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/RGRE/ - Tuftbeard Flurry [WIP]

By Eccentric_Anon
Created: 3rd September 2021 09:44:01 PM
7th February 2022 02:08:52 AM

  1. >You're Anon.
  2. >You got summoned to The Crystal Empire by the Grand Poobah of love herself, Princess Cadence.
  3. >Apparently, she has some sort of job offer for you.
  4. >Not only will they pay you a lot, but you also get free room and board at their palace.
  5. >Confirming with the guards, they let you into the room you were designated to meet with her and her husband at.
  6. >Her husband being Shining Armor, the brother of the big purple autist ruling the town you just arrived from.
  7. >A recent memory comes to mind as you think of Twilight.
  8. >When you got on the train to The Crystal Empire in the stopover in Canterlot, you looked to Canterlot's Castle.
  9. >An image briefly filled your head of Twilight actually running Equestria in place of Celestia and Luna in all her autistic glory.
  10. >The terrible thought made you shudder.
  11. >You calmed down after realizing that such a thing will never happen, and that Celestia isn't dumb enough to do that!
  12. >You snap out of the slight flashback and head into the door
  13. >"Ah, Anon you made it! Please, take a seat!"
  14. >The pink pony princess points to a chair across from her and her husband.
  15. >Shining armor starts
  16. >"So the reason we called you here today is...well..."
  17. >Cadence cuts in
  18. >Iiiiiit's about our daughter."
  19. "What about her?"
  20. >"Well, her previous guardian quit last week and we need somepony to, y'know..."
  21. >"Watch over her...maybe...help us undo the mistakes we made raising her?"
  22. >She smiles a forced smile after the last part.
  23. >Immediately you get suspicious, you don't like the sound of this.
  24. "What...mistakes?"
  25. >As if on queue, a loud female voice rings out throughout the castle
  26. >"DADDY! GET ME SOME HAY-TENDIES! NOW!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
  27. >Oh.
  28. >Oh no...
  29. "Oh my god, THAT is how badly the both of you fucked up?"
  30. >The two of them look like a tsunami of shame just hit them
  31. >Shining armor nervously replies:
  32. >"Yeah...we know...we're kinda hoping maybe a positive stallion influence on her might help her change for the better! One that isn't me I mean."
  33. >Cadence returns to the conversation too
  34. >"Right now, Flurry doesn't really DO that much. Most of the time she just sits on her flank all day, smoking weed and jilling off while she plays that stupid game of hers!"
  35. >You knew vidya existed in Equestria, but you could never afford the magic-based computers they had here. Naturally, your interest is a bit piqued.
  36. "What kind of game are we talking about here?"
  37. >The two lovers answer you at the exact same time.
  38. >"Hyperspace Hyperwars Online!"
  39. >"Oh I hate that game! I told you that you shouldn't have introduced her to Hyperspace Hyperwars Shiny!"
  40. >The prince lowers his head in guilt
  41. >"Yeah...it was my fault she got into it. I introduced her to the tabletop game when she was younger and we had a lot of fun together! But Flurry found the MMO a few year ago and got really addicted to it. The only time she isn't playing it is when she's asleep or using the bathroom. And I don't even know if the last part is true!"
  42. >They never thought to nip it in the bud earlier?
  43. "You didn't try to take it away from her? And what's with the 'hay-tendies' anyway?"
  44. >"Oh! I better go get them, thanks for reminding me!"
  45. >Shining Armor bolts up and runs out of the room, leaving you with the princess
  46. >"We tried that already! Despite her laziness, she's always had very powerful magic, even when she was a baby! The tantrum she threw when we did was so severe she nearly tore the castle apart!"
  47. >"And the hay-tenders? It's her favorite food. She eats them nearly every day, and we have to bribe her with them and other perks to get her to clean her room or eat more than just that. I call the system we use Good Filly Points!"
  48. >They have fucking Good Boy Points for their daughter?
  49. >You feel like just walking away now with how much of a disaster they've created in their home.
  50. >Sensing your hesitence, she ups the ante
  51. >"Please Anon, you're the last option we have! You'll get bonus pay depending on your progress in addition to the pay and perks you've already been offered!
  52. >Well, the pay was already insanely good. And now you're being offered bonus money if you manage to get their daughter to budge a little. And what, in return you just have to hang out with some pony neckbeard?
  53. >Tuftbeard I think they call it, if you remember the term correctly.
  54. >You can't believe you're doing this...
  55. *sigh* "Alright, I'll do it"
  56. >Candyass grows excited faster than you think even Pinkie would when she hears your acceptance.
  57. >"R-really? That's great! Oh thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou! I'll show you to her now!
  58.  
  59. >You ascend the many stairs of the palace and arrive at a door that has 'Flurry Heart' chiselled into the crystalline door.
  60. >You slowly turn the nob and enter.
  61. >The smell hits you the minute you open the door.
  62. >A putrid mix of body odor, unwashed horse pussy, weed, mold, and general filth hits your nose like a truck.
  63. >Stifling a gag, you look around the mostly unlit room and see that the only source of light is a few crystals, and a computer with a triple monitor setup.
  64. >Sitting in-front of it in her computer chair is a mare with a greasy, disheveled pink and blue mane, light pink coat and wearing a dirty purple hoodie.
  65. >She stops eating her hay-tenders and turns around, and sizes you up with her bespectacled eyes.
  66. >"Who're you? You the new servant? Well, I'm running low on honey mustard for my hay-tendies because dad didn't give me enough, go grab me some more!"
  67. "No, I'm not a servant. I'm-
  68. >Immediately, she does that loud voice Luna sometimes uses
  69. >"HEY MOM, THERE'S SOME WEIRD MONKEY-THING IN MY ROOM, PROBABLY GONNA TRY TO KILL ME!"
  70. >Cadence enters the room right after she's done yelling
  71. >"Sweetie, this is Anon! He's your new guardian!"
  72. >Flurry begins laughing
  73. >"Pfft, I told you before mom, I don't need a guardian! I'm like, 23!"
  74. >She's 23? Well, you're passed being surprised anymore
  75. >"I'm afraid this isn't up for debate Flurry. I just hired him, and besides, you'll have a new friend to hang out with!"
  76. >Flurry must not like this, since she's starting to look frustrated
  77. >"I already have all the friends I need online mom! Plus, he's a stallion! He couldn't learn to play H.H.O. if he tried!"
  78. >"Whether he could or not young lady, he's going to be your new guardian! That's final!"
  79. >A look of anger grows on Flurry Hearts face.
  80. >You see her take a deep breath. Uh oh.
  81. >"NO GUARDIAN!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
  82. >Flurry begins sperging out and throwing light objects around in her room with her telekinesis.
  83. >You reflexively cover your ears as her loud reeeeeeing begins hurting them.
  84. >"Ok, ok, look! I'll give you 50 Good Filly Points if you let him hang out with you, alright?"
  85. >the reeing begins dying down
  86. >"-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeee...50 every day?"
  87. >*sigh* "Yes...every day!"
  88. >"DEAL!"
  89. >What have you gotten yourself into.
  90. >"Ok you two, play nice! Oh and Anon? The palace kitchens will have dinner ready in an hour, you're welcome to join us!"
  91. "Thanks, I'll be there!"
  92. >Cadence closes the door behind you, leaving you with the princess of stank.
  93. >After the door closes, she turns her chair around and starts playing H.H.O. again.
  94. "So...this is Hyperspace Hyperwars Online huh?"
  95. >"Yep, it is."
  96. "Mind telling me a bit about it Flurry?"
  97. >She quickly turns around and you could swear you see a twinkle in her eye in the darkness of her room
  98. >"It's a setting of grimdark fantasy set in the far future of the 41st millennium where everything goes to shit. The God-Empress of Ponykind is in a state of sort of, but not really undeath. And ponykind is surrounded on all sides by all kinds of fatherbuckers who want to do them in. The dark goddesses of The Bend and the Space Mare-ines that betrayed the God-Empress and began serving them as the forces of Disorder. Then there's the dumb but tough Boar Gurlz, Sludgenoids, C'eti, Cadaverons, and a whole lot more! Only Space Mare-ines, Disorder, Sludgenoids, and Boarz are playable though."
  99. >Might be best to start building the friendship with this, the thing she's obsessed over.
  100. "So, which one do you play?"
  101. >She takes a drag of her bong, and blows out a cloud of smoke
  102. >"Of course *cough* I play a Space Mare-ine! They're the *cough* best faction in the game! The only other one that's halfway decent is Disorder. The Sludgenoids and Boarz both suck clit!"
  103. >"I could go on all day about the lore! But I know stallions aren't interested in this kind of thing soooooo...I'm just gonna get back to it."
  104. "Could I maybe watch you play? I do have time to kill before dinner. Plus if I'm gonna be your guardian, it'd be nice to get to know you."
  105. >"Wai-you me-want to watch me pl-? Y-you too!"
