Cipher's Harrowing Holiday


                                            Clickity clack clickity clack... tap tap tap... click... click...

                                            >And with that the deed was done.

                                            >You hoped it was enough.

                                            >Just a moment a while ago your friend got off for the night.

                                            >Or at least she though she did.

                                            >She had apparently left her computer on.

                                            >It wasn't too uncommon for her to do that.

                                            >It is thanks to that habit that you know where to send the gift.

                                            >You had heard her mention her address when she was either ordering something or needed something fixed.

                                            >But this today you heard her crying.

                                            >You have no idea why but she sounded absolutely devastated.

                                            >A while before she mentioned she really wanted to buy a venus fly trap but couldn't afford it.

                                            >Hopefully it get's there tomorrow.

                                            >What to do now though?

                                            >No particularly interesting threads on any part of ponechan today.

                                            >A bit too tired to play anything at the moment.

                                            >Don't really feel like working on any of your projects either.

                                            >Maybe you'll just go to sleep.

                                            >You crawl onto your fold up couch.

                                            >You should really fold it out into a bed but it was always such a pain in the ass.

                                            >You'll probably get around to it when your back starts to hurt like it usually ends up doing.

                                            KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

                                            >Who could that be?

                                            >You didn't order any food today...

                                            >You look out the peep hole.

                                            >It's a stallion, and he doesn't seem to have food.

                                            >You unlock all the locks and open the door a bit and stick your head out.

                                            >"H-hello?"

                                            >"Hey, Cipher right?"

                                            >WHO THE FUCK IS HE?!

                                            >HOW DOES HE NOW YOUR NAME?!

                                            >OH CELESTIA!

                                            >HE'S ONE OF THOSE GLOW IN THE DARK MOTHER FUCKERS!

                                            >THIS IS HOW IT ENDS!

                                            >I got some of your mail today in my mailbox today.

                                            >Oh...

                                            >He's just a neighbor.

                                            >He gives you some junk mail addressed to you.

                                            >Not sure why he thought you would care about that.

                                            >"Th-thanks"

                                            >Just a "Thanks" and not a "Thank you"? now he's gonna think you hate him.

                                            >Damnit why do you have to over think this shit?

                                            >Wait why is he still standing there?

                                            >"That's not the only reason I came here..."

                                            >What other reason could he possibly have for coming here?

                                            >Hopefully you didn't fuck something up.

                                            >"Some of the other tenants and I are having a Hearths Warming party tomorrow night."

                                            >Oh, he just came to warn you about the noise, that's perfectly-

                                            >"And I came here to invite you!"

                                            >Invite... me? to a party?!

                                            >"I'm not sure if you have anything already planned for tomorrow, but if you can make it we'd be glad to have you!"

                                            >This would have been much easier if he had just come to kill you.

                                            >"I'll uh... see what I can do..." you say, shrinking back behind the door a bit.

                                            >"Well we hope you can make it! if you are able it's down in apartment 36, and it should be starting around 7 or so."

                                            >"G-great" This conversation has gone on longer then you're comfortable with.

                                            >"Hope to see you there!" he says before going down the hall.

                                            >You swiftly shut the door, press you back against it and slide down onto the floor.

                                            >A party?

                                            >You?

                                            >Well... you don't have to go.

                                            >But you were invited to...

                                            >It's not like you're doing anything special that night.

                                            >But that means socializing, and you're terrible at that.

                                            >What are you going to even talk about? Compilers? switch statements? calls to sub routines?

                                            >You are one boring pony.

                                            >Well you have until tomorrow night to figure out what to talk about, or decide whether to not to actually go.

                                            >You do something nice for somepony else and this is how the universe thanks you.

                                            >No good deed goes unpunished you guess.

                                            >Maybe you should go to sleep and gather your thoughts when you wake up.

                                            >You return to your fold up couch and lay down.

                                            >You awake probably 10 hours later, but still lay on that couch.

                                            >Gazing at the ceiling thinking about your options.

                                            >Maybe you shouldn't go...

                                            >It's probably better they don't get to know you and realize what a weirdo you are.

                                            >On the other hand, there is probably free food, and it's probably better then what you've been eating most of the time...

                                            >The prospect of fancy food is pretty enticing.

                                            >Fuck it.

                                            >It will be probably be better then spending your night blowing your baby batter into tissues like usual.

                                            >Damnit, that means taking a shower...

                                            >Just some time to think about what to talk about you guess... and maybe some other things...

