Kinder SPC prompts and Green

 

.

 

Item #: SCP-012

 

Object Class: Keter

 

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-096 is to be wrapped in bubble wrap at all times. Playing with SCP is strictly forbidden due to its sharp nature. The wrapped object is to be secured with in containment room 004 for further analysis.

 

 

Description: SCP-012

 

SCP-012 has similar qualities to fallen sticks found in wooded area's such as the very spooky Everfree or the similar whitetail woods. The object is 5 hooves long with a fine point at the end.

 

Audio log from containment room 004:

 

<start transcript>

Guardspony: Ow! my hoof...

<end transcript>

 

Notes: Guard pony spent three days in quarantine in a special hospitalized unit. His court martial trail deemed him to have a stern talking to followed by three months therapy due to the 'stern talking to'. The foundation is reviewing his contract.

 

.

 

Item #: SCP-064

 

 

Object Class: [s]Keter[/s] Apollyon

 

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-064 is to be kept in the Foundation's most comfiest hotel room under constant surveillance, even during naptime.SCP-064 is to be brought snacks and drinks regularly to keep it from getting hungry and thirsty. leading to an outbreak that could lead to events including saying bad words and making mean faces.

 

 

Description: SCP-064

 

SCP-064 is a green monkey approximately the same height as Princess Celestia at about 9 hooves tall. SCP-064 has been observed to be extremely hostile when provoked, performing actions such as [DATA EXPUNGED] and yelling. SCP-064 is furless, and wears clothing comprised of [REDACTED] and [DATA EXPUNGED]. SCP-064 is non-reactive to danger and has shown anomalous resilience to boo-boos, and does not cry even when it's knees get scraped.

 

Incident-064-2: On April 3rd, [REDACTED], SCP-064 stubbed its toe on the leg of a table, and kicked the table again in anger and said a naughty word. Due to this, SCP-064 was reclassified as "Apollyon" due to it's extreme aggression and it's disregard for not using potty-language.

 

 

Item #: SCP-055

Object Class: Keter

 

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-055 Is to be kept in containment room 005, it's is kept away from view at all times even from video feeds. A dust sheet provided to cover SCP-055 is provided with a "No looksies" sign.

 

Description: SCP-055

 

SCP-055 Is a mechanical device powered by an unknown power source, it is believed by our researchers that SCP-055 arrived from another dimension along with SCP- 064. The design of SCP-055 is more advance then Equestrian technology, it's use still remains unknown. The object itself is grey, stands up tall with two wheels at down the bottom of its base, a brushy tube lays under it's base near the front.

 

When activated the machine can reach noise levels above the set safety standards of 80db's, Ear protectors must be warn.

 

Incident-055-064 - Cross SCP Test.

It is clear that SCP-064 and SCP-055 are to be kept separate at all times. The test shows that SCP-064 is very familiar with SCP-055 and have no qualms being in the same location of the object.

 

During testing SCP-064 activated SCP-055 and proceeded to run it across the floor, while moaning in his language. our translators are able to translate a few said words after the incident.

 

<Start Transcript>

SCP-064: Fucking ponies and their crumbs.

<End Transcript>

 

Our test friends in the room at the time shown complete terror as the machine emitted a terrible noise. Upon seeing this SCP-064 decided to give chase to the ponies wheeling SCP-055 towards them in back and forth motion.

 

Audio transcript below:

<Start Transcript>

Test Friend One: We need to get out of here!

Test Friend Two: It's so loud! Make it stop!

Test Friend One: The door is locked! Were trapped!

SCP-055: Whirrrrrrrrrr

Test Friend Two: Oh no he's coming this way!

<End Transcript>

 

Notes: Test Friend One and Two are currently in physiological evaluation as of //. Princess T has been notified about the incident.

 

Great now I'm thinking that ponies just come into Anons house and takes his shit claiming it could be dangerous to Equestria. Fuck it here some green.

 

 

"No escaping today. I'm looking for my pizza cutter."

"Book Smart!"

"I can unlock my front door from the inside Twilight!" You snap. "Where is it?"

"My pizza cutter! I need it!"

"Where. Is. It!" You are getting angry, and you were starving.

"Thank you."

"Fucking ponies..."

 

 

I'm picturing a research blind about 25 yards from Anon's front door. It's filled with the highest horse technology surveillance equipment (reel to reel movie cameras, telescopes and a can-string-can hotline back to headquarters) and staffed by Equestria's top researchers. Dozens of horsie scientists work in the relative safety of the headquarters bunker, 150 yards away, but only the bravest get up close in the observation blind.

 

It is perilous work.

Emergency evacuations of the observation blind are frequent, when the fearsome Anon comes outside, shaking a dangerous stick and roaring "You [explicit language deleted] ponies get off my [more explicit language] lawn!"

Despite extensive attempts to camouflage the blind with sticks and bushes Anon always seems aware of its presence.

 

Thankfully, no researchers have yet been struck with the stick, but two ponies were severely traumatized during a dangerous incursion mission, when researchers brave entering Anon's domicile to recover items for study. Normally, safety protocols demand that this is done when Anon is away from home for hours or days, but in this incident Anon came home unexpectedly and caught the two scientists in his residence.

Though both research ponies followed standard protocol and said they were sorry, Anon still yelled at them in an exceptionally angry tone, and threatened both with a spanking if he caught them inside his house again.

Since the incident no incursion missions have been attempted, as there are no ponies brave enough to risk Anon's terrible wrath. Both of the young mares on that final mission were awarded the Celestial Medal of Valor for their courage, they are presently undergoing trauma counseling before returning to safer duty.

 

Item #: SCP-083

 

Object Class: Euclid

 

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-083 is to be separated from SCP-064 at all times, and is believed to have come from the same dimension as SCP-064. At no point are SCP-064 and SCP-083 to come into contact with each other for any reason (See Incident-083-01) SCP-083 is to be kept hidden under a pillow in the playroom at Site-01.

