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[RGRE] Fleur, Duchess of Normarey

By MrSkeltal
Created: 2021-07-16 21:31:33
Updated: 2023-02-17 04:13:17
Expiry: Never

  1. Original Story Writer: Love and Powerlifting (ponepaste.org/user/lapsbin)
  2. Reason this is posted here is because LaP regularly doesn't bin things. Will be removed upon or shortly thereafter being posted on his bin. Maybe.
  3.  
  4. Some initial spitballing from the thread:
  5. >tfw you will never catch the eye of a prench noble
  6. >tfw she's a duchess no less
  7. >tfw she thinks you're crude, lewd, and the perfect person to make into a cute little househusband
  8. >tfw you can't understand a fucking word that she's saying
  9. >tfw you're pretty sure she wants you to eat fucking snail
  10. >Or watch her do a magic trick
  11. >tfw Equestria is weird
  12. ------------------------
  13. >She's a duchess
  14. >A war hero
  15. >Maybe one of the more powerful magi currently living
  16. >Her castle is deep in the mountains
  17. >It had been standing over six hundred years, and not once had it fallen to a foe
  18. >It was a big castle in northern Equestria, not a days ride to the Crystal Empire
  19. >A lonely castle
  20. >As wealthy and powerful as she was, Fleur could never find a colt that would want to stay with her for more than a few weeks
  21. >Colts liked cities, the nightlife, things to do
  22. >There was not too much there for her duchy
  23. >Those nobles that lived in the cold, hard mountains were cousins or distant relatives
  24. >Not suitable suitors; at least to her
  25. >Those southern nobles were weaklings; too pompous and dignified to dirty their hands
  26. >It was frustrating
  27. >A frustration that no amount of fighting, hunting, or feasting could sooth
  28. >But then you came
  29. >A man from a different world so strange compared to her own
  30. >The way you spoke was strange
  31. >The way you moved was strange
  32. >When you met her, you tried to hold the door open for her, like some young filly that had just gotten her first set of honor
  33. >She had laughed, and never forgotten your face
  34. >She made numerous trips to Canterlot, going out of her way to visit that bothersome city and those bothersome southerners just to see you
  35. >Every little thing you did was fascinating, and you had such silly ideas as a stallion
  36. >She invited you up to her castle, wishing you show you some of the countries' wildlands
  37. >To her delight, you didn't seem to care much for city life, and agreed to join her
  38. >Weeks passed
  39. >She took you all through her lands
  40. >You hunted, spoke with her little ponies
  41. >She even allowed you to look through her family's famous armory and library
  42. >Every single day she woke up expecting you to ask to return to Canterlot, and every single day that didn't happen
  43. >The castle staff began to warm up to you, as did the ponies surrounding the little town not far from the castle
  44. >Many said that their lady looked so much happier with you around
  45. >They had never seen the usually solemn and grim mare smile so much
  46. >Even when the winter came, and the Wendigos came from the very far north to cause mischief you didn't leave
  47. >Not only did you not leave, you made snowponies with some of the castle's foals!
  48. >You might have been a strange, alien stallion with an odd way of doing things, but the duchess wouldn't have you leave for all of the valuable suitors in her kingdom
  49. >In fact, she was having scribes in Canterlot trying to find some sort of noble lineage in your family line
  50. >If they couldn't--which was pretty much a guarantee since you weren't of this world--then they were told to make something up
  51. >A noble such as herself couldn't just up and marry a commoner now, could she?
  52. >She'd even give your mother a dowry fit for a prince, as it was the only proper thing to do
  53. ------------------------
  54. >>In fact, she was having scribes in Canterlot trying to find some sort of noble lineage in your family line
  55. >>If they couldn't--which was pretty much a guarantee since you weren't of this world--then they were told to make something up
  56. I wonder how that exchange went. Like I bet you can't just outright say "make shit up" or "fabricate some legal documents" or "here's a bribe" despite all those things probably being necessary to be a successful noble.
  57.  
  58. "I would ever so appreciate it if you were to go back through Anonymous' past and try to find a noble line."
  59. >"My Lady, I am afraid that that would be fruitless. He is not of this world."
  60. "Ahem. Why don't you TRY TO FIND nobility in his PAST. In the DOCUMENTS."
  61. >"It simply won't be there! My Lady, such an endeavor would be folly! Folly, I say!"
  62. "Well, scribe, we won't know until we check. Try looking REALLY hard. In fact, here is a list of the personal details about Anonymous I have been able to acquire. Name, date of birth, parent's name, etc. Maybe with these DETAILS, you can FIND HIS DOCUMENTS with greater accuracy and validity."
  63. >"I... am quite sorry, My Lady, but I cannot find what does not exi-"
  64. "For fuck's sake."
  65. ------------------------
  66. >She takes you back to Canterlot once
  67. >It was for business, and she couldn't bear to leave you home
  68. >Things were perfectly normal for the first few days
  69. >She bought you all the fabric you wanted--you were learning how to sew from the castle's seamster-- as well as some other knickknacks
  70. >While privately speaking with the princess, she was even congratulated on finding a nice stallion
  71. >But then disaster struck
  72. >A noble went and hit on you while Fleur was speaking to some old war buddies
  73. >Fleur looked over at you just as the chubby, sleazy mare pinched your bottom
  74. >She immediately borrowed a sword from a guard, stomping over to protect your honor
  75. >The mare attempted to apologize
  76. >Fleur wanted a duel to the death to settle matters
  77. >Celestia attempted to step in, but the unicorn would not be calmed down
  78. >You suggested the mare take you on a shopping spree to apologize, as well as "gift" you your weight in gold
  79. >Fleur didn't like the idea, flat out refusing, but you were insistent
  80. >The mare eagerly accepted, and the rest of your trip was on her pockets
  81. >You, the poor mare, Fleur, and some guards Celestia sent to keep Fleur from murdering her fellow noble went out onto the town the next day, where you went on the shopping spree of the century
  82. >Fleur's outrage turned to amusement as you nearly bankrupted the mare in two days
  83. >Not buying jewelry or frilly things, but stuff that would help the castle out
  84. >Different foodstuffs, paper, leather, types of gems and ore
  85. >You had the mare buy ten barrels of wine that Fleur loved, as well as got yourself a helmet from one of the finest armorers in the city, whose pieces cost a small fortune
  86. >All the while, you had a troupe of singers follow you, dancing and making merry as they were given ten times the normal rate
  87. >There was a lot of talk when you and Fleur went home with twenty wagons full of goods
  88. >The noble who had dishonored you was now humbled to the core
  89. >The rest of the nobility were amused to bits
  90. >Celestia sent some fine chainmail for you from the armorer you had gotten the helmet from as a gift; a thank you for keeping her nobles from needlessly killing each other
  91. >The ponies back at the castle were delighted with all the fabric, fruit, and gifts you had gotten for them
  92. >Fleur was happy that you had not only taken things in stride, but had been exceedingly clever in dishing out a rightful punishment
  93. >The next time the two of you went to Canterlot, and forever after, nobles would go out of their way to be as polite as possible with you
  94. >Not for fear of Fleur, but of what you'd do to them
  95. ------------------------
  96. The story proper:
  97.  
