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Rubehog Day: Ruby Destination (/pone/ CYOA)

By Writefag_Roulette
Created: 2021-07-16 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-01-20 14:24:25
Expiry: Never
cyoa/pone/8chanbad endoc protagonist/pone/ board mascots

  1. ==08:00==
  2. >your name is Rubidium Auride
  3. >but most folks can't pronounce that
  4. >so you usually tell them your name is Ruby Ring
  5. >for a living, you run a little jewelry shop in Trottingham
  6. >but right now you're taking a break from all that
  7. >currently you're on vacation in the cozy little country village of Ponyville
  8. >it's very nice here
  9. >green grass, fragrant trees, friendly ponies
  10. >it might be improved somewhat if it didn't have a big crystal castle in the middle of it all
  11. >it just clashes with the rustic aesthetic
  12. >but your hotel is very nice as well
  13. >fluffy blankets, hot water, good food
  14. >it even has a telephone
  15. >but you might prefer if that telephone wasn't ringing right now
  16. >the comfy blankets entrap you and hinder your efforts to crawl out of bed
  17. >but eventually you end up in a big heap of fluffy heaven on the hard floor
  18. >you stand up, blankets wrapped around you like a robe, and make your way over to the telephone
  19. >you take the mouthpiece into your magic, and hold your ear near the earpiece
  20. <"Hello?"
  21. /"Ruby? Ruby, is it you?"
  22. >the Germaneian accent tells you that it's that friend of your sister's
  23. >Ary... Arya...
  24. <"Yes, sweetie, it's me. Who is this?"
  25. /"Do not call me sweetie. Zis is Aryanne."
  26. >right, Aryanne
  27. <"Ah yes, it's very good to talk with you, sweetie, but I simply can't make any more of those little gold emblems for you right now. I'm on vacation."
  28. /"Listen to me, Ruby. Listen well. Your life may be in grave danger."
  29. >if you remember correctly, Aryanne is a bit of a conspiracy theorist
  30. >better to humor her
  31. <"Oh?"
  32. /"Ja! Mein scientists have conducted experiments indicating that you will die before the day is over!"
  33. >what kind of experiments would tell you something like that?
  34. <"Oh, I see. Well, thank you very much for the warning, sweetie. I'll be sure to keep it in mind."
  35. /"Stop calling me sweetie. Do you understand the gravity of your situation?"
  36. <"Yes, yes, very much so. I'm very grateful. I shall take the appropriate measures straight away. Thank you very much."
  37. >with that, the phone is hung up
  38. >you stretch your flank and groan
  39. >well, as long as you're already up, you may as well get your day started
  40. >you figure you'll start with some fresh country air
  41. >did you mention your room comes with a balcony?
  42. >because it does
  43. >a fancy sliding-glass door yields to you and grants you passage to the outside world
  44. >the sunshine gently carresses your cheek
  45. >a cool breeze tickles your nose
  46. >and something heavy smashes into your head
  47.  
  48. ==08:00==
  49. >what a peculiar dream you've just had
  50. >you snuggle deeper into the blankets and go over every detail in your mind
  51. >it was a very vivid dream
  52. >you won't be getting back to sleep after that one
  53. >so you get up, make your way to the lavatory, and begin your morning hygiene
  54. >you're brushing your mane when the telephone starts ringing
  55. >the noise startles you, and a jerking motion causes the brush to get stuck in a tangle
  56. >you sigh and answer the phone
  57. <"Ruby speaking~"
  58. /"Listen to me, Ruby. Listen well. Your life may be in grave danger."
  59. >some invisible being rubs ice cubes along your spine
  60. <"O-oh?"
  61. /"Ja! Mein scientists have conducted experiments indicating that you will die before the day is over!"
  62. >something is screaming silently into your ears
  63. <"Excuse me, sweetie. Do you mind if I check something for a moment?"
  64. /"I have told you before, do not call me sweetie! And do you not understand the gravity of your situation?"
  65. <"When did you tell me not to call you sweetie?"
  66. /"Vh-vhat?"
  67. >you drop the earpiece and step out into your balcony
  68. >the sunshine feels menacingly hot
  69. >the cool breeze seems ominous
  70. >you look up
  71. >is it a flower pot?
  72. >you don't really have time to tell before it breaks your neck
  73.  
  74. ==08:00==
  75. >you're ruining the fluffy blankets with your sweat and tears
  76. >so you get up and wait by the phone
  77. >almost the instant it rings, you're shouting into it
  78. <"What's going on?"
  79. /"Ruby, mein freund. It's Aryanne. Listen. Your life-"
  80. <"Is in grave danger, your scientists, blah blah blah, I'm going to die today, yes?"
  81. /"Um, yes. Vhat is happen?"
  82. >you explain to Aryanne what's happened since you woke up the first time
  83. /"I see, I see. Very interesting. So you get multiple chances."
  84. <"Do you know what's going on? Can you help me?"
  85. /"I think I can. Listen well:"
  86. >Aryanne explains the rules of the game to you as best she can:
  87.  
  88. 1. Every story update represents one hour
  89. 2. At every hour, there will be at least one choice which will result in your death.
  90. 2. If you can make it to midnight, you win.