  106. >Taking that as a yes, you walk closer to get a better view of her monitors.
  107. >Not too close though, because the rancid smell would probably make you vomit if you did.
  108.  
  109. >Flurry goes around doing your standard RPG fare with a few pauses to eat her hay-tendies, or take a rip of her bong. Raiding, crafting, dungeons, etc. >Mainly though, she PvPs.
  110. >And from what you're seeing? She's really damn good at it too.
  111. >"Yeah! Eat my pussy bitch! Look at this dumb cunt, she's over here playing a Sludgenoid! And a bucking Beserkenoid at that!"
  112. >Another thing you learned, is for a princess, she has an incredibly filthy mouth.
  113. >You wonder if her parents ever washed her mouth out with soap when she was younger. Though from what you've seen so far, if they did, then she probably chimped out and they gave her GFP for it as an apology.
  114. >You continue watching her play, until you're interrupted by a knock at your door
  115. >You jump a bit from the sudden noise, breaking you out of the trance of pixelated violence on the screen as Flurry uses her chainblade to split another Slugenoid player in half
  116. >"Anon! Dinner is ready if you want to join Shining and me!"
  117. >It's been an hour already?!
  118. "Uh, coming! Hey Flurry, you wanna join me?"
  119. >Without even looking up from the screen she replies
  120. >"Nah, I'm good. I had a whole pile of hay-tendies. Plus, they never eat hay-tendies down there. And apparently, I need to keep teaching this uppity retard a lesson about why she shouldn't play a Sludgenoid!"
  121. >She's hooked on the game for now, so you know you'll get nowhere, so you just head down to join her parents for dinner
  122. >You're surprised by what you see.
  123. >STEAK!
  124. "Oh my god, steak? How'd you know?"
  125. >Cadence smiles as she chews and swallows
  126. >"Oh simple! My sister-in-law told me about human's dietary needs! She listed off everything your species eats, and can't. It was...a really long list!"
  127. >Figures Twiggles wouldn't pass up a chance at creating a long list belting off every last thing you can and can't eat, though you do have to thank her for this outcome later.
  128. >Sitting down, you cut up the steak and take a bite.
  129. >It's...delicious! Even better when it's been so long since you've had one. Because poners are herbivores and they have to import stuff like this from Griffinstone, it's even more expensive than on Earth.
  130. >"So Anon, I notice Flurry didn't start screeching at you, I take it everything is going fine so far?"
  131. "Yes, mainly I watched her play her game. Time flew by pretty fast, it was dinner before I knew it!"
  132. >Bad response, Cadence looks concerned
  133. >"Oh no. Anon, don't get sucked in like she has! H.H.O. is incredibly addictive, I've heard tales from the parent forum I frequent on the Ponynet about how their own children were lost to all the violence and carnage of that game! Even one of Twilight's friends was addicted to it for a while!"
  134. >You never heard of this before, if you had to guess, probably Rainbow Dash, she seems like the kind that would like this kind of mayhem.
  135. >"They almost never got Fluttershy to stop playing!"
  136. >Now THAT surprises you, though Fluttershy always did give you the feeling that there was a lot more to her underneath.
  137. >"Speaking of, I mentioned earlier you'll get bonuses for each one of these you accomplish? You'll get a thousand bits for each one of these completed in addition to your base pay."
  138. >She floats a scroll over to you.
  139. >After wiping your hands to make sure you don't get it dirty, you open it
  140.  
  141. >Goals for Princess Flurry Heart:
  142. >Get her to stop playing video games all day.
  143. >Get her to start regularly going outside.
  144. >Improve Flurry's hygeine, both herself and her room.
  145. >Help her lose weight.
  146. >You never got too good of a look given how dimly lit her room was, but she did look a bit on the chubby side. Must be the alicorn metabolism why she isn't a hambeast. Her aunt could eat two or three times as much as you could at half your size!
  147. >You continue reading
  148. >Get her to stop eating only Hay-tenders every day.
  149. >Move Flurry away from Good Filly Points.
  150. >Help Flurry find a coltfriend, additional bonus when she gets married.
  151.  
  152. >Each goal met after evaluation will have an additional 1000 ~~Good Fil~~ Bits added to that week's pay
  153. >You can't help but notice what was struck through.
  154. >Is Cadence really that reliant on her Good Boy Points system?
  155.  
  156. >After dinner you decide to settle down to bed for the night, planning on how you're going to help them accomplish these goals.
  157. >Flurry's very addicted to video games. Especially to Hyperspace Hyperwars Online.
  158. >Hmm...Maybe you could lure her into a bet to get her to do something on this list?
  159. >After all, to accomplish anything here you'll need to establish new good habits.
  160. >Not just help her break bad ones.
  161. >You're certain she'd beat your ass in H.H.O. if you challenged her in it. Not to mention the time it'd take to gear up for that, and the risk of getting addicted like she is.
  162. >Cadence was pretty insistent on you not playing it due to how addictive it is.
  163. >...You know, you always did like RTS games back on Earth.
  164. >Maybe there's a Hyperspace Hyperwars RTS?
  165. >With your new salary, you SHOULD be able to afford a computer here when you get your first paycheck.
  166. >Maybe you could get one, find a Hyperspace Hyperwars RTS, gitgud, and get Flurry to play against you in it.
  167. >But for now, it's getting harder to stay awake.
  168. >The bed here is even more comfortable than what you had back in Ponyville!
  169. >Guess that's one of the many perks of living in the lap of luxury
  170. >You fall asleep rather quickly
  171. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  172. >"OH, YOU NOOB! WHAT IN TARTARUS WAS THAT?!"
  173. >"THEY NEVER SHOULD'VE BUFFED BOAR STRANGEGURLZ, MARE THIS PATCH SUCKS ASS!"
  174. >Suddenly, your peaceful slumber is disturbed by the sound of a screaming marefoal.
  175. >"YEAH, WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHY I STILL PLAY THIS GAME WITH ALL OF YOU DYKES SHITTING IT UP ALL THE TIME!!"
  176. >You sleepily make your way to Flurry's room to put an end to this.
  177. >You knock on her door
  178. "Hey uh, Flurry? Can you maybe not yell? You woke me up."
  179. >"Shut up colt, this is serious business! Somepony is WRONG on the ponynet!"
  180. >She pauses for a bit
  181. >"Yeah it's a stallion, so what? You bitches don't like dick anyway!"
  182. >Against your better judgement, you turn the nob and enter. Once again, you brave the smell.
  183. "Uh, sooooo what's going on?"
  184. >Flurry turns to you slightly, but quickly
  185. >"I was trying to explain to these half-wits why Boar Strangegurlz NEVER should have gotten a PvP buff in the patch that dropped tonight. That is, until they heard YOU! Now they're wanting me to take a picture of your dick!"
  186. >Wait, WHAT?
  187. "Wait, WHAT?"
  188. >"Don't worry though, I'm not. Instead, I'm about to explain very careful to these carpet-munchers why they're wrong about Boar Strangegurlz needing the buff!"
  189. >A muffled voice comes through the mic
  190. >"Yes you are too! Shut up!"
  191. >Ok, this is going on long enough. And you're sure that you're not the only one being kept awake by her gamer rage.
  192. "Hey Flurry, turn off your mic one sec. I want to give you something."
  193. >You hear a cacophony of mare voices coming through her mic.
  194. >You THINK you can make out one of them saying that Flurry's about to lose her virginity.
  195. >Flurry clicks a button on her headset cord quickly and begins chiding you
  196. >"COME ON COLT! You've just embarrassed me in front of my friends! They're not gonna let me live this down for WEEKS!"
  197. >Her anger simmers just a bit.
  198. >"But, what? What did you want to give me? Make it quick, because I gotta get back to teaching my brainlet 'friends' why they're wron-GUH!"
  199. >Her sentence hitches along with her breath as you begin scritching her behind the ear
  200. >You've learned back in Ponyville that this works when some mare starts getting angry or going on a tangent about something.
  201. >Like when Flurry's Aunt wouldn't stop sperging out about something, or going on some long ramble about some subject she's interested in at the moment.
  202. >Flurry closes her eyes and leans into your hand as you continue.
  203. >You're gonna need to wash your hands afterwards though, as you're basically scratching not just her ear, but all the grease and grime that has accumulated since...whenever it was she last bathed or showered.
  204. >Though, it's a worthy sacrifice to get her to calm down so you can sleep.
  205. >After a while, you break the contact with her.
  206. >Her head moved with your hand as you were moving it away.
  207. "Feeling better?"
  208. >Flurry lazily opens her eyes
  209. >"Nnguuuh-yeah..."
  210. >Now, while you have her right here.
  211. "Maybe you can go do something else, and get back with your friends later."
  212. >You notice now that she has deep dark circles around her eyes.
  213. "In fact, you do look kinda tired, maybe you could get some sleep too."
  214. >"nnnn-nnkay..."
  215. >Time for the finisher.