  98. >Warmth and chill
  99. >A furry body
  100. >Quiet, steady breathing
  101. >You were Anon
  102. >It was early; just before the sun rose you reckoned
  103. >As much as you had enjoyed sleeping in, living in Canterlot for all those months had turned you into an early bird
  104. >There was also much do to, even this early in the morning
  105. >The issue would be getting out of bed without waking its other occupant
  106. >Fleur de Lis
  107. >Duchess of Normarey
  108. >The Spear Tip of Princess Celestia's Army
  109. >Ruler of La Maison Sainte Dans Les Montagnes; a castle even older than the one in Canterlot, and with perhaps an even more colorful history
  110. >Unlike you, Fleur wasn't an early bird in the slightest
  111. >She disliked getting up before the sun was in the sky, and would be grumpy all day if she did so
  112. >So, like most days, it took some tact to untangle yourself from her hooves and tail
  113. >She liked to be as close as possible when you both slept, and while she wasn't exactly a light sleeper she would wake up if you weren't careful
  114. >So you went slow, carefully wiggling yourself away from her furry chest, lifting her legs one at a time
  115. >When you were out of her grasp she let out an unhappy snort, rolling onto her other side as you sat up onto the edge of the bed
  116. >With a yawn, you hopped off, quickly putting on your slippers
  117. >The stone floors were always cold, no matter what time of the year, especially in the mornings
  118. >The ponies living here didn't notice, what with them having hooves and all, but you very much did
  119. >Thankfully, Fleur had been kind enough to put some spells on various parts of her castle that would heat the floors
  120. >It was only in a few places
  121. >She might have been a powerful spellcaster, but it would have been a waste of time and magic keeping the whole castle warm just for you
  122. >Still, the places she did keep the spell maintained were where it was needed the most
  123. >The bathroom in her personal chambers for example
  124. >As you made your way into said bathroom, you stretched, yawning
  125. >Fleur's bathroom was actually pretty small, and relatively sparse save for some towels and a rack for you to put your clothing on
  126. >Pony technology was always strange to you, what with them dancing around medieval and modern
  127. >The castle was much the same way
  128. >There wasn't much in the way of electricity, but they did have running water throughout the castle
  129. >One of Fleur's ancestor had somehow figured out a spell that would not only warm and cool water as needed, it'd take any water you used--from waste water from the kitchens to piss and shit to everything in between--and purify and filter it for reuse
  130. >Not even Fleur really knew how it worked, only that with a bit snow or rainwater the castle would be stocked up indefinitely
  131. >Fleur's mother had installed a nice toilet and shower in these personal chambers
  132. >You used the shower, quickly cleaning yourself up and dressing
  133. >Just checking to see if Fleur was still asleep, you were out the door
  134. >Servants were already up and starting the day's task
  135. >You were greeted with hellos and bows as you walked by
  136. >You responded with hellos of your own, and ear flicks to any pony that bowed
  137. >None of them liked the ear flicks, and you got some scrunches as you walked by, making you chuckle
  138. >Your first stop of the day was the kitchens, where the bakers were already hard at work
  139. >The smell of dough and yeast was already in the air
  140. >Mares chatted with each other in Prench
  141. >You had been learning the language little by little in your months staying here, but you didn't have much of a tongue for it
  142. >Your accent always made anypony listening to it laugh
  143. >Still, you were beginning to understand most of what they said, and everypony at the castle spoke English well enough, so it wasn't too bad
  144. >You made your way over to one of the bakers, a portly mare already covered in flower
  145. >Like most ponies around here, she was a unicorn
  146. >Her coat was thick, and her fetlocks were unshaven, as was the style around here
  147. >Her name was Break Fast, and she was a sweet little horse
  148. "Morning, Break," you said.
  149. >The mare looked up at you
  150. >"Bonjour mon seigneur," she said, bowing her head as she mixed the dough in front of her. "You've come into my kitchen to bother me again this morning, yes?"
  151. "I have," you said with a smile
  152. >The mare sighed theatrically
  153. >"A kitchen is a stallion's place, but not this sort of kitchen," she said. "Still, I suppose I cannot deny you. You will knead bread with me."
  154. >A big mass of dough was dropped in front of you, with a bowl of flour appearing right next to it
  155. >"Vite, before the dough becomes stuck to the table," she said, nudging you. "Do as I've showed you before."
  156. >Rolling up your sleeves, you got to work
  157. >When you had first gotten to the castle, the whole staff had been a little leery about you, especially the cooks
  158. >You eating meat they had no problem with; in fact fish and some types of bird were common up here
  159. >Unicorns had a bigger taste for meat than even their pegasi cousins it seemed
  160. >What they were concerned about was you coming in and trying to muck up their whole operation
  161. >They had a way of doing things in the kitchens, and they didn't want some colt coming in to wreck that
  162. >It took some doing to get them used to you, though things settled nicely once you expressed a desire to learn from them
  163. >You had always wanted to learn how to bake things like sweets and bread, and Prench bakers were some of the finest in the world at doing both
  164. >They took great pride in that too, and weren't afraid of chewing out anyone learning from them, even you
  165. >You didn't mind though; just enjoying what you were able to learn
  166. >After ten minutes of kneading, your dough was placed underneath a wet towel to rise
  167. >You were then ordered to help some of the staff grind the flour for the next day
  168. >The unicorns could do it much better with you, what with their magic, but you were much better at telling how fine the flour was
  169. >After that, you helped make some butter, using wooden paddles to shape it into small bricks as Break Fast watched
  170. >"You are doing a little better," she said. "Not very much so, and I wouldn't feed this to the goats, but someday your work might be edible."
