.

                                            >Once you reach the end, you turn so that you have both Pinkie and Maud in your line of sight.

                                            >Then, you focus on Pinkie.

                                            "Pinkie, doesn't Maud look a little…off to you?" You flick your head towards Maud.

                                            >"Maud? Off?" Pinkie questions you.

                                            "You know, doesn't she look different? Like—completely?"

                                            >Pinkie squints.

                                            >"Hmm…"

                                            >She then turns her head to Maud and raises a hoof up to her chin in thought.

                                            >"…She does look a liiittle bit different, now that you mention it!"

                                            >Pinkie scans Maud's new form intently.

                                            >After a good ten seconds or so of Pinkie Prospection, she lets out a high-pitched "oh!" in realisation.

                                            >"Maud, did you restyle your mane?"

                                            >"Yes."

                                            >Maud runs a few fingers through her hair.

                                            >"I thought Anon might like it."

                                            >Pinkie looks back to you with a wide grin

                                            >"Aaand?" She wiggles her eyebrows at you.

                                            "Uh…yeah; it looks good."

                                            >Maud's eyes flick to the side and her mouthline curves upwards almost imperceptibly.

                                            "Wait—no! That's not the point!"

                                            >"Whaddya mean, Nonny?" Pinkie asks.

                                            >You circle around the shop counter, moving closer to Pinkie.

                                            "Pinkie, I think"—you lean in towards her, lowering your tone to a whisper—"your 'sister' might be a changeling."

                                            >"Maud's not a changeling, silly!"

                                            >Her complete lack of stealthy tact in her response makes you flinch.

                                            "W-well how the hell do you know if she's the real one, then?"

                                            >"Hm…" Pinkie puts on a serious expression.

                                            >Pinkie hops onto the shop counter and faces Maud, adopting a low stance.

                                            >She then suddenly launches herself at Maud, wrapping her legs around her and latching onto her chest like some kind of pink parasite; her face is eye-level with Maud's.

                                            >"Maud."

                                            >"Pinkie."

                                            >"On your eighth birthday, what did I bake you?"

                                            >"Twelve pumpkin bread muffins. Each of them had a piece of rock candy sticking out from the top; six were pink, while the other six were blue.

                                            >"And on the twelfth Hearth's Warming Eve we spent together on the Rock Farm, where did I hide your present?!"

                                            >"It was halfway buried into the ground deep within the crystal mine, directly underneath the trio of stalactites coloured in your exact shade of pink."

                                            >"Aaand what was the seventy-fourth party that I threw in your name?!"

                                            >"Trick question. You threw two 'seventy-fourth' parties for me; one was for when I got accepted into Rock University, and the other was for celebrating mine and Boulder's fifth rockaversary."

                                            >"Ooh you're gooood…"


                                            >Pinkie unlatches off of Maud and springs backwards onto the counter.

                                            >She then turns to you with a smile.

                                            >"Yep, this is *definitely* Maud."

                                            "But then how do you explain her suddenly doubling in size and walking on two feet?!"

                                            >"Iunno—growth spurt?" Pinkie shrugs.

                                            "G-growth spurt…?"

                                            >You rub your forehead and sigh in exasperation; maybe you should've gone to Twilight for this.

                                            >Maud walks over to the side of the shop counter where you are at; she glances at Pinkie.

                                            >"Pinkie—Anon and I are going to borrow your bedroom."

                                            >"Okie dokie!"

                                            "Wait—we WHAT?"

                                            >In one surprisingly swift motion—Maud crouches down and sweeps your legs with an arm, taking you off-balance.

                                            "Ah!"

                                            >Before you can hit the ground, Maud wraps one arm under your legs and another around your back, supporting you.

                                            >You find yourself rising upwards, being held up by Maud's frighteningly-strong upper-body strength.

                                            >Once your ascent stops, you look up to see Maud gazing down at you, and you realise that she's holding you in a bridal carry.

                                            "U-uh, Maud…"

                                            >"Let's go."

                                            >Maud begins to walk towards one of the doorways leading deeper in Sugarcube Corner, carrying you with her.

                                            "P-pinkie, help!"

                                            >Pinkie gasps.

                                            >"You want *more* help? Nonny, you sly stallion, you!"

                                            >Pinkie disappears from your line of sight as Maud carries you into a different room.

                                            "No, that's not what I—ah!"

                                            >Your cries for help are cut short as Maud carries you up a set of stairs.

                                            >Instinctively, you find yourself wrapping your arms around Maud in a desperate bid to not fall.

                                            >One of your hands finds its way onto her chest—her soft, well-endowed chest.

                                            >It's a bumpy ride—in more ways than one.

                                            >Maud, of course, shows no reaction to your Gadarene groping.

                                            >And for your part, you find yourself strangely unwilling to let go of her tantalising flesh, clothed as it may be.

                                            >Eventually, Maud takes you up to the upper floor; it's a large, open room with another set of stairs leading higher up to a passageway with a liquorice-themed railing.

                                            >You see a bed and all manners of other furniture; as there are colourful balloons hanging off each and every one of them—you assume that this is Pinkie's bedroom.