  216. >You pick Flurry up into your arms from her computer chair and carry her to her bed.
  217. >Thankfully, being an alicorn, she has the magic of pegasi to make her lightweight
  218. >She's too tired to offer any resistance to you carrying her away from her beloved pastime.
  219. >Almost as soon as you place her onto the mattress though, she passes out.
  220. >Well, that seems like a job well done!
  221. >You begin to walk out of her room and careful close the door behind you.
  222. >You re-enter your room to fall asleep, thankfully not being interrupted any more during the night.
  223.  
  224. >You're Flurry Heart
  225. >Your eyes slowly open after you passed out last night.
  226. >Wait a minute...this isn't your chair!
  227. >Usually, you just keep going in H.H.O. until you fall asleep in it but...you're in your bed for once.
  228. >What happened last night?
  229. >You were mad at your friends for being wrong about the Strangegurlz buff. Then Anon was going to show you something, you felt good around your ear, and-
  230. >You feel your face turn beet red as the memory comes flooding back to you.
  231. >Oh my Celestia...a stallion actually touched you!
  232. >Does this mean you're married to Anon now?
  233. >And your friends...they probably think you are by now too!
  234. >And oh, the wasted gear and Imperial Thaler!
  235. >You jump out of bed and go back to your battlestation.
  236. >You got logged out due to inactivity.
  237. >You log back in and see the Ubermareine you've been building up since the day you first played.
  238. >Crystal_Storm1337
  239. >Your online handle since...forever!
  240. >You tab out and back onto your Platoon's server on Harmony to rejoin the voice call.
  241. "Hey girls, I'm back"
  242. >"Whoa, hey Storm! You were gone for like, 12 hours! Was he really that good?"
  243. >She's already past the age to be a witch, why does she care?
  244. "No Belletower, we didn't have sex. He just...scratched behind my ear for a while and I was too tired to come back!"
  245. >She pauses for a bit
  246. >"Whoa! I know it's not losing your virginity but, you're moving on up in the world!"
  247. >You're itching to get back to H.H.O. and you've already lost enough time sleeping, and now you're wasting more just talking here.
  248. >You've got some preparation to do!
  249. "Yeah, maybe I am. But that's besides the point! I'm still good for the raid in 15 minutes. Cryptworld of Tartaros has a new chainblade that I want. It's supposed to be meta now in PVP! You ready to kill some bucking Cadaverons?"
  250. >Belle squeaks out her response
  251. >"Yeah! The new boltbow looks cool too! It'd look sick on my transmog!"
  252. >Hopefully the rest of the girls will make it, you'd rather not deal with some random assclown that needs to be carried the whole way through.
  253.  
  254. >You are yet again Anon and you're furiously scrubbing your hands right now.
  255. >In your haste to return to sleep, you forgot to wash your hands.
  256. >As a result, the skin on your hands and fingers is irritated from the alicorn grease that got on them from your scritching session with Flurry.
  257. >You've gotta get her acquainted with some soap...and fast!
  258. >You have a plan already, but it's only day two of your new job. Payday is still a bit away.
  259. >Meaning that plan is beyond your reach for now.
  260. >You dry your hands and reread the scroll Candence gave you to find a project to begin with in the meantime.
  261. >Hmmm...the hay-tender addiction seems simple enough.
  262. >After being stuck in this world for over a year now, you've learned a really important fact about mares.
  263. >One that seems nigh-universal.
  264. >Mares are suckers for home cooking.
  265. >You actually made the mistake once of letting it slip to Rainbow Dash that you can cook.
  266. >She never stopped pestering you to feed her from then until you moved here.
  267. >If the way to a mare's heart is through her stomach like they say, then you might have a shot to break the princess' addiction to 'hay-tendies'
  268. >You still know your family recipe by heart, and it seems like a way to start off strong.
  269. >After all, who doesn't like spaghetti?
  270. >You're putting the finishing touches on the spaghetti you're cooking for Flurry.
  271. >When suddenly…
  272. >"DADDY! HAY-TENDIES NOOOOW!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
  273. >Right on cue, and just in time!
  274. >Shining Armor runs into the kitchen to fetch his daughter's favorite meal.
  275. >"Sorry Anon, I gotta grab this fast!"
  276. >Shining Armor seems stressed over this.
  277. >Not for long if all goes to plan though.
  278. "Actually, could I take them to her? I actually have a plan to put an end to this 'hay-tendies' obsession."
  279. >The change in his body language after hearing that shows that he feels like the weight of the world just got lifted off of his shoulders.
  280. >"Really, that's great! So what's your plan?"
  281. >Gesturing to the bowl of spaghetti you're platting up, you begin to explain
  282. "This right here is the plan, an old family recipe passed down straight from old granny Sconosciuta herself!"
  283. >"Great! I really hope it works. We've tried getting her to eat other food before but it never worked unless we bribed her. Maybe this time it'll be different though!"
  284. >He begins using telekinesis to grab a bag from the kitchen's refrigerator
  285. >"I'll help you get the hay-tenders you need while you finish up, you gotta get it up there fast though. She only gets worse if it takes too long!"
  286. >This, and all the other things they've said...What has Flurry put these two through all these years?
  287. >After a little while, the tenders are ready. And you begin your trek to her room to put your plan into action.
  288. >You'll be honest though, his mention of them trying this kind of thing before is making you wonder if this will even work.
  289. >It SHOULD based on what you know, but then again, Flurry isn't a normal mare.
  290. >Here we go…
  291. >You open the door, once again getting hit by the rancid smell of her NEET den for the third time.
  292. >Payday can't come fast enough.
  293. >"Huh? Anon, you brought me hay-tendies?"
  294. >Flurry looks at you quizzically
  295. >And it's hard to see in here but, is that a slight blush you see on her face?
  296. "Yeah, I did. I also brought you something I cooked up just for you!"
  297.  
  298. >"Yeah, I did. I also brought you something I cooked up just for you!"
  299. >Once more you're Flurry and
  300. >Oh, by your Aunt's book collection, he's brought you your hay-tendies?
  301. >AND COOKED FOR YOU?
  302. >Maybe you ARE married to him now after all!
  303. >You know he's some kind of alien or whatever, is this their marriage ritual?
  304. >Maybe the scritching was but…
  305. >Maybe now this is...a mating ritual?
  306. >Your face goes red as a beet again.
  307. >Oh shit, it might be finally happening.
  308. >Is he going to impregnate you? CAN he even impregnate you? If he can, what would you even name them? How will you even explain this to your parents?
  309. >"Flurry"?
  310. >Hey mom and dad, the alien you hired to be my guardian did a marriage ritual with me in secret and now you two are going to be grandparents!
  311. >Your dad would be hysterical for sure!
  312. >"Hey Flurry!"
  313. >And then there's the thought of what your progeny will even LOOK like. Will they be a pony? Like him? Some kind of weird hybrid like the Sludgenoid's Genethieves?
  314. >Your thoughts of abomination hybrids are interrupted by a hand waving Infront of your face.
  315. >"-llo? Equestria to Flurry! Your food is getting cold!"
  316. >You shake free of your thoughts and magic a hay-tendie into the ramekin of honey-mustard and into your mouth.
  317. >Mmmm, so good!
  318. >Now, let's see what he cooked special for you.
  319. "S-spagoots!"
  320. >The castle chef's food is usually boring. Nothing like your favorite meal.
  321. >But your probably-husband made this, so maybe you'll give it a shot…
  322.  
  323. >You're Anon again
  324. >It's working
  325. >Flurry is going for the spaghetti.
  326. >Spagoots, as she called it.
  327. >Which you have to admit is cute, if not childish.
  328. >You see her hesitantly floating it to her mouth.
  329. >She places the fork in her mouth and begins chewing…
  330. >After what feels like an eternity, her eyes go wide.
  331. >Now, what happened next was something you weren't prepared to see.
  332. >You had a good feeling she'd like it but…
  333. >What you didn't think would happen is her burying her muzzle in the bowl and furiously lapping up your meal like a pig.
  334. >Or like Pinkie. You've seen her swallow a whole cake before without choking and Twiggles wouldn't even tell you how it was possible.
  335. >After she's done, Flurry looks like pic related
  336. (There's not that much art of nerd Flurry, so just pretend that's her)
  337. >You decide to break the silence
  338. "So uh...good?"
  339. >Flurry nods and licks her lips to consume the remaining sauce around them.
  340. >She has spaghetti all over her face and on her glasses.
  341. >She even managed to get some in her mane!
  342. >Infact…
  343. "You know Flurry, you got a lot of my spaghetti all over you. Maybe you should take a bath to get it all off!"
  344. >She shakes her head in response
  345. >"Nah, no need. Watch this!"
  346. >You watch as the sauce and noodles float off of her, into the air and into her mouth.
  347. >Well, it was worth a shot at least.
  348. >Flurry turns back to her addiction while consuming the other that you brought alongside your cooking.