                                            >You go to the bathroom and get in the shower.

                                            >That grey-green spot has gotten bigger...

                                            >Whatever, you have more pressing matters at hoof.

                                            >You soap yourself up and start scrubbing.

                                            >While doing so you remember that mare who was in front of you at the convenience store with the piercings...

                                            >Well why not?

                                            >Maybe it'll keep you from popping a boner at the party, at least for a while anyway.

                                            >Afterwards you turn off the water and shake yourself off before stepping out.

                                            >You stepo out of the bathroom and look at the clock.

                                            >5:53 PM

                                            >Shit, seems your shower thoughts took longer then you thought.

                                            >You still have about an hour...

                                            >You still don't have idea what to talk about...

                                            >Guess you'll just have to wing it.

                                            >Just gotta remember not to drop any Z bombs.

                                            >As long as you don't do that, you should hopefully be fine.

                                            >With much better things to do you instead decide to browse ponechan a bit instead of using your time wisely to think up things to talk about.

                                            >You look at the time.

                                            >6:48

                                            >Better get going...

                                            >With a deep breath you step out into the hallway and head towards the stairs.

                                            >The elevator works perfectly fine but you're trying to buy some time.

                                            >Well, here you are... apartment 36.

                                            >You can hear lots talking from inside.

                                            >This is going to be rough.

                                            >Another heavy sigh.

                                            >You knock on the door.

                                            >The pony who invited answers the door.

                                            >"Cipher! you made it!"

                                            >"Hey..."

                                            >Uhh...

                                            >YOU FORGOT HIS NAME?!

                                            >Wait... did he even tell you his name?

                                            >You freeze up

                                            >Off to great start already

                                            >"Sunny! Where are the extra cups?"

                                            >He looks back at a pink mare with blue hair.

                                            >"Oh, hello there." She approaches you you.

                                            >"Hey, Candy! this is Cipher, he lives on your floor."

                                            >She shakes your hoof.

                                            >Oh shit, a mare touched you.

                                            >"It's nice to meet you!" She says.

                                            >"It-it's n-nice to meet you t-too"

                                            >Probably a good thing you took a long shower.

                                            >Popping a boner over a hoofshake would make for a terrible first impression.

                                            >"Come on in, come on in!" Sunny says as he ushers you in.

                                            >"There is food over on that table there" Candy point over to a large table covered in various snacks and drinks.

                                            >"Now if you'll excuse me, Sunny and I need to find the cups." She turns around and heads to what you guess is the kitchen with Sunny.

                                            >Now it's just you and a bunch of ponies in a stranger's living room.

                                            >You carefully make your way to the food.

                                            >Lots to choose from.

                                            >As you decide what to snack on something bumps into you.

                                            >A very pink mare has backed into you.

                                            >Oh sweet Celestia, another mare touched you.

                                            >This time with her butt.

                                            >You touched a mares butt!

                                            >Uh oh.

                                            >A twitch.

                                            >"Ohmygosh! I'm sorry!"

                                            >That voice sounds familiar...

                                            >As she turned to face you catch a glimpse of her cutie mark.

                                            >Balloons.

                                            >It couldn't be...

                                            >You look at the mares face.

                                            >It looks like her...

                                            >But her mane is different...

                                            >It's flattened out, not wild and curly.

                                            >The resemblance and cutie mark are pretty uncanny though.

                                            >"Hi! I'm Pi- Party Favor!" She says.

                                            >"H-hey, I'm C-Cipher"

                                            >"It's so nice to meet you Cipher! Are you having a good time?"

                                            >"Um, y-yeah! A great time!" You did get to touch a mares butt, so it is going pretty well.

                                            >"Ooooh! what do we have here?!" she looks at the table of goodies and get distracted picking out things to eat.

                                            >You can't believe you thought Pinkie Pie would be here.

                                            >Could you imagine?

                                            >Touching Pinkie Pie's butt?

                                            >How soft and warm it would be as you...

                                            >WAIT

                                            >NO

                                            >STAHP

                                            >You quickly grab a plate and start focusing on the food on the table.

                                            >There was quite a bit to choose from.

                                            >Baked goods, fancy crackers and cheeses and veggie platters.

                                            >A lot of choices to distract you from boner thoughts.

                                            >"Hello there!"

                                            >You turn to see a burly blue stallion holding out his hoof.

                                            >"H-hi" You say as you reach out to meet his hoof.

                                            >Upon contact he starts violently shaking it as he introduces himself.

