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Rammstein's Bizarre Adventure chapter 1: Heartbreakers are everywhere

By AceSorou
Created: 2020-12-28 16:26:32
Expiry: Never
applejacktwilight sparkleequestria girls/jojo/sfwaction/adventuresuperpowersepisodic

  1. >Guess your name's important now.
  2. >You are Erich Rammstein.
  3. >You sit at a park bench, in broad daylight.
  4. >It's your day to relax, and nothing's gonna ruin it.
  5. >You lean back on the bench, sighing as the warm sun and gentle breeze hit you.
  6. >Suddenly, you hear the chorus to one of your favorite songs playing.
  7. >[spoiler]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RT7nzkWHH1U[/spoiler]
  8. >Dammit, who could be calling you today?
  9. >You pull out your cellphone, and check the number.
  10. >Oh scheiße, it's your mom!
  11. >You answer it.
  12. "Hallo, Mutter. Wie gehts?"
  13. >"And Hallo to you too, Eric. I'm glad you're still practicing your German."
  14. >You grin.
  15. "Yes, well, it is a powerful language. Half the words seriously sound angry."
  16. >"Yes, well, I'm sure your father would've liked to know that you're learning the language of his homeland."
  17. >You hear her voice crack on the last word.
  18. >Oh, mom.
  19. >She always gets depressed when she remembers dad.
  20. >You missed dad too, but you had to be strong for your mom's sake.
  21. "Dry your tears, Mutter. Vater cared about us deeply, and I doubt he would want us to frown."
  22. >You hear a tearful laugh come from the other end.
  23. >"Oh, Eric. I'm fine, but it's sweet of you to worry about your mother like that."
  24. >Nailed it.
  25. >You hear her clear her throat.
  26. >"Where are you now?"
  27. "Oh, I'm at the park. Just enjoying the day."
  28. >"Perfect! It sounds like you can watch your sister for a bit."
  29. >Was?
  30. >"And talk about luck! We're nearby! I'll drop her off with you in a couple minutes!"
  31. >Was?!
  32. >You shoot up out of your seat.
  33. "Wait, Mutter-"
  34. >"Oh, crud! I'm about to pass a cop! Bye, honey, I love you!"
  35. >The line goes dead.
  36. >...
  37. >She trapped you.
  38. >You look down at you jacket, placing a hand on your hat.
  39. >Fuck, you weren't planning on seeing your mom today.
  40. >And she doesn't know about your political beliefs.
  41. >You quickly strip both of them off, and duck behind a tree.
  42. >Summoning [BENZIN], you give them to your Stand, and let it go back into the shadows.
  43. >Guess now you wait.
  44.  
  45. >You come out from behind the tree, watching the trails expectantly.
  46. >After about a minute, you get a text from your mom.
  47. >She wants you to meet at the entrance of the park.
  48. >Sure, why not.
  49. >You put away your phone as you begin to walk towards the entrance...
  50. >...and collide with a girl going the opposite direction.
  51. >Both of you fall to the ground, and you quickly get up to dust yourself off.
  52. >You look over at the yellow girl who bumped into you.
  53. >Pink hair with a teal streak, and her uniform indicated she was a crystal prep student.
  54. >As you go to offer your hand, she mumbles.
  55. >"Why don't you watch where you're going, Jackass."
  56. >Was wor das?
  57. >You lower your hand.
  58. "What did you say to me?"
  59. >She suddenly stands up, giving you an innocent smile.
  60. >"Oh, nothing. I'm sure anyone could be distracted by the serene beauty of the park."
  61. >You're detecting a lot of sarcasm in her voice.
  62. >This fucking bitch.
  63. "Look, if you got a problem with me, come out and say it."
  64. >She glares at you.
  65. >"My problem is with jackasses like you who can't get their damn head out of the clouds long enough to notice people who're around them!"
  66. >Implying.
  67. >You hardly moved. If anyone is at fault here, it's her.
  68. >You turn away with a harrumph.
  69. "Whatever. I don't have time for this."
  70. >She rolls her eyes.
  71. >"Oh, I'm sure you have a million better things to do than apologize for screwing up."
  72. >Her sweet voice is not very endearing.
  73. >You pass her, bumping her shoulder out of spite.
  74. >You hear her yelling after you.
  75. >"Hey! You better get back here if you know what's good for you!"
  76. >You flip her off, not even turning to look at her.
  77. >Let her screech. You got better things to do.
  78.  
  79. >You are Sour Sweet.
  80. >And right now, you are pissed.
  81. >Who does that asshole think he is?!
  82. >He just flipped you off, after running into you!
  83. >Doesn't he know who you are?!
  84. >He should be grovelling at your feet, begging for your forgiveness.
  85. >Instead, he's walking away!
  86. >How dare he disrespect you!
  87. >How dare he knock you down!
  88. >Oh, but he will pay.
  89. >You and your Stand will see to that…
  90.  
  91. >You're Erich Rammstein.
  92. >After leaving the bitch of Crystal Prep behind, you made a beeline for the park entrance.
  93. >There, your mother waved you down.
  94. >Making your way towards her, your little sister catches sight of you.
  95. >With a smile, she runs up to give you a hug.
  96. >”Ricky Ricky Ricky!”
  97. >She collides with you, wrapping her little arms around your waist.
  98. >With a smirk, you put a hand on her head.
  99. >She looks up at you to grin, and you pick her up.
  100. >”Ricky, look! I lost a tooth!”
  101. >She points at the empty space in her mouth where her canine used to be.
  102. >You bounce her with a smile.
