[FLUTTERRAPE] Lovemare Fluttershy


                                            The stunning albeit unwanted conclusion to https://ponepaste.org/3764


                                            ---


                                            >The mare beside you gently shakes with mirth.

                                            >Her laughter is melodic; almost as alluring as the pony herself.

                                            >You smile politely and wait for her settle, and when she does she looks approvingly to you.

                                            >"Fluttershy, in your own little way, you're perhaps even more entertaining than Pinkie Pie at times."

                                            >A red flush fills your cheeks and you paw at the ground bashfully.

                                            "I don't know about that, Princess..."

                                            >"And that, too, I already said to just call me Cadance!"

                                            "I'm sorry, I forget," you laugh nervously.

                                            >The alicorn beside you titters again, clearly in the best of moods as you both stroll along the promenade towards the Crystal Castle.

                                            >It truly is a captivating city, yet even the intricate, exotic nature of the buildings and monuments pale in comparison to its people.

                                            >Crystal ponies, their heads held high and hearts full of joy, busily go about their days.

                                            >Their vigour is infectious; ever an industrious people, they can never be caught slacking, their every action fuelled by a zest for life that other nations can seldom match.

                                            >As Cadance explains, being liberated from the tyranny of Sombra instilled in each and every one of them a passionate hope for the future.

                                            >And being the Princess of Love, she feels a certain kinship with them; their hearts as pure and untrammelled by cynicism as hers.

                                            >Finally, you come to the square below the Crystal Castle, and the two of you behold the literal heart of all that surrounds you.

                                            >The Crystal Heart, an artifact of supreme magical power, thrums rhythmically with the energy of its realm; a reflection of the souls of those that live under its protection.

                                            >Just as the Heart fuels them, they fuel the Heart.

                                            >So long as they continue to do so, they are indomitable.

                                            >Cadance hums, and nudges you, "Entrancing, isn't it? I could watch it for hours, and truth be told sometimes have; it calls to me, if that makes sense. I can feel its presence in my bones."

                                            "It's amazing; it keeps out the cold, too? For somewhere in the middle of a tundra it's very warm here."

                                            >She nods sagely, "It does, but it can only do so when the ponies around it believe in it so. They strengthen the Heart, and it strengthens them in turn."

                                            >Her smile becomes distant; whimsical, "The perfect allegory."

                                            >After another moment of the two of you beholding the Heart, she shifts closer, affectionately regarding you.

                                            >"I appreciate your help so much, Fluttershy. It can't have been easy getting all those new animals to settle in here."

                                            "Oh not at all, I just had to explain to them that this was their new home! It may take a while for them to truly call the Empire theirs, but so long as their handlers continue to look after them the way I showed them, I'm sure they'll be just fine."

                                            >The Princess beams at you, her adoration clear as day.

                                            >"You're a kind soul, Fluttershy; I've never noticed until today, but something about you just... resonates with me. I feel as connected to you as I do to the Heart!" she finishes with a laugh.

                                            >You blush again, finding it hard to hold her gaze for very long and looking away with mild embarrassment.

                                            "Th-thank you..."

                                            >She leans close again, a playful look about her.

                                            >"I'm sure that one day, a certain stallion would be very lucky to have you, if not already?" She punctuates that with a suggestive nudge.

                                            "W-well there's one I've got my eye on..."

                                            >Cadance giggles, "I know you well enough to know that I mustn't pry. I would escort you back to the station myself, but I must meet with Shining Armor to discuss... taxes." She smirks knowingly to herself. "I hope you have a pleasant trip back, Fluttershy. If you ever want to come up again, even if it's just to visit, I would be honoured to host you."

                                            >She even lowers herself into a bow, drawing the attention of a few ponies nearby and causing you to retreat even further into yourself, mumbling a mix of thanks and apologies.

                                            >The mare straightens up and laughs again, "Oh but you're so easy to put on the spot! Fluttershy, you are an absolute treasure." She promptly unfurls her wings. "Be well, my friend, until we meet again!"

                                            >And with that, she takes flight, gracefully climbing up to one of the many high-arched windows of the castle proper before disappearing inside.

                                            >You watch her go, admiring (and secretly very envious of) the effortlessly seductive manner of her movements.

