Rammstein's Bizarre Adventure Chapter 4: It's a Jungle out there

 

>You're Erich Rammstein.

>And you're enjoying the day.

>It's raining, but you're dressed in a black rain coat and a hold a wide umbrella.

>Not that you need it right now, being in the park's gazebo.

>You always loved rainy days like this.

>The patter of the rain as it hits leaves and roofs.

>The occasional thunderstrike breaking the soft rhythm.

>It was all very relaxing, comforting.

>It was certainly better than listening to your housemates.

>They were good friends to be sure, but they were being utter morons right now.

>Not to you, you kept your nose clean.

>But someone in the house was being a degenerate, and someone else got angry at him.

>You know their names, you just don't care enough to use them right now.

>The shouting match went on in the Commons while you're busy trying to wash dishes.

>You were actually washing your favorite cup, but the asshats insisted on taking their shouting match to the kitchen area.

>Someone shoved someone else, and they ran into you.

>You stumbled forward, and broke your cup after smashing it into the side of the sink.

>They didn't even notice.

>...How annoying.

>You came to the park to take your mind away from your troubles.

>And they followed you here.

>You sigh, listening to the pitter patter of the rain.

 

>You open your eyes.

>Did you fall asleep?

>You check your phone.

>Scheiße, you were out for a while.

>It's already noon.

>Well, crap.

>You got work in five hours, and nothing to do in the meantime.

>It's still raining, you might as well head home.

 

>You know this park like the back of your hand by now.

>You head North a few blocks, you get to Canterlot high.

>Eastward is the bank.

>West is where you'd find town hall.

>Then there's the church to the South.

>The house where you live is somewhere between the church and the bank.

>You think you've been out in the rain long enough, so you decide to head back.

>You'll have to swing by the church, the road directly to your residence is under construction.

>And they won't let pedestrians on the sidewalks.

>Fich. They've had that road closed for almost a month now.

>If certain people won world war two, the road would've been done in a week, at worst.

>...

>Just sayin'.

 

>You pass near the church, holding your umbrella.

>According to Der Führer, National Socialism was fundamentally a Christian movement.

>Though you didn't like him, you felt he was right in that regard.

>Thus, you felt more comfortable on holy ground, despite not going to church very much.

>But your religion isn't of any importance right now.

>Though the church itself seems welcoming, you get an odd sense about the graveyard behind it.

>This was usual. That graveyard always bothered you.

>Today, however, it seemed to emanate a more ominous aura to you.

>The very air seemed...

>Menacing.

>You pass by quickly, but cautiously.

>But as you're about to cross the street past the graveyard, you hear a haunting sound.

>"Errrrrriiiiiicccccchhhhhh..."

 

>Oh Fich nein.

>You don't recognize that voice, but you wanna avoid familiarity if at all possible.

>You turn to leave.

>"Errrrrriiiiiicccccchhhhhh...come to meeee..."

>Nope nope nope nope nope.

>You're not going.

>You turn to leave.

>Wait, didn't you already do that?

>And why is the graveyard closer?

>Oh shit.

>Your body...

>It's moving on its own!

>Is this the work of an enemy Stand?!

>You have to will yourself to stop!

>Stay.

>Stay right where you are.

>Think about staying in one place.

>If you don't, your body moves.

>"Errrrrriiiiiicccccchhhhhh...come to meeee..."

>Scheiße!

>Every time you hear that voice, you feel compelled to move toward it!

>What kind of power is this?!

>You stand where you are.

>Don't move.

>How're you gonna defeat this foe?

>Don't move.

>"Errrrrriiiiiicccccchhhhhh..."

>She's calling to you.

>Don't move.

>"Come to meeee..."

>You have to move.

>Don't move.

>If you move, you get to meet her.

>She's an enemy. Don't move.

>"Errrrrriiiiiicccccchhhhhh..."

>Don't you wanna meet her?

>"Come to meeee..."

>BITCH I DO WHAT I WANT!

>And you wanna meet her.

>You wanna submit to her will...

>No. You want to defeat her.

>You want to face her, and punish her for trying to enslave you.

>You start moving.

>As you let your body move, you force yourself to pay attention.

>You'll meet this foe head on.

>And when you do...

>You'll send her to the gas chambers.

 

>You move through the graveyard.

>You're deep in, now. You've lost sight of the road.

>She keeps calling to you.

>"Errrrrriiiiiicccccchhhhhh...come to meeee..."

>You maintain your focus by taking delight in the things you intend to do once you meet this seemingly irresistible force.

>You pass many graves, and see a mausoleum.

>That's where she is.

>Her voice is coming from there.

>You continue to let your body lead you towards the mausoleum.

>As far as you know, she doesn't know about your powers.

>And the great thing about rainstorms like this, it might as well be nighttime.

>Even outdoors, you hold the advantage.

>You know you've never met her, but you also know she doesn't know about your Stand.

>You still have a couple hours before work.

>You want to fuck with her. A lot.

>But due to time constraints, you need to end this quickly and efficiently.

>You approach the door of the mausoleum.

>"Yesss, Errrrrriiiiiicccccchhhhhh...come, be with me..."

>You reach out for the door handle.

>"Let's be together, Errrrrriiiiiicccccchhhhhh..."

>You twist the doorknob.

>"Stay with meeee..."

>The door swings open.

>"...And let me feast upon your corpse!"

>You see a hand grope for you.

>Now!

"[BENZIN]!"

>"Auf!"

>Your Stand appears, planting a huge fist right where you estimate the face would be.

>"Wrrrrryyyyyy!"

>You heard something fly back into the opposite wall, before the door slammed shut.

>"You...how dare yoooouu..."

>This might take longer than you thought.

>How annoying.

 

>You step away from the door, now free of her control.

>There's a shuffling coming from inside the mausoleum.

>You feel several figures moving in the shadows.

>Looks like she wasn't the only one in there.

>Suddenly, there's a loud thud, as something hits the door.

>You hear strange clicks and clacks, as well as the shuffling of feet.