  91. 3. If you die, in-story you'll wake up at 8 in the morning again, but unless you specify that you want to do something differently, the day will be skimmed over til you respawn at the last hour you completed.
  92. 4. You have until OP goes to bed on Sunday to make it to midnight.
  93. 5. Don't stay in any one place too long.
  94.  
  95. >you thank Aryanne for the information, exchange parting words, and hang up
  96. >don't stay in any one place too long?
  97. >well that should be easy, all you have to do is carry on like a normal tourist then
  98. >you mull over your options as you brush your mane
  99. >maybe you should get some breakfast?
  100. >or try to meet famous ponies?
  101. >a loud clattering noise outside lets you know that there is now a pile of dirt and shattered terra cotta on the balcony
  102.  
  103.  
  104. ==09:00==
  105. >you don't exactly have an appetite right now
  106. >well, how about meeting some famous ponies then?
  107. >that was part of your original purpose in this town, wasn't it?
  108. >the most obvious place to look for famous ponies in Ponyville would be the big ugly crystal castle
  109. >well there's your first destination then
  110. >as soon as you look presentable, you head out into the longest day of your life
  111. >you spot the castle immediately
  112. >seriously, it's about three times as big as any other building in this town and the only crystal structure in a village of wooden walls and thatched rooftops
  113. >the path there is lined with ominous dangers such as happily singing birds and townsfolk cheerily saying hello
  114. >hey, it's not paranoia if they really are out to get you
  115. >fortunately, the walk there is uneventful
  116. >as you get closer, you make out an unusual yet familiar sight
  117. >it's Anonymous
  118. >it'd be hard to miss him, since he's a big, tall... something
  119. >you don't really remember what he is, but he's the only one
  120. >you met him a while back in Trottingham, he said he was doing some soul-searching by taking a grand Equestrian tour
  121. >he did mention something about how he'd lived with Princess Twilight at one point
  122. >was he back now?
  123. >when he'd left Trottingham, the two of you had been on very good terms
  124. >oh, could he help you meet the Princess?
  125. >moreover, he's the closest thing you have to a friend in this town, and it could be very helpful to recruit him as an extra pair of eyes
  126. >you stick your hoof in the air, ready to wave
  127. >and then you bring it back down
  128. >hold on a moment
  129. >Anonymous is a bit of a rough-houser, and something of a klutz besides
  130. >today might not be a good day to greet the big beast
  131. >maybe you should sneak past him to see if you can't meet Princess Twilight at Friendship Court?
  132. >if you told her about your problem, she might be able to help
  133. >or maybe it would just be safest to try some other famous pony and try the Princess later
  134.  
  135.  
  136. ==10:00==
  137. >okay, let's go somewhere else right now
  138. >you've always heard that you look exactly like one of Twilight's friends
  139. >Rarity?
  140. >yeah, Rarity
  141. >and if you're not mistaken, she's in a similar line of work as you
  142. >she runs a few clothing shops around Equestria, here and Canterlot and somewhere else too you think
  143. >mmm, opening a shop in Canterlot would be nice
  144. >hey, since a stress-free vacation is out of the question anyway, you may as well take some time to learn the art of making money
  145. "RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBYYYYYYYYYY!"
  146. >oh dear
  147. >you've been standing in plain sight this whole time
  148. >it seems you've been spotted
  149. >the big, bipedal monster is running straight for you
  150. >you attempt to gallop away, but to no avail
  151. >his otherworldly appendages grab you underneath your forelegs and hoist you high into the air
  152. >and, to your horror, you're tossed high into the air
  153. <"Stop! Stop! Stopstopstopstop!"
  154. >he doesn't seem to hear you over the sound of his own babbling, as he catches you, and throws you again
  155. "I didn't know you were town! Did you come here just for me? Come here, lemme snuggle you! Lemme boop your nose! Who's a good lil horsie?"
  156. >you shriek and flail your marshmallow hooves around, to no avail as you're tossed again
  157. >but he misses the catch
  158. >you're headed for the ground head-first!
  159. >OH NO NO NO NO
  160.  
  161. ==09:00==
  162. >you've woken up, exchanged the morning pleasantries with Aryanne, and now you're outside
  163. >you have got to come up with a better contingency plan for Anonymous encounters than hiding and running away
  164. >he gets off on that
  165. >maybe get the drop on ''him'' next time?
  166. >anyway, it ended being a bit convenient going back to the hotel
  167. >you were able to ask the mare at the front desk where Rarity's shop was
  168. >it's called the Carousel Boutique, and it's not far
  169. >do you still want to go there, or do something else?
  170.  
  171.  
  172. ==10:00==
  173. >of course you still want to meet Rarity
  174. >you certainly don't want to wait around here too long
  175. >hmm
  176. >but somehow you'd feel safer if you were less recognizable
  177. >maybe if you could just…
  178. >a turquoise aura flickers at the top of your peripheral vision
  179. >that should do it
  180. >you pull your mane in front of your eyes
  181. >and it's dark purple
  182. <"This ought to work."
  183. >for a moment it flickers back to red
  184. <"Or not."
