ALSO Burnout

>You are Anon

>Unofficial top burnout here at Canterlot High

>Where everyone else in this crazy school is over happy and exuberant you are equally tired and misanthropic

>But you get along well enough with the school's various oddballs and other random cliques that no one really pays you any mind, especially after you decided to join the football team after your freshman year

>Still it means that people don't really pay enough attention to you that they don't notice when you sneak away behind the bleachers for the occasional midday smoke

>As you take your first drag you try not to think about how good it feels to regularly light up again now that the season is over and you don't have to worry about conditioning

>As you relax and lean against the bleachers struts you can't help but think about how peaceful it is right now

>"Heeeeeeey Nonny! What are you doing out here!?"

>You just had to fucking Jinx it didn't you

2

>Pinkie fucking Pie

>Or as most people like to refer to her when you're around "Your Childhood Friend"

>That wasn't entirely true

>She was more like a "Childhood Acquaintance" or "Long time friend of a friend of the family" or depending on the time of day "Persistent Annoyance"

>It was a bit of a forgone conclusion that you two would get to know each other since the day you first moved next door to Sugar Cube Corner as a kid

>Especially since your parents were always willing to volunteer you to help the Cakes around the shop when they needed it

>Still Pinkie wasn't so bad, and despite how annoying her hyperness could be in hindsight you were glad you at least had a friend your age around when you first moved here

>But then again you think back to all the times your parents let her just waltz into the house and bug you while you were trying to play games or all the times she dragged you to one of her random parties against your will to realize she's probably a large reason why you have a half a pack day habit these days

>Still it was too early for Pinkies brand of upbeat sugary energy, especially when you barely had enough nicotine

>You sigh, "Hey Pinkie."

3

>Your words have barely left your mouth before she crushes you in one of her hugs

>Like always she holds it for a few seconds too long making you painfully aware of her of what is currently pressing into your chest

>Cue your familiar enemy The Conflicted Boner

>Puberty really had made dealing with Pinkie so much more awkward over time

>While Pinkie didn't exactly come out looking like one of that Rarity chick's fashion models her sugary diet had gone to all the right places

>This combined with her overactive tendency for physical contact made things really awkward these last few years

>Luckily she pulls away before you have to worry about pulling onto Kenny Loggins' favorite highway

>Unluckily she finally notices what exactly you're doing out here

>"Anon you're smoking again!?" she gasps

>You roll your eyes

"Pinkie I never stopped, I just cut down for football"

>Pinkie just puts her hands on her hips and gives you her best disapproving stare. "You know that's soooooo super bad for you right?"

>so is dealing with you you think to yourself as you take another drag

"So you've told me, many, many times before." You groan. It really is too early for this shit. "So what did you want any way Pinks?" You ask cursing yourself for absentmindedly using your old nickname for her

4

>Luckily this seems to pull Pinkie out of whatever lecture she was planning for you

>"Oh riiiiight, I totally forgot. I came here to make sure you're coming to my slumber party tomorrow night."

>Que?

"Pinkie I literally have no idea what you're talking about." you deadpan

>"Well duh silly, that's because I haven't told you about it yet." She says like it is the most obvious thing in the world.

>You suppress the aneurysm forming in your brain from trying to understand Pinkie's thought process and just decide to move on with conversation.

"Okay, better question. Why do you want me to come to one of your slumber parties?" you ask hoping you can get even the slightest bit of clarity

>"Because you're my bestest friend of course." She says cheerily

"Uh-huh, and what's the real reason?" You ask knowing that while it may be partially true there's got to be more to this

>There always is with Pinkie

>"What do you mean, that's totally the only reason Nonny." Wait for it. "But..."

>There it is

>"I do still need two people to even out the numbers." She admits with a chuckle. "You see Sunset has to work that night and can't get off."

>That actually does make you feel better, you don't really have anything against her, but when it comes to her you try to take your Ole Grandpappy Moot's advice of "Son, never go mess'n with girls who go fucking around with crazy magic and turn into demons or girls who wear leather jackets."

>Since ole' Bacon hair was batting two for two on those counts you figured it was best to just leave her be

>"And then Twilight is busy too so I figured I'd invite you since you never really go out and do stuff on the weekend." Pinkie went on.

>She wasn't wrong, but still that didn't mean you actually wanted to go to the slumber party, at least not without grilling Pinkie about a few more things.

5

"Okay, well will there at least be booze there?" You ask.

>"Of course not silly, it's not that kind of party."

>Strike One

"Will I be able to smoke there?"

>Pinkie just glares at you angrily pretty much answering the question for you

>Strike Two

"Will there be pizza?"

>Pinkie lights back up at this. "Nonny, what kind of slumber party would it be without pizza?"

>She did have a point, and you were a slut for some Pizza

>Still that wasn't really enough for you to wanna agree to whatever crazy plans Pinkie had in mind.

"Sorry Pinkie but one out of three isn't really enough for me, I think I'll sit this one out." You say trying to let Pinkie down while still being firm with her

>"But Nonnnnnnny, what am I supposed to tell all the girls if you don't come?" She whines grabbing onto your arm

>Wait, girls?

"Pinkie...exactly who all have you invited to this slumber party?"

>"Oh, just the usual, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbowdash, and Rarity." She once again says like it is something any idiot would know.

You pause for another quick drag before turning back to her, "Pinkie?"

>"Yeah Anon?"

"Am I the only guy you invited to this thing?"

>"Well yeah."

"And did it ever occur to you that it might be weird to have a guy at an otherwise all girl slumber party?"

>She blinks at you a few times with a confused look as she registers your question, "Psssht, ha! Oh C'mon Anon, what would be weird about inviting you over?"

>YFW

6

>Okay, this just went from a bad idea to a social trainwreck waiting to happen

>You barely even knew Pinkie's friends that well

>Sure you occasionally chatted up AppleJack a few times when she was waiting around for a ride from Big Mac after practice

>But the rest, well Rarity was way to hot and popular to have ever spoken to you, you always figured Fluttershy was so shy that if you said the wrong thing she might have a heart attack

>And then there was Rainbow Dash, self-elected enemy number one of the football team

>Always wanting to start something because she was pissed the football team got field priority over the soccer team, fucking uppity grass fairies

>But yeah, this slumber party was an accident waiting to happen.

"Sorry, but I don't think I'm gonna be able to...."

>"But Anon, I even invited your second bestest friend just so that you wouldn't feel uncomfortable. And she said yes." Pinkie pleaded tugging on your arm harder and unknowingly rubbing her tits up and down it

>Damn that felt nice

>Wait! Damnit Anon pay attention! Second best friend? Who the hell could she mean?

>Norman? Nah, he was still in the hospital for trying to go full harem route with the Dazzlings of all people

>Bulk Biceps? Nah, he had his basket weaving class with his Grandma on Saturday nights.

>Then who....wait

>She said "...SHE said yes."

>No

"You didn't..."

>Pinkie just smiled, "Of course I did." Some how without trying to be she gave off an aura of smug that pissed you off.

>Sonuvabitch

7

>Lunchtime

"Trixie what in the actual Hell were you thinking?" You almost yell as you find her at your usual table

>She just stares up at you not pausing from munching on her peanut-butter crackers

>"You're going to have to be more specific if you expect an answer from the Fabulous Trixie." She says indifferent to your impotent rage

"Then allow me to fucking elaborate. Why did you, The great and powerful Trixie, agree to go to Pinkie's fucking sleep over? Does that ring any bells?"

>"Oh that?" She says like it was no big deal. "Well while the Great Trixie's schedule is usually packed full of important events I could hardly turn down an invitation to share myself with my adoring fans." She said crossing her arms and smiling smugly. "...plus she said you'd be there" she added quietly.

>You pinch the bridge of your nose.

>Fucking Trixie speak.

> Translation: I'm so socially awkward that no one besides you ever invites me places so of course I said yes when she asked. Also she said you'd be there so I'm not afraid to go.

> And this is why you always tell people Pinkie is secretly devious

>Now if you don't go Trixie will get super nervous at the party and probably either sit there and not talk to anyone all night or spurge out and make a fool of herself

>What fresh Hell have you been pulled into

8

>Now despite what you said earlier, Pinkie pretty much was your oldest friend.

>Even if she did really annoy the piss out of you most of the time

>But if you were going by that same metric then that meant Trixie was your second oldest friend and that had to count for something

>You met in middle school

>A pair of cringe-worthy 11 year old social nobodies who didn't really fit in with the other groups

>So you got to know each other and hung out and aside from having to deal with her weird coping mechanism of acting all high and mighty and referring to herself in the damn third person you found out she was actually pretty chill

>You ended up getting her into a lot of the things you like Anime and comics and she got you into fantasy novels and JRPGs

>Still even though she'd gotten better at dealing with people since you had met that didn't mean she stopped being socially awkward

>Despite being more of a social malcontent yourself you'd occasionally find yourself going to parties or events you never would be caught dead at just so that way you could take her and try and help draw her out of her shell

>You could already tell from the look in her eyes she was secretly super excited for this whole damn mess already

>Pinkie had you on the hook before you even saw the worm with this one

>Cue mental image of Pinkieallaccordingtokeikaku.jpg

>Translator note: Keikaku means plan

9

>You chomp on your apple and begin running scenarios on just how many ways this shit could go sideways on you like the paranoid fuck you are when a familiar voice calls your name

>"Yo Anon, ready for your big sleep over tomorrow?"

>You don't even bother to lift your head off the table as you turn to glare up at your teammate and buddy Flash Sentry

>Run program is Isdisniggaseriousglare.exe

"Seriously how many of you guys did Pinkie tell about this shit before me?" you ask as Flash takes the seat next to you.

>"Well actually I heard about it from Twilight." Flash explains. "But what's with you going all resting bitch face on me dude?"

>"It's because for some reason Pinkie didn't invite any other guys to the slumber party." Trixie explains a little haughtily, she was still not used to Flash occasionally hanging out with you guys at school

>Really though you probably wouldn't have believed it to if someone had told you that the teams Star Quaterback would like slumming it with the teams 3rd string Fullback of all people

>But that was before you'd found out the school's most popular dude was actually a giant closeted nerd and just like Trixie you'd been slowly getting him hooked on a bunch of your favorite nerdy shit

>Flash finished taking a bite of his overly greasy cafeteria burger and looked at the two of like you were speaking French or something.

>"You guys say that like it's a bad thing."

>Pic very much related

10

"If you say something that stupid again I swear I won't hook you up with anymore Kamen Rider series ever again." You threaten your unwitting popular amigo

>"Whoa, whoa, whoa, take it easier there man." Flash quickly tries to plead. "You can't just go cutting me off like that. I only just finished the last episode of Wizard this morning."

"You poor unfortunate soul" You laugh, thankfully now at least distracted from the looming shitstorm.

>"Man seriously though, what was that ending?" Flash complains

"Hey I warned you, Wizard starts out really good then becomes super meh by the end." You lecture your naive friend, you never would have guessed Flash would have loved Tokusatsu stuff, but you weren't gonna pass up the chance to have someone else in this damn school to talk Kamen Rider with

>"No kidding, are the movies at least good?" He asks returning to his burger

"Ha!" Okay, now you were actually enjoying his stupid question.

>"Man whatever." He says handing you his usual orange flash drive. "Is the next series at least better?"

>That's when you realize you're going to be getting flash started on Gaim soon, oh now this is gonna be fun.

11

"Gaim isn't your usual Kamen Rider series." You say trying not to let your grin get too wide.

>"Trixie still can't believe you two actually like that stuff." Trixie pipes up, both because she never really ever tried the beautiful joys of Kamen Rider for herself, but more importantly because you and Flash were ignoring her

"Well the series I'm about to start Flash on was actually written by the same writer and director of a certain Great and Powerful someone's favorite anime" You say smugly

>The look on Trixie's face is priceless

>"You don't mean it's..."

"Yup." You grin. "Gaim is a Butcher show."

>As you watch Trixie's conflicted expression you secretly congratulate yourself on getting her hooked Madoka and by extension pretty much every Urobuchi anime ever

>"Should I be worried about this whole Butcher thing?" Flash chimes in getting the two of you to slowly turn towards him with twin looks pure smug.

>"Not at all, in fact Trixie thinks she may want to give this particular Kamen Rider a try." She says in a tone that warmly hides the emotional pain Flash is soon to endure

>Wait, now that you've had a minute to clear your head you get an idea

>It may just be crazy enough to work and save you from whatever awkwardness is bound to fall into your lap at Pinkie Slumber party

"Say Flash." You say trying to sound as smooth as possible. "How would you like to borrow my entire external hard drive for a month? You know, the one with almost a terabyte of Kamen Rider series and movies on it?"

>Flash's eyes go wide at the offer. "Fuck yeah I would?" Then it hits him. "Wait...what's the catch?"

"Oh nothing much." You say nonchalantly. "Just come with us to Pinkie's slumber party tomorrow night."

>Pinkie wasn't the only one who could be devious after all

12

>Okay, to his credit, you've never seen Flash look this conflicted before

>After several seconds he lets out a sigh, "Wish I could man, but I have a date with Twilight that night."

>FUUUUUUUUU--wait what?

"Wait wait wait." You say throwing up your hands in confusion. "Which Twilight?"

>Flash just blushed at this "...y'know man, new Twilight." he mumbles out

"Okay, dude you know I've got your back and everything, but man your love life is fucked up." You try and fail to sound as reassuring as you had planned to in your head

>Flash just glares at you, "This coming from the guy who is afraid to go to a slumber party with some of the hottest girl's in school."

"Okay 1). I can almost gaurentee this sleep over isn't gonna go the way you think it will. And 2). Nigga you have got no room to talk, you fell in love with a girl who literally came here from a dimension of magical talking horses that you only even hung with a couple times and now you're trying to also get this dimension's version of her even though you two have barely even talked." You explain

>"We've talked a few times." Flash tries to defend.

"Congrats, that doesn't stop this from being some weird confusing fucked up Red Dwarf, Dave Lister shit right here."

>The two of you are silent for a few seconds, that is until Trixie decides to chime in

>"He's not wrong you know."

>There's another brief pause before the two of you burst out laughing

>"Yeah, I guess he isn't." Flash chuckles as the last of your laughter calms down. "But yeah man, sorry, you're on your own on this?"

>"Hey, what about Trixie?! I'll be there too." Trixie insists.

>Wait, you just got another idea.

"Hey Trix, you still got that fake ID you bought of Flim and Flam?"

>"Yeah, but why do you...wait you aren't thinking..."

>You bet your ass you were

13

>You figure if you can't get Flash to come along with you, why not rely on a different friend to get you through this

"Trixie I want you to take this," You say fishing out your wallet and pulling out most of your cash. "And on your way to the party pick us up some vodka. If they've got handles on sale that'd be great, if not we can probably stretch out a fifth if we have to." You explain as she takes your money

>"Not that Trixie is complaining, but what exactly are you planning?" She asks with a bit of a smirk

"Way I figure it this whole thing could go one of two ways. If the party actually goes okay, no weird or awkward shit, just Pinkie and her friends hanging out with us then great. Then we just save the booze and hang out at Trixie's the next day getting wasted watching anime."

>"Trixie is very much in favor of that plan." Trixie said with a faint blush.

"I bet you do. But say I'm not being paranoid and things really do start getting weird, then we've got something to even out the playing field in our favor." You explain.

>"That might actually work." Flash says. "That is if Pinkie doesn't kill you for bringing that." He laughs.

"You're half right Flash. Pinkie did oh so subtly hint that she didn't want me bringing my usual party survival goods." You say grinning slyly "But Trixie, did Pinkie say you couldn't bring anything like Booze to the party?"

>As she starts to understand your line of thought Trixie slowly gets a grin almost as Devious as yours. "No Anon, no she did not."

>Okay, you were starting to feel good about this party now

14

>Be Pinkie Pie

>You're at lunch with all your friends

>And you just can't wait for tomorrow night

>"I can't believe you actually convinced him to come." Sunset says in disbelief. "Now I wish I wasn't stuck at work that night." She chuckles

>You don't know why all your friends thought you'd never get Nonny to agree to coming over

>Sure sometimes he could be a real Grumpy Gus, but deep down he was really just a big old teddy bear

>Plus you already knew secretly he could never really say no to you

>You giggle at the thought

>"I still don't see why we have to invite a lousy football player to the party, even if he is like your best friend." Rainbow Dash huffed.

>"Aw give it a rest Dash." Applejack cuts in thankfully cutting off what was probably bound to be yet another rant about how the football team were all assholes. "But are you really sure about inviting Anon to all of this?"

>Why wouldn't you be sure about inviting Nonny

>"I mean I've talked with him a couple'a times waiting for Big Mac after practice and he never really struck me as...." She paused trying to pick her words. "The sociable type."

>"Oh don't be silly, Nonny's great at making friends." You reassure. "He's just too shy and lazy to try, that's why I wanted to invite him."

>Yup, totally the only reason, no ulterior motive whatsoever....was it getting hot in here

>"Then why invite Trixie, aren't they already good friends?" Twilight asked. "Didn't she like trap all of you underneath a stage or something once? Or am I not remembering the story correctly?"

>"N-no, that actually did happen." Fluttershy chimes in meekly.

15

>"Oh c'mon, that was all because of evil magic." At least you think it was. "Plus Trixie's not so bad once you get to know her."

>That actually was true

>She just really didn't like you

>But she did accept your invite so that was a good sign right

>right?

>"Well I'm sure we'll all have a lovely time." Rarity said confidently while flipping her hair over her shoulder. "And while I don't personally know Anon, his teammates do speak rather kindly of him so I'm sure he's charming..." She glances over toward's Anon's table where the boy in question is currently doing a strange pantomime that involves craning his head towards the ceiling, making a strange face, and rubbing his nipples through his shirt while Flash Sentry and Trixie laugh raucously, "....in his own unique way of course."

>See this was totally gonna work out just fine

16

>End of the day

>Be Anon

>And aside from that weird moment where you felt like you had an out of body experience during lunch things had been pretty uneventful

>All that was left to do was to head home and kill time and try to prepare for tomorrow night

>You stop by your locker to drop off all the crap you won't need for the weekend

>While you're busy dicking around in your locker you hear a super hard thud as something heavy sounding collided with the locker next to you

>Now every bone in your body knows that closing your locker door and addressing whatever is on the other side is a terrible idea

>But hey, you always were a gamble'n man

>You shut your locker and turn to find Big Mac standing there looming over you leaning on the wall of lockers

"Oh sup Big Mac, didn't see you there."

>You actually really liked Big Mac, one of the cooler guys from the team, The giant Center was one of the few guys on the team who didn't mind when you would run your mouth between drills

>Or if he did he still hadn't said anything

>Truly a man of few words

>"Anon." He says simply but something about his ton doesn't sound right, it sounded a bit threatening

"So uh, there anything I can um help you with?" You ask feeling all of sudden very compelled at the moment to run away and scream like a girl

>"E'yup"

>There's an awkward pause as Big mac just stands their staring down at you

>After a while you just can't take it anymore

"So uh....you gonna tell me what this about?"

>Big Mac makes a grunting sound before he says "I hear you're going to be spending tomorrow night at Pinkie's sleep over...." He says gruffly

>Fucking really, did she tell everyone in this damn school but you

>"...with my sister." He finishes

>Ooooooh

>Now this all makes sense

17

>Now in hindsight what you did next was pretty stupid

>No actually it incredibly fucking retarded

>But despite what every smart voice in your head and a few in other concerned parts of your body screamed at you not to do you still couldn't help yourself

>You laughed

>You laughed like a silly bitch

>You laughed almost as hard as that time Gummie got into Pinkies underwear drawer and then ran around the house covered in half her panties

>Unfortunately Big Mac failed to see the same humor in the situation as you did

>"Something funny Anon?" Okay, that crossed from his threatening voice to his pissed voice

>Shit has just gotten real

>You remember what happened to the last guy who pissed Big Mac off

>Running Damagecontrol.exe

"Whoa man, easy. I get where you're coming from. I do, but it's not that kind of slumber party." You say quickly even though there's still a bit of laughter in your voice. "And even if it was, which remember it isn't, do you really think your sister, Applejack, who actually knows me I might add, would want any part of this business?"

>You make a sweeping gesture to yourself

>That's right Big Mac, take a moment to drink in the sad reality on display here

>Big Mac looks like he's actually thinking about what you just said

>That's good, maybe your ass will go unbeaten after all

>"Not my place to judge, but let's just say y'all best remember to be a gentleman tomorrow." He says no longer sounding pissed, but firm

"Hey man, you know me, when have I ever not been a gentleman?"

>"Then I suggest you keep it up." And with that Big Mac walked off

>Okay, you'd just stopped worrying about this damn party but apparently that was a dumb idea

>Time to get out of dodge before some new shit kicks up

>You grab your shit and head for the door

>You really need that smoke right about now

18

>You step outside and light up faster than napalm in open air

>Breath in the smoke and let it take care of the nerves so you can focus on all the facts as you re-analyze the whole situation

>But first some tunes

>You pull out your phone and plug in your ear buds

>This comes on

> [YouTube] Bad Moon Rising (embed)

>Well so much for music

>You pull out your ear buds and take a long drag from your cigarette

>Okay, back to the fact, besides being basically forced by your two best friends into attending a slumber party you also have to worry about...

>making a fool of yourself in front of Pinkies friends

>Who comprise some of the hottest and most coveted babery in all of CHS

>Trixie making a fool of herself and getting super depressed because of it

>Sneaking booze into said party even though you know you probably really shouldn't

>You pause for a second on that last point

>Nah, you have a feeling that more than once you're going to need a stiff drink to get through this whole thing so it's no longer part of the 'cons' list

>But then you come back to the newest point on what you're dubbing the Dafuq List

>The Applejack situation

>What was that all about

>Like for real

>She's easily a solid 8, maybe higher depending on shit like her personality or lewdness

>But you've only talked to her maybe like 4 or 5 times ever

>You get the whole over protective brother thing, but c'mon, you thought you and the big guy were tight

>Plus you're you, and he knows that, hell after the cheerleader incident everyone on the team knew you were garbage with the ladies

>So why make a big deal about Applejack

>Were you missing something here

>Did Applejack have like a crush or something on you

>....

>Okay, you may be paranoid but now you just sound crazy

>Before you realize it you're already a block from home and on what you're guessing is your second cigarette

>Great, guess you put all this shit on hold at least til you get to your room

19

>You check the cigarette you lit up while on auto-pilot

>Smoked a little less than half

>But you can already see Sugar Cube Corner coming up

>Last thing you need is your folks catching you with this so with a heavy heart you stub out the cherry against the sole of your boot and flick the butt into the street

>As you get closer to home you see Mr.Cake standing out front with a tray of cupcakes

>"Hey Anon, want a sample? The Missus just pulled these out of the oven a few minutes ago."

>You always liked Mr.Cake, a really cool dude even if he did have a penchant for encouraging Pinkie to annoy you or just drag you into the shop to help out

"Sure Mr.C." You smile grabbing a cupcake at random from the tray and taking a bite.

>"So you ready for your big sleep over with Pinkie tomorrow night?" he asks almost making you spit out your half chewed cupcake.

"Seriously, did Pinkie send out a fucking newsletter about this shit to everyone before she told me?" You just about shout

>"Hey son, watch the language in front of the store." Mr.Cake chides while chuckling at you. "Plus can you blame her, you know how she is when she gets excited."

>There it goes again

>Now you couldn't really blame the Cakes for dotting on Pinkie, until they were lucky enough enough to actually have kids of her own she'd been like the daughter they'd never had

>Which was sweet, except it meant you basically lived next door to and sometimes worked for Pinkie's biggest fans

>So in short you weren't gonna find any solace from this crazy shitshow in Mr.C besides the cupcake in your hand

>So you excused yourself and head a couple more feet down the sidewalk to your house

>Might as well tell mom about what's going on

>Fun times

20

>You walk in the door and announce your presence shortly finding your mom sitting on the sofa

>"Hey Anon, how was school?"

"Same old same old." Not really a lie, aside from the sleepover shit it was a normal day. "Also just so you know I got roped into going to some sleepover at Pinkie's tomorrow night. So there's that."

>"Oh, do want me to pick up some snacks for you guys when I go to the store tomorrow?"

>Really mom?

>Really!?

>Snacks!?

>Anyone else I hang with I have to deal with the third degree and sign three release forms to prove I won't start a revolution to overthrow the government

>But hanging with Pinkie and you don't even blink

>Hell you didn't even ask me if her parents would be home

>Hell, I don't even know if her parents will be home

> You can't actually decide if it would be a good or bad thing if Mr. and Mrs.Pie would be there for this thing

>Questions for later

"Nah, I'll probably just grab that case of orange soda from the back to take with me and a couple bucks for pizza." You say as you head for the stairs

>"Okay, I'll leave some money on the counter tomorrow."

>And with that you head to your room, your one and only bastion of sanity

>Or at least it will be in a second as you step through door, toss down your backpack and grab your sign off the tv stand

>You hang the sign in it's usual place on the stud you nailed into your door when you realize notebook paper signs and masking tape were no longer viable

>The sign read: Please Do Not Disturb

>And under that in larger bolder letters it read: Pinkie This Means You!

>And below that in slighter smaller print (because you started running out of room): Yes I Do Mean It, Stay Out

>Luckily Pinkie either respected your privacy or the looney toones nature of the joke enough to heed the sign these days

>Most of the time at least

>It's a miracle from God that she still hadn't managed to walk in on you fapping

>Though not for lack of trying you think from time to time

21

>So now that you're alone it's time to prepare for everything that could possibly go wrong at this party

>Or at least that was the plan

>After about an hour of coming up with a hundred pointless scenarios you become so sick of your own paranoia that you almost welcome the sweet embrace of death

>So you busy yourself with a mixture of vidya, comics, internet videos, and shit posting on 4chan

>And most importantly fapping

>Over the next day and a half you make your you to slake your boner's need for attention

>You know he can't be trusted for he is the only entity more devious than Pinkie in this scenario

>He has the potential to be your one true enemy

>Finally at about 6:30 Saturday night you get a text from Trixie

>She's heading over to Pinkies

>The hour of judgment is upon you

>You pull a simple t-shirt and jeans on over your usual sleeping clothes, a sleeveless shirt and pair of athletic short

>Then you gather up a few odds and ends you might need, toothbrush and toothpaste, some random DVD's and your external hard drive and shove them into your backpack

>Down stairs you find the case of soda and the money for pizza and gather them up and head out the door

>It's only a 20 minute walk from your house to Pinkie's

>You pull out your headphones and pull up just the song you need

[YouTube] WWE: "Worlds Apart" ? Sami Zayn 3rd Theme Song (embed)

>You begin your march

22

>You kill the music once you reach Pinkie's driveway

>No old rusted out pickup truck sitting there

>Well that means at least Mr.Pie is currently M.IA.

>No clue on the Missus

>And still no idea if them being here is good or bad either

>Against your better judgement you quickly light up a smoke

>3 or 4 more minutes won't matter right

>You get in a few drags, but for once you're not feeling it

>Feel like this is one of those last request smokes they give deathrow inmates

>You flick it into the street and head for the door

>Might as well get this over with

>Maud answers the door with her pet rock resting in her hand. "Hello Anon."

"Hey Maud, sup Boulder?" You learned a long time ago to just kind of roll with Maud, she was after all the easiest person in the whole Pie family to understand

>Okay scratch that, no she wasn't, but just learned to deal with her weirdness like you did her sister

>"Pinkie and the others are up in her room." Maud said stepping out of the way to let you in.