  103. “That's great, Engel. Did the tooth fairy give you some money for it?”
  104. >She nods quickly.
  105. >”Uh huh. She even gave me a note telling me how proud she is that I'm taking care of my teeth!”
  106. “Well I'm proud of you too, squirt.”
  107. >Ever since Dad died, your little sister looked up to you as the father figure in her life.
  108. >Since then, the two of you have become really close.
  109. >You don't mind her hanging around, but you don't think she's ready to learn the truth about history.
  110. >Not as you know it, anyway.
  111. >Your mom comes up, and gives the both of you a hug.
  112. >”Thanks for watching Angel for me, Rick. She'd be bored waiting an hour while I'm at the spa.”
  113. >Embarrassed, you start trying to push her off of you.
  114. “Mutter, Bitte! We're in public!"
  115.  
  116. >Your mom breaks the hug, and waves at the two of you.
  117. >”Have fun kids! I'll see you after my appointment!”
  118. >Angel waves after her.
  119. >”Bye-bye, mommy!”
  120. >You watch her get in the car, and drive off.
  121. >After she's gone, you look at Angel.
  122. “Hey, squirt. If I knock out some teeth, think the tooth fairy will give you more money?”
  123. >She pouts.
  124. >”They have to fall out on their own, Ricky! And I'll tell mommy that you hit me!”
  125. “C'mon, it's a business proposal. The more teeth fall out, the more money you get.”
  126. >She sticks her tongue out at you.
  127. >You laugh, giving her a noogie.
  128. “Wanna go to the playground?”
  129. >She nods, and you begin to carry her over.
  130. >As you go back in the park, you catch sight of the Crystal Prep bitch.
  131. >She's staring at you, menacingly.
  132. >Before you can go to confront her, she turns, and begins walking away from the park.
  133. >... Good. You don't wanna deal with her bullshit right now.
  134.  
  135. >You're sitting at a bench, keeping an eye on Angel.
  136. >She's on the playground with some other kids.
  137. >They seem to be having fun.
  138. >You decide to continue reading your magazine.
  139. >Oh, wow. The new Destiny game's coming out next month.
  140.  
  141. >You're Angel Rammstein.
  142. >And you just made a new friend.
  143. >Her name is Gioia Zeppeli.
  144. >And she's teaching you this game where you spin around.
  145. >You don't really get it, but it's fun.
  146. >She's got another friend.
  147. >Joan Higa…
  148. >Huggy-she…
  149. >Something like that.
  150. >Well, she's your friend now, too. So you call her JoJo.
  151.  
  152. >You and your new friends are just spinning around, minding your own business.
  153. >And this group of boys come up to you.
  154. >Boys are icky.
  155. >And these boys are the ickiest.
  156. >One of them has a basketball on his shirt.
  157. >He comes up, and shouts at the three of you.
  158. >”Get out of here! This is our part of the playground!”
  159. >”Yeah! No girls allowed!”
  160. >You stop, and put on your meanest face.
  161. “No! We were here first! Go somewhere else!”
  162. >”Yeah,” says JoJo. “It's not your playground anyway!”
  163. >The biggest boy steps up to you.
  164. >He's wearing a shirt with a dumbbell on it.
  165. >”Aww, is the baby girl being tough? Get lost, or we'll beat you up!”
  166. >This meanie! He deserves what you're gonna do!
  167. >You look and make sure your big brother isn't watching.
  168. >Good, he's still reading.
  169. >You turn back to the boy.
  170. “[ROCK YOU]!”
  171. >Your Stand comes out.
  172. >It's a pink bunny person who looks like a girl knight.
  173. >[ROCK YOU] punches the boy all over his body.
  174. >”Ayiyiyiyiyiyiyi!”
  175. >He doesn't know what happened, but he's frozen solid.
  176. >[ROCK YOU] pushes him over, and he falls like a rock.
  177. >The other two boys look at their friend, and run away, scared and confused.
  178. >The big boy will be okay later.
  179. >You look over at your friends, and they look surprised.
  180. >Oh, no. Can they see [ROCK YOU]?
  181. >Suddenly, they both have big smiles.
  182. >They speak in unison.
  183. >”You have a punchy ghost too?!”
  184. >>”You have a punchy ghost too?!”
  185.  
  186. >Grinning, you nod.
  187. “Yeah. And so does my big brother, but he calls them Stands.”
  188. >JoJo smiles widely.
  189. >”Coooool! Our daddies have punchy ghosts, too!”
  190. >”And we do, too, but we never told our parents.”
  191. >You nod.
  192. “Yeah, Ricky says we can't let mommy know we have Stands. I don't-”
  193. >”Engel Rammstein! Kommen sie hier, junge Dame!” [spoiler]Angel Rammstein! Come here, young lady![/spoiler]
  194. >Oh, no.
  195. >Big brother saw you use your Stand.
  196. >You're gonna be grounded.
  197.  
  198. >You're Erich Rammstein again.
  199. >And fich, you need to get out of here.
  200. >Angel just used her Stand.
  201. >And you distinctly remember her promising that she would only use it in an emergency.
  202. >It didn't look like an emergency from this angle.
  203. >Angel approaches you, looking downtrodden.
  204. >She knows what she did was wrong.
  205. >And now she's waiting in front of you, expecting you to chastise her.
  206. >You take a deep breath.
  207. “Engel, do you remember your promise?”
  208. >She slowly nods.
  209. “What was it?”
  210. >”I promised not to use my Stand unless I was in danger.”
  211. “And were you in danger.”