  185. >you were never especially powerful with magic
  186. >well, as long as it's purple most of the time
  187. >that should be sufficient to throw off big dumb friendly monsters
  188. >better stick to the shade just to safe though
  189. >fortunately, not much happens on the way to the Boutique
  190. >you do get a few odd looks from townsponies though
  191. >maybe an out-of-town mare with a flickering mane slinking through the shadows isn't as inconspicuous as you'd hoped
  192. >in retrospect, humming a tune that sounds like it's from a spy film was probably unhelpful too
  193. >you're forced to slither forth from the darkness to approach the clothing shop
  194. >the sign reads OPEN
  195. >so, you walk right in
  196. >and you look the manager straight in the eyes
  197. >and you freeze
  198. >so does she
  199. >you cock your head
  200. >so does she
  201. >she touches her nose
  202. >so do you
  203. >it's like she's a perfect recolor of yourself
  204. >what do you say to this incredible creature?
  205.  
  206.  
  207. ==11:00==
  208. <"I really, really like your mane."
  209. >Rarity reaches out and grabs a lock of your hair
  210. >she pulls in toward her face and inhales deeply
  211. >it's fully red again, indicating that your disguise spell has worn off prematurely
  212. <"U-um…"
  213. >Rarity releases your mane and stares into your eyes
  214. >"I like your mane too."
  215. <"Oh, um, thank you."
  216. >"What do you use in it, darling? It's so soft!"
  217. <"Um…"
  218. >what do you use in it?
  219. >it's just some generic stuff
  220. <"Oh, you know, just some shampoo from the supermarket."
  221. >"What?!"
  222. >with that, Rarity clambers past your neck and down your back, and throws her hooves around your flank
  223. >you'd run away right now, but your legs don't seem to function
  224. >also she's kind of heavy
  225. >"Why, but that's impossible. darling! Look at your cutie mark, surely you work in the industry!"
  226. <"The industry?"
  227. >"The fashion industry, you silly girl!"
  228. <"Oh, well, I do run a little jewelry shop in Trottingham."
  229. >"I knew it!"
  230. >at long last, Rarity slides off of you
  231. >she takes your face in her hooves, her own hovering mere inches from yours
  232. >"A fellow fashion entrepreneur using supermarket shampoo? Unthinkable! Unacceptable! You'll ruin your lovely mane! I cannot allow this to go on any longer!"
  233. >she releases her grip on your face and engages in a moment of deep thought
  234. >"I know just what to do! As of this moment, you are my apprentice! Your first lesson shall be a trip to the spa! While we are there, we shall pick out a proper hair care product for you and discuss our experiences in the world of fashion!"
  235. >Rarity's magic engulfs your plot and pushes you toward the door
  236. >"Sweetie Belle! Do mind the shop for me while I'm gone! I'm taking my dear friend…"
  237. <"R-Ruby"
  238. >"I'm taking my dear friend Ruby to the spa!"
  239. >"Let us go, post haste, post haste!"
  240. >in this moment, your belly releases a tremendous growl
  241. >this is enough to shake Rarity from her frenzy
  242. >indeed, she seems almost like an ordinary, not manic pony when she asks
  243. >"Oh, unless you'd like to stop someplace for lunch first. I know all the finest eateries in town!"
  244. >hm, you did skip breakfast, didn't you?
  245.  
  246.  
  247. ==12:00==
  248. <"Mmm, maybe just a quick bite."
  249. >"Ooh, eager to start your education, are we?"
  250. <"Sure."
  251. >"There is one place that's both stylish and quick. It's a delightful little seafood cafe called Caviar. ''Bon oui?''"
  252. <"Mm, yes, sounds good."
  253. >"Come, come along then. The day is young!"
  254. >actually, it's about half over
  255. >praise the Sun
  256. >on the way to the cafe, you and Rarity make some small talk that you've already forgotten by the time you sit down
  257. >as promised, a waiter is with you in no time at all
  258. >a tall, swarthy stallion, his eyepatch and gold tooth clashing with his neat suit-vest
  259. >"Welcome to Caviarghh. I be your waiter, Swarthy Swordfish. How be ye fine ladies on this fine day?"
  260. >Rarity makes some inarticulate giggling noise
  261. <"Delighted, sweetie."
  262. >the waiter's eye fixes onto you
  263. >"I say, lass, is that a Trottingham accent?"
  264. >you give him a fluttering blink, hoping maybe he'll give you a discount if you work your charms right
  265. <"Why, yes it is."
  266. >"Aye? I be from the old city meself. You look right familiar ta me. Did we ever meet up there?"
  267. <"I'm sorry to say I don't recall, sweetie."
  268. >his eye twitches at the "sweetie"
  269. >"Hmm… But mayhaps ye have a kinspony I ken? A sister perhaps?"
  270. <"Ah, I do have a sister. She's not usually in the country though. She's something of a… sailor."
  271. >"sailor" is a technically correct way of putting it
  272. >but "terrorist" might be technically correct too
  273. >hey, as long as it's in international waters, you don't have to say anything
  274. >"I see, I see. Well, in that case, what would you ladies like to eat today?"
  275. >Rarity pipes up
  276. >"Ooh! I'd like the kelp sandwich, please."
  277. >the waiter smiles a big wide smile at you
  278. >"And fer you, miss?"
  279. >the menu isn't particularly large
  280. >it seems there aren't a whole lot of options for herbivores when it comes to seafood
  281. >you're somewhat torn between the seaweed veggie roll, the plankton bread, and the algae soup
  282.  
