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Anonfilly Wants to Know What A Horn's Made Of [4]

By FajitasAnon
Created: 18th December 2020 12:35:08 AM
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  1. >Another day in Equestria
  2. >Be the filly with a question that needs to be answered
  3. >Which you can ask if this lecture ever ends
  4. >"So is it getting through to you now how dangerous that was? Or if I thought Discord gave you as a gift and you were left as a life-sized filly lawn gnome?"
  5. >This speech would probably be more effective if it were coming from someone other than yourself
  6. >The you that's the original, purple found out cloning was hard
  7. >Apparently the other you was worried at some point
  8. >Though some ponies were talking about him yelling at the sun again before actually helping you
  9. "A pony would've reported me to someone, they don't take lewd statues lightly here."
  10. >"And whose fault is that? Especially after the quesadillas?"
  11. >You still hate when not-you is right
  12. >Especially because he thinks exactly like you do
  13. "Point is that you should've let me have the trout, faggot."
  14. >"Not when you act like that, and you know that's not the point. Just- fine, go fuck off until I think of a way to actually get through to you."
  15. >Hah, you won the stall-out of stubbornness
  16. >That means freedom to go bother purple about your forehead protrusion
  17. >Bookhoers knows about being a pony and should have a surface level knowledge on what exactly a horn is made of
  18. >You arrive at the castle after a long run-turned-walk
  19. >Running still sucks, no matter the number of legs
  20. >You knock on the large crystalline door
  21. >It takes a moment before the biggest beta you know opens it
  22. "Ey, Spike! What's up? I'm here to talk to-"
  23. >"Sorry 'Non, Twilight said to tell you that she's not helping you find more poison joke."
  24. >Damn, there goes those future plans
  25. >But that's not what you're here for this time
  26. >You're here to learn something important, something vital
  27. "It's not that, but I do have a question for her. Fate of Equestria may depend on the answer."
  28. >Spike gives you a flat look, like the one you'd give to a child who's obviously lying but it's more effort than it's worth to confront them about it
  29. >"She's in the library. Seriously, don't ask about the poison joke."
  30. "Yeah, yeah, whatever you gem-munching fag."
  31. >He opens the door more so that you can squeeze in
  32. >You immediately start for the library
  33. >This place seems almost nostalgic, back from your first few days here
  34. >Back when the current pony-you wasn't made yet and had just gotten here, Twi wanted to study you
  35. >And again when Twilight gave you pony-lessons and magic lessons after her cloning failure
  36. >You reach her personal library door, and find it closed shut
  37. >Usually a sign that whatever she's trying to research, she's deep into it
  38. >A perfect time to yell for her loudly while walking in
  39. "OH TWILIGHT! I NEED SOME HELP FROM THE PRINCESS OF FRIENDSHIP!"
  40. >You walk in to see the mare stumble off a stepping stool while letting out a pained cry
  41. >She quickly gets up, and shoots you a glare
  42. >"Spike should've told you that I'm-"
  43. "Not helping me find poison joke. Yeah, I've heard. I just have a question, a very important question that I need you to answer. Purely academic."
  44. >Twilight gives you a shocked look
  45. >"You... have an academic question? For me? You're the same Anon that slept through all of my lectures on how to be a pony, and you have a question?"
  46. "Yeah, don't get your tail in a twist. It's been bothering me, what exactly is a unicorn horn made of?"
  47. >Her face lights up in a way you've only seen just before your lessons
  48. >"I thought you'd never ask such an important and scholarly question! It's quite simple, I just need to get a couple of my bio-sorcery books from the other shelf and we can get started!"
  49. >This might have been a mistake
  50. >"To start you off, what do you know about our horns?"
  51. "That I traded my lower horn for this one, and that it makes magic."
  52. >She completely ignores your joke while levitating a few books from the shelves
  53. >"They don't make magic, they harness it from a nearby gland. Now, do you have any theories on what they're made of?"
  54. "Bone, maybe? Or a solid chunk of hair like a buffalo?"
  55. >"Neither, it's a completely different structure completely!"
  56. >Her voice pitches up in enthusiasm as she finds the book she was looking for. "Basic Pony Physiology - Second Edition"
  57. >Opening it up, she points at a diagram of a unicorn head with a label on the horn
  58. "...Alicorn? Isn't that what you and Lulu are?"
  59. >"Well, yes, but it was discovered by Starswirl the Bearded that horns were in fact not bone but a highly conductive bonelike material that had a plethora of nerve-endings that could not sense pain. He named the material after the princesses to honor their strength and sensitivity. Also, that's Princess Luna to you, not Lulu."
  60. "Huh. The more you know. Now, second question."
  61. >Twilight stamps her hooves in a sort of clapping of excitement
  62. >"Yes, Nonny?"
  63. "Where's Discord, I have an idea-"
  64. >Her smile immediately drops, and her horn lights up
  65. >"No."
  66. >You hear a pop, and you blink to find yourself right outside your house
  67. "C'mon! That whole thing was weeks ago!"
  68. >It was worth a shot anyway
  69. >You hear the human Anon inside
  70. >"Oh, sounds like she's back. Wait here, I'll get her for you."
  71. >He opens the door and looks at you with a smile
  72. >Oh fuck you know that smile, that's your I've-Already-Won shit-eating grin special
  73. "What did you do?"
  74. >"I found a way to get through to you."
  75. >Damn, forgot about that
  76. >It's getting late, so maybe it's something quick
  77. >Neither of you like to miss bedtime
  78. >You walk in the door only to have that hope crushed
  79. >Three fillies, three sleeping bags, and your own markless ass
  80. "Oh, hey girls, what's up?"
  81. >Your attempt at a calm, collected voice comes out as a shaky, nervous one
  82. >You really hope they don't say what you think they're going to say
  83. >Sweetie Belle confirms your worst thoughts
  84. >"Mr. Anon said we could have a sleepover! Isn't that great, Nonny?"
  85. >You quietly swear an even deeper oath of vengeance upon Anon for this

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