Ponyville's Interspecies Cultural Exhibit


                                            >The entire town of Ponyville is gathered at the town hall

                                            >Anon stands at the podium on stage next to Mayor Mare

                                            >"Welcome ponies of Ponyville. Thanks for joining us here today for our bi-annual interspecies cultural exhibit. Anon will be our honorary host and will be sharing about humans."

                                            >Mayor Mare steps aside and allows you to take her place behind the podium

                                            Hi, I'm Anon. Some of you know me by now but this is my first time doing one of these interspecies exhibits. I think last time it was about hippogriffs? Anyway, allow me to break the ice.

                                            >Anon loosens his collar

                                            This is a game where I'll be telling fun facts about some of you ponies in town, especially the mares

                                            >You give a sly wink to Cheerilee who is blushing in the front row

                                            Where did I get these juicy tidbits? Who knows, maybe I pulled them out of my ass.

                                            >some of the crowd laughs, some rolling their eyes

                                            >they've already experienced brashness and lack of etiquette from some of the other races in prior exhibits.

                                            Alright! Let's begin!

                                            >Anon unravels a scroll of aged parchment

                                            >He reaches into his chest pocket and pulls out a monocle which he adorns

                                            Twilight Sparkle! You are up first.

                                            >All heads turn to Twilight for a moment as she smiles awkwardly.

                                            Ah, here it is. Twilight has eaten 186 hayburgers so far this year.

                                            >some more laughter from the crowd

                                            >Twilight is slinking down in her chair smiling even more awkwardly and blushing

                                            Next, Cheerilee! She's distributed 66 pencils to students this school year

                                            >some of the crowd claps

                                            >Anon continues

                                            Pinkie Po!

                                            >"It's Pinkie Pie!"

                                            Ah, yes of course. Anyway, let's see. She's had 13 food fetish related orgasms in the past month.

                                            >the crowd is silent at this one, with a few murmurings

                                            >Pinkie has a large smile plastered on her face pretending to be oblivious

                                            >noticeable beads of sweat are forming on her forehead

                                            Well that's certainly something. Next is Spike! He's masturbated 204 times to Twilight since he was hatched.

                                            >Spike spits out his juice that he was slurping through his straw, spraying the stallion in front of him

                                            >"Hey, what's the big idea"

                                            >Spike apologizes and looks down at the ground avoiding Twilight's judgmental gaze

                                            >Twilight, who is right next to him, is starting to get a bit frazzled now

                                            >She's known about Spike masturbating to her, but she wasn't expecting other ponies to find out, let alone the whole town

                                            Not bad little guy, but let's get those numbers up!

                                            >Anon takes a sip of water from the glass on the podium

                                            Ahem.

                                            >Anon clears his throat while smiling into the crowd

                                            Applejack!

                                            >Applejack cringes in anticipation as she hears her name being called

                                            She's bucked 10,946 apples just this year alone. What a hard working mare!

                                            >Applejack sighs in relief and relaxes

                                            >some ponies start to clap, feeling a bit more comfortable now

                                            Next is our favorite mailmare in town, Derpy!

                                            >Derpy is smiling like she just won an award

                                            She's eaten 5,998 muffins in the past year. Folks, that's over 16 muffins a day. Impressive stuff.

                                            >there's a mixture of laughter and clapping from the crowd

                                            >"Muffins!"

                                            >Derpy beams with pride as she looks around at everyone

                                            Okay, next we have Big Mac.

                                            >Applejack is once again looking nervous

                                            >But Big Mac is as stoic as ever

                                            >Anon raises the parchment closer to his monocle

                                            It says here that Big Mac has had a total of 19 different lovers. Sheep lovers.

                                            >some of the crowd laughs

                                            >Big Mac's face turns even more red somehow as he avoids AJ's furious glare

                                            Onto the next. Rarity!

                                            >Rarity is nervous as anything but plays it cool, or at least tries to

                                            Ms. Fashion has engaged in 471 orgies. Now that's a lot of cock!

                                            >Her jaw drops and she covers her face with a combination of her hoof and an oversized fancy hat

                                            >there's lots of whispering in the crowd

                                            >several stallions are blushing now too

                                            Next. Mr. Cake!