                                            >Cadance is a pony who has to be seen to be believed; a mare so absurdly attractive that many refuse to confirm she even exists until they meet her.

                                            >Quite fitting that a mare that inspires such aspiration (read: feminine jealousy) in mares, and such confidence (read: masculine lust) in stallions, should become the Princess of Love.

                                            >A far cry from plain old Fluttershy.

                                            >Still, you must work with what you were given if you're ever going to win over Anonymous.

                                            >Your eyes drift back to the Crystal Heart.

                                            >It pulses with raw magical power, the dulcet hums tantalising to the ears.

                                            >You find yourself drawn to it, and edge closer until the Heart is but a pony-length away from you.

                                            >Your head cocks sideways, hypnotised by it.

                                            >It's such a beautiful thing to behold.

                                            >Surprising, really, that the Crystal Empire leaves it out in the open like this.

                                            >Though beauty must be seen to be truly appreciated.

                                            >Your expression becomes wistful, and you allow the music of the Heart to grace your ears and fill your soul with its melodious symphony.


                                            >You lightly hold the tiny ceremonial sword's hilt between your index finger and thumb.

                                            >Gently, you tap it against each shoulder of the field mouse before you, then once on its head to finish the ritual.

                                            "In honour of your acts of selfless bravery and heroism throughout this grave and miserable war, I dub thee, Sir Sqeakums, a Knight of the Realm."

                                            >Sir Squeakums squeaks in high-pitched gratitude.

                                            "Your courage will never be known to most in Equestria, nor even Ponyville, but the generations to come will owe their peaceful existence to you."

                                            >Still sitting cross-legged in your front garden, a sizeable party of eccentrically-dressed field mice of varying shapes and sizes before you, you throw a hand to your forehead in a firm salute.

                                            "A-and that you accept our thanks and these gifts with such humility, such stoic honour," tears well in your eyes as you struggle to contain your emotions, "I will forever be proud to call you my friend."

                                            >Sir Squeakums nods once and uses his adorable little mouse-hands to set his battle-scarred helmet back on his head.

                                            >At last, he turns to his eclectic band of adventurer companions and nods, the group rushing towards the long grass at the edge of your garden.

                                            >You watch him go, filled with pride.

                                            >He stops just before the undergrowth and turns back to you, offering a final wave before darting into the green.

                                            >You release the breath you were holding and stand up, thinking about the secret war that was just fought for the future of this world.

                                            >You can only feel pity for anyone who wasn't along for the ride; such poor, sad folk to have missed such a thrilling, action-packed, and heart-warming adventure that would surely become the stuff of legends.

                                            >Turning back to your house, you walk through the door in solemn contemplation, gently closing it on both the outside world, and on yet another of your wondrous adventures.

                                            >...

                                            >Knock knock knock.

                                            >You open the door again to see Fluttershy, now apparently made of a strange crystalline lattice and heaving for breath with raw animal panic in her eyes.

                                            >"ANON I REALLY MESSED UP THIS TIME."

                                            "Here we go again."


                                            >The pony is perched, alert, on a chair in your basement; eyes darting between you and the door leading up the stairs to the ground floor.

                                            >You yawn as you drag a chair next to her, seating yourself and leaning an arm on the well-used poker table you're both sat next to.

                                            "Alright, Fluttershy," she snaps back to you, still shimmering in the dim light, "What is it this time."

                                            >"I um," she swallows and displays a wavering smile, "I-I stole the power of the Crystal Empire."

                                            >You nod, slowly.

                                            "Uh huh. Anything else?"

                                            >"N-no, just that this time."

                                            "You sure it wasn't anything else? No shady deals or alcohol involved?"

                                            >"No. Just regular old magic."

                                            "Right," you stare at her chest and realise you can sort of see right through her if you squint, "regular magic."

                                            >"I was with Cadance, and she was showing me the Crystal Heart, and then she left and I thought it was pretty so I sort of maybe touched it a little bit."

                                            "Okay," you encourage her to continue with a hand, "then what?"

                                            >"Th-then I felt like I had a hundred-thousand hearts beating in my chest at once and I felt weightless and limitless like my soul had expanded and when I opened my eyes everything was dark and the Crystal Heart wasn't beating anymore."