                                            >Maud walks over to the bed and drops you onto its springy surface.

                                            "Oh!"

                                            >Laying with your back to the mattress, you sit up on the bed's edge to look at Maud.

                                            >She takes a few steps back and kicks off her boots; after that, she takes off her socks, depositing both kinds of footwear to the side.

                                            >She then removes her frock, gently setting it down on the floor.

                                            >As it turns out, that frock was the only thing covering her body and…wow.

                                            >She might not be the kind of human you remember, but she's human where it counts.


                                            >You gaze upon her exposed, perky breasts in nostalgic awe; they're a C-cup, you think.

                                            >Her limbs may look thin and frail, but you've witnessed first hand the hidden strength that lies within her frame.

                                            >And it's those limbs that help her cut a thin, hourglass form; though you note that she still has an ample amount of curvature where it counts.

                                            >And between her thighs, you catch a glimpse of her flower, and just above that…

                                            >You do a double take, it's been a while since you've seen something like this, considering ponies usually have fur everywhere.

                                            >But you can safely say that the carpets match the drapes.

                                            "D-damn…"

                                            >Fuck, you haven't seen another human in so long.

                                            >Even if she's weirdly proportioned, has grey skin, and has eyes that are way too big for her skull—her naked form is doing it for you.

                                            >You take a deep breath before addressing her.

                                            "Okay—fine, you win. We'll bang, okay?"

                                            >She nods and saunters over to you, accentuating her hip sway.

                                            >Her movements are a little clumsy, as if she's exaggeratedly following a set of movements that she read in a book somewhere, but you find it kind of cute.

                                            >And it's not like you need any further help to get in the mood.

                                            >Once she stands directly in front of you—she leans in, slowly, tantalisingly inching closer and closer towards you.

                                            >She straddles your lap, wrapping her arms and legs around your back.

                                            >You can feel your own erection rubbing against her labia.

                                            >Her head moves closer to yours, and once she's close enough—she quickly closes the rest of the distance, kissing you.

                                            "Mmph!"

                                            >While Maud herself puts up a dispassionate front, her tongue displays no such restraint; it rushes into your mouth like a landslide, dancing around your own tongue and teasing it into a duet, and you oblige.

                                            >Your mouths intertwine together, prompting a hot, wet exchange of slick saliva and warm breath between the two of you.

                                            >As you continue to make out with Maud, she reaches up a hand to caress your cheek.

                                            >And you caress hers in return.

                                            >Eventually, and perhaps agonisingly, the two of you pull back from each other, leaving but a thin trail of saliva connecting your mouth with hers.

                                            >After taking a moment between the both of you to catch your breath, you address her.

                                            "D-damn, you're good—oh!"

                                            >She suddenly grinds her nether regions against yours.

                                            >"It's time."

                                            "W-whoa, no foreplay?"

                                            >"You are already hard."

                                            >Her lips upturn ever-so slightly.

                                            >"Like a rock."

                                            >As you feel yourself firmly pressing against her, you are hard-pressed to agree.

                                            "…Point taken."

                                            >Maud rests her hands on your shoulders as she slowly lifts her rump, shuffling forward to position herself directly over your rod.

                                            >And she cautiously brings herself down onto you.

                                            >The both of you exhale in unison as you plunge deeper and deeper within her tight depths.

                                            >"A-ah…"

                                            >Maud suddenly stiffens up, halting her movements.


                                            "Maud, you alright?" you whisper to her, caressing her cheek once more.

                                            >"I…"

                                            >She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes.

                                            >"Yes. I'm okay."

                                            >After a few seconds, she opens her eyes, and they settle on yours.

                                            >"Can you take over? I need some time."

                                            >You nod, removing your hand from her face and resting it on her rump.

                                            "You got it. I'll go slow, alright?"

                                            >She takes her hands off of your shoulders and wraps them around your back, holding on tight.

                                            >"Thank you."

                                            >After taking a deep breath of your own, you move your other hand up to her rump, taking a firm, but gentle hold of her cheeks.

                                            >Then, you slowly begin to slide her up and down your member.

                                            >Maud makes cute, barely-audible breathless gasps as you do so.

                                            >You continue to gently bounce her atop your lap at a steady pace, making sure that she's as comfortable as possible; after all, you're sure that this entire experience is a new sensation for her—in more ways than one.

                                            >As you settle in a loving rhythm, you gaze upon her body—of how you slowly exit and enter her, and how her breasts tantalising sway from side to side with each pump.

                                            >Such tantalisation steadily begins to take hold of you, and you find yourself leaning in towards those grey orbs.

                                            >As you do so, one of your hands trails up her back, resting against the back of her torso.

                                            >It doesn't take much longer before you fully bury your face into those mounds, pressing her torso against your head to bury yourself even deeper into her rack.

                                            >She might be all about rocks, but these spheres are pleasantly soft.

                                            >You rub your face across each breast from side to side, enjoying the feeling of these godly pale pillows.

                                            "God, I missed these…"

                                            >You feel one of Maud's hands rest against the back of your head, gently pressing against you.

                                            >"They'll increase in size once I become pregnant."

                                            >Her lusty monotone sends shivers of satisfaction throughout your body.