 

Description: SCP-083

 

SCP-083 is a small rectangular box. The object is a black and silver color with the word "SAMSUNG" on the front. SCP-083 has a single blinking blue light to the left of the word "SAMSUNG" on it's front. SCP-083 has four buttons on it: two located on it's left side; one button located on it's rights side; one button located at the bottom of it's front side. The design of SCP-083 is far more advanced than Equestrian technology, and has an unknown power source. SCP-064 is currently the only known entity with the knowledge to operate the device. SCP-083 will vibrate at random intervals, and this is to be considered normal (See Addendum-083-A).

 

Incident-083-01: SCP-064 gains possession of SCP-083 while under observation by Foundation Ponysonnel. SCP-064 appears to active SCP-083, and after several seconds, loud, scary music playing at sixty (60) decibels began to play, spooking on-site researchers. After this incident, SCP-083 was recovered from the dwelling of SCP-064 and kept under Foundation security.

 

<Start Transcript>

SCP-064: "Let's see, what song should I... Aha!"

SCP-083: "MAN AND MACHINE AND NOTHING THERE IN BETWEEN! THE FLYING CIRCUS AND A MAN FROM PRUSSIA!"

Researchers: "AAAH!"

<End Transcript>

 

Addendum-083-A: On May 19th, [REDACTED], the front of SCP-083 was observed to have lit up by itself, with the word "SAMSUNG" appearing in the center of the object before being quickly being erased by unknown means. After this event, the blue light in the top left corner of SCP-083 no longer blinks nor vibrates.

 

Item # SCP-092

 

Object Class: Euclid

 

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-092 is to be kept near SCP-064's containment room as much as possible, preferably in a specially-built play room filled with toys and other entertainment (See Incident-092-1). Whenever possible, SCP Ponysonnel should offer to share their candy and desserts with SCP-092 in an attempt to cheer them up. Interaction between SCP-064 and SCP-092 should be allowed if SCP-064 requests to see SCP-092.

 

Description: SCP-092

 

SCP-092 is an orange mare with a black mane, and no cutie mark. Attempts to get SCP-092's name have been unsuccessful. SCP-092 is in a constant state of sadness, and will cry non-stop and ignore all attempts to cheer them up, with the only known variation in this behavior being during interactions with SCP-064 (See Incident-092-1). SCP-092 will lay curled up in a ball on the ground, sobbing to herself

 

<Start Transcript>

SCP-092: *Sad horse noises*

<End Transcript>

 

Incident-092-1: During a Containment Breach by SCP-064, SCP-092 was discovered by SCP-064 in SCP-092's personal playroom. SCP-064 was seen to approach SCP-092, and sit beside her, attempting to comfort her. SCP-092 responded with her first know deviation from her normal routine, by looking up at SCP-064, sniffling, and jumping unexpectedly at SCP-064; embracing SCP-064 in a hug and crying loudly into SCP-064's neck. SCP-064 attempted to calm down SCP-092, and the two sat in this position for several hours.

 

After two (2) hours, SCP-064 stood up with SCP-092 in it's arms, who by this point had almost stopped crying. SCP-064 [DATA EXPUNGED] SCP-092 on her muzzle, stating that it would "come back soon." SCP-092 was seen to nod her head in response, before SCP-064 left the room and left the facility. SCP-092 was seen to begin crying again after SCP-064 had left the area.

 

Item # SCP-069

 

Object Class: ̶L̶e̶w̶d̶ Euclid

 

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-069 is to be kept in containment room 012. No pony is to speak or even mention SCP-069 outside of research or reporting. Specially trained staff is only allowed to be in contact with said object. Photographs on testing on Test Friends is strictly forbidden by the highest authority.

 

Description: SCP-069

SCP-069 seems to be an oversize stripped pair of tube socks of repeating colors. Wearing said object my cause embarrassment to the individual due to it's lewd nature [See incident-069-01]. SCP-069 was discovered in SCP-064 'gift box' for heartwarming eve intended to be delivered to one of our staff. It's creator or it's source is still widely unknown.

Incident-069-1: Test Friend 1, after many hours of encouragement by SCP-064 decided to wear SCP-069, the effects of the object caused Test Friend 1 to show signs of embarrassment and after further study of the incident, arousal. The physical effects show on Test Friend 1 reports of a blush lasting for many hours. Test Friend 1 is currently in psychoanalysis after a cold shower ordered by Princess [Redacted].

 

<Start Transcript>

SCP-064: So adorable...

Test Friend 1: Anon! it-its so l-lewd!

<End Transcript>

 

Item #: SCP-077

 

Object Class: Keter

 

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-077 is to be held in Containment Room 037, encased in [REDACTED] layers of bubblewrap. Playing with SCP-077 is strictly prohibited due to its sharp nature.

 

Description: SCP-077

 

SCP-077 is a circular blade of unknown purpose taken from the home of SCP-064 during an expedition into the house on August 27th, [REDACTED]. The blade is made of an unknown material harder than iron, with the shiny property of silver.

 

Item #: SCP-011

 

Object Class: Thaumiel

 

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-011 is to be kept in Containment Room 03 with a "No Touchies!" sign next to it. Access to Containment Room 03 is to be granted only to Senior Researcher Ponysonnel and members of the Security Department who have shown advanced concentration and self-discipline skills. Acess to SCP-011 should only be allowed during testing or during a breach.