  349. "Say Flurry,  I'm curious. Why exactly do you like hay-tenders so much anyway?"
  350. >In a flash she turns around and looks nearly insulted.
  351. >"Are you kidding? They're like, the best food ever! I've been enjoying them ever since I was a foal. Are you seriously telling me you've never tried them Anon?"
  352. >She doesn't know you can't eat hay?
  353. >Oh right, her mother and aunt knows but she doesn't.
  354. "I haven't. Actually, my kind can't even eat hay."
  355. >She's gone from being near insulted to looking kind of sad.
  356. >"Oh...really? That sucks! Why is that anyway?"
  357. >Time for an impromptu biology lesson.
  358.  
  359. "Well, my species, humans, all lack the digestive system needed to actually break down the cellulose that hay and grass has."
  360. >She blinks a few times
  361. >"Cellu-what now? You're sounding like my Aunt!"
  362. >"But seriously though, I'm sorry you can't enjoy these. It must be hard, I know it would be for me if I could never have them again."
  363. >She pauses for a bit, like she's considering something.
  364. >"You know, my parents have been on my case about my hay-tendies for a while. I don't even know what the big deal is! I mean, my mom eats 'peetzer' practically every other day, how's that any different?"
  365. >First spagoots, now peetzer.
  366. "Peetzer? What?"
  367. >She laughs a bit at your confusion.
  368. >"Yeah, it's what my mom calls pizza! Tartarus, their first date was at a pizza parlor my mom worked part-time at when she wasn't in school or babysitting Aunt Twilight!"
  369. >That's actually kind of funny. Looks like the rumors of Cadence being a pizza-fiend were actually true.
  370. >Though, you'll need to talk with her about this. It's going to be harder to break this addiction if she feels vindicated.
  371. >You just hope you won't have to break ANOTHER food addiction.
  372. >"Actually...you're in good with my parent's right? Can you get them off my flank for me?"
  373. >If looks could kill, you'd be dying of a heart attack from the puppy dog eyes she's giving you right now.
  374. "I'll...see if I can't work something out. I'll be back, I so have the mess in the kifchen to clean up."
  375. >She turns back to her Vidya
  376. >"Alright, have fun babe!"
  377. >Whoa, did she just call you…
  378. "Wait, what was that?"
  379. >The reply she gives sounds slightly nervous.
  380. >N-nothing! You must've heard something from the game! H-have fun in the kitchen!"
  381. >Weird.
  382.  
  383. >You head out of Flurry's room to go down stairs.
  384. >You have a pot and various other kitchenware to clean after a successful first attempt at getting her to eat something else.
  385. >"Anon! Did it work?!"
  386. >Suddenly a pink blur jumps out of nowhere and jump-scares you.
  387. "Gah! Damn it! Don't do that!"
  388. >A wild Cadence has appeared.
  389. >"Oops, sorry! I didn't mean to scare you! But, did it work? Did she eat it?"
  390. >She looks almost desperate to know what happened.
  391. "Yeah, she ate it alright. She put Pinkie Pie to shame with the way she wolfed it down."
  392. >The tension immediately eases upon hearing the good news.
  393. >"Whew! That's actually impressive! Shiny and I could never get Flurry to eat anything else unless we offered Good Filly Points to her. And even then it was a tough sell!"
  394. >Since the topic is on food, you figure you might as well strike while the iron is hot.
  395. "By the way Princess, while I have you here, I wanted to ask you about something."
  396. >The tension returns as she braces for whatever you have to say.
  397. >"Go on…"
  398. "So, Flurry told me something interesting. She told me that she doesn't see her addiction to hay-tendi-...DERS as a problem."
  399. "Because you, and I quote: "eat peetzer practically every other day."
  400. >Cadence looks shocked at the accusation levied at her.
  401. >"I do not! I mean, sure I enjoy a succulent peetzer like, two or three times a week but-"
  402. >You can't believe this. You really ARE dealing with another food addiction!
  403. "Three times a week IS 'practically every other day' princess."
  404. >Her shock worsens as you call her out on her obvious hypocrisy.
  405. >"I mean! You can't just! I'm not a...OH, who asked you Anon? I can quit peetzer anytime I want!"
  406. >And there it is, the classic excuse of any addiction ever.
  407. >She even crossed her forelegs at the end of her momentary outburst.
  408. "Then quit now! If not for your sake, for the sake of your own kid!"
  409. >She sweats as the gears begin turning in her head.
  410. >"Er, I'll...think about it. Oh! I was also coming to tell you that it's time for dinner!"
  411. >Well, you ARE kinda hungry. You only made enough food for Flurry today after all.
  412. "Great, what are we having?"
  413. >Embarrassment washes over the pink pony princess as she realizes the answer to your question.
  414. >"Uhhh...ha...haha..."
  415. >You should've seen this coming.
  416. "Pizza?"
  417. >The princess suddenly takes a keen interest in the floor.
  418. >"...Yeah..."
  419.  
  420. >After dinner, you're in the kitchen to clean up from earlier.
  421. >Despite your talk with her before dinner, the pizza was actually pretty good.
  422. >She had it delivered from her favorite pizza joint.
  423. >A chain in Equestria called 'Mama Mia's Pizza'.
  424. >It was also the chain she worked for in Canterlot when she was younger.
  425. >Cadence was clearly upset during dinner, most likely about the conversation you had earlier.
  426. >Didn't stop her from eating two whole extra-larges by herself though.
  427. >Alicorns like her and her daughter can eat more than anypony or anyone you've ever seen.
  428. >Thinking about it, you wonder who would win in an eating contest between all the princesses this world has.
  429. >Hell, throw Pinkie in as a wild-card to make things more interesting.
  430. >If you didn't have a job to do, that'd be entertaining to see.
  431. >As you begin rinsing off your dishes, Shining Armor comes by.
  432. >"Hey Anon, can we talk?"
  433. >Uh oh. This must be about earlier.
  434. "Yeah, what's up?"
  435. >You don't like this. You MIGHT be in trouble for this one.
  436. >"Soooo Cadence is down in her mare-cave. She usually goes in there to have time for herself doing...whatever it is mares do in their mare-caves. But it's also where she goes when she's upset about something."
  437. >Did you really make a grown mare cry just because you told her to stop eating so much pizza for the sake of her child?
  438. >"I asked her what was wrong and she says "Shiny, Anon's trying to take away my peetzer! He's supposed to focus on Flurry's problems, not mine! He was even telling me that it's my fault Flurry eats hay-tenders all day!"
  439. >He even used a falsetto when he was quoting her.
  440. >Also seems like she's blowing this out of proportion. Let's nip this in the bud before it gets worse.
  441. "That last part isn't completely true. So here's what happened:"
  442. "I was telling her that Flurry thinks it's ok to eat her hay-tenders every day because she told me that she sees it as no different than her mother eating pizza practically every other day, Flurry's words not mine. Cadence tried saying she only eats it two or three times a week, but I pointed out the fact that three times a week IS 'practically every other day'. She got defensive about it, and I suggested that she quit if not for her own sake, then for Flurry's. That's all that happened man, I swear.
  443. >He thinks it over for a second and sighs.
  444. >"Listen, just between the two of us stallions, and this doesn't leave this room but..."
  445. >Shining Armor quickly looks from side to side, as if he's making sure noone else hears what he has to say.
  446. >"I'm so sick of pizza Anon! I love my wife, but I can barely even keep Mama Mia's down anymore. I usually have to make up an excuse for why I have to skip dinner on these nights! It wasn't always this bad either. She'd get it maybe once a month, then it became every two weeks, then every week, and so on and so on...Until finally, here we are!"
  447. >Maybe you're not getting fired after all. Shining Armor seems to actually agree with you even.
  448. >Might come in handy to help break Cadence's addiction so you can break Flurry's easier.
  449. >"However, I think it's best that you go down and talk with her. Maybe a heart-to-heart will help make her feel better. And hopefully, this will be the beginning of the end for all these 'peetzer nights'."
  450. >Not a bad idea. If she's getting the wrong idea about what you're saying, then it'd do well to make sure it doesn't fester.
  451. "Alright, lead the way."
  452.  
  453. >You follow Shining Armor into Cadence's "mare-cave" below the ground floor of the palace.
  454. >When you enter, you see pic related
  455. >Cadence is sitting on a couch, staring depressingly into a heart-shaped Mama Mia's pizza.
  456. >All while wearing a pizza hoodie. Resting her head on a pizza pillow, with a plush pizza slice on the arm rest.
  457. >Seems like this pizza obsession runs deeper than you thought.
  458. >Is Flurry going to be the easy one to deal with when it comes to food addiction?
  459. >Well, best to get this over with.
  460. "Hey Princess, can we talk?"
  461. >She jumps at the sound of your voice, though carefully preventing the peetzer from falling on the floor.
  462. >"A-Anon? Why are you in my mare-cave? Did you come all the way here to take away my peetzer?!"