  171. "You're very kind," you said, bowing your head
  172. >The unicorn snorted
  173. >"Tu es une créature idiote. Now go, wake our lady. Tell her breakfast will be ready at her leisure."
  174. >You saluted, wiping your hands off on the sides of your pants
  175. >You ruffled the baker's mane, dodging the playful insults in Prench as well as a wooden bowl, laughing as you left the kitchens
  176. >The sun was now beginning to creep over the mountains, the first rays of light coming through the colorful glass windows along the castle's hallways
  177. >You walked back to your and Fleur's chambers with a pep in your step, opening the door and poking your head inside
  178. >Fleur was still asleep, though it looked like she was clenching your pillow
  179. >You smiled at the sight, making your way over to her
  180. >You crawled into the bed, taking the pillow out of her hooves
  181. >Fleur grumbled, muzzle scrunching
  182. >She reached out, grabbing you and pulling you against her chest, her grumble turning into a content murmur as she sleepily nuzzled the top of your head
  183. "Honey, it's time to get up," you said, voice muffled by chest fur
  184. >Fleur didn't respond, her grip on you only tightening
  185. >You lifted a hand, placing it on her side
  186. "Come on, the cooks almost have breakfast ready?" you said, patting her
  187. >The unicorn just grunted, but made no effort to move
  188. >"Non."
  189. >You sighed, placing your hand back down on her
  190. >You began to scratch
  191. >While Fleur was a warrior known throughout Equestria and beyond, even she had gotten injured over the length of her illustrious career
  192. >Scars ran up the length of her body, some small, some inches long and thick
  193. >Your fingers ran up one of these scars; the result of a spear thrust from a diamond dog bandit
  194. >You touched another one; from a duel with another noble
  195. >And another; from a gryphon's claws
  196. >Fleur wiggled as your hand made it's way upward
  197. >Her grip around you loosened
  198. >You rolled her onto her back, both hands moving up and up
  199. >When you were playing with her ears, her eyes finally opened, tired and annoyed
  200. >"Au soleil, why must you torment me, mon amour?" she asked, her voice groggy
  201. "Because if I didn't you'd sleep all day," you replied, kissing her snout
  202. >She snorted, gently pushing your hands away and sitting up
  203. >"Come, let's go and dine then," she said, rubbing an eye
  204. >She tried to jump off the bed, but you stopped her with a hand
  205. >She looked at you questioningly
  206. >You responded by reached over to your nightstand and grabbing a comb
  207. >Her eyes narrowed
  208. >"Bien. Let's be done with this," she said, offering you her head
  209. >Her mane, as usual, was a mess
  210. >So was her fur and tail
  211. >If you had your way, you'd have carried her big white butt to the shower whenever you went and you'd sort everything out there
  212. >Unfortunately, again the waking her up early thing would have been a nightmare, and she didn't see the point in showering in the morning, insisting that she'd only get dirty by the time you both went to bed
  213. >She wasn't a colt that needed to be clean all the time
  214. >One shower was good enough, thank you very much
  215. >While you didn't exactly agree, you had never pressed the issue, but you did press her looking somewhat presentable once she walked outside
  216. >This might have been her castle, but she didn't need to look like some bum walking around it
  217. >Fleur grumbled, as she always did, but you were allowed to brush her until her coat, mane and tail were gleaming
  218. >All three had been a personal project of yours
  219. >Before you had come to the castle, her coat had been dull, messy, even falling out in some places
  220. >It was the stress of a soldiers' life and poor eating no doubt
  221. >But, with a serving of eggs every morning, making sure she ate her grains and grasses, and a thorough brushing, she had a coat and mane that was top notch
  222. >If you didn't know any better, you'd say she'd be right at home on a runway stage, not on a battlefield
  223. "There, all done," you said, putting the brush away
  224. >"Good, now let's be off, mon chéri," she said, nudging your shoulder with her snout. "I'm sure there's much to do today."
  225. >She jumped off the bed, with you following right behind her
  226. >The castle staff had been polite to you, but to Fleur there was nothing but the utmost respect
  227. >All stopped, be they servant or guard, bowing or saluting their lady
  228. >Fleur was brief yet kind to each she passed, giving each some sort of greeting
  229. >As you both walked, you heard her stomach growling
  230. >Hopefully the kitchen staff would be finished by the time the two of you made it to the dining room
  231. >A tired and hungry Fleur de Lis was good for nobody
  232. >"Remind me, love, what day is it?" Fleur asked
  233. "Thursday," you said. "I believe Lockjaw asked you to come and inspect the new recruits before lunch."
  234. >One of Fleur's ears perked up
  235. >"Ah oui, I remember," she said, suddenly excited as she nuzzled your side. "More mares-at-arms to tear into."
  236. "Remember dear, you don't need to put them in the ward. They're still learning."
  237. >"There's no better teacher than a proper fight. Holding back does nopony any good," Fleur replied with a shake of her head. "This isn't some southern land duchy, this is Normarey. Our soldiers are without equal BECAUSE things are so harsh."
  238. "...Dear, most are barely teenagers."
  239. >"Then it is a perfect time for them to learn," Fleur said, looking up at you
  240. >Seeing your expression, she deflated somewhat, looking away with a click of her tongue
  241. >"...Though, I suppose they needn't be beaten to an inch of their lives. It would be good for their soul, but not so much their body I think."
  242. >You smiled, giving her head a pat
  243. "Very good."
  244. >"And what will you be doing while I put the fear of Celestia into these young fillies, chérie?"