  212. >”Yes!” She exclaims quickly.
  213. >You fold your arms.
  214. “Engel, don't lie.”
  215. >She looks down, kicking the dirt.
  216. >”No…”
  217. “Then why did you use your [ROCK YOU]?”
  218. >”But those boys were being mean! And they were threatening to beat us up!”
  219. “And why didn't you come get me?”
  220. >”I wanted to be a big girl!”
  221. “Engel.”
  222. >”...I wanted to look cool in front of my new friends.”
  223.  
  224. >You sigh, and take a knee.
  225. “Engel, I’m not angry at you.”
  226. >You place a hand on her arm.
  227. “But normal people don't have Stands. That means we're better than normal people. And it's because we're better, that we have to do what's right. And attacking people who are weaker than you is not right. That's why you can't use your Stand on the Normies unless it's an emergency. Alright?”
  228. >Angel nods solemnly.
  229. >”But what about my friends?”
  230. >You sigh.
  231. “I'm sorry, mein lieb. But you're going to have to say goodbye to them.”
  232. >She rips away from you, her face contorting in sorrow.
  233. >“N-no! They have Stands, too!”
  234. >Was?
  235. >...No, she's just saying that.
  236. “Engel, I told you not to lie.”
  237. >”No, it's true! They saw [ROCK YOU], and they even said they have them!”
  238. >Really?
  239. >As you go to say something else, you hear a man clear his throat behind you.
  240. >Looking back, you see the fathers of the two girls Angel was playing with.
  241. >...Well, shit.
  242. >You hope things don't get any more complicated.
  243.  
  244. >...
  245. >They turned out to be really nice guys.
  246. >They saw Angel's Stand, and had a few questions.
  247. >They were Stand users as well, and had moved here recently.
  248. >They didn't know their daughters had Stands, though.
  249. >But after a short talk, it was agreed that it was best for everyone involved to stay in contact.
  250. >The guy with the pompadour was really glad his daughter found friends that were like her.
  251. >The other guy, though strange in behavior, also seemed to have his daughter's interest at heart.
  252. >You honestly couldn't find a reason not to exchange your contact information.
  253. >Maybe it's best for Angel to have friends who are Stand users, as well.
  254. >You ended up arranging a playdate for Angel.
  255. >But that doesn't mean she's not being grounded.
  256.  
  257. >Soon enough, the hour's up.
  258. >You head to the entrance of the park, and wait.
  259. >Mom's car pulls up.
  260. >She gets out, and the two of you wave at her.
  261. >”Hi, mommy!”
  262. >But, something seems off.
  263. >She looks pissed.
  264. >”Angel, Honey, come over here right now.”
  265. >She speaks with some intensity.
  266. >Angel blinks, and looks up at you.
  267. >Confused, you simply nod.
  268. >Angel walks over to your mom, who immediately grabs her by the wrist, and quickly walks toward the car.
  269. >She doesn't even acknowledge you.
  270. >That's really weird.
  271. “Hey, Mutter, when do you want me to come over tonight?”
  272. >She turns around and glares at you.
  273. >”You stay away from us! You're no son of mine!”
  274. >Warte, was?
  275. >You hold your hands up defensively.
  276. “What did I do?”
  277. >She ignores you as your sister looks back with a worried expression.
  278. >Your mom opens the back door.
  279. >”Get in the car, Angel.”
  280. >Angel begins to protest.
  281. >”Just do it!”
  282. >Scared, Angel quickly gets in.
  283. >As your mom closes the door, you walk over to her.
  284. “Mom, what's going on?”
  285. >She turns to you, reaching into her purse.
  286. >”You're not welcome in my house anymore.”
  287. >She pulls out her taser!
  288. >OHJESUSFUCKTHISHURTS!
  289. >You collapse on the ground, clutching your gut.
  290. >You hear your baby sister cry out your name, shortly before the tires screech, and the car drives away.
  291.  
  292. >You are Sour Sweet.
  293. >And revenge is certainly...sweeter.
  294. >As you watch the bastard writhe in pain, you can't help but grin in triumph.
  295. >Your [HEARTBREAKER] will remain attached to his mother for a few days, just to seal the deal.
  296. >And he won't be able to do anything about it.
  297.  
  298. >You're Erich.
  299. >Night falls.
  300. >You returned home for the day.
  301. >It was really strange, the way mom was behaving.
  302. >If you didn't know better, you'd say she found out you were a NatSoc.
  303. >But no, even if she did, the way she reacted was too strong.
  304. >Besides, you were extremely cautious, and all the paraphernalia you had was at your apartment.
  305. >You had moved out almost two years ago, and she didn't have a key to your apartment.
  306. >It was part of an agreement.
  307. >You could spend the senior year at Canterlot high on your own on the condition that you lived nearby.
  308. >Mom still needed your help, so you only lived a few blocks down.
  309. >You graduated last year, but stuck around where you were.
  310. >Mom was somber, but still very proud when you moved out on your own.
  311. >So what the hell happened?
  312. >...
  313. >Well, you aren't getting answers just laying around on the bed.
  314. >You get up, and head out.
  315. >You're getting answers, now.
  316.  
  317. >You're at your mom's house.
  318. >You briefly considered going in through the front door, but given how mom's behaving, that's probably a bad idea.
  319. >So you scouted around the back yard, looking for an entrance.
  320. >Mom doesn't even know Stands exist, and has probably never even heard of one.
  321. >You don't want to scare her, especially if she hates you right now.
  322. >The last thing you need is a bullet hole in your chest.
  323. > You don't think she'd shoot you, but you don't wanna chance it.