"Cool, so where's your pops?" You ask as you kick off your boots and scan around to see who was all here

>"Mother and Father went to assist Uncle Obsidian with a barn raising out in the country. They won't be back until sometime Sunday evening. Marble is attending a poetry reading in town and Limestone is in the basement"

>Okay well that sure answered all of your questions

>Leave it to Maud to just lay it all out there

"Okay, well then I guess I'll just head up stairs then." You're just about to go back into auto-pilot to Pinkie's room when Maud gets your attention again

>"Be careful Anon, you're about to enter a world fraught with treachery."

>Okay, even for Maud that one surprised you

>Was she really just gonna drop that ominous shit on you before you head to her sister's room for the night

>And she's just walking away

>Well that just happens

>Either way might as well get going

>You get to Pinkie's door and take a deep breath and then knock

"Hey, is everyone decent in there?"

23

>You get your answer in the form of the door flying open and Pinkie yanking you into the room and into one of her hugs

>"Nonny! You finally made it!" She squeals in delight as she squeezes you close pulling your head right into her chest

>All you see is pink

>It's soft

>It's peaceful

>Is this Heaven?

>When it starts getting hard to breath she finally lets go and you take a step back and take in your surroundings.

>It seems no one was really paying enough attention to notice Pinkie pulling you into an impromptu motor boat

>Except for Trixie, you see her watching you out of the corner of her eye as she plays what looks like Street Fighter with Rainbow Dash over by the tv

>Looks a little miffed, must be actually having to work to beat Dash, but you're glad she was actually able to mingle with the girls a little before you got here

>You see Rarity happily playing with Fluttershy's hair on Pinkie's bed

>And Applejack is over in the corner with....wait is that a bass, nice

>"Okay Nonny, why don't you drop your stuff and get changed so we can get this party started." Pinkie instructs taking the case of soda off your hands.

"Sure, sounds like a plan." You say tossing your bag towards an unoccupied spot on the floor before pulling your t-shirt over your head.

>As you get your belt off and unzip your pants your hear a gasp. You pause and look up and notice all eyes in the room are on you at the moment.

>Well all except Rainbow's, she was too busy taking the opportunity to beat Trixie while she was distracted.

>"Yeah! First win of the night!" She cheered until she noticed the stunned silence and turned to see what was going on.

>Now all eyes were on you

>"Anon what the fuck man?!"

24

>You feel like a deer in the headlights

>You don't know what's going on

>All you were doing was changing your...

>Oh

>Ooooooh

>You realize that you just walked into a room full of girls

>Most of which were basically strangers to you

>And what was the first thing you did

>Throw off your fucking shirt and start dropping your pants

>Great, just fucking great

"Whoa now, this isn't what it looks like." You quickly try to explain. "Had my sleep'n clothes on underneath. Nothing scandalous here, just workout shorts." You say pulling your pants down just enough to show them you're not lying.

>This seems to put Fluttershy and Rarity at ease, Rainbow just mutters something and goes back to the game, and Applejack just chuckles.

>"Reckon you been spending too much time in the locker room. Starting to forget your manners." She teases.

>You roll your eyes and finish taking off your pants and kicking them towards your bag

"Hey you've never been in there, compared to most of them I'm the picture etiquette." You joke deciding to head over towards AJ while Pinkie moves to cheer on Dash and Trixie on at street fighter. "That's a real nice bass you got there by the way."

>This catches her off guard

>"Well I'll be, I think you're the first person to ever not mistake this here girl as a guitar."

"Well I used to play, so I know a thing or two about them." You chuckle

>"No kidd'n, you any good?"

"Ha, nah I was never that good to start with." You admit

>"That's not true!" Pinkie chimes in. "You used to be really good."

>That's not true at all

>Pinkie what are you doing.

>"Well you never even told Trixie you played an instrument before." Trix says pausing her game. "She demands a demonstration."

>Et tu Trixie

>"Oh, I think it would be marvelous if you played for us." Rarity adds with a look of excitement

>Dash just smirks. "Heh, this ought to be good."

>Fuck

25

>You really don't want to do this

>You were a crap bassist when you actually played

>You haven't even touched your own bass back home in years

>You turn to Applejack for some kind of support but she's already taken off her strap and handing you the bass

>Her grin says she wants to see what you've got

>Double Fuck

>As you look at the room you can tell everyone is waiting on you, even Fluttershy looks excited

"Fine." You sigh slipping the strap over your shoulder. "Hey Pinkie, you still got my old backup amp lying around?" You ask hoping against hope she sold it or something so you have no way to play

>"Of course I do!" She squeals happily running into her closet and coming back out with your old amp.

>Why did she even keep that damn thing, she played drums for fuck sake

>You sigh again plugging everything in and testing the strings

>All systems are go for making you look like a tool

>Luckily even after all these years there's still one song you can play in your sleep

>You grab your phone and set it on top of the amp then select the song

>You listen for the lead in

>Here goes nothing

>[YouTube] Free - Walk In My Shadow (embed)

>You focus only on the beat and keeping pace

>May have been years but your fingers still remember the riff

>You feel like you just did a load of speed with how fast your heart is beating, almost matching the speed of the song

>You hate playing for people

>Finally the song ends and you let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding

>To your surprise the girls clap

>Well most of them do

>Pinkie and Trixie are actually cheering

>"Not too bad Anon." Applejack says giving you a thumbs up

>You actually feel kind of good about yourself

>Then Dash has to weigh in

26

>"Oh c'mon guys, that wasn't anything special." She said once Pinkie and Trixie had stopped cheering. "I mean seriously, he just played the same riff on three different chords and did a turn-around."

>She wasn't wrong

>That is pretty much all there is to the bass line for that song

>It's why you can still play it just about anytime ever without practicing

>And honestly you had no problem admitting any of that

>But you really didn't like just how she said that

>In fact it kind of pissed you off

"That's because it's blues music Dash." You point out with a tad more snark than was really needed. "It's not about being complex or fast, it's about being smooth."

>Dash just crosses her arms and makes a face at you. "Just sounds like an excuse for being a bad bass player to me."

>Fuck this bitch

"Okay Rainbow, I've got one more song in me just for you."

>Why did you just say that

>Rainbowdash just smirks. "Then go ahead and play."

>This is a bad idea, why are you doing this

>No, no, no don't grab your phone

"Trixie!" Why are getting her involved in this, "Title track of their first post-Ozzy album." You say tossing her the phone

>Oh no, not that song, you could barely play that song when you actually practiced

>Please Trixie don't listen

>Oh shit she's smiling

>Pinkie looks like she's about to explode from excitement

>The others look either interested or terrified

>Why, why must you do this

>Trixie is giving you the signal as she presses play

>There's nothing you can do now

> [YouTube] Heaven And Hell (embed

27

>You have no idea why you are even doing this

>But you move past that now

>You move past everything now

>You don't think about Dash, or Pinkie, or Trixie, or any of the others

>You are blocking all of that out right now

>You don't even look up

>All your focus is on your fingers, the bass in your hands, and Black FUCKING Sabbath

>Your fingers strain as you force out every ounce of your muscle memory in real time

>You can feel your right index and middle finger start to cramp from lack of use but power through it

>Finally it ends

>You strum the last note

>You're out of breath, your fingers are screaming every expletive under the son at you, and you feel a slight bit of sweat starting to form on your forehead

>You look up and now everyone is really clapping

>Hell Pinkie is losing her mind and Trixie is throwing up the devil horns like you were Geezer Butler himself

>And most importantly Dash has lost her smirk

"So." You say more out of breath than you really want to admit. "How was that?"

>It physically hurts you not to add bitch to the end of that sentence

>But you feel even she can pick up the subtext

>"Yeah, okay. Even I have to say that was actually pretty awesome."

>That's right, choke on it grass fairy

>"You even managed to make a crappy Dio song sound good." She chuckles

>And that was literally the straw that broke the camel’s back

28

>That didn't just happen

>She did NOT just say what you think she did

>But then again you remember who you're talking about

>Rainbow FUCKING Dash

>High Royal Bitch of the Punkass kingdom of Socceria and enemy to all who inhabit the great and beautiful land of Footballtopia

>And worst of all you can see it on her face that she has no idea what she has done

>The SACRED name that she has slandered

>In fact none of the others realize it

>Except for Pinkie and Trixie

>They've known you for far too long not to know that Rainbow Dash just jumped on a landmine like it was a trampoline

>The only thing stopping you from going mental right now is the fact you would probably ruin the party for the both of them

>And they're your friends so you actually care if you do that

>Still, you can feel your inner spurgelord screaming for vengeance in your ear

>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>So you decide to meet somewhere in the middle

>You raise a finger and point it at Rainbow dash so hard you almost think lightning will shoot from the end while your eyes bulge with autistic fury

"BOO THIS GIRL!" You cry. "BOO HER NOW!" You demand praying your small captive audience is still on your side

>Luckily there are two here that will always back you up

>Somewhere deep down in the cockles of your cold heart you feel a slight warm and almost fuzzy feeling as you watch Pinkie cheerfully start loudly booing her friend quickly followed by Trixie who even starts snatching the random pillows off the floor and tossing them at Dash as she joins in the booing

>Slowly the rest join in the fun

>Even Flutter shy musters a few quiet boos

>"Hey, cut it out, seriously, what did I do?" Dash pleads as she tries to dodge or block the pillows flying at her.

"You slandered the name of a god." you say feeling incredibly vindicated

29

>You were about to go into full rant mode to properly educate Dash about the folly of what'd said

>But then the door bell rang drawing everyone's attention

>"Oooooh, pizza's here!" Pinkie cheers heading down to meet the delivery guy

>Everyone calms down while you wait for her to get back

>Now that she's no longer dodging pillows Dash sends you and angry glare

>There's a very slight hint of blush on her cheeks too

>Suddenly everything feels so worth it

>You unplug AppleJack's bass and hand it back to her

"Thanks for the loan. That was more fun than I thought." You admit as Applejack gets up and takes the bass from you.

>"I'll say, you know if you ever wanna get together some time and play just let me know." She says with a grin as moves to put it back in its case

"I may just take you up on that, just not anytime soon." You say with a nervous laugh holding up your badly cramping strumming fingers.

>"Still that was a lovely performance darling." Rarity said giving you a smile that would have made a good chunk of the team jealous

>"Yes it was." Flutthershy added shyly. "I, um, really liked the first song."

>Wow, you guess chicks really do dig musicians

>Now you really wish you had practiced more

>"Okie Dokie guys!" Pinkie announces kicking her door open. "It's pizza time!" She cheers hopping in the room with 4 large pizza's stacked in her arms.

>As the other move to help Pinkie with the Pizzas you plop down on and empty spot on the floor where Trixie soon joins you

>"You know now that Trixie knows you play she is going to want a private show sometime." She teases

"Oh sure, got any requests?" You say sarcastically as you roll your eyes.

>She just grins really wide. "Well I was thinking Neon Knights for starters."

"Oh sure I can learn that." You say jokingly. "But only if you agree to do vocals."

>You see her suddenly become very embarrassed and laugh.

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

30

>Everything has calmed down now that the pizza is here

>Everyone is scattered around the room sitting close to their pizza of choice

>except for Pinkie

>She was hopping around between everyone making conversation and just being a good host

>She just came to join you and Trixie after doing her best to console Dash's wounded ego and steal a slice of her Ham and Pineapple pizza

>After a few minutes Rarity decided to speak up

>"So Anon, why don't you tell us a little about yourself." She said leaning forward with her eyes on you.

>You try to make sure you keep your focus on her eyes and not the cleavage her night gown is showing off as she does that

"Not really much to tell." You say between bites of your pizza. "What do you wanna know?" You say deciding to be a little friendly

>"Well I know I for one am a little curious about why you decided to join the football team." She says simply. "That is if you don't mind my asking of course."

>You actually wouldn't mind much of anything Rarity had in asked you

>But of course she had to ask that question

>You knew eventually one of them was going to ask

>Pretty much everyone but Pinkie, Trixie, and all the guys on the team ask you about it at some point.

"Well that depends." You say with a sigh. "Do you want to hear the short and embarrassing version or the long and embarrassing version."

>"The long one." Rainbow Dash says narrowing her eyes at you from across the room

>What's that you taste on the wind

>Oh right, it's all the salt radiating from Dash

>You can tell she is looking for something she can use to get you back for earlier

>Still she in for disappointment

>You have nothing to hide

"Well awhile back this old buddy of mine from before I moved to town hit me up, he's a super big weeb and is always sending me these new manga series he finds to read. One of them was a football manga and I fell in love with it." You start to explain already feeling the cringe as you hear Trixie stifle a giggle next to you

31

"It was so cool and exciting and the more I read it, the more I wanted to play. I mean until then I'd never really cared about sports but I'd always been kinda fast and nimble so I thought I'd give it a shot." You continue as the others listen intently.

>"Must'a been real hard when you first started." Applejack chimed in.

"Oh you have no idea." You laugh. "My first summer training camp was literally Hell. And I stood out from the rest of the guys like a sore thumb. Shit, back then most of the guys were taking bets on how long it would take for me to quit."

>"That's just awful." Fluttershy squeaked.

>"Absolutely horrid." Rarity added.

"Nah, it's cool. Like I said back then I was just some nerd showing up to practice trying to keep up with all these guys who'd been playing football for most of their lives. I don't blame them for making some jokes." You try to reassure. "Plus shit like that is great motivation, makes you want to prove them wrong and tough it out. Not like I needed it though, as much as a lot of training sucked I loved every minute of it." You pause to take another bite of pizza.

>"Plus it totally helped get Nonny here out of the house and into greeeaaaat shape." Pinkie boasted grabbing your arm and making you flex.

>It was true, but couldn't she have said that a bit differently

>"Oh trust me Pinkie, we can tell." Rarity giggled

>Ego boosted to level 10

>"He isn't that ripped." You heard Dash mutter from her spot across from you

>Again, she wasn't wrong

>You weren't as jacked as guys like Big Mac or Bulk Bicep, but months of conditioning and team weightlifting had given you a decent body

>You didn't have a six pack or anything, but your stomach had some tone and your pecs and arms, especially your biceps and triceps, looked pretty damn good

>So Dash could just stay salty

32

>"Well you certainly seem dedicated." Rarity said coyly. "It's almost a shame I've never seen you play."

>Now that gets a laugh out of you.

"Trust me you guys aren't missing anything there." You manage to get out between laughs. "I may love playing but that doesn't mean I'm any good. I'm lucky I even qualify as a 3rd stringer."

>You aren't surprised to see Dash smirk at that, but you don't care.

>"That's not true." Trixie says smacking you on the arm. "When you do get to play you're great."

>"Yeah Nonny." Pinkie chimes in as well. "What about that one time you caught that pass?"

>Oh lord not this again.

"C'mon guys, it was one lucky catch. It wasn't a big deal. We didn't even win."

>"Wait, ya'll ain't talk'n about that game against Griffon Academy are you?" Applejack asks seeming more interested that before.

>"Yup yup, that was the one." Pinkie confirms happily.

>"Wait, I don't remember our team playing against Griffon Academy." Rarity interrupts sounding confused.

"That's cause it was an away game." You explain. You didn't exactly blame her for not remembering, even at a school as big on school spirit like CHS there weren't a lot of people who went to away games. It was mostly just the team's friends and family.

>"My point is I was at that game. I remember your play." Applejack continued. "I don't know why you're acting like it's no big deal."

>"Okay, that's it." Rainbow finally snaps. "What the hell did he even do."

>Before you can do anything Trixie gets up and moves to the center of the room

>"Okay picture it." Trixie says doing her best to set the stage. "The Wondercolts against the Griffons, we're down by two touchdown in the last minutes of the game. It's third down and the coach subs Anon in at Fullback. Tensions are high, the ball gets hiked and Anon fakes a block on the far right side, but turns around at the last minute wide open and ready for the Quarterback to throw a flare pass."

>Dear lord, this is so embarrassing

33

>"Then the Quarterback throws the ball and Nonny catches it and the crowd goes wild!" Pinkie exclaims leaping to her feet and doing her impression of the cheers. "Then Nonny takes off as fast as he can like *whoosh* and then the first guy comes in and he's all like *grrr*, but Nonny jukes him with a fake and he's all like *pysch! See ya* and keeps on running."

>You can't believe they're doing this

>Even more you can't believe that Rarity, Fluttershy, and Dash are all listening with rapt attention.

>"That's when the next guy comes running in and he's all like *You're not getting past me, I'm gonna get ya*, but Anon just keeps running and spins around him at the last second and the guy is all like *Whaaaa?!* while Nonny just keeps on going." Pinkie tells excitedly stopping for a second to catch her breath.

>"Wh-what happened next?" Fluttershy asked surprising you with how much she seems interested in this whole thing.

>But now you have to weigh in

"Well that's when the Free Safety came down, and he was a big mean bastard and instead of going for a tackle he comes running full speed at me and hits me with a clothesline." You say stunning Rarity and Fluttershy

>Rainbow Dash just burst out laughing

>"Are you serious?" She barely is able to get out as she clutches her sides with laughter.

"Hand to God." You say rolling your eyes at her, "In fact he hit me so hard I did a full 180 around his arm and landed face first on the field."

>At that point Dash absolutely loses it

>"Pul-pul-please tell me there is a vi-video of that." She begs while rolling on the floor

>There isn't thankfully

"To my credit I didn't fumble the ball. After that things got a little crazy, I didn't pick up the first down but the refs ejected the Saftey for unsportsmanlike conduct and we picked up 15 yards off the penalty. While they were checking me out for a concussion the team managed to score another touchdown. They spent the next week calling me Mr. Flips" You say chuckling at the end.

34

>That last bit set everybody off

>Now they're all laughing, not as hard as Dash mind you, but even Fluttershy can't hold in some giggles

>You just sit there and let them have their fun

>Once everybody calms down they settle back into asking you question while eating

>All except Dash

>You can tell she's gotten everything she wanted and expect she'll be using your old nickname for ammo later, but honestly you don't care

>You just answer the other girls' questions

>Tell a few stories from practice

>And before you know it the last of the pizza is gone

"Alright so now what?" You ask turning to Pinkie wondering what she has planned next

>"Oh, oh, oh, now it's time for the fun to really begin." Pinkie says excitedly jumping back up to her feet. "C'mon guys come make a circle." Pinkie says waving for everyone to join the rest of you on the floor.

>In a few second all of you are now sitting in a lopsided circle with Trixie on your right and Pinkie to your left followed by Applejack, Dash across from you, then Rarity and Fluttershy.

>"Alright girls, and Nonny, time for something no slumber party is truly complete without. It's time for....TRUTH OR DARE!"

>"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about!" Dash cheers high fiving Pinkie

>Oh, truth or dare

>Great

>Nothing can go wrong here

>You see Dash shoot you an evil look from across the circle

>Oh yeah, totally a good idea

>You steal a glance at Trix to your right and you can tell she's feeling nervous

>That makes sense, until now she really hasn't done anything that would single herself out in front of the other girls

>But you can tell she's starting to get nervous

"Hey." You whisper to get her attention. "You wanna take a bet on how long it takes for Dash to take a shot at me during this?" You ask hoping to take Trixie's mind off her nervousness.

>A small smirk crosses her face telling you it worked. "It's not really a bet if we both know she's going after you first turn." Trixie chuckles

>Well she did have a point

35

>Since you guys don't have a bottle to spin

>Well at least not one the Pinkie knows about yet anyway

>It's decided that the last person to go picks the next

>The game starts out chill enough

>Fluttershy is forced to admit which of her like 100 pets is her favorite

>Pinkie is dared to sneak downstairs, steal Boulder, and then come back and do an impression of Maud

>Stuff like that

>But then it finally comes to Dash's turn

>She's grinning like mad eyeing you from across the circle

>"Okay Anon, what's it gonna be Truth," She pauses silently challenging you, "Or Dare."

>This is a tricky one

>On the one hand you're fairly confident you can out smart Dash

>On the other you know that she's looking to settle the score from earlier

>So you decide to play it cool

"Truth." You say deciding to feel Rainbow out for this round and see exactly what she's coming at you with

>Dash's smile is sinister. "Okay Anon, then why don't you tell everyone just how often you like to fap." She laughs

>Well that certainly get's everyone's attention.

>"Ah, c'mon now Dash." Applejack chides getting a little flustered

>"Oh my." Rarity gasps.

> Fluttershy just sits there blinking in confusion, "What does fap mean?" She asks turning to Rarity

>Too pure

>On one side of you Trixie is doing her best not to make eye contact with you at all and on the other Pinkie is dead silent and blushing

>A lot

>Like really A LOT

>In fact the only person not fazed by this is you

>Seriously you share a locker room with FOOTBALL PLAYERS

>Some of the most loud, vulgar, and obscene people ever

>You don't even think before answering.

"Bout once maybe twice a day." You say calmly looking Dash dead in the eyes. "Depends on the mood."

>Dash is more than a little taken aback, she was obviously expecting you to squirm or try get out of this, not come right out and answer her

>"W-w-well okay then." She says blushing a little now. "But have you ever fapped to anyone in this room?" She says trying to get back her cool

36

>Okay, now that was something you actually didn't want to answer

>For one even though today is the first time you'd ever even spoken to her there still wasn't a single guy in school who honestly never fapped to Rarity

>Also while you couldn't exactly remember you were pretty sure at some point you had fapped pretty much everyone here in the room

>Even Pinkie and Trixie

>You weren't totally proud of that

>Fucking puberty

>Also everyone seemed to be just as flustered by Dash's question as you

>Well all except Fluttershy, she's still confused about what Fap means

>Pinks and Trix aren't doing much better than the others, Trixie is literally humming nervously as she looks anywhere but at you and Pinkie has discovered a new color of red she is blushing so much and is looking straight ahead with wide eyes

>Still you can't think about that

>You had to get out of this

"Wow, your first question was pretty lame, but that one makes up for it." You say watching as Dash starts to get her confidence back. "It's too bad that makes two Truths, so I don't have to answer it."

>There is a painful silence as Dash loses all her confidence and just stares at you with her mouth hanging open.

>"What?!" She almost screams. "That's not how this works!"

>"Nope, Nonny's right." Pinkie exclaims quickly snapping out of her embarrassment coma, "You can't do two Truths at once, those are the rules!" She says her words almost crashing together with how fast she's talking

>"Y-yeah, that means it's Anon's turn." Trixie speaks up though unable to look at you still

>"Ugh, fine." Dash grumbles angrily.

>Phew, that was close

>"Okay Anon, who you gonna pick?" Applejack says no longer hiding her face with her hat in embarrassment

>Oh, you know exactly what you're going to do

"Okay, Rainbow Dash." You say looking back across the circle at the surprised girl. "Truth?" And you make the creepiest, most sinister, and vindictive smile you can muster, "Or Dare?"

>Pay back is a bitch

37

>Dash is looking nervous

>Good, that's why you're looking at her like this

>Normally she'd pick Dare 10 out of 10 times just so she could brag that she was soooo brave or whatever

>But right now she knows you're looking to get back at her

>Which also works in your favor because even if she doesn't want to admit it, she is scared you'll make her do something probably super embarrassing

>Or she thinks you're gonna ask her for something pervy

>And for about half a second it may have crossed your mind

>But right now the pettiness wins

>Because you aren't just petty, hell you aren't even Super Petty

>You are King Petty, Ruler of the Low Road and Sovereign of Douchebaggery

>And Dash is about to find this out

"C'mon Dash, we're waiting." You taunt making her squirm just a little.

>Trixie has finally regained the ability to look at you and she is grinning almost as much you are

>She knows you have something planned

>"F-fine." Rainbow Dash says crossing her arms defiantly. "Truth."

>Hook, meet line and sinker

"Okay Dash, here's an easy one." You say looking her right in the eyes. "How many times have YOU shlicked to Daring Do fanficition?"

>You watch Dash's eyes bulge out in shock

>The rest can't believe what you just said

>Applejack tilts back her hat with her mouth hanging open

>Rarity goes to cover Fluttershy's ears

>Fluttershy just looks lost but starts to slowly blush as you think she begins to put the pieces together what you and Dash have been talking about

>Trixie is on the floor laughing beside you, you think you hear her say something along the lines of "You madman"

>Pinkie has her hands over her mouth in shock as she realizes she's the one who told you how much Rainbow Dash secretly loved those books

>You should thank her for that later

>And then there's Dash who is currently blushing so hard her face almost looks purple

>Feels Good Man

"Well Dash?" You say not looking away from her. "We're waiting."

38

>You are witnessing something truly rare

>Something no football player at CHS ever thought was possible

>Rainbow Dash totally speechless

>Part of you wants to take a picture so you can prove it truly happened

>Sadly Dash finally decides to speak up robbing you of your chance

>"I..." Her words come out in a mumble that actually rivaled Fluttershy's lowest whisper.

"What was that?" You ask comically cupping your hand to your ear. "You'll have to speak up."

>Dash blushes even harder

>If looks could kill they'd never find your body

>It makes this all the more worth it

>"I said I don't know alright!" She blurts out crossing her arms defiantly.

>Now you could just leave it at that

>You could let Dash off the hook and just get on with the game

>But remember, King Petty

"What's that? You don't know?" You say playing up your reaction. "It's a pretty simple question Dash. How many times, I mean it's not like it's over the double digits right?"

>Trixie is now kill, she can barely breath and is lying on the floor shaking with laughter

>Applejack has become one with her hat

>Rarity is in shock and her hands are about to become fused over Fluttershy's ears

>Fluttershy is just shyly trying to gauge everyone's reactions and is becoming embarrassed by proxy

>Pinkie is trying her hardest not to laugh at Dash, but even she can appreciate the level of savageness on display here

>Dash is just fuming.

>"I said I don't know okay! A lot, it's happened a lot okay." she finally admits

>Your grin can be seen from space

>Anon:1 Dash:0

>"Okay now I think it's time we give someone else a turn.Y'know, to try and keep the game move'n" Applejack cuts in before Dash snaps and tries to attack you

>Everyone agrees and slowly things start to settle down

>You just sit there swimming in your smug

>You won

>Pic very much related

39

>The game goes on for a while and things get pretty fun

>The truths ended up being pretty boring, but then again it was hard to top your previous round

>The dares on the other hand ended up being pretty fun

>Fluttershy was dared to prank call Professor Discord who ended up giving her a list of other numbers to try later

>Trixie was dared to preforma trick from her magic routine with you as her surly assitant

>Rarity was dared to dance for all of you

>And you'd swear she popped her hips a couple of times at you on purpose

>Dat ass mang

>You were dared to do a full set of push-up with Trixie sitting on your back

>Fluttershy even got in on the action and dared Pinkie to spend the rest of the game holding your hand

>You didn't mind, though as soon as he took hold of it she squeezed it super tight like she didn't want you to let go

"Heh, lewd." You leaned over and whispered to Trixie, but for once she actually didn't laugh at one of your anime jokes, what was up with that

>But then it finally came time for Dash to take a turn again

>She just sat there staring at you from across the circle

>You knew what was coming

>"Okay Anon, Truth or Dare." She said in a cold tone

>Okay now this could get dicey

>On the one hand you did a real number on Dash last time around

>Last time she was just looking to take some shots at you for some fun

>Now she was looking to get even

>If you pick dare this could go real badly for you

>On the other hand it doesn't help that you already have a good idea the kinds of things Dash will ask you if you pick truth

>And there wasn't really any coming back from that

>But still another thing to consider was that this was still Just Rainbow Dash

>Despite her best efforts you'd managed to make her eat her words at every chance tonight

>Thinking about that now you actually felt pretty good.

"Y'know what Dash, I pick Dare." You say meeting her stare

>Dash just smiles. "Okay Anon, then I dare you to kiss one of the girls in this room."