                                            "Mhm. And after that you informed Princess Cadance?" you ask, with all the patience of a teacher assigned to deal with a special-needs child.

                                            >She shakes her head.

                                            "You contacted the guard?"

                                            >Another shake.

                                            "You explained to someone nearby the mistake you'd made?"

                                            >Yet another.

                                            "You did something one might describe as 'sensible'?"

                                            >She trembles in her chair.

                                            "You quite literally trekked one thousand miles back from the Crystal Empire and right to my doorstep and not once did you think you might be making the wrong decision?"

                                            >After a moment of thinking, she nods hastily, then catches herself and shakes her head just as vigorously.

                                            "You -didn't- travel a thousand miles?"

                                            >"W-well technically I did; I took the train."

                                            "After stealing the wellspring of magic from the heart of the Crystal Empire, you then took the public train back from the Crystal Empire."

                                            >She nods.

                                            "I see... I see; and did anyone notice you do this?"

                                            >"Um. Maybe."

                                            "Fluttershy."

                                            >"A few ponies."

                                            "Fluttershy."

                                            >"A lot of ponies."

                                            "Fluttershy."

                                            >"All of the nearby guards and ponies that were there when it happened and also everyone between them and the train station."

                                            "And what did they see?"

                                            >"They saw me touch the heart, the entire city went dark, all the ponies lost their magic, it suddenly got really cold, and I was the only one glowing with magic and I screamed and panicked and then tried to escape. Also I look like this now and for some reason when I cry diamonds come out instead of tears." she taps two shining forehooves together nervously and it makes a small ringing sound, like a vibrating tuning fork.

                                            "...Right."

                                            >"...Yes."

                                            >You press the palms of your hands together against your lips, fingers pointing at the ceiling, and take a deep breath through your nose.

                                            "Fluttershy," you point your hands at her, "do you happen to be feeling anything approximating divinity at the moment."

                                            >"I-I can see into your heart and read your darkest fears? I know everything that makes you happy and sad, I can taste your emotions as they radiate off you, I feel so much empathy for you that I can almost see myself through your eyes and am so closely bonded to your psyche that I can probably say with legitimate certainty at this point that I'm your soulmate? Does that count?"

                                            "That might count, yes."

                                            >"Then yes I think I'm feeling divine right about now."

                                            "And are you going to use any of this newfound power for anything? Any long-term goals you have in mind?"

                                            >"Um. Well we could go on a date? I guess since I'm sort of see-through now that if we ever got in bed you'd be able to see your um, you know, inside me?"

                                            "And nothing else comes to mind. Seeing as how you literally just said you know all my secrets and what sort of things I'm into. I'm actually an open book before you and you need only act on what you can see."

                                            >"...Would you like a grilled cheese sandwich? I know you like those."

                                            "You are an absolute -shambles- of a mare, Fluttershy."


                                            >"Where are we going?"

                                            "Where do you think?"

                                            >"Again?"

                                            "Hey, as far as I know, Twilight's not in heat anymore; it's the middle of the day, you don't look like her celestial obsession anymore, and she's still riding the high of having saved the Crystal Empire from Sombra a few months back. I'm sure she'll be fine with you siphoning all the energy out of the people living there and plunging them back into an era of darkness at the brutal mercy of the endless winter around them."

                                            >You pause momentarily and mentally comb over what you just said.

                                            "Actually, she's going to be absolutely livid."

                                            >Fluttershy whimpers.

                                            "But don't worry, I'm sure she'll be understanding if you just explain to her what you did and why you did it." You frown. "Why -did- you do it, again?"

                                            >"It was pretty."

                                            "It was pretty."

                                            >"It was -really- pretty, Anon."

                                            "The glowing mystical artifact was pretty, so you just sorta went 'poke'. That's just what you tend to do when confronted with power?"

                                            >"Sorry..."

                                            "I'm glad I'm stranded on your world, and not the other way around. I feel like you'd be the sort of person to stick a fork in a power outlet."

                                            >"Is that good thing?"

                                            "It's an electrifying experience."

                                            >Following a short walk, you briskly knock on Twilight's library door.

                                            >Fluttershy rubs one glistening, faceted foreleg against another as she counts down the seconds before getting yelled at again.

                                            >The door opens to instead reveal Spike.

