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Ponyville's Interspecies Cultural Exhibit

By ffanon
Created: 2024-02-26 22:26:11
Updated: 2025-03-19 05:01:07
Expiry: Never
anoncelestiacomedyanonymousprincess celestiaaieponyvillebullystatisticsbullyingsex jokes

  1. 1.
    >The entire town of Ponyville is gathered at the town hall
  2. 2.
    >Anon stands at the podium on stage next to Mayor Mare
  3. 3.
    >"Welcome ponies of Ponyville. Thanks for joining us here today for our bi-annual interspecies cultural exhibit. Anon will be our honorary host and will be sharing about humans."
  4. 4.
    >Mayor Mare steps aside and allows you to take her place behind the podium
  5. 5.
    Hi, I'm Anon. Some of you know me by now but this is my first time doing one of these interspecies exhibits. I think last time it was about hippogriffs? Anyway, allow me to break the ice.
  6. 6.
    >Anon loosens his collar
  7. 7.
    This is a game where I'll be telling fun facts about some of you ponies in town, especially the mares
  8. 8.
    >You give a sly wink to Cheerilee who is blushing in the front row
  9. 9.
    Where did I get these juicy tidbits? Who knows, maybe I pulled them out of my ass.
  10. 10.
    >some of the crowd laughs, some rolling their eyes
  11. 11.
    >they've already experienced brashness and lack of etiquette from some of the other races in prior exhibits.
  12. 12.
    Alright! Let's begin!
  13. 13.
    >Anon unravels a scroll of aged parchment
  14. 14.
    >He reaches into his chest pocket and pulls out a monocle which he adorns
  15. 15.
    Twilight Sparkle! You are up first.
  16. 16.
    >All heads turn to Twilight for a moment as she smiles awkwardly.
  17. 17.
    Ah, here it is. Twilight has eaten 186 hayburgers so far this year.
  18. 18.
    >some more laughter from the crowd
  19. 19.
    >Twilight is slinking down in her chair smiling even more awkwardly and blushing
  20. 20.
    Next, Cheerilee! She's distributed 66 pencils to students this school year
  21. 21.
    >some of the crowd claps
  22. 22.
    >Anon continues
  23. 23.
    Pinkie Po!
  24. 24.
    >"It's Pinkie Pie!"
  25. 25.
    Ah, yes of course. Anyway, let's see. She's had 13 food fetish related orgasms in the past month.
  26. 26.
    >the crowd is silent at this one, with a few murmurings
  27. 27.
    >Pinkie has a large smile plastered on her face pretending to be oblivious
  28. 28.
    >noticeable beads of sweat are forming on her forehead
  29. 29.
    Well that's certainly something. Next is Spike! He's masturbated 204 times to Twilight since he was hatched.
  30. 30.
    >Spike spits out his juice that he was slurping through his straw, spraying the stallion in front of him
  31. 31.
    >"Hey, what's the big idea"
  32. 32.
    >Spike apologizes and looks down at the ground avoiding Twilight's judgmental gaze
  33. 33.
    >Twilight, who is right next to him, is starting to get a bit frazzled now
  34. 34.
    >She's known about Spike masturbating to her, but she wasn't expecting other ponies to find out, let alone the whole town
  35. 35.
    Not bad little guy, but let's get those numbers up!
  36. 36.
    >Anon takes a sip of water from the glass on the podium
  37. 37.
    Ahem.
  38. 38.
    >Anon clears his throat while smiling into the crowd
  39. 39.
    Applejack!
  40. 40.
    >Applejack cringes in anticipation as she hears her name being called
  41. 41.
    She's bucked 10,946 apples just this year alone. What a hard working mare!
  42. 42.
    >Applejack sighs in relief and relaxes
  43. 43.
    >some ponies start to clap, feeling a bit more comfortable now
  44. 44.
    Next is our favorite mailmare in town, Derpy!
  45. 45.