  245. "Oh, I think I'll go ahead and go out to the village for a bit," you said. "I just wanna see how things are going."
  246. >If the ponies in the castle had been leery about you, the ones in the village not ten minutes away from the castle had been much more so
  247. >Stallions held foals close, you were watched closely, some didn't want you getting close, even if Fleur were around
  248. >That all changed after that little ordeal in Canterlot with the noble
  249. >You had come back with a lot of stuff and a lot of gold to throw around
  250. >So, you had looked to see what was needed
  251. >The castle didn't need much, but the village did
  252. >Some of the older mares and stallions didn't have any kids
  253. >Those that did didn't get the help they might have needed for various reasons
  254. >There were also some ponies that were down on their luck, or not all there mentally
  255. >You figured, with all of the stuff you had gotten, why not build a place to house them all?
  256. >What did you need the gold for?
  257. >Food? Clothing?
  258. >Fleur saw to all that, and there was no internet to shitpost or buy dumb shit you didn't need, so why not do something good?
  259. >It took three months, but with Fleur's help, a favor from Celestia, and every ounce of gold that you had gotten, you had built a great big building near the marketplace
  260. >It even had a full staff to take care of everypony
  261. >The staff you hadn't had to pay for
  262. >Celestia had also been so pleased when you had told her about her little project that she had sent a group up from Canterlot, and said something about setting up a proper horsepital to tend to her little ponies up north
  263. >She also said something about putting even more bits into your building
  264. >Her and the rest of the princesses seemed really excited about the whole thing
  265. >Apparently, ponies didn't have nursing homes, nor had the thought ever occurred to them
  266. >Along with being a pretty darn good thing to do--not just for this place, but all over Equestria possibly-- it had helped endear yourself to the populace
  267. >Many smiled when they saw you
  268. >Foals ran up to you demanding to be picked up and carried
  269. >Sweets were stuffed into your pockets when you weren't looking
  270. >It was nice
  271. >Sometimes you'd go to your little nursing home type thing to see how everything was going and read to the old ponies
  272. >Most couldn't understand you, many just speaking Prench, but they liked to listen all the same
  273. >Fleur smiled
  274. >"I'll send some guards along with you then."
  275. >She suddenly stopped, frowning
  276. >"Anonymous?"
  277. "Yes?"
  278. >"L'amour de ma vie, you said it was Thursday, Oui?"
  279. "Yep."
  280. >"What day of the month is it?"
  281. "The tenth, I think," you said with a small frown. "Why, is something going on?"
  282. >Her ears did that wiggle thing they always did whenever she was trying to keep something from you
  283. >"...I need you to come home before sundown," she said
  284. "Okay. What for?"
  285. >"For a very important reason."
  286. "Really?"
  287. >"Extrêmement important et nécessaire, yes. Princess Celestia is coming."
  288. >You perked up
  289. "Oh really? Why are you just telling me now? I'd have told the kitchen staff and--"
  290. >"She wished to come discreetly, and she will not be long," Fleur said, looking everywhere but at you. "Now, lets be off to breakfast."
  291. >You crossed your arms
  292. "The princess is coming here, unannounced, and you don't want to tell me why?" you asked
  293. >Fleur said nothing, though a bead of sweat did begin to make its way down her forehead
  294. >"Oui. She wished for it to be a surprise."
  295. >You relaxed a little at that
  296. >If the princess wanted to surprise you with something that probably meant it wouldn't be bad
  297. >Hopefully
  298. >Being surprised wasn't just a good thing after all
  299. >You just studied the unicorn
  300. >If you wanted, you could probably grill her until she spilled the beans
  301. >Fleur might have been a soldier, but she had a heck of a time keeping any secrets at all, so much so she was lucky she had never been captured by an enemy
  302. >All she'd need was a few glasses of wine and a stallion bothering her and she'd have spilled all the nation's secrets
  303. >You hummed, eyes narrowing as you toyed with the idea
  304. >Fleur just stood there like a mare at the gallows, nervous but proud
  305. >Finally, you smiled, leaning down to kiss her cheek
  306. "Alright, you keep your secrets. I'll make sure to check up on you throughout the day like normal, and I won't stay out as long as I usually do."
  307. >Relief came to Fleur's face as you stood back up
  308. >"Tu as mes remerciements, mon amour."
  309. >You bumped her rump with your hip
  310. "Come on. Lets get something to eat. From the sounds of things we both have a long day ahead of us."
  311.  
  312. >Still be Anon
  313. >The little town not far from the castle was busy this morning
  314. >It looked like some merchants had come from the south, and everypony was taking advantage of some new and "exotic" wares
  315. >There was, as usual, the normal sellers, who were giving the "foreign" earth pony merchants dirty looks
  316. >They didn't care for earth ponies that much up here; something about ancient earth ponies trying to kick the unicorns out of these mountains to get at the gems below them
  317. >They weren't welcome here even a thousand years later, and if these merchants weren't careful they'd be robbed on their way back home somewhere along the road
  318. >Making your way into the marketplace, you were flanked by Ironside and Summer Song, your usual entourage whenever you wanted to leave the castle
  319. >Both were squires, working up to their knighthoods
  320. >They were both nice little horn heads
  321. >Dorky, but nice
  322. >Unlike the soldiery in Canterlot, they wore dark iron armor
  323. >It was thicker than what Celestia's guard were equipped with, far more personalized and ornate, and extremely expensive
  324. >Both mares also wore a pair of short swords on their back, which, thankfully, hadn't ever needed to be pulled whenever they were with you
  325. >"Quelle belle journée," Ironside said with a nod, looking around before sniffing the air. "Will their be rain today, my lord?"
  326. "I think the pegasi crew is supposed to be bringing up some storm clouds, but you know how they are."
  327. >"Paresseuse bird brains," Summer said, sticking her tongue out
  328. >You smiled, though that smile diminished as townsponies began looking over at you, ears perking up
  329. >They were all sweet, really, they were, but they had a... quirk, and, from the look in their eyes, it seemed like they weren't going to be able to help themselves today.