>Preemptively, you summon up several shadow constructs.

>Instead of wolves, this time, you decided to make them look more like a mix between German soldiers and Edward Scissorhands.

>They look to you for guidance.

"Töte, was auch immer durch diese Tür kommt." [spoiler]Kill whatever comes through that door.[/spoiler]

>You indicate the mausoleum.

>They all look towards it.

>The door shakes, and your constructs start gathering on either side of the door.

>It suddenly bursts open, and the most frightening thing you've seen leaps out.

>Decaying corpses and moving skeletons snarl at you, and begin to approach.

>Suddenly, your constructs move in, hacking and stabbing at all of them.

>The corpses are distracted long enough for you to bring out [BENZIN], and start tearing them apart one by one.

>"So that is your power..."

>As you defeat one corpse, you turn to see a voluptuous woman, dressed in a burial garb with long black hair, and glowing red eyes.

>She grins at you, and you notice her canines elongated to fangs.

>"Perhaps I won't kill you...I'll simply drain you, and make you my eternal servant."

>She raises her hand, and her fingers sharpen themselves into claws.

>...Well, shit. Are you fighting a vampire?

 

>The vampire lunges at you.

>But you manage to teleport away.

>You're glad it's overcast right now.

>There's just enough shadows to cover direct sunlight, and not enough light to disperse your constructs

>But your constructs are being overwhelmed by zombies and skellingtons.

>You decide to dismiss the constructs you have, and reform them in formation in front of you.

>There's a file of shadowy Hessian soldiers, spears at the ready, standing between you and the vampire, with her undead.

>Right now, your constructs are weaker, individually.

>Perhaps you can compensate with superior tactics.

"Soldaten! Fortschritt!" [spoiler]Soldiers! Advance![/spoiler]

>Your Hessians start marching forward as one, pointing their spears head on.

>The zombies and skeletons rush forward.

>Some are impaled easily on the spears, while others knock them away.

>But impaling doesn't seem to do much.

>Thinking quick, you swap out the spears for maces.

>Hopefully shattering bones and smashing skulls will work better.

>The vampire seems to be directing her minions as you would direct your constructs.

>She seems to be...impressed.

>Your formation is starting to break.

>You start conjuring German Wehrmacht soldiers on either side, circa WW2.

>You have difficulty conjuring ranged weapons, but it isn't that different from lashing out with a tentacle when all is said and done.

>The soldiers come in prone, rifles and machine guns at the ready.

>Your formation breaks, as the constructs at the center fall.

>You're relieved to find some of the corpses aren't getting up.

>The dead advance.

"Feuer!"

>Your shadow Wehrmacht opens up, popping out from amongst the gravestones.

 

>Shadowy bullets rip through the deadites as they advance.

>Their bodies begin crumbling under the sustained fire.

>Skeletons' bones shatter, unable to take the impact from the bullets.

>Zombies get their limbs and heads shot off, and are unable to regenerate them.

>You sustain the fire from your constructs as long as possible.

>By the end of it all, the deads of various types have crumpled to the ground.

>You sigh in relief, gasping for breath.

>The vampiress frowns at you.

>"I see that it takes effort to sustain those summons of yours. And here I thought you'd be more of a challenge."

>You chuckle weakly, as your shadow Wehrmacht turns their weapons on her.

"I have enough left to put you back in the ground, Fickfehler." [spoiler]Fuckerror. Someone who's birth was unplanned.[/spoiler]

>She grits her teeth, before her face contorts to a grin.

>"That's quite a mouth you have. Don't worry, your stamina issues will be fixed when I make you my underling."

>...

>Verdammt, even as a vampire, she's an 8 at least.

>You took that statement so many wrong ways, you ended up in Albuquerque.

>But you just took out her little band of the dead.

>Why is she still so confide-

>HEILIGE SCHEIßE!

>A hand popped out of the ground and grabbed your leg!

>Immediately, one of your constructs shoot it, and you back away.

>You then notice more Zombies and Skeletons popping out of the ground.

>...Well, shit.

 

"Rückzug!" [spoiler]Retreat![/spoiler]

>You start running, and your constructs follow you.

>More dead start popping out of the ground.

>You hold your fire.

>You're out of breath as it is, you need as much stamina as possible.

>One of your constructs fall, so you unsummon him.

>Then another.

>Then another.

>Then another.

>You gain a little more stamina every time, but even if you unsummon them all, it won't give much more than you already have.

>And keeping them summoned gives her something else to concentrate on.

>But your constructs are dropping like flies.

>You ignore this, heading for the church.

>Big doors, narrow windows, stone structure...

>You can at least buy some time if you can make it there.

>There, it's in sight.

>FICH, something grabbed your ankle!

>You fall to the ground, unceremoniously.

>You cast a shadow to spear the hand that grabbed you.

>Backing out of the way of the rising deadite, you see that you're surrounded.

>And all of your constructs are gone.

>The laughing and snarling ghouls stare as the skeletons hiss at you menacingly.

>They part like an ocean as the vampiress approaches you.

>You look over at the church.

>"Aww, you didn't actually think you'd make it there, did you?

>You'll only have one shot.

>You concentrate on a crack in the stone.

>"Just relax."

>She pins you down, drawing back her hand.

>You ignore her, focusing on that crack.

>"This will all be over soon."

>Her hand stabs for your throat.

>But a split second before the strike, you disappear, teleporting into the church through the crack in the wall.

 

>As you reform from the shadows, you hear a wicked shriek, muffled by the thick walls of the church.

>The cool air soothes you, but you're far too tired now to really appreciate it.

>But you notice a figure approaching.

>It's too blurry to make out.

>Darkness takes you...

 

>You wake up to a comfortable surrounding.

>You're laying in a bed with red sheets.

>Your eyes give a casual glance around.

>You seem to be in a bedroom.

>It seems rather medieval, but the modern furnishings are the thing that keeps you from thinking you fell into a time warp.

>You sit up, looking around.

>And notice a nun sitting in a chair next to your bed.