>Well FUCK

40

>Okay now all eyes are on you

>Again

>You're not sure if this is actually more awkward than telling a room full of attractive girls you have at one time beat'n your meat to them or not

>Because now you have to pick one to kiss

>Not that it's a super big deal

>You've kissed and been kissed before

>You just don't like being put on the spot like this

>Dash is just sitting there

>She thinks she's got you now

>For a brief second you consider moving across the circle and wiping that smile off her face with a kiss

>But you don't

>Because then you'd just be playing her game

>And you want to beat her at it instead

>Still you measure your options

>Applejack might be cool with it, but if Big Mac finds out he may just murder you

>Rarity could be nice, and who doesn't want to kiss the hottest girl in school?

>You'd just have to hope her fans didn't find out

>Because she was also one of the school's top waifus

>Fluttershy?

>No way, too pure, must protect

>While you're thinking about this Pinkie gives your hand a squeeze

>Wait

>That's it

>Pinkie I could kiss you

>In fact

"Okay Dash." You say giving her a smirk. "I've made my pick."

>Dash and the others all look at you expectantly

>Ignoring that you lift up Pinkie's hand then slowly turn and lightly place a kiss on top of it

"Done." You say confidently.

>The room goes quiet again for a second before Pinkie lets out a weird high pitch kind of squeal

>"Aw shucks." Applejack chuckles

>Rarity and Fluttershy just D'awww in unison

>Trixie just kind of stares at you in disbelief

>Dash leaps to her feet, "What was that? That wasn't the dare!"

"Yes it was." You grin. "Your words were 'kiss one girl in the room'" You explain doing air quotes with your free hand. "You didn't say where, or how long, or how I had to kiss them." You laugh. "Might wanna step your game up a bit." You say as you watch Dash starts to fume.

>"He's right you know Darling." Rarity giggles sending you a wink. "And now it's his turn."

>oh yeah it was

41

>Everyone knows what you're gonna do next

>So why disappoint them

"Okay Dash, Truth or Dare." This time you don't bother with the mind games

>You know what's gonna happen already

>Dash was way too competitive to let you get away with messing with her like you have

>"Dare." She says locking eyes with you from where she is standing. "Hit me with your best shot."

>Hook, meet line and sinker 2: The Gr8 B8 Chronicles

"Okay Dash, I dare you to kiss someone in this room, on the mouth, with tongue, for one full minute."

>Well now you've achieved it

>Dash has blushed so hard she's turned purple

>You almost wish Twilight was here for a shade by shade comparison

>All the other girls are looking from you to Dash in pure disbelief

>You almost feel bad about this, not for Dash of course

>Again, you're King Petty

>You feel bad for whichever girl she picks

>You hope it's not Fluttershy

>You kinda hope it's Rarity

>Dash is still just standing there

>For the first time she isn't glaring at you

>She's staring at the floor

>Has been for a good minute now

"C'mon Dash." You say signaling for her to hurry up "Don't tell me you can dish it out but you can't take it."

>Okay that did it

>Dash's head snaps up. "Oh, I'll show you what I can take alright."

>This is going to be good you think to yourself

>Wait

>Why is she walking towards you

>she's smiling

>that's not good

>Wait

>No

>Dash plops down hard on your lap almost knocking the wind out of you

>Trixie gasps and Pinkie's hand tightens around yours like a vice

>But you aren't thinking about that right now

>You're thinking about how you done goofed

>You may be King Petty, but you forgot the cardinal rule of Petty Warfare

>Never push someone too far because all it leads to is

>Mutually Assured Destruction

>You look up at Rainbow Dash and you see she's enjoying finally catching you off guard

>All you can say as she takes your face in her hand is

"Couldn't we just cuddle?"

>Dash smirks. "No" and then her lips crash down into yours

42

>And now you were kissing Rainbow Dash

>Well it wasn't really kissing

>It was more like you were having your mouth attacked by an angry shrew looking to prove some weird shrew point

>Her lips were soft though

>And you liked how she was using them

>Oh and there was the tongue

>This was getting weird

>And kinda hot

>Mostly weird though

>For once your boner is as confused as you are

>She finally moves one of her hands up to start running through your hair

>You figure you should do something with yours

>Maybe cop a feel

>Her ass wasn't the sweetest here, but it was the only one in your lap

>That made it pretty appealing

>You go to move your right hand and then someone grabs it

>Trixie?

>Why you gotta do me like that Trix

>Maybe she realizes you're not in your right mind right now

>Maybe she thinks it will make things weird if you grab Dash's ass in front of all her friends while she shoves her tongue down your throat

>Maybe she was just trying to cockblock you

>Questions for later

>You still have your left

>Except you don't

>Forgot for a second you were still holding Pinkie's hand

>Ha....lewd

>But seriously though she was holding onto it really hard

>Like really really hard

>You think it might actually break if she squeezes any harder

>You must really be getting distracted because Dash chooses that time to bite your lip

>Okay that was hot

>Hurt a lot

>But it was hot

>She has your attention again as she slips her tongue back in

>As she runs hers over yours for a quick second you imagine you can still taste the pineapple from her pizza

>You wonder if yours still tastes cigarettes

>Your boner was now no longer confused

>In fact he was now fully on board with the current situation

>"TIME!" Pinkie shouts all of a sudden

>Oh yeah, this all happened in a minute

>Dash pulls back and gives you the biggest smuggest smile you've ever seen

>Anon:1 Dash:1

>Hell who are you kidding, she won with that one

>"You can get off him now." Trixie says shooting Dash a mean look

43

>Rainbow Dash just looks at Trixie and then back to you and smirks

>As she moves to get off of you she gives an unmistakable roll of her hips

>Now you weren't gonna lie, that kiss from Dash got your blood flowing

>You weren't gonna get a bunch of awkward looks when she got up

>But there was no way in hell she didn't notice, especially while sitting in your lap

>Now she was just gloating

>Rarity is the first to say anything as Dash moves back to her spot in the circle, "Well that was certainly...a thing." She says sounding a little uncomfortable

"Yeah." You say a little breathlessly. "A thing."

>Trixie punches you in your arm

"Ow hey what was that for."

>"You had a stupid look stuck on your face." She said with a huff

>Okay that makes sense

>You didn't want to spend the rest of the night looking like a love struck retard after just one kiss

>Was a good kiss though

>But still

"Ah, okay, thanks. Good looking out." You say until you notice something, "Um, guys?" You say looking to Pinks and Trix, "Can I have my hands back now?" You ask lifting your arms to demonstrate they were still holding your hands like they were afraid they'd lose you in the mall or something.

>The two each look at their respective hands for a second then immediately let go with different embarrassing squeaking sounds followed by muttered apologies

>Okay, that was new

>"I think it's time we all try something else." Applejack chimed in get all your attention

>Yeah that was probably a good idea

>"OH, OH OOOH!" Pinkie squealed snapping out of her funk and jumping to her feet "How about a movie?"

>"That sounds like a fine idea." Rarity said clapping her hands

>"Yeah okay, sounds cool to me." Dash shooting you one last confidence filled smirk

>"Yeah, I could go for a picture right about now." Applejack agreed.

>"Great! Nonny did you bring any of your movies?"

"Yeah sure, they're in my bag." You say pointing Pinkie towards your shit

>A movie

>Yeah

>No way this could go wrong

>Right?

44

>As Pinkie rummages through your bag you try to do a mental inventory of the DVD's you grabbed on your way out of the house

>Some chill classics like Clerks and Mallrats of course

>Some mindless comedies like The Naked Gun and Austin Powers trilogies

>Some random kung-fu and samurai flicks like Drunken Master and Yojimbo

>And then their was your hard-drive

>You'd figured with Pinkie's help you and Trixie might even be able to convince the rest to watch some anime

>Just not Fate/Zero

>You may be a dick, but you weren't gonna subject these girls to the anime equivalent of a baptism by fire

>While you're thinking this it sounds like Pinkie may have made a choice.

>"Oh Nonny, I've never seen this movie before." She says holding up a case

>Oh no

>Not that

>How did that even get in there

>Shit you must not have cleaned out your bag from the last time you'd hung out with Flash.

>"Hey this one actually looks kind of good." Dash said sounding surprised as she looks over Pinkie's shoulder.

>"Actually I'm not sure about that one." You say trying to signal to Pinkie this would turn out bad while directing nods in Rarity and Fluttershy's directions

>Oh no, poor Fluttershy

>Must protect pure

>"Oh yeah, that's one of Anon's favorite movies." You hear Trixie say from behind you and immediately whip your head around to send her a glare

>She's all smiles

>Seriously did you piss her off or something

>She's watched this with you

>She knows what could happen

>"Well I'm down for anything, put it in." Applejack says plopping herself down on the bed.

>"Yes, I'm sure it will be a lovely feature." Rarity adds with a smile before joining her

>"I hope i-t's not to s-scary or violent." You hear Fluttershy mutter

>Your heart breaks

>"Alright let's start it up!" Pinkie sings moving towards the dvd player

>You sigh and take the spot between Rarity and Fluttershy and prepare for the worst as the title screen comes alive

> [YouTube] Sushi Girl Trailer (2013) (embed)

45

>The movie starts and everything is going fine

>Rarity of all people is the one to explain away the actual concept of a Sushigirl to the rest of the girls

>You actually wonder how she of all people knows that

>As the story gets going everyone seems to be having a good time and everyone starts picking their favorite characters

>Rarity picks Duke because of his taste in suits

>Applejack goes with Francis because he seems the most normal

>Pinkie loves Crow despite his racism and because it's Mark FREAKING Hamill

>Of course Dash picks Max

>And Fluttershy..

>Fluttershy picks FUCKING FISH

>It's like she is setting herself up for a bad time

>Then it finally happens

>The dinner scene ends and the plot proper starts and the girls realize things are about to get rough

>Rarity seems iffy but doesn't want to say anything

>Applejack is hopeful that things won't get too bad

>Pinkie and Dash are on the edge of their seats

>Trixie is grinning like a sadist watching the girls more than the movie

>And Fluttershy..

>Fluttershy looks like she's afraid to make a sound

>Instinctively you put your arm around her and try to comfort her

"Don't worry it's just a movie" You whisper to her as she huddles into you "None of it is real"

>She looks up with those big eyes of yours and after a second gives you a nod

>Then the first torture scene starts up and she starts clinging to you for dear life

>Each time Max throws a punch or gets mad she tries to huddle into your chest more barely watching the screen

>Then it gets to the part with the ribs

>No one but you and Trix know what's coming next

>The sound is what really sends her over the edge

>Fluttershy shoves her face into your chest and lets out a muffled scream

>Okay that's it

>You reach down as fast as you can a grab the remote and pause it

>Everyone looks at you and Fluttershy

"Yknow what I don't think she's ready for this kind of movie" You say while still barely clinging to the bed "I'm just gonna take her outside for some air"

46

>Everyone sees you hanging upside down off the bed with a terrified Fluttershy still hiding her face against your chest and silently agree that's a good idea

>With some help from Applejack the two of you get back to your feet and head out of the room

>You make sure to quietly snatch your smokes and lighter from your stuff without Pinkie noticing as you leave

>Once you get into the hall Fluttershy lets you go, but you keep your arm around her just to be safe

>You make your way downstairs and cut through the kitchen towards the back porch and run into Limestone in the kitchen looking for a snack

>She doesn't even notice Fluttershy and just glares directly at you. "What are you doing here?" She asks angrily

>Now despite knowing Pinkie since Elementary School you didn't know Limestone that well

>You did know two things

>She liked working with rocks

>And she hated you

>But right now you only had enough time for one annoying bitch and at least that one was a good kisser

"Pinkie forced me to come to her sleep over tonight." You say before pulling Fluttershy close to you "We were watching a movie and Fluttershy got a little shaken up. I'm taking her out for some air."

>Limestone finally notices Fluttershy and looks her up and down for a second then glares back at you, "Fine, but you better not try anything funny." She growls. "I've got my eye on you." And with that she bumps past you and heads back down for the basement

>What was that supposed to mean

>When did Pinkie become the easiest one to understand in this family

>You make it outside and finally take your arm off of Fluttershy

>The two of you stand there in silence for a couple seconds

>You decide now is as good as anytime and reach for your smokes, lighting up and blowing a plume of smoke towards the sky

>Looked like a storm was gonna roll in

>"I-I'm sorry." Fluttershy finally musters not looking up from the ground, "I didn't mean to ruin the movie for you"

47

>Okay now you feel like shit

>You barely even knew Fluttershy but now you're afraid you've scarred her for life and she's apologizing to YOU

>Time for some damage control

"Fluttershy you didn't ruin anything" You say trying to get her attention "I've seen that movie a hundred times and even if I hadn't it doesn't mean it's your fault that you didn't like it."

>She looks up at you finally. "I-It was just s-so sc-scary" She says

>You notice she's trembling

>Shit

>You had no experience dealing with sad/upset girls

>Pinks and Trix were pretty low maintenance when it came to stuff like this

>Well there is one thing you can try

"I know, here try this" You say fishing your pack out of your pocket and holding out a smoke

>Fluttershy gasps, "B-but that's..."

"Whoa there take it easy." You say calmly. "Just one won't kill you or get you addicted." You try to reassure. "It will help with your nerves though."

>Now Pinkie would probably kill you for this, but it was worth a shot

>And nicotine had never steered you wrong before

>Fluttershy stands there making up here mind for a few seconds, but then she slowly and gingerly took the cigarette out of your hand

>Okay you could work with this now

"Alright now just put it to your lips." You tell her stepping closer and cupping your hand as you grab your lighter. "Now when I light it suck in the smoke but don't breath it, just blow it out okay."

>Fluttershy nods and does as you say as you light up her smoke

>You watch as she carefully blows the first drag's worth out of her mouth

>"It's hot." She says looking at you expectantly

"I know, you'll get used to it." You reassure, "Now next time just breath in and focus on breathing out your nose, then just blow the rest out of your mouth. Take it slow okay."

>You were being careful

>Last thing she needed was to end up coughing her lungs out like you did your first time

>She nods and you watch her do as you say

>She does cough but nothing too bad

>It looks like she's calming down

48

>Okay, it looks like your plan is working

>Now what

>You try to think of what you usually do whenever you need to cheer Trix or Pinks up

>Wait

>That might work

"So, we know that movie isn't your thing." You finally say breaking the silence. "So what kind of movies do you like?"

>"O-oh, well um, I like Disney movies." Fluttershy says thoughtfully. "A-and movies about animals."

"Oh yeah? That makes sense." You say. "I mean you volunteer down at the shelter all the time so you must really like animal huh?"

>"Oh yes, I just love all the cute little things there." Fluttershy says perking up.

"I bet, why don't you tell me about them."

>And just like that your plan works

>Fluttershy just starts going on and on about all the animals at the shelter

>She's so busy telling you about all the puppies and kitties that she doesn't even think about anything from the movie

>You smile as you stub out what's left of your cigarette on the porch and light up another

>She had that same sparkle in her eyes Trixie got when talking about magic or Pinkie when she was planning a party for someone special

>Warmed the cockles of your cold dead heart

>You also really notice Fluttershy's body for the first time

>You really didn't take much notice of her at school because you were always afraid you'd scare her or something

>And earlier during the sleep over you'd been....kinda distracted

>But now that it was just the two of you, you let your eyes wander and you just had to say

>DAMN!

>I mean you knew she was like super cute

>But wearing just that nightdress you got to really see that figure

>Great legs

>Plump ass

>And them titties

>Probably the only pair that rivaled Pinkie's

>You could have probably stayed there for a while admiring the view

>But then you heard the porch door open

"Anon I can't believe you and the others actually enjoy that movie. It's just so barbaric." Rarity said joining you on the porch. "Fluttershy, is that a cigarette!?"

>Well fuck

49

>Now in your head offering Fluttershy a smoke to help chill out had seemed like a good idea

>At the time

>You knew Pinkie would be pissed at you

>But you never actually thought about what the others might think

>You might have wanted to think about it though

>Cause right now you looked like that guy in every after school special who passed out the drugs to innocent kids

>And Fluttershy was still the poster child for PURE

>Hell just looking at her right now staring wide eyed at Rarity in surprise you just wanted to give her a hug and some chocolate milk

>But instead you gave her a cigarette

>Smooooth

"Whoa, whoa easy Rarity." You say putting up your hands in defense, "It's not what it looks like."

>Why is it that no one ever listens when you say that

>"Oh, then what exactly am I looking at?" She asked crossing her arms and looking at you suspiciously

>Shit, what happened to the girl you're were pretty sure was flirting with you earlier in the night

>Wait, was that flirting?

>You hoped it was flirting

>Questions for later

>Focus

>Rarity mad now, Anon possibly in danger

"Listen I just gave her the one okay." You start off nervously. "I just wanted to calm her down a little and try to get her mind off things you know." You say turning back and glancing at Fluttershy. "And look, it worked. Fluttershy show me your hand."

>Fluttershy blinked a few times but then nodded and held up the hand not holding the smoke

"See, you've already stopped shaking," You say with a smile as Fluttershy marvels to herself.

>Rarity looks at the two of you and after a second lets out a sigh. "That's wonderful darling." She says smiling at Fluttershy. "But please don't give her another." She says looking back to you.

"Don't worry, I wasn't planning on it." You admit

>Sure you always kind of wanted a girl that you could smoke with

>But Fluttershy was much too pure for that

>You didn't want to be a bad influence on her

>Even though you were totally a bad influence on her

50

>As if reading your mind and wanting to prove you wrong Fluttershy decides to speak up "Rarity, thanks for worrying, But Anon's been really nice"

>"Oh has he now?" Rarity asked turning to you and batting her eye with a smile

>Seriously

>Was this how really hot girls flirt

>Felt like you were trying to interpret smoke signals

>Whatever if there was one thing you had master in life it was shooting the shit while smoking

"It was the least I could do" You say going back to working on your second cigarette "I mean I was the one who forgot the movie was in my bag after all"

>"Well isn't that gentlemanly of you" Rarity's smile widens by just a fraction and damn, it feels like she has you around her finger already

>Again you literally have to fight with your eyes to keep them from going to Rarity's tits

>You look into her eyes

>Okay somehow that wasn't much better

>Play it cool nigga

"Well I try" You say trying to act as smooth as possible

>She giggles "Well it's certainly refreshing" She says "But I can't see why such a nice boy like you would enjoy such an awful movie"

"It's actually a really good movie especially for an independent film" You say trying to defend your taste in movies if only a little "Plus I like crime movies" You clarify "So what part made you leave?"

>Rarity cringes a little, "I left because of that dreadful scene with the sock"

>Okay, you knew where they were now at least

>You still have a little time to kill

>"You know darling that really is a filthy habit" Rarity chimes back in pointing a well manicured finger at your cigarette

"That's what they tell me" You say with a humorless laugh

>"Um she is r-right Anon" Fluttershy adds meekly "And it's bad for you t-too"

>You smile at her and notice that somehow despite being almost done with your second she's barely down to half

"Yeah but they told me the same thing when I wanted to tryout for football" You laugh stubbing out your cigarette and taking Fluttershy's out of her hand

>She'd had enough

51

>You still have a little bit of time to kill before heading back inside so you make small talk with Rarity and Fluttershy

>Nothing big

>You did ask Rarity how much it would cost for her to make you a suit

>Then you found out that between labor and material costs you were better suited band t-shirts and jeans

>Rarity did say that she'd be happy to let you come over and take your measurements

>Again man, fucking smoke signals man

>Then once you were sure you were pretty much in the clear with the movie you decided to head back upstairs

>Rarity lead the way and you had to admit you'd been more than a little hypnotized by the way her hips swayed as you followed her up the stairs.

>DatAssMan.jpg

>Once you enter you see the rest of the girls glued to the tv

>Well at least some of them liked the movie

>Once they realize you're all back Pinkie paused the movie and ran over to Fluttershy and captured her in a big hug

>"Oh my gosh Fluttershy, I'm soooo sorry the movie freaked you out." She says while squeezing the girl. "Are you feeling better?" She asks finally letting her go.

>"Th-thanks Pinkie Pie, but I-I'm feeling much better thanks to Anon." Fluttershy stutters

>Aw, something about the way she said that just made you wanna blush

>But then you notice Pinkie making a weird face

>And then she starts sniffing the air

>"Fluttershy why do you smell like smoke?" She asks while looking right at you

>In fact everyone turns to look at you all of a sudden

>Damn it Pinkie

>Wait

>No

>You can still fix this

>You hope

>Brain run Bullshit.exe

"That's my fault." You say with a guilty half smile. "While we were out there I decided to have a couple smokes while I was calming her down." You say reaching into your shorts and fishing out the pack to show the rest. "You know how that smell just sticks to everything right?"

>You try to subtly nudge Rarity

>C'mon back me up here

>Please

52

>Thankfully Rarity picks up on what you're try to do

>"He's telling the truth." She says getting everyone's attention. "And aside from indulging in that dreadful habit he treated Fluttershy like an utter gentleman." She said smiling at you

>Okay

>You're making a note to learn how to read smoke signals when you get home

>"Alright, but Nonny what have I told you about smoking?" Pinkie says wagging a finger at you

>You sigh, "Something something bad for you something something you should come to a party something something." You say sarcastically

>That actually gets a laugh from Trixie and Dash

>Pinkie is way less amused

>"She's right y'know." Applejack says from her spot on the bed, "But Pinkie just be glad he doesn't do dip. It's plum disgust'n and I wish I could get Big Mac to quit."

>"Applejack that's like totally not the point." Pinkie says with her hands on her hips

>"Yeah, yeah we get it." Dash cuts in "Smokings bad m'kay, can we just give it a rest and get back to the movie already?"

>Wow, did not expect Dash to come through with the save

>Pinkie turns back to you and does that thing where she points to both her eyes then to you and repeats it a few times to let you know this isn't over before moving back to her spot by the tv

>Yeah, you could expect another lecture later

>You post up against the wall where you can see the tv

>As Pinkie starts the movie Flutterhy kind of just wanders over to you

>She scootches in right beside you

>"Th-thank you for not te-telling them about you know what." She whispers to you

"Hey, us smokers have got to look out for one another right?" You grin down at her

>She gives you a smile and you decide to see just where you're at in the movie

>You see that it looks like they just hit the climax and they're moving on to Duke's big speech scene

>You're right at the end

>But something is nagging at the back of your mind

>That's when the big twist happens

>Oh no

53

>You done goofed

>Not just goofed, you just went the full Goof Troop

>How could you forget the finger scene

>Actually you knew how

>Because you never had to watch this movie anyone who was super sensitive before

>Well, except for Flash

>And it was fun watching him be a big pussy

>But not Fluttershy

>She triggered all the Kamen rider instincts inside of you

>You wanted to protect that smile

>As the scene starts building to what you know is about to happen everything starts moving in slow motion

>You have to do something

>You turn and look at Fluttershy

>She's watching the movie

>Fluttershy why you do this to me

"Fluttershy you should close your..."

>it's too late

>It happens

>What has been seen can never be unseen

>This is the path you chose

>You hear Rarity gasp

>Applejack wince

>Pinkie oooh's

>Dash just cheers "Awesome."

>And Trixie just chuckles at all their reactions

>But Fluttershy....

>She just goes pale as a sheet

>Okay this may have just escalated to a few new levels of 'not good'

"Hey, hey, hey Fluttershy." You whisper to her "You okay?" You ask putting a hand on her shoulder

>That was a stupid question

>She actually wasn't looking good at all

>"A-Anon I..."

>And that's when it happens

>What little color Fluttershy had left leaves her face

>Her hands go to her stomach

>And what was in her stomach comes up to say hi to you

>You swear you can hear Simon and Garfunkle playing in your ears right now

54

>You are Pinkie Pie

>And your slumber party hadn't really gone how you'd planned

>It hadn't been all bad

>Nonny came and a lot fun stuff happened

>You'd gotten to see him play bass again

>He'd gotten along with your friends

>Well most of them

>Even Trixie seemed to be having fun too

>She hadn't even gotten mad at you for no reason once

>You'd even gotten to hold Nonny's hand

>He hadn't done that with you in years

>Well at least not on his own

>But then there was also some bad stuff

>Rainbow and Nonny really didn't get along

>But then she went and kissed him

>Not even your Pinkie-sense could have predicted that

>And you really didn't know how to feel about the kiss

>Actually you knew how it made you feel

>You just didn't want to think about it

>Then he had to go and start smoking again

>You really wish he'd quit

>You don't want to have to visit him in the hospital some day

>Still at least he'd been on his best behavior for once

>Even after Fluttershy had thrown up on him

>Nonny just stood there

>You were afraid he'd actually get mad

>But then he just did that thing where he takes a really deep breath and breaths out his nose and stopped Fluttershy from trying apologize

>You knew Nonny would never get mad at her

>He may act mean but he was really just your big sweetie deep down

>Once he was sure she was okay he grabbed his clothes and said he was going to get a shower

>You should probably go check on him

>But first you had to see if Fluttershy was okay

>Right now Applejack and Rarity were trying to calm her down while Dash went to get her some water

>She'd felt so bad about she'd done to Nonny that she almost cried

>Trixie even looked like she felt sorry for her

>"Hey Pinkie."

>"Yeah Trixie."

>"Trixie thought it might be a good idea to have some stomach medicine for tonight." She said. "It's in her bag."

>"Oh! That's great let me get it!" You cheer running over to Trixie's stuff

>"No Pinkie Wait!"

>You open the bag and what you find inside wasn't medicine

55

>You are Anon

>And right now standing in Pinkie's shower you've reached a level of zen

>A lot has happened tonight

>You'd put on a show for Trixie, Pinkie, and her friends

>Started a war of attrition with the chick with the biggest hateboner for your team ever

>Then made out with said chick

>And to cap it all off you may have just scarred the most innocent girl you've ever met

>And made her throw up all over your crotch

>So that happened

>Also you're still not sure if Rarity had been flirting with you

>You hoped she was

>But Nigga you was a realist

>Also thanks to your newly found Zen-like clarity you also realize you kinda agreed to a date with Applejack and not even known it

>So your love life had gone from zero to way too fucking complicated real damn fast

>Somewhere in the back of your head you hear Flash say "You say that like it's a bad thing"

>Now you feel like you really want to punch Flash

>But in a Zen way

>So with like Kung-fu

>Wow even with Zen-like focus your ADD was still a sonuvabitch

>But man with all this shit on your mind you you needed more than a cigarette to chill you out

>You needed a drink AND a cigarette

>Too bad with the way things were going you wouldn't have a chance of getting that until everyone had gone to sleep

>Oh well, no use crying over unpoured vodka

>You were Irish, not Russian

>You turn off the shower

>You towel yourself off and grab your jeans, the only piece of clothes you had

>Fluttershy's aim had been pretty good

>She'd managed not to get a single drop on the floor

>mostly because whatever hadn't hit your crotch just so happened to land on your other t-shirt

>You sighed and pulled your jeans on

>Time to go commando

>You head back to Pinkie's room and it's weirdly quiet

"Hey guys did I miss any...thing"

>Trixie is sitting on the floor looking really guilty

>All the girls are looking at you

>Pinkie looks pissed

>And she's holding a handle of vodka

>Well fuck

>You really getting tired of saying that too

56

>Okay, so Pinkie was pissed

>At you

>And hopefully only you

>Trixie looks a little like a scolded puppy

>But otherwise She looks fine

>And it didn't actually look like any of the other girls are mad at you two either

>Dash actually looks like she's expecting a show

>Fuck you too bitch

>But still Pinkie is pissed

>At you

>This was rare

>Usually it was the other way around

>But you had one ace up your sleeve

>Because you knew that just like how you could never stay mad at her, she couldn't stay mad at you

>You just had to be smooooth

>....

>Because that had worked for you so well for you tonight

>Whatever, focus

"Aw Pinkie, you got me a present." You say jokingly. "You shouldn't have"

>That got a laugh out of Dash

>Pinkie is still not amused

>"Anon."

>Okay, she's actually using your name

>Never a good sign

>"What did I tell you about bringing booze to the party?"