                                            >He seems flustered, and wipes his forehead as he sees the two of you, but grins cheerfully all the same.

                                            >"Hi, guys! What's up?"

                                            "Hey, Spike. Busy?"

                                            >"Heh, yeah, gotta clean the whole library from top to bottom before Twilight gets back."

                                            >Your eyebrows narrow slightly.

                                            "Gets back?"

                                            >"Yup; she's gone to Canterlot for a day for some royal business, something about her studies, so you know nothing's gonna stop that. Why, do you need her? I could send a letter if you'd like."

                                            "Would you mind? We need her back here pronto; Fluttershy, uh..."

                                            >You look down at your companion, and study her under the radiance of the sun.

                                            >Her entire body glistens; each facet of her coat refracting the light and giving the appearance of a persistent sparkling, similar to a sun-speckled stream.

                                            >Adorning her spruced up, newly-curled mane are several flowers, which on closer inspection seem to be made of crystal themselves.

                                            >The entire pony is radiant, and the slack-jawed expressions of many a stallion and mare as you made your way here earlier had not gone unnoticed.

                                            "...Fluttershy broke, again."

                                            >Spike nods as though this is the most normal thing in the world.

                                            >"Yeah, that's fair. I'll send her a note later on today, is that alright? She should be back by tomorrow evening anyway, so she'll be able to fix Fluttershy then."

                                            >He sighs.

                                            >"Shame we can't use 'the spice' anymore."

                                            "Yes, I know." You frown at Fluttershy, who's wearing a guilty smile. "Shy's thrilled about it, as you can imagine."

                                            >"I don't get why though," Spike huffs, "it was a go-to in so many of my recipes!"

                                            >You give a half-hearted shrug.

                                            "Luna had it banned for being 'dangerous', what can you do? Blame Rainbow Dash if you must, she started it."

                                            >Spike shakes his head.

                                            >"Whatever the case; we don't have any, Twi still needs to get back, and I need to clear this place up before she does. Need anything else?"

                                            "Nah, that's all; thanks Spike, and thanks again for your help with the mouse-thing earlier."

                                            >You give him a fist-bump and wish him well as you turn to leave, Fluttershy sticking to your side as she always does.

                                            "Well, you're a lucky mare; other than your uncanny knack for ascendance." you say nonchalantly.

                                            >She looks over her shoulder as you walk away from the library, then looks back to you and speaks in hushed tones.

                                            >"Anon, I don't want to alarm you, but whilst we were talking I was reading Spike's emotions."

                                            "I'd say that's a gross violation of his privacy, but you -have- taken photos of me on the toilet so anything goes when it comes to you."

                                            >"Um, yes, but-- well, this might come as a shock but..." She gulps. "He's in love with Rarity!"

                                            >...

                                            "You really were the slowest pegasus in Cloudsdale, weren't you?"

                                            >"I thought he was gay!"

                                            "What made you think that?"

                                            >"He's an effeminate purple dragon!"

                                            "What's gay about a purple drag-- okay no, I see your point, you're absolutely right."

                                            >You think over your current predicament as you wander somewhat aimlessly down the streets of Ponyville, your hands in your pockets.

                                            >Glance at Fluttershy, who, as always, is glancing at you as she walks; she can never take her eyes off you for long.

                                            "...So you can see into -everyone's- souls?"


                                            "Him." you nod at a passing stallion.

                                            >Fluttershy stares at him.

                                            >"He's cheating on his wife with her sister."

                                            "Oof. What about him?"

                                            >"He's cheating on his wife with his -own- sister."

                                            "Ew. And him?"

                                            >"He is both his wife -and- his sister."

                                            "Well now that's just ridiculous."

                                            >You look away from the gibbering lunatic convulsing across the street from you and turn back to Fluttershy, the two of you sitting in the outdoor seating area at a café, enjoying a drink.

                                            >She smiles at you.

                                            >"So does this count as our date?"

                                            "Sure, why not. Not like anything will come of it."

                                            >"Nothing?"

                                            "Nope."

                                            >"What if I use my powers to sway you?"

                                            "I doubt that'll work."

                                            >"You sound like someone who doesn't want a grilled cheese sandwich."

                                            "Again with the sandwich, surely you can do better than that?"