                                            "Mm…keep talking…"

                                            >"Once I give birth, the increased production of prolactin within my body will stimulate the production of milk."

                                            >You move your face up to one of her greyish nipples and give it a suckling kiss; this elicits a light gasp from her.

                                            >"Not only that, but the size of my mammaries will continue to grow with each successful pregnancy."

                                            >She positions her mouth right up to one of your ears and gently whispers.

                                            >"I plan on having a lot of kids."

                                            "Ah…"

                                            >Using just the one hand to languidly bob her body up and down atop yours, you lavish her breasts with the utmost affection.

                                            >From licks to kisses to suckles; she may not be producing milk quite just yet, but you're more than happy to help her body get used to the sensation of breast feeding before the real deal.


                                            >After you feel that you've sufficiently savoured her tits for the time being, you move your head away from those wondrous mounds and address Maud.

                                            "I'm thinking of changing position; you alright with that?"

                                            >"Yes."

                                            >With her approval, you hold her tightly while you swivel around so that you face the bed.

                                            >You then gently lay her down on the soft mattress, belly-side up.

                                            >With your dick still lodged in her, you lean in towards her, resting your arms on the bed.

                                            "I'm gonna increase the pace."

                                            >"Okay."

                                            >Giving her some time to adjust, you gently buck your hips up against hers, moving in and out.

                                            >You maintain eye contact with her all the while, watching her breathlessly pant in response to your gentle missionary.

                                            >As you pick the pace, so does she pick up the frequency of her panting.

                                            >And over time, your delicate humping becomes frenzied rutting as you furiously drive yourself in and out of her.

                                            >Yet despite your best efforts, you still aren't able to elicit a full-out moan from her, so you slow down your thrusts and question her.

                                            "Is it…hah…good for you, too?"

                                            >"I am experiencing the height of both sexual pleasure and intimacy right now."

                                            "R-really? That's…hah…good to know…"

                                            >Your confidence renewed, you pick up the pace once more.

                                            >As you do, you slowly move one of your hands up to one of hers.

                                            >You rest your palm against hers…

                                            >And you grip it tightly, interlocking your fingers.

                                            >"Ah…"

                                            >You grin; that's as good a reaction as any.

                                            >"Anon."

                                            "Y-yeah?"

                                            >"My culmination is approaching."

                                            "F-fuck, I think mine is, too."

                                            >You brace yourself as the breeding bash between the only two humans in Equestria draws to a close, tempering your thrusts.

                                            >Maud, on the other hand, suddenly wraps her legs around you, pulling you in and forcing you to hilt deep inside her.

                                            "W-wha—your legs…!"

                                            >"This is to ensure fertilisation."

                                            "H-hah…!"

                                            >You're pretty sure the word "fertilisation" is what sent you over the edge.

                                            >You let out a deep grunt as you blast load after load within her in what is going to the first of many steps in the long and hard journey to repopulate humanity.

                                            >Maud's own peak can be thoroughly felt as she flexes around your length and squirts all over your pelvis, coating it in human-flavoured Maud juice

                                            >Of course, in typical Maud fashion—her decidedly neutral expression is only betrayed by the slightest hint of perspiration across her forehead.

                                            >Her grip on your loins is rock steady, but it's not like you'd ever consider pulling out of her even for a moment.


                                            >Several life-giving loads later, you can feel yourself softening and her leg-lock weakening.

                                            >You pull out and flop onto the bed, lying next to her.

                                            "T-that was…amazing."

                                            >Maud rests her hand on your cheek, turning your head to face hers.

                                            >"You rocked my world."

                                            >She smiles at you; it's still a faint smile on the smile scale, but it's the biggest one you've seen from her today.

                                            >You smile back as the two of you lay on the bed together.

                                            >A sense of clarity slowly comes to you through the afterglow.

                                            >Where do you even go from here?

                                            >You've lived in Equestria as the sole human for so long, and now there's suddenly another one—a female, at that.

                                            >Not only that, but she used to be a pony, too—one you've known for quite a while.

                                            >What are the implications of everything that has happened today?

                                            >Do all of the ponies here have the latent ability to humanize themselves?

                                            >Or is it just a Maud thing?

                                            >Moreover, just how *many* children will the two of you have to have in order to rebuild mankind in this horsey horse world?

                                            >Hell, is it even possible for the two of you to secure a future for humanity by yourselves?

                                            >With all these questions racing through your mind, you might as well ask them to the only other human here.

                                            "So…uh…what now, Maud?"

                                            >She sits up.

                                            >"My work is done for now, but much like the limestone that's currently holding this building together, your job is far from over."

                                            "M-my job? What job?"

                                            >"Your job to repopulate humanity."

                                            "W-what do you mean? We're the only humans here, aren't we…?"

                                            >At that moment, another humanoid launches herself off of the upper floor railing and lands a short distance away from the bed.

                                            >The humanoid is naked and female; she has bright pink skin, and poofy pink hair.

                                            >She places her hands on her hips and strikes a playful pose in front of you two.

                                            >"Did somepony order a Pinkie Creampie? Because I know I diiid!"

                                            >…Ah, fuck.