  463. >She still somehow has the idea that you're going to forcefully take away her favorite food.
  464. "No Princess. I was never trying to take away your pizza. All I was telling you was what Flurry's excuse for eating nothing but hay-tenders is. As long as she feels vindicated for continuing her habit, it'll be a lot harder to break."
  465. >She stares intently as your words reach her ears.
  466. "And I was just trying to tell you that maybe you could try to overcome your own food addiction, to help your daughter to overcome hers. Help me to help you to help her, is what I'm trying to get at."
  467. >She sniffs, you really DID make a grown mare cry.
  468. >"It's just...so hard Anon! I've eaten peetzer all my life! Mama Mia's was my first job. My first date with Shining Armor was there too! I ate it a lot when I was pregnant with Flurry and...
  469. >She hesitates a bit to say the next part.
  470. >"...And I've eaten it more in recent years too because *sniff* Because I failed her Anon! My daughter is a failed launch because of ME! Everything that went wrong is because of the mistakes I made raising her. And this? This brings me comfort when it all becomes too much for me to handle. Stallions have ice cream and chocolate...I have peetzer!"
  471. >Seems there's not only the fact that it holds an important place in her life, but that there's a comfort eating aspect to this too.
  472. "I'm here to make this all better though. It's why you hired me, remember? So you don't NEED to do this to yourself anymore Princess!"
  473.  
  474. >She pulls herself together from sobbing to respond to you.
  475. >"Please Anon...you can call me Cadence."
  476. "Cadence, my point still stands. I can help you, just like I'm helping Flurry Heart. It won't be easy though, it never is to break an addiction. Especially one that's been going on for so long. But you wanted to fix the mistakes you made. This is the start of how you can help me in doing that.
  477. >It feels like an eternity as she mulls over your advice.
  478. >Will she listen? Will she take that first step to breaking her own addiction?
  479. >"You're...you're right, Anon. Please help me..."
  480. >You decide to hug the pizza pony in front of you to comfort her.
  481. "It'll be ok Cadence. I'll help you. Enjoy your pizza tonight, tomorrow and except for once in a while, I'll be making your dinner along with Flurry's.
  482. >She composes herself, this time more completely as your hug and the promise of your help calmed her down.
  483. >"Thank you...thank you..."
  484.  
  485. >After an emotional heart-to-heart with Cadence, you head back upstairs.
  486. >You're going to prevent another surprise wake-up from Flurry by pre-emptively putting her to sleep.
  487. >You re-enter her room and the second you do so, she turns around.
  488. >"Did you do it? Will they leave me alone about my hay-tendies?"
  489. >Was she waiting this whole time to hear about this?
  490. "Er...yeah, something like that. You were right, your mom really IS addicted to pizza. She's got it pretty bad actually. However, she's dedicated to breaking her addiction now after I talked with her about it.
  491. >She says nothing for a while after hearing this.
  492. >*sigh* "Well, it's something at least. Good luck though colt, you'll need it."
  493. >Time to spring your trap.
  494. >You reach out and go at her ear with your fingers, putting the princess of marefoals into the same daze as last time.
  495. >You repeat the same process as before.
  496. >After she's relaxed enough to be half-asleep, you place her in her bed.
  497. "Time for bed Flurry! You can play tomorrow."
  498. >"Kay....gooodniiiiiigh..."
  499. >And she's out.
  500. >Time for your own rest, but first.
  501. >Something you won't repeat.
  502. >You head to the bathroom attached to your quarters and wash your hands vigorously.
  503. >You don't want to wake up to THAT again.
  504. >After you've scrubbed them clean and dried off, you settle in for bed.
  505. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  506.  
  507. >You are Flurry Heart the Defiler
  508. >Newly ascended Daemon Princess of Vaaresh.
  509. >Sure, being a space mare-ine was nice and all.
  510. >But this? This is true power!
  511. >The pitiful forces of the God-Empress fell before you like flies!
  512. >Now this world is yours, and all it cost you was your immortal soul.
  513. >Not like you were using it anyway.
  514. >And Anon!
  515. >Sweet, not-really innocent Anon!
  516. >Oh, he fought valiantly like the rest of the so-called heroes who rose to oppose you.
  517. >But he fell the easiest among them though.
  518. >All you had to do was shove his face into your elegant tuft.
  519. >In an instant he was reduced to a moaning mess, masturbating on the floor before you.
  520. >Though he was defeated, you did not kill him.
  521. >Oh no, he serves a greater purpose now!
  522. >Or should you say servicing?
  523. >You've long since taught him of the many joys of Vaaresh.
  524. >Of endless pain and endless pleasure that he provides the both of you with in equal strides.
  525. >He's accepted every last bit of it.
  526. >You feel Anon's mutated tongue running across your pussy here and now.
  527. "Nngh, YESSSSSS!"
  528. >You begin to grind your flank against his face in response to his new tongue's prowess.
  529. >Soon this pathetic world will fall screaming into The Bend!
  530. >And when it does? Vaaresh promised it and all of it's inhabitants as your playthings.
  531. >You'll leave them to The Empress's Children and daemons you led in the conquest of this pebble to use how they please though.
  532. >Your grand prize is right here beneath you.
  533. >He's sped up now. Focusing ever more on your clit.
  534. >You begin chanting praises to Vaaresh in the daemonic language as you grow closer and closer to orgasm.
  535. >This brings your well-corrupted pet to intensify his assault on your bean, soon sending you over the edge.
  536. "YES! YEEESSSS!! I̸̤̥͂̂͊Ạ̸̧͚̻̑͂͘͝!̵̤͈̿͒̿̍!̷͖̞̪̿̓ ̷͉̻͆̉̐I̴̛̯͚̮͠I̷̡̟̻̭͒͛Ï̸͔̰̘̳̌Ȉ̸̻̻̙̕Ḯ̸̞́̕͘͜I̸̙̗͕͐̌Ä̸̛́̎̂ͅA̷̹̿͛A̶̺̜̣̔A̶͉̰̜̔A̶̡̻̥̐͝Ā̷̮̖͝ͅĄ̸̢̝͍́́̃̇A̶͇̯̐̓͠A̴͔̮͖̾̾̒̃À̸͚͍͜À̴̡͓̪̥͛̾͝A̷̹͈̤͒͋̄̾͜Ȃ̸͔̝̼͂A̵̛̩͖͖͉̍̐̓Ǎ̶̹͈͔͠Å̸͓̩̰!̴̛͉͔͉ͅ!̸̪͚̀͑̄͝
  537. >You drench his face with your daemonic marecum. His reward for a job well done.
  538. >Your tainted juices are an aphrodisiac though, so in a few seconds his assault on your pussy will begin anew. Just as it will forev-
  539. "SHIT!!"
  540. >You dart upright in your bed as your mind returns to the real world.
  541. >That was one lewd as buck dream!
  542. >You use your magic and check under the sheets.
  543. >Yep, they're soaked in your juices.
  544. >Nopony must know that you got off to such heresy!
  545. >[spoiler]It was hot as Tartarus though![/spoiler]
  546. >You just hope Aunt Luna didn't see that.
  547. >You don't need your parents to get on your case about this too!
  548.  
  549. >This. is. BULLSHIT!!!
  550. >Second day of grinding Tombworld of Tartaros, and you STILL haven't gotten your chainblade.
  551. >Belletower got her stupid looking boltbow to boot.
  552. >And the drop-rate for that is LOWER!
  553. >Ugh!
  554. >You need some weed.
  555. >You float over your bong and take a fat rip.
  556. >You blow out the smoke and cough a bit while prepping up raid again.
  557. >A knock at your door and a turning knob signal Anon's arrival.
  558. >Mare, you're monkeymarried to this alien!
  559. >He cooks, you thiiiink he might clean? And he gives you those scratches behind the ear that are just hypnotizing!
  560. >It was his marriage ritual to you. Yet he still gives them, it's great!
  561. >Sure, maybe you were wrong about cooking you food being a mating ritual. But he definitely married you in the way of his kind...right?
  562. >You're still a little too nervous to ask him directly, but foal steps.
  563. >"Hey Flurry, what's up?"
  564. >You turn to meet him
  565. "Can you believe this shit? I STILL haven't gotten my chainblade and I've been running this same raid since yesterday! Belletower even got her lame-ass boltbow for her retarded looking transmog. The drop-rate is even lower for that than the chainblade!!"
  566. >You're honestly not even sure if he even GETS the lingo you're using.
  567. >"So you've just...been doing the same thing over and over again since yesterday?"
  568. >He just doesn't get it.
  569. "How else am I gonna get it? The more I run this raid, the higher my odds are! I NEED this for PvP or else I'm going to get my ass handed to me in melee fights."
  570. >"Can't you just, I don't know, trade for it or something?"
  571. >Mare, if he learned how to play HHO he'd be the perfect househusband for you. Maybe you can get on that soon!