  330. >You watched as some of the ponies began to sway as if listening to some song
  331. >The grumbling unicorns behind their stalls suddenly smiled
  332. >Even your guards had a pep in their step that they hadn't a moment ago
  333. >And then, as always happened, the singing began
  334. >"Bonjour, good day."
  335. >"How is your family?"
  336. >"Bonjour, good day"
  337. >"How is your husband?"
  338. >"I need six eggs!"
  339. >"That's too expensive!"
  340. >"There must be more than this provincial life!"
  341. >The singing stopped for a moment
  342. >All turned toward you, including your guard
  343. >They stared expectantly
  344. >You just stared back
  345. "Nope," you said, shaking your head, loud enough that they could all hear. "Never gonna happen."
  346. >That should have been the end of it; or it would have been if these were earth ponies or pegasi
  347. >But unicorns were the most magical, which meant that the magic of music that affected all of ponykind affected them the most
  348. >So, despite your dismissal, the singing continued
  349. >Including your guards no less, with Ironside trotting in front of you, tossing her head from side to side
  350. >The traitors
  351. >"Look there he goes, that colt is strange, no question."
  352. >"Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?"
  353. >"Never part of any crowd."
  354. >"'Cause his head's up on some cloud."
  355. >"No denying he's a funny boy that Anonnnnnn!"
  356. "I'll show you strange if you keep that up, little filly," you said, giving her rump a nudge with your foot.
  357. >The singing continued, but you tuned it out as you usually did, walking through the stalls
  358. >Fleur had given you a bit of pocket money, which meant that you could buy some fruit or any little cakes that caught your eye
  359. >You knew your guards had a bag of bits hidden somewhere in their armor as well
  360. >They weren't supposed to buy anything while guarding you--Fleur wanted them to be focused--but why spoil the mare's fun?
  361. >They didn't get to leave the castle all that often, what with their training, and when their training was finally done and they were knights they'd probably join the military and be sent to lord knows where
  362. >Both of them were young; why not let them be kids for a bit?
  363. >Summer in particular was eyeing the new merchants, no doubt hoping they had some of those little cards her and Iron liked to collect
  364. >You whistled at her
  365. >She perked up, looking over at you, ears folded against her skull
  366. "Go see what they have," you said, gesturing toward the cart. "Iron can watch me for a bit. After you then she can have a turn."
  367. >Both mares smiled
  368. >"Merci mon seigneur," Summer said, bowing her head
  369. >She then took off toward the cart, her armor clanging as she dodged and weaved through bodies
  370. >You went from stand to stand, talking with the local merchants, asking about their business, how their families were doing, if their was anything that they needed
  371. >The merchants were happy to talk
  372. >There were some complaints, as usual
  373. >Iron Cast still wanted you to have Pen Pad put in the stocks because the mare started selling celery; something the other mare always sold
  374. >Some ponies were taking too much space in the market
  375. >One mare didn't "like how that other filthy dyke was looking at her, and if she continued to do so a challenge of honor would be issued"
  376. >Another poor mare just had her sixth foal, and her husband was already talking about having another
  377. >You listened to mares and stallions vent, gave advice where you could, and even settled some arguments here and there
  378. >Some things you made sure to write down to let Fleur know about for later, like some of the merchants seeing yaks snooping around at the edge of a farmers field
  379. >Many of the merchants were talkers, as were the normal ponies that stopped you for a chat
  380. >They'd get excitable too, meaning that they starting talking in Prench so quickly that you'd barely be able to understand them
  381. >This was where Iron, and eventually Summer when the mare came back, came in
  382. >They were able to give you the gist of what the heck they were talking about, which was extremely helpful
  383. >After a few hours, you were able to untangle yourself from the crowds, making your way into each "bigger" business
  384. >The blacksmith was having some issues with a mare that sold her coal
  385. >Some young kids kept TP-ing the tanner's home
  386. >The town's spellbook maker--easily the most esteemed job in a town full of just unicorns--was doing good, though you did get her to admit that she accidentally, almost, kind of, sort of, nearly opened a portal to a dimension of dark, evil, and maddening creatures because she used the wrong ink on the wrong side of parchment that she was writing on
  387. >It was just a normal, average day all things considered
  388. >You did your best to spend any of the bits that Fleur had given you, but, as usual, the townsponies resisted
  389. >Things were given freely, and all refused your money
  390. >When you placed bits on their counters and tried to leave they'd teleport it back into your bit bag
  391. >It was weirdly frustrating giving money you didn't need to ponies who wouldn't take it
  392. >The only ponies that would take your bits were the earth pony merchants, and the looks that the locals had given them told you they were absolutely going to be robbed if an escort wasn't sent along with them
  393. >Another thing you'd have to speak to Fleur about you supposed
  394. >Around lunchtime, you decided to head back up to the castle
  395. >Usually, you'd spend a great deal longer in town, but the princess was coming, and even though Fleur said that things were to be kept under wraps, you still wanted the castle to look presentable
  396. >You turned toward your guards
  397. "Do you both have everything you bought tucked underneath your armor?" you asked
  398. >The guards, having bags of all sorts of things crammed into every available space in their armor, nodded
  399. >This caused Ironside's helmet to fall from her head, revealing that she had a big bag of cookies balanced on top of her noggin
  400. >The mare, blushing, scrambled to grab the helm and put it back on her head before both mares saluted
  401. >You just smiled
  402. "Alrighty then, let's get back to the castle. I need to make sure our gallant lady hasn't murdered any recruits."