>She's engrossed in the bible she's reading in her lap.

>You clear your throat politely.

>She looks up, and sighs in relief.

>"Oh, thank goodness. I thought you wouldn't wake."

>Your first thoughts drift to unsavory places.

>She's around your age, and a solid 9.

>She either doesn't care, or doesn't notice that you're checking her out.

>Dem titties tho.

>Is it getting hot in here?

>She glances up at you, and you face forward.

>Bad brain, Nuns aren't for sexual.

>She marks her page, and closes her bible.

>Looking up, she greets you with a gentle smile.

>"My name is Sister Andrews. I welcome you to Canterlot Church, child."

>Child?

>But you're the same age as her.

>Oh, wait, she's a Nun.

>You're a child to her even if she was younger.

>You nod.

"Erich. Erich Rammstein."

>"It's a pleasure to meet you, Erich. Please, could you turn this way?"

>You look over at her.

>DAYUM them titties!

>Her habit does a good job of hiding them, but they're huge!

>Fucking brain, stop!

>"There's no need to fear, child. The dead do not come within this Holy sanctuary. You are truly blessed to survive an encounter with her."

>You force yourself to make eye contact with Sister Andrews.

"Her?"

 

>Sister Andrews turns away solemnly.

>"Her name is Sharon Den Westerholt. She was buried here some two centuries ago. She was a serial killer from a wealthy family, seducing men in the night, and murdering them in the privacy of her home. When she was discovered, the sheriff and his deputies were forced to kill her, and she died in a hail of gunfire. Her family paid for a mausoleum on these grounds, and she was buried. But some say the night after her death, a stranger visited her grave, carrying a strange stone mask. They say the Devil himself resurrected her, so she could continue hunting in the night.

>She looks up at you, teary eyed.

>"This story was long though to be a myth, but last month, she began hunting again. I think she stays in her mausoleum every few decades, to avoid suspicion. On rainy and dismal days like this, she lures unsuspecting victims to her mausoleum, and kills them."

>A dark look befalls you.

"This, woman. Westerholt. Have you known about her long?"

>A guilty look comes over Sister Andrews, and she nods, looking down.

"And why haven't you done anything about her before?"

>Sister Andrews shakes her head.

>"What can I do? I'm just a woman of the Church. I can only ward away the evil from the flock. I can't actually destroy her. And the police would never believe me. Not even the Priests of other congregations would believe me."

>She starts sniffling.

>"People place too little value in faith these days. So when evil does appear, no one recognizes it for what it is. All I can do is pray for a savior to come."

>...Well, shit. You made a Nun cry.

>Congratulations, Arschgeige. [spoiler]Assviolin. An idiotic asshole.[/spoiler]

 

>Well, you did say you'd send the bitch to the gas chambers.

>And you can't let this Westerholt bitch hurt anyone else.

>And you feel bad about making Sister Andrews cry.

>And DEM TITTIES THO.

"Maybe God sent me."

>Did you seriously just say that?

>She looks up at you, her tears stopping.

>...Roll with it.

>You turn your body to face her, putting your legs on the ground.

>With a small wave, your shadow tosses the blanket off the bed, throwing it at the opposite wall.

"I have power over the shadows. I used this power to escape Westerholt. Now that I know who she is, and what she's capable of, I can defeat her."

>She starts crying again.

>But from her expression, these were tears of joy.

>She suddenly lunges at you, and you put your hands up reactively.

>Her body collides with yours, and you feel her hugging you.

>You also feel your hands fill with titty.

>"Oh, thank you so much! God has answered my prayers! With your powers, and God on your side, you can drive away the evil plaguing my church!"

>Ffffffffff-

>Not now, boner!

>You slowly push her away, unintentionally groping her.

>She backs away with your hands.

>You quickly pull away, putting your hands in your lap.

"...Sorry about that."

>Her happy smile grows confused.

>"About what? You offered to save my church, and drive out the evil, right?"

>...Did she seriously not notice you feeling her up?

"Ugh. I mean, don't worry. I'll help."

>She clasps her hands together, smiling tearfully.

>"With your help, we can finally put an end to her reign of evil. Bless you, Erich Rammstein!"

>You think you loosened her habit, her cleavage is showing.

>Dammit boner!

 

>You're sitting with Sister Andrews out in the communion hall.

>She fixed her habit, giving no thought to how she looked to you earlier.

>You ignore the massive mammaried momma, focusing on the rain outside.

>You can see figures in the mist of the rain.

>It must be the deadites.

>They're staying away from the church, for some reason.

>Holy ground, maybe?

>Sister Andrews did say she had the power to protect the flock.

>You remember something about vampires not being able to enter holy ground.

>Maybe that extends to Westerholt's minions?

>"Not that I don't have faith in your abilities, but do you have a plan?"

>You nod, focusing out of the window.

"I'm going to wait until nightfall. Then, I'm going to separate her from the deadites, and destroy her."

>That reminds you.

>You should call in sick to work, so you don't get fired.

>"But why wait until night? Would it not be easier to attack her now, while there's still daylight?"

>You shrug.

"Maybe, but my powers allow me to maintain my mobility in extreme darkness. I want to keep my options open just in case things go tits u-I mean, in case things go wrong."

>Verdammt, dem titties.

>They're distracting, even when you don't have to look at them.

>"Then we have time before you fight her. Should we talk?"

 

>Should you talk?

>Yeah, sure. Why not?

"What do you wanna talk about?"

>Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Sister Andrews smile slightly.

>"...well, I don't get very many visitors when Church is in session. What do people normally talk about?"

>You might as well contribute to breaking the ice.

"How long have you been a nun?"

>"Most of my life, actually. I was abandoned on the steps of this very church. I was raised by the Reverend and his wife, and I decided to become a sister shortly before they moved away. I stayed here because it's my home."

"You didn't go with the Reverend?"

>She shakes her head.

>"He was a wonderful man, and his wife was a wonderful woman. But I was raised in this church, and it will always be my home. Besides, God said if I want to help people, I should stay here."