>Remember Anon, be smooth

"Well first off I didn't actually bring any booze."

>Trixie gives you a "What the fuck nigga?" look and you try sending her your best "Just trust me here" look back.

"And you never said that I COULDN'T bring booze." You point out. "You just said it wasn't THAT kind of party."

>That's when you see the realization dawn on Pinkie

>Just have to press the advantage now

"And I just thought why not MAKE it that kind of party" You say with a dramatic shrug

>This got another laugh from Dash

>And a giggle from Rarity

>You're getting the crowd on your side

>And Pinkie was looking less mad

>Keep going

"I mean you invited me Trix here so we could make friends, right Pinks?"

>Ha! You knew using the nickname would work

>She looks even less mad now

"And what better way to get to know each other than to have a couple drinks?" You say like it's the most obvious thing.

>"He does kinda have a point Pinkie." Applejack said with a chuckle

>"And a few drinks really wouldn't hurt." Rarity chimes in

>Yes, peer pressure

>Your long lost friend has returned

>C'mon Pinkie

57

"See Pinkie, few drinks between friends won't hurt, right guys?" You say looking to Fluttershy, Trixie, and even Dash for some support

>"R-right, Trixie is always happy to share a drink with friends."

>"U-um, I've ne-never tried alcohol before." Fluttershy shyly admitted, "But, um, I guess I wouldn't mind trying just a little."

>Okay, you were really a terrible influence

>Then you look to Dash

>She was the inevitable wild card

>Your pride says fuck her

>But your brain is screaming Temptation's lyrics

>Cause You Ain't too Proud to Beg

>Brain wins out and you send her a quick pleading look

>Because right now you could really a drink

>Dash actually looked deep in thought

>For like a milisecond

>Then she just grinned at you

>"Hell yeah Pinkie, now the real party can get started!" She cheered throwing her arms up

>Dash I could kiss you right now

>Oh wait, that happened already

>Heh, nice

>But you turn to Pinkie and put a hand on her shoulder

"See Pinkie, we're all good here." You say giving her a big smile

>She looks a little unsure, first looking to the bottle and then to you

>"Okay Nonny, we can drink." She said making you actually want to be the one to hug her this time, "But..."

>Damnit

>"Only if you promise you won't let things get out of hand." She said looking you in the eyes

>You just smile

"Pinkie I promise..."

>"No, not a regular promise." She says cutting you off by pressing a finger to your lips. "I want a Pinkie Promise." She said sternly

>What

>Seriously

>You hear the other girls start to giggle

>Except for Trixie

>"A what now?" She says looking at you confused

"C'mon Pinkie we're not..."

>"Pinkie." She interrupts pressing her finger back to your lips a little more firmly, "Promise."

>Yeesh, what were you, 8

"Fine." You sigh as you get ready to do the little hand motions, "I promise, cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

>RIP in peace dignity

>Pinkie smile is like the sun as she hugs you

>"Alrighty then." She squeals

58

>Okay, dignity wasn't such a big loss when you could feel the tig ol biddies pressing against your chest and vodka was about to flow

>Pinkie lets you go and hands you the bottle, "Okay, I'll be right back with some cups." Pinkie says before skipping out of the room

>You let out a breath you hadn't realized you were holding and take a seat on the floor

>After a second Trixie moves over to sit beside you

>"Soooo..." She says giving you a smug look, "Pinkie Promise huh?"

>You roll your eyes

"Long story."

>She giggles, "Anything you wanna share?" She asks. "I mean I know you get real talkative when you get drunk."

>Okay now that there were no longer any tits pressed against you you start to mourn your dignity

"You wanna hear that you're gonna have to work at it." You say with a smirk.

>"I can't believe you and Trixie were holding out on us with the good stuff Anon." Dash says taking her spot across from you on the floor again.

>Praise

>And from Dash

>The end must be nigh

"I like to think we were just saving the best for last." You joke putting an arm around Trixie so she can soak up the praise with you.

>You could tell she liked it

>You could see her blushing already

>"Well still that took some real guts to do." Applejack chuckles as the rest of the girls move to join you on the floor.

"Nah, it wasn't anything big. Plus Trixie was the one who did most of the work." You figure this is the best time to make Trixie look good at the party. "I just handled all the talking"

>"And my you certainly did." Rarity giggled. "Who knew you were such a charmer."

>Okay, depending on how much you had to drink in the next few minutes you may just take a shot with Rarity

>Because fuck smoke signals

"Well let's just say I'm full of surprises." You joke earning an elbow in the ribs from Trixie

>Before you can say anything Pinkie hops back into the room, "I'm back guys!" She declared holding up a bag of solo-cups

>Now it was time to get to business

59

>Pinkie plops down next to you completing the circle and passes you the cups

>You take your arm from around Trixie and reach over to where your unattended case of soda had been sitting pulling it to the center next to the bottle

"Okay girls, I'm Anon and I'll be your bartender for the night." You say jokingly earning a few giggles from the girls. "And tonight our drink special is what I like to call a Bargain Screwdriver." You say as you pull out the cups and crack open the vodka.

>You make sure as you pour to give Fluttershy's cup a little less vodka than the others

>It's her first time and she did just throw up a little while ago

>Plus she's too pure for you to want to get her hammered

>Of course that doesn't stop you from pouring the rest of what would be her helping into your cup

>Because fuck you need this drink

"Okay so since we're all here for a good time I suggest we have a little drinking game. In the spirit of friendship of course" You say giving Pinkie a look which earns you smile from her before you start mixing in the orange soda

>"Oh, and what exactly did you have in mind Anon?" Rarity asks coyly

>You grin at her before answering as you finish mixing the last of the drinks

"The name of the game ladies...and Dash," You smirk as she flips you off as you pass around the drink, "Is 'I've Never', rules are simple, One of us shares a little something with the group that they've never done before, and then anyone who has done that something takes a drink." You explain

>"Sounds right simple enough." Applejack says

>"Ooooh, this sounds like fun." Pinkie said clapping her hands

>"I'm down, but who's going first?" Dash asked picking up her cup impatiently

"Well since it was my idea I guess I can start you off with an easy one." You grin holding up your cup. "I've never been involved in any of the crazy magic crap that keeps happening at school." You say confidently

>You laugh but the you realize everyone is just staring at you in surprise

"What?"

60

>They all just keep staring at you

>Even Trixie

>Of course Dash was the one to break the silence

>"What do you mean you weren't there for any of that stuff?" She asks

>You just shrug

"I mean I really wasn't around for things getting all weird and magic-y"

>"Now I find that just a little hard to believe Anon." Applejack says giving you a skeptical

"Harder to believe than most everyone here magically growing pony ears and tails and shit." You say matching her skepticism

>"What I think we're all wondering dear is...how?" Rarity offered with a look of genuine curiosity

>You sigh

>Guess you might as well tell the story

FLASHBACK:

>It's the night of the Fall Formal

>And man did you hate school dances

>You didn't even want to come

>But even though Pinkie had been busy with her friends and that really weird new chick all week she made you promise you'd come

>That and you knew Trixie wanted to come so you had be here just to keep her company

>Nothing like going stag together right

>Still you were glad you could still sneak out back without Celestia and Luna seeing you so you could grab a smoke and quick shot from your flask

>You were about half way through you're smoke and about to take the first hit off your flask when you heard some crazy shit and saw some weird lights from near the front of the school

>Against your better instinct you head around the school to investigate

>Weren't ready for what you saw

>You don't know how, you don't know why, but there was Sunset Shimmer and her weird little flunkies

>And they were flying

>Because they were demons

>And then out marched everyone from school

>And they were zombies

>So you stood there for a minute

>Weighed your options

>And then noped right the fuck out of there

FLASHBACK END:

>"So you just ran away?" Dash asked looking at you like you were crazy

"Fuck yeah I did, bitch turned into a demon and had an army of zombies, what was I supposed to do? Blow smoke at her?"

61

>Trixie then proceeded to punch you in the arm

>Hard

>Well, hard for her at least

"Ow, hey what was that for?" You ask as Trixie just glares at you

>"So you just left me there as zombie?!" She growls hitting you again

"Ow, fuck, hey I came back remember?"

FLASHBACK:

>FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

>FUUUUUUUUUUCK!

>How could you be so stupid

>You'd managed to get almost a block away from school before you realized that you'd left Pinkie and Trixie back at the school

>And despite every sane voice screaming at you inside your head you were now running back towards the school to try and save them

>You did a quick meantal inventory of everything you had

>1 flask Dutch Courage

>1 and a half packs of smokes

>2 lighters

>And your pocket knife

>Yeah, you totally had all you needed to take on the school's biggest and meanest fucking cunt with full on demon powers and her army of darkness

>Could really use a chainsaw and boomstick right about now

>Oh well, at least this would be probably the coolest way to die ever

>You weren't ready for what you saw when you got back to school

>There was Pinkie

>And she was flying

>And she had a tail

>in fact her, her friends, and the new girl were putting on some kinda rainbow light show in the sky

>And then proceeded to bitchsmack the cunt queen of darkness with said rainbow

>And then a dog started talking

>In the face of all of this there was only one thing you could do

>light up another smoke and get wildly drunk

FLASHBACK END:

>"Aw Nonny, I had no idea you came back to save me." Pinkie gushed pulling you face first into her tits with another crushing hug

>Hello tits, good to see you too

>Once she'd let you go you felt another pair of arms wrap around you from behind

>"Sorry for hitting you....thanks for coming back for me" Trixie all but whispered before letting go

>Okay, now you were starting to blush

"Course I came back for you two, if I didn't who else could I find to put up with my shit." You laugh nervously

62

>"Still Nonny I had no idea you were drunk at the dance" Pinkie said looking a little embarrassed all of a sudden

"Pinkie I downed an entire flask of straight vodka in less than a minute" You say dryly "I don't even remember how I got home that night"

>"You're welcome by the way" Trixie says lightly slapping your arm "Though that explains how I got you to agree to dance with me" She grinned

>You go pale

"Shit, I actually danced that night?" You ask feeling what little dignity you'd managed to get back from earlier slowly dying again

>"Oh yeah you did." Trixie grinned even more. "And sang too."

FLASHBACK:

>You are The Great and Powerful Trixie

>And you were currently doing your best to help a very obviously drunk Anon back to his house as he leaned against you

"I know, I know, I kno-oh-oh-ow, I know just who I am! And what's in my head is my is that I don't really give damn! Just who you think I am!" He drunkenly sang rocking against you as you led him back home

>A part of you knew you should be recording this right now to show him later

>Buuuut

>He did slow dance with you

>So you could keep this a secret for him

>At least for now

FLASHBACK END:

"Somebody kill me now" You moaned just thinking of whatever kind of ass you'd made of yourself that night

>"Okay, but what about the other two times?" Applejack cut in pulling you from your self-pity

"Huh? Oh, well during the battle of the bands I was in detention."

FLASHBACK:

>Be Anon

>The only guy in school not attending the big battle of the bands

>Even whatever teacher was on detention duty for the week had just signed you in then left locking you in the room while they went to go watch the bands

>Have no clue about the magic shit going down in the gym because you're rocking out with your head phones in instead of doing homework

"Attention student body! Hello faculty! Show of hands how many of you here have met me!" You sang oblivious to brainwashing song currently flooding the school

FLASHBACK END:

63

>"Okay, but how did you miss the finals?" Dash asked eyeing you suspiciously, "The whole school was there for that."

"Oh that's easy, I was grounded all weekend for getting detention." You say simply stealing a quick drink from your cup

>Fuck the rules, this was taking too long

>Oh sweet vodka, how I missed you so

"Pinkie just told me about everything that happened on Monday."

>"Well it can't be helped." Trixie said grabbing your arm. "But now that I know you play bass you're definitely gonna enter it with me next year." She declared smugly

>"Nu-uh." Pinkie said grabbing your other arm, "He's gonna play with us next year." She insisted

>"Uh Pinkie, we already got a bassist." Applejack said giving her a perturbed look.

>"Heh, oops, my bad." Pinkie sheepishly admitted before letting go of your arm

>You laughed and didn't notice Trixie stick her tongue out at her before she also let go of your arm

>"B-but then where were you during everything that happened during the friendship games?" Fluttershy asked

"Oh that, I just ditched during those." You laughed

FLASHBACK:

>Be Anon

>Be currently hiding on the other side of the school instead of your usual place behind the bleacher to smoke so no one pulls you into all this friendship games BS

>"So why is it you're not joining all your little classmates in the day's events my boy?" The Janitor Mr. Discord asked as he smoked from his novelty bubble blowing pipe

>You’d also stopped questioning why every few weeks Mr. Discord would change jobs here at the school after the day he went from being the language arts professor one day then came to school in full drag the next and took over as the lunch-lady

"Mr.D some of the events include cake baking, bird house building, competitive math, and a triathlon with archery, roller derby, and motocross. There's no way I'm having any part of that." You say taking a long drag

>Mr.D just gives you a devious smile, "I see, but isn't participation quite mandatory?"

"Dunno, isn't mandatory that ankle monitors always be on?" You say pointing at the deactivated block above his foot Celestia made him wear for some reason

>He just smirked wider "Touche my boy."

FLASHBACK END:

64

>The girls all go back to staring at you in shock

>Rarity is the first to speak up this time, "My word, you actually did manage to miss out on everything." She says in disbelief

"Told you so." You say with a grin. "Now drink up everybody, we're just getting started." You say pointing around the circle. "Except you Fluttershy, you just take a sip for the first few to get used to it for now."

>You could at least try not to be a terrible influence

>Key word being TRY

>You watch with marked satisfaction as all the girls take their first drink

>Things were going pretty good

"Alright who wants to go next." You say holding up your drink hoping someone gives you an excuse to down a good chunk of it real soon.

>You see everyone trying to think of a good idea when Dash decides to go next

>"Okay...I've got one." She says with surprisingly less confident than usual

>Wait was she blushing

>"Until tonight I've never kissed anyone before." She admits sheepishly

>Oh

>Oh wait!

>OH SHIT!

>You were Dash's first kiss!

>What the actual fuck

>You've so gotta tell Flash about this shit later

>But first....

>You, Pinkie, and Rarity all take a drink

>Though you're probably the only one who downs about a third of their cup

>But hey, it is a party after all

>Dash looks pissed now

>"Okay Anon I'm calling BS." She says pointing at you.

"Hey, don't blame me." You say pointing right back at her. "Blame Pinkie, she's the one whole stole my first kiss." You say gesturing to Pinkie next to you

>"Oh c'mon Nonny, you're not still grumpy about all that are you." Pinkie said blushing a little "I mean we were only kids."

"Pinkie you chased me around the yard for like 20 minutes and then held me down on the ground until I agreed to kiss you." You reminded her "It was hardly a treasured memory."

>Okay, that was a bit of a lie

>It wasn't that bad of a memory

>You'd just never tell her that

65

>Now everyone is just looking at you and Pinkie

>Dash is glaring at you

>Applejack is just kind of smirking

>Rarity and Fluttershy are just smiling like they think it's adorable

>And Trixie...

>Trixie isn't really looking at you, but she is staring right at Pinkie with a look you can best describe as "IS DIS NIGGA SERIOUS"

>Pinkie is starting to blush

>Like a lot

>Might as well divert some of the attention

"But it's not just Pinkie, I've been kissed by a few girls at some parties." You admit earning few new looks now. even from Pinkie

>Why did she look so surprised

>"Oh do tell darling." Rarity says arching an eyebrow at you

"Hey not to brag, but have you ever been to a football team party? You walk in wearing a jersey and even a third stringer like me can attract a little attention." You chuckle "Hell if I was better with the ladies maybe I would have gotten a number by now, but 9 times out of 10 they usually just disappear on me and leave me hanging." You admit with a bit of embarrassment

>"Yeah..." Trixie mutters to herself while steal a quick drink "Disappear."

FLASHBACK:

>You are the Great and Powerful Trixie

>And who the hell did this bitch think she was just kissing Anon like that

>Flaunting her tits in front of him in the low cut top

>Actually you knew who she was

>She was Lightning Dust

>One of Dash's teammates from the soccer team

>Normally Anon wouldn't ever even talk to her

>But for one he was drunk

>And two they weren't really talking

>But you could fix that

>You see Anon walk off, probably to get another drink

>Now's your chance

>You walk up to her and get her attention "You know he has a girlfriend right?"

>That gets her attention

>"Well I don't see her here with him." she smirks

>This fucking bitch

>"That's because she's in juvie right now."

>That REALLY gets her attention

>"What?"

>"Oh yeah, got sent there after what she did to the last girl she caught kissing her man." You grin as you watch her sweat.

66

>Dust is starting to look a bit nervous

>feels good man

>"On the bright side the doctors managed to fix up the other girls face afterwards." You pause to take a sip of your drink "Well...most of it anyway."

>You try not to laugh as she makes a beeline for the other end of the party almost tripping over her feet as she goes

>"Y'know you wouldn't have to keep doing this all the time if you just told him already." Flash says walking up behind you

>"Shut up." You say blushing into your drink as Anon stumbles back to you two

"Hey? What happened to what's her face? Lightning whatever?"

>Okay, time for the cover story

>"Sorry Anon, she found out you were just third string and decided to go try hitting on some starters instead."

>It's kind of cute as you watch his drunk brain process this and go from sad to pissed slowly

"Man fuck that bitch! Who needs her anyway."

>aw, he's cuter when he pouts

>"I know how you feel big guy." You say patting him on the back "Hey, if we're not too hungover tomorrow you wanna come to my place and watch some anime?"

"Fuck yeah!"

>Score

>Just took a little misdirection

FLASHBACK END:

>"...almost like magic" she whispers to herself

"But hey enough about us, Rarity took a drink too, why don't you question her a little." You laugh pointing at Rarity with your cup

>"Oh there's hardly anything to tell Anon dear." She says giving her hair a little toss "I've had a few dates here and there, and some of those ended in a goodnight kiss, but hardly anything special. And not for sometime either I'm afraid, I've been so caught up with my work I've been woefully single." She says looking back to you

>Okay

>That wasn't even smoke signals

>She basically just went out of her way to tell you she was single

>If you get even a second alone with her you're taking a shot

67

>"Okay so who's up next?" Applejack asks obviously looking for an excuse to start on her drink

>"O-oh, um, I have one." Fluttershy says meekly "I've, um, never been mean to animals."

>Okay

>You think you may need to explain to Fluttershy how this game is supposed to work

>Because no one wanted to take a drink that badly

>Weeeeell....

>except for you and Trixie

>Now everyone is really staring at the two of you

>In fact you think you may have just broken Fluttershy's heart

"Um....define 'be mean to' " You say as you and Trixie just kind of hold up your cups still a little afraid to take a drink, "And just to clarify it was totally in self-defense"

>"And it really wasn't our fault." Trixie added nervously

"It was kinda your fault"

FLASHBACK:

>Be 11 year old Anon

>You really didn't want to be here, but you owed Trixie a favor and she wanted help practicing her new routine

>Which is why you were currently carrying a giant as painted wooden box to the stage she had in her backyard

"Shit Trix, what's even in this thing?"

>"Foolish Anon, a magician as magnificent as The Great and Powerful Trixie would never reveal her secrets." She says proudly while playing with her cape

"No, seriously what is in this thing?" You say not in the mood for this shit, "It's heavy and I keep hearing shit rolling around in there." You may have also dropped it once while bringing it down from her room

>Hopefully you didn't break anything

>"Hmmph, well if you must know, Trixie spent the last few months saving up her allowance and the money she received from her birthday party jobs to buy a small flock of doves she can release during her epic finale!" She declares proudly

>Okay....you hadn't been expecting that.

"Kay...but you sure their alive in there?" You say putting down the box

>"What?" is all Trixie can say with wide eyes

"I mean for a box full of birds it's pretty quiet...and I don't see any air-holes"

68

>There's a small lull where what you just said sets in

>Then Trixie rushes over to the box

>"Please don't be dead, please don't be dead, please don't be dead" She just kept repeating to herself as she fumbled with the latch

"Um, this might be a bad time to ask, but when was the last time you fed them."

>You don't get an answer to your question

>Because right then Trixie managed to get the box open

>And out popped a dozen confused, hungry, and pissed off doves flying out at you and Trixie

>Pecking and clawing at you guys while you ran around screaming

FLASHBACK END:

"What I'm saying is I never thought I would have to punch a dove, but they sure can take a hit." You say as the girls bust out laughing while you and Trixie take your drinks

>Well Fluttershy doesn't laugh

>But she doesn't look like you stomped on her heart anymore though

>So there was that

>"Oh those poor little doves." She says unconsciously taking another small sip of her drink

>"Yeah, those poooor doves." Trixie moaned sarcastically "More like ungrateful, do you know how much money I lost when they finally flew away. And since then my parents still don't trust me when I say I've fed the cat." She huffs

>"Oh, oh, pick me I've got one!" Pinkie says excitedly "I've never had a crush on someone older before." She says glancing to you

>You, Rarity, Dash, and even Fluttershy take a drink

>"Okay now this I've got to hear." Applejack said peering around the circle

>"Oh come now Applejack, it's hardly uncommon to fantasize about being with someone older and more refined." Rarity dismissed

>"Then why don't you tell us who you had a crush on then." Dash says obviously not wanting to be the first to share

>"Why of course, last summer I was doing an internship at none other Fancy Pant's own design studio." She says wistfully "By the end of the first day I found myself quite smitten by his charm and style. Of course he didn't notice anything more than my designs, but such is life."

69

>If this Fancy Pant dude was as big a deal as Rarity made him out to be you kind of wondered why she was giving you the signals all night

>But then again you weren't gonna look a gift horse in the mouth

>"What about you Anon?" Trixie said looking pretty curious

>"Yeah Nonny, you never told me anything about a crush." Pinkie says giving you a suspicious look

>Gee, I wonder why

"Well it wasn't that big a thing, it was only for like a week" You explain "But I did have a bit of a thing for Vice-Principal Luna freshman year"

>Everyone just kind of gasped

"What? Ol' girl got it going on." You say thinking back on a certain fantasy involving discipline and that dominating voice she liked to use

>Ah good times

>May wanna revisit that one when you get back home tomorrow

>"Dude that's like so weird." Dash says looking almost disgusted at you

"Oh really, then who was your older crush then?" You ask

>Now all eyes were on her

>And she was blushing again

>You were starting to get more and more used to seeing that

>She just looked into her cup and muttered something

"What was that Dash?"

>"Assistant Coach Soarin okay." She spoke up blushing just a little more

>"Oh, is that why you wanted me to help you learn to bake pies last year?" Pinkie piped up excitedly

>"Pinkie shut up." Dash said sending her an angry look

>Soarin huh, you'd met him a few times when he subbed in coaching the receivers for your team when the offensive coordinator was busy

>Nice guy, but kinda dumb

>Of course Dash liked him

>"What about you Fluttershy?" Dash asked looking to get the attention off herself fast

>"Oh, um, well I kind of liked Professor Discord for a while."

>Okay, now all of you were staring at Fluttershy

>Though you couldn't really blame her

>Sure he was weird as hell, but dude was slick

>And you knew that because of the one time you saw him and Celestia making out in his car while you were smoking

>But you weren't sharing that story

>Or at least you weren't for another few drinks

70

>You all silently decide to not ask Fluttershy anymore about her crush

>Even though you really had more than a few questions you wanted to ask

>But they could wait for later

>You all just decided to go on with the game

>And you had a great time

>After a few dud rounds you also instituted a rule that if no one took a drink during a round then everyone had too

>Sure it didn't make sense, but it was an excuse to drink so no one really cared

>By now everyone but you and Fluttershy were on their second drink

>She was still on her first

>You were on your third

>And hoping that you'd be making your way to your fourth real soon

>You almost hated to admit it but you were really having a good time and were starting to really get to know the girls

>You also found out who the light weights were real fast

>Rarity, Dash, and Fluttershy were already showing signs of more than just a buzz

>Dash especially

>And she seemed to be a bit of a horny drunk

>The more she drank the lewder her turns seemed to get

>And it felt like a lot of them were directed at you

>Not sure if she was looking to still get back at you from earlier

>Or if this was Dash's drunken way of hitting on you

>"Okay, okay, I've got another." Dash said waving her drink around. "I've never touched another girl's...you know." She said seemingly getting embarrassed right at then end, deciding to mime the last bit by cupping her hands under a pair of non-existent breasts

>"You mean boobs!?" Pinkie chimed in loudly, she was on her way to passing tipsy too it would seem

>"Yeesh, yeah Pinkie, boobs." Dash growled with a blush that wasn't from the alcohol coming to her cheeks. "I've never touched another girl's boobs okay."

>You and the girls laughed at Dash's little outburst before you, Pinkie, and Rarity took a drink

71

>"Hey now Rarity, what you do'n that's got you gett'n a handful of other girls tata's?" Applejack asked

>Her accent seemed to get even thicker as she drank

>And that was kinda hot

>"Oh stop you." Rarity giggled. "It's strictly professional, do you know how many girls I've had measure and fit for dresses and outfits. Why if my little girls here could talk, oh the stories they'd tell." She said holding up her hands and wiggling her fingers

>Okay, now you had to learn how to read smoke signals AND sign language

>Oh Rarity, the things you do to me

>"Is no one gonna talk about Pinkie's wandering hands here?" Trixie asked eyeing Pinkie cautiously from the other side of Anon

>"Ac-actually w-we're all kind of u-used to it." Fluttershy answered cutely stumbling over her words

>She was this pure AND a cheap date

>urge to protect intensifies

>"It's not my fault silly." Pinkie laughs "Sometimes when you go in for a hug you just don't know where your hands will wind up."

>You feel the need to explain to Pinkie that's not how hugs work...but you're too drunk to care at this point

>"I'm more interested in Anon." Rarity said batting her eyes at you

>Ha, Phrasing!

>"It's starting to sound like you're quite the lady's man." She added with a bit of a pur in her voice

>"Ha! Yeah right, I don't buy it." Dash interrupted

>You just give her the most unimpressed look you can muster

"You do realize I've been friends with Pinkie since like forever." You say unenthusiastically "Because of her I've known what boobs feel like since I was like 12."

>Everyone does that thing where they stare at you again

>Shit was getting old

>Wait, was Pinkie staring at you too

>And why was she covering her chest

"Are you telling me you never realized what you were doing?"

>"I didn't, well, I never..." Wow, you've never seen Pinkie embarrassed like this before

>It was actually really cute

>.....

>Did you really just think that

>Shit you must be sloshed

72

>So now Pinkie was flustered

>Like incredibly flustered

>And despite how much your drunk brain thought this was both cute and entertaining you also felt just a tad bit responsible

"Listen Pinks, it wasn't even your boobs I was talking about."

>"Wait what?" Trixie pipes up in surprise

>"They're not?" Pinkie said sounding both relieved and kind of offended

>"Oh my." Rarity chuckled

>"Sounds like y'all got some 'splain'n to do." Applejack said leaning in

"It's not even that good a story." You sigh "You all remember the party we had after the homecoming game?"

>"Oh, oh, oh I do." Pinkie said looking proud. "That was some of my best work."

"No, not that one, the one after that. At Flash's house."

>The group let out a collective "Oooooh"

>Yeah, now that had been a party

"Yeah well about halfway through that party Norman comes up to me asking for help." You start to explain "He'd brought that Moondancer chick with him and she wanted to try to fit in by doing waaaay too many shots. She was rekt and he asked me for help getting her to his car."

>You may be a dick, but let no one say you aren't a good wingman

"So she's like completely out of it and just sitting at the floor rambling at people right, so I go to pick her up, but she's a wiggly drunk."

>Again another collective group "Oooh"

"Yeah, so she's squirming around in my arms and I'm trying to get a hold of her until finally I find something to get a grip on and next thing I know I have two real big and real soft handfuls." You laugh a little "Let's just say she's hiding some real treasure in those sweaters."