  283.  
  284. ==13:00==
  285. <"I think.. I'll have the seaweed wrap."
  286. >"Oh, that's a right excellent choice, Miss. Your meals'll be out in 40 knots."
  287. >you're pretty sure he used "knots" incorrectly
  288. >unless he meant it would be out fast, like 40 knot winds?
  289. >hmm…
  290. >Rarity is going on about hair care products
  291. >you're waiting for an opening to ask about how opening her shop in Canterlot went
  292. >but she just won't shut up
  293. >"And of course they have color-preserving shampoos as well, so you don't have to get that lovely red color redone every month."
  294. >that breaks your train of thought
  295. >your hoof caresses your mane defensively
  296. <"What? No. I'm a natural redhead."
  297. >"Oh! Apologies, darling, it just… goes so well with your coat and your eyes I thought it had to be on purpose."
  298. >this bitch
  299. >the food comes out quickly
  300. >you don't really realize that Swarthy Swordfish gives you a long wink as he sets your seaweed veggie wrap on the table
  301. <"Well, that's quite all right then, sweetie."
  302. >like an automatic machine, your horn picks up your seaweed wrap and places it in your mouth
  303. >thoughtlessly, you bite down
  304. >your thoughts return to you when you feel something crawling in your mouth
  305. >why does the Sun think you deserve this?
  306. >your mouth goes wide open and your tongue flies out for you to frantically brush at it with your hooves
  307. >oh, it's spiders
  308. >scorpions
  309. >snakes
  310. >you look down to see the latest entry in a day packed full of untimely deaths for you and behold:
  311. >harmless, fuzzy caterpillars?
  312. >somebody laughs maniacally in a downtown Trottingham accent
  313. >Rarity shrieks and magically picks up her knife
  314. >"Bugs! Ew! Ew! Ew! Gross! Gross! Gross!"
  315. >the knife stabs randomly into the table, puntuating each exclamation of "Gross!"
  316. <"Oh, no no no no no, calm down, calm do-"
  317. >annnnd the knife is in your throat
  318. >you try your best to glare at her as you slip away
  319. >but you're pretty sure she doesn't notice as she proceeds to shriek even louder
  320.  
  321. ==12:00==
  322. >this time you called Aryanne, just to get it out of the way faster
  323. >you still ended up going to Rarity's boutique though
  324. >what? just because she killed you doesn't mean she doesn't still present business opportunities
  325. >this time you took a few measures to keep her from getting too intimate, including nimbly evading her attempt to grab your plot
  326. >she probably means well
  327. >probably
  328. >"There is one place that's both stylish and quick. It's a delightful little seafood cafe called Caviar. ''Bon oui?''"
  329. >maybe you should tell her you don't like seafood
  330. >or maybe just say you're not hungry?
  331.  
  332.  
  333. ==13:00==
  334. <"I'm ah... allergic to seafood."
  335. >"Oh. Well, I'm not quite sure where to go then."
  336. <"Is there someplace we can just pick up some tea and sandwiches perhaps?"
  337. >Rarity holds her hoof to her chin
  338. >"Ah-ha! I know just what to do! My good friend Fluttershy usually has some tea and sandwiches ready. We can go and visit her, and, ah! We can invite her to the spa with us! Doesn't that sound lovely? Fluttershy is a real dear, I just know you'll love her!"
  339. >Fluttershy is another famous pony, right?
  340. <"That sounds perfect."
  341. >"It's a bit of a walk, I hope you don't mind."
  342. <"Not at all. It's gorgeous out."
  343. >actually, it was gorgeous out this morning
  344. >now it's kind of hot
  345. >at least, that's the way it seems to a mare from the city of grey skies and rain
  346. >Rarity keeps remarking that this is why you must pick out higher quality hair care products
  347. >you're not entirely sure what "this" is, but a damp lock of red hair in your eyes gives you a general idea
  348. >finally, you make it to a tiny little cottage outside of town
  349. >Rarity knocks on the door and cheerily greets a yellow pegasus
  350. >"Fluttershy darling, this is Ruby. I'm showing her the ropes of the fashion industry. I was wondering if we might stop by for some tea and sandwiches, and if perhaps you would like to join us at the spa afterwards."
  351. >Fluttershy beams a heartwarming grin
  352. >"Not at all! I was actually just making some."
  353. >Fluttershy turns her benevolent gaze upon you
  354. >"How do you do, Ruby?"
  355.  
  356.  
  357. ==14:00==
  358. >play it safe?
  359. >play it safe
  360. <"Hello, Fluttershy. It's a pleasure to meet you."
  361. >somehow this simple greeting erases Fluttershy's composure
  362. >"Oh, um, likewise."
  363. >she nervously extends a trembling hoof, presumably for a hoofshake
  364. >you take it
  365. >and, how can you resist?
  366. >you kiss it
  367. <"Your mane and good looks are simply stunning, sweetie."
  368. >"Eep!"
  369. >Fluttershy yanks her hoof back and hides behind her stylish mane
  370. >Rarity squeals and giggles and swats at your mane
  371. >"Ruby, you devil, don't tease poor Fluttershy like that!"
  372. >Rarity coaxes Fluttershy out of the shadows
  373. >"It's okay, darling. She didn't mean it."
