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Derpy's box castle

By LocaldurnKanon
Created: 28th November 2021 11:51:20 PM
11th June 2022 07:07:16 PM

  1. >Derpy is actually a whiz when it comes to cardboard boxes and fun arts and crafts projects.
  2. >The last time Anon cleaned out his house and got rid of a bunch of boxes, she practically had her own little castle in his front yard.
  3. >He thought it was cute, so he didn't make her take it down or anything like that.
  4.  
  5. >Because Derpy's little castle was so well done, she can technically be considered a noble.
  6. >The only issue is, she'd be a noble living on someone else's private property, ie, Anon's.
  7. >However, he hasn't done anything to stop her and she keeps going to the castle for her breaks so it was a bit of a tricky situation for those in the government.
  8. >One politician argues that she clearly made a very wonderful castle, so she must be rewarded in SOME way, yes?
  9. >Another says that she can't just take over someone's land.
  10. >So much red tape, so much pondering on rewards or possible issues and they all miss the fact that Anon bakes her cookies on good days...
  11.  
  12. >Anon and Derpy are actually ignorant of what's happening on the political side of things. She was just having fun and Anon thought it was cute as all hell.
  13. >However, technically speaking, she has "protected her castle" at LEAST once.
  14. >But not against Anon.
  15. >Another little Noble, taking the unsavory path of dealing with this apparent "issue", had approached Derpy's Cardboard Castle with the intent to mar its beautiful walls in sharpie.
  16. >Before they could strike, an empty box had simply been dropped over their head and, while submerged in darkness, ran away in a panic.
  17. >She got brownies that day for sticking up to bullies. Anon's brownies were awesome.
  18.  
  19. >>She got brownies for sticking up to bullies.
  20. >While most ponies are very nice, it still doesn't mean that EVERYONE is nice.
  21. >Sometimes a mean pony will come along and pick on Derpy and she was too passive to really do anything about it.
  22. >With Anon's help, however, she slowly but surely stands up for herself and tells bullies off for making fun of her.
  23. >This Noble is just one of few that she has stood up against but it's the only time she's gotten "Physical".
  24. >Anon sees nothing wrong and rewards her all the same.
  25. >Ponies are worried that she was slowly going to go "violent" though as she might as well have dropped some crazy from on top of a real castle instead of just an empty box from a cardboard fort.
  26.  
  27. >Despite Nobles' worries about this apparently new "Nobility" around, Derpy doesn't really, uh...DO much.
  28. >It's just fun to play in her Pretty Castle on her break time as a Mail Mare and hang out with her new friend Anonymous.
  29. >He was SUPER supportive of her "creative side" and one day gave her even MORE boxes to build onto her "glorious castle".
  30. >The next time any Nobles came to see it, it had a sizable extension and dear Mr. Anon himself was in the midst of a tea party with Derpy and her coworkers.
  31. >Suffice it to say, quite the power move in Kinder Higher Up Society.
  32.  
  33. >>Damn straight. Hope to see more of it
  34. >derpy looks like she has the downs and is severely mentally retarded
  35. >she actually is smart as fuck an BTFO's any one who challenges her through a mildly threatening letter.
  36.  
  37. >blackmail
  38. >literally sends out letters in black envelopes
  39. >receivers are too freaked out to even open them
  40.  
  41. >letters are always just asking them to not be so mean
  42. >and maybe they could even be friends
  43. >ends with an invite to enter her castle and join her and anon for tea
  44. >no one ever shows up because they are too scared to read the letters
  45. >sad mail hoers
  46.  
  47. >Establishing your own sovereign state in your garden with Derpy by making a massive box fortress
  48. >The Guard can't even siege it with their inflatable swords and Nerf dart arrows
  49.  
  50. >What started as an innocent Break Time activity ends up as a Mini-Noble Freakout.
  51. >They don't want "New Nobility" anywhere near them, so they send their House Guards to try and harass "New Noble Derpy". It doesn't even take a wild guess to figure out how THAT goes.
  52. >Anon's a nice enough guy but he doesn't like shenanigans on his own front yard, or at least none that he doesn't approve of first. He approved of Derpy's stuff because it was cute and relaxing for her.
  53. >He DOESN'T approve of these little rascals that try and beat on Derpy's "Castle".
  54. >We say "beat on" but it's more "utterly surprised a foam spear can knock down this good cardboard".
  55. >So, he does what any good friend would do for another's cardboard castle: He guards the HELL out of it while Derpy does her Mail Mare stuff.
  56. >He sets up cardboard "walls" around the sucker and even made a fake "dragon" that spewed "fire" whenever he pushed on a pedal.
  57. >Truthfully, all it did was flutter orange and red colored streamers that were attached to the mouth but it was enough to get the House Guard's attention away from the "Castle Walls" for a bit.
  58. >At least long enough for Derpy to come back from work and continue the tea party.
  59. >She makes some damn good tea.

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