>Why did you just rhyme

>Fuck it

"So yeah, not as cool as it sounds I know. We did get her to the car safe by the way." You add quickly "So c'mon, who's up next?" You say hoping to get some more drinking in

>"Fine, I have one." Trixie says next to you "I've, well, I've never had a relationship before."

73

>Aw Trix

>Don't you go all sad drunk on me

>But still

>Iknowthatfeel.jpg

>You look around the circle and see nobody taking a drink

>Wait....seriously

>Literally HOW!?

>But still questions for later

"Bust round, everybody drink!" You declare stupidly

>"Hey wait minute." Dash interrupts eyeing you from across the circle "Why didn't you take a drink Anon?"

>Huh

"Huh?"

>"What about your crazy girlfriend in juvie?" She asks

>Again, HUH?

>You and the others are too drunk and distracted to see Trixie's eyes go wide as she goes stiff as a board

"Dash I'll have you know I'm a burnout, not a delinquent" You say sounding offended

>"There's a difference?" Applejack asks

"There is!" You insist "Plus I don't have a girlfriend in Juvie, I've never even had a regular one."

>"That's not what Lightning Dust told me." Dash says crossing her arms and glaring at you

>Literally who

"Who the hell is Lightning Dust?"

>"One of my teammates, she said she made out with you at a party."

>Okay, now you know she's lying

"Dash I find it hard to believe I'd make out with a soccer player" You say with a laugh "Present company excluded of course. Also I still have no idea who you're talking about."

>Dash huffs and pulls out her phone pulling up a picture of her and another girl

>Oh

>Her

>You remember her

>Specifically those tits

>She'd seemed keen on you getting to know them too

"Oh her, she ditched me at that party after making out with me for a couple minutes." You explain

>"Yeah, she ditched you cause someone told her you had a crazy girlfriend who'd kill her if she caught Dust with you." Dash said taking back her phone

>Fuck

>This doesn't make sense

>You wish you could remember what happened at that party

>You got drunk

>Laughed at Flash get thrown up on by Sunset when he tried to ask her back out

>Made out with what's her name

>Got ditched

>After that all you remember is watching Anime with Trixie the next day while hungover

"Well I don't know who told her that." You say scratching your head

74

>Rarity decides now is as good as any to interrupt, "So what I'm hearing is that you're single" she giggles

"You know it. I'm single and ready to mingle." You laugh stupidly as you bust out the finger guns

>Wait

>Finger guns

>Damnit Anon don't blow this

>Wait, they're laughing

>Well most of them are

>Pinks and Trix aren't

>Which is weird since they usually love the finger guns

>But whatever, just roll with it

>The game goes on for a few more rounds but finally the bottle is tapped and you all decide to watch something while you finish your drinks

>You're put in charge of picking something this time so you grab your hard drive

>You just need to think of something everyone would like to watch

>After a few minutes of deliberating you realize that your best

>And really only option

>Is your Kamen Rider series

>But which one

>You try going over the options in your head

>Rarity would probably love the BL undertones in W

>Dash and Applejack would love the craziness of Drive

>OOO's kind of had animals so Fluttershy might like it

>Pinkie and Trixie would both probably be down for Wizard

>Wait

>All these girls are like super big on FRIENDSHIP weren't they

>Then you know exactly which series to pick

>And it doesn't hurt it's your all time favorite

>You hook your hard drive up to Pinkie's tv and settle down on the floor in front of Pinkie's bed

>The girls move in and all of a sudden Trixie and Pinkie take their same spots on your left and right side followed by Fluttershy who takes a seat on your lap of all places, blushing and muttering something about not wanting to get scared again, and then there was Dash who was sitting up on the bed behind you and rubbing her feet against the back of your head

>Seriously WTF

>But...it actually felt kind of nice

>Weird, but nice

>Whatever

>You start up the first episode and hope for the best

> [YouTube] Kamen Rider Fourze opening theme (embed)

75

>Everyone is a little iffy and confused at first

>But after the first couple of minutes they start enjoying it

>You want to think it's because Kamen Rider is great

>But it's probably just the alcohol

>Either way you're happy

>You guys watch through the first few episodes for a while and nothing too big happens

>Fluttershy gets a little scared of the Zodiarts, but she gets used to them soon enough

>Dash and Applejack really like the slapstick jokes and the action

>Rarity loves the costumes

>And Pinks and Trix seem to really love Gentarou

>No surprise there, he is BEST MAIN after all

>You wish you could pull off a pompadour like that

>But after about episode 5 you're all out of drinks and decide it's about time to hit the old dusty trail

>Everyone picks a spot on the floor and grabs a blanket or cuddles up in their sleeping bag

>All except for you of course

>It sucks but for whatever reason you always were shit when it came to getting to sleep while drunk

>So you just lay there and think about everything that happened

>You remember stuff like how you somehow have a Bass Jam date with Applejack

>And how Rarity seems to be down for date too

>You just need to ask her

>And then there was that kiss with Dash

>Your mind lingers on that for a good minute

>It really had been pretty great

>Even if no one from school would believe you if you told them what happened

>But then again some chick was going around telling people you had a crazy girlfriend in Juvie and they believed that so maybe they would

>For a second you wonder if Dash might give you that Lightning chick's number

>maybe get another shot at those tits

>That's when you hear it

>Sounded like one of the girls was getting up for something

>You decide to pretend to be asleep

>Don't wanna be the creepy dude sitting awake staring at the ceiling at 12 am

>You hear the foot steps stop and feel someone standing over you

>What the hell

>"Hey Anon?" They whisper

>You open your eyes and look up

>What the fuck

76

>It was Dash

>Just standing there over you

>Scratch that

>Not JUST Dash

>But Dash wearing nothing nut a workout bra and a pair of tight black panties

>And a smile

>The kind of smile that was anything but innocent

"D-Dash, what are..."

>You don't get to finish your sentence as she crawls down on top of you and plants her lips on yours for the second time tonight

>Wow

>You'd almost forgot how soft they were

>You don't know what's really going on but you're too drunk not to go with it

>Finally she breaks the kiss and looks at you with lidded eye and hungry smirk as she brings a finger to her lips

>"Ssssshhh, we don't wanna wake the girls." She says playfully

>You rest your hands on the small of her back and feel the tight muscle under your fingers

"Dash, what the hell is this?" You ask

>You're not complaining mind you

>You just want to know what's going on

>Dash just giggles

>"Well I just couldn't get that kiss out of my head, and the more I thought about it the more I wanted some more." She said running her hand down your bare chest "Plus I know you liked it too." She laughed grinding her crotch into yours

>You hadn't even realized you were at about half mast

>But now you were very aware

>"So what do you say Mr. Flips? Wanna show me what Lightning Dust missed out on?"

>Fuck it

>You don't even answer her

>You just move your hand up to the back of her neck and pull her in for another kiss

>You hear a happy sounding moan so at least you know you're doing good right before she parts her lips and slips her tongue out to meet yours

>Now all you can taste on her is the alcohol but you don't care as Dash writhes on top of you

>You move your other hand down and get a hand full of her ass

>It wasn't anything like Pinks or Trix

>Her was tight, but still firm

>Another moan told you she liked that

>And you did too

77

>As the kiss deepens your drunk mind starts to race

>So much input from the feeling of her lips, the taste of her tongue, to the feeling of her pressing into you

>And of course one stupid ass thought has to cross your mind

>You can't help it

>You laugh into the kiss

>Like a fucking moron

>Dash stops dead and pulls away glaring down at you

>"What the fuck?" She hisses "What's so funny?" She demands

"Nothing, it's nothing." You say trying to get a hold of yourself

>And a hold of that ass

"It's just you were talking shit about Dio earlier, and now you're my Rainbow in the Dark."

>She just stares at you for a second

>Then punches you lightly in the chest

>"You're such a dork." She mutters before running her hand over where she just hit as her expression softens to the same hungry one as before "But you know I was wrong before, you do have a pretty nice body." She grins running both hands along your chest

"Yours is pretty nice too." You grin as you move your hands from her ass and trail them up towards her tits

>They weren't anything great

>Saying they were barely a B-cup would be generous

>But just like before the fact they were yours to play with made them instantly in your top 5

>You cup them and run your thumbs over the erect buds of her nipples poking out against the fabric

>Dash lets out a high pitch squeal of a moan

>That was simultaneously one of the cutest and hottest things you'd ever heard

>And you wanted to hear more

>You start focusing on her tits

>Circling and tweaking her nipples

>Dash is biting her knuckle but still the occasional squeak eeks out

>Any other time you can barely stand listening to Dash's voice

>But now you can't get enough of it

>"A-Anon..." She groans bracing herself against your shoulder with one hand as her hips start rocking against your bulge

"Yeah Dash?" You say enjoying what your teasing is doing to her

>"I want..." She trails off with a moan

"Use your words Dash." You say in a husky voice "Tell me what you want?

78

>"I...I...want" Dash's breath hitches in her throat as she stifles a gasp "I want you to touch me more." She finally mutters out reaching down with her free hand to pull up her bra

>You take a second to marvel at Dash's modest chest and little aroused nipples

>You can see her blush as she looks down at you pleadingly

>Oh yeah, she wants it bad

>You grin as you lean in and take her right nipple between your lips and Dash has to bite down on her knuckle again to stop herself from waking the others with her moan

>You know it's dangerous, but you really want to force some more moans out of her

>You take turns between her nipples now, sucking, licking, and occasionally nibbling on them

>Dash is trembling in your grasp and trying with all her might to keep quiet

>But you're still able to drag sighs of pleasure from her

>Finally she pushes you down and stares at you with predatory eyes

>She runs her hand down your chest until it finds the unmistakable bulge in your pants

>"Y'know when we first kissed this little guy seemed like he wanted to say hi." She said with a voice heavy with lust as she rubbed your dick through your jeans "I think it's time we get to know each other." with a smirk she unzipped your fly and with surprisingly delicate fingers she freed your dick "Wow, it's bigger than I expected."

>You're not sure how to take that

>But you decide it must be a compliment as she starts slowly stroking up and down the shaft

>Now it's your turn to let out a groan

>And Dash seems to enjoy that as much as you did hers

>"Aw, do you like that Anon?" Dash asks as she teases the tip with her thumb

>You groan again

>For a soccer player she sure knew how to use her hands

>"C'mon Anon" Dash grins as she goes back to stroking you "Use your words"

79

"Dash..." You moan

>Her grin gets even wider "I like when you say my name like that."

>She leans down and kisses the head of your dick and you have to cover your own mouth this time

>"I think it's time we get on to the main event" Dash says crawling back up your body

>She reaches for where you'd discarded the contents of your pocket and grabs your wallet

>"Once I find your condoms I'm gonna rock your world." She says as she begins rifling through your wallet

>Condoms

"Dash I don't have any condoms." You mutter dumbly making Dash freeze on top of you

>"What do you mean you don't have any condoms?" She hisses dropping your wallet

"Well when Pinkie invited me to this party I wasn't thinking 'hey, Rainbow Dash may want a taste of my dick, better go grab some rubbers to be safe' " You whispered back

>Still now you were cursing that you didn't

>Because this was probably a once in a life time kind of thing

>"So what are we supposed to do now?" Dash asked glaring at you

"Well we could always try nature's birth control." You say almost jokingly

>Almost

>"Anon I'm not letting you put it in my ass right now." Dash says blushing just a bit

>Wait RIGHT NOW

>That implies there may be a future in which your dick does get to find it's way into Dash's tight little ass

>That puts all the life this conversation had taken out of your boner back in

"Well I have another idea." You say feeling a bit adventurous

>"I'm all ears"

"You ever hear of hotdogging?"

>Dash grins again, "You really want to play with my ass, don't you?" She says wiggling it against you

"Can you blame me?" You ask giving it a light smack followed by a squeeze which get another moan from her

>"Fine, we'll try it, but if I don't get off then your ass is mine." Dash says as she starts moving on top of you

>You sit up as she situates herself in your lap with your dick pressing into her ass

>Even with the panties on this feels amazing

>But Dash has other plans

80

>Dash reaches down and pulls her panties to the side before reaching back and guiding your dick between her cheeks

>You were wrong before, without the panties in the way this feels soooo much better

>The pressure and feeling of Dash's taught ass around your dick is like nothing you've ever experienced

>And then that's when she decides to start rocking her hips

>DICK STATUS: M-MUH!

>You plant a kiss on Dash's neck to try and stifle a moan

>She puts and hand on your head to keep you there

>"Aw, do you like when I do that?" She asks coyly as she rocks back and forth again grinding into you

"mmmhhhmm" Is all you can manage to reply as you kiss up and down her neck

>You move your hands from her hips sending one up to toy with her breast and another down to finally give some attention to Dash's pussy

>As you reach down you discover two things

>One that when Dash pulled her panties aside to give your dick access to her ass it also pulled them away from her pussy

>And two that pussy was wet

>We're talking rising flood waters wet

>You must have been doing something right

>And Dash confirms this as your fingers brush past her clit

>"Ooooh yeah, that's it." Dash purrs tightening her grip on her hair and rocking her hips a little faster "Keep going Anon"

>You oblige moving your fingers down to her slit

>You've officially reached unknown territory in more ways than one

>You tentatively trace the length of her folds and hear a sharp intake of breath from Dash

>"A-Anon....don't stop." Dash groans rocking into you more and pulling your head up for from her neck for a kiss

>You comply focusing on teasing Dash's slit and tweaking her nipple with your other hand

>You can feel her moan into the kiss

81

>You keep up the attention on Dash

>Her nipples are still her weakness

>Every time you tweak or pinch the one in your hand you can feel her tremble and gasp

>Each time she does it drives you crazy

>You start trying to move your own hips in time with Dash's

>You brush your thumb against her clit again and you feel Dash's body stiffen and the muscles in her ass clench around you

>The pressure is incredible

>She bites your lower lip again

>Shit that was so hot

>"You're...good with...you fingers." She breaths huskily "B-but I...want to...see...what they." She pauses and plants small kiss on your lips

"Can do inside me."

>You've never been harder in your life

>Slowly you trace down Dash's slit until you find her entrance

>You prob it experimentally, feeling feeling a bead of wetness roll down you finger

>"A-Anon please." Dash pleads "I need this."

>That's all it takes

>Carefully you slide one finger into her

>She's wet enough that's there's no resistance

>"Oh yeah, that's the stuff." Dash hums with pleasure

>You start to move your finger

>You can feel her walls tighten around your digit

>She's so tight

>You increase the pace as Dash pulls you in for another hungry kiss

>It feels like every time you pull back her pussy doesn't want to let you go as it grips your finger

>You keep going at a steady pace

>Then when you feel like you have a grasp on what she likes you tentatively slip in another finger

>Dash's moan goes up by several octaves and you fear she might wake the others

>But you've come too far to care now

82

>You speed up a little more

>Pumping your fingers in time with the rocking of your hips

>Dash starts writhing more in your lap

>You move to get a better grip

>Inside her your fingers curl a bit reflexively

>Dash's eyes go wide and she lets out her loudest moan yet into your mouth

>Your heart skips a beat

>You break the kiss with Dash panting and scour the the dark room with your eyes

>Thank every god that's listening but somehow none of the girls seemed to hear that

>You figure the alcohol must have done it's work pretty well

>But damn something about almost getting caught made you even harder

>"Anon please" Dash mewls in your ear "Don't stop, I'm so close"

>You could feel your own climax starting to build too

"Me too Dash." You breath heavily "But I wanna try something, hold on a sec."

>Slowly you pull from fingers from her dripping pussy

>Dash whimpers in your ear once they're gone

>Then you slide your dick from between her cheeks

>Carefully you maneuver yourself between her legs

>Your tip grazes against her entrance and she lets out a gasp

>"Anon we..."

"Don't worry Dash, I'm not gonna put it in." You say rubbing between her thighs slowly

>You can feel the heat of her core against you as you rub against her

>Her juices begin to coat your dick

>You move your hips a little and run your dick up her slit

>The tip of your dick bumps against her clit

>"Auuuagh" Dash groans

>You bring your free hand up to cover her mouth

>Getting almost caught was hot

>But that doesn't mean you want to tempt fate

>You feel something wet running along the length of your fingers

>Is she...licking her juices off them

>Dear lord you almost come right there

>But there's still work to be done

>You keep going pumping yourself up and down letting the pressure from Dash's thighs and the feeling of her sopping pussy drive you wild

"Dash I'm about to..."

>"Mhhph tggh" Dash moans into your hand

>With one last thrust you burst feeling Dash completely tense up against you as she follows

83

>As the last of your jizz sputters out you and Dash flop back to the floor spent

>You mind is reeling

>Did that really just happen

>Is this really life

>Is this just fantasy

>The sound of Dash's heavy breathing pulls you from your thoughts

>The sight of her nearly naked form confirms that this wasn't some kind of crazy vodka induced dream

>Fuck yeah

>You look over her for a second drinking in the sight of all your hard work

>Dash's eyes are half lidded and a little glazed

>Her tongue is lulled out of her mouth and you think you can see a trace of drool running from her mouth

>Trailing your eyes down you can see the trail of jizz across her chest with a noticeable blotch on her panties

>Something about that really turns you on

>That's when she starts coming back around

>"That was..." Dash pauses catching her breath as she turns to face you "Awesome." She smirks as she pulls you into another kiss

>You think you can still faintly detect the taste of her own juices

"Yeah..." You breath as you two pull apart "Awesome"

>Dash sits up and looks over herself

>"Aw, you got it all over my panties." Dash chides while still using that lusty whisper of hers "These were my favorite pair too, I'm gonna have to think of some way for you to pay me back now." She grins leaning over back to where you'd piled all the stuff from you pocket

"I might be able to think of something to make it up to you." You say grinning stupidly at her as she picks up your phone "Hey what are you doing?"

>"What do you think I'm doing? I'm putting my number in your phone." Dash said as she tapped away on the screen "And you better use it." She said grinning down at you as she put the phone back and kissed you again

>"Try not to dream about me too much now." She said before she finally crawled off you and headed sneakily back to her sleeping bag

>Wow

>No one will ever believe you

>Hell you don't believe that just happened

>There's only one thing weighing on you more right now

>The need to piss

84

>[YouTube] Austin Powers Peeing Scene (embed)

>Dear lord that feels amazing

>Not as amazing as what just happened with Dash

>But there really wasn't much that was gonna compare to that

>Shit man

>You just hotdogged and thigh fucked Rainbow Dash in a room full of her sleeping friends

>What even is life right now

>Your drunken mind slowly begins to process this as the nagging sense of urgency leaves you with your piss

>You become vaguely aware of the sound of thunder rumbling loudly in the distance as rain heavily patters against the window

>You don't remember anything about that in the forecast

>But whatever

>You totally just got to third base with Rainbow Dash

>Or was that an aggressive second base

>No one ever really used that metaphor past first base

>Wait

>Does this mean you're still a virgin

>You guess technically yes

>Which not gonna lie

>Kinda pisses you off

>But then you remember Dash gave you her number

>You never got girls' numbers

>The only girls' numbers in your phone were your mom, Mrs. Cake, Pinkie, and Trixie

>But now you had Dash's too

>Which means you could hit her up sometime and hopefully drop the old V-card

>But you'd need to pick up condoms first

>Investments in the future

>Though you're kind of not sure what to make of this

>Did this make you friends with benefits

>Would she be cool with you asking out other girls

>Cause you definitely still wanted that shot at Rarity

>And you still had a kind of date with Applejack

>Shit, how do people deal with shit like this all the time

>Well they probably think about it sober for one

>It's about then that you notice you stopped peeing a few seconds ago and you've just been standing there stuck in your own head

>You wash your hands and head for the door

>Might as well just sleep on this til morning

>As you step out into the hall you turn and come face to face with

"Pinkie!" You whisper scream in surprise

>"Shhh, sorry Nonny." Pinkie says a little bashfully

"What are you doing up"

85

>You are Pinkie Pie

>And you were having the bestest dream ever

>You were with Anon

>On top of a mountain made of birthday cake topped with giant marshmallows

>Anon had his arm around you and had on the biggest smile you'd ever seen

>You really loved his smile

"Hey Pinkie"

>"Yeah Nonny."

"I have something I've been meaning to ask you for a long time" He says as he takes his arm off you as he kneels in front of you

>OHMYGOLLYGOSH

>Is he really going to ask you what you think he is

"Pinkie, will you..."

>C'mon

>Say it

>SayitSayitSayit

>SAY IT!

"....Help me plan my wedding to Rainbow Dash and Trixie?"

>Huh

>What?

>WHAT?!

>The world starts to darken as Dash and Trixie show up out of nowhere and each take one of Anon's arm

>"B-b-but Dash, you don't even like Anon." You say pointing at your friend

>"That was before I found out he was such a GOOOOOD kisser."

>"And Trixie has always known what Anon likes better than you." Trixie laughs haughtily

"Don't worry though, you're totally invited to the wedding." Anon says still holding that big smile

>"And don't worry, we'll still be friends. We could probably use a babysitter real soon too." Dash says looking up at Anon with hungry eyes

>"Babysitter!?"

>"Indeed, Trixie thinks we'll certainly have a bajillion adorable babies."

>"Noooooo!" You scream as lightning strikes in the background

>The sound of thunder helps wake you from your nightmare

>You're breathing heavy

>You've never had a dream like that before

>It all felt so real

>But Nonny would never do that too you

>Right?

>You thought about the kiss he'd had with Dash earlier and your tummy felt like it was all tied up in knots now

>You look over to where he was sleeping and see he's not there and the door to the hall is open

>Maybe you should go find him

>He might get lost in the dark after all

>Yeah, that's totally why you were getting up to find him

86

>As quietly and sneakily as you can you tip toe out of the room

>Or as sneakily as you can while still being just an eensy weensy bit tipsy

>But you manage to get outside without stepping on anyone

>Now you just had to find Anon

>You look around and you notice a light coming from around the corner

>You follow it and see light peeking from beneath the bathroom door

>And hear the sound of groaning

>Mission accomplished

>Anon found

>So now what

>You listen to the sound of the storm blowing outside as you ponder what you're doing out here

>Your mind wanders back to your dream

>You'd had dreams about Anon before

>Usually they were really fun and you always woke up happy

>But why was this one so bad

>No, you knew why

>You were just afraid to admit it

>Because Anon was your best friend

>And what if he didn't like you that way

>Would he still be your friend

>You didn't want to lose him

>But then you think back to watching him kiss Rainbow Dash again

>And you start to get mad

>You didn't want other girls doing that with Anon

>That's it

>You were going to do it

>You were going to tell him

>You weren't gonna chicken out like all the other times

>Maybe it was the alcohol, but you felt way more brave than usual

>That's when the door opens and Anon walks right out in front of you

"Pinkie!" He gasps jumping back a little in surprise

>"Shhh, sorry Nonny" You say trying to keep him quiet

>If he woke anyone up and they came out you'd probably never be able say what you wanted

"What are you doing up?" He whispers back at you

>Don'ttellhimaboutthedream, Don'ttellhimaboutthedream, Don'ttellhim

>"I um, had a bad dream."

>Darn it Pinkie Pie

"Well you okay?" Anon asks scratching the back of his head "Wanna talk about it?"

>Oh Nonny

>Stop being so sweet!

>You're only making this like so much harder

>"N-no, but um, I kinda sorta wanted to talk to you....about something"

"Alright Pinks, what is it?" He says looking a little confused

>Ah, you loved when he used that nickname

87

>Okay Pinkie

>You can do this

>You can TOTALLY do this

>Just take it slow

>"So um, Nonny you uh know how we've been friends for like um a reaaaaaally long time right?"

"Yeah Pinkie, since we were kids."

>Those were great times

>You'd had Anon all to yourself

>Even if he complained when you pulled him away from his silly games and books you knew deep down he loved playing with you and just having a friend to talk to

>You miss those days

>No

>Focus Pinkie

>"Well um, it's just that we're starting to get older now and sometimes things change...and um people change too"

"Yeah, I guess." Anon says looking more confused

>Nooooo

>Why was this so hard

>You'd never had this much trouble talking to Anon before

>And now you were only getting more nervous as he just stood there waiting for you to say something

>C'mon Pinkie

>This is your chance

>You've helped run a bakery and professionally planed parties since you were a kid

>You've helped defeat magical monsters from a world full of ponies three times

>So why can't you just tell the boy you like how you feel about him

"Hey, Pinkie are you sure you're okay?" Anon finally asks putting a hand on your shoulder and leaning in a bit

>He was really close now

"You're acting kinda weird, even for you?" He says with a nervous chuckle

>Oh Anon

>You loved when he showed his softer side

>It made you feel all melty inside how he was worried about you for once

>It was usually the other way around

>But then you remember that during the Fall Formal Nonny tried to come back and save you

>If he could do that for you

>Then you could tell him how you feel

>"I'm okie dokie, it's just I want to tell you..."

>But you just can't make the words come out

>You're getting mad at yourself

>Then it hits you

>Why not show him

>As the idea forms in your head you decide to just go before your brain can talk you out of it

>"Fuck it." You say steeling yourself before you reach out both hands, grab Anon by his face, and kiss him as hard as you can

88

>You are Anon

>And you weren't sure what surprised you more

>The fact Pinkie was kissing you right now

>Or that she actually dropped the F-bomb instead of some silly replacement word

>You start to lose your footing and back up against the nearest wall

>Pinkie follows you the whole way not letting her lips leave yours even for a second

>She's got you pinned against the wall now and she's kissing you like she's trying to find the antidote

>But it wasn't so bad

>In fact it actually feel kind of incredible

>When you kissed Dash it had been nothing but hungry lust

>But Pinkie's kiss was somehow different

>Passionate?

>You don't know

>You were just kind of going with it

>You weren't sure if you should stop her or keep going

>Before you could figure out which to do Pinkie finally breaks the kiss for air

>"That was so much better than the last time." She says with an out of breath giggle

>Oh lord

>You're brain can't handle Pinkie being sexy

>Memories of those few times you'd fapped to her over the years come flooding back

>And now there was no fighting the Conflicted Boner

>He had risen

>"Um Nonny?" Pinkie says pulling you back to reality

"Yeah Pinks?" You say dumbly looking down at her

>"We won't ever stop being friends...will we?" She asks looking up at you with those big blue eyes

>What

>Where was this coming from

>Now you were totaly lost

>But the look on Pinkie's face worries you

>She looks nervous, uncertain, almost about to cry

>That's when you know what you have to do

>You cup Pinkie's face in your hands and lean your forehead against hers

"Pinkie, you may be weird, loud, crazy, and annoying sometimes, but I'm never gonna stop being your friend okay." You say giving her a big warm smile

>You see her features soften

>"Okay...and um...did you like the kiss?" She asks innocently blushing

>You can't help but laugh

"Pinkie that kiss was amazing."