  324. >Hey, there's a light on in Angel's room.
  325. >Is she awake?
  326. >...is she okay?
  327.  
  328. >You look left, right, and all around.
  329. >You don't see anyone.
  330. >And the shadows are quiet, too.
  331. >Just a few field mice here and there.
  332. >Stealthily, you spawn a fist made of shadow, and send it up to the window.
  333. >You take care to avoid the light sources so it doesn't disappear.
  334. >The fist gently raps on the side of the window.
  335. >After a moment, Angel comes over to her window, and opens it.
  336. >She looks around, and you ‘psst’ at her to get her attention.
  337. “Engel, down here!”
  338. >You whisper loudly.
  339. >She looks down, and her face immediately brightens.
  340. >You put a finger up to your lips.
  341. >She nods quickly, and whispers down at you.
  342. >”Hi, Ricky.”
  343. “Are you alright, mein lieb?”
  344. >She nods.
  345. >”Yeah. Are you?”
  346. >You see a frown forming on her face.
  347. >”I saw what mommy did. That was mean.”
  348. >You gently wave her off.
  349. ”I'm fine, squirt. But I need to get in the house.”
  350. >She looks uncertain.
  351. >”Mommy says I'm not supposed to talk to you anymore.”
  352. >You sigh.
  353. “Engel, I think mommy's sick. Did she ever tell you why she suddenly hated me?”
  354. >Angel shakes her head.
  355. >”She just told me not to talk about it.”
  356. >That settles it.
  357. >Mom never wants to talk about things she has no knowledge of.
  358. “I don't think mommy has a reason to hate me, Engel.”
  359. >You see tears forming.
  360. >”But why does she hate you so much, Ricky?”
  361. >Your expression turns serious.
  362. “Engel, this must be the work of an enemy Stand.”
  363.  
  364. >Angel covers her mouth with both hands.
  365. >”You think a Stand is hurting mommy?”
  366. >You nod.
  367. “It's the only explanation I can think of. That's why I need to get in the house. I know what to look for, and I can fight the Stand.”
  368. >”...What do I need to do, Ricky?”
  369. “Turn off the lights in your room. I'm coming in.”
  370. >She nods, and goes over to the lightswitch.
  371. >The lights go out, and you teleport up to Angel's room.
  372. >She runs over as soon as you appear, and gives you a hug.
  373. >You hug her back, and look at her.
  374. “Stay here, schwester. I'm going to check on mom.”
  375. >She nods. “Don't get hurt, Ricky.”
  376. >You go, and leave the room.
  377.  
  378. >Mom is downstairs, cooking dinner.
  379. >You checked her room, your room, and every other room upstairs for signs of unusual activity.
  380. >So far, nothing.
  381. >If there's any hints of a Stand in the house, of course it's going to be downstairs.
  382. >Nothing is ever easy, is it?
  383. >How annoying.
  384. >Very carefully, you proceed downstairs.
  385. >You're now in the study, and you don't see anything out of place here, either.
  386. >The living room and laundry are clear, too.
  387. >That just leaves the kitchen and dining room.
  388. >And with mom in the kitchen, you have to be extra careful.
  389. >You slowly tread in the dining room, keeping an eye on mom from the shadows.
  390. >The table has are been set, but there's three spots open.
  391. >One is for mom, and the other is for Angel.
  392. >And unless mom managed to get herself a committed boyfriend while she was at the spa, that would make the third spot for you.
  393. >Implying that you're expected to be here.
  394. >Implying mom doesn't actually hate you.
  395. >Implying mom knows something's wrong with her.
  396. >You have to find a way to save her.
  397.  
  398. >”What are *you* doing here?!”
  399. >...Well shit.
  400. >You turn to your mom.
  401. >She stares at you.
  402. >And she looks so nettled.
  403. >You shrug.
  404. “I was expected. I didn't want to disappoint.”
  405. >She marches over to you with a piping hot spatula.
  406. >”You aren't welcome here anymore! Get out!”
  407. >You leer at her.
  408. “If that's true, mom, then why did you set three places at the table? Were you expecting someone else? If not, then why set a place at the table for someone you hate?”
  409. >She looks down at the table, and gasps.
  410. >She obviously didn't expect there to be three places at the table.
  411. >You press your advantage in this battle of wills.
  412. “Mutter, something is wrong with you. And I think you know it. You have no reason to hate me.”
  413. >You reach out a hand invitingly.
  414. “I know what's wrong with you, mom. I can help make you better. Bitte, lass mich dir helfen.” [spoiler]Please, let me help you.[/spoiler]
  415. >She looks down at your hand.
  416. >Then, she turns to the table.
  417. >You see her face tearing up.
  418. >Then suddenly, her body seizes.
  419. >She freezes for a second, and you reach out to her.
  420. “Mutter?”
  421. >Your hand is suddenly smacked away by a burning hot spatula.
  422. >You pull your hand back, hissing in pain.
  423. >Your mother looks at you with eyes full of rage.
  424. >”You have ten seconds to leave! If you're not out of here by the time I get back, I'll kill you.”
  425. >http://youtu.be/-Tdu4uKSZ3M&t=40
  426.  
  427. >Your mom leaves.
  428. >She's going to get one of dad's guns.
  429. >As she left, you note that her shirt seemed to be moving.
  430. >Was that the Stand?
  431. >You waste no time.
  432. >You'll have to use your Stand.
  433. >You switch off the lights in the kitchen and the dining room.
  434. >By the time she comes back, you're already waiting in the shadows.