>Makes sense. Those that serve a higher purpose often report urges or compulsions to go certain places, or do certain things.

>"As well, when the attacks started happening, the priest was amongst the first victims. I feel I owe it to him and this church to see this crisis through, to whatever end."

>So, she's extremely loyal to this church.

"I admire your conviction. More people need such tenacity in their lives."

>She shakes her head, smiling.

>"One needs such conviction to stay in service of the Lord. My path is difficult, but I will not waver. What about you, Erich? Why did you decide to help me?"

 

>You shrug.

"Because it's what my grandfather would've done. I grew up on stories told to me by my father, who was a German immigrant. He married my mother, a soldier in the army. Though he never met him, my Dad would tell me about the great Rudol Von Stroheim, an Ubermensch who walked the earth, slaying vampires and other creatures that go bump in the night."

>"Is that why you aren't so...shocked that vampires exist?"

>You nod.

"Rudol Von Stroheim was a proud man, who never let anyone stand in his way. Even if the odds were stacked against him, he would be so proud of himself that he'd fight the enemy with everything he had. I understand he died at Stalingrad, fighting an entire horde of Russian soldiers and tanks on his own."

>"So he was fighting for the Germans in world war two?"

"Yeah, he was an officer in the Waffen SS. Best of the best that the Wehrmacht had to offer. I grew up learning so much about him and his Bizarre Adventures, that I idolized him as my hero. I wanted to be just like him. Strong, proud, convicted to his beliefs..."

>You sigh, taking on a solemn tone.

"I ended up being my own man, though. After my dad died, I changed. I didn't want to be the next Rudol Von Stroheim, anymore. I wanted to be the first Erich Rammstein. I took control of my life, my own destiny, and decided that I'd live doing what I felt was right. I wondered, what defines me? I am a Christian, one who values family and country. I'm only second generation, but this is still my country. My mom's an Equestrian, and that makes me an Equestrian. This country, Equestria, was founded upon the principles of Harmony and freedom. What you do is what you are. If you do great things, you become great. If you do petty things, you become petty. I strive for perfection in my life. And I'm constantly looking to improve myself. It angers me to see others waste their time, resigning themselves to their fate. I just want others to be the best they can be, because I'm a person who leads by example."

 

>"Well I'm sure your grandfather, and your father, would be very proud of you, if they saw you now."

>You smile at that.

"Danke, Schwester."

>Sister Andrews takes a seat next to you.

>You can't help but feel... bothered by her presence.

>She's distractingly beautiful, but something was bothering you.

>How did she survive all these months without succumbing to Westerholt's siren call?

>...perhaps the same reason Westerholt isn't calling to you now?

>Before you can ask about it, Sister Andrews revives the discussion.

>"So how long have you been blessed with your power?"

>Well, it'd be rude not to answer.

"I was born with it. My father had a power similar to mine. They're called Stands, and they're a physical manifestation of one's own willpower. My father's Stand wasn't very strong, but it had its uses. A pity it couldn't save his life."

>"I'm sorry to hear that. How did he die?"

"It was an accident in the factory where he worked. A crate fell on top of him. His ability to detect and identify other Stand users didn't help him much."

>"...Do you feel spiteful?"

"...Maybe a little. My father was proud and courageous, just like my grandfather. If he had to die, he deserved to die like a hero, not in a freak accident that was completely out of his hands. There was absolutely nothing he could do about it. I can't imagine the helplessness he felt, knowing his situation before he died."

 

>"So your Stand gives you the ability to create objects from shadows?"

"Yes. Some of my constructs can act of their own accord, while others rely on my guidance. Others still are merely weapons, and have no ability to act on their own."

>"But how did you simply appear in my church?"

"Another of my abilities. I can transport myself by absorbing my body into the shadows, then manifesting my body in a different location connected to the same shadows.

>"But all the windows and doors were closed to the church."

"There was a hairline crack in the wall. It was small, but it went all the way through. I could sense where the shadows were, so I used that as my entrance into your church."

>"Amazing. I suppose your Stand is the most powerful one ever, right? It sounds unstoppable."

"Not completely. I have trouble manifesting my constructs in bright light. The reason my constructs were able to manifest was because of the heavy overcast today."

>"...Ahh, I see. So if it were sunny out, you wouldn't have been able to fight as well as you had."

"Unfortunately, yes."

>You look over at her, and she seemed to be playing with the rosary around her neck, looking lost in thought.

>You place a hand on her shoulder.

>She gasps, looking over at you.

>You offer a comforting smile.

"Worry not, schwester. I will be victorious."

>She sighs in relief, and nods.

 

>Night falls, and you stand from the chair next to the window.

>It's time.

>Sister Andrews looks up at you.

"Stay here. Do not open the doors until I return."

>She nods.

>You disappear into the darkness, and teleport outside.

>When you reappear, you're outside, behind the lines of the deadites.

>They all face the church.

>You bring out a slew of tentacles, and aim them directly at the deadites.

>You need to be silent, and destroy them all at once.

>You will a group of them forward.

>They all launch out, impaling the skulls of the corpses.

>They fall to the ground where they stand.

>The other groups are startled, and begin coming to look into what happened.

>You disappear again.

>With those forces distracted, you might be able to find Westerholt.

>...but maybe you should distract a couple more lines, just to be sure.

 

>As you drop another group of deadites, you notice Westerholt.

>You disappear, reappearing nearby, out of sight of the vampire.

>She sends the dead to investigate the sudden destruction of the group, paying rapt attention.

>You use the lull in her attention to move silently to an advantageous position.

>You're behind her now.

>You just need to strike.

>You reach back, a tentacle ready to impale itself through her chest.

>This worked in movies, maybe it'll work here.

>But at you're about to strike, something catches your attention.

>You look over, and see...

>Sister Andrews?

>What's she doing out here?

>From the look in her eyes, she seemed to be, crying?

>Sniffling, she does the sign of the cross in front of her.

>"Bless me father, for I have sinned."

>Warte, was?

>Westerholt looks over to her, before catching sight of you, and grinning, maliciously.