                                            >"Well I could always--"

                                            >The pony yelps and inexplicably drops under the table, trembling.

                                            >You ignore her for a moment and sip from your drink, mustering the will to press on.

                                            >Maybe this will be the last time, you think to yourself.

                                            >She's running out of princesses and deities to siphon power from.

                                            >Who would be left after this, Discord?

                                            >...

                                            >The hand gripping your drink trembles at the notion.

                                            >One problem at a time, Anon; hang in there.

                                            >At least this isn't as bad as the exploded geraniums.

                                            >You lean over and regard the shivering pony under the table with bemusement.

                                            "You okay, champ? You hiding from the sky now? Can you feel your ancestors judging you?"

                                            >She mumbles incoherently and waves a hoof at something behind you.

                                            >Twist around in your seat and look where she's pointing.

                                            >And promptly spin back around with a start when you see a legitimate Crystal Pony Royal Guard questioning a nearby stallion.

                                            >You survey the area quickly and now realise that there are Crystal Guard everywhere.

                                            "Ooh drat."

                                            >"If they find me they'll kill me!" comes the panicked voice beneath the table.

                                            "Now I'm sure it won't be that bad--"

                                            >"When they saw me take the power of the Heart they said 'death or taxes to the usurper'!"

                                            "...Well okay that's terrible, then."

                                            >"Anon, you have to hide me! I don't want to die!" she's on the verge of hysterics.

                                            >You rub your stubble in thought, then snap your fingers.

                                            "Hold on now, Fluttershy; I've got a cunning plan."


                                            >The Crystal Guard marches to your table and grants the two of you a courteous nod.

                                            >"Good morning sir, ma'am. We're in the area looking for a fugitive that escaped from the Crystal Empire. Have either of you seen this pony?"

                                            >He slides a photograph onto the table.

                                            >It's a remarkably good picture of Fluttershy, apparently running in terror towards the train station.

                                            >A very cinematic shot; good lightning and little-to-no motion blur. For some reason there's an explosion going off in the background and a screaming mare clutching a baby to one side. Fluttershy also appears noticeably slimmer.

                                            >You nod in appreciation, then shake your head.

                                            "Nope, never seen her before in my life."

                                            >The guard grunts and turns to your companion.

                                            >"Ma'am?"

                                            >Fluttershy, now wearing a bright red lobster hat, sweats under his scrutiny.

                                            >"I-I've not seen her either."

                                            >The guard narrows his eyes, then slowly raises the photograph to compare the two.

                                            >He glances between the crystal-magic infused Fluttershy in the picture, and the crystal-magic infused Fluttershy wearing a lobster on her head before him.

                                            >"Hm..." He smiles. "My apologies, ma'am, I had to make sure. You two have a good day now."

                                            >He walks away and begins questioning other ponies.

                                            >Fluttershy lets out a long breath and sags in her seat.

                                            >"I can't believe that worked."

                                            "I'll believe anything at this point, Fluttershy."


                                            >You both proceed through town on the way home.

                                            >Fluttershy keeps a tight grip on her hat, fearing every gust of wind.

                                            >Crystal Guards stop you every so often, but thankfully the disguise holds.

                                            >Eventually, you make it back to your refuge from the madness of the day.

                                            >As you step over the threshold and let Fluttershy pass you, you hear a familiar voice cry out, and your stomach flips.

                                            >"Anonymous! You're back, thank Celestia!"

                                            >You close the door just in time to see Princess Cadance come dashing out from your living room and into the hallway, tackling you in a rib-crushing hug.

                                            >She speaks frantically as you try not to lose consciousness.

                                            >"I tried flying over the town to see you but couldn't find you so I came back here to wait and Twilight isn't here and I have a serious problem!"

                                            "Alright, alright, slow down, let's uh, take it to the kitchen."

                                            >Cadance nods shakily before she finally realises there's a 3rd person in the hallway with her.

                                            >She glances at Fluttershy, who had been pressing herself against the wall between the two of you, hyperventilating and trying not to die from stress.

                                            >Cadance gives a weak grin.

                                            >"Hello there; I'm sorry, this must be a shock to you, are you one of Anon's friends? My name is Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, I am the co-ruler of the Crystal Empire."

                                            >She extends a hoof.