  572. >For now, best to spell it out for him
  573. "Not really! It's expensive as buck since it's best-in-slot dude. I only have 20 million Imperial Thaler and that bitch costs 50! I'm sick of fighting Cadeverons, but that's just the sacrifice I have to make to kick ass in PvP. So I just ha-"
  574. >Your stomach growling interrupts you as the munchies begin.
  575. "Hey Anon, while you're here? Could you get me some hay-tendies and some of that home-cooking of yours? Getting kinda hungry here."
  576.  
  577. >You are Anon
  578. >You head downstairs to make Flurry some food.
  579. >However, today you'll increase her portion of the food you make, and give her a few less hay-tenders.
  580. >Weaning her off might be the best option for breaking her food addiction. Might even be needed with her mother's own addiction too.
  581. >You're honestly surprised she hasn't had a heart attack or something by now.
  582. >You don't know how healthy hay-tenders are to these ponies compared to chicken tenders for humans, but it can't be healthy since it's still fried.
  583. >Not to mention her nearly complete sedentary lifestyle.
  584. >Must be the alicorn physiology that's kept her and Cadence alive.
  585. >Plus, she's so addicted to HHO that she's grinding out a raid all day for over a day nearly non-stop.
  586. >Wait, didn't Cadence say something before about Twilight having to get Fluttershy out of this?
  587. >You hate to consider it...
  588. >You mean, you REALLY hate to consider it.
  589. >But you might need to consult with Twilight on how she did it. She might be able to give some insight on how to break her HHO addiction.
  590. >You never really cared for being around the purple horse, especially after it was apparent she had some strange fascination with you.
  591. >Even her friends were just...weird.
  592. >You tried to stay away from all of them as much as possible, but she always had you get roped into hanging out with them.
  593. >Not that many places to hide when Ponyville is a relatively small town.
  594. >After making food for Flurry, you head to Cadence's mare-cave .
  595. >She's sitting on her couch watching TV, a show called Queen of the Hill.
  596. >It's Equestria's knock-off of a show from back home.
  597. >"That filly ain't right, I tell you what!"
  598. >Cadence laughs in response to the propane mare until she notices you standing in the doorway.
  599. >"HAHAHAHA!! Hey Anon, did you need something?"
  600. >You steel yourself, you REALLY don't want to do this.
  601. "Yeah! Uh, do you happen to...maybe have a way to...contact Twilight? I need to ask her something."
  602. >She smiles back at the mention of her sister-in-law.
  603. >"Is that all? Of course! Here, I have this book she gave me that allows for you to communicate to her via writing. She has another one that she uses to talk to one of her friends in another world."
  604. >She floats a book over to you and into your hands along with an inkwell and quill.
  605. >"Be careful with it though. It costs quite a pretty bit to make one of these."
  606. "Don't worry I will, thanks!"
  607. >Leaving Candyass to her show, you head back to your room and sit at the writing desk furnished within it.
  608. >Here goes nothing.
  609. >You turn the pages to a blank page and begin writing.
  610.  
  611. "Dear Twilight
  612. It's Anon here, I needed to ask you something.
  613. I heard from Princess Cadence that you and your friends helped Fluttershy out of her addiction to Hyperspace Hyperwars Online.
  614. I'd like to know how you did that, as my current job requires getting your niece out of the same addiction.
  615. My current plan might take a while, so I wanted to see what worked on your end, I'd very much appreciate it.
  616. Thanks"
  617. Anonymous
  618.  
  619. >You keep it short, sweet, and to the point.
  620. >Just as soon as you're about to close the book, writing begins appearing on the other page under "Reply"
  621.  
  622. >"Anon! It's great to hear from you again!
  623. >"We all miss you back in Ponyville, I do especially!
  624. >"When I heard you were moving so far away I was pretty sad. Though hearing you got a job with my sister-in-law to help my niece lessened the blow somewhat.
  625. >As for your inquiry; Have you heard of what LARPing is?
  626. >It means Live Action Role-playing, see it's where you wear replica costum-"
  627. >Oh hell she's going on another autistic explanation tirade, let's keep her on track.
  628. >You quickly jot a response down.
  629. "I know what LARPing is Twilight, what about it?"
  630. >Her writing pauses and then resumes once more.
  631. >"Well, we made space mareine costumes and had Rarity make a Bharnate Barbarian costume for Fluttershy and the rest of us."
  632. >And you were shocked before that she of all ponies was playing such a violent MMO.
  633. >AND SHE PLAYED THE KHORNE EXPIES OF ALL THINGS?
  634. >She might've been way more badass than you gave her credit for.
  635. >You continue reading her response.
  636. >"Using toy weapons we dueled her often. Over time she had way more fun LARPing with us than playing that game.
  637. >Though if you're planning on doing this, your success may vary, because it didn't work when we tried it with Rarity's sister, Sweetie Belle."
  638. >Sweetie Belle...you remember hearing mention of her here and there.Though when you asked Rarity about her she just changed the subject.
  639. >All these years you thought she was dead or something. You guess she was, in a way.
  640. >"Are you thinking about trying this out Anon?"
  641. >It's worth a shot, though this might have to wait too since you can't afford to commission Rarity or anypony else to do this.
  642. >You write down your response to Twiggles.
  643. "It's worth a try I guess. I'll commission Rarity when I have the bits and get a design your way"
  644. >Without skipping a beat, Twilight jots down her reply not even a few seconds after yours.
  645. >"It'll be on me Anon. If it's for you and to help my niece I'll foot the bill."
  646. >You really don't want to owe anything to Twilight of all ponies.
  647. >Though the sooner you start dealing with this the better.
  648. "Thank you, I think I will then. I'll send you a design for mine soon. Flurry's character in her game is an "Ubermareine" named Crystal Storm, so her's should be simple enough to make."
  649. "I'll send the rest soon
  650. Thanks again."
  651. Anonymous.
  652.  
  653. >Before dragging this out further you close the book.
  654. >Before you design your costume you need to go to the one pony who knows something about Hyperspace Hyperwars that isn't Flurry or Twiggles.
  655. >Shining Armor.
  656. >You close the book and head out in search of Shining Armor.
  657. >It takes a while but you find him.
  658. "Hey Shining Armor I have a question for you."
  659. >He turns to you and smiles
  660. >"Sure, what's up?"
  661. "I was wondering...could you tell me a bit about the lore of Hyperspace Hyperwars, it's for an idea I got from Twilight to help with Flurry's addiction."
  662. >His smile widens as you see that very same twinkle in his eye that you knew Flurry had when you asked her about HHO.
  663. >"Sure! What do you want to know?"
  664. "Tell me about Disorder, what're they all about?"
  665. >"Disorder! Well, once every space mareine chapter of Disorder once served the God-Empress of Ponykind until the Haber Heresy happened. Now that was-"
  666. >After a long winded speech about the ENTIRE HISTORY of Disorder while showing you his figurine collection, you now know more than enough about Disorder to commission Rarity and LARP with Flurry.
  667. >You thank the prince and dismiss yourself as you return to your room to draw up the design of your costume.
  668. >You cross your fingers hoping this isn't a waste of time.
  669.  
  670. >After listening to Shining Armor's lore explanation, you head back to your room.
  671. >With his permission you took a Disorder figure with you as a reference.
  672. >'Dark Legion' was the space mareine chapter he said it was from.
  673. >You set to work drawing up a reference before you draw it into the magic book you got from Cadence.
  674. >You draw it as close to what you remember chaos space marines looked like from 40k back on Earth.
  675. >Albeit with Hyperspace Hyperwars' differences.
  676. >After being satisfied with the design, you copy it over into the journal and message Twilight again.
  677. "Ok Twilight, here's the design for mine. Give Rarity my thanks. With any luck this will work."
  678. >You close the book and head back downstairs.
  679. >You've started getting the time down on when dinner around here is and when Flurry begins reeing for her tendies.
  680. >Now today, you have a bigger challenge.
  681. >Because you're not just focusing on one pastel horse with a food addiction, but two.
  682. >This goes double because those two pastel horses are alicorns.
  683. >Alicorns that can wolf down more than an eating contest champion can twice over.
  684. >You may need help for this now.
  685. >Luckily, they have a palace chef.
  686. >Unfortunately, he's been on vacation since yesterday's 'peetzer night'
  687. >Leaving you with a LOT of food to cook.
  688. >Better get to work...
  689.  
  690. >You are now Twilight Sparkle
  691. >You open the magic journal connected to Cadence's copy to see an elaborate design sketch.
  692. >You recognize that the sketch is of a Disorder space mareine of the 'Dark Legion' traitor legion, but adapted to a human form.
  693. >Seems Anon has chosen to LARP as an evil follower of 'Apollyon the Devastator'.
  694. >You've never been as into Hyperspace Hyperwars as your brother, but you know plenty about it from being around him all the time when you were a filly.
  695. >At the bottom of the sketch, you see Anon's message.