>"[Welcome to the Jungle]!"

>Suddenly, trees and bushes begin springing up all around you.

>The foliage is dense and thick, completely surrounding you.

>Oh, scheiße...

>Sister Andrews is a Stand user?!

 

>"Please, don't resist, Erich Rammstein."

>Was zum Teufel? What the Hell?

>The Sister's voice echos through the trees.

>"I have no choice, please understand."

>No choice, she says.

>You start bringing out your Wehrmacht.

>But as you do, you're suddenly blinded by light from above.

>Dammit, it just turned night! The hell?

>As your eyes adjust, you look up at the light source.

>...Well, shit.

>There's bioluminescent plants glowing brightly above you.

>At the top of the trees, and directed downward.

>That's gonna be annoying.

>You hear movement in the foliage.

>You duck, as a skeleton claw swipes out to slash you.

>Your jacket opens, as [BENZIN]'s fist launches out and connects with the jawbone of your attacker.

>You have to move.

>You need to be stealthy about it, though.

>You keep low, quickly moving away from your previous position.

>The deadites overrun your previous position, only to discover you aren't there.

>Still in hiding, you use [BENZIN] to climb a nearby tree to get a good view of the area.

>You hear Westerholt's voice call eerily out from below.

>"I bet you're wondering how a woman of God could serve me, instead."

>Not really.

>"It's simple. Over time, my Telepathy and Suggestion has wormed their ways into the deepest subconsciousness of her mind. Being exposed to my power over the course of years has that effect on people. She is my servant in the daylight, whether she wants to be or not! The only reason I keep her alive is to keep the church open, and lure in unsuspecting fools to be my victims!"

>Mein Gott.

>You've already figured this out.

>She doesn't need to recap what you thought ever since you learned about Sister Andrews' Stand.

>Really, you would've figured it out sooner.

>But dem titties distracted you.

>...This is why you never let your boner assume direct control.

 

>You begin to reconnoiter the area.

>You can see the deadites down below.

>Not much more, since the trees are blocking your view.

>You can't see either Andrews or Westerholt.

>You look up, examining the bioluminescent plants above.

>They're too high up to climb up and rip them down, but maybe you can get at them with your Stand.

>But if you did that, the deadites below would immediately be alerted to where exactly you are.

>And Andrews could easily regrow the plant.

>You need a plan.

>Looking over to another tree, you throw your hand out towards it.

>A black tentacle shoots out from your jacket's sleeve, and hooks you to the tree.

>In the same instant, you pull yourself forward before the light makes your tentacle dissipate.

>Before you fall, you reach out with your other hand, and pull yourself up towards the safety of a tree branch with another tentacle.

>It occurs to you, as you pull yourself up.

>You can totally travel like Spiderman.

>Save that knowledge for later.

>From your new vantage point, you check again for Andrews or Westerholt.

>No sign of the Stand user, but you did see a large group of deadites gathered together.

>They seemed to be defending a small area.

>It's strange though.

>The area held no tactical advantage.

>Maybe there was something hidden?

>No, then why assign so many guards?

>That defeats the purpose of hiding it.

>What if what they were guarding moved?

>It would have had to move on it's own-

>Scheiße.

>You spin around, blocking an attempt to strike you.

>"I found you..."

>Westerholt!

 

>She crawled up the side of the tree like a lizard!

>You watch her leap onto the branch in front of you.

>You maintain your balance with some effort.

>She does it with ease.

>"I can tell when you're near. You have a distinctive smell. The deodorant you use is quite fragrant."

>Shit, so you can't sneak up on her.

>She throws a kick.

>[BENZIN] blocks it, bit you're sent flying off the branch.

>You begin to fall.

>Throwing your hand up, however, you catch a branch.

>You manage to swing safely down to the ground.

>Relatively speaking.

>There's now a horde of deadites coming at you.

>"Auf! Auf, auf, auf!"

>[BENZIN] strikes out from your jacket.

>You're powerful enough to fell them, but it's only a matter of time before they overwhelm you.

>You hear Westerholt's voice from above.

>"WRRYYYYYYYYY!"

>You manage to jump out of the way just in time.

>Westerholt lands where you just were.

>She stands elegantly, and turns to face you.

>"And now, Rammstein, you are mine."

>Scheiße.

>You're trapped.

>Even if you weren't surrounded by a horde of the dead, there's no way you could take on Westerholt in this light.

>No, there's gotta be some way out of this.

>There's gotta be a way.

>"[I WANNA GO]!"

>"C'MOOOOOOOON!"

>A new voice cuts off your line of thought.

>You look over to see a familiar blue haired girl with a Stand.

>And her Stand is wrecking shit.

>You swear the deadites are just exploding.

>...Well, reinforcements are nice.

 

>You see the blue haired girl fighting through the deadites to get to your position.

>She seems to be holding her own rather well.

>You look over at Westerholt.

>She's distracted, concentrating on the newcomer.

>You take this opportunity to strike.

>Out from under your jacket, a pair of spikes rush in to impale the vampire.

>Direct hit! One in the gut, one in the chest!

>The deadites falter, giving the blue haired girl an opportunity to plow through the undead horde.

>As your spikes disappear, Westerholt snarls, gripping her wounds.

>She suddenly leaps up into the trees above, disappearing.

>Damn, you were hoping that finished her.

>As blue hair finds her way over to you, she catches sight of you, and groans as her face develops an annoyed look.

>"Of all the people who I had to save...You?!"

>Your attention shifts to a deadite wandering too close.

>You quickly dispatch it.

"Who were you expecting? Adolf Hitler?"

>She turns to smash a skeleton.

"Last I checked, we parted company on good terms."

>You stand back to back with her.

>"You're a damn Nazi! If I had known who was over here, I wouldn't have investigated these lights!"

>You both smash your immediate enemies as you chat.

"Well you're here, now. I suggest we work together so we can both make it out alive."

>Suddenly, the deadites begin backing up.

>Westerholt appears, fully healed.

>Along with Sister Andrews.