>Pinkie let's out a sigh of relief

>"Good...because I wasn't done." She smirks pushing you back against the wall

89

>For a second you feel like you're 8 again

>Because Pinkie has you pinned and is kissing you again

>Only this time you're enjoying yourself a lot more

>Though not nearly as much as Pinkie

>Pinkie looks like she's having the time of her life right now

>You reach your hands down to her as and get two great big handfuls

>This ass has been tempting you since you were 12 years old

>And it feels like it was worth the wait

>Pinkie moans ecstatically into your mouth as you grab her ass

>And takes it as an invitation to jump onto you

>Locking her legs around your waist

>You have to take your mind off the kiss for a second so you don't buckle from the new weight but once you right yourself you are greeted by the unmistakable feeling of Pinkie grinding her crotch into you as you start kissing again

>But this wasn't like Dash's grinding

>Not by a long shot

>Dash's was slow and teasing

>It was a build up

>Pinkie's was fast and intense

>You could almost swear it felt like she was trying to get your dick in her by process of osmosis

>And you weren't exactly complaining with the result

>But now it was time to change things up

>You readjust your grip on Pinkie's ass earning another moan from her before you take two heavy steps and reverse your position pressing her against the wall

>Pinkie lets out a surprised gasp followed by a pleasure filled moan as you use your new position to your advantage to run a hand up from her ass to one of her tits

>You marvel at the feeling in your hand

>They have to be at least a D-cup

>And you getting your hands on them has been a long time coming

>You can feel that she's not wearing a bra under her tank top so you run your thumb over her nipple feeling it begin to stiffen

>Finally Pinkie breaks the kiss panting and moaning softly as she leans her forehead against yours

>"Oh Nonny, I've been waiting for this for so long..keep going" She pleads pressing her crotch into your lap as much as she can

>That's when remember something and groan

90

>You wanted to kick your own ass right now

>Like seriously

>You were cockblocking yourself

>For the second time tonight

>WHY DID YOU NEVER BUY CONDOMS BEFORE!!!

>....

>Actually you knew why

>But that didn't stop you from being pissed

>And Pinkie wasn't making this any easier

>She was still grinding her pussy into your bulge and had started kissing your neck

>You had to say something

"P-Pinkie..." You moan "Pinkie, we can't go any further."

>"Noooo." Pinkie whined between placing kisses on your neck "I've been waiting so long for this."

>Wait

>What?

>"We can't stop now." She pleaded reaching under your shoulders and pulling you closer forcing you to brace against the wall

>Damn Pinkie, seriously you aren't making this easy for me

"We have to Pinkie," You sigh defeated "I don't have any condoms" you say looking her in the eyes

>Pinkie just stopped what she was doing and looked at you

>Just staring blankly at you

>Then she just started giggling as she leaned up and kissed you a again

>Did she not just hear you

"Pinkie...stop..." You try to say despite Pinkie capturing your lips

>Finally she stops kissing you and looks at you with a big smile

>"But we don't have to stop silly." She says before pulling you close and whispering into your ear "Because it's a safe day for me." She says huskily

>Boner to mission control

>We have ignition

>You push Pinkie back against the wall hard, pressing your dick into her as you move your hands back to her tits and ass

>You're not going to question this

>Or really think for that matter

>Just go with it

>After about another minute or so of kissing and letting your hands roam each other's bodies Pinkie finally breaks the kiss

>"Nonny, we can't do this out here." She says slowly unwrapping her her legs from you so she can stand

>You already miss the feeling of her against you

>"Fine, pick a room, just hurry." You say gripping her ass

>"Follow the leader." She says biting her lip and taking you by the hand

91

>Pinkie quickly but silently leads you through the darkened upstairs

>As she does you can't help but think you'd always kind of expected you'd lose your virginity to her

>Shit, you guess that means you owe Mr. Cake 5 bucks now

>But you think you can live with that

>Finally Pinkie brings you to a stop at the end of the hall right next to her parent’s room

>Oh yeah, the guest bedroom

>Why didn't you think of that

>As you're thinking this Pinkie pulls you into the room and shoves you towards the large king sized bed before closing and locking the door

>As you get your balance back and sit up on the bed you see Pinkie staring right at you

>She saunters over to you slowly

>Her hips swaying with each step

>As she gets closer she reaches down and pulls her tank top up and over her head exposing her breasts

>They were gorgeous

>Part of your brain notes how her nipples, now completely stiff with lust, were at least twice the size of Dash's

>While you were being hypnotized be her tits Pinkie climbed up on the bed with you, straddling your lap and cupping your face in her hands for another kiss

>"You know Nonny." She says breaking the kiss and trailing her hands from your face down your neck and shoulders "I may not have realized you were feeling them before, but I want to make sure you really feel them tonight." She said as she reached your wrists and guided your hands up to her breasts

>You take a breast in each hand and begin to squeeze and knead the supple flesh

>Like with Dash you're taking things slow and seeing what works and what doesn't

>You're also taking your time to really enjoy this moment

>These tits had been both an object of your desire and perhaps Pinkie's greatest weapon against you over the years

>So this was payback

>And judging by the moans Pinkie was making she was more than eager to pay you back for all your years of pent up desire

>After another moment you bring her right breast to your mouth and Pinkie let's out a moan that fills the entire room

92

>As she moans Pinkie wraps her arms around your head pulling you closer to her tit as you suck and lick away at the nipple

>"Nonny, that feels sooooo good," Pinkie just about squeals

>You lips draw into a smile around the erect little bud

>You think Pinkie's nipples may be even more sensitive than Dash's

>If that was even possible

>But you were more than willing to test your theory

>With your other hand you move your fingers to her other nipple

>Starting slow you trace circles around her areola with your thumb earning a hum of approval from Pinkie

>Next you take the nipple between your thumb and forefinger and begin lightly tweaking it which gets you a long gasp from her as well

>Finally as Pinkie's grasp on your head loosens you move from her right breast to her left and take the nipple lightly between your teeth

>"Anooon" She cries in pleasure gripping your shoulder as hard as she can

>You begin alternating between nipping and sucking on her nipple as you toy with the right one with your fingers

>After another minute or so of teasing Pinkie pulls away

>She looks flushed but pleased

>"I think it's time I returned the favor." She said looking at you with hungry eyes as she crawled down off your lap and onto her knees in front of you

"Pinkie..." You gasp in anticipation as she gently pushes your legs open to give herself room

>"Just sit back and relax Nonny." She purrs as she moves her hands up to your fly and unzips it before carefully guiding your throbbing dick through hole "Wow, it's bigger than I remember it." She says with a bit of awe

>You can feel her breath on your dick and it feels...

>Wait

"What do you mean bigger than you remember?"

>Pinkie just looks back up at you with a look of embarrassment and guilt

>"O-oh, well um, you know how you get reeeeally mad when I walk into your room when you leave up your sign...."

93

FLASHBACK:

>You are Pinkie Pie

>And you were on your way to see Anon

>He'd been so busy with Football Twoadays lately so you thought you'd take him out for some fun

>Maybe go see a movie and get something yummy to eat after

>He'd totally love that

>Yeah this was totally just for him

>Not you at all

>The best part was it was a surprise

>And who didn't like surprises

>Nonny

>Nonny didn't like surprises

>But you knew you could talk him into coming

>Nonny really couldn't resist you

>So you headed up to Nonny's room and he had his door closed and his little sign up

>You really hated that sign

>Even if it was kind of funny

>You used to be able to just walk right into Anon's room when you were younger but now he almost never let you come right in

>You're just about to try knocking when you hear something

"P-Pinkie..."

>You almost let out a yelp in surprise and notice Nonny didn't close his door all the way

>Now usually you were a good friend

>You respected his privacy

>Buuuut now

>Now you kind of had to take a peek

>Just a little one would hurt right

>You sneak toward the crack in the door and look inside

>You see Anon

>He's sitting on his bed leaning against the wall

>With his shorts around his ankles and his hand...

>Oh

>Oh wow

"Oh yeah Pinkie..." He mutters

>You shouldn't be watching this

>But you can't look away

>And....is he thinking of you...while he does that

>A part of you feels kind of embarrassed

>But another part of you actually felt really happy for some reason

>but more than either of those

>You felt excited as you watched

>You couldn't look away

>You just watched as he stroked his penis occasionally mumbling your name

>After a few moments you begin unconsciously rubbing your thighs together and notice the unmistakable heat and wetness coming from your core

>Just as you start to contemplate moving a hand down you see Anon start to tense up and groan your name

>Not knowing what to do you scamper off

>The image still fresh in your head

FLASHBACKEND:

94

>Oh lord

>Why

>WHY!?

>Why did she have to see you doing that

>And worse yet she saw you doing that WHILE THINKING OF HER

>You don't even know how you can feel this mortified AND still have a boner

>Well actually looking back down at the nearly naked Pinkie between your legs explains that pretty easily

>But still you feel like you wanna die

>That is until you feel Pinkie's hand on your dick as she starts to gently stroke you

>"Aw, don't feel bad Nonny." Pinkie reassures as she slowly runs her hand up and down the length of your shaft "Because I'm here to make you feel good." In a deeper husky tone

>Wow

>You really can't believe how sexy Pinkie is like this

>Has she always secretly been like this

>"And you wanna know a secret?" Pinkie says with a wicked smile as she leans up to you still stroking your dick

>"After I saw you do that, I ran back home and played with myself thinking about you." She says dragging out the syllables on the last three words

>Dick Status: The Diamond is Unbreakable

>"So Nonny, I always wondered..." Pinkie said locking eyes with you as she stopped playing with your dick "What were you thinking about me doing when you were playing with yourself?"

>Oh lord

>And you thought Dash was a tease

>This was just criminal

"Pinkie..." You groan "I was thinking of you..."

>"Yes Nonny?" She giggles lustily watching you squirm

>"Giving me a blowjob." You say truthfully

>Or at least you think it's true

>You can't remember and really would like a blowjob

>Like right now

>Pinkie just smiles up at you

>"Then lets make that dream come true...for both us us" Pinkie mutters the last part to herself before leaning back down and planting a kiss on the tip of your dick

>You let out a slight moan at the contact of her soft lips

>Then she moves down slowly running her tongue along the length of your shaft before coming back up

>The feeling is incredible

>You can't take your eyes off her as watch her tongue coat as much of your dick as it can in saliva

95

>Pinkie's attention to detail is amazing

>She was methodical

>Slowly but surely she ran her tongue up and down every inch of your shaft stopping each time at the head with a ghosting flick of her tongue

>The anticipation was killing you as you gripped the sheets waiting for her to finally take you inside her mouth

>"Y'know Nonny." Pinkie breathed hotly against your eager member as she began lightly stroking again "It doesn't taste very sweet, but I think I still like it."

>At that moment your mind has a brief flash of clarity

>Not that long ago you were rubbing your dick against Dash's ass and pussy

>The same dick that Dash had coated in her pussy juice when she orgasmed all over your lap

>Pinkie had just spent the last few minutes cleaning Dash off your dick

>With her tongue

>And now was hardly the time to tell her

>You felt like the biggest scumbag ever

>Not just because of that

>But because right now, the thought of that made this feel a hundred times hotter to you

"Pinkie please..." You moan as she begins toying with the tip with her thumb

>"Please what Nonny?" She asked playfully feigning ignorance

"Please, just start sucking it already." You beg looking her right in her big blue eyes

>Pinkie just giggles "Well since you said the magic word." And with that she raises up and take you into her mouth

> [YouTube] Ode To Joy | Muppet Music Video | The Muppets (embed)

>The feeling was incredible

>Hot

>Warm

>Enveloping

>You were in a realm of pure joy and she wasn't even that far past the head

>Pinkie even seemed to be loving it as you felt the vibration of her moan run through your dick as she began bobbing her head up and down as she became accustomed to how much of your phallus she could take in at once

>Slowly you managed to unclench one of your hands from the sheets and brought to rest on Pinkie's head feeling her soft, poofy, and now disheveled hair between your fingers as she hummed her approval

96

>With a little bit of gentle easing from you it's not long before Pinkie makes her way to the base

>You let out a moan of satisfaction as Pinkie holds there for a few seconds before pulling back up for some air

>She looks up at you with a look of pure accomplishment as her eyes water slightly and a small strand of saliva strings itself from her lips to your dick

>"Well Nonny?" She says a little out of breath "Is it everything you hoped for?"

"It's amazing Pinkie." You say brushing a loose strand of hair out of her face wondering if she'd always looked this beautiful "Just please keep going." You urge

>She just smiles up at you and starts stroking you again

>"Oh don't worry Nonny, I'm not stopping until I get a taste of your special whipped cream." She says huskily as licks her lips

>She immediately goes back to work taking half of you in at once as she begins bobbing faster than before

>You can hardly take it

>You are moaning out loud now

>And that only seems to be spurring Pinkie on

>She's even lightly massaging your balls now with her hand

>It's altogether too much

>You can feel your orgasm building

"Pinkie, I'm close." You groan moving both of your hands to her head

>She pulls off your dick moving a hand to replace her mouth as she keeps up the pace she'd been sucking with

>"That's it Nonny! Give it to me!" Pinkie demands before latching back onto your dick and taking you in as far as she can

>That was it

"Pinkie!" You moan as you bury your hands in her hair as your load erupts into Pinkie's mouth

>She holds on for as long as she could but after a few second she pulls back letting the last few spurts hit her face and tits

>Pinkie just sits there for a second her mouth and eyes tightly shut before she finally swallows your load in one big gulp

>As her eyes flutter open she looks up at you breathing heavily

>"It tastes kinda funny, but I think it will grow on me." She grins proudly as she cups her breasts and leans down to lick them clean of your seed

97

>You felt completely drained

>You had no idea Pinkie could be this sexy

>But just one glance of Pinkie hungrily lapping up the globs of spooge from her tits was more than enough to breath life back into your dick

>When she's done she just looks up at you with those lust filled eyes and licks her lips getting one last dollop of cum as it trickled down from her cheek

>"That was fun, but I think it's time for the real party to start" She said standing up and pulling you into another kiss

>As you deepen the kiss you run your hands down along Pinkie's body until you reach her glorious hips

>Carefully you hook your thumbs into the waist band of her shorts and pull them down until they pool at Pinkie's feet

>Breaking the kiss Pinkie locks eyes with you

>The look of pure longing in them drives you wild as she steps out of her short now standing there in just a pair of pink panties

>"You like what you see?" She asks turning around and bending over to present her ass to you

>You see on the back of the panties in big black letters is written PARTY GIRL

"Why don't you come over here and see for yourself" You say giving Pinkie a playful slap on the ass which drew a deep moan from her

>Oh Nonny that felt good" She mewled as she sashayed back to you

>Now that you got another look at them you could see the front of her panties were completely soaked through

>She was ready for this

>Feeling more than a little playful and adventurous you pulled her close and began kissing down her body feeling her tense as she gasped in anticipation as you slowly moved lower and lower stopping just above her panties

>Once there you took the waist band in your teeth smelling and tasting the faint traces of Pinkie's wetness against them as you pulled them down

>"N-Nonny" Pinkie moan "I'm ready" She gasped as you pulled them down far enough for them to fall to the floor

>As soon as they were off you pulled Pinkie down on top of you and into another kiss rolling with her on the bed

98

>After a few minutes of rolling around on the bed and kissing each other you finally find yourself on top of Pinkie

>She gazes up at you with a look of eager anticipation as she lays back and opens her legs for you

>It was time

>You get up on your knees and ready your dick at Pinkie's entrance feeling its heat and wetness against your tip

"Okay Pinkie, you sure you're ready for this?" You ask

>Pinkie just bites her lip and nods giving you a pleading "Mmmmhmm"

>Okay, here goes nothing

>You go slowly as you push the tip into her watching as she tenses at the intrusion

>You can already feel her insides clamping down on you as Pinkie lets out gasps and moans the more you push in

>"A-Anon, please...keep going." Pinkie moans reaching up and grabbing your shoulders

>You could tell she was feeling it, it had been years since she'd called you by your real name and wasn't mad at you

>You speed up the pace just a bit until finally you're all the way in

>Pinkie lets out a long sigh and you watch as her breasts heave up and down as she tries to maintain her breathing

>Finally she looks back up at you and moves her hands to your cheeks

>"Don't move just yet." She says sounding completely out of breath "I just want to stay like this for a little while"

>You feel like your heart just melted as you gaze into her eyes

>You just stay like that for a few moments feeling Pinkie grip your dick at the subtlest movement

>"O-okay, I think I'm...ready for you to go." Pinkie says giving you a warm smile

"Alright Pinks, I'll try to be gentle." You say returning her smile

>"N-not too gentle I hope." She say playfully winking and sticking her tongue out at you only to moan when she feels you twitch inside her

>You start to pump in and out at a steady rate getting used to feeling of resistance inside her as her pussy clenches around you every time you pull back

>The feeling is incredible

>Combined with Pinkie's moans of pleasure you think you might be in Heaven

99

>After a couple of minutes of the two of you getting used to the feeling you decide to pick up the speed

>Pinkie begins to writhe under you moaning more wildly as you pick up the pace

>You're glad the guest room is on the far end of the house

>You should have figure Pinkie for being a bit of a screamer, but wow this was a bit overkill

>Still was hot though

>Like seriously you could listen to her moan like this all day

>You're pulled from the thought of Pinkie' moan by the motion of her breasts

>You watch as they sway and bob in time with your thrust

>It was almost hypnotic

>You lean down bracing yourself with one hand as the other moves to capture one of Pinkie's bouncing breasts

>You squeeze and massage the soft flesh doing your best to focus your attention on both your thrusts and toying with her boob

>Once you're confident you can manage both you lean in further and start kissing and nipping at Pinkie's neck

>That really sets her off as she moans your name loudly wrapping her arms around your head and her legs around your waist plunging you even deeper into her

>"That's it Nonny more. Don't stop." She gasped as you started thrusting again barely pulling out of her before thrusting back in "And keep playing with my cupcakes!"

>Wait

>What?!

"Keep playing with your what?" You manage to mumble out against her neck despite her tight grip on your head

>Pinkie blushes a bit and looks away bashfully

>"I-I mean my boobs...I um, call them...cupcakes." She said unable to meet your eyes

>You can't help but smile and begin thrusting once again drawing a yelp of surprise from Pinkie

>She may have surprised you with her sexy side tonight

>But she was still the same old Pinkie

>But she did give you an idea

"Hey Pinkie, wanna try something else?" You ask nipping once more at her neck

>"Oh, what Nonny?" She asked looking down at you with a mix of confusion and want

"I think I know a position you'll really like." You grin pushing yourself back up

100

>Pinkie blushes but nods

>"Okay Nonny." She says leaning up to kiss you "What do you wanna try?"

"Okay, I want you to get up, turn around and get on your hands and knees." You whisper into her ear before giving it a nibble feeling a tremble run through her body and she tightened around your dick

>Pinkie catches on to what you're planning and gives you a lusty smile

>"Nonny, you're so naughty." She grins

"I don't think you're in a position to be saying that." You laugh

>"Not yet at least." She giggles

>Dear lord

>If this is a dream you pray you're in a coma

>You pull yourself out of Pinkie earning a whimper from her before she moves to follow her advice

>Soon you have Pinkie there in front of you

>On all fours

>With DAT ASS presented

>Just for you

>You can't help but reach out and fondle one of her big pillowy cheeks

>"Oh, c'mon Nonny, stop teasing me." Pinkie moans pressing leaning her ass back towards you

>You can't help yourself

>You pull the hand that was groping her back and give the cheek a good slap

>This time Pinkie's moan was louder, longer, and much happier

>You grin as you lean forward and whisper into Pinkie's ear

"See, I told you you'd like this position." You chuckle before getting ready to line yourself up

>For a second you look at Pinkie's welcoming hole and spy her asshole

>The thought occurs that right now you could stick right in there

>....

>Nah, You weren't going to do that to Pinkie for her first time

>Plus a small voice in the back of your head reminds you Dash's ass still had a date with your dick

>So you position your dick at Pinkie's still wet entrance and push in earning a long hum of pleasure as you push back in

>There's far less resistance this time

>But it's still just as tight

>You grab hold of Pinkie's hips and begin pulling her into you as your thrust

>This feels so much better

>You've got more leverage and once you've gotten used to the motion you run one of your hands up to her breasts

101

>You take her tit in your hand and squeeze listening to Pinkie pant as she starts moving her hips back into you on her own

"Y'know Pinkie" You say moving your other hand up to her other breast "All those times you offered me cupcakes were you really talking about these?" You tease giving both tits a firm squeeze

>Pinkie moans loudly again pressing her ass into as much as she can

>"M-maybe on-once or twice." She manages to giggle while panting "If I'd kn-known you'd li-like them so much I would have offered you them m-more often"

>You can't help but laugh at that

>Yeesh, how Pinkie could make jokes right now was beyond you

>But once you collect yourself you get back to the task at hand

>And speaking of hands you run one down back to Pinkie's ass and giving it another smack as you thrust into her

>Pinkie squeals at the sensation throwing her head back

>"Ooooh Nonny that feels soooo good" She moans "More, please spank me more."

>Well who were you to argue with that

>You keep up your current pace while throwing in the occasional smack to Pinkie's ass watching as she writhes more and more with each following slap

>It isn't long before you can feel another climax building

"Pinkie, I'm getting close." You groan moving both your hands down to Pinkie's hips to get a better hold

>"Me too Nonny." Pinkie moan as she leans forward and grips the sheets

>You give a few move quick thrusts and one more smack on her ass before you feel her go rigid and tighten up against you as she cums

>"Anooon." She moans as her legs reach back behind you and pull you all the way inside her at the moment of climax

>That sends you over too as you fire your load deep inside her

>It takes a couple of minutes for the fireworks to subside, but finally Pinkie unclenches her legs and lets you slide out of her

>The 2 of you cuddle together on the bed

>Pinkie is barely conscious but but she nuzzles herself into your chest before whispering

>I...love...you...Nonny." Before passing out

>Well Fuck

102

>There are few moments where one experiences true clarity

>But laying here

>In bed with Pinkie

>As the teenage hormones subsided and the blood began returning to your vodka hazed mind

>You realized something

> [YouTube] NOW YOU FUCKED UP (embed)

>Shit just got real

>Like existential crisis real

>Pinkamena Diane Pie

>Your oldest and dearest friend

>Just confessed her love to you

>After you'd taken her virginity

>After you'd just thigh fucked one of her best friends

>In her room

>While she was asleep

>And if that wasn't enough to fuck with you there was also the fact you had no idea how to respond to any of this

>Seriously

>You never saw this coming

>Hell an hour ago she was just one of two girls who actually talked to you of their own free will

>You should have seen this coming the moment she started saying weird shit when you ran into you outside the bathroom

>But you were still to busy thinking about what happened with Dash

>And then she kissed you and your boner took control

>Well you knew two things

>One you really needed a smoke right now

>And two, you needed to piss

>Again

>So with the same care one would reserve for defusing a live bomb you painstakingly wiggle your way out of the sleeping Pinkie's grasp and sneak out of the room

>One ungodly long alcohol piss later you quietly stumble back into Pinkie's room

>You are legitimately surprised to find all the girls are still asleep

>You were pretty sure Pinkie's moans could have woken life on Mars

>But you decide to count your blessing as you grab your smokes and head downstairs

>As things come back into focus you realize the sound of rain from earlier has picked up

>Fuck, whatever, you'll run under a tree if you have to

>You need this smoke right now

>Your plans are crushed though as you reach the patio door

>You look out to see it is coming down like a hurricane out there

>You were surprised the back yard wasn't flooding by now

>Fuck

>You turn to walk back and find Trixie glaring at you

103

"Trixie!?" You almost shout in surprise stumbling back a little "Fuck, just about gave me a heart attack there Trix" You say clutching your chest as you regain your footing

>Trixie doesn't say anything

>She just stands there

>Dead-eyeing you

>Not saying anything

>Okay

>This might be bad

"Uh Trix...you okay?" You ask

>You've seen Trixie get mad before

>But usually never at you

>"I woke up and saw you weren't in the room Anon" She finally says

>Fuck

>You barely had your head on straight right now

>You hadn't even thought of coming up with an alibi

"Wh-what? Oh yeah well you know how I get when I drink, right? Can't sleep and always pissing" You say scratching the back of your head nervously "After the last trip to the bathroom I thought I'd grab a smoke to wind down, but it's fucking pouring out there now"

>There's a pause as she keeps staring at you

>"Then why is Pinkie not in her bed?" She asks crossing her arms

>Shit

>You forgot about Pinkie

>But still what was up with Trixie?

>Why was she giving you the third degree all of a sudden

>You love her to death but you wouldn't even be in this mess if she hadn't wanted to come to this fucking thing

>Shit, you don't even want to think about the L word right now

>Just say something already and try to think of a way out of this

"Pinkie's not in her bed?" You say trying to sound surprised "Maybe she went to use the bathroom after I came down."

>Fuck

>That was bad

>And it didn't look like Trixie bought it at all

>"Damn it Anon stop." She says throwing down her arms angrily "Don't lie to me." She says stepping right up to you "You were with her, I know it."

>Oh no

>This can't be happening

>This can't be fucking real

>You'll wake up any minute now with a hangover tomorrow morning

"Trixie I..." You start to say but Trixie cuts you off

>She reaches up and grabs you and pulls you into a kiss pushing you back and forcing you to stumble backwards towards the living room

>Whether you like it or not this is happening

104

>You are The Great and Powerful Trixie

>And the sound of thunder just woke you up

>You grumble sitting up for a second to get your bearings

>You could still feel the vodka muddying your thoughts a bit as you remind yourself that you're at Pinkie's sleepover

>With Anon

>In fact you start to remember that you weren't that far from where his spot on the floor was

>An idea pops into your head and it may be thanks to the alcohol but you're feeling a bit more brave than usual

>If you're quiet enough maybe you could sneak over and cuddle up to Anon

>It would feel so nice and send a good message to the girls like Pinkie and Rarity to back off come morning

>And he probably wouldn't mind

>Especially since he spent most of the night letting Fluttershy do that to him earlier

>But that didn't matter

>Now was your time

>That's when you look over and see that Anon isn't there

>Probably off taking a piss

>Alcohol always goes right through him after all

>But then you notice something that makes your heart sink

>Across the room you see Pinkie's bed

>Empty

>You know you shouldn't worry

>Sure she's known Anon longer

>But you know him better

>You always have

>Everything is probably fine

>That's when you hear someone coming

>You throw yourself back under your covers and pretend to be asleep

>As they stumble in you hear a few mumbled curses

>It's Anon

>Peeking just a little you see him bend down and grab his smokes and lighter

>He looks disheveled, worn out, and a bit sweaty

>You feel a knot start to form in your stomach

>You start to think about Pinkie again

>She may not want to say it out loud, but you know she feels the same way you do about Anon

>You always thought that you'd be able to confess to him before she decided to accept her feeling

>But now

>Now you were afraid you were too late

105

>That was it

>You had to talk to him

>You needed him to tell you that you were wrong and say something goofy and sarcastic like he always did

>So quietly you stood up and slunk out of Pinkie's room

>The hall was faintly lit by the light from the bathroom, which had it's door hanging wide open

>The fact Pinkie was nowhere to be seen was not lost on you and only served to make you both nervous and angry

>You just manage to catch a glimpse of Anon as he heads down the stairs and quietly move to follow

>As you follow him you can't help getting even more angry

>Mad at Pinkie for possibly ruining your chances with him

>Mad at Anon for never treating you like how he treated Pinkie

>And mad at yourself for not working up the nerve to tell him how you felt

>All this rage just started bubbling to the surface until you found Anon standing in front of the patio door with his shoulder's slumped in defeat as he stared out into the heavy rain

>He didn't even notice you walk right up to him until he turned to walk away

"Trixie!" He shouts falling back a little in surprise "Fuck, you just about gave me a heart attack there Trix"

>Usually you'd love when he'd use that nickname

>But right now you couldn't shake your sense of anger

>So you just stare at him

"Uh Trix...you okay?" He finally asks after a few long moments of glaring at him

>"I woke up and saw you weren't in the room Anon." You say simply

>There were million different things you felt like you wanted to say to him

>But you kept it simple

>To see what he had to say

106

>You try not to notice his eyes go a bit wide before he answers you

"Wh-what? Oh yeah well you know how I get when I drink, right? Can't sleep and always pissing" he says laughing nervously "After the last trip to the bathroom I thought I'd grab a smoke to wind down, but it's fucking pouring out there now"

>Now Anon was a good liar

>You'd seen him bullshit his way out of more than a few situation

>Which is why it hurt so much that he was doing such a bad job lying to you right now

>It hurt

>But you weren't going to call him out on it

>Yet

>You owed him at least one more chance to tell you the truth

>"Then why is Pinkie not in her bed" You ask looking him right in the eyes

>That got a reaction out of him

>He looks like he's thinking about what to say next

>Please

>Just tell me the truth

>Or at the very least deny it

>It might hurt more, but part of you just want him to tell you there's nothing to worry about

>To tell you that you still had a chance

"Pinkie's not in her bed?" He says feigning surprise "Maybe she went to the bathroom after I came down."