  696. >"Ok Twilight, here's the design for mine. Give Rarity my thanks. With any luck this will work."
  697. >Celestia you miss him.
  698. >You were THIS close to getting him into a relationship with you, you're sure of it.
  699. >You love your sister-in-law (no lesbo), but she blue-beaned you BADLY with her job offer.
  700. >Maybe with this gift, he'll come around and date you as thanks!
  701. >And helping your niece with her video game addiction. Yep.
  702. >Nothing wrong with doing something that benefits everypony involved!
  703. >You better get this over to Rarity so she can start working on it.
  704. >She hated doing the last ones you and the girls used, especially when she couldn't sneak a gem onto it anywhere.
  705. >Hopefully she'll be willing to do it once more though, for Anon.
  706. >...
  707. >"No way, darling! They were so...EEEEWWWW, UGLY!"
  708. >Uh oh, you had a feeling.
  709. "Rarity please, it's for Anon! He needs it to help my niece with her addiction to the same game Fluttershy was addicted to!"
  710. >She blinks at the mention of HHO.
  711. >"The...same game who took my sister from me?"
  712. >A bit of an exaggeration.
  713. >It's true Sweetie Belle got addicted too, way worse than Fluttershy did.
  714. >But Rarity is talking like she's outright dead.
  715. >Maybe in some ways, she is.
  716. >"Ok. I'll do it! For Anon and your niece!"
  717. >You breathe a sigh of relief
  718. "Thank you so much Rarity! Here's the bits for the trouble! I'll help with anything extra as well, I have an idea for something I think he'll love!"
  719. >Soon you'll have his LARP costumes done, and Anon can help your niece to become the princess she was meant to be.
  720. >[spoiler]And hopefully, maybe even win his heart as well![/spoiler]
  721.  
  722. >Just have to insert the specially enchanted crystal into the mouthpiece and...
  723. "Done!"
  724. >It took both of you all night, but the costumes are finally done.
  725. >You took a break earlier on to grab the toy weapons they'd need from the toy store.
  726. >Rarity falls over from the exhaustion, and you're tempted to follow suit.
  727. >"Finally...done! Thanks for the help, darling! Hopefully I'll never have to make any of these dreadful things ever again!"
  728. >You catch your breathe as you hear her whisper to herself.
  729. >"So many spikes *grumble* not even a single gem!"
  730. >You finish catching your breath and pick up the boxes with their gear with your magic.
  731. "Thanks again Rarity! Also, Anon gives his thanks for these!"
  732. >She smiles back as she picks herself up off the ground.
  733. >"Anytime dear. As long as I don't have to make any more of 'Hyperspace Hyperwars' that is. Blegh!"
  734. >She sticks out her tongue in disgust.
  735. >Rarity always was really flamboyant about things, ever since the day you and the girls met.
  736. >It also took a lot of willpower on her end to make more of these costumes, given her hate of the designs.
  737. "I better get these to the post office if I want this express shipped. See you later!"
  738. >You wave and take off with your wings towards the post office.
  739. >And with any luck, you'll finally be one step closer to winning Anon's heart.
  740. >[spoiler]Not to mention it may lead to you finally punching your V card![/spoiler]
  741. >A gal can dream anyway.
  742. >As you hand off the costumes to Derpy, she gives a salute and loads them into her mail cart.
  743. >You say a quick prayer to whichever deity out there that will listen that she doesn't lose these.
  744. >Your thoughts turn to your niece and what she was like last time she visited...
  745.  
  746. "So you see, that's a list of 100 reasons why you should go outside and make some friends! Any questions Flurry?"
  747. >Without turning away from her screen she replies.
  748. "Aunt Twilight?"
  749. >You smile back, she has friendship questions! For you!
  750. "Yes Flurry? What friendship related inquiries do you have to ask your dear aunt about?"
  751. >She continues to stare at her game as she gives her disappointing response.
  752. >"Can you keep it down? I'm trying to kill this dumb cunt who thinks playing a Boar Shoota Gurl is funny!"
  753.  
  754. >You got absolutely nowhere with her.
  755. >Maybe Anon can make a difference though.
  756. >A stallion's touch might be the cure for your poor niece.
  757. >Maybe if Flurry would've gotten into Hyperwars Fantasy instead, she would've never gotten addicted to that MMO.
  758. >Hyperwars Fantasy is way better than Hyperspace Hyperwars anyway!
  759. >(Not that you'd ever let your BBBF hear you say that though. Family bonds are only so strong.)
  760. >You fly back to your castle and collapse into your bed after a long night and morning.
  761. >You pass into Luna's realm thinking of the human stallion you did this all for.
  762.  
  763. >You return to Anonhood once more.
  764. >You passed out in your bed after cleaning up dinner.
  765. >So. Much. Food.
  766. >If Flurry was bitching at her friends during the night again, you weren't conscious enough to hear it.
  767. >You pull your tired body from your bed and get ready for the day.
  768. >Strange, you don't hear Flurry at all.
  769. >Usually you'll hear her voice-chatting with her online friends or berating somepony else for using a class she doesn't like.
  770. >You crack open her door to take a peek.
  771. >Ponies aren't as private as humans back on Earth were.
  772. >(Something that bit you in the ass more than once back in Ponyville.)
  773. >Not to mention they're all naked most of the time anyway, so no fear of catching somepony in the middle of dressing or undressing.
  774. >To your surprise you see her asleep in her bed, which NEVER happened before you scratched her to sleep.
  775. >At least not during your stay here.
  776. >You walk in and give her a light scritch behind the ears as a reward for caring for herself and leave her to her rest.
  777. >Next, you need to get her in the bath-tub, and you THINK you might know how.
  778. >She loves these ear scritches.
  779. >So what if she had to start cleaning up in order to get them?
  780. >The last thing you want to do is bargain with her like her parent's did.
  781. >However, this might be the only option short of taking a hose to her.
  782. >You have a feeling she'd kill you for doing that.
  783. >And if not her, Shining Armor would probably do so in her stead for the water damage you'd cause on the carpeted floor.
  784.  
  785. Ultimately I've decided to keep going with what I already had planned. However, I AM heeding the advice some of you gave me on how it'd be a bad idea long term. Just stay tuned to see how it plays out!
  786.  
  787. >After finishing up getting ready for the day, you check the magic journal Cadence gave you.
  788. >Twilight has left a new message.
  789.  
  790. >"It took all night, but Rarity and I finished both costumes.
  791. >I passed them off to Derpy this morning so it should arrive tomorrow if all goes well.
  792. >I hope the two of you have fun, and tell my niece I said hello!
  793. >Your best friend - Twilight Sparkle"
  794.  
  795. >She's not your best friend, not even close.
  796. >But you'll write a response because you're not looking a gift horse in the mouth...pun intended.
  797.  
  798.  
  799. "Thanks Twiggles. I look forward to trying them out.
  800. I'll let you know if it works and I'll let Flurry know that you said hey.
  801. Have a good one - Anonymous"
  802.  
  803. >A thought occurs to you though.
  804. >If Flurry wears that costume while she's still the unwashed heathen that she is, it'll ruin the fabric.
  805. >Or whatever Rarity made them out of.
  806. >It seems there's no getting around it.
  807. >This marefoal needs to get clean TODAY.
  808.  
  809. >Later on, you pass by Flurry's room and hear her talking.
  810. >You came up with the plan earlier while she was asleep.
  811. >You fill your bathtub with warm water as to not alert her to your plan.
  812. >You go around collected all the soaps and shampoos you'd need from Cadence and Shining Armor.
  813. >And grab a brush made for scrubbing pony fur.
  814. >Everything is all set.
  815. >It's show time.
  816. >You walk into her room and tap her on the shoulder.
  817. >You could swear you see her shiver slightly.
  818. >She silences her mic and turns to you.
  819. >"What's up Anon?"
  820. >Let's do it.
  821. "So Flurry, I actually have something cool planned for us to try together."
  822. >You see her eyes lighten up at this.
  823. >Her eyes that are starting to not have dark circles under them due to actually sleeping normally instead of passing out in her chair.
  824. >"Oh sweet! What is it?"
  825. "That would ruin the surprise! However, there's a problem...What I have in store might get ruined in your...current state."
  826. >She frowns and crosses her hooves.
  827. >"My...current state? What in Equestria is THAT supposed to mean?!"
  828. "I mean that you'll need a bath. It's something you'll wear, so the grease covering your body might ruin the material."
  829. >Upon hearing the 'B' word, she starts getting nervous.
  830. >"A-are you SURE? I mean, a LITTLE grease never hurt anything!"
  831. >She knows good and well that it's not a 'little' grease.
  832. >She's not budging, time to break out the big guns.
  833. "Well, not just that, but it IS harder to scratch those ears of yours when they're covered in filth like this. Fun fact: I actually got a rash the first time I did! If you were clean though, it'd be a lot easier..."
  834. >You try to look like you're thinking it over to help convince her.