  374. >"Oh... sh-she didn't?"
  375. <"Well, I do think your mane looks nice."
  376. >she perks up considerably at this
  377. >"Oh, why thank you!"
  378. >why does that make you uneasy?
  379. >probably because everything is making you uneasy today
  380. >relax
  381. >Rarity cheers
  382. >"Right, so, just a quick stop to eat, and then we can all head to the spa!"
  383. >one sandwich break later, and you're walking to the spa with two bona fide famous ponies like you've been friends for years
  384. >the conversation is fun, but it might be improved somewhat if Fluttershy understood the concept of "personal space"
  385. >but sure enough, you eventually get there
  386. >no sooner than you're let in by a couple of spa attendants does Rarity force your gaze upon a wall full of unintelligible plastic bottles
  387. >"Now, it's very important that you pick out something that works for you before you begin."
  388. >you stare at the wall
  389. <"Uhh..."
  390. >"Hm, let me narrow down your options a bit."
  391. >Rarity zips around the wall like some kind of spider and returns with a three bottles
  392. >the first one is described as a red color preserver
  393. >didn't you already explain to her that you were a natural red?
  394. >oh wait, you died after that
  395. >the second is described as a pheremone blend designed to enhance feminine charm
  396. >Fluttershy points at it
  397. >"I think you should use that one."
  398. >the third one was made with some sort of magical ingredients
  399. >"Guaranteed to make your mane shine like the Sun itself!(tm)"
  400. >not a very catchy slogan
  401. >hm...
  402. >which one seems right here?
  403.  
  404.  
  405. ==15:00==
  406. >you look around
  407. >no big bipedal monsters
  408. >no earth pony little sisters
  409. >no white-haired assistants
  410. >nobody here but strangers
  411. >okay
  412. >so your hoof touches the...
  413. >...pheremone blend
  414. >Fluttershy gasps
  415. >Rarity hums
  416. >"Hmm, trying to be discreet, are we? I see. Aloe?"
  417. >an attendant with a rag on her head zips over
  418. >Rarity forks the bottle over to her with conspiratory motions
  419. >"Get my friend Ruby ready for treatment with some of... this. Discretion. Is. Advised."
  420. >Aloe nods and takes you by the hoof into a room with a padded table
  421. >"Please lie here, miss Ruby."
  422. >is Aryanne in the room?
  423. >you climb up onto the table and make yourself comfortable on your belly
  424. <"Say, are you from Germaneia?"
  425. >a squirt of liquid splatters your mane
  426. >"No. I was born in Geneighva."
  427. >hooves begin massaging your scalp
  428. <"Urgh. Ah."
  429. >"Is that... tension. In your scalp?"
  430. <"Uhh..."
  431. >Aloe chuckles
  432. >"I usually don't feel anything like zis above the neck. It seems you're under a great deal of stress."
  433. <"Well... today has been a bit... eventful."
  434. >"Oh my, what happened?"
  435. >well gee
  436. >you did die about four times
  437. <"Oh, I can't really talk about- ah!"
  438. >the hooves are on your neck now
  439. >immediately, pleasure and pain stab your consciousness as the skilled masseuse turns your knotted flesh into jelly
  440. <"Eghhhheghhhhhh..."
  441. >"Zis may take a bit a longer than I anticipated. Do you mind if you're a bit late joining your friends in the bath?"
  442. <"Noooot... aaaat... aaallll..."
  443. >for the next hour
  444. >pleasure becomes pain
  445. >pain becomes pleasure
  446. >reality becomes illusion
  447. >oblivion becomes the universe
  448. >you're pretty sure there's drool on your chin
  449. >after about a thousand years, Aloe taps you on the cheek
  450. >"All done, Miss Ruby. Your friends are waiting for you."
  451. >you float on a cloud out of the room and into another room with a large bath full of steaming water
  452. >Rarity claps her hooves
  453. >"There you are! You look so much better! A few more visits and you might even have those split ends healed!"
  454. >split ends?
  455. >this bitch
  456. >you can't help but notice that her mane is a bit excessively shiny
  457. >and is Fluttershy's mane... just a touch redder?
  458. >"Oh, come in, come in! An hour in here and you'll positively glow! It's important to look your best in the industry, you know. Nobody takes fashion advice from somebody who doesn't look like she takes care of herself."
  459. >she means well
  460. >she means well
  461. >she means well
  462. >gingerly, you lower yourself into the water
  463. >your muscles relax even further and you almost collapse
  464. >oh, drowning in three feet of water would be embarrassing
  465. >even worse, you'd have to live with it afterwards
  466. >you balance yourself out
  467. >Rarity claps again
  468. >"Oh! Do you know what would be simply perfect? Juice! With little umbrellas! Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back!"
  469. >with that, Rarity is gone
  470. >you're alone in the bath with Fluttershy
  471. >she's staring at you with her big, watery eyes
  472. >oh geez
  473. >maybe you should say something to make this a little less awkward
  474.  
  475.  
  476. ==16:00==
  477. >hmmm
  478. >you did see a lot of birdhouses at Fluttershy's cottage
  479. >and a chicken coop
  480. >and a pig pen
  481. >and plenty of great big piles of dung
  482. >it's a pretty safe bet…
  483. <"So, do you like animals?"