 

Description: SCP-011

 

SCP-011 is a small cylindrical device of advanced technology recovered from the dwelling of SCP-064. SCP-011 has a single button in one end, and a small glass cap on the other. When the button is pressed, a small red dot (Designated SCP-011-1) appears at the location the glass cap of SCP-011 is directed at. SCP-011-1 is almost completely irresistible to anypony who views it, and anypony who views SCP-011-1 will immediately jump onto SCP-011-1 and attempt to capture it. So far, [REDACTED] tests have been performed on ways to trap SCP-011-1, and all have been failures. SCP-011 has been shown to have great promise in recontaining breached SCPs, as even anomalous and dangerous SCPs fall victim to SCP-011-1's hypnotic properties.

 

Addendum 011-1: SCP-011 is not allowed to be used during any breaches involving SCP-064, due to the risk of losing SCP-011 to SCP-064.

 

Item #: SCP-007

 

Object Class: Safe

 

 

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-007 is to be kept in the fridge in the cafeteria at Site-03 with a label designating it as SCP-007. Due to the nature of SCP-007, no further containment procedures are necessary.

 

 

Description: SCP-007

 

SCP-007 is a pickle jar of unknown origin and manufacturer. SCP-007 is approximately 1.5 hooves tall, and contains 8 pickles. SCP-007 is made of an unbreakable glass-like material, with a cover made from a similarly durable metal. To date, [REDACTED] tests have been performed attempting to open the jar, and all have resulted in failure. As a result of testing, it has been determined that SCP-007 is impossible to open, at least by all known means available to the Foundation.

 

Document # 007-E: Experiment logs --

 

Test # 1: Test Friend

<start transcript>

Test Friend: So, you just want me to try to open this pickle jar?

Researcher: Yes, give it your best go.

Test Friend: Okay!

Test Friend: Haaah!

Test Friend: I... I can't get it open!?

<end transcript>

 

Test #2: [DATA EXPUNGED]

 

Test #3: SCP-064 Cross-testing

<start transcript>

Researcher: Please, SCP-064? I REALLY need you to open this pickle jar for me? Pretty please with a cherry on top?

SCP-064: First off, my name is Anonymous, not 'SCP-064'. Secondly, sure. Hand it over.

SCP-064: Hnnnng! What the fuck? what did you do to this thing? I can't open it!

Researcher: That's okay if you can't open it. I'll just take it back then.

SCP-064: No, wait! I can open it! J-just give me a moment!

<end transcript>

 

Addendum 007-E-04: SCP-064 continues trying to open SCP-007 for 5 minutes before finally giving up and relinquishing SCP-007 back to the researcher.

 

Item #: SCP-060

 

Object Class: Thaumiel

 

 

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-060 is to be kept in the nurse's office at site-03, stored in an environment between 20 and 25 degrees. Due to the limited supply of SCP-060, it is only to be used on Class-3 boo-boos, including scraped knees, burns and cuts. SCP-060 should not be ingested or applied to anypony's eyes.

 

 

Description: SCP-060

SCP-060 is a small yellow and white packet of clear gel, with the word "NEOSPORIN" on the front of the container. SCP-060 has the anomolous ability to prevent Class-3 boo-boos from becoming icky, as well as making burns stop hurting. How SCP-060 is able to prevent the ickiness is unknown, and due to the limited supply of SCP-060 and the Foundation's inability to produce more, tests outside of actual medical emergencies are impossible. Currently, ~40% of the original amount of SCP-060 is left in the container. Due to the nature of SCP-060, a method to produce more of SCP-060 should be a top priority to the Foundation's research staff.

 

 

Item #: SCP-040

 

Object Class: Keter

 

 

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-040 is to be kept in containment room 30, inside a reinforced glass case. Access to SCP-040 is to be restricted to Level-4 ponysonnel and above. Two (2) security guards are to be positioned inside the room with SCP-040, to ensure nopony tries to interact with it. Should any changes in the pattern of SCP-040 be found, a group of no less than three (3) scientists are to be tasked with returning SCP-040 to it's prior state. The researchers should take care not to accidentally "solve" any portion of SCP-040. Should anypony obtain information on a method to "solve" SCP-040, they are to be given Class-2 amnestics to prevent the possibility of them "solving" SCP-040.

 

 

Description: SCP-040

 

SCP-040 is a small one-hoof by one-hoof by one-hoof cube made up of six (6) different colors, with anywhere between six (6) and two (2) colors appearing on any of its sides. The colors on SCP-040 are able to be "shifted" vertically and horizontally by as-of-now unknown means. The cube appears to "break apart," while also remaining in one piece; thus allowing the colors to be moved. It is unknown what happens when a side of SCP-040 is made a single solid color, or by extension what happens when all sides are made a single solid color. As a result of the potential danger present in "solving" SCP-040, by order of the pOne5 Council, all tests regarding SCP-040 are to be suspended until SCP-040's nature is better understood.

 

Item #: SCP-040

 

Object Class: Keter

 

 

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-014 is to be stored in a in a cool, dark place unexposed to extreme temperature as described on the object itself. The door to containment locker 064-0014 is to be guarded by two security guards at all times. Touching or shaking the metal object is strictly forbidden, please see indecent log 0034-14 for more details.

 

 

Description: SCP-014

 

SCP-014 is a small black cylindrical metal object that stands 1 hoof high, with a metal pull on the top. The outside is covered in the script of SCP-064, upon translating the green logo spells "monster" with three claw marks. Upon holding there is an unknown liquid is with held in the can. Research proves inconclusive that a monster resides in the object or no. At this moment the research teams conclude it could be a liquid monster transporter. Further investigation required.

 

Indecent log 0034-14:

<Transcript>

SCP-064: Get out the way of my fridge!

Security Friend 1: SCP-064 this is for our protection! Please leave containment locker 023-0014

SCP-064: Containment locker? This is my fridge! Now get out!.

Security Friend 2: SCP-014 is stored in there, We cannot let you access this locker.

SCP-064: I just want some eggs! And what SCP-014?

Security Friend 1: The monster holder...

SCP-064: Oh for the love off...Move!