>"Well, slave. Are you ready to fight for your mistress?"

>A monotone comes from Sister Andrews as she responds to Westerholt.

>"Yes, Mistress. I will capture the two interlopers for you."

>You look over at Sour Sweet's friend.

"I'll take the Stand user. You take the vampire."

>She wrinkles her face in anger, getting on guard.

>"Leave me with a harder opponent? Hmph, I'll still take her down faster than you."

 

"Auf Wiedersehen, Schweinhund!" and "You aren't ready for this!" Vs. "Serve me for Eternity!" and "God, Forgive me!"

 

Finished loading, Baybee!

 

OPEN THE GAME!

 

>Westerholt charges toward the two of you.

>Sister Andrews slowly walked behind her.

"[BENZIN]!"

>Tentacles shoot out under your jacket, forcing you up in the air.

>You jump over Westerholt, who stops to track you.

>She suddenly catches a punch in the face from [I WANNA GO].

>You leave blue hair to deal with the vampire, as you focus on Sister Andrews.

>Sister Andrews looks at you apprehensively.

>You approach cautiously.

>She made this battlefield you're standing in.

>Her power as a Stand user is not to be underestimated.

>"[WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE]!"

>A divot forms between you and her, before being filled with thorns and wooden spikes.

>Does she know who she's dealing with?

>You use [BENZIN] to chop at the vegetation.

>Large machetes chop at the plants, striking out from your jacket.

>As you draw nearer to Sister Andrews, you see she doesn't move.

>She seems to sigh, as if she's disappointed.

>Is she disappointed in you?

>What's in her head that's making her so confident?

>Suddenly, as you strike through a group of thorny vines, another plant begins rapidly growing beneath you.

>The large, stiff petals of this new plant begin closing around you.

>As you struggle against the petals, you realize what you're trapped in.

>It's a giant Venus fly trap!

>[BENZIN]'s arms shoot out to either side, pushing the petals outwards!

>It's gonna try to eat you!

 

>You are Indigo Zap.

>You were visiting with your friend, Sugarcoat.

>Her apartment was a stone's throw away from that creepy church.

>It always unsettled you, seeing it out the window.

>But then you caught sight of the lights in the graveyard.

>You would've left it alone, except Sugarcoat said she heard strange noises.

>Listening for a moment, it sounded like someone was shouting.

>Then you both heard a strange screech piercing the night air.

>Someone was in trouble, you were sure of it.

>You decided to jump out the window, and let your Stand catch you.

>You didn't even think about it, you just knew someone needed help.

>You didn't expect it to be that Nazi who hospitalized Sour Sweet.

>He may have repaid his debt, but that didn't mean you two were cool.

>Did he really have to go that far in whooping Sour Sweet? She's gonna be in the hospital for months!

>And now, here you were, fighting a vampire.

>A fucking vampire.

>You're using a super powered guardian spirit to fight a vampire with a super powered Nazi backing you up.

>...When did your life get so Bizarre?

 

>Your Stand goes to strike the vampire again.

>The vampire immediately jumps out of the way, making your Stand cause a small crater where she was standing.

>How did she see your attack?

>Can she see Stands?!

>The vampire chuckles.

>"Of course I can, pitiful human. I can also read minds."

>What?! How?!

>She raises her own hand to admire it.

>"When I arose as a vampire, I discovered that I had full control over my body. Complete control. I could modify aspects of my body to suit my needs."

>The bitch grins at you, her fangs glinting in the light.

>"I have dealt with Stands in the past, and over time, I learned how to modify my eyes to see them. So while I don't have a Stand myself, I still have the eyes of a Stand user."

>Smug bitch.

>You wanna knock her down a peg.

>You laugh, causing her to frown.

"Well, I guess that makes you more dangerous than I realized."

>Her smile returns.

>"Indeed it does. Now you realize how futile it is to resist me, correct?"

>You give your own grin.

"No, that just means my Stand became more powerful."

>You bring out [I WANNA GO].

"My Stand's power, speed, and toughness increase proportional to how much danger I find myself in. You just made yourself out to be more dangerous to me, which means my Stand increased it's power to compensate. The more dangerous you are, the more dangerous I become."

>[I WANNA GO] charges forward, throwing a fist.

>It's much quicker than the vampire expected.

>You send the vampire flying.

 

>You approach the vampire, who collided with a tree.

>She's kinda embedded in it, now.

>You stop, noticing that she isn't moving.

>...Did you get her?

>No. There's no way she went down that easily.

"[I WANNA GO]!"

>Your Stand rushes forward, throwing a fist.

>The vampire suddenly catches your arm.

>She looks up with an angry smile.

>"One other thing I learned fighting Stand Users. If I hurt the Stand, I hurt the User."

>She sinks her fingers into your Stand, causing wounds to appear on your arm.

>You scream out in pain, clutching the bleeding wounds.

>You recall your Stand before the vampire can wound you more.

>She floats down out of the tree, and casually poses, almost seductively.

>"Unlike you, I can regenerate my wounds. Honestly, did you really think you could kill someone who has two hundred years more battle experience than you?"

>You glare at her, bringing out your Stand again.

>This is gonna be a long fight.

 

>You're Erich Rammstein.

>And you're currently trying hard not to be digested.

>As soon as the petals on the Fly trap closed, the walls began secreting acid.

>Your Stand is melting as soon as it comes in contact with it.

>Fortunately, you have more shadows to work with because of a lack of light inside the fly trap.

>It's easy for you to replenish the melted shadows.

>You need to think.

>Andrews trapped you in here, and you can easily bust out.

>But she could just as easily trap you some other way.

>Truly, her [WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE] has a frightening power.

>For now, you're safe, but you need to think of a way to defeat her.

>You don't want to kill her, but if you can get close enough, you might be able to knock her out.

>If you lash out as hard as you can...

>You begin focusing on the shadows in front of you.

>They gather, forming a spear like shape.

>You will them to launch forward.

>They pierce through the petals of the flytrap, opening to the light.