  435. >She of course goes for the light switches, but you sabotaged them so she can't use them.
  436. >You look on from the dark corners of the room.
  437. >Shit, she's got a pump shotgun.
  438. >Now you're really glad you decided to use your Stand.
  439. >You just need to get behind her, and-
  440. >FICH!
  441. >You managed to teleport away just before she turned to face you.
  442. >”I know you're here, 'son!’ Come on out!”
  443. >That's right.
  444. >She was army infantry back in her teens and twenties.
  445. >She knows what she's doing.
  446. >And she won't hesitate to pull the trigger.
  447. >Especially on someone she hates.
  448. >How do you sneak up on a trained soldier?
  449. >...Ambush.
  450. >You form a construct in the Study.
  451. >As loud noises crash, she moves that direction, her shotgun at the ready.
  452. >You come up from behind, and as she enters the study, you get ready to rip away the back of her shirt.
  453. >You enter the study...
  454. >...Only to find that she has her barrel pointed at your face.
  455. >”Soldiers who've seen combat develop a sixth sense that warn them of danger, son.”
  456. >She smiles triumphantly.
  457. >“I'm no different.”
  458. >Well, now you know where you get your gloating habit from.
  459. >She pulls the trigger.
  460.  
  461. >Nothing happens.
  462. >She pumps the shotgun, and fires again.
  463. >Nothing happens.
  464. >Frustrated, she starts checking her gun.
  465. >You smirk.
  466. >It was quick thinking on your part, but you put a solid block of darkness in between the hammer and the firing pin inside the gun.
  467. >It's nothing more than a steel tube, now.
  468. “Mom, please, stop this. You don't actually want to kill me.”
  469. >She glares up at you, tossing away her gun.
  470. >”You won't be lucky forever!”
  471. >She pulls out a pocket knife.
  472. >You stand on guard defensively.
  473. >As she lunges, you begin struggling with her.
  474. >Shit, you don't want to hurt her, and you really don't want to use your Stand.
  475. >But a trained soldier with a knife is much better than you at hand to hand combat.
  476. >You may be bigger and stronger, but you're being overpowered.
  477. >Soon enough, your mom is on top of you, raising her knife.
  478. >”Good night, baby!”
  479. >She goes to bring it down.
  480. >Fuck, you can't do anything about it.
  481. >There's gotta be a way to get out of this mess!
  482. >”[ROCK YOU]!”
  483. >Mom is suddenly pummeled nonstop by a small pink Stand.
  484. >“Ayiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi!”
  485. >Mom's arm freezes right before the blade hits your throat.
  486. >She's petrified, a look of confusion on her face.
  487. >You look behind her.
  488. >Angel, thank God!
  489. “Vielen Dank, Engel.”
  490. >You lift your mother off of you, and lay her on the ground.
  491. >Angel goes over to her, comfortingly.
  492. >”Mommy, Ricky says you're sick, but don't worry, he'll make you better.”
  493.  
  494. >You rip open the back of mom's shirt.
  495. >Sorry, mom.
  496. >You see it.
  497. >A heart shaped bug, with what looks like a stinger in your mom's back.
  498. >This must be the enemy Stand.
  499. >You're going to have to destroy it.
  500. “[BENZIN]!”
  501. >Your Stand appears, and throws a punch at it.
  502. >”Auf!”
  503. >...Verdammt, this Stand is tough.
  504. >You don't think you even made a scratch.
  505. >Well, if you can't destroy it, you can at least get it off.
  506. >[BENZIN] grabs the Stand, and pulls hard.
  507. >It easily comes out, but your mom gasps.
  508. >Angel suddenly starts panicking.
  509. >”Ricky, mommy passed out!”
  510. “Is she breathing? Does she have a heartbeat?”
  511. >Angel checks, and nods.
  512. >”Yeah?”
  513. >You sigh in relief.
  514. “She'll be fine. Right now I just need to worry about the Stand-”
  515. >There's the sound like metal slicing something.
  516. >You look back, and see that [BENZIN] has had its fingers chopped off.
  517. >The Stand zooms around, flying out of the room.
  518. >... Luckily, you tied a thread to one of its legs.
  519. >It's gonna take you right to its user.
  520. “Engel, stay with Mutter. I'm going after the Stand user.
  521. >Angel looks up at you.
  522. >”Kick their hiney, big brother!”
  523.  
  524. >You are Sour Sweet.
  525. >And something's wrong.
  526. >You were sitting at a friend's house, hanging out with some Indigo Zap and a couple other friends.
  527. >Suddenly, something huge collided with your back.
  528. >It wasn't painful, but it felt strong.
  529. >It knocked you over, too.
  530. >Your classmates expressed some concern.
  531. >You waved it off, telling them you fell out of the seat.
  532. >Then you felt something else.
  533. >[HEARTBREAKER] was forcibly disconnected from that bastard's mother!
  534. >How does that even happen?!
  535. >That doesn't bode well.
  536. >You decided to recall your Stand.
  537. >You could try to regain control of his mom, but you didn't wanna chance it.
  538. >You figured you'd wait until tomorrow before trying to find out what happened.
  539. >Until then, it's best to act like nothing was wrong.
  540. >”Sour?”
  541. “Huh?”
  542. >You look up at Indigo.
  543. >She seems annoyed.
  544. >”I said do you want anything to drink! I'm going downstairs, and if you want something after that, you have to get it yourself!”
  545. >You shake your head, trying to brush off your nervousness.
  546. “N-No, I'm fine.”
  547. >You’re not fine.
