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Cipher's Harrowing Holiday

By scraggleman
Created: 2020-12-24 20:13:17
Expiry: Never

  1. Clickity clack clickity clack... tap tap tap... click... click...
  2. >And with that the deed was done.
  3. >You hoped it was enough.
  4. >Just a moment a while ago your friend got off for the night.
  5. >Or at least she though she did.
  6. >She had apparently left her computer on.
  7. >It wasn't too uncommon for her to do that.
  8. >It is thanks to that habit that you know where to send the gift.
  9. >You had heard her mention her address when she was either ordering something or needed something fixed.
  10. >But this today you heard her crying.
  11. >You have no idea why but she sounded absolutely devastated.
  12. >A while before she mentioned she really wanted to buy a venus fly trap but couldn't afford it.
  13. >Hopefully it get's there tomorrow.
  14. >What to do now though?
  15. >No particularly interesting threads on any part of ponechan today.
  16. >A bit too tired to play anything at the moment.
  17. >Don't really feel like working on any of your projects either.
  18. >Maybe you'll just go to sleep.
  19. >You crawl onto your fold up couch.
  20. >You should really fold it out into a bed but it was always such a pain in the ass.
  21. >You'll probably get around to it when your back starts to hurt like it usually ends up doing.
  22. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
  23. >Who could that be?
  24. >You didn't order any food today...
  25. >You look out the peep hole.
  26. >It's a stallion, and he doesn't seem to have food.
  27. >You unlock all the locks and open the door a bit and stick your head out.
  28. >"H-hello?"
  29. >"Hey, Cipher right?"
  30. >WHO THE FUCK IS HE?!
  31. >HOW DOES HE NOW YOUR NAME?!
  32. >OH CELESTIA!
  33. >HE'S ONE OF THOSE GLOW IN THE DARK MOTHER FUCKERS!
  34. >THIS IS HOW IT ENDS!
  35. >I got some of your mail today in my mailbox today.
  36. >Oh...
  37. >He's just a neighbor.
  38. >He gives you some junk mail addressed to you.
  39. >Not sure why he thought you would care about that.
  40. >"Th-thanks"
  41. >Just a "Thanks" and not a "Thank you"? now he's gonna think you hate him.
  42. >Damnit why do you have to over think this shit?
  43. >Wait why is he still standing there?
  44. >"That's not the only reason I came here..."
  45. >What other reason could he possibly have for coming here?
  46. >Hopefully you didn't fuck something up.
  47. >"Some of the other tenants and I are having a Hearths Warming party tomorrow night."
  48. >Oh, he just came to warn you about the noise, that's perfectly-
  49. >"And I came here to invite you!"
  50. >Invite... me? to a party?!
  51. >"I'm not sure if you have anything already planned for tomorrow, but if you can make it we'd be glad to have you!"
  52. >This would have been much easier if he had just come to kill you.
  53. >"I'll uh... see what I can do..." you say, shrinking back behind the door a bit.
  54. >"Well we hope you can make it! if you are able it's down in apartment 36, and it should be starting around 7 or so."
  55. >"G-great" This conversation has gone on longer then you're comfortable with.
  56. >"Hope to see you there!" he says before going down the hall.
  57. >You swiftly shut the door, press you back against it and slide down onto the floor.
  58. >A party?
  59. >You?
  60. >Well... you don't have to go.
  61. >But you were invited to...
  62. >It's not like you're doing anything special that night.
  63. >But that means socializing, and you're terrible at that.
  64. >What are you going to even talk about? Compilers? switch statements? calls to sub routines?
  65. >You are one boring pony.
  66. >Well you have until tomorrow night to figure out what to talk about, or decide whether to not to actually go.
  67. >You do something nice for somepony else and this is how the universe thanks you.
  68. >No good deed goes unpunished you guess.
  69. >Maybe you should go to sleep and gather your thoughts when you wake up.
  70. >You return to your fold up couch and lay down.
  71. >You awake probably 10 hours later, but still lay on that couch.
  72. >Gazing at the ceiling thinking about your options.
  73. >Maybe you shouldn't go...
  74. >It's probably better they don't get to know you and realize what a weirdo you are.
  75. >On the other hand, there is probably free food, and it's probably better then what you've been eating most of the time...
  76. >The prospect of fancy food is pretty enticing.
  77. >Fuck it.
  78. >It will be probably be better then spending your night blowing your baby batter into tissues like usual.
  79. >Damnit, that means taking a shower...