  403. >The walk back to the castle was quick
  404. >You tried carrying your own things, but Summer insisted you put everything onto her back
  405. >As you approached the castle, the three of you were commanded to halt as you were inspected by the gate guard
  406. >A senior knight that had been walking by had trotted over and cuffed the mare for doing so, followed by a thorough tongue lashing
  407. >You had just laughed, diffusing the situation by giving the guard a cookie
  408. >You might have stuck out in a crowd, and the mare should have known you were the duchess' special somepony, but she had been no doubt ordered to stop anypony coming into the castle
  409. >Fleur was cautious by nature, and while her castle had never fallen to an enemy, there were still those itching to try
  410. >Besides, hostile Changelings still roamed Equestria, and if they could disguise themselves as a princess one could no doubt easily impersonate you
  411. >The knight was cowed, not apologizing to the guard, but you figured she'd be honor bound to make it up to the mare
  412. >The knights--especially those of Normarey blood--were big on that sort of thing, whether the one they wronged was commoner or noble
  413. >The guard herself looked proud as you gave her muzzle a pat and a "keep up the good work" before making your way into the castle itself
  414. >The keep by now was a hive of activity
  415. >Knights, guards, maids, cooks, smiths, and many more ran around
  416. >You could hear pages and apprentices being screamed at; the smell of smoke and food was thick in the air
  417. >You heard Summer's stomach growl, which was followed by a similar growl from Ironside
  418. >You took your bag of goods from Summer's back
  419. "You both can return to the barracks," you said, bowing your head. "Thank you for coming with me today."
  420. >"Le plaisir est pour nous," both said, slapping hooves against their chest plates
  421. >They bowed, before racing off toward the barracks
  422. >A bag of chocolate fell out of a gap in Summer's armor
  423. >The mare backpedaled, making sure nopony saw as she stuffed it back into her armor before following Ironside
  424. >You shook your head
  425. >If they were lucky, they'd be able to stash everything they had gotten before a Sergeant saw them
  426. >If not, they'd probably be on night guard duty for the next month
  427. >Again
  428. >Switching your bag from one arm to another, you looked around
  429. >As luck would have it, a maid was not ten feet from you, a feather duster held aloft in his magic
  430. "Dawn, could you come over here for a moment please?"
  431. >The stallion stopped, ears perking up
  432. >When he saw you were the one calling he quickly made his way over
  433. >"How may I serve you, monsieur?" he asked
  434. >You knelt down in front of him
  435. "I need you to do two things for me. One, if you could take this bag to my chambers I'd appreciate it."
  436. >"Of course," Dawn said, taking the bag and placing it onto his back. "What is this second task?"
  437. "I need you to find Swiffer for me. Please tell him it's important that he finds me as soon as possible. Also, there's some cookies in the bag there, fresh from Creme Brulee's. Make sure to give them out to the staff."
  438. >The maid smiled, doing that weird cheek kissing thing these ponies liked to do on you
  439. >"I'll find him without delay, monsieur. The cookies will also be shared."
  440. >Bowing, the little stallion went off at a brisk pace toward your chambers
  441. >Trying not to wipe your cheeks--pony whiskers were always so ticklish--you made your way toward the back of the castle
  442. >There, among others things, was Fleur's pride and joy
  443. >The training grounds
  444. >They were massive; nearly three times the size of the castle itself, and with everything one would need to train in the art of combat
  445. >Once upon a time, there had been a military academy of sorts here, when Equestria was a wilder place, and the nobility as a whole much more warlike
  446. >Some nobles did send their heirs up here for Fleur to smack them around, but now it was mostly just to drag to other ponies at the gala
  447. >Most were knights in training or mares-at-arms, being trained for the Equestrian army or for Fleur's own personal force
  448. >As you made your way toward the fields, another smell began to mingle with those so familiar to the castle
  449. >The smell of blood
  450. >There was a group of armored ponies standing around in a circle
  451. >You made your way toward it, and as you did you heard yelling
  452. >"Poussez, POUSSEZ! Don't give me space, you foalish oaf! By the stars you are a slow one!"
  453. >There was your Fleur, wearing padded armor like the rest, along with two mares
  454. >Both were holding spears with their magic, though their grip looked shaky
  455. >Panting and covered in sweat, they were doing their best to dodge Fleur's weapon of choice; a scythe
  456. >This was a war scythe, with a thicker and shorter blade than it's more peaceful cousin, with a long, thick oak handle
  457. >It was a training weapon, with a rounded edge and a dulled blade, but it probably didn't feel good getting hit with the thing, especially with how Fleur was swinging it around
  458. >The unicorn was a blur, dancing around attacks as she swung at the ponies legs, never standing still, never giving any ground
  459. >"Press forward, Gleaming! Yes, try to get behind me, Sworn! Attaque! ATTAQUE! Are you mares of the north, or some soft-furred colts?!"
  460. >You watched for a few minutes with the rest of the mares, until you heard a pop
  461. >Turning, you saw Swiffer, head maid of the castle
  462. >He was an old stallion, his once black coat peppered with grey
  463. >Everything about him was prim and trim and proper, and you were pretty sure he had never slouched once in his entire life
  464. >"You asked for me, monsieur?" he asked, straightening his bowtie
  465. >You nodded
  466. >Making sure that all the mares were focused on the fight, you lead the unicorn a few feet away
  467. "How goes the cleaning for the day, Swiffer?" you asked
  468. >"Extremely well," the stallion replied, puffing his chest out. "There were some lazy colts strutting around trying to flirt with the guards, but they were sorted."
  469. "Fantastic. Swiffer, is it alright if I gave you a hypothetical?"
  470. >"Absolument, mon seigneur!"
  471. >Once again, you looked around to see if anyone was watching before leaning close to the old stallion
  472. "Let's say we had an important guest coming to the castle that didn't want her presence to be known beforehand. Let's say that I was told about this important guest coming and was told to keep quiet about it, but even so I'd like the castle to look in tip-top shape."
  473. >Swiffer's ears perked up, and he stiffened
  474. "Hypothetically, if I were to tell you such a guest was coming--not that they are of course--"
  475. >"Of course."
  476. "--Would you be able to get everything perfect in a few hours?"
  477. >It was Swiffer's turn to look around before he leaned in
  478. >"That would depend, my lord. With your hypothetical, how long would the staff and myself have?"
  479. "I have absolutely no idea. I was just told, hypothetically, that they were coming today, and that they were of the royal sort."
  480. >You made a vague hand motion around your head
  481. "Very much so."
  482. >The old stallion's eyes widened for a moment
  483. >"Putain d'harmonie, I do so wish the lady would TELL ME THESE THINGS," he hissed, gritting his teeth
  484. "I'm sure you'll have everything perfect before anyone comes. Whoever and whatever they may be," you said, patting the stallion's shoulder
  485. >"Of course we will! There is no better staff than the one housed here!" Swiffer said with a stomp of his hoof. "That being said, I still would have liked some time beforehoof. Celestia's sake...."