                                            >He smiles nervously as he holds Mrs. Cake's hoof

                                            He's baked 131 cakes in the past month. Now that's a lot of cake!

                                            >there is some applause from the gathered ponies

                                            Now for Mrs. Cake.

                                            >Anon once again adjusts his monocle

                                            She's cheated on Mr. Cake for a whopping total of 383 times. Yikes, must suck to be Mr. Cake!

                                            >Mrs. Cake tries to whisper something to Mr. Cake but he starts to walk away from the crowd which then turns into a quick trot

                                            >He was aware of her infidelity, he just wasn't expecting that high of a number

                                            >Mrs. Cake runs after him

                                            >"Honey buns, wait! I can explain!"

                                            >the remaining ponies sit there in awkward silence

                                            Hey, why the long faces?

                                            >no pony laughs at the joke

                                            Tough crowd. Anyway, next on our list is the mare right next to me. Give it up for Mayor Mare!

                                            >there is some applause at the mention of the mayor

                                            This mare has spent the past 9 estrus cycles alone and unsatisfied.

                                            >Mayor Mare's face turns bright red

                                            >"Anon.. that's um because..well.."

                                            >You walk over to her, putting your finger on her lips to shush her

                                            >you whisper into her ear that you will stop by her house after the exhibit

                                            >she nods silently as she continues to blush

                                            >you can see her winking as she heads off the stage

                                            Next on the list is Rainbow Dash!

                                            >"Yeah! Go me!"

                                            >Dash pumps her hoof in the air

                                            >Twilight just rolls her eyes

                                            Okay it says here that you lost 11 races.

                                            >"WHAT!?"

                                            >Dash zooms to the podium in an instant and pushes her hoof into your shoulder

                                            >"Where did you get this crap anyway? Nevermind. You are lame, this whole exhibit is lame."

                                            >Dash flies off in a huff

                                            Ahem. Continuing.

                                            >You smooth out your shirt where Dash rustled it

                                            Next is Berry Punch.

                                            >She's already drunk but at least she made it to the event

                                            She's inserted 18 bottles into her vagina over the years which led to the need for medical intervention

                                            >Nurse Redheart shakes her head, recalling some of the procedures

                                            >Berry Punch just takes another swig of her bottle, not phased and in her zone

                                            Well this is surely getting interesting.

                                            >You take another sip of water before reading off the scroll

                                            Limestone Pie, you're up.

                                            >she has her hooves crossed and gives you a look that's says: if you embarrass me you die

                                            It states here that she harvested 15 rare gems so far this year. That might even be a new record!

                                            >with a smug grin she flips her mane to the side as she revels in the applause

                                            And now for her sister, Marble Pie. She is an avid plushie collector and has 20 Big Mac plushies that she knitted herself. That’s commitment!

                                            >Marble buries her face in her hooves

                                            >Big Mac looks over at her confused

                                            And now for the element of kindness, Fluttershy!

                                            >She does her best to hide in her chair

                                            She's been a meanie head for a total of 17 times. Who would have thought!

                                            >"Oh no, that can't be...no no no."

                                            >No pony can hear Fluttershy as she whispers to herself freaking out

                                            >she begins to hyperventilate

                                            >"I would never be mean...no not me...

                                            >her eye twitches as she quietly rambles to herself

                                            Next up, Granny Smith. She's given 29 blowjobs so far this year. Age is just a number, anyone? Confirmed!

                                            >Applejack and Big Mac look at each other in disgust

                                            >there are several gasps in the audience

                                            >"eh'ha what now? somepony say my name?"

                                            >Granny raises a hoof to her ear

                                            >Big Mac quickly looks away from AJ as he realizes she's still pissed at him over the sheep ordeal

                                            Next up, Lyra!

                                            >She's looking at you and smiling

                                            She's stalked humans on at least 6 different occasions

                                            >you laugh shakily as you realize you are the only human

                                            >she's still staring at you smiling

                                            Um... anyway. Moving on.

                                            >you loosen up your collar more and pull your tie down slightly

                                            >taking another drink of water, you continue reading the scroll

                                            Thank you all for your patience, we are almost done with the ice breaker. My exhibit will primarily be about the extraordinary and incredible human stamina.