>Shocked, Andrews uses her Stand to grow trees in the path of your spear.

>You rush up as your spear impales the trees and stops dead.

>Just as you expected, she didn't grow the bioluminescent plants yet.

>You quickly form a large buzzsaw blade in front of you.

>The trees are felled rather quickly.

>Sister Andrews gasps, clearly not expecting you to get through so quickly.

>It's obvious she never used her Stand to fight directly.

>She turns to run, but her habit limits her mobility.

>You easily catch her, clutching her in your arms.

>She starts panicking, hitting your chest ineffectually, not knowing what else to do.

 

>For a moment, you are caught in a conundrum.

>Andrews is just being hypnotized into fighting you.

>You don't want to hurt her, but you can't have her fighting.

>Perhaps what you did with Aryanne would be considered a merciful thing, here.

>If there's anything more out of place than a nun in battle, it's a nun in romance.

>This in mind, you caress her face, and bring her up to look at you.

>You have a gentle, caring expression as you look down upon her.

>You bring your face in close.

>She freezes like a deer in headlights.

>You kiss her lips, and not knowing what to do, she returns the kiss.

>As soon as her lips part, you strike.

>Just as you did with Aryanne, you form a tendril that snakes it's way to her heart.

>With a short pump, the nun is unconscious in your arms.

>You look up at those luminescent plants above.

>There shouldn't be any issue with taking them out, now.

 

>You're Indigo Zap again.

>And it's all you can do to keep track of this vampire.

>Your Stand is crazy powerful now, but the bitch won't stop doing these hit and run tactics on you.

>"I can smell your fear, little girl..."

>Great, now she's taunting you.

>"You're afraid. Afraid that you can't defeat me, even with your power."

>You're getting annoyed with her.

"I know I can beat you, I'm just afraid I won't be able to do it before that Nazi beats your Nun!"

>You hear her laughing.

>"Aww, playing brave, are you? You're still a child compared to me. Nothing more. And naughty children..."

>You feel like she's about to strike, and get on guard.

>"...Must be punished."

>For a moment, nothing happens.

>It's completely quiet.

>...Is she playing mind games with you?

>There's nothing. Nothing you can see out anywhere.

>Suddenly, you hear a noise from above.

>You look up, and see the vampire coming down at you with a shriek.

>"WRRRYYYYYYYYYY-GAH!"

>Just then, a giant fist collides with her, knocking her away.

>You turn and see...the Nazi.

>He did just help you, but...

"What're you doing?! I had her! Get your own opponent!"

>He looks at you passively, before giving a shit eating grin.

>"I had one, but I already beat her."

>God dammit.

 

>”What was that you said about taking her down before me?”

“Shut. Up.”

>He leans toward you slightly, almost condescendingly.

>”Huh? What’s wrong? Can’t take the fact that you lost your own challenge?”

>This Nazi sonuvabitch.

>You’re about to respond, when you hear a loud crash.

>You look over, and see the vampire from before, snarling.

>She holds her hand high in the air, and a horde of Zeds and bones raise up.

>The Nazi looks over at her, narrowing his eyes.

>”Teasing aside, what is your Stand’s ability?”

>Really? NOW he’s asking?

“Why should I tell you?”

>”Because depending on your answer, you either have to deal with her minions while I kill her, or vice-versa.”

>Well, when he puts it that way…

“My Stand’s abilities increase based on how much danger I’m in.”

>He nods.

>”Right. I’ll handle the minions. You take down Westerholt.”

>He brings up a hand, and points at the undead horde.

>”Feuer.”

>Suddenly, a volley of gunshots thunders through the air.

>The horde is whittled down as shadowy bullets pierce the zeds and bones.

>The vampire screeches in anger, glaring at the guy.

>>”How?! How are you able to summon your shadow soldiers?!”

>”Look around. Some of the lights are out.”

>Are they?

>You look, and he’s right. Some of the area in this jungle went dark.

>”They aren’t coming back because I defeated Sister Andrews. Which means you’ve lost your advantage over me.”

>The vampire growls, and starts charging at him.

“[I WANNA GO]!”

>Your Stand tags her, but it was a relatively weak strike.

>She stumbles back, falling down.

>You need to throw yourself in the fray.

“If you want him, you gotta go through me!”

>As much as you hate to admit it, you need to support this guy.

>You can’t handle the undead horde alone, but he can.

>Fine by you.

 

>You charge directly at the vampire.

>For anyone else, that was suicide.

>As she lays eyes on you, she snarls.

>>”WRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYY!”

>She’s coming in for the clash!

>She can see your Stand, and harm it!

>This is gonna get real bad!

>She thrusts forward with the fingers of her hand to stab you.

>”C’mon!”

>Your Stand punches her hand, mutilating it.

>You start unleashing a flurry of blows while your Stand still has power.

>”C’monc’monc’monc’monc’monc’monc’monc’monc’monc’monc’monc’mon!”

>You draw back for a final blow.

>”C’moooooooon!”

>The vampire is thrown back into the shadows.

>You hear the sounds of gunfire and swords swinging.

>The vampire tumbles back out, more mutilated than when she went in.

>She looks in bad shape, but her wounds are slowly regenerating.

>You’re safe until she can attack again.

>...which is bad.

>That means your Stand is weak as shit right now.

>”What’s the issue?”

>You look back at the Nazi.

>He’s standing right behind you.

“I can’t finish her off when there’s no threat to me.”

>”...I see.”

>The sound of sinew stewing together catches your attention.

>The vampire is almost back up, looking more angry than anything else.

>”You can’t defeat her unless you destroy her head.”

>That’s...true.

>But with him here, how are you gonna be able to defeat her at all?

>>”You…”

>She glares at the two of you.

>>”You are too dangerous to keep alive…”

>You get on guard, ready to fight again.

>Suddenly, you feel a pair of hands grab your wrists.

“What the hell?!”

>That Nazi is holding your hands behind your back!

>”Westerholt! Let’s make a deal!”

>The vampire stops.

>”Take this girl, and let me go.”