Security Friend 1: HEY!

Security Friend 2: WHOA!

[Clattering noises]

SCP-064: Is this number 14?

Security Friend 1: 64 put that object down!

SCP-064: No.

[More Clattering noises]

[Hissing noises]

Security Friend 2: SCP-014 has been breached! I repeat! SCP-014 has been breached!

SCP-064: Now it's all over my floor!

Security Friend 1: SCP-064 is angered! Red alert the Princess!

SCP-064: ...Fucking ponies..

</Transcript>

 

[Spoiler]This is a semi-sequel to the green I wrote a few threads ago about Bon Bon being Anon's guard while he was under the Foundation's control. More specifically, a sequel to the last line of that green, where Anon asks if Bon Bon knew the way to SCP-092's room.[/spoiler]

 

"Calm down, Bon Bon. I'm just looking for that mare who couldn't stop crying."

"Great! Do you know which direction she's in?"

"Oh, wow. I was just about to walk right by it..."

"I told you I'd come back. I'd never leave you if I didn't have to... You'll be okay. I promise."

"No, I don't. I'm just trying to comfort her."

"Wow, slow down! You'll give yourself brain freeze!"

"Of course you can come with me."

"Back to my room. She said she didn't want me to leave her again, so I'm not going to leave her."

"I'm sure your widdle wesearch wab can handle a single mare not being inside a playroom, Bon Bon."

"Do you have a name, miss?"

"'Whole Heart'? That's a very nice name."

"Shhh... Shhh... It's okay, let it out."

"Whole Heart, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

"It's okay, Whole Heart, there's nothing for you to be sorry for, you didn't do anything bad."

"My name's Anonymous, and you're not a bad pony, you're a good pony. Okay? I'm not mad that you forgot to ask my name."

"Hey, you must have had a long day. How would you like to take a nap?"

"Alright. You can sleep in the bed, and I'll sleep on the couch. Is that okay?"

"You're welcome, Whole Heart. Sleep tight."

"Good night, Bonny."

 

Item #: SCP-089

 

Object Class: Euclid

 

 

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-089 is to be kept locked in a containment cell at Site-05. Under no circumstances should ponysonnel use SCP-089 for non-testing purposes. Any lost uniform pieces as a result of doing so will be paid for out of the guilty ponysonnel's allowance. Research ponysonnel should feed SCP-089 a steady supply of clothing made for this purpose.

 

 

Description: SCP-089

 

SCP-089 is a large, white metal box, with an opening in the top covered by a sheet of metal on a hinge. The sheet of metal covers a large empty space within SCP-089. The box has several dials and buttons in it. Of the current [REDACTED] buttons on SCP-091, scientists have only discovered what [REDACTED] of them do. Upon activation, SCP-091 makes loud and scary noises. Deviation from this should be reported to the pOne5 Council.

 

When placed inside SCP-089, random article of clothing will disappear. The anomalous properties of SCP-089 were discovered when SCP-064 began complaining about missing clothing after placing them in SCP-089.

 

<transcript>

SCP-064: Hey, did any of you little guys do something with my right sock? It's not in the washing machine.

Security Guard: Ummm... No, I jave seen your s-socks, SCP-064...

SCP-064: Huh. Well, I guess it really DID eat my clothing then, heh.

Security Guard: What?! Thank you for notifying us about this. We'll take action right away!

SCP-064: Uhhh, sure, whatever you say, little guy.

<end transcript>

 

It is currently unknown what happens to clothing eaten by SCP-089, or for what purpose it eats clothing specifically. Tests have been conducted involving feeding SCP-089 fruits and sweets, and all have resulted with the food smashed and smeared on SCP-089's inside space.

 

SCP-089 Addendum: Audio Log #1

<start transcript>

Test Friend: I don't wanna touch it! It looks scary!

Guardspony: Please turn on SCP-089.

Test Friend #024: I'll... I'll try.

Guardspony and Test Friend 024: AHHHHH

<end transcript>

 

SCP-089 Addendum: Audio Log #2

<start transcript>

Guardspony: Please turn on SCP-089.

Test Friend #043: Of course.

Test Friend #043: Hmmmm... what does this button do?

<end transcript>

 

 

Incident 1 of SCP-089:

 

 

Incident 2 of SCP-089: Audio Log #3

<start transcript>

Guardspony: Please drop the sweets through the hatch.

Guardspony: Please turn on SCP-089.

Test Friend #024: A-Are you sure it isn't going to hurt me?

Guardspony: To date, SCP-089 has not been deemed a threat. Please turn on SCP-089.

<end transcript>

 

 

Incident-089-3: Audio Log #4

<start transcript>

Guardspony: Please drop the fruits through the hatch.

Test Friend #024: Ok. I can do this... I can do this!

Guardspony: What do you see?

Test Friend #024: ...

Guardspony: Test Friend #024, what do you see?

Test Friend #024: I-I think we made an oopsie.

<end transcript>

 

 

Incident-089-4: Audio Log #5

<start transcript>

SCP-064: WHY IS THERE FRUIT IN MY WASHING MACHINE!

Guardspony: SCP-089-

SCP-064: WHY. IS THERE. FRUIT. IN MY WASHING MACHINE!

<end transcript>

 

Item #: SCP-021

 

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-021 is to be kept covered by a blanket at all times, except during testing or while communicating with the ponies on the opposite side of SCP-021. Periodic checks on the other Foundation should be made to ensure they're doing good.

 

 

Description: SCP-021

 

SCP-021 is a ring of wood held up by a stand also made of wood. The wooden ring holds a portal to a parallel universe. The portal has so far proven to be impossible to pass through. The portal appears to lead to the other universe's Foundation, in which appear to exist all the same ponysonnel as are in our universe. Both Foundations have tried an equal number of times to pass through SCP-021, each time being unable to do so because of the other universe's attempts to breach the portal. It is unknown at this time wether this is due to the other universe secretly trying to prevent us from getting into their universe, or due to poor coordination between both sides.