                                            >you can see the confused look of some faces

                                            I'm talking about sex people. Specifically how the human penis functions and how that's important knowledge for mares

                                            >Cheerilee is blushing heavily while looking at you with lidded eyes

                                            >you make a mental note to talk with her before your "appointment" with Mayor Mare

                                            Next up is none other than The Great and Powerful Trixie! Please give her a round of applause.

                                            >the crowd reluctantly complies and claps slowly

                                            >Trixie is all in for the attention

                                            >"It's about time Trixie was noticed for something"

                                            The scroll says that Trixie has taken it in the butt 679 times. Wow!

                                            >some of the crowd bursts out in laughter

                                            >Trixie sits there in shock

                                            >even Twilight is giggling

                                            The Great and Power Ass, am I right?

                                            >more laughter from the crowd

                                            >Trixie tries to say something but it just comes out as a weird gargle as she begins to cry

                                            >she runs away from the crowd to her wagon

                                            >Twilight sighs and walks off to go check on her

                                            >you wait for the crowd to calm down before going down the list

                                            >you check your watch and notice that you already blew enough time with the ice breaker segment

                                            >you still need to save a good hour for the actual exhibit

                                            Last but certainly not least, Princess Celestia!

                                            >as if on cue Celestia teleports right next to you on the stage

                                            >you never quite got used to that feeling of pure magic in the air buzzing your senses.

                                            >"Anonymous, I need to speak to you"

                                            >Celestia addresses you firmly but with a smile

                                            >She then faces the crowd of ponies

                                            >"Greetings ponies of Ponyville. I apologize for the sudden intrusion"

                                            >the ponies near the front of the stage bow to her

                                            >"No need for that please, this is an informal visit. I just need to speak with the human"

                                            >With horn glowing, she turns around and the scroll slips out of your hands levitating towards the monarch

                                            >you give her a big smile with a short bow

                                            Princess, how nice to see you here. Come for the exhibit?

                                            >she puts up a small magic bubble around the both of you serving as a sound barrier

                                            >her smile now replaced with a stern look

                                            >"Anon, you thieving little monkey. You bang my brains out and then leave in the middle of the night! You know how much I was looking forward to a hoof massage this morning."

                                            My Queen, allow me to-

                                            >"Silence! You also took off with one of my magical scrolls!"

                                            Oh, so I did. I've had quite a bit of fun with it. Your line on there was interesting by the way. Want to hear what it was?

                                            >She rolls her eyes

                                            >"Fine, what was it"

                                            >smirking smugly, you clear your throat

                                            The royal bakery has delivered 2,227 full sheets of cake to your bed chambers...

                                            >her face turns red and she slightly lowers her head looking away from you

                                            >"That's absurd, I've never heard of something more absolutely untrue and rid-

                                            >you cut her off

                                            ...in the past month.

                                            >"Nonsense!"

                                            >Oh, she's fired up now

                                            Hey, there's nothing wrong with that. You are a pretty princess and deserve all the cake

                                            >She raises her head and looks you in the eyes

                                            >"...do you mean it?"

                                            Of course I do. If we didn't have an audience I'd give you a big hug, and a smooch

                                            >she blushes a little bit at that

                                            >"Fine. I won't stay mad at you. But, hoof massage tonight."

                                            Of course my lady.

                                            >tips imaginary fedora

                                            >another poof and she's gone, along with the scroll

                                            >that's fine you were ready to start the exhibit anyway

                                            >the crowd of ponies look at you even more confused than before

                                            Ahem. Sorry for the interruption, I had important matters to discuss with our Princess.

                                            >the ponies look at you with a bit more respect after witnessing your mute interaction with Celestia

                                            >Twilight runs up onto the stage slightly out of breath

                                            >"Anon! I heard that Princess Celestia was here, where is she?"

                                            Ah, sorry Twilight you just missed her. I think you were with Trixie

                                            >Twilight hoofs herself in the forehead

                                            >"darnit, well what did she want?"

                                            It was a personal matter, but I really do need to get on with the exhibit

                                            >You point to your watch

                                            >Twilight just now realizes she's on stage blabbering away

                                            >with an embarrassed grin she walks off

                                            >you take the curtain off the display board that was sitting on stage

                                            >it's a bunch of crude drawings of a human performing lewd acts with mares

                                            Alright. We will now begin the examination of human stamina and how it may benefit you.


                                            End.