>Really

>You can tell by the look on his face even he knows how bad that was

>He wasn't going to tell you

>You didn't know why

>But fine

>If that's how he wanted it, you'd just make him tell you

>"Damn it Anon stop." You say throwing your arm down to your side and clenching your fists "Don't lie to me." You step right up to him feeling the anger welling up faster, you can't even stop yourself before you let the last part slip "You were with her, I know it."

>Oh no

>No

>You said it

>There's no way he could not pick up on why you'd say that

>And you see him make the realization too

>He looks shocked

>Confused

>And maybe afraid

>And you can't take it back

>This is it

"Trixie I..." You can't let it happen like this, you have to do something to save this

>So you reach up and pull him down into a kiss

>Please let this work

107

>You are Anon

>You are completely off balance as the two of you stumble into the living room

>Trixie refuses to let go or break the kiss so you are having to focus on both her grip on your face and trying to stay on your feet

>Your mind is still reeling from everything that's happened in the last few minutes

>You can hardly tell up from down anymore

>And that's when you smack into the arm of the couch and fall backwards

>You instinctively grab hold of Trixie so that she doesn't hurt herself and end up pinned under her as you fall back onto the sofa

>Trixie is still kissing you and you don't know what to do

>Until now you'd just been going with the flow

>But now you'd manage to pull your head out of your ass just enough to realize that this is bad

>And even though it might be too late you have to try and stop this from at least getting worse

"Trixie...stop...please" You manage to get out trying to break the kiss and push her away without hurting her

>"No...all...you...think...about...is Pinkie." She says between kisses "You....never...think...about...how I...feel" She says finally breaking the kiss and sitting up straddling you

>That's not true

>How long has she been thinking that

>Right now there's a million things running through your head that you want to say or ask her

>But you can't get a single one to come out before she pulls off her t-shirt to reveal a plain white bra

>"So now I'm just going to have to show you" She says with determination despite a faint quiver in her voice

>As she leans in for another kiss you put your hands on her shoulders to try and stop her

"Wait Trixie" You say wracking your brain for something to get her to stop "I don't have any condoms"

>A look of irritation passes across her face "Did Pinkie care that you didn't have any?" She asks angrily

"What? No, I mean..."

>That only seems to make her madder as she fights against you now "It doesn't matter okay, I'm on the pill anyway." She says sounding more determined

108

"Trix c'mon, this is a bad idea" You plead

>You suddenly feel all of the fight go out of her

>She stops struggling against your arms and sits back

>You look up to see her shoulders slump as she hangs her head no longer looking you in the eyes

>You hear a faint sniffle

>Trixie looks back up at you with tears welling at the corners of her eyes

>"What's wrong with me? Is it my body? Am I not pretty enough? Tell me, why won't you pay attention to me just this once?" She says her voice quivering

>Fuck

>It feels like your heart is breaking

>You have to do something

>You can't stand to see her like this

>You push yourself up into a seated position and pull her close to you

>She resists at first but you don't let her go

>She slowly starts to give in and accepts the embrace, lightly sobbing into your shoulder as you stroke her hair

>You stay like that for a little bit letting her get it all out before you finally decide to speak

"Trixie." You start to say trying to pick your words with care "There's nothing wrong with you. You're perfect just the way you are and I'd never want you to change." You say as you lean back so you can look into her eyes

>They're red from tears, but both are fixed right on you

"You and Pinkie are my best friends and I'd never try to put one of you over the other. You're both too special to me." You say moving your hands to her shoulders and giving them a reassuring squeeze

>"Then please Anon, just for tonight I want you to make me feel special." She says looking at you pleadingly with her lavender eyes

>You sigh

"Trixie I don't think..."

>"Please, just this one time." She says moving her hands up to cup your face

>You know this is a bad idea

>There's going to be no going back from this

>Your brain is screaming no

>But you can't stand to see her like this

>You lean forward resting your forehead against hers

"Are you sure this is really what you want?" You ask

>She gives you a sincere smile "More than anything Anon"

"Okay Trixie" you sigh

109

>The two of you just sit there staring into each other's eyes for a few moments

>Neither one of you really knowing if you should be the one to start

>In a weird fucked up way this kind of reminds you of how you first met Trixie

>Two awkward nerds siting alone together at lunch, both too nervous to say anything to one another

>Finally you bring a hand up to cup her cheek and lean into a kiss

>It's not like before

>This time you're both calmer

>Gentler

>You decide you'll let Trixie set the pace as you let your arms travel down to the small of her back

>After about a minute or so Trixie starts to deepen the kiss

>The way she kisses is different from Dash and Pinkie

>Where as Dash kissed hungrily and Pinkie's were full of repressed passion, Trixie kissed you slowly

>Carefully

>Like she's afraid to make a mistake

>She picks up the pace slowly as she gets used to what she's doing

>She brings her hands up to the back of your head while pulling herself closer to you

>After a few more moments you break the kiss to breath

>Trixie looks at you with a faint but innocent smile

>"That was great Anon." She says untangling her fingers from your hair "But you don't have to hold back okay." She says reaching behind her back to undo the clasp on her bra and letting it slide off her shoulder "I want you to touch me." Her hands reach down to behind her to your wrists and guide the up to her breast

>You take a second to appreciate Trixie's modest bust

>She was bigger than Dash's, that was for sure

>They fit in your hands perfectly

>You start playing with them

>Slowly and gently as you lean in to kiss Trixie's neck

>She moans as you fondle and caress them

>You feel her hips start to gyrate against you

>You begin to play with her nipples drawing a long sigh of pleasure

>She pulls your head from her neck and pulls you into another kiss as she falls back towards the couch reversing your earlier position as she wraps her legs around your waist

110

>As the kiss deepens you move one of your hands down to grope Trixie's pajama clad ass

>While it wasn't anywhere near as big as Pinkie's, Trixie made up for the size of her bust with her impressive hips

>Feeling you start to become more adventurous seemed to spur Trixie on as well

>She seems less cautious in her kissing and begins more actively grinding into you

>After a few more moments you pull away from the kiss and start trailing kisses down her neck towards her breasts

>Trixie moans as you take her nipple into her mouth and tightens her legs around your waist

>Gentle you tease the nipple with your mouth

>Licking and sucking it

>As Trixie continues to moan and writhe under you slip your hand past the waist band of her pj bottoms and get a handful of her pantie covered ass

>Trixie moans again before getting your attention "A-Anon, sl-slow down...stop"

>You stop dead in your tracks and look up at her afraid you've done something wrong

>But Trixie just smiles down at you

>Slowly she pushes you back up to a seated position and plants a light kiss on your lips

>"You're making me feel so good, but now I want to return the favor." She says moving her hand down to rub the bulge that had begun to form in your pants

"Tr-Trix..." You moan at the sensation "Y-you don't have to..."

>"I know I don't have to Anon." She says as wave of confidence seems to wash over her as she sees the effect she's having on you "But I want to." She says before kissing you again

>With one hand she pulls down your zipper and frees your dick

>As she kisses you she starts stroking your dick

>Her movements are gentle but deft

>neither too fast or too slow

>She breaks the kiss and looks down at it

>Her eyes widen and she lets out a faint gasp

"Everything alright Trix?" You ask as she ceases her stroking

>This seems to pull Trixie from her thoughts as she tries to get back into her confident persona

>"O-of course, just getting used to...seeing the real thing is all. I'm fine, really."

111

>Trixie snaps herself out of her nervousness and puts on confident front again as she begins stroking you again while leaning in to kiss your neck

>"Anon would you like to see magic trick?" She whispers to you as she pulls away from your neck

>You're confused until you see her lean down on her hands and knees

"Trixie..." You moan as you feel her breath against your tip

>"Prepare to see The Great and Powerful Trixie make this wand disappear" She says leaning down a little more and placing a kiss on the head of your dick before taking it into her mouth

>You groan as you feel her envelope you and begin lightly bobbing up and down

>For the second time tonight you realize a girl is sucking your dick while it was still coated by another girl's juices

>Except this time you don't think it's hot

>You just feel more like a scumbag even through all the pleasure

>Trixie begins trying to take more of you into her mouth but it doesn't seem easy for her

>As she tries to go down more than halfway she begins to sputter and pulls herself trying to catch her breath

>"A minor setback but don't worry Trixie can master any trick" Trixie coughs while wiping a stray bit of drool

>You feel bad

>She's trying so hard

>You reach over and place a hand on her cheek

"Trixie, you don't have to force yourself to do this" You say

>"No Anon, I want to do this" Trixie insists taking your hand in hers looking up at you with determination in her eyes "Please just let me try again"

>You sigh, but give her a warm smile

"Okay Trix, but just take it slow okay." You say at least trying to make it easier on her "It already felt really good"

>Trixie blushes as she lets go of your hand and leans back down

>Your dick is at full attention by now as she starts blowing you again

>This time she's going slower

>Gradually taking more of you into her mouth as she gets comfortable while still stroking you with her hand

>It feels incredible and you can't help but moan her name as she makes it halfway again

112

>Trixie continues her ministrations for a few more moments

>She manages to get nearly to the base before pulling herself off

>She grins up at you with a look of accomplishment on her face while lightly stroking you

>"Well it looks like you're ready now" She says leaning back on the couch and hooking her fingers into the waistband of her pj bottoms and panties before pulling them down and off "And so am I" She said opening her legs enough to see her glistening slit nestled just below a strip of white pubic hair

>You gulp looking down at Trixie as she beckons you to join her

>You move closer

>You take one of her legs in your hand for leverage as your other hand guides your dick towards her entrance

>You can feel the heat radiating from her as your tip hovers millimeters from her wet folds

"Last chance Trixie" You say looking down into her half lidded lavender eyes "Are you sure you still want this?"

>Your tone is serious

>Trixie just reaches up and wraps her hand around your neck

>"More than anything" She says leaning up to kiss you one more time

>That was it then

>Slowly you ease your hips forward pressing the tip into her

>Trixie takes sharp intake of breath as you push inside of her and you give an almost matching groan

>She was tight

>Tighter than Pinkie

>Hell she may have even been tighter than Dash

>And you can tell as you begin to push further in that you're going to have to be gentler with her than you were with Pinkie

>You weren't even a third of the way inside her yet

>You look down to see Trixie's eyes are screwed shut

"Trixie are you okay?" You ask leaning down so you can meet her eyes "Do you want me to stop for a minute?"

>Trixie opens her eyes with the same look of determination from earlier

>"No Anon keep going" She says "This much is nothing for The Great and Powerful Trixie" She declares

>Despite what she says you can tell she's about on the verge of tears

>So you lean down and kiss her tenderly

>You hope it takes her mind off the pain

113

>You feel Trixie begin to relax a little under you

>You're glad

>You continue the kiss for a while longer staying as still as possible

>Then, once you are sure you're not going to hurt her you begin pumping in just a little more

>Trixie breaks from the kiss and whimpers just a bit, but she doesn't seem to be in as much discomfort as before

>She moves her hands from your neck to your shoulders gripping them tightly as you continue to slowly easy into her

>You decide to keep trying to keep her mind off the discomfort

>You lean down and begin kissing your way down her neck

>You still hear Trixie whimper as you slowly inch into her, but now they're also interspersed with moans of pleasure

>Trixie's eyes screw shut again as you make it just past halfway in

>You can feel her walls tightening around you and can't help but moan yourself

>You weren't sure if it was because this was her first time or if she was just naturally this tight

>But the feeling of her warm wet walls gripping you like this was something else

>You move the path of your kisses down to her collarbone stopping just before the slight curve of her breasts

>You hear her let out a long pleasure filled sigh as she tilts her head back and arches her back

>The sigh is cut short by a gasp as the motion moves you further inside her

>You move your mouth down to one of her breasts taking the erect bud of her nipple between your lips to try to ease the pain away again

>"A-Anon" She moans after a few moments of you sucking on her nipple

>You look up to see her gazing down at you

>"Please, kiss me again." She pleads

>You comply leaning back up to capture her lips again

>She's tense but the kissing seems to help

>You go a bit further in before she breaks the kiss, "Anon stop" She gasps "I'm sorry, but I can't take anymore." A tear runs down her cheek "I'm so sorry."

"Trix"

>"I-I thought I could do more"

"Trix" You reach a hand up to wipe away the tear as you nod downwards

>You were already all the way in

114

>Trixie looks down to where the two of you are connected and blinks for a sec

>"I-I did it?" She whispers in surprise

"You did it" You say warmly

>You watch as Trixie's expression morphs from crestfallen to elated as she pulls you in for a hug

>"I did it!" She squeals triumphantly only to wince as you inadvertently shift inside her from the movement

"Yeah, Trixie, you're doing great" You assure her as you ease her back down onto the couch

>"Th-thanks Anon" Trixie says staring back up into your eyes

"So..." You say after a few moments "You ready for me to start moving?"

>Trixie begins to look sheepish

>"Of course Anon, Trixie is more than ready to truly begin."

>You try not to roll your eyes

>You can tell she's started to relax a little, but is still getting used to the sensation

"Alright, but I'm gonna take it slow at the beginning." You say getting ready to move "If that's okay with you."

>Trixie just blushes and looks away for a second "Of course it's okay...thank you" she whispers the last part

>Slowly you begin easing yourself in and out of Trixie

>Only moving by an inch or two at a time

>Trixie gasps and tightens around you each time you pull out but slowly her gasps begin turn to pants and moans and you begin to feel her relax slightly while still clenching against you

>As she become more used to it she looks back up to you with lidded eyes

>"Anon, please..." She pleads lustily "Play with my tits again."

>You smile as you lean down and plant a light kiss on her lips while moving one hand up to toy with her breast

>You feel Trixie arch against your touch as you run your thumb in circles around her nipple

>As you continue to play with her nipple you move your other hand down from her leg to get a hold of her ass

>Trixie lets out a hum of approval and pulls you into another kiss

>This one was more intense than before, Trixie seemed more confident and eager to claim your lips now as she ran one hand through your hair and the other along your back

115

>As the kiss deepens you feel Trixie begin rocking her hips in time with your thrusts

>You feel her legs wrap around you again as she pulls herself up into your lap

>You groan into the kiss as you feel her slide down your dick taking it to the base

>You feel her walls tighten around you again as she begin lightly bounce in your lap

>She breaks the kiss and begin moaning as she rides you

>You can only try to keep pace with her as you move your other hand down to grip her ass and support her weight

>Trixie just pulls your head back to her neck wordlessly signaling for you to start kissing her neck again

>You comply and hear her let out another long pleasure filled sigh

>You feel her quicken the pace again

>Her neck must be her weak spot you think to yourself and you begin kneading her ass

>While it isn't as firm or soft as Dash or Pinkie's the softness is next to nothing

>"C'mon Anon." Trixie says as she takes in the full length of your dick once more "You can do better than that." She said with panting laugh "Or do you just like that Trixie is doing all the work?"

>It seemed that now Trixie had fully regained her confidence

>And her cockiness

>You guessed that was a good thing

>But that still didn't help the slight wound to your pride

>Well, she did ask for it

>Taking a better grip on her ass you lift her up and pull her back down while bucking up into her

>Trixie moans and tenses up gripping your shoulders tightly

>You repeat the action a few more times

>Each time drawing a longer moan from Trixie as you feel her begin to tremble against you

"What's the matter Trix?" You ask planting a few kisses along her collar bone "I thought you wanted me to start pulling my weight" you say pumping lightly into her as you spread her cheeks a little in your hands

>"A-Anon..." She gasps pulling you away from her chest and looking you in the eye

"Yes Trixie?" You ask cheekily

>"You're an ass." She says before pulling you into another kiss

116

>You begin massaging and running your hands along her ass as you kiss her

>As your hands are roaming your fingers slide down the crack of her ass grazing against her asshole

>Trixie yelps into the kiss

>You're surprised but continue the kiss returning to what you were doing

>It happens again

>This time Trixie lets out a little moan and you feel her pussy twitch

>Okay, this bears some investigating

"Trixie?" You say breaking the kiss

>"Y-yes Anon." She says blushing a little as she tries to catch her breath

"Trix, do you like it when I run my fingers along here?" You ask grazing your fingers across her asshole one more time

>Trixie gasps

>When she realizes you were looking right at her she begins to blush more and looks off to the side

>"M-maybe" She mutters "Just a little bit."

>Okay, now that was pretty adorable

"Trixie?" You say taking her chin in your hand and turning her back to look at you "Would you like me to play with your ass?"

>Trixie just looks down still blushing and mutters something

"What was that?"

>I said maybe, just a little." Trixie said still looking down bashfully

>You just smiled and planted a kiss on her forehead

"Okay Trixie, I promise to be gentle" You say as you move your middle finger to her waiting hole

>As you get ready to press in you feel her grip on your shoulders tighten again

>With great care you begin pushing in stopping at the first knuckle

>Trixie lets out a moan wrapping her arms around you and pressing herself to your chest

"You okay Trixie?" You whisper into her ear

>"Mmmhmmm." She hums into your ear "Just keep going."

>You continue pushing in further

>Trixie begins to get used to the feeling after a while

>Mewling as she started to rock back and forth taking in your finger one way and your dick another

>Even you let out the odd moan as she began to get her rhythm going

>"Anon I'm getting close." Trixie finally murmured

"Me too Trix" You breathed feeling your own climax steadily building

117

>You begin moving with her now

>Thrusting up into her in quick powerful bursts

>Trixie leans into your shoulder and stifles her growing moans into your neck as she continues to ride you

>You pull your finger out of her ass causing Trixie to gasp loudly as you move to cup your hands under her butt gripping it tightly

>You're almost there

"Trixie I'm about to..."

>You feel here legs tighten around you and she grabs your face and pulls you into one last passionate kiss

>You feel her tense up as spasm runs through her lower body

>That's when you feel yourself let loose with your load

>You both break the kiss panting heavily

>As the waves of pleasure begin to subside you gently lower her back down to the couch and pull your spent cock out of her

>You were completely drained

>You two stay like that in silence for a moment

>Only the sound of your panting filling the room as you hear the heavy rain outside

>"That was...amazing Anon..." Trixie says gazing up at you with a look of bliss "Thank you..."

>You see a lone tear trickle from her eye

>You need to say something

>And now might be your only chance

"Listen Trixie, I..."

>You're interrupted by the sound of a gasp coming from the entrance to the room

>Your head shoots up and your blood runs cold

>You see Pinkie standing there

>A look of pure shock plain across her face even in the darkness

>You watch as she brings a hand to her face covering her mouth

>"N-no." You hear her murmur before turning and running back towards the stairs

>Pinkie wait!" You call to her jump off the couch and running after her

118

>Shit

>Fuck

>No

>No no no no

>Shit just keeps going from bad to worse to fucking horrific

>And it's all your fault

>You let things get this way

>Now you had to try and fix this

>You rush up the stairs after Pinkie and see her disappear round the corner towards the guest bedroom

>You follow after her nearly tripping over your own two feet as you round the corner

>The alcohol is starting to weigh heavy on your system at this point

>Yet another thing you brought into this that is coming back to haunt you

>No time to dwell on that now

>You had more than enough guilt now as it is

>You have just enough time to see Pinkie close the door

>You hurry to the door and try to open it

>It's locked

"Pinkie open up" You say frantically twisting the knob

>"No! Go away!" You hear from the other side of the door

"Pinkie, please listen I can explain" You plead

>"No Anon! How could you do that?!"

"It's not like that, please just let me explain" You beg leaning against the door now

>"No, just go away!" It sounds like she's crying "Please, just go away Anon."

>It feels like your heart is in a vice

"Pinkie please, just open the door" There's no reply

>Part of you wants to start pounding on the door

>Bust it in and try to explain everything to her

>To try and fix this anyway you can

>But you can't do any of that without waking up the rest of the house

>So you just stand there leaning against the door

>It feels like you stand there for an eternity before you force yourself to pull away

>As much as you want to just stay there in hopes Pinkie will change her mind

>You had to check on Trixie

>You didn't have time to think when Pinkie showed up downstairs

>You just left her there

>Just another in a series shitty mistakes

>As you head back down the hall you find her leaning next to the door to Pinkie's room

>She's got her clothes back on and is staring at the floor

"Trixie I'm sorry I..." Trixe just raises a hand to stop you

119

>"You lied to me." She says hurt evident in her voice

"What, no I..."

>"For a second I actually felt special. I wanted to believe it was true." She says running a hand up and down her arm "But then Pinkie showed up and you drop everything to make sure she's okay. I guess I really am just second best when it comes to her."

>No

>Not her too

"Trixie no that isn't..."

>"Save it Anon, I'm done." She says with a defeated sigh stepping into the doorway "At least I know where I stand now" And with that she closes the door leaving you alone in the hall

>Well congrats Anon

>You finally lost your v-card

>And all it cost you was the friendship of the only two girls you ever really cared about

>You let out a growl of frustration and slam your fist into your leg

>You feel something crumple inside your pocket

>You reach inside and pull out your lighter and now badly dented pack of cigarettes

>As you stare down at them the emotional toll of everything hits you like a ton of bricks

>You have to fight back the tears

>Now you really needed a smoke

>As if to further break you a loud crash of thunder echoes outside reminding you of the raging storm

>You're just about to surrender all hope when you remember something

>Mr. Pie had a small corner of the basement reserved for him to smoke his pipe

>You could probably get away with having just on cigarette down there without anyone noticing

>So you head downstairs

120

>As you slowly trudge your way downstairs can't help but run through everything that happened tonight

>Every mistake

>Every misstep

>How could you have never noticed Pinkie or Trixie's true feelings for you

>That didn't matter now

>You just knew you had to make things right

>Think of some way to fix it

>You'd do anything if you could

>You make it to the basement without incident climbing down the rickety stair

>Thankfully Limestone left her workbench light on

>Working on her rock sculptures or whatever late into the night

>You find Mr. Pie's rocking chair in the corner sitting next to an old rusted spittoon that doubled as an ashtray and collapse into it and light up your cigarette

>You can feel the ill effects of the alcohol in your system now as you begin rocking back and forth

>You try to block it out

>Focus on your smoke as you take a long drag of your cigarette

>You've never felt this tired before in your life

>The darkness of sleep is starting to take hold of you and there's little you can do to stop it at this point

>You just give up and let it take you

> [YouTube] Supercommuter - Metal Hand - 04 (embed)

121

>That night you didn't dream

>Whether it was because of the alcohol or the whirlwind of emotions you wouldn't know

>But you spent the night enveloped in a fitful darkness

>You almost couldn't tell the difference when someone began to shake you

>"Anon, Anon, c'mon now wake up." A voice called slowly pulling you from your sleep

>You began to stir

"A-Applejack?" You groan as your eyes slowly strain to open

>Your head aches

>Your mouth and throat are drier than nun pussy

>And your stomach hated you

>No doubt about it

>You were hungover

"Shit where am I?" You ask looking around trying to get your bearings

>"You're in the basement sug', I don't know why but we been looking everywhere for you." Applejack explained taking a step back to give you room to breath

>The basement, why were you...

>That's when everything from the night before hits you like truck

>Fuck

>You didn't think you could feel any worse than you already did

>But now you do

>You go to move your hand and feel a sting in your fingers

>You look down to see the charred remnants of a cigarette filter still clutched in your fingers

>It must have burned itself out in your hand when you passed out

"Yeah...I think I must have come down here for a smoke last night and just passed out." You say carefully as you flick the burnt out nub into the spittoon

>You don't know what kind of fallout you're in for

>It's best to keep things simple

>"Well now that I found you we best be getting upstairs." Applejack said extending you a hand "Y'all're gonna wanna see this"

>You didn't like the sound of that

>You prayed it wasn't some kind of fight

>You barely felt human

>If you were going try to fix this you needed at least a few minutes to think

>You couldn't hear yelling

>That was at least a good thing

>Course the only thing you could really hear right now was the sound of the storm outside

>How was it still coming down

>You'd been out for at least a couple hours

>Whatever

>You had more important things to worry about

122

>You follow Applejack up the stairs and into the living room

>Everyone is there, even Maud and Limestone, most huddled around the couch in front of the tv

>Limestone is the first to notice the two of you come in

>"Where were you and what's with that getup?" She asks angrily as always

>It's then that you realize you were still only wearing your jeans from the night before

"It's a long story." You say dismissively

>You notice pretty much all eyes are on you

>Makes sense since you kind of pulled a disappearing act last night

>Everyone seems mostly relieved to see you

>Maud is giving you a weird look

>Well it looks like her usual blank stare, but it feels like she's eyeing you

>You don't really care

>You're focused on only two pairs of eyes

>Pinkie and Trixie

>Pinkie is looking at you with hurt evident in her eyes

>And Trixie looks like she'd been taking glaring lessons from Limestone

>It feels like your stomach just shrunk at least two sizes

>And your heart felt like it just got punched

>But now wasn't the time for feeling guilty

>Plenty of time for that later

>Now you had to figure out what was going on so you could focus on fixing shit

>Luckily everyone was too focused on you showing back up to notice Pinkie and Trixie's sudden change in moods and soon turn back to the tv

>Not sure what's so important

>You catch a glimpse of the outside through the living room window

>Fucking hell

>If it start raining any harder you're gonna need to start grabbing animals and building a boat

>That's when you realize everyone is huddled in front of the tv watching the news

>Specifically an emergency weather broadcast

>Turns out the city was being hit by the worst storm in over a decade

>Half the city was without power and the other half was under severe flood warnings

>Citizens were being advised not to leave their homes under any circumstances

>Was this even real life right now

>You wonder if it's too late to head back to the basement for a smoke

123

>Someone please stop the ride

>You want to get off

>Of course somewhere in the back of your mind you realize wanting to get off is how you got into this whole mess

>You wished that part of your mind was the one feeling your hangover

>Well it looked like you were stuck here for at least another day

>That wasn't so bad

>Not like staying just one night here hadn't gone just swimmingly for you already

>You felt like you already needed another drink

>Then your stomach chimed in and you regret even thinking about booze

>The next few minutes are taken up by everyone going to get their phones and calling their folks to let them know they were safe and you'd be staying with Pinkie until the storm blew over

>After that everyone starts the process of getting comfortable for the long haul

>The girls get started on deciding a bathroom order for getting cleaned up

>While they're busy doing that you head for the laundry room

>Luckily your shirts were at least done getting cleaned and you slip on your t-shirt from the day before

>Since you can already figure you're at the end of the line when it comes to getting a shower you head for the kitchen and already find all the girls not waiting on the bathroom trying to scrounge up something to eat

>Turns out you were at the end of the line when it came to food too

>You end up settling for a bowl of dry cereal and a glass of OJ

>Everyone seems to be splitting up into little groups so you take a seat at kitchen table by yourself

>Looks like Pinkie got first dibs on the shower since she's nowhere to be seen

>Dash, Fluttershy, and Trixie are all seated in the living room checking to see if anything new had come up on the tv

>Trixie occasionally steals a glance your way

>She seems like she has something on her mind

>You're not sure if that's good or bad

>Applejack seems to be talking to Maud and Limestone about something near the entrance to the living room but you can't hear what

>That's when you're pulled from your thoughts

124

>"Mind if I sit here darling?" Rarity asks putting a tentative hand on the seat beside you

>She's still in her nightgown but her usually perfect hair was a bit mussed and she was wearing a pair of sunglasses she'd gotten from who knows where

>seems you weren't the only one suffering from a hangover

"Sure, but only because you called me darling" You say gesturing to the spot next to you

>"Why Anon are you making fun of me?" Rarity asks pretending to sound hurt as she sits down with her meager breakfast of a couple bagels and what looks to be some of the milk you'd missed out on

"Who me, make fun of you? Never." You say giving her a lopsided smirk

>"Well I hardly blame you." She chuckles resting a hand against her forehead "I must look a dreadful mess right now."

