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Anon wants proper pants

By hotkinkajou
Created: 2020-12-31 14:31:21
Expiry: Never

  1. Originally published MAR 22ND, 2016
  2.  
  3. >You live in Ponyville, and the only place to get clothing without going on a fucking adventure is Rarity's place
  4. >Except Rarity is a dirty, dirty horse and doesn't listen.
  5. >She sells you clothes really cheap, but they are always way, way more erotic than needed.
  6. >At this point you would kill for normal, comfy underwear and not the sparkling studded lacey shit Rarara rarars in her rararacave.
  7. >It would be nice if you didn't have to take a day-long train ride just to shop around, and shopping around while being an alien is a whole other thing entirely..
  8.  
  9. >One day, an associate of Rarity arrives in town.
  10. >Supposedly she is half her worker, half franchisee, half student, all fashion horse.
  11. >She looks way less pervy though. That's a plus.
  12. >Taking your chances, you corner her away from Rarararara and place an order for some REAL UNDERPANTS at last.
  13. >You know that kind of boxers, that are, like, really big?
  14. >The kind that makes you feel like you're going commando?
  15. >The kind your dad wore at home.
  16. >And sometimes used to mop up a spill on floor
  17. >And then dad wore them again be cause he gave zero fucks at all You miss the old fart
  18. >The soft, 0% fancy ass, cock and ball privacy guards.
  19. >You explain your forbidden desires to Coco. After taking some quick measurements, she agrees.
  20. >"Anonymous, I can't promise anything, but I will try and do it by next week."
  21.  
  22. ***
  23.  
  24. >A week later, Coco is in town again to discuss some horse clothing shit with Rarity
  25. >You don't give a fuck, you just need your dadpants
  26. >You barge into Rarara's rarousel rarotique
  27. >"Welcome to Carousel Bout--"
  28. ""Did you bring the stuff?"
  29. >"Anonymous, darling, it's not that I don't like seeing you, quite the contrary, but-"
  30. "Coco! Do you have THEM?"
  31. >"Yes, Anonymous, just let me-"
  32. >You grab the parcel and head to a changing booth
  33. >"...Coco, Anonymous? What is happening? Mon Chere, you commissioned clothing and didn't tell your good friend Rarity? Am I not good enough--"
  34. >Ignoring everything, you drop your pants and tear the package apart.
  35. >Inside are the most... plain-looking pink underpants you've ever seen.
  36. >"Anonymous? I must admit that I chose a color that I've heard you might not like, but, ..but you told me that you don't care how they look, and this was the softest fabric I could get!"
  37. "Blue, yellow pink, whatever, I just need proper pants"
  38. >It's closer to salmon anyway.
  39. >God they're soft. They are so soft it makes you want to rub your face in them.
  40. >Your balls can't wait any longer, and you put the underpants on.
  41.  
  42. ***
  43.  
  44. >Oh.
  45. > ...ooh.
  46. >Oh my god.
  47. >There are no atheists in these pants.
  48. >It's completely unlike the shit Squiggletail tries to pull.
  49. >It feels like a gentle angel is protecting your scrotum from the harsh realities of the world.
  50.  
  51. >Taking a few tentative steps, you feel your junk rub against the soft fabric.
  52. >Or, rather, barely feel it.
  53. >It's like you're wearing nothing at all, and the air around you just stays warm and opaque out of courtesy and respect.
  54. >Are these pants that good, or are your poor jimmies so rustled by Rarity's designs that even normal pants feel like this?
  55.  
  56. >There is only one thing to be done.
  57. >You pull the privacy curtain away and come out, half-naked as you are.
  58. >"Coco, really, is that the best you could possibly do? It looks like you just draped a sack-"
  59. "Shut up."
  60. >Rarity looks like she noticed a dead fly in her morning coffee
  61. >Coco... like she is about to cry.
  62. "Coco Pommel"
  63. >"A-a-anonymous?..."
  64. >Unable to contain yourself, you kneel before her, and take her hoof in your hands.
  65. >Is this what love feels like?
  66. "Coco Pommel, I thank you. I thank you from the bottom of my cock and balls."
  67. >Coco is beet-red with lewd
  68. >Rarity is beet-red with jelly
  69. >Today was a "perhaps horsemarriage isn't that bad an idea after all" day

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