    >Derpy is smiling like she just won an award
  46. 46.
    She's eaten 5,998 muffins in the past year. Folks, that's over 16 muffins a day. Impressive stuff.
  47. 47.
    >there's a mixture of laughter and clapping from the crowd
  48. 48.
    >"Muffins!"
  49. 49.
    >Derpy beams with pride as she looks around at everyone
  50. 50.
    Okay, next we have Big Mac.
  51. 51.
    >Applejack is once again looking nervous
  52. 52.
    >But Big Mac is as stoic as ever
  53. 53.
    >Anon raises the parchment closer to his monocle
  54. 54.
    It says here that Big Mac has had a total of 19 different lovers. Sheep lovers.
  55. 55.
    >some of the crowd laughs
  56. 56.
    >Big Mac's face turns even more red somehow as he avoids AJ's furious glare
  57. 57.
    Onto the next. Rarity!
  58. 58.
    >Rarity is nervous as anything but plays it cool, or at least tries to
  59. 59.
    Ms. Fashion has engaged in 471 orgies. Now that's a lot of cock!
  60. 60.
    >Her jaw drops and she covers her face with a combination of her hoof and an oversized fancy hat
  61. 61.
    >there's lots of whispering in the crowd
  62. 62.
    >several stallions are blushing now too
  63. 63.
    Next. Mr. Cake!
  64. 64.
    >He smiles nervously as he holds Mrs. Cake's hoof
  65. 65.
    He's baked 131 cakes in the past month. Now that's a lot of cake!
  66. 66.
    >there is some applause from the gathered ponies
  67. 67.
    Now for Mrs. Cake.
  68. 68.
    >Anon once again adjusts his monocle
  69. 69.
    She's cheated on Mr. Cake for a whopping total of 383 times. Yikes, must suck to be Mr. Cake!
  70. 70.
    >Mrs. Cake tries to whisper something to Mr. Cake but he starts to walk away from the crowd which then turns into a quick trot
  71. 71.
    >He was aware of her infidelity, he just wasn't expecting that high of a number
  72. 72.
    >Mrs. Cake runs after him
  73. 73.
    >"Honey buns, wait! I can explain!"
  74. 74.
    >the remaining ponies sit there in awkward silence
  75. 75.
    Hey, why the long faces?
  76. 76.
    >no pony laughs at the joke
  77. 77.
    Tough crowd. Anyway, next on our list is the mare right next to me. Give it up for Mayor Mare!
  78. 78.
    >there is some applause at the mention of the mayor
  79. 79.
    This mare has spent the past 9 estrus cycles alone and unsatisfied.
  80. 80.
    >Mayor Mare's face turns bright red
  81. 81.
    >"Anon.. that's um because..well.."
  82. 82.
    >You walk over to her, putting your finger on her lips to shush her
  83. 83.
    >you whisper into her ear that you will stop by her house after the exhibit
  84. 84.
    >she nods silently as she continues to blush
  85. 85.
    >you can see her winking as she heads off the stage
  86. 86.
    Next on the list is Rainbow Dash!
  87. 87.
    >"Yeah! Go me!"
  88. 88.
    >Dash pumps her hoof in the air
  89. 89.
    >Twilight just rolls her eyes
  90. 90.
    Okay it says here that you lost 11 races.
  91. 91.
    >"WHAT!?"
  92. 92.
    >Dash zooms to the podium in an instant and pushes her hoof into your shoulder
  93. 93.
    >"Where did you get this crap anyway? Nevermind. You are lame, this whole exhibit is lame."
  94. 94.
    >Dash flies off in a huff
  95. 95.
    Ahem. Continuing.
  96. 96.
    >You smooth out your shirt where Dash rustled it
  97. 97.
    Next is Berry Punch.
  98. 98.
    >She's already drunk but at least she made it to the event
  99. 99.
    She's inserted 18 bottles into her vagina over the years which led to the need for medical intervention
  100. 100.