  80. >Just some time to think about what to talk about you guess... and maybe some other things...
  81. >You go to the bathroom and get in the shower.
  82. >That grey-green spot has gotten bigger...
  83. >Whatever, you have more pressing matters at hoof.
  84. >You soap yourself up and start scrubbing.
  85. >While doing so you remember that mare who was in front of you at the convenience store with the piercings...
  86. >Well why not?
  87. >Maybe it'll keep you from popping a boner at the party, at least for a while anyway.
  88. >Afterwards you turn off the water and shake yourself off before stepping out.
  89. >You stepo out of the bathroom and look at the clock.
  90. >5:53 PM
  91. >Shit, seems your shower thoughts took longer then you thought.
  92. >You still have about an hour...
  93. >You still don't have idea what to talk about...
  94. >Guess you'll just have to wing it.
  95. >Just gotta remember not to drop any Z bombs.
  96. >As long as you don't do that, you should hopefully be fine.
  97. >With much better things to do you instead decide to browse ponechan a bit instead of using your time wisely to think up things to talk about.
  98. >You look at the time.
  99. >6:48
  100. >Better get going...
  101. >With a deep breath you step out into the hallway and head towards the stairs.
  102. >The elevator works perfectly fine but you're trying to buy some time.
  103. >Well, here you are... apartment 36.
  104. >You can hear lots talking from inside.
  105. >This is going to be rough.
  106. >Another heavy sigh.
  107. >You knock on the door.
  108. >The pony who invited answers the door.
  109. >"Cipher! you made it!"
  110. >"Hey..."
  111. >Uhh...
  112. >YOU FORGOT HIS NAME?!
  113. >Wait... did he even tell you his name?
  114. >You freeze up
  115. >Off to great start already
  116. >"Sunny! Where are the extra cups?"
  117. >He looks back at a pink mare with blue hair.
  118. >"Oh, hello there." She approaches you you.
  119. >"Hey, Candy! this is Cipher, he lives on your floor."
  120. >She shakes your hoof.
  121. >Oh shit, a mare touched you.
  122. >"It's nice to meet you!" She says.
  123. >"It-it's n-nice to meet you t-too"
  124. >Probably a good thing you took a long shower.
  125. >Popping a boner over a hoofshake would make for a terrible first impression.
  126. >"Come on in, come on in!" Sunny says as he ushers you in.
  127. >"There is food over on that table there" Candy point over to a large table covered in various snacks and drinks.
  128. >"Now if you'll excuse me, Sunny and I need to find the cups." She turns around and heads to what you guess is the kitchen with Sunny.
  129. >Now it's just you and a bunch of ponies in a stranger's living room.
  130. >You carefully make your way to the food.
  131. >Lots to choose from.
  132. >As you decide what to snack on something bumps into you.
  133. >A very pink mare has backed into you.
  134. >Oh sweet Celestia, another mare touched you.
  135. >This time with her butt.
  136. >You touched a mares butt!
  137. >Uh oh.
  138. >A twitch.
  139. >"Ohmygosh! I'm sorry!"
  140. >That voice sounds familiar...
  141. >As she turned to face you catch a glimpse of her cutie mark.
  142. >Balloons.
  143. >It couldn't be...
  144. >You look at the mares face.
  145. >It looks like her...
  146. >But her mane is different...
  147. >It's flattened out, not wild and curly.
  148. >The resemblance and cutie mark are pretty uncanny though.
  149. >"Hi! I'm Pi- Party Favor!" She says.
  150. >"H-hey, I'm C-Cipher"
  151. >"It's so nice to meet you Cipher! Are you having a good time?"
  152. >"Um, y-yeah! A great time!" You did get to touch a mares butt, so it is going pretty well.
  153. >"Ooooh! what do we have here?!" she looks at the table of goodies and get distracted picking out things to eat.
  154. >You can't believe you thought Pinkie Pie would be here.
  155. >Could you imagine?
  156. >Touching Pinkie Pie's butt?
  157. >How soft and warm it would be as you...
  158. >WAIT
  159. >NO
  160. >STAHP
  161. >You quickly grab a plate and start focusing on the food on the table.
  162. >There was quite a bit to choose from.
  163. >Baked goods, fancy crackers and cheeses and veggie platters.
  164. >A lot of choices to distract you from boner thoughts.
  165. >"Hello there!"
  166. >You turn to see a burly blue stallion holding out his hoof.
  167. >"H-hi" You say as you reach out to meet his hoof.