"Rarity if this is how you look at your worst then I don't think you have anything to worry about." You say taking a sip from your orange juice

>"My, I see you're still as charming as you were last night."

>You sure hoped not

>Being charming had fucked up your life enough as it is

>You should probably try going back to being a dick

>Nothing bad ever came from you being a dick

>Things were safer that way

>You end up making conversation with Rarity over breakfast watching as the girls take turns heading for the shower

>When Pinkie returned she seemed to avoid looking at you

>That hurt

>But right now it was for the best

>You didn't have any idea on how to make things right

>Yet

>Rarity was also keeping what parts of your brain that weren't screaming in agony busy

>A part of you thinks back to how last night you'd been ready to ask her out

>Now that was the furthest thing from your mind

>Shame though

>Maybe in a different universe she'd have been one of the girls who'd turned your shit upside down

>Somehow the idea doesn't bring you much solace

>After a few more minutes it's Rarity's turn to get a shower

>Now you were left all alone again

>Might wanna get used to this feeling

>Could be your future

125

>You finish your breakfast without much happening

>You try to start thinking about ways you can try to fix things with Pinkie and Trixie but thanks to your hangover you can barely focus through the throbbing pain in your head

>You just end up running through every mistake you made last night

>It's like watching a slide show of a train-wreck

>And you keep yelling at the idiot in the pictures not to do the thing

>But he does it anyway

>Because he's retarded

>The sex scenes were pretty dope though

>Still none of it really helped with your current situation

>So you decided to focus on slowly sipping your OJ and trying not to think about anything that would aggravate your hangover

>Speaking of aggravating things

>"Hey Anon!" Rainbow Dash called from the hallway "The Showers all yours!"

>Great, maybe a cold shower would be all you need to miraculously think up some way to unfuck this situation

>As you head toward the bathroom Dash grabs you and pulls you to the side

>"Hey, what's going on with you?" She asks looking a bit suspicious

>Oh lord you didn't need this now

"Aside from a decent hangover, nothing is happening with me Dash" You say trying to figure out why Dash suddenly gives a shit

>"Oh c'mon dude, you've been acting like broody and quiet all morning." she says giving a skeptical look

"Maybe I'm just not a morning person." You sigh

>"C'mon man, I'm worried here." She says leaning in "Pinkie and Trixie have been acting weird"

>Fuck

>If Dash of all people was picking up on this the whole house would find out before you even got into the shower

>Dash looked around before pulling you closer

>"You don't think they were awake for when we...y'know"

>Ah

>There it was

>Missed it by that much

>You'd actually been too busy thinking about Pinks and Trix that you'd pretty much forgotten that this all started cause Dash was feeling horny

>Ain't that just a bitch

"No Dash, I can tell you they weren't awake for us doing you-know-what." You say with an exasperated sigh

126

>"Well then what's going on with you guys?" Dash asks crossing her arms and staring up at you

"Dash that's really none of your business" You say trying to step past her

>She grabs your arm and forces you to turn back around

>Okay now you were starting to get pissed

>"Well I'm making it my business" Dash says indignantly looking you right in the eyes

>Now upon self reflection, if the last 24 hours had taught you anything it would be that

>You are terrible at making decisions

>Sure the alcohol hadn't helped

>But you weren't batting 100 sober either

>So maybe you should consider your actions a bit better

>....

>But why start now

"Okay Dash do you really want to know what happened?"

>"Yeah start talk'n Mr. Flips"

"Fine well it turns out you weren't the only one feeling adventurous and frisky last night" You say in a harsh whisper

>"Wait, you don't mean.."

"Yup and spoiler alert things only went down hill from there so now I have to find a way to make my two best friends not fucking hate me forever" You explain feeling just a bit better to finally have that off your chest

>Dash looks confused and a little angry

>Figures

>You did fuck Pinkie like barely 5 minutes after you two thighfucked

>But that was the least of your worries right now

>Finally she looks you in the eyes

>"Then where's that leave us?" She asked

>Huh

>The fuck did she

>No

"Fuck you don't mean that.."

>"Of course I mean that." She says harshly while blushing "Why the fuck do you think I gave you my number?"

>That's it

>You're in Hell

>You died and this is your punishment

"Dash there is no US" You say trying to be as clear as possible "We dry humped on each other until we both got off how does that make anything official?"

>Dash continues to blush and look at the floor sheepishly "Well I thought that once you hit me up we could hang out and see where things went and stuff"

>Normally you might have found this cute

>Maybe even kinda hot

>But right now you felt like you just stepped into crazy town

127

>This couldn't be real

>Dash had to be fucking with you

>Right

>...

>Nah, judging by your luck this shit was for real

>Might as well give it to her straight

"Dash, I'm real flattered you wanna go out with me." You say noticing Dash seem to perk up at this "But according to my watch here..." You say looking at bear wrist "I sooooo don't have THE TIME for this right now."

>There's a few second of silence before Dash just glares at you

>She doesn't seem to appreciate your WELL-TIMED zinger

>Ha!

>Even hungover and possibly friendless you still got it

>"Oh so last night just meant nothing to you huh?" She asks sounding a bit hurt

>Fuck

>No

>NO!

>You weren't reliving this shit all over again

>You were going to get ahead of this shit before it went nuclear

"I didn't say that Dash." You say letting your shoulders slump "Just listen, I don't know what to think right now okay." You say thankful that she seems to at least be listening to you more than Pinks and Trix had last night "I've got a lot, and I mean A LOT, on my plate right now. Gimmie some time to sort this shit out and figure out how I feel okay." You almost beg "I'll get back to you when I have some clue of what's going on okay"

>Please let this work

>It was bad enough Pinkie and Trixie may never talk to you again

>The last thing you need was to send Dash off on the war path

>Especially while you were stuck in a house with her

>Dash seems to think this over for a second

>"Fine Anon, but don't take too long" She says turning to head back towards the living room "I'm not gonna wait around forever"

>You breath a sigh of relief

"Thanks Dash." You say earning a small smile from the rainbow haired girl before she left

>Okay

>Now you had to fix shit between your two best friends and a girl who you kinda-sorta-almost fucked who wants to try dating you

>All you needed was yandere and a loli and you'd have a harem anime bingo

>But you could hold off on that

>Right now you could really use that shower

128

>You manage to make it to the bathroom without anymore crazy shit happening

>Thank all that was holy for that

>If one more girl came out and confessed to you right now you'd probably lose your mind

>Even if it was Rarity

>Can't believe things have gotten to that point

>Because seriously, you were at your breaking point with Pinkie and Trixie

>Now you had to handle Dash

>Who until last night you kind of hated on principle

>But now you knew she wasn't so bad

>Still one more headache though

>You get naked and take sec to look yourself over in the mirror

>Wow

>You look like Hell

>Even by burnout standards

>Well good to know you look how you feel right now

>With a sigh you step into the shower and turn it on

>The water hits you and you have to fight not to shout

>Fuck a duck with no luck in truck

>That shit was cold as balls

>You were surprised your own hadn't completely receded from the shock

>It takes you a while to get used to sensation before you can start actually cleaning yourself

>You don't stay long after that

>You mostly just wash yourself, get your hair wet, and splash your face a little before you get out

>Well no miracle revelations

>But now you at least felt a little more like a human being again

>Chalk one up for small victories

>You take your time toweling yourself off and getting dressed

>You can't help but think back on times you'd spent with Trixie and Pinkie over the years

>Feels like their feeling for you were insanely obvious now

>Part of you wonders if you were just too dense to notice

>Or if part of you just believed it was too good to be true

>Both of them were pretty awesome after all

>Sure they could be annoying, they got you into trouble, and you'd get in fights from time to time

>But you couldn't think of any two people who knew you better than them

>Which is why you HAD to fix this somehow

>Having reaffirmed this you step out of the bathroom

>The only question was how

129

>Okay, you needed a plan

>Which meant you had to find a place where you could have a moment to yourself

>Unfortunately since you weren't in your own house you couldn't just commandeer a room and tell everyone to fuck off while you tried to come up with your plan

>And even if you had balls big enough to do that then you'd have to answer the awkward question of what you were planning

>And the last thing you needed right now was to have everyone in the house know how much of a fuck up you were while there was no way out

>So that meant you were stuck trying to make do with rooms no one would go to any way

>That didn't leave you too much in the way of options

>There was Mr. and Mrs. Pie's room

>And the Guest room

>...

>Nah

>In the last 24 hours bedrooms had proven to be places where you didn't make good decisions

>So they were out

>The basement would be great

>And you could smoke there too

>Unfortunately Limestone and Maud both spent a lot of time down so they could fuck around with all their rocks

>And you certainly didn't want them to start asking questions

>Plus Applejack already caught you down there once

>Which means if they notice you're gone for too long they'll check there pretty fast

>Fuck

>At this rate you'd have to hide in a closet if you wanted a minute to yourself

>And knowing your luck Fluttershy or someone would be in there wanting to play seven minutes in heaven

>Wait a sec

>The Garage!

>Why didn't you think of that sooner

>With Pinkie's folks gone there'd be no reason for anyone to go there

>Not like any of the girls were gonna need a hammer or anything anytime soon

>And it was ventilated

>So you could smoke there

>It was perfect

>Alright

>Now you just had to get there unnoticed

>Slowly and quietly you head back down the stairs

>It seems like everyone was doing their own thing trying to keep busy

>lucky for you

>None of them notice as you sneak down the hall and slip into the garage

130

>You flip on the lights

>The garage was exactly what you needed right now

>It was empty

>Spacious

>And with a quick glance you were able to the old coffee can Mr. Pie used to ash his pipe

>You officially had everything you needed to start trying to think of a way out of this mess

>Well almost everything

>You reach into your pocket and pull out your phone

>You always came up with your best ideas while listening to some tunes

>You pull up your playlist and set it to random

> [YouTube] Arctic Monkeys - The Bad Thing - Favourite Worst Nightmare (embed)

>Already did that

>Next

> [YouTube] Johnny Cash I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry (embed)

>You weren't there yet, but if you fuck this up this would probably be how you felt

>Next

> [YouTube] Less Than Jake - Devil in my DNA (embed)

>Et Tu Less than Jake

>Okay but seriously did even your phone know you're a major fuck up

>Come on

>Just one song

>Something chill to get the ideas flowing

>C'mon man, just one

> [YouTube] Coheed and Cambria - Island (embed)

>Fucking finally

>This will work

>And it's kinda fitting in a way

>You set your phone down on Mr. Pie's workbench and step into the middle of the room

>You focus on the music to clear your mind

>Nothing was going to distact your from this

>That is until

> [YouTube] Titenic: The JonSong (Ft. Schmoyoho) (embed)

>SONUVABITCH!!!

>You recognized the ringtone immediately and can't resist smacking your forehead in frustration as you stomp back over to the workbench

>You pick it up and force yourself not to yell into the receiver

"What do you want Flash" You groan

>"Hey man what's with the attitude?" Your buddy asks "I was just calling to see if you were okay. This whole storm shit came out of nowhere y'know"

>You sigh

>You couldn't be mad at him

>He was just trying to be a bro

"Well I'm safe, but I'm far from okay"

>"What's that supposed to mean?"

>Might as well tell him

>Plus two heads were better than one

>Even if one was Flash's

"Get comfortable dude, because have I got a story for you" you say pulling out a new cigarette

131

>You proceed to spill everything to Flash

>And you meant everything

>From the second you got to the slumber party to sneaking into the garage

>Though you did skimp on the details when it came to the actual sex stuff

>No matter how much of a Bro Flash was you weren't going to tell him all of that

>If Trixie managed to forgive you she'd still kill you if she found out you told Flash you'd fingered her ass

>You did give him a few of the details about what you did with Dash though

>Because he was still your bro after all

>And that shit was too crazy not to talk about

"So yeah, I'm pretty good and fucked at the moment Flash." You say finally finishing your story

>You glance up at the clock above the workbench

>Fuck

>You'd been going on for about twenty minutes

>"Wow dude...just wow." Flash says obviously at a loss for words

"Yeah, I know."

>"If I knew things would have turned out like this I would have just told you about how Trixie felt about you awhile ago" He says apologetically

>Yeesh, how dense were you

>Even Flash was able to see Trixie liked you

>Fucking Flash

"It's not your fault man"

>"But still dude, how? Just how?"

>Honestly you were wondering the same thing

>But...

"Why the fuck are you asking me? Aren't you still like the most popular guy in school? Shouldn't you have experience with this shit or something?" You say bit testily

>"Hey, I've only ever gone out with one girl dude" Flash tries to defend "And she ended up turning into a demon after I dumped her"

"Yeah, I'm hoping I don't have to deal with that" You say sarcastically "But what about all your fangirls, you know almost all of them would love to go for a ride on the Flash express"

>"Dude don't even get me started on my groupies." Flash sighs "Honestly I'd rather just go out with Twilight if I could."

>Yeesh

>Flash and his fucking horse princess waifu

>It was times like these that reminded you Flash was as big of a weirdo as you

>No matter what the rest of the school thought

132

"Well speaking of Twilight, how did your date go last night?" You ask

>You actually don't care

>But Flash is your bro

>And that means being there for his fucked up love life just like how he is being there for yours right now

>Plus you were basically his wingman

>so you had to have his back

>"I dunno man, I mean it didn't go bad, but..."

"It didn't go good either I guessing."

>"I don't know man" Flash sighed "I mean she's just so different from the Twilight I know and..."

"Well like I said she is a different person."

>"Oh trust me I know, she made that pretty clear. Several times actually"

>Rough

>"It's just I know they're two different people, but I thought there'd at least be something there? I mean how can the Twilight from the other dimension like me and this one not seem interested in all"

"Dude if the last 24 hours have taught me anything, it's that women are a mystery. Trying to figure out what they like is like trying to read smoke signals." You say tiredly "I mean seriously, if I was gonna bet money on which girl was gonna fuck me last night I would have picked Rarity."

>"Okay, I'm just gonna stop you right there" Flash cuts in "I'll believe everything else you told me about last night, but I'm still not buying for a minute that Rarity was flirting with you"

>Fair enough

"Hey, I ain't saying I believe it either, but I swear man she was flirting with me all night"

>"Sure she was dude"

"Wait, so you've dated a girl who turned into a demon, have a crush on a princess from another dimension, been turned into a zombie by magic at least twice and me actually getting play from Rarity is where you draw the line for shit you can believe?"

>"Yeah, that's about right"

"Well it's not like I'm gonna try to prove you wrong, got enough on my plate with Pinks, Trix, and Dash as it is"

>Well man I wish you the best of luck, you're gonna need it"

"Right back at ya stud, if you need help with the whole Twilight thing later hit me up"

>And like that the call ends

133

>Well that helped take your mind off things a little

>Too bad that's kind of the opposite of what you wanted to do right now

>But still you felt a little less on edge

>Guess Flash was good for something after all

>Before you know it your song has ended

>You get ready to cue up the next one when the door to the garage swings open and Limestone comes stomping in followed by Maud

>Shit

>You did not need this right now

>Nor did you need Limestone grabbing you by your shirt and shoving you into the nearest wall

>Okay

>You feel like you just skipped a few levels in this situation

>You look to Maud and see she isn't stepping in to stop this

>She also didn't bring Boulder with her

>Something told you that wasn't good either

>"Alright shithead spill it." Limestone growled up at you "What did you do"

>Great

>So now this was happening

>Not like you didn't have enough to deal with as it is

"Could you be a bit more specific?"

>Okay

>That probably wasn't the smartest thing to say

>Especially to Limestone of all people

>But you at least didn't want to admit to anything they didn't know about yet

>Your goal was to keep things as uncomplicated as possible

>Which was already going swimmingly

>Limestone throttles you a little angrily

>You have to ignore the voice in the back of your head pointing out how you could pull her hands off you right now

>You did not want to escalate things further

>"What I want to know shithead is what you did to make my sister cry!" She says tightening her grip on your shirt "How's that for specific?"

"Pinkie's crying?"

>Fuck

>You weren't prepared for that

>"That's right, she's been acting down in the dumps all morning and when I asked her what happened she closed herself up in the bathroom and started to cry" Limestone explained "And all I could get out of her was your name. So spill"

>Shit

>Things just keep getting better and better around here don't they

>It's like you're living in a soap opera

>But with less amnesia

134

>So here you were

>Even further up shit creek than you were before

>It was like a bizarre mix of a death march and a float trip at this point

>And now you had to tell two people who'd you'd rank at #3 on your list of people you'd really rather not be having this conversation with about exactly how bad you managed to screw up your two longest friendships in one night

>And you couldn't just say you'd take a pass on that either

>So you give Maud and Limestone the PG Disney cliffnotes of the night before

>Because there was no way you were gonna tell them about what actually happened

>You like your body parts and where they currently were at the moment

>You still manage to hit all the high points of your fuck-uppery though

>Maud's expression doesn't seem to change

>But somehow it feels like she's boring into you with her eyes

>Creepy and demoralizing

>Just great

>Limestone seems pissed

>But then again that's her default setting when it came to you so who knows what's going inside her head

>"You bastard!" She yells as she winds back and decks you right in the face

>Honestly you should have expected that

>You did just explain how you may have broken her sister's heart

>Still the shot took you off guard and you stumble a bit before drop to one knee

>It wasn't the hardest hit you'd ever taken but it was up there

>"I told her you were no good and now look what you've done" She looks like she's about ready to hit you again when Maud steps in grabbing her wrist

>"That's enough Limestone" She says sternly

>Or as sternly as monotones go

>Then she turns to you

>"Anon, I warned you about this last night." She says

"Yeah, well maybe next time can you be a little less cryptic with your warnings so we can avoid shit like this" You say a bit testily

>You didn't mean for it to come out like that but getting sucker punched will do a number on your mood real quick

>You begin to notice a coppery taste in your mouth

>You bring a hand to your lip

>Fuck, she split your lip

135

>"Let me go Maud" Limestone growls as she yanked her arm free "After what he did to Pinkie we should..."

>"I said that's enough Limestone." Maud reiterates "While what Anon did was terrible, I think we both know he didn't hurt Pinkie intentionally, right Anon?" She says casting her gaze back to you

"Of course not." You say wiping the blood from your lip on the back of you hand

>"And I'm sure he plans to fix things with her, right Anon?" She continues

"That was the plan, least until you two came barging in on me" You say plopping yourself down on the concrete floor

>"Oh, and how exactly are you planning to do that, huh fuckhead?" Limestone asks rolling her eyes at you

"That part..." you pause looking away dejectedly "Is still a work in progress. Be a lot easier without getting punched in the face again"

>"Good, then we'll leave you too it then" Maud says gesturing for Limestone to follow her out "Just remember Anon, you've always been someone incredibly special to Pinkie, now it's time to prove her faith in you wasn't unfounded"

>"Yeah, you better not fuck this up, or else" Limestone adds crudely

"I'll keep that in mind" You say as you reach for your smokes "Oh and give my best to Boulder" You add glibly as they leave

>Fuck

>So Pinkie was crying over you

>Or over what you'd done

>Not sure which

>Given your luck, probably which ever was worse

>You light up your cigarette and breath deep

>Now the million dollar question

>How do you make things right with Pinkie and Trixie

>While you're at it might as well knock out the meaning of life too

>Hell that seemed easier at this point

>Least you had peace and quiet to think things through again

>"My oh my, hell of a shiner you got there sug"

>Son

>of

>A

>Bitch

>Was there like a sign outside the door that said come fuck with Anon

>Because this shit was getting ri-fucking-diculous

136

>Now normally you'd be excited for a girl like Applejack to come looking for you

>Nice

>Pretty

>Down to earth

>Looked great in a cowboy hat

>Hip that don't lie

>And she played bass

>Hell just thinking of all she has going for her makes you start re-evaluating the hotness rankings you have in your head from the other day

>But now

>Right THE FUCK now

>She was one of the last people you wanted to see

>Just like every other girl in this house

>It was like the universe was conspiring against your need for privacy and peace and quiet

>Though at least this current cosmic fuck you was easier on the eyes than the last ones

>And hopefully easier on your jaw

"Ain't nothing I don't deserve" You say before turning towards the corner of the room and spitting a blood filled glob just out of sight

>"Sounds a little harsh if you ask me." Applejack say leaning back against the door "Anything you wanna talk about?"

"It's a long story" You sigh "And no, I really don't wanna talk about it"

>"Guess that seems fair" Applejack shrugs while crossing her arms "I was just wondering why you been hole'n yourself up in the basement and the garage of all places is all"

>Yeesh, you missed being socially invisible

>How do normal people get through the day being noticed all the time

"I told you already" You say holding up your cigarette and gesturing with it "I'm just an addict with a habit"

>"Huh, I guess that makes sense, but you sure it ain't got nothing to do with why Pinkie and Trixie been act'n so weird this morning?" She asked tilting her hat up with her finger

>Fuck

>Okay Anon

>Just play it cool

"What are you talking about Applejack?" You say doing your best to feign ignorance "You sure they're not just hungover? I know I sure was when I woke up"

>Applejack expression doesn't change

>You can tell she doesn't buy it

>But she's playing it cool

>You actually feel more intimidated by her stare than her brother's

>And you've actually been hit by her brother so that says something

137

>Finally Applejack rolls her eyes a little before talking again

>"You know that might be the case, but then why was Pinkie sleeping in the guest room this morning?" She says knowingly

>Shit

>You had nothing for this

"I dunno" You say with a shrug "Maybe she kind of wandered off drunk like I did"

>Fuck

>That was weak

>You watch as Applejack cocks an eyebrow and gives you an unimpressed look

>At this point you might as well give up

"You aren't buying any of this are you?"

>"Fraid not partner" Applejack said with a halfhearted smile

>Figures

>It was really shaping up to be one of those kind of days

"Fine I'll tell you but are things really that noticeable out there?"

>Really, if things were getting as bad as you thought they were out there you didn't exactly have a ton of time to be forming some clever plans

>No matter how clever

>Because fucked is fucked

>"Well anyone with eyes can see something is up between you three. I mean last night Pinkie and Trixie were hanging off you like apples from a branch and this morning they barely want to look at you" Applejack explained "Add that with Pinkie sleeping in the guest room and you hiding out in the basement and out here it wasn't hard to figure out" She tapped her finger to her lip "That shiner didn't do you any favors either" She chuckled

>Damn

>She had you dead to rights

>Course the way she explained it that wasn't too hard

>And yet Dash still couldn't figure it out

>At least she still had sports to fall back on

>And that ass

"Yeah, shots to the face don't really help you as much as you'd think" You say sarcastically

>"So what all happened between y'all?"

"Okay listen, before I tell you I need you to promise you won't go around telling the rest of the girls" You say seriously "At least not yet"

>"Don't worry Anon, I promise I won't tell"

>You figure you can trust her

>Pinkie did once tell you she was the magical element of honesty or something

>Even though Honesty isn't an element

>Fucking stupid horse magic

138

>So you proceed to spill everything to Applejack

>Well not everything

>This was awkward enough as it is

>But you do give her a version of the story between what you told Pinkie's sisters and what you told Flash

>Really only difference is you tell her you slept with Pinkie and Trixie, you just don't go into the sexy bits

>You do feel the need to explain you didn't technically fuck Dash though

>For the most part she just stands there listening

>And blushing a little

>Which is kinda cute

"And that's why I've been hanging out here. I've been trying to think of a way to fix all of this" You say with a sigh as you reach for your smokes

>"Wow Anon, that's some mess you managed to get yourself into" She marvels

"Yeah, well I am a burnout after all" You chuckle mirthlessly as you light up "We're not exactly known for our well thought out ideas"

>"I can see now why Limestone went and gave you that shiner too"

"Yeah, like I said, nothing I didn't deserve. Though if you're gonna hit me now too can you try not aiming for the face. It's gonna be hard to apologize with a swollen jaw"

>"I'm not gonna hit you Anon" Applejack says motioning for you to come closer "I mean what you did was stupider than trying to headbutt a bull, but at least you're trying to make things right"

>You move to join her taking a seat on workbench by the door

"I kind of have to, things got out of hand last night, but I never wanted to hurt them. I don't know how to feel about them being in love with me, but I at least don't want to lose them as friends" You take a long drag on your smoke "And then there's this whole thing with Dash now too, I'm so far out of my league I might as well be playing cricket or something"

>"Well have you thought about maybe talking to them about all this?" Applejack asks

>Now it's your turn to give the country girl a skeptical look

"That's going to be hard considering both of them don't wanna even look at me right now"

>"Oh I wouldn't be so sure about that"

139

>The fuck was that supposed to mean

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

>"Hey now just hear me out Anon. I know a thing or two about friendship y'know" She said with a chuckle

>Great

>More references to bullshit horse magic

>But she was trying to help you

>Might as well let her explain

>"Now I can't speak for Trixie but I do know Pinkie. And sure she may be all mixed up and more than a little hurt but you're her best friend. I'm sure if you sat her down and just talked to her for a bit you could maybe get her to understand what happened"

>Yeah

>And maybe Sunset would come bursting through the wall in the next few seconds and give you the horse magic for the element of Nicotine and ask you to fight another magic pony monster that came to our world looking like a hot teenage girl

>Actually that sounded at least kind of awesome

>And unfortunately at least minimally probable

>And you hadn't really come up with any ideas better than Applejack's yet

>Of course no one had given you much of a chance to yet

>Still

"So you're saying it'll really be that easy?" You ask

>"Oh I didn't say it would be easy Sug" Applejack said giving you a knowing smile "But it is the right thing to do"

"Yeah and when is that ever easy" You say with a smirk "Oh well maybe if I'm lucky I can make this work with her and Trixie"

>"There you go Anon" Applejack says moving to you and placing a hand on your shoulder "And just know me and the girls are pulling for you"

>Well that was good to hear

>Wait a minute

"Hey I thought you said you weren't gonna tell them about this, you promised"

>"And I won't but we all are hoping you can make up with Trixie and Pinkie. Now c'mere" Applejack says leaning up and placing a light kiss on on your cheek right where Limestone had slugged you

>Damn

>It still stung

>But you could get used to pain like this

>"There, now that was for luck, you're gonna need it sug" And like that Applejack sauntered out of the garage leaving you to think about what she told you

140

>You are Applejack

>And you just stepped into the hall

>Being careful to actually CLOSE the door to the garage

>The door you'd been holding ajar so that Fluttershy and Rarity could listen in on you and Anon

>"Well I reckon that went better than expected"

>Fluttershy looks at you a bit nervously

>"I dunno Applejack, are you sure about lying to Anon?"

>"What are you talking about, I'm the Element of Honesty, I didn't lie" You say confidently "I said I wouldn't tell you guys what he said. I never said you two weren't listening in"

>"Yes, yes, you're very clever dear" Rarity interrupts "Still I just can't believe Anon managed to get up to all of that while we were asleep"

>"Try not to sound too excited there Rars" You tease

>Rarity begins to blush earning a chuckle from you and small giggle from Fluttershy "I'm not excited, why I resent the implication"

>"Sure you do" You say

>"Are you sure what you told Anon will work Applejack?" Fluttershy asks you

>Well that was the million dollar question

>That and if Anon would actually listen to what you said

>Course that was why you gave him that little kiss

>To make sure he would take your advice to heart

>Well mostly because of that anyway