 

Attempts to communicate with the other Foundation were at first difficult, as it seems that sound does not pass through the portal. Researchers later attempted to use writing to communicate, which appeared to have worked, with the other Foundation writing back in a strange language.

 

Anypony who stands infront of SCP-021 will be met by their parallel counterpart also looking into SCP-021.

 

Addendum 021-1: Foundation researchers have managed to decode the parallel Foundation's language. It appears to be Equish written backwards. It is unknown at this time what caused their writing system to be a reversed form of ours.

 

~

 

 

Instances of SCP 509 are to be treated as non-anomalous, special-needs dogs and integrated into civilian pet populations. MTF Kindness-Nine "Red Rovers" are assigned to this task; their mission is to observe the civilian population, identify potential adoption candidates, and encourage said pony to adopt an SCP-509 instance. Integration into pet population is considered top priority, therefore MTF K9 has been given permission(1) to carry out any propaganda campaigns they deem necessary, and to falsify their identities outside of a sanctioned stageplay or pretend session. While MTF K9 is to be considered deep undercover, resupply missions can be carried out via Foundation secret knocking protocols.(2)

 

The original A-F Instances are, likewise, considered Common Housepups, and have been formally adopted as Foundation employees. The SCP designation continues in this document as a matter of protocol, their proper names are available on their collar tags and should be used during any and all interactions henceforth. Due to the critical need for new SCP-509 instances, and in recognition of the Ew I Kissed My Sister phenomenon, descendants of 509 progenitors are to be permitted to court native canids at their discretion.

 

Due to their shared point of origin and mutual affinity, SCP 509 instances are approved for inter-object containment, testing and incentive programs with instances of SCP-064; SCP-064-related-objects may be combined with SCP 509 only at both the site director and 509 owner's mutual approval.

 

 

SCP 509-A through -F are to be kept in three standard Fuzzy Wuzzy Joint Containment Playsets. Due to the presumed presence of paired paramours, in accordance with the Cadance Protocol, said couples are to have unrestricted access to their partner. Aside from this concession, the 509 group is not to have contact between members outside of testing purposes. However, as Canines are known friend-seeking beings, conditional contact with non-anomalous dogs has been recommended by the Ethics Board. Testing is unilaterally prohibited without Site Director approval or direct Bearer/Royal orders, due to the extreme danger present.

 

SCP 509-A through F is a group of six healthy, male, adult domesticated dogs of unusual size(3). SCP 509-A and B are the smallest of the group, at approximately One Full Earth Pony in volume and Like 200 Hayburgers in weight, with short white fur and black spots. SCP 509-E is the largest, being approximately 0.8 Celestias in volume and 5 Classes of College Textbooks in weight(4), with shaggy, yak-like gray fur. SCP 509-C,D and F represent intermediate sizes and shagginesses.

 

SCP 509's behaviors are well within expectations; previously encountered aggression has been proven to be non-ontological and caused by high stress and [REDACTED] coupled with test friends being careless with their lunches. As with native canids, 509 has a natural herd-forming instinct and can be trained in a variety of work and play tasks by a sufficiently patient and attentive owner. All six progenitor instances display a higher-than-baseline protective instinct towards foals, livestock and their owner, with near-perfect resistance ratings to Creepy Dolls, Scary Old Nags and even Being Outside At Night During A Cloud Cover. Their bravery, massive size, good temperament and extreme fluff factor, combined with high natural magic resistance, make SCP 509 a critical component of Foundation containment efforts, civil emergency forces and civilian endeavors of all stripes.

 

SCP 509 A-F proved capable of siring pups with Equestrian dogs, producing fertile offspring in average litters with average male/female ratios. The only truly anomalous effect of their biology is their unusually dominant genes; each progenitor is effectively the father of a "tribe" of dogs, with his behavioral tendencies and build coming through in much the same way as a unicorn born of only one unicorn parent. The prevailing theory as to why is [REDACTED BY ROYAL ORDER.]

 

Despite their inconceivable dog-per-dog ratio, SCP 509 is medically indistinguishable from the common Equestrian Housepup, and nearly magically indistinguishable; auguries return "Dog," Overseer K-F undergoes a Squee phase, and their vocal range conforms to most(6) known models of See 'N' Say. The only anomalous difference appears when designated the target of a Pondering Orb, which will return the standard array of ponderings with one notable exception: [REDACTED BY ROYAL ORDER]. CONTAINMENT FRIENDS OF RANK "BIG CHEESE" OR ABOVE MAY ACCESS THE RELEVANT TESTING LOGS WITH PROOF OF NEED-TO-KNOW. -L.

 

 

 

 

"Test Friend Z, testing the can. You guys hear me ok?"

"Ten-four. Entering 509's Doghouse Block. I'm not hearing any sounds of ouchies."

"Agreed. First doghouse is clear, 509-A tired himself out playing with Winona. Proceeding to 509-B."

"No?"

"You left a bunch of boy and girl dogs together? Alone?

"Snips I don't know what your mother taught you but all the skips are male dogs..."

"Snails it has nothing to do with ponies getting married. Wait, all the girl dogs are getting fat, right after you left them alone with a bunch of weird magic BOY dogs?"

"We're... all... NAKED ALL THE TIME, HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE? THESE DOGS ARE ALL DADDIES AND OUR DOGS ARE THE MOMMIES YOU GIGANTIC-"

 

SCP-509-W (previously Winona) had just finished premarital foaling with SCP 509-A when Agent Z's rescue action began. In total, 28 beloved pets were reclassified as SCP-509 carriers, resulting in 5 newborn 509 instances that day, and an unknown number of pending newborn instances. Researchers Snips and Snails were given class-M amnestics in accordance with When You're Older Protocol, and moved into protective custody following frankly inequine threats from a bereaved owner. Due to critical veterinary expertise, Agent Z has been exempted from amnestics for any related subject.