    >Nurse Redheart shakes her head, recalling some of the procedures
  101. 101.
    >Berry Punch just takes another swig of her bottle, not phased and in her zone
  102. 102.
    Well this is surely getting interesting.
  103. 103.
    >You take another sip of water before reading off the scroll
  104. 104.
    Limestone Pie, you're up.
  105. 105.
    >she has her hooves crossed and gives you a look that's says: if you embarrass me you die
  106. 106.
    It states here that she harvested 15 rare gems so far this year. That might even be a new record!
  107. 107.
    >with a smug grin she flips her mane to the side as she revels in the applause
  108. 108.
    And now for her sister, Marble Pie. She is an avid plushie collector and has 20 Big Mac plushies that she knitted herself. That’s commitment!
  109. 109.
    >Marble buries her face in her hooves
  110. 110.
    >Big Mac looks over at her confused
  111. 111.
    And now for the element of kindness, Fluttershy!
  112. 112.
    >She does her best to hide in her chair
  113. 113.
    She's been a meanie head for a total of 17 times. Who would have thought!
  114. 114.
    >"Oh no, that can't be...no no no."
  115. 115.
    >No pony can hear Fluttershy as she whispers to herself freaking out
  116. 116.
    >she begins to hyperventilate
  117. 117.
    >"I would never be mean...no not me...
  118. 118.
    >her eye twitches as she quietly rambles to herself
  119. 119.
    Next up, Granny Smith. She's given 29 blowjobs so far this year. Age is just a number, anyone? Confirmed!
  120. 120.
    >Applejack and Big Mac look at each other in disgust
  121. 121.
    >there are several gasps in the audience
  122. 122.
    >"eh'ha what now? somepony say my name?"
  123. 123.
    >Granny raises a hoof to her ear
  124. 124.
    >Big Mac quickly looks away from AJ as he realizes she's still pissed at him over the sheep ordeal
  125. 125.
    Next up, Lyra!
  126. 126.
    >She's looking at you and smiling
  127. 127.
    She's stalked humans on at least 6 different occasions
  128. 128.
    >you laugh shakily as you realize you are the only human
  129. 129.
    >she's still staring at you smiling
  130. 130.
    Um... anyway. Moving on.
  131. 131.
    >you loosen up your collar more and pull your tie down slightly
  132. 132.
    >taking another drink of water, you continue reading the scroll
  133. 133.
    Thank you all for your patience, we are almost done with the ice breaker. My exhibit will primarily be about the extraordinary and incredible human stamina.
  134. 134.
    >you can see the confused look of some faces
  135. 135.
    I'm talking about sex people. Specifically how the human penis functions and how that's important knowledge for mares
  136. 136.
    >Cheerilee is blushing heavily while looking at you with lidded eyes
  137. 137.
    >you make a mental note to talk with her before your "appointment" with Mayor Mare
  138. 138.
    Next up is none other than The Great and Powerful Trixie! Please give her a round of applause.
  139. 139.
    >the crowd reluctantly complies and claps slowly
  140. 140.
    >Trixie is all in for the attention
  141. 141.
    >"It's about time Trixie was noticed for something"
  142. 142.
    The scroll says that Trixie has taken it in the butt 679 times. Wow!
  143. 143.
    >some of the crowd bursts out in laughter
  144. 144.
    >Trixie sits there in shock
  145. 145.
    >even Twilight is giggling
  146. 146.
    The Great and Powerful Ass, am I right?
  147. 147.
    >more laughter from the crowd
  148. 148.
    >Trixie tries to say something but it just comes out as a weird gargle as she begins to cry
  149. 149.
    >she runs away from the crowd to her wagon
  150. 150.
    >Twilight sighs and walks off to go check on her
  151. 151.
    >you wait for the crowd to calm down before going down the list
  152. 152.
    >you check your watch and notice that you already blew enough time with the ice breaker segment
  153. 153.
    >you still need to save a good hour for the actual exhibit
  154. 154.