                                            >As Fluttershy peels herself off the wall and tentatively shakes hooves with the Princess, introducing herself as Flutershy (one T), you glance up at the ceiling and silently ask God if he's laughing at you.

                                            >You don't receive an answer, which leads you to believe that either he didn't hear you because he's laughing so hard, or he's ignoring you because he doesn't respect you.

                                            >Either way, you're incensed.

                                            >You lead Cadance into the kitchen, and the three of you sit down in a triangle.

                                            >After a deep, shuddering breath, Cadance begins, a sad smile gracing her lips.

                                            >"Anonymous, Flutershy... I have terrible news. Fluttershy has... she's stolen the power of the Crystal Empire."

                                            "What, Fluttershy, oh no." you say, deadpan.

                                            >"I know! I know, it's hard for me to accept as well, but we must face facts. Whether she was driven mad by an ambition for power or she just got bored of being the quiet, demure, oddly kissable mare she is; she siphoned the magic from the Crystal Heart then made a daring, cinematic escape to the train station."

                                            "Cinematic?" you click your tongue. "The worst kind of escape."

                                            >"I know. There were explosions and everything, it was awful."

                                            >You nod sympathetically, and look at Fluttershy.

                                            >Her eyes are twitching and she seems to be on the verge of passing out.

                                            >"We know she's here in Ponyville somewhere, so the Crystal Guard are combing the area now searching for her. We'll find her, Anon, and we'll bring her to justice. I'd bring Twilight in on this too, but she's not around."

                                            "What about Celestia and Luna?"

                                            >"I'd prefer to keep this to myself if at all possible, Auntie doesn't need to know about -everything- that goes wrong."

                                            "Right," you nod, "that's a reasonable answer, I agree whole-heartedly with that line of thinking, it's really smart and not asinine."

                                            >"Th-thanks, Anon," she reaches across the table and strokes your hand with a tender look, "you always know just what to say."

                                            "So when you find Fluttershy, what will you do?"

                                            >"Well... we'll need to extract the magic from her; it's unlikely she'll give it up willingly, so we'll have to use force to break her down."

                                            >Fluttershy sucks in a deep breath and wipes her sopping wet forehead with a hoof.

                                            "I see. What kind of force, might I ask?"

                                            >"I suppose we'd need to start with psychological measures; shatter her willpower and break her psyche, render her a barely sapient wreck of a mare. We'd give her a milkshake then knock it over before she can drink it."

                                            "Is that necessary?"

                                            >"No, but it adds dramatic effect to the whole process."

                                            "Right. And then?"

                                            >"Then we'd shave off all her fur and cover her in glue and feathers, after which we'd all point and laugh and say "ha ha, now you look like a chicken," she says somberly.

                                            "Yes, yes I would probably do that too," you nod with as much seriousness you can muster.

                                            >You look to Fluttershy, who has lost all the colour in her crystalline cheeks, then turn back to Cadance.

                                            "What then?"

                                            >"Then we'd push her over a few times, and whenever she'd try to get up we'd offer a hoof, but when she reaches for the hoof we'd pull back at the last second and call her a dork..."

                                            "Cruel, but justified."

                                            >"Yes. And then we'll give her a wedgie," she states, to which your expression flares in faux-anger.

                                            "You weren't raised to be such a despot, Cadance!"

                                            >"What else am I supposed to do, Anon?!" she slams her hooves on the table, tears welling in her eyes, "My ponies are hurting! We need our magic back, or the Empire will die! What else would you have me do?!"

                                            "But this is Fluttershy, Cadance; surely she can be redeemed? Did you not say she was oddly kissable? That has to count for something?"

                                            >"Fluttershy's lips are indeed soft and very gentle and would probably feel great to make out with, but that doesn't distract from her crimes!"

                                            "And what if she gave the magic up willingly? What then?"

                                            >"There's no chance of that--"

                                            "But -what if-, Cadance?"

                                            >"Then... then we'd just take the magic and go home, there wouldn't really be any further issues."

                                            "...Really?"

                                            >She shrugs.

                                            >"Well sure, so long as she's very sorry and understands what she did wrong and promises not to do it again, all will be forgiven."

                                            "I see, I see." you bob your head in thought.

                                            >Then reach over and pull off Fluttershy's lobster hat.

                                            >Cadance recoils in horror.