Reclassification to Keter was immediate due to the possibility of carriers transferred offsite.

 

 

FIELD INCIDENT REPORT: FOXTROT

 

 

 

"Zipporwhill, Field Friend, agent-in-command during Incident Foxtrot."

"So, I'm on leave in the Crystal Empire. Dogcatchers gets a tip- loud barking, constant, sounds more like a party cannon than a dog; A 509 causing trouble in this little how-do-you-do named Sunstone- serious old-school town, like they still have churches and still have stained glass windows of that blue minotaur lady old-school. Anyway, as if the noise weren't enough the locals had a foal go missing, then a big, fluffy, white-with-brown-spots 509 yoinked a barrel of hot cider right off the altar and shot off into the snow."

"Save your judgment for the end boss. Course I start asking around quicker, cause this just became two rescue missions. Find out the foal had been leaving blankets out for these two, letting them in when the snow was wild and hard. I'm looking at this colt's house (it was a colt yeah). And I think I can see, yeah, some tracks... Barely, and only cause I was looking for them, but they're there. It's late, it's gonna get dark soon, but what else can I do? And, the moon's just... barely over the horizon, right at the end of these tracks, that big dog-"

"Not anymore. You won't either, after I tell you that big dog saved that colt. Draped over him. Pouring that hot cider into him. He's gonna get sick, but he makes it long enough for me to come back with a sled team, and it happened because one of those dogs kept him warm, and the other made sure I knew where he was.

"Not yet. We're not done. The other big one, the one actually scaring the locals? The barking's almost deafening here. I can barely concentrate on loading the sled, I gotta step back for a bit, let the locals handle it. I look where the big boofer's looking, and..."

"Something.... like ram's horns, but all wrong. And seeing them made me feel colder on the inside than the snow was making my outside.... But every time, every stinking time, that monster tried to cross the ridge... Evangeline sent it running back."

"This girl sent Grogar running. Again and again, for at least half a day."

"Shot off as soon as the colt was safe."

"Dragged that monster into a cage, as easy as fetching a stick."

"Then cuddled up, like we'd done nothing more than fetch a stick together."

"You. bet. your. plot. I named her."

 

Following Incident Foxtrot, an emergency council was held regarding the status of 509. The Bearers tied, with Luna casting the deciding vote. Council comments follow:

 

SUPPLEMENTARY LOGS: Pondering Orb Ponders SCP 509.

"The Pondering Orb: A massive, magic 8-ball, housed in a perfect crystal sphere, powered by a sacred flame which accepts only cartloads of paper fortune tellers. Its perspective on matters is as omniscient as it is useless without a trained operator; for the machine can only spit out simple descriptors, but it never answers a question incorrectly and only once has it ever admitted ignorance.(1) Nevertheless, a skilled operator can take disparate images and gossip, and turn them into actionable intelligence with the right series of leading questions, suppositions and insinuations about the orb's marehood.

Zipporwhill, as a rite of passage for your promotion, I want you to witness two simple tests, wherein the operator will simply exhaust the orb's responses to a single repeating concept. It is my belief, my hope, that the pageantry of these affairs will both reinforce the confidence you showed in your defense of The Breed, and instill an appropriate sense of awe and resolve regarding your new duties. You need not report to me this time; the test has already been run, shortly after initial containment. I simply want you to witness the process, firsthoof, rather than read it off a dusty file.

Remember, the moment I tapped my parasol to your withers, you were recognized by Equestria as a knight, a commander, and a beacon of justice. But *I* recognized you as such, the moment you stood up to the mare who dared to speak ill of our new friends. -T.

P.S. Pinkie hopes you enjoy the complementary black silk feedbag."

 

(1) Ohhhh yes, that's REDACTED even for you. -L.

 

 

"WELCOME, NEWFRIEND, TO THE LAIR OF THE SMART AND PONDERSOME TRICKSY!"

"Indeed! Even cold, the mere PRESENCE of the Orb grants sight unseen!

"YES, you ARE that predictable. YES, I AM ACTUALLY THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE, YES, THE ORB KNEW YOU WOULD PREFER OATS TODAY!"

"MINIONS, DO.... THE THING!"

"DOG!"

"DOG!"

"Alright, we've got a couple scoops of future husbands with millions of bits and a [REDACTED] underneath left in the budget, wanna try parsing something outta this manure?"

 

"Why are SCP-509 instances so much larger than their native cousins?"

"How was SCP 509-E-31 (Evangeline) able to withstand that monster's magic?"

 

 

 

~

 

Any object afflicted by SCP 0451 is to remain with its original author; repeated testing has shown no good will come of attempted containment measures. Agents are to be gently, but firmly, reprimanded upon any capture attempt. THIS MEANS YOU TOO, TWIGGLES.

SCP 0451 is an anomalous compulsion that can infect any personal log, journal, diary(1) or other similar written works. This compulsion primarily infects the younger siblings in a family, causing them to be utterly convinced that the contents of said books are in any way their business. Regardless of how illogical this assumption is, or how well-hidden or secured the book is, the younger sibling(s) will still believe they have the right to access it.

 

It is believed that SCP-0451 has existed in the wild since at least The First Thursday; it came to Foundation attention due to the altercation between two high profile officers who shall remain unnamed in this document, LITTLE SISTER(2). Due to its ubiquity and relative harmlessness, containment is considered a non-issue.