  484. >Fluttershy squeaks, and pauses
  485. >and then smiles
  486. >"Why, yes. Is there something you wanted to ask?"
  487. <"Umm…"
  488. >well, as long as she's answering questions about animals
  489. >maybe you can get some advice for Red's birthday present
  490. <"Um, how hardy are parrots, exactly?"
  491. >in a little bit she has you convinced that the scarlet macaw is the bird to buy for a combination of intelligence, color, and intimidation
  492. >the "intimidation" question was met with a puzzled look
  493. >in short time, Rarity returns levitating three glasses of juice, sure enough, with little umbrellas
  494. >she's also got a newspaper
  495. >after settling in the bath and passing out the drinks, Rarity unfolds the newspaper and reads
  496. >"If one 'Ruby Ring' will come to the post office, she may find information of advantage to her."
  497. >Rarity shows you where that is in the classifieds
  498. >"That wouldn't happen to be you, would it?"
  499. <"Probably."
  500. >"Would you like to go and find out about that? I can show where the post office is, if you'd like."
  501. >well
  502. >you've been at the spa for a couple hours now
  503. >it might be about time to leave
  504. >and a little advantageous information would be nice, especially today
  505. >but what if it's a trap?
  506. >well, it's probably not a trap, but you never know what might get you killed when there's a death curse
  507. >and the water is still so nice…
  508.  
  509.  
  510. ==17:00==
  511. >oh it better be from Aryanne
  512. >oh it better be a cure for all this
  513. <"I think I should probably check that out."
  514. >"Mm, good idea. I can take you there. Fluttershy, are you coming?"
  515. >Fluttershy looks at you
  516. >then back at the water
  517. >"I-I'm not quite ready to leave yet…"
  518. >you and Rarity say goodbye to Fluttershy and towel off
  519. >you're just about to walk out of the bath when a blue pegausus with a rainbow mane walks in cheerfully
  520. >she takes one look at Rarity and wheels around
  521. >but the door glows blue and slams in her face
  522. >oh, oh, she's a famous pony too!
  523. >one of the Princess's friends, right?
  524. >or is she on that sports team?
  525. >Ren… something?
  526. >Rarity approaches her like some sort of predatory animal
  527. >"Rainbow Dash! Going so soon?"
  528. >right, Rainbow Dash
  529. >Rainbow Dash fidgets and squirms and smiles and frowns
  530. >"I-I wasn't here for the bath or anything! I-I was just… just!"
  531. >Rarity smirks
  532. >"I was just here to let you know about the fireworks tonight!"
  533. >Rarity's barrage of smug lets up
  534. >"Fireworks? What ever for?"
  535. >"I dunno, Pinkie Pie just found some today and wants to blow them up. Everyone's gonna be there. So, if you'll ex-cuuuse me-"
  536. >the door remains barred by Rarity's magic
  537. >"Well Rainbow, even though you definitely did not come here for the bath, as long as you're here, could you do me one teensy weensy little favor?"
  538. >Rainbow groans
  539. >"You see, I have to take my friend here to the post office, and we're leaving poor poor Fluttershy over there all alone. Would you be a dear and keep her company for me?"
  540. >Rainbow Dash's nose scrunches up
  541. >"F-fine…"
  542. >Rarity plants air-kisses on Rainbow Dash's currently-pink cheeks
  543. >"Thank you so much, darling. Toodles~!"
  544. >you follow Rarity out of the spa as she hysterically laughs her way across the lobby
  545. >once you get outside, she wipes the tears from her eyes
  546. >"Oh, ah, ehehehehe, hum. Right, it should be, ah, this way."
  547. >Rarity resumes her giggles as she explains the feminine shortcomings of Rainbow Dash
  548. >you can sort of understand why it's funny
  549. <"Oh, my sister would be just the same way. She won't go near any water that isn't salty. I'll have to try that on her next time she comes home."
  550. >fond memories of using your magic for the purpose of sisterly bullying resurface at the thought
  551. >"Oh, right, right, you mentioned she was something of a sailor."
  552. >what?
  553. >didn't you die after that?
  554. <"When did I mention that?"
  555. >"Hm? Oh, um, I'm not sure. Anyway, here we are."
  556. <"Ah, so we are."
  557. >a momentary burst of paranoia causes you to hold the door open and allow Rarity to enter before you
  558. >you head in after her and call out
  559. <"Did someone put out an advertisement for Ruby Ring?"
  560. >a post office worker looks up from a magazine to glare at you
  561. >she makes some sort of grunting sound and disappears
  562. >she returns clutching a package by a strand of twine with her teeth
  563. <"Thank you."
  564. >you take the package and examine it
  565. >the return address bears the name "Red Beard"
  566. >damnit, you keep telling her that "Beard" isn't a clever nickname like "Ring" is
  567. >ponies are just going to think she's a stallion
  568. <"Oh, it's from my sister."
  569. >"Ooh, what's inside?"
  570. <"Let's find out."
  571. >the salt-worn, sun-faded cardboard yields easily to your magic
  572. >inside, covering everything else up, is a note
  573. ~"Sup, sis? Aryanne told me to get rid of this for a little while, so I figured I'd send it to you for appraisal. Is this thing worth anything? I'll come by to pick it up next time I come home. In the meanwhile you can use it as a display piece or something, just don't sell it. Love ya, XOXO."
