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Pony Reaper (Kinder)

By SunriseLightbeam
Created: 2021-06-29 17:35:02
Expiry: Never

  1. >be anon
  2. >hear knock on door
  3. "who is it"
  4. >knocking is louder
  5. "ok ok ok I'm coming"
  6. >getting off your fat ass you go and open the door
  7. >"BooOooooOOoo"
  8. >there stands a skelatal mare in a black cloak carrying a scythe
  9. "is it halloween- I mean nightmare night already?"
  10. >"Wha-NO, I am the pony reaper! BOO"
  11. >uhuh.. sure
  12. "Yeaah, I have some candy if you really want but next time wait till nightmare night ok?"
  13. >"Are.. are you serious.."
  14. "Yes yes I have all kinds of candy want to come in and take your pick?"
  15. >"oo yeah I would- WAIT no no no no you are supposed to be afraid, dont you get it? its your time to go the ballbit in the sky.. the infinite maredonalds, where everything is made of pillows"
  16. >You stare blankly and blink a few times
  17. "Uhm.. no thanks bye bye"
  18. >You shut the door and go back to your chair
  19. >knock knock knock
  20. "GO AWAY OR ILL CALL THE PONICE"
  21. >"WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO?"
  22. "ILL TELL THEM YOU HUGGED ME WITHOUT MY PERMISSION"
  23. >silence
  24. >Heh always works
  25. >"BUT BUT ANON! THE BALLBIT! EVERYPONY I EVER COME TO ALWAYS IS MORE EXCITED ABOUT THE BALL PIT THEN LEAVING THEIR LOVED ONES BEHIND"
  26. >ponies.. ballpits
  27. >Time to pull out your final card
  28. "FUCK OFF"
  29. >"HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY YOU, I WILL COME TOMMOROW YOU HAVE ONE DAY BEFORE I FORCE YOU TO COME WITH"
  30. >Stupid ponies
  31. >they never learn
  32.  
  33. >Day 2
  34. >Be sitting in chair again
  35. >this time eating pop corn watching a movie
  36. >"ANON IM HERE! GET YOUR FLANK OUT HERE"
  37. >uhhhg
  38. >getting up and going to the door and opening it there she stands again
  39. "what want"
  40. >"what want! ANON your time as come.. cmon lets go to the big play place, do you not get it? ENDLESS HAY NUGGIES! YOU NEVER EVEN GET FULL YOU CAN ALWAYS EAT MORE AND NEVER GET A FAT FLANK! ANON CMON! LETS GO"
  41. "woah woah too loud, I cant eat hay anyways why would I want to die?"
  42. >"Die? you dont have to die to get to the afterlife.. where did you learn that"
  43. "Oh I dont know, earth?"
  44. >She gasps
  45. >"T-they teach that? where youre from? h-how could they.."
  46. "I don't know its just how it goes"
  47. >"I-im sorry Anon"
  48. >She hugs you
  49. >somehow her bones and coat are quiet warm and nice
  50. >"Are you ready to go yet?"
  51. "I still can't eat hay what am I going to eat?"
  52. >"Did nopony tell you? just ask the nearest pone angel and they will bring it too you soon"
  53. "No one told me jack shit about this"
  54. >"ANON watch what you say, you can still end up in the bad place"
  55. "bad place?"
  56. >"mhm.. its just like the good place but you DONT get naptime"
  57. >ponies..
  58. "I dont nap"
  59. >she gasps then jumps back
  60. >"H-how? even I have to nap sometimes.."
  61. "ok ok fine ill come with"
  62. >"want to say any goodbyes?"
  63. "hmm.. yeah can you just reapear when I next snap my fingers?"
  64. >"uhm ok?"
  65. "Im going to go see some people"
  66.  
  67. >You walk down to twilights castle
  68. "Twilight? are you in here"
  69. >>"Uhhg what do you want Anonymous? Didn't I tell you to leave me and my friends alone?"
  70. >bitch
  71. "Bitch"
  72. >>"*Gasp* Anon! h-how could you say that to me?"
  73. "Youve been a pain in my ass since you got those dumb flippers"
  74. >>"HEY I'm a princess of equestria how dare you say such things to me GAURDS!"
  75. >in an instant like 10 ponies armed with pillows apear
  76. >You snap your fingers and a black fire errupts from the air next to you
  77. >A swirl just as black apears and a gateway to.. somewhere opens
  78. >>"By celestia.."
  79. >everypony is frozen in fear
  80. >The Pony Reaper walks out of the portal and all the gaurds collapse and twilight is shaking
  81. >"ready to go Anon?"
  82. "Yeah, oh yeah Twilight? I hid that book I borrowed last week, you will NEVER find it"
  83. >she cant even speak"
  84. "bye bye"
  85. >you leave with the pony reaper through the portal
  86. >once through the black door you enter the pure white tunnel
  87. "woah"
  88. >exiting the other side you see.. A massive gate of pure gold
  89. >a small tiny little desk with a white pony, yellow hair and blue eyes stands there
  90. >>"Hello? Hia Reapy whats that.. thing with you?"
  91. >"It's Anonymous! the human.. Silly aryanne just because other Equestrian creatures aren't allowed here that doesn't mean interdimentional creatures who landed here don't get to go"
  92. >>"Hmpf! fiine go on ahead 'Anonymous' "
  93. "You're pretty you know that?"
  94. >>"R-really? wow- I mean uh.. sorry not interested in non ponies"
  95. "eh thats ok, I'm gonna go see about that free food!"
  96. >>"bye anon! come by some time later
  97. >you walk up to gate an open it
  98. "I-it's.. beautiful"
  99.  
  100. >end

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