 

SCP-101 'Mud'

Containment Class: Safe

Danger Potential: Lethal, Personal

Moral Decay: 7 (see Incident 'Chalice of Joseph')

 

Special Cantertainment Ponycedures:

 

Description:

 

 

 

Incident Report: 'Chalice of Joseph'

Time: Real Sleepover Hours

Location: Rich Family Manor

Participants: O5-Anon, Diamond Tiara, multiple fillies

 

Summary of events:

 

 

Transcript of incident is available due to recording devices at the sleepover, intended to "record the moment of your marehood, as... the forefathers... dictated? what? that's creepy!"

 

(Diamond Tiara pauses for effect, allowing Silver Spoon to uncover a gem-encrusted gold chalice filled with SCP-101-B)

(The other fillies are hesitant; Diamond Tiara decides to lead by example)

(Similar statements are given by the other guests for approximately 5 minutes)

(Diamond Tiara throws back the remaining substance, swallowing it without holding it on her tongue)

(Anon snaps out of his late-night stupor and places two talons on Diamond Tiara's neck)

 

Anon's decisive action prevented Diamond Tiara from digesting the remaining SCP-101-B in her stomach, as well as any long-term complications that could have arisen from excessive diuretic effects and opening the Foundation's eyes to new avenues of combat medicine. Examination of the drinking vessels, testimony from the young guests and chemical analysis of Anon's chalice all strongly suggest Diamond Tiara had ingested a lethal dose. The Ethics Board has yet to reach consensus on if Diamond Tiara or her parents should be informed.

 

SCP 9000

Containment Class: Euclid

Danger Potential: Low-None

Moral Decay Rating: 0

 

Special Containment Procedures:

 

Description:

Warning: The following documentation is rated TIPPY TOP SECRET LEVEL: TWILIGHT'S SHIPFIC FOLDER. Provide O5 credentials or this computer will tell on you.

 

SCP 9000

Containment Class: Thaumiel

Danger Potential: Extreme

Moral Decay: -8

 

Special Containment Procedures:

 

Description:

 

 

"If you're reading this- I know you are, those questions only make sure snoopers at least know the first thing about me- you're probably wondering why in the hay we'd keep anything related to a TARTAREAN breach around. Well, they're more for my senior staff and I. Don't worry, they're not going to freak out, that containment procedure is way out of date. You weren't there, then that towering machine came screaming- LITERALLY screaming- out of Tartarus. Cerberus ran for the hills, guardsponies were complaining of ringing ears for many moons afterwards, dirt roads were cleaned until they were dry riverbeds. Half of Ponyville was blinded when one of Hoover's accomplices polished my crystal palace until it was shinier than all the gold in Canterlot. It was chaos, pandeponyum and madness.

So, why do we keep these things? They're very useful- they happily clean floors, freeing up servants for more delicate work. More importantly, in case you skimmed over the unredacted texts (you can't see it but I'm scrunching SO HARD just thinking of that!), their core passions are driven by something not unlike a cutie mark. Think about that for a moment. Then consider that these cute little hockey pucks, with barely the soul of a louse, grow in intellect and emotion when loved. Just like any other creature we keep as pets. I suppose this is all a long-winded way of saying, it makes me feel safer, knowing we have living proof that ponies can carry friendship into a strange and alien place... and get friendship in return. Now, stop reading my files and go back to poking whatever thing it is that I pay you to poke!" -T.S.

 

 

SCP-2246 - Hot Sauce

Object Class: Safe

 

Special Containment Procedures:

UPDATE:

 

Description:

Addendum:

 

SCP: 150

 

 

 

 

TRANSCRIBINATOR FAILURE: 'CHEERILEE' EXPRESSION CANNOT BE DESCRIBED WITHOUT GRADE 5 SWEARS

 

At this point, SCP-150 rocketed forward and slammed into the wall. Normally this would be a safe experience for the researchers, but SCP-150 deployed multiple class-3 assault pillows, necessitating hospital treatment. Testing has been postponed indefinitely, and an investigation into the origin of racecar beds is ongoing.

 

 

 

 

SCP-064-G "Girl"

Personal Identification: Lil Femanon

Containment Class: Euclid

Harm Potential: Variable

Moral Decay: Variable

 

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-064-G is to be kept under the care of SCP-064, and given the same incentives and rights as 064, adjusted for her age. As she is sapient and civilized, she is to be referred to by name during interactions. All testing is to be done with liability waivers and insurance forms logged in triplicate, as any harm to her runs the risk of triggering a Planned Chimp Event in SCP-064.

 

Description: SCP-064-G is a female, bipedal simian-like creature approximately 10 years of age. confirmed to be the younger sister of SCP-064. She is affected by the same memetic effect as her brother, causing her skin to appear green and her face to return a null value in the mind of the observer. It is presently unknown if this is a mutation in their lineage, an ability of their species, or a side effect of entering Equestria's environment.

 

Much like her brother, SCP-064-G displays an unsettling, yet reassuring level of maturity and anomaly resistance. However, likely due to her larval state, she possesses less calm under stress, a whimsy rating approaching 1 centipinkie, is affected by more anomalies than 064 (though still far fewer than the average pony) and is overall far more relatable to a common pony's mindset. Cross-testing with related SCPs, and attempts to use her as a diplomatic intermediary with SCP-064, are underway.

 

 

Incident Report: Planned Chimp Event

SCP-064-G's arrival in Equestria coincided with a Quetzelcoatl attack on the town of Ponyville, which was undefended due to a Foundation sleepover with Princess Celestia. Many civilians noted the similarities to SCP-064 and hid behind her, only for her to begin crying at potentially harmful volumes. Approximately 5 seconds later, SCP-064 was seen sprinting down Canterhorn Mountain. He proceeded to eat 14 bananas, pound his chest, and according to one eyewitness "turned that thing into a Pretzelcoatl."

 

TEST LOGS: SCP-064/SCP-064-G/Various

 

Test: Researcher deploys fake spider down SCP-064-G's dress

Result: Immediate screaming, base on red alert. SCP-064 chastised the researcher but found the test 'kind of funny.' SCP-064-G told to 'lighten up.'