  574. >damnit
  575. >this was to Red's advantage, not yours
  576. >under the note is a little barnacle-encrusted chest
  577.  
  578.  
  579. ==18:00==
  580. >you open it
  581. >inside is something bizarre
  582. >actually, it appears to be an ordinary gold choker with an ordinary ruby embedded in it
  583. >but years of jeweling tell you that something is off about it
  584. >but what?
  585. >"Oh, how sweet! Does she often send you jewelry from her travels?"
  586. <"Uh, yes, actually."
  587. >you're not really focusing on what Rarity is saying
  588. >you pick up the choker with your magic
  589. >and it attacks your throat!
  590. >you prepare to wake up in the hotel bed again
  591. >oh you made it so long this time too
  592. >now you'll have to redo all of it
  593. >whyyyyyyyy
  594. >oh, wait
  595. >you hear fireworks starting to go off
  596. >you're still in the post office
  597. >all it did was put itself on
  598. <"Oh, that's interesting."
  599. >you go to take it off
  600. <"Oh, that's very interesting."
  601. >"What is?"
  602. <"It won't come off."
  603. >"Oh, here, let me try."
  604. >Rarity zaps at the back of the choker
  605. >to no avail
  606. <"Hmm… I think it's magical."
  607. >"Well, we could always take it to Twilight Sparkle. She's good with magical problems like this. If Rainbow Dash was right, she should be at the fireworks right now."
  608. >the post office worker barks at you
  609. >"Well wherever you twose goes, just clear outta here in the next five minutes! We're closin'!"
  610. >oh dear
  611. >what do you fear more?
  612. >explosives?
  613. >or evil magical jewelry?
  614.  
  615.  
  616. ==19:00==
  617. >mmmmmmmmm
  618. >what's more painful?
  619. >getting blown up?
  620. >or getting decapitated?
  621. >or what if Anonymous is at the fireworks?
  622. >"You know, it doesn't look all that bad on you. Kind of ''naughty''..."
  623. >you let out a little shriek
  624. <"I think I'd like to ask Princess Twilight for help!"
  625. >outside the post office, you head toward the fireworks blowing up over the big ugly crystal castle
  626. >it looks even more out-of-place at night
  627. >Rarity catches up to you
  628. >"Wait, Ruby, listen, all I'm saying is that this might not be such a bad thing. Between that choker and the pheremone shampoo-"
  629. >you shriek again
  630. <"I'm going to get raped!"
  631. >"Well, that's not ''quite'' what I was thinking. Unless that's what you're into."
  632. >you shriek and break into a gallop
  633. >reaching the courtyard, you plow into the first purple pony you see
  634. >wait a second, who the hell is this slut?
  635. >her purple is too pinkish, and she's an ordinary unicorn
  636. <"Where is Twilight Sparkle?!"
  637. >"T-Twilight is..."
  638. >someone taps you on the shoulder
  639. >"I'm right here. What do you need?"
  640. >you take a split second to note how bizarre she looks with those oversized wings and that elongated neck
  641. >and then you cling to her foreleg and weep
  642. <"Please help me I don't want to get raped!"
  643. >Rarity gallops in after you, out of breath
  644. >"Ruby! There you are!"
  645. >"Rarity! What did you do to this mare? Why is she crying about rape?!"
  646. >"What? Nothing! I did nothing!"
  647. >"Why does her mane look like yours then?"
  648. >"I-it's pure coincidence! She's upset because that choker attached itself to her and won't come off."
  649. >"Choker?"
  650. >Twilight's hoof props up your chin for a better view of your neck
  651. >"That's a curse detector."
  652. >you recoil; you've been found out!
  653. <"C-curse?"
  654. >"Curse. If you know anything, you should tell me so I can help you. Has anything else strange happened today?"
  655.  
  656.  
  657. ==20:00==
  658. >okay
  659. >fine
  660. >you'll tell her
  661. >she takes you inside the hideous castle along with Rarity and the slut you tackled
  662. >you explain the basic gist of your day thus far
  663. >all 29 hours of it
  664. >Rarity contributes useful details as well:
  665. >"I could have sworn it was dyed!"
  666. >Twilight taps her chin
  667. >"That's an interesting curse. A powerful one too. That would have to be tied to an item. Can you think of anything you've recently handled that may have been cursed?"
  668. >well gee
  669. >any one of the hundreds of ill-gotten pieces of jewelry Red has given you to sell might have been cursed
  670. >actually, if Aryanne told Red to get rid of the curse detector...
  671. >is Red having this problem right now too?
  672. >damnit
  673. <"It's possible that I've handled a few cursed items recently."
  674. >"Is there a chance that you might have any of them with you right now?"
  675. <"No."
  676. >she frowns deeply, but resigns
  677. >"Well, that'll make this a bit more difficult, but I may still be able to help you."
  678. >it's like a great weight has been removed from your shoulders
  679. <"Really?"
  680. >"Mhm!"
  681. >she taps at a page in a spellbook
  682. >"With this spell right here, there's a 75% chance that the curse will be lifted and the curse detector will just fall off!"
  683. <"What's the other 25%?"
  684. >"There's a 24% chance that you'll be vaporized, in which case, you know, no big deal, you can just come back here and try again."