  486. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I was told this morning, and I wasn't told that much. I have a feeling that this guest is here on business not meant for the ears and eyes of malefolk."
  487. >The stallion scoffed
  488. >"You are a gem and a trésor, Anonymous," he said, bowing his head. "Thank you for the news. I shall gather the staff immediately."
  489. >With that, he disappeared with a pop
  490. >"Anonymous, mon amour!"
  491. >You turned to see that the circle of mares had parted, revealing the "battlefield"
  492. >Both of the mares that had been fighting were on their sides, covered in dirt and panting, weapons underneath or lying on top of them
  493. >Fleur was trotting toward you, still holding her scythe in her magic, not a scratch on her
  494. >"Did you come to watch this old mare fight?" she asked, nuzzling your side
  495. "That didn't look too much like a fight," you replied, looking the fallen ponies over. "At least it looks like they won't need a trip to the castle's ward."
  496. >"Oui. They did quite well," Fleur said, glancing over at them with a nod. "They will make fine knights if they build the proper endurance. Five minutes in their legs were like jello!"
  497. >She spun her weapon around you, before making it disappear with a flash of her horn
  498. >"I saw Swiffer. Was something the matter?"
  499. "Oh no, I was just asking about the cleaning staff," you said. "I was actually coming from the town. There's a few things that need seen to later today when you get the time."
  500. >"Oh bien sûr, mon coeur," Fleur said, smiling as you tucked a lock of sweat-soaked hair behind her ear. "Would you do this old mare a boon and come with her to lunch?"
  501. "As long as you'll join me for a bath first," you replied. "If you come to the dining room like that you're going to give the chefs a heart attack."
  502. >Fleur rolled her eyes, but nonetheless nodded
  503. >You bent down to kiss her cheek, which had her grinning as she turned back around to the group of mares
  504. >"You are dismissed!" Fleur said with a wave of her hoof. "See to your arms and armor, then to the kitchens. Afterward, you have the rest of the evening off."
  505. >A cheer rose among the crowd
  506. >Some mare threw her frilly hat into the air
  507. >While nopony ran, they did walk very quickly away, all in different directions, probably thinking that Fleur would change her mind
  508. >Fleur looked up at you, wiggling her eyebrows
  509. >You laughed, giving her rump a smack
  510. "Come on, lets get back to our room. I'll help you get this armor off."
  511. >"Merci. I would also not be against the lord of the house allowing himself to be defiled in our washroom if he were so inclined."
  512. >You bowed low
  513. "If that is my lady's wish, I'll allowed myself to be defiled anyway you'd like."
  514. >Fleur brushed her tail against your groin
  515. >"Wonderful. If you would follow me then."
  516.  
  517. ~_~_~_~_~
  518.  
  519. >Fleur always hated her showers, but you did your best to make sure she was entertained whenever she was in one
  520. >The entertainment usually consisted of groping, heavy petting, and enough prench kissing to make your tongue almost fall off, but after twenty minutes or so the two of you were reasonably clean
  521. >Fleur had announced that she had wanted to dine in your chambers
  522. >The lunch was good, as was the company
  523. >The two of you spoke for a bit
  524. >Fleur talked about the upcoming harvest, about the knights she would be sending to Canterlot, a letter that she had gotten from some minor noble
  525. >You listened to it all, giving advice here and there as you both ate
  526. >When the plates were taken away, the two of you decided to relax for a bit
  527. >Laying you down onto the bed, Fleur had laid herself on top of you
  528. >Snuggling had quickly turned into tickling, which turned into playful biting, which then turned into wrestling
  529. >She was still riled up from the training fields
  530. >With a normal stallion, she'd have been worried about hurting them getting too rough, but with you she could really try and throw her weight around
  531. >Fleur had her magic, and her years on the battlefield as made her a lean, mean fighting machine, but you were a lot bigger and heavier than her
  532. >Your long arms meant wrestling you was a challenge for the mare, which she loved
  533. >The two of you laughed, even when you fell out of the bed and onto the stone floor along with the pillows and covers
  534. >There was some back and forth for a few minutes as you both tried to overpower the other one
  535. >You did your best, giving as good as you got, but you were no warrior
  536. >Fleur was also surprisingly flexible as a pony, and she always made sure to use that to her advantage
  537. >All it took was you overreaching yourself for one second and you were on your back with her straddling you
  538. >You were panting, looking up at her grinning, self-satisfied face
  539. >"Ta perte, mon amour," she said
  540. >You grunted, trying to wiggle and squirm
  541. >When it was clear that Fleur wasn't going anywhere you went limp, nodding
  542. "Ouais, ma perte," you said.
  543. >With a laugh, Fleur leaned down and started to pepper your face with kisses
  544. >After each kiss was some word of praise or an "I love you."
  545. >Some of it was in English, most of it was in Prench, all of it put a great bit smile on your face
  546. "You keep that up we're not getting anything else done today."
  547. >"Good," was Fleur's reply, the tip of her horn glowing
  548. >Your pants were unbuttoned and slowly pulled down
  549. >Fleur's kisses made their way down your neck toward your chest
  550. >You felt her magical touch on your underwear, when there was a knock on the door
  551. >Both you and Fleur froze
  552. >Eyes narrowing, Fleur whipped her head around
  553. >"Que voulez-vous au nom de Celestia?!" she said, none too happily
  554. >"Is that anyway to greet me, young filly?" a voice replied
  555. >A very familiar voice
  556. >A very Princess Celestia sounding voice
  557. >Fleur's ears perked up
  558. >"I... oh. My apologizes, your majesty," she said, bowing her head
  559. >"Oh, it's perfectly fine, my dear," the princess said, amused. "May I come in, or do you and Anonymous need a minute to collect yourselves?"