  835. >The look on her face says that it's working.
  836. >"Well...m-maybe just...just this ONCE I could, y'know...get clean..."
  837. >That's all you needed.
  838. "GREAT! Let's go!"
  839. >You pick Flurry up, noticing the blush on her cheeks and begin carrying her to your bathroom.
  840. >As you approach, she shifts slightly and speaks up.
  841. >"Actually, I...uh, I changed my mind! I could just...d-do it tomorrow!"
  842. >Oh no you don't.
  843. "Nah, no take backs. We're doing it today!"
  844. >She squirms a little more.
  845. >She's getting uncomfortable
  846. >"I...I was in the middle of a match when you picked me up! Yeah! Don't wanna ruin my K:D ratio! I'll just come back when I'm done."
  847. >Why is she scared of a little soap and water?
  848. >Plus, you know good and well that she wasn't PvPing when you picked her up. She was doing random crafting shit while talking with her friends.
  849. "It'll be there when you return Flurry. You'll feel better too!"
  850. >Her squirming now turns to light thrashing and suddenly she stops.
  851. >"A-anon?"
  852. >You look down at the grown light pink alicorn that you're holding at an awkward angle due to her size.
  853. >"I'll give you 50 good filly points if you don't make me take a bath!"
  854. >She's giving you puppy dog eyes while trying to bargain with you like her parents do with her.
  855. "Hmm...nah."
  856. >You turn the nob to your bathroom and her panic resumes with a vengeance.
  857. >"OK OK, I'll give you 100!"
  858. >You step further toward the bathtub
  859. >"200!...OK FINE, ALL OF THEM! I'LL GIVE YOU ALL OF MY GOOD FILLY POINTS IF YOU JUST PUT ME DOWN!"
  860. >You hover her over the bathtub and stop to respond to her pleading.
  861. "Flurry, there's only one problem..."
  862. >You lean in and put your mouth to her ear and whisper softly into it.
  863. "...I don't accept Good Filly Points."
  864. >You release your hold on her, and she drops in.
  865. >"REEEEEEEEEEEEE- *splash*"
  866. >After a few seconds she surfaces.
  867. >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! IT BURNS! IT BUUUUURRNS!!!"
  868. >Time to strike while the iron is hot.
  869. >You begin to work the fur shampoo into her coat and scrub with the brush.
  870. >She struggles against you all the way.
  871. >You know she could just zap you or something if she wanted.
  872. >Though she's obviously holding back even now.
  873. "Flurry just...settle down!"
  874. >You scrub harder over her entire coat, all while she refuses to listen.
  875. >"NO! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"
  876. >You silence her screeching by pouring water over her head with a pitcher you collected for rinsing her hair.
  877. >You then begin working mane and tail shampoo into...her mane and tail.
  878. >Though cleaning her tail brings you dangerously close to...[spoiler]the horse pussy.[/spoiler]
  879. >You're careful not to molest her, even by accident as you finish scrubbing that area.
  880. >She's all done, except for the obvious area.
  881. >You're not going to hang around and blush like some anime protag, so you hand some soap to her.
  882. "Alright, I think you can do the last part. Once you're done drying off, come see me."
  883. >You walk out and close the door.
  884. >After a few more minutes she walks out.
  885. >You now get to see what Flurry REALLY looks like.
  886. >And...she's actually kind of...beautiful.
  887. >Who knew that underneath all that grease, dirt, and general filth was a knock-out of a mare?
  888. >You shake your head.
  889. >Can't start lewding your ward now, not when there's work to do.
  890. >You pat your lap, and she flies over and lands, laying across your legs.
  891. >You begin rubbing her ears as she relaxes after giving her the scrubbing of her lifetime.
  892.  
  893. >Be the Princess of Tuftbeards.
  894. >Good Celestia that was HUMILIATING!
  895. >Sure, you got those ear scratches he's so good at, but at the same time?
  896. >You REALLY didn't want to take a bath.
  897. >Much less be forced to and bathed by somepony else as well.
  898. >Even if it IS your monkeyhusband.
  899. >To make matters worse, the water burned and stung when you went in.
  900. >You also got really upset again and started screaming at him.
  901. >And do you even TELL him about what happened at the lake when you were younger?
  902. >No. Not right now.
  903. >Maybe not ever.
  904. >A big, strong, marely mare like yourself can't be found to be afraid of water!
  905. >Still shaken up about the whole ordeal despite your reward, you go back to your computer for some much needed HHO.
  906. >Right now Anon is taking the sheets off your bed and carrying them away while wearing a clothespin on his nose.
  907. >You didn't smell THAT bad!
  908. >...Right?
  909. >He also grabbed your hoodie as well to clean.
  910. >Buck, you wanted to put that back on.
  911. >Oh well, you turn back to HHO and see somepony familiar on your friends list.
  912. >Wait, is that...
  913. >No way...she's back!
  914. >You pull up Harmony and see that she's in the voice chat.
  915. >You jump in and start talking.
  916. "Whoa, D1ckD3str0y3r? You're back! Got tired of Oldschool SigilPlane, huh?"
  917. >She hasn't been playing HHO for a while so never bothered to VC.
  918. >You don't know why she didn't just come to hang out, but you heard she has pretty bad autism or something.
  919. >"Yep, I wanted to get back to my roots and play with you girls again. It's been a while so I'll probably be a bit rusty."
  920. >Rusty is right, she hasn't played for MONTHS.
  921. "That's alright, I'll go over all the changes they've made while you were gone. The good, the bad, and the absolutely terrible! More of the latter if I'm completely honest with you."
  922. >She laughs at hearing this.
  923. >" Hahaha! Some things never change! So how've you been, Crystal Storm?”
  924. >Looks like you can't avoid the elephant in the room any longer.
  925. >Or perhaps you should say monkey.
  926. "So I think I actually got married while you were away! It surprised me too at first, but see my new husband is from this foreign land. He did this thing with my ears and I'm 90% sure that in his culture he was marrying me!”
  927. >Can't let them know the local alien is your husband.
  928. >You've kept your true identity as a princess from them for all these years.
  929. >It's a whole can of worms you REALLY don't want to open right now.
  930. >"Damn, nice! Well, you know your good ol' pal Floor Bored is swimming in dick as usual! The stallions still can't keep themselves off me!
  931. >That was a lie and you know it.
  932. >'D1CKD3STR0Y3R' aka Floor Bored is as autistic as they come, even more so than you or your aunt.
  933. >One of the other members of your platoon, Palemoon69, even told you that Floor gets neetbux from the crown because she can't hold down a job.
  934. >Though truthfully, so does she.
  935. >You do as well, at least in the form of GFP.
  936. >"Say, do you plan on having a ceremony? You know how stallions get, wanting their ‘special day’ and all."
  937. >Ah Tartarus, that's right!
  938. "Not yet! But you know I got a HUGE event planned for my stallion!”
  939. >No you don’t.
  940. >How in Equestria could you have forgotten the most important day of a stallion’s life?!
  941. >”Ah, cool. When you get it planned make sure to invite us, I love cake about as much as the princess does! Hahaha!”
  942. >Aunt Celestia!
  943. >How would SHE even feel about any of this?
  944. >She’s pretty old-fashioned, albeit less so than Aunt Luna.
  945. >Would she think you took advantage of him?
  946. >Would she laugh and congratulate you on your catch after giving you a proud hoofslap on the withers?
  947. >What about Aunt Luna?
  948. >Would she want to burn him as a warlock that put a charm spell on you or something?
  949. >You don’t know, and right now you don’t have time for these worries.
  950. “Sure thing, but enough of that, let’s kill some alien scum while I tell you all that’s happened while you were away!”
  951. >You can worry about talking with Anon about these plans for tomorrow.
  952. >For now, it’s time to catch up with an old friend.
  953.  
  954. >Be Anonymous.
  955. >The rest of the day was rather uneventful after Flurry’s bath.
  956. >Save for washing her bedsheets and hoodie.
  957. >You had a good mind to just burn them if you didn’t think Flurry would fling you through a wall for it.
  958. >There was also Cadence.
  959. >She looked kinda rough at dinner and was shaking a bit.
  960. >When you asked she just told you that she was feeling a little under the weather is all.
  961. >Complete with her eye twitching
  962. >In all honesty ‘A little under the weather’ is an understatement; She looked terrible.
  963. >But for now though, something important has just occurred.
  964. >It’s here!
  965. >The costumes arrived just now along with some of your old stuff from Ponyville.
  966. >You’ll put away your belongings later, you open one of the trunks and find a blue armor with “Crystal Storm” etched onto it.
  967. >Nope that would be Flurry’s.
  968. >You open the other trunk to see a jet black armor with plenty of spikes on it.
  969. >Yep, this is it.
  970. >You take the helmet and put it on in front of the mirror.
  971. “Whoa, this is co-”
  972. >You pause after hearing the deep, evil sounding voice coming from