SCP-8008: You Know What It Is


                                            >SCP-8008

                                            >Containment Class: Safe-Euclid(1)

                                            >Physical Harm Potential: None

                                            >Mental Harm Potential: Inconclusive


                                            >Special Containment Procedures:

                                            >SCP-8008 is a phenomenon associated with adolescent-to-adult, female members of GOI APE; as such, it is both permanently-contained and uncontainable. Should any entity detach from its host, first assist the host in finding medical assistance, then inform your supervisor. Under no circumstances are any entities to request a drink from an SCP-8008.


                                            >Description:

                                            >SCP-8008 refers to a soft, warm pillowy structure found solely on the barrels of non-juvenile, female humans. These mares protect their 8008s fiercely, to the point that a common point of pride for a pony is being permitted to lay their head on them when the host is laying down. This pattern holds true for human males as well, with the greatest glory attributed to those males who have been permitted to touch an unclothed SCP-8008 with their bare hands.


                                            >Many hosts complain about their SCP-8008s going out of control, and talk extensively of the 'brah-zeer' used to harness them. The commonality of such sentiments, and garments, has led to the accepted theory that SCP-8008 is a symbiotic entity which chooses a human female when she begins turning from a little filly into a mare. The fact that young females have been able to domesticate their own SCP-8008s even in Equestria lends credence to the formerly-fringe theory that SCP-8008's larval form is incorporeal and possibly multidimensional.


                                            >SCP-8008 enacts a mental compulsion on the human species which goes far beyond its obvious utility as something warm and soft. Human males compete for the attention of whichever female hosts the largest 8008s, often to the ignorance of all else(2). The prevailing theory is that symbiosis between SCP-8008 and the human female is responsible for the development of their matriarchal society(3). Extensive tests have proven the entity has no truly anomalous compulsion on the pony psyche, so researchers need not fear interaction.


                                            >ADDENDUM: New insight into the symbiotic nature of SCP-8008 was provided when the first Equestrian-native human [Redacted] was born to [redacted and redacted]. The infant was seen absorbing energy from its mother's left SCP-8008, most likely a necessity to power its massive eyeballs and crying matrix. The now-Grand Unified Theory regarding SCP-8008 is that they are a symbiotic species which gains protection, nourishment and friendship through its host and her romantic suitors in exchange for providing its romance-compelling effect and converting a mother's excess energy into a baby-safe Alternating Current(4) format.


                                            >1. The entity itself is Safe, however it is never found anywhere but attached to a Euclid entity

                                            >2. See files tagged: HOLD MY CIDER, AWOOGA, GAZONGAS

                                            >3. Humans of both sexes vehemently claim their society is largely a patriarchal-leaning egalitarian culture, while at the same time admitting the mother typically has control over dinner, bedtimes, and preferential selection for staying home to play with foals

                                            >4. Humans are widely believed to be a uniquely Friendship-Capable Robotic species, as lightning is the only possible explanation for their sapience which lines up with observed sugar intake. Photosynthesis via their green skin and extensive sun exposure and/or burning of hard spirits in an internal engine are the most likely power sources; ponies are reminded that humans do not like kerosene.