                                            >"Rusty Wrench! Plumber by trade"

                                            >"Oh... n-neat." he's going to tear your arm off at this rate.

                                            >"How about you?"

                                            >How about I wha- OH

                                            >"Cipher, I'm a uhhh... programmer"

                                            >"Really?" he finally lets go of your hoof.

                                            >"What do you program?" He seems genuinely interested.

                                            >"Uhh... well, a lot of scripts automate various tasks to allow ponies to focus on more important tasks that can't or shouldn't be automated."

                                            >"Huh, that sounds pretty fancy"

                                            >Those kinda of things were pretty basic, but you suppose that would sound pretty fancy if you had no knowledge of programming.

                                            >"Oh hey, is that hummus?"

                                            >He moves past you and starts plopping some dollops of Hummus on a plate while striking up a conversation with Party Favor.

                                            >Whew...

                                            >All this excitement has got your bladder worked up.

                                            >You go in search of the bathroom.

                                            >Fortunately you don't need to ask anyone where it is.

                                            >You go in and lock the door and turn the handle to be absolutely sure it's locked.

                                            >As you start relieving yourself you notice Sunny's choice of bathroom reading.

                                            >Neighshonal Geographic.

                                            >Huh... Wonder if he's got any with Zeeb titties?

                                            >After you finish you take a look.

                                            >Oh yeah he does...

                                            >OH CELESTIA DAMNIT!

                                            >It's fine, a little chub, but nothing that won't go down in a bit.

                                            >You put the magazine back and flush the toilet.

                                            >Huh...

                                            >Isn't the water supposed to go down?

                                            >You flush it again.

                                            >Uhhh...

                                            >Uh oh...

                                            >It's rising really fast.

                                            >SHIT

                                            >PANIC TIME

                                            >You find the plunger and start pumping.

                                            >Nothing.

                                            >How did this happen?!

                                            >All did was take a piss!

                                            >Wait... Rusty!

                                            >You step out of the bathroom and bump into Sunny.

                                            >"Hey Cipher! having a good time?"

                                            >Not at this moment.

                                            >"Umm, the uhh... the bathroom... umm... I uhh..." It's kinda hard to admit to your host you may have flooded his bathroom.

                                            >He look's confused.

                                            >He looks into the bathroom.

                                            >"OH DAMNIT!"

                                            >That's it, he hates you now.

                                            >You fucked up his nice bathroom.

                                            >And now everypony is going to know you as the guy who ruined the Hearths Warming party.

                                            >Your face is burning up.

                                            >Rusty comes over and looks inside.

                                            >"I told him that pipe was still fucked up from last year! Shoulda just taken care of it myself."

                                            >What?

                                            >It wasn't your fault?

                                            >Oh thank Celestia!

                                            >"Crap, we're gonna have to end the party early..."

                                            >It just keeps getting better!

                                            >"Everpony! could I get your attention!?"

                                            >Everypony turns to Sunny as he explains the situation.

                                            >"If some of you could stick around and help clean up that would be great!"

                                            >Your first instinct is to say "Fuck that" and sneak out.

                                            >But

                                            >They did invite you and you did have a nice time...

                                            >You could help out, if just for a little bit

                                            >You help by piling towels in front of the bathroom door to help soak up the flood from the toilet.

                                            >Rusty apparently went to the root of the problem in the basement, swearing the whole way out.

                                            >Afterwards Candy gives you a wrapped plate

                                            >"A little something for you to snack on when you get home" she says.

                                            >"Th-thank you." That was really nice, especially since you didn't actually get to eat anything.

                                            >"Oh and here." Sunny gives you a brightly colored bag.

                                            >"Just a little Hearths Warming present."

                                            >You grab it by the handle with your mouth.

                                            >"Shank yoush"

                                            >"See ya later! Don't be stranger now!" Sunny says as you head out.

                                            >You wave to him as you leave.

                                            >That was awfully nice of him.

                                            >Upon returning home you set the plate down on the counter and drop the bag gently on the floor and look inside.

                                            >A fancy cheese, cracker and mustard box alongside a a festive coffee mug.

                                            >This whole thing went a lot better then it probably should have.

                                            >You didn't make a huge ass of yourself and kinda made some... acquaintances.

                                            >Probably a bit too early to call them friends just yet.

                                            >And now that you're in the privacy of your own home...

                                            >You can resume that thought about Pinkie Pie's soft round ass.


                                            END