                                            >"Gah! Flutershy, you... you were Fluttershy the whole time?!"

                                            >Fluttershy (two T's) nods, diamond tears streaking down her cheeks.

                                            >You lean back and count them as they bounce around on the floor.

                                            >"How -could- you, Fluttershy? I trusted you!"

                                            >"I'm sorry, Princess Cadance! I... I panicked! I didn't mean to touch the Heart, it just happened so fast and I didn't know what to do!"

                                            >Both mares start sobbing and rush to hug each other, burbling apologies; meanwhile you're watching your net worth multiply with each passing second with a great deal of satisfaction.

                                            >You always knew your penchant for making women cry would come in handy.

                                            >Stand up and go over the cupboard to find a dustpan and brush with which to collect your newfound wealth as the two mares in your kitchen literally kiss and make up.

                                            >By the time you've found it (it was hidden behind the dog food you keep for poker night) you turn to see Fluttershy back to normal and Cadance wiping her lips, glowing with magical energy, her form having taken on that of an empowered Crystal Pony.

                                            "Neat."

                                            >"Very neat," she smiles. "I suppose now we shall return to the Empire, and all will be well again."

                                            "Alright, cool, I'll see you around I suppose, Cadance. Thanks for stopping by."

                                            >"And thank you, Anonymous. You truly are the greatest hero of our times."

                                            "I literally didn't do anything."

                                            >"But you're still a hero to -me-, Anon."

                                            "You're married, let's keep it civil."

                                            >She pouts.

                                            "Also the greatest hero of our times is a field mouse, show some respect."

                                            >"A field mouse?"

                                            "Yeah it was this whole B-plot that never really went anywhere, don't worry about it."

                                            >She nods, as if that's a perfectly reasonable thing for a person to say, and heads for the door after sharing a tearful goodbye with Fluttershy.

                                            >The door slams shut, and silence reigns.

                                            >Slump back into your chair, Fluttershy gently setting into the other, chewing her lip and staring into space.

                                            >...

                                            "Right, okay, so that's that. Again."

                                            >"Glad that's over."

                                            "What a slog."

                                            >"Why does this keep happening?"

                                            "No good asking me, you're the one that keeps doing this."

                                            >"It's not my fault--"

                                            "Three times it's happened, twice were your fault."

                                            >"Well next time it -definitely- won't be my fault."

                                            "If there's a fourth time I'm moving to Fillydelphia."

                                            >"But what about our adventures?"

                                            "Our adventures can go to hell, I'm not dealing with these outlandish shenanigans again."

                                            >"Aww..."

                                            "I hope you learnt something from all this."

                                            >"Like what?"

                                            "Like how talking to people before you do something ridiculous can prevent things from spiralling out of control."

                                            >"You know, I never thought about it that way... I think I've really grown today, Anon."

                                            "Well good, it only took you three stories."

                                            >...

                                            >The two of you sit there for a while, counting the ticks and tocks from the nearby clock.

                                            >"So now what?"

                                            "I forgot what I was supposed to be doing today, so I have no idea."

                                            >"If you're not doing anything, we could have sex?"

                                            "You say that so casually, like it was actually a possibility."

                                            >"Worth a shot, right?"

                                            "Baffles me that you didn't do anything with all that power. Another golden opportunity wasted."

                                            >"Having power isn't all it's cracked up to be, Anon. Maybe it's for the best I didn't abuse it; sometimes the best people to invest power in are those that are the most unwilling to use it."

                                            "That's a very profound thought, Fluttershy; I'm impressed."

                                            >"Are philosophical insights your fetish?"

                                            "Why are you asking me that when you already know damn well what my fetish is? You've been staring into my soul all afternoon."

                                            >She looks down at the table, scrunches her face, then looks up at you again with a face of shame mixed with regret.

                                            >"I-I forgot what it was already."

                                            >You deflate even further into your chair with a world-weary sigh, your head leant back and eyes closing.

                                            "Fluttershy, Fluttershy, Fluttershy," you ask the ceiling, "What the hell are we going to do with you."

                                            >"You could take me on another date?"

                                            "...One condition."

                                            >"Yes?"

                                            "You have to wear the lobster hat."


                                            >She totally wears the lobster hat.


                                            The End.