>Wait, WHAT?!?!

 

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

>He ignores you.

>”This girl is obviously the more dangerous between the two of us! If you promise to spare me and let me go, I’ll make it easy for you to turn her into your slave!”

“You unbelievable sonuvabitch! Get your hands off me, you filthy traitor!”

>You struggle, but this guy’s much stronger than you are.

>You try to stomp on his foot.

>”Ah! Scheiße!”

>He kicks his foot back, but you suddenly feel long, cold tendrils wrapping around your legs.

>Tentacles have come out from under your skirt to restrain you!

>”Stop struggling, you little Hündin.”

“Fucking pervert! Get off me!”

>You hear the vampire laugh.

>>”Your terms are agreeable, Rammstein. Hold her steady, so I can drain her.”

>She’s coming toward you, and you can’t struggle at all.

>You recall your Stand so she doesn’t kill you through it, but that’s about all you CAN do.

>This traitorous Nazi fuck!

>After you came to help him, this is how he repays you?!

>”Get ready…”

>What?

>Ready for what?

>Oh shit, there she is!

>>”Aww, poor little girl. Are you scared? Don’t worry, I’ll end this soon!"

>She’s right in front of you, and drawing back!

>Suddenly, the Nazi lets go of your wrists.

>You can move your hands again!

“[I WANNA GO]!”

>”C’moooooooooooooooooooooon!”

>With a single, solid punch, you land your fist in the vampire’s head.

>Your Stand is so powerful, now, that her head instantly caves in.

>She crumples to the ground.

>But as you watch, she seems to struggle to get up.

>Some of her brain must still be intact.

>”[BENZIN]!”

>A huge fist pops out from under your skirt, smashing what’s left of her head into the ground.

>...That was simultaneously the most awesome, most frightening, and most embarrassing moment of your life.

 

Dual Heat Attack: Faux Betrayal

 

>You’re now completely free of his Stand’s hold.

>You spin around, and punch him in the face.

>He stumbles back, holding his nose.

>Then, he gives a small laugh.

>”Alright, I admit it. I deserve that.”

>You’re damn right!

“You’re the most perverted Nazi I’ve ever met!”

>”I’m the only Nazi you’ve ever met.”

>He straightens up.

>”But in my defense, would your Stand have been so powerful had I told you my plan?”

>You stop.

>You suppose it wouldn’t.

>Still, that was a dirty trick.

“You still embarrassed me with that! What were you thinking, having your Stand come out from under my skirt?!”

>”Name another place on your body that has shadows on it.”

>...

>Shit, he’s got you there.

>You look around, and notice that the zeds had dropped to the ground.

>And the skeletons have turned into piles of bones.

>”She must’ve been maintaining them telepathically. Now that she’s gone, they’re done for.”

>You nod in agreement.

“What about her body? Will she regenerate?”

>”Not if I take it up to the roof of the church. She’s a vampire, so she should burn up with the sunrise. I’ll stay here, make sure she doesn’t regenerate.”

>That takes care of the undead, but…

“What happened to the nun?”

>”She’s still alive. When she wakes up, I’ll talk with her. Thanks for your help. You should get your arm patched up.”

>Huh? He noticed?

>As he turns away to walk off, you can’t help but wonder why he seems like such a nice guy.

>He’s a Nazi, but you can’t help but feel that doesn’t make him a bad guy.

>You go to leave. You have some things to think about.

 

>You’re Erich Rammstein again.

>And you’re sitting on the roof with two figures lying nearby.

>One is the vampire, the other is Sister Andrews.

>And Sister Andrews is coming to.

>You watch as she looks around, trying to determine where she is.

“Have a nice nap?”

>She looks back at you, and gasps.

>You stare at her.

>She gets into a kneeling pose, and puts her hands up in front of her in prayer.

>”O heavenly father, bless me, for I have sinned-”

“That’s enough of that.”

>You’re not one to interrupt a prayer, but she’s not gonna beg forgiveness for something that’s not her fault.

>She looks up at you.

“What you did while under the influence of Westerholt was not your fault. When someone has mental dominion over another, the person influenced can’t be held responsible for their actions. You are not to blame for any of it.”

>She starts sniffling.

>”But...for years, Westerholt has had me lure victims that slip away from her back to her clutches. Whether I was forced to or not, I am still an accomplice to her evil.”

>You start to hear her cry.

>The sunrise is starting, you notice.

>You move to sit next to Andrews.

>Putting an arm around her, you direct her attention to the eastern sky.

>She gasps, and looks over to you, before looking at the sky.

“This is the dawn of a new day for you, Sister. From here on out, your life is yours to control. If you feel you need to pay penance for your actions, then bury the bodies that she caused to rise, and rid the graveyard of all evidence of our battle.”

>You hug her close to you, as the first rays of the sun strike the roof.

>Westerholt’s body is set ablaze by the sunlight’s touch, quickly turning to ash.

>You smile at Andrews.

“With Westerholt’s death, you don’t need to fear bringing pain to anyone else. Pay your penance, and I’m certain God will forgive you.”

>Andrews looks up, smiling, but sadly.

 

>You’re Sister Andrews.

>You want to beg God for forgiveness.

>Even if what Erich said is true, there’s still a sin that must be addressed.

>This man, he’s done so much for you.

>When he swore to help you, you dreaded it because you knew what it meant.

>But somehow, he managed to defeat your captor, and rescue you from servitude.

>And as much as you expected him to want revenge on you for tricking him, instead he forgave you, and gave you a path to penance.

>You began to see him as...not unlike an Angel from heaven.

>Erich…

>That’s right…

>He…

>He kissed you…

>God forgive you, you swore to be chaste, but…

>You feel the temptation to sin more.

 

>You're Erich again.

>After defeating the vampire, and making nice with Sister Andrews, you feel it's time to make your way out of here.

>You've gotta get on with your life, but if you see another vampire, it'll be too soon.

>You bring Andrews down to the church below, and give your goodbyes.

>Somehow, you feel this won't be the last you hear from her.