  548. >You can't shake the feeling that something fierce is coming.
  549. >And when it gets here…
  550.  
  551. >You are Erich Rammstein.
  552. >And you've been following this thread for a while now.
  553. >It's certainly cold out tonight.
  554. >You call out [BENZIN], and retrieve your hat and jacket.
  555. >You put them on as you follow the thread's trail.
  556. >It feels good, being in uniform again.
  557. >As you adjust your cap, you approach the final destination.
  558. >It's a house in a nice neighborhood.
  559. >You see the thread leading up to an open window.
  560. >From the sounds of music and laughter, it sounds like a party.
  561. >You grin.
  562. >Time to crash it.
  563.  
  564. >Oh, no no no no no.
  565. >This is bad.
  566. >You're back to being Sour Sweet.
  567. >And your Stand just returned.
  568. >With a thread tied to its leg.
  569. >Not tangled, tied.
  570. >Meaning someone could see it.
  571. >”Whoa, is that thread floating?”
  572. >You look over, and you see Lemon Zest staring at the thread attached to your Stand.
  573. >The others look over, attracted by Lemon's exclaimation.
  574. >Quick, think of something!
  575. >You hover your hands over your Stand.
  576. “Uhh, yeah! It's maaaaagic! I've been practicing!”
  577. >You grin at your friends.
  578. >Hopefully they buy it.
  579. >Sunny Flare and Lemon Zest look impressed, but Indigo and Sugarcoat are looking at you skeptically.
  580. >”Cool!” Sunny Flare said excitedly.
  581. >You sigh, slightly relieved.
  582. >”Did you also use your magic to conjure that Nazi on the roof?”
  583.  
  584. >What?
  585. >You look out the window.
  586. >Oh shit.
  587. >It's that Jackass from before.
  588. >Only this time, he's dressed like a Nazi.
  589. >And he's staring at you.
  590. >Menacingly.
  591. >Oh shit.
  592. >”So I take it you're the reason my mom pulled a gun on me.”
  593. >Oh shit.
  594. >You are Sour Sweet.
  595. >And you just realized.
  596. >You pissed off a Nazi Stand user.
  597. >...
  598. >If there is a God, please don't let this guy throw you in an oven.
  599. >He's walking towards the window!
  600. >Fucking do something, Sour!
  601. >Quickly, you rush toward the window and try to close it.
  602. >Holy shit!
  603. >A black tentacle just shot past you, breaking the light!
  604. >Lemon and Sunny scream.
  605. >You manage to slam the window shut, after using [HEARTBREAKER] to chop the tentacle off.
  606. >You back off, catching your breath with a smile.
  607. “He can't get in, now.”
  608. >”Yes, he's certainly trapped out there, isn't he?”
  609. >That's not the girls. Who…
  610. >...
  611. >Oh shit.
  612.  
  613. >You look back, and up at the Nazi.
  614. >He's looking down on you with an expression of doom.
  615. >Of all the people you could've pissed off!
  616. >Seriously, isn't it enough that he was a Stand user?!
  617. >He has to be a Nazi, too?!
  618. >”[BENZIN]!”
  619. >A big guy appears right next to him, giving everyone a start.
  620. >He's not even a weak Stand user, either!
  621. >This guy just suddenly appeared out of thin air, broke a light from a range, and now his Stand appears, all muscular and dressed in skulls!
  622. >Memories of everything you've done to others flashed through your mind!
  623. >Did...did you really have to be so cruel?!
  624. >”[I WANNA GO]!”
  625. >The guy turns to Indigo, only to have his Stand block a punch!
  626. >Another Stand has appeared!
  627. >This one looks like a blue athlete in an armored tracksuit.
  628. >Wait…
  629. >Indigo's a Stand user, too?!
  630.  
  631. >You're Indigo Zap.
  632. >And you don't care who this guy is.
  633. >You're gonna make him pay for breaking your light.
  634. >As your Stand holds him off, you turn to the others.
  635. “Girls, get out of here.”
  636. >Lemon Zest and Sunny Flare nod quickly, before running off.
  637. >But Sugarcoat remains.
  638. >”I believe I can be of assistance.”
  639. >You shake your head.
  640. “There's more going on than you know, Sugarcoat.”
  641. >”You're using a psychic representation of your willpower to fight your opponent. You call it a 'Stand.’”
  642. >Whoa.
  643. “How do you know that?!”
  644. >Sugarcoat steps forward.
  645. >”[Black Sun].”
  646. >A small black sphere appears above your Stands.
  647. >So Sugarcoat is also a Stand user?
  648. >Your opponent goes to throw a fist, but it's way off the mark.
  649. >He seems confused.
  650. >You don't know what Sugarcoat’s power is, but you're glad she's on your side.
  651.  
  652. >You're Erich Rammstein again.
  653. >You expected to find a single Stand user, working alone.
  654. >Instead, you seem to have stumbled into a small nest.
  655. >How annoying.
  656. >You see the yellow girl from before, moving to leave.
  657. >You try to construct a wall in front of her path.
  658. >But it appears next to the bed.
  659. >Something’s wrong here.
  660. >”Over here!”
  661. >The girl with the blue Stand throws a right directly at you.
  662. >You go to block it…
  663. >...only to get nailed by a left fist.
  664. >What's going on?
  665. >You try looking up at the Stand above you.
  666. >You see your feet.
  667. >...Ah, you see now.
  668. “So your Stand reverses motor controls.”
  669. >The blue girl grunts, adjusting her glasses.
  670. >”...Correct. More precisely, it reverses your perception of relation to where things are. When you think left, you move right. When you think up, you move down.”