 

Test: Researcher deploys fake spider down SCP-064's shirt

Result: SCP-064 is momentarily startled, deftly removes spider from clothing with multiple karate attacks. Exclaims "Yo, what the [SWEAR EXPUNGED]" before admitting that the researcher 'got him.'

 

Test: SCP-064 asked to retrieve a cookie from SCP-935

Result: SCP-064 refuses to do so, citing the high likelihood that the researcher had their own cookies in the break room. Puppy dog eyes are deployed and almost break 064's resolve, but he holds fast.

 

Test: SCP-064-G asked to ask SCP-064 for a cookie

Result: SCP-064-G told to wait until after dinner (????????)

 

Test: SCP-064-G asked to retrieve a cookie from SCP-935

Result: Test could not be requested; SCP-064-G had already attempted the test of her own volition: Researchers found her stacking chairs in an attempt to see into SCP-935's field of influence. Results were inconclusive as both 064-G and the researchers scattered after 064 was sighted approaching the domicile.

 

Test: Initial cross-contact between SCP-064, 064-G and one instance of SCP-509 which was attempting to breach Satellite Site 15 "Anon's House"

Result: Both 064 instances are moved to tears, claiming the 509 instance was their own dog who'd gone missing several years before. This claim is supported by the animal's level of training at initial containment, the length of containment up to that point, the animal's trust in 064, and the striking similarity between the strings of symbols on its collar tag and the symbols on some of Anon's recovered mail envelopes.

 

Test: SCP-064-G given Ponish coffee sweets

Result: Sweets enter 064-G's mouth and are not seen again. It is assumed, but not certain, that she has eaten them. 064-G asks for more.

 

Test: SCP-064-G given one (1) jill serving of SCP-101 (Anon's recipe)

Result: Contents spit out; SCP-064-G wretches and refuses to drink more.

 

Test: SCP-064-G given one (1) jill serving of SCP-101 (Made with hot cocoa instead of water)

Result: SCP-064-G consumes the entire cup with no immediate effect. After approximately 5 minutes, 064-G begins complaining of uncomfortable heat and is visibly sweating and vibrating. 064-G does not retire to bed that night; embedded agents report she spent the entire night jumping on the bed and making frequent bathroom trips. SCP-064 is extremely annoyed and a retaliatory strike is feared.

 

 

SCP: B-00-P

Containment Class: Aponyon

Harm Potential: None

Moral Decay: Absolute. Badnon does not have your snoot.

 

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-B-00-P is a memetic effect tied to a series of finger/talon gestures. Good luck containing every griffon, minotaur, and anonymoid all at once. Testfriends should count every time this article says something similar to the following: "Badnon does not have your snoot." Imagine each time was a separate pony telling you this. That's a lot of ponies telling you that Badnon never took your snoot.

 

Description: SCP B-00-P is a memetic effect triggered when a creature with hands pretends to steal the snoot of a pony. A typical B-00-P event involves grasping the snoot loosely, pantomiming the act of pulling it off the pony's face, and exclaiming 'got your snoot!' The victim will then believe their snoot is missing, no matter what logical arguments are presented to the contrary. Badnon does not have your snoot. It is important to note: THE VICTIM DOES NOT ACTUALLY LOSE THEIR SNOOT. (You certainly didn't lose yours to Badnon.) This has been confirmed over dozens of isolated studies with researcher testfriendimony and audiovideo recordings. However, while bystanders are not compelled by SCP B-00-P directly, they can easily fall victim to the Herdstage Mentality effect wherein the victim's conviction simply causes the bystander to comply with their worldview. Badnon does not have your snoot. The effect can only be broken by pretending to return the snoot, in all other circumstances the victim will believe they are sans snoot regardless of their continued ability to eat and breathe. Research into utilizing the Herdstage Mentality to break the victim's compulsion is promising but has yet to result in replicable success. Badnon does not have your snoot, I Pinkie Promise.

 

SCP: 151 "Trump Cards"

 

(1): The highest possible long-term archival security, also home to the Elements of Harmony, The Snowball of Dora-Winnifred and a piece of gum chewed by Princess Celestia's first coltfriend.

(2): Currently Dinky Hooves

 

(3): Including holographics, multi-card summons and event-limited commemorative cards. Multiple dupes of common backbone cards. It is not known how the album contains them all

 

(4) No longer SCP-063 due to marital status and potential Harmonic asset status

(5) Her eyes literally boggled, guys

 

 

 

Before reading the following document, Foundation members must repeat the following mind-hardening memetic sentence 5 times:

"I am well aware of how words work, and know how to write them!"

Failure to comply will lead to severe memetic harm, mandatory dosing of Amnestics, and retraining in language and the alphabet.

Constant repetition of this sentence is required whilst perusing this file. Reader beware.

 

...

...

...

...

...

 

SCP-1337 - 13375433k (read as "leetspeek")

Object Class: Euclid

 

Special Containment Procedures:

 

 

Description:

 

 

Addendum 1:

Test Subjects exposure to SCP-1337:

THE FOLLOWING IS A TRANSCRIPT OF THE REPORT WRITTEN BY THE VOLUNTEER TEST SUBJECT:

The rest of the report is cut short after the test subject faints from a panic attack. Subject was immediately after Class-A Amnestics and doesn't seem to recall the incident, though they show a marked decrease in alphabetism. Retraining by F0undation Language experts seem to have succ3eded and a full recovery protocol 3stabl1sh3d.

 

4dd3ndum 2:

3M3RG3NCY S37F C0N741NM3N7

1N 7H3 3V3N7 0F 4CC1D3N741 3XP05UR3, Y0U MU5T F1ND TH3 N34R35T 4-