  560. >Both you and Fleur scrambled up to your feet and hooves
  561. >The bedsheets were placed back onto the bed
  562. >Your pants were pulled up, and your raging hard-on was tucked into your waistband
  563. >After fixing Fleur's hair and giving the room a quick once-over, you gave the unicorn a thumbs up
  564. >She coughed
  565. >"Please come in, Votre Altesse," she said, opening the door with a spell, revealing the smiling princess. "We thought you'd be coming later today, otherwise we would have been ready to greet you."
  566. >"If you knew the exact time it wouldn't be an unofficial meeting now would it?" Celestia said, trotting into the room. "Oh no, none of that bowing nonsense. Up, up, up, the both of you."
  567. >Walking over, she nuzzled the both of you
  568. >"I have to say though, your castle is spotless."
  569. >She looked over at you, with a raised eyebrow
  570. >"I don't suppose the lord of the house had anything to do about that, hmm?"
  571. >You shrugged
  572. "No idea what you're talking about, your highness. That castle staff are the ones that do the cleaning; I'm just here to look pretty."
  573. >Fleur snorted
  574. >You nudged her
  575. >"Oh I'm sure," the princess said with a wink. "And how is that old ponies' home of yours? What did you call it?"
  576. "A nursing home. Very well, I was just there this morning seeing how things were actually. It looks like the nurses you sent are right at home with us up here in the north"
  577. >"Yes, yes, a nursing home. Very good, very good," Celestia said with a nod. "Luna's actually getting the ball rolling to have one built in Canterlot, and Cadence had shown great interest in building a few in the Crystal Empire."
  578. "I'm glad to hear that," you said. "Good to know that noble's money went to a good place."
  579. >"Far more good than even I know, Anon," Celestia said. "These nursing homes will take the strain off families, or give ponies without anypony the help they so desperately need. Your selfless act will help thousands, maybe far more than that if the other nations take notice."
  580. >Fleur's chest puffed up in pride
  581. >"Oui, I am proud to have such a stallion in my castle," she said. "I would not have him leave for anything in this world."
  582. "Aw, that's sweet, hon--oh shit."
  583. >As you looked back over at the princess, you saw that she was now holding a sword
  584. >"Anon, please kneel," she said
  585. "For what?" you asked. "Also, where did you get that?"
  586. >You must kneel for your reward, and magic," she said, tapping the tip of the blade against the floor. "Now, please, kneel you silly colt."
  587. >You looked over at Fleur, who gave you an encouraging nod
  588. >Slowly, you knelt down.
  589. >"Anonymous, you've done a great service for the crown and Equestria's people. For that service I, Princess Celestia, will give you a boon. A plot of land and a title."
  590. >She tapped the flat of the blade against your shoulder, then lifted it over your head and tapped the other shoulder
  591. >"By my might and by ancient laws I raise you up. Arise a Count, with all the powers and responsibilities that entails."
  592. >The sword disappeared with a pop, and you rose to your feet
  593. "Okay... I'm a Count now?"
  594. >"Yep," Celestia replied with a nod. "You're Equestrian nobility. The first stallion that I've raised in three hundred years I believe."
  595. "That's neat."
  596. >"I think so as well."
  597. "And you said that I had land?"
  598. >"You do. A one-foot by one-foot plot in the Canterlot Gardens. You needed some kind of ownership to officially be considered a noble, and I didn't think you'd want a countship out in the west."
  599. >You just looked at the princess, who looked awfully proud of herself
  600. "Thank you for the title, but can I ask why?"
  601. >"For your service with this nursing home, you silly colt," Celestia said, looking over at Fleur. "And now, there won't be a scandal."
  602. "...A scandal for what?"
  603. >Fleur coughed
  604. >Her horn glowed, and a small box appeared in front of you
  605. >She opened it, revealing an absolutely breathtaking ring
  606. >"It is in poor form for a duchess to marry a commoner, no matter how much she loves him," Fleur said, not looking you in the eye. "Pardonnez-moi, mon amour. I wished to be proper and ask your mother to name her dowry before bringing this to the princesses, but--"
  607. >That was all she was able to say before you, newly-made lord that you were, tears forming in your eyes, tackled the mare to the ground, much to Celestia's amusement
  608. >You were Anon
  609. >And life was good
  610.  
  611. Epilogue:
  612. >Be Fleur de Lis
  613. >Marchioness of Normarey
  614. >You were in your office, leafing through some paperwork
  615. >Yourself and your husband, the Marquis Anonymous had just come from the capital for the Gala
  616. >You hated the Gala, and most of the bottom feeders that stalked the castle during that night, but even so you couldn't help but smile at the thought of Anon
  617. >Your husband
  618. >Your etalion
  619. >Though you couldn't see it, a ring sat at the base of your horn
  620. >You had your grandfathers ring adjusted for the human's finger, which he wore with the utmost pride
  621. >The wedding had been lovely
  622. >Simple, small, intimate
  623. >Most of your cousins had been furious that you hadn't invited them
  624. >They wanted it to be a lavish thing that you bankrupted yourself on
  625. >A month of partying, fountains of wine and mountains of salt
  626. >All nonsense
  627. >There were a hundred ponies there, and if you were able there would have been less
  628. >To your pride however, all four princesses had come to witness your union
  629. >Princess Cadence herself had done the honor of marrying you
  630. >You wished your mother and father could have been there to see it...
  631. >You shook your head, picking up a quill
  632. >As you did, your door opened
  633. >Anon poked his head in
  634. >"Hey honey."
  635. >Your smile grew
  636. "Oh mon amour, what do you need?" you asked
  637. >Anon stared back at you with gorgeous, hopeful eyes
  638. >"I need you to do the thing."
  639. "Pardon?"
  640. >"The thing. You know. THE. THING."
  641. >It took several seconds, but realization came to mind, making you roll your eyes
  642. "Really?"
  643. >Anon just nodded
  644. >You snorted
  645. >Silly colts...
  646. >Even so, you sat up in your seat and cleared your throat
  647. "Hon, hon, hon!"
  648. >Anon smiled
  649. >"Thanks sweetie," he said. "Love you!"
  650. >With that, he closed your door, going off to do Celestia knows what
  651. >You chuckled, returning to your paperwork
  652. >That was going to be the father of your foals someday...
  653. >Harmony help you...

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