  168. >Upon contact he starts violently shaking it as he introduces himself.
  169. >"Rusty Wrench! Plumber by trade"
  170. >"Oh... n-neat." he's going to tear your arm off at this rate.
  171. >"How about you?"
  172. >How about I wha- OH
  173. >"Cipher, I'm a uhhh... programmer"
  174. >"Really?" he finally lets go of your hoof.
  175. >"What do you program?" He seems genuinely interested.
  176. >"Uhh... well, a lot of scripts automate various tasks to allow ponies to focus on more important tasks that can't or shouldn't be automated."
  177. >"Huh, that sounds pretty fancy"
  178. >Those kinda of things were pretty basic, but you suppose that would sound pretty fancy if you had no knowledge of programming.
  179. >"Oh hey, is that hummus?"
  180. >He moves past you and starts plopping some dollops of Hummus on a plate while striking up a conversation with Party Favor.
  181. >Whew...
  182. >All this excitement has got your bladder worked up.
  183. >You go in search of the bathroom.
  184. >Fortunately you don't need to ask anyone where it is.
  185. >You go in and lock the door and turn the handle to be absolutely sure it's locked.
  186. >As you start relieving yourself you notice Sunny's choice of bathroom reading.
  187. >Neighshonal Geographic.
  188. >Huh... Wonder if he's got any with Zeeb titties?
  189. >After you finish you take a look.
  190. >Oh yeah he does...
  191. >OH CELESTIA DAMNIT!
  192. >It's fine, a little chub, but nothing that won't go down in a bit.
  193. >You put the magazine back and flush the toilet.
  194. >Huh...
  195. >Isn't the water supposed to go down?
  196. >You flush it again.
  197. >Uhhh...
  198. >Uh oh...
  199. >It's rising really fast.
  200. >SHIT
  201. >PANIC TIME
  202. >You find the plunger and start pumping.
  203. >Nothing.
  204. >How did this happen?!
  205. >All did was take a piss!
  206. >Wait... Rusty!
  207. >You step out of the bathroom and bump into Sunny.
  208. >"Hey Cipher! having a good time?"
  209. >Not at this moment.
  210. >"Umm, the uhh... the bathroom... umm... I uhh..." It's kinda hard to admit to your host you may have flooded his bathroom.
  211. >He look's confused.
  212. >He looks into the bathroom.
  213. >"OH DAMNIT!"
  214. >That's it, he hates you now.
  215. >You fucked up his nice bathroom.
  216. >And now everypony is going to know you as the guy who ruined the Hearths Warming party.
  217. >Your face is burning up.
  218. >Rusty comes over and looks inside.
  219. >"I told him that pipe was still fucked up from last year! Shoulda just taken care of it myself."
  220. >What?
  221. >It wasn't your fault?
  222. >Oh thank Celestia!
  223. >"Crap, we're gonna have to end the party early..."
  224. >It just keeps getting better!
  225. >"Everpony! could I get your attention!?"
  226. >Everypony turns to Sunny as he explains the situation.
  227. >"If some of you could stick around and help clean up that would be great!"
  228. >Your first instinct is to say "Fuck that" and sneak out.
  229. >But
  230. >They did invite you and you did have a nice time...
  231. >You could help out, if just for a little bit
  232. >You help by piling towels in front of the bathroom door to help soak up the flood from the toilet.
  233. >Rusty apparently went to the root of the problem in the basement, swearing the whole way out.
  234. >Afterwards Candy gives you a wrapped plate
  235. >"A little something for you to snack on when you get home" she says.
  236. >"Th-thank you." That was really nice, especially since you didn't actually get to eat anything.
  237. >"Oh and here." Sunny gives you a brightly colored bag.
  238. >"Just a little Hearths Warming present."
  239. >You grab it by the handle with your mouth.
  240. >"Shank yoush"
  241. >"See ya later! Don't be stranger now!" Sunny says as you head out.
  242. >You wave to him as you leave.
  243. >That was awfully nice of him.
  244. >Upon returning home you set the plate down on the counter and drop the bag gently on the floor and look inside.
  245. >A fancy cheese, cracker and mustard box alongside a a festive coffee mug.
  246. >This whole thing went a lot better then it probably should have.
  247. >You didn't make a huge ass of yourself and kinda made some... acquaintances.
  248. >Probably a bit too early to call them friends just yet.
  249. >And now that you're in the privacy of your own home...
  250. >You can resume that thought about Pinkie Pie's soft round ass.
  251.  
  252. END

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