  671. >You shake your head.
  672. “That's going to be annoying.”
  673. >You noticed the yellow girl’s stopped.
  674. >Where would she be if you're thinking of opposites?
  675. >You direct tentacles to spawn around the desk behind you.
  676. >Direct hit! You've captured your target.
  677. >”Get these damn things off of me, you perv!”
  678. >You ignore her screeching.
  679. >”You waltz into my house, break my stuff, and take a hold of my friends?! You got some nerve, pal! Let her go!”
  680. “What say we take this outside?”
  681. >Without waiting for an answer, you teleport yourself and your quarry up and forward.
  682. >You end up outside in the backyard.
  683.  
  684. >As you wait for the other two, the yellow girl calls out her Stand.
  685. >”[HEARTBREAKER]!”
  686. >The bug Stand flies out, and flies past the tentacles holding her.
  687. >Your tentacles are cut, and she drops to the ground.
  688. >As she recovers, her friends rush outside to help her.
  689. “I'll give you credit, you're both showing great loyalty.”
  690. >The three girls stare you down.
  691. >The yellow one's wearing a shit eating grin.
  692. >That cocky bitch. Bet she feels invincible with her friends here.
  693. >Let's see how long their loyalty lasts.
  694. “But how loyal will you be when I reveal…”
  695. >You point at them dramatically.
  696. “...the truth behind my attack?”
  697. >The two other girls look confused, and the yellow one frowns.
  698. >”Don't listen to this damned Nazi! He'll say anything to separate us!”
  699. “Believe what you will, but this girl attacked my mother because I wouldn't apologize to her.”
  700. >”You liar! Shut your lying mouth!”
  701. “Oh? If not for that reason, then why am I attacking you?”
  702. >”Because-”
  703. >She stops, trying to think of something to say.
  704. “If you can't make up a reason, why not tell the truth?”
  705. >The girl with blue hair interrupts.
  706. >”If this happened because you wouldn't apologize, why not just apologize?!”
  707. ”Because I did nothing wrong. She bumped into me, and called me a Jackass, before expecting an apology.”
  708. >”That's not true, you Jackass!”
  709. >She gasps, and clasps her hands over her mouth.
  710.  
  711. >You press the attack.
  712. “She then went on to use her Stand to make my mother hate me so much, that she tried to kill me. I've been shot at twice, wrestled down, and nearly stabbed thanks to her.”
  713. >The other two girls are glaring daggers at their friend now.
  714. >She grins sheepishly.
  715. >”C-C’mon, guys! Who're you gonna believe? Your friend? Or this Nazi?”
  716. “Need I remind you that she still hasn't offered any other reason I have to attack her.”
  717. >The blue girl turns to you.
  718. >”Do you intend to kill her?”
  719. “No, but by the time I'm done, she's gonna wish she were dead.”
  720. >She adjusts her glasses, and withdraws her Stand.
  721. >”Then I see no reason to interfere with your skirmish.”
  722. >The yellow girl looks shocked.
  723. >”Sugarcoat! You're abandoning me?!”
  724. >Sugarcoat shrugs.
  725. >”This is a situation you started, Sour Sweet. What he describes is in keeping with your past behavior. To put it bluntly, you got yourself into this mess, you can get yourself out.”
  726. >You smirk.
  727. “Now that this misunderstanding has been cleared, allow me to deal with this Hündin.”
  728. >You step forward, [BENZIN] by your side.
  729. >Frightfully, Sour Sweet gets on guard.
  730. >But then the blue haired one steps in between you.
  731. >”Now just a minute!”
  732. >Oh, great, what now?
  733. >”I won't defend Sour Sweet's actions, what she did was wrong. I understand your beef with my friend, but you still broke my light, and ruined my sleepover! I'm not gonna let you off lightly!”
  734.  
  735. >You groan.
  736. >You eyes give an analyzing look at the blue haired girl.
  737. >You have a sneaking suspicion she cares more about the bulb than anything else.
  738. >You pull out your wallet.
  739. “Will twenty bits cover the expense of a new bulb?”
  740. >She stops.
  741. >You pull out a twenty bit note.
  742. “It comes with a free apology for ruining your sleepover.”
  743. >You hand the note to [BENZIN].
  744. >Your Stand disappears, only to reappear near the blue haired girl.
  745. >She seems to contemplate it for a second, before her Stand takes the note.
  746. >”Apology accepted.”
  747. >”OH COME ON!”
  748.  
  749. >As blue hair walks off, you approach Sour Sweet.
  750. >She looks really nervous.
  751. >”[HEARTBREAKER]!”
  752. >She brings out her Stand, and immediately sends it forward.
  753. >You move to block it.
  754. >It cuts the wrong arm.
  755. >Oh, right. You're not under [BLACK SUN]'s influence anymore.
  756. >[HEARTBREAKER] comes around for another pass.
  757. >Gott, it's fast.
  758. “[BENZIN]!”
  759. >Your Stand moves to strike.
  760. >But hers suddenly darts out of the way of your fist.
  761. >The side of the shell slices into your Stand's shoulder.
  762. >It's coming around for another pass.
  763. >Your Stand keeps on being cut up!
  764. >You may have power, but [HEARTBREAKER]'s speed is too fast for your [BENZIN] to keep up!
  765. >[BENZIN]'s body regenerates, and turns to face Sour Sweet.
  766. >Sour is growing increasingly agitated.
  767. >”Shouldn't you be cut up to hell by now?!”
  768. >You understand her confusion.