  685. >75+24
  686. >now you're not a genius
  687. >but that doesn't equal 100
  688. <"What's that last 1%?"
  689. >"Oh, it's, um, well, you know."
  690. >she smiles at you
  691. >"That the curse will be lifted, but...
  692. <"But what?"
  693. >"But you'll be vaporized too."
  694. >oh
  695. <"In which case..."
  696. >oh dear
  697. >"You don't come back."
  698.  
  699.  
  700. ==21:00==
  701. >you stare at your hooves for a good minute
  702. >but you already know the answer
  703. <"I'll risk it."
  704. >Twilight puts her hoof on yours
  705. >"All right. If you'd stand away from everyone else, I'll get the spell ready."
  706. >you don't want to be stuck in a death curse time loop forever
  707. >you don't want to find out if you can run out of chances
  708. >this is the right choice
  709. >it has to be
  710. >Twilight stands opposite the room from you in the center of a glowy, magic circle
  711. >"Are you ready?"
  712. <"I-I guess"
  713. >wow
  714. >for potential last words, you'd think you could have sounded a bit more…
  715. >determined or something
  716. >everything gets really bright, and really loud
  717. >everything gets really dark, and really quiet
  718.  
  719. ==08:00==
  720. >the sensation of soft light and fluffy blankets would be welcome in any other situation
  721. <"FUCK"
  722. >you pound at the hotel bed
  723. >the springy mattress sends your hoof back into your face
  724. <"Ow!"
  725. >you flop out of bed
  726. >no sooner are you on the floor than the telephone starts ringing
  727. >you pick it up
  728. <"Aryanne, you kraut slut, you tell me if my sister is involved in this death curse right now!"
  729. /"V-vhat?"
  730. >the flowerpot shatters on the balcony
  731. <"FUCK"
  732. >you drop the earpiece
  733. >throwing the sliding door to the balcony open, you storm outside
  734. >and you promptly throw youself over the guardrails, down 5 stories, and straight into…
  735.  
  736. ==08:00==
  737. >…bed
  738. <"Urrgghh…"
  739. >you were three hours from freedom
  740. >the telephone is ringing
  741.  
  742.  
  743. ==09:00==
  744. >you pick up the phone one last time
  745. <"I know, I know. I'm getting it fixed right now."
  746. >now, onto that beautiful, hideous, crystal palace
  747. >Twilight said you could just try again if the spell failed
  748. >and try again you shall
  749. >the Sun gently strokes your mane as you trot merrily across the cozy little village of Ponyville toward freedom at last
  750. >as you approach the castle, you become gladder and gladder
  751. >so glad, in fact, that it fails to register in your brain when you walk right past a big, friendly monster named Anonymous
  752. >you're about to knock on the great crystal door when you realize, too late, that you've overlooked a very important detail of your adventures today
  753. "RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBYYYYYYYYYY!"
  754. >strange, squishy claws grasp you by the torso and toss you high into the air
  755. >how did you forget about this?!
  756. >Anonymous catches you, and throws you once again
  757. <"Please! Pleasepleaseplease stop!"
  758. >he doesn't seem to hear you over the sound of his deadly affection as you're tossed once again
  759. "I didn't know you were town! Did you come here just for me? Come here, lemme snuggle you! Lemme boop your nose! Who's a good lil horsie?"
  760. >you shriek and flail your marshmallow hooves around, to no avail as you're tossed again
  761. >he misses the catch
  762. >you're headed for the ground head-first!
  763. >OH NO NO NO NO
  764.  
  765. ==25:00==
  766. >right
  767. >well, that was silly of you
  768. >you'll just have to kill some time with Rarity at the spa while you wait for Anonymous to go away
  769. >then you can try Twilight again
  770. >right?
  771. >wait a minute
  772. <"I don't think 25 is a real hour…"
  773. >the fluffy blankets are yanked from your head
  774. /"It is when you are dead."
  775. >you shriek and flop out of the bed, somehow landing hard on a surface of cloud
  776. >Aryanne offers you a hoof and pulls you upright
  777. <"What? D-d-d-d-d-dead?! Why don't I get any more chances?"
  778. /"I assume because OP vent to bed."
  779. <"Well, ah-uh-huh, well, why are you here?"
  780. /"I did not vant to alarm you, but the death curse was laid over all of us."
  781. <"All of us?!"
  782. >there's a flash of light, and something heavy lands on your back
  783. _"H-hi, Ruby. Aryanne."
  784. /"Sketchy."
  785. >Sketchy clambers off of you and helps you up to your hooves again
  786. <"Well, I guess I figured out about Red at least. Is she here yet?"
  787. /"Not yet. She is a scrappy one, only has died maybe one or two times."
  788. <"Oh. Well that's good. Do you think maybe she could use the time loop thing to get us out of here?"
  789. >Aryanne sighs
  790. /"Probably not."
  791. <"Oh. So what do we do for the rest of forever?"
  792. _"Ooh! Ooh! I know! I know!"
  793. >Sketchy draws a large pound sign in the cloud with her hoof, and makes an "X" in the center square
  794. >you sigh, and obligingly draw an "O" right next to it
  795. >this might get boring after a few thousand years
  796.  
  797. ==END==

Horse Confessions

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Anon Tried to Kill Himself

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