SCP-1225-OOF: Chimneys Are Pretty Dangerous


                                            SCP-1225

                                            Object Class: Aponyon

                                            Hostility Potential: None

                                            Disruption Potential: 12.7 Gigatwilights


                                            Special Containment Procedures:

                                            An SCP-1225-OOF event is presently believed to be inevitable. Attempts to negotiate with SCP-1225 have proven fruitless. Soopah Sekret Contingency Alpha-Mare-Seven is in place to minimize permanent psychological damage via rapid deployment of cocoa, blankies and priority counseling with HRM Luna. The following standing orders were issued to all Foundation friends with a secretkeeping clearance of 1 or higher:

                                            >SCP-1225-OOF IS CURRENTLY UNCONTAINABLE

                                            >ALL RELEVANT DOCUMENTATION IS HEREBY DECLARED CLEARANCE LEVEL ONE

                                            >ALL FRIENDS MUST REVIEW RELEVANT DOCUMENTS

                                            >ALL FRIENDS ARE ENCOURAGED TO BRAINSTORM POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS AND/OR BETTER POST-BREACH CONTINGENCIES

                                            >PROPOSALS SHOULD BE GIVEN DIRECTLY TO P. PIE, OVERSEER OF FESTIVAL-ADJACENT OPERATIONS


                                            Object Description:

                                            SCP-1225 is a known Holiday Avatar who delivers toys to good foals during winter festivals. He appears in the traditions of multiple species, typically depicted as an endearingly overweight and kindly old male example of whatever species originated said traditions. Regardless of cultural context, he is invariably described as being able to enter any closed location without causing structural damage, and to deliver toys to every celebrant on the eve of their preferred holiday. SCP-1225's capabilities are well-known and accepted, with all deviations understood to be a combination of magical disguise and parental participation, and are not the subject of containment.

                                            SCP-1225-OOF refers to the inevitability that a pony will see SCP-1225 harmed, causing irreparable damage to said pony, with possible cascading effects to the pony's immediate family, extended herd, and even entire township. SCP-1225-OOF was first recognized as a potential breach of normalcy when HRM T.S. personally witnessed SCP-1225. Fortunately, She and her drakeservant were assisting with a botanical experiment and had a film recorder running; transcript of event follows:


                                            "Okay, Spike, it's on?"

                                            >"Yeah, it's on... wait hold up, I gotta do this right unless you want ANOTHER burning log delivered straight to Princess Celestia."

                                            >[A sharp clicking sound; Spike is igniting his mundane fire.]

                                            "Don't light it yet! Mudbriar spent months breeding firewood that burns with Hearthswarming cheer, he'll be crushed if we don't capture it just right!"

                                            >[The camera is shakily moved closer to the fireplace, inside of which is a yule log with candycane coloration.]

                                            >[More clicking; Spike has approached the fireplace and is rapidly opening and shutting his jaws.]

                                            "Spike, would it help if I weren't watching?"

                                            >"No, I got this, it's just cold in here and it makes my teeth-"

                                            >[A jolly red fat stallion falls down the chimney bearing a sack of textbooks, candied gemeralds and candid-but-totally-legally-obtained-pictures-of-Rarity.]

                                            "OMIGOSH, SANTA!? You came early! Spike, get the emergency platter! This is what we drilled for!"

                                            >[Spike does not hear HRM's orders, due to his teeth chattering. He sneezes, setting SCP-1225's greatcoat on fire and singing HRM's mane. SCP-1225 is unfazed and proceeds as normal.]

                                            >"HO-HO-HOLY CRUD THAT WAS A DOOZY, YA NEED A TISSUE... OR ASBESTOS?"

                                            >[Spike proceeds to hyperventilate while HRM T.S. rapidly approaches a Purple Synchronicity. Subsequent footage has been destroyed by royal order.]