  769. “[BENZIN] is my Stand, but it possesses a physical form. The shadows it inhabits are it's body. You can cut it all you like, but you won't be able to harm me insodoing.”
  770. >You decide to try and put her on the defensive.
  771. >You summon up wolf-like constructs, imbuing them with some autonomy.
  772. >You point at Sour Sweet.
  773. “Take her down.”
  774.  
  775. >Your wolves are surprisingly easily dealt with.
  776. >[HEARTBREAKER] slices in deep, and they're done for.
  777. >It's speed is not to be underestimated.
  778. >And though it doesn't actually have power, the cutting edge of its hardened shell is still quite destructive.
  779. >Sour Sweet is growing confident, and is easily able to handle your automated constructs.
  780. >You may have to rethink your plan of attack.
  781. >You stop summoning wolves, and instead start bringing up tentacles.
  782. >They lash out at Sour from all directions, but she easily dodged them while her Stand chopped them apart.
  783. >”Moron! I'm part of the Crystal Prep Shadowbolts, and an expert gymnast! You aren't gonna take me down like that!”
  784. >Then let's try something new.
  785. >You bring out [BENZIN], and conjure a giant fly swatter out of sight behind him.
  786. >[BENZIN] gets on guard, as you ready the fly swatter.
  787. >[HEARTBREAKER] rips through [BENZIN], making a beeline for you.
  788. >Just like you expected.
  789. >You bring down the fly swatter on [HEARTBREAKER], smacking the Stand to the ground.
  790. >Sour falls to the earth, as if a huge weight is pinning her from above.
  791.  
  792. >You got her pinned, good.
  793. >You summon [BENZIN] again.
  794. >Sending him over to Sour Sweet, you get ready to finish the job.
  795. >But suddenly, her Stand begins rapidly spinning.
  796. >Before you can realize what she's trying to do, her Stand cuts through the net of your flyswatter.
  797. >She leaps up to her feet, and away from your [BENZIN] just as her [HEARTBREAKER] rushes over, and decapitates your Stand.
  798. >It's because of Stands like hers that you're glad you don't share physical trauma.
  799. >But now the Stand's headed for you.
  800. >You aren't gonna bother summoning your Stand to attack it anymore.
  801. >Instead, you clad yourself in plate armor from head to toe.
  802. >Black armor, made from shadows, covered in skulls and swastikas.
  803. >You think it would look amazing to see it from the outside.
  804. >You hear her laugh.
  805. >”Oh, you must really be scared of me if you're going to armor yourself up like that. But don't worry, I'll make it quick.”
  806. >Oh, how little she knows.
  807. >Unlike your previous constructs, this armor is purely defensive, and made specifically to deflect attacks.
  808. >This is your Stand at its toughest.
  809. >And she's quickly learning that her Stand's blade can't cut through your armor.
  810.  
  811. >You approach her, as her attacks start getting more and more desperate.
  812. >She starts screeching, as her [HEARTBREAKER] makes pass after pass, failing to penetrate your armor.
  813. >”Fall down, already!”
  814. >You make your way over to her, as you count the time in between each of her strikes.
  815. >You suck in hand to hand combat, but you need her to think you're moving to punch her directly.
  816. >You get close enough that you start charging her.
  817. >But she quickly cartwheels out of the way, leaving you grasping at air.
  818. >The strikes resume, as she fruitlessly searches for a weak point in your armor.
  819. >You think you got their pattern down, now.
  820. >As she strikes again, you wait for the opportunity to capture her.
  821. >The way to win is to take away her mobility.
  822. >And now you know how.
  823. >You wait.
  824. >And wait.
  825. >Now!
  826. >Your armor opens up like a box, and slams shut as her Stand collides with you.
  827. >Her arms and legs are suddenly pinned to her body, and she falls flat on her face.
  828. >”I... can't...move…”
  829. >Discarding your armor, but keeping her Stand boxed, you stroll over to her with [BENZIN].
  830. >You kneel down, and grab her collar.
  831. “You're not spinning out of that prison.”
  832. >You pick her up, and look into her eye.
  833. “You lost for one simple reason, Hündin.”
  834. >She looks at you fearfully, as [BENZIN] folds his fingers into his fist.
  835. “You messed with my family.”
  836. >And thus, the flurry of blows begin.
  837. >”AUFAUFAUFAUFAUFAUFAUFAUFAUF!”
  838. >”AUFAUFAUFAUFAUFAUFAUFAUFAUF!”
  839. >”AUFAUFAUFAUFAUFAUFAUFAUFAUF!”
  840. >Drawing back for a final strike, [BENZIN] puts all his strength behind the last blow.
  841. >”AUF!”
  842. >Sour Sweet is sent flying through the air, creating a ditch as she skids through the ground.
  843. >Leaving her as a mess of tangled limbs, you think that she'll be hospitalized for a few months, at least.
  844. >You adjust your cap, and turn to go back home.
  845. “Auf Wiedersehen.”
  846. http://youtu.be/tMnGmoLS6zo
  847.  
  848. Name: Sour Sweet
  849. Status: [RETIRED]

Rammstein's Bizarre Adventure chapter 1: Heartbreakers are[...]

by AceSorou

Rammstein's Bizarre Adventure Chapter 2: Compounding the problem

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Rammstein's Bizarre Adventure Chapter 3: A Bizarre children's story

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Rammstein's Bizarre Adventure Chapter 4: It's a Jungle out there

by AceSorou

Rammstein's Bizarre Adventure Chapter 5: The Terror below

by AceSorou