    Last but certainly not least, Princess Celestia!
  155. 155.
    >as if on cue Celestia teleports right next to you on the stage
  156. 156.
    >you never quite got used to that feeling of pure magic in the air buzzing your senses.
  157. 157.
    >"Anonymous, I need to speak to you"
  158. 158.
    >Celestia addresses you firmly but with a smile
  159. 159.
    >She then faces the crowd of ponies
  160. 160.
    >"Greetings ponies of Ponyville. I apologize for the sudden intrusion"
  161. 161.
    >the ponies near the front of the stage bow to her
  162. 162.
    >"No need for that please, this is an informal visit. I just need to speak with the human"
  163. 163.
    >With horn glowing, she turns around and the scroll slips out of your hands levitating towards the monarch
  164. 164.
    >you give her a big smile with a short bow
  165. 165.
    Princess, how nice to see you here. Come for the exhibit?
  166. 166.
    >she puts up a small magic bubble around the both of you serving as a sound barrier
  167. 167.
    >her smile now replaced with a stern look
  168. 168.
    >"Anon, you thieving little monkey. You bang my brains out and then leave in the middle of the night! You know how much I was looking forward to a hoof massage this morning."
  169. 169.
    My Queen, allow me to-
  170. 170.
    >"Silence! You also took off with one of my magical scrolls!"
  171. 171.
    Oh, so I did. I've had quite a bit of fun with it. Your line on there was interesting by the way. Want to hear what it was?
  172. 172.
    >She rolls her eyes
  173. 173.
    >"Fine, what was it"
  174. 174.
    >smirking smugly, you clear your throat
  175. 175.
    The royal bakery has delivered 2,227 full sheets of cake to your bed chambers...
  176. 176.
    >her face turns red and she slightly lowers her head looking away from you
  177. 177.
    >"That's absurd, I've never heard of something more absolutely untrue and rid-
  178. 178.
    >you cut her off
  179. 179.
    ...in the past month.
  180. 180.
    >"Nonsense!"
  181. 181.
    >Oh, she's fired up now
  182. 182.
    Hey, there's nothing wrong with that. You are a pretty princess and deserve all the cake
  183. 183.
    >She raises her head and looks you in the eyes
  184. 184.
    >"...do you mean it?"
  185. 185.
    Of course I do. If we didn't have an audience I'd give you a big hug, and a smooch
  186. 186.
    >she blushes a little bit at that
  187. 187.
    >"Fine. I won't stay mad at you. But, hoof massage tonight."
  188. 188.
    Of course my lady.
  189. 189.
    >tips imaginary fedora
  190. 190.
    >another poof and she's gone, along with the scroll
  191. 191.
    >that's fine you were ready to start the exhibit anyway
  192. 192.
    >the crowd of ponies look at you even more confused than before
  193. 193.
    Ahem. Sorry for the interruption, I had important matters to discuss with our Princess.
  194. 194.
    >the ponies look at you with a bit more respect after witnessing your mute interaction with Celestia
  195. 195.
    >Twilight runs up onto the stage slightly out of breath
  196. 196.
    >"Anon! I heard that Princess Celestia was here, where is she?"
  197. 197.
    Ah, sorry Twilight you just missed her. I think you were with Trixie
  198. 198.
    >Twilight hoofs herself in the forehead
  199. 199.
    >"darnit, well what did she want?"
  200. 200.
    It was a personal matter, but I really do need to get on with the exhibit
  201. 201.
    >You point to your watch
  202. 202.
    >Twilight just now realizes she's on stage blabbering away
  203. 203.
    >with an embarrassed grin she walks off
  204. 204.
    >you take the curtain off the display board that was sitting on stage
  205. 205.
    >it's a bunch of crude drawings of a human performing lewd acts with mares
  206. 206.
    Alright. We will now begin the examination of human stamina and how it may benefit you.
  207. 207.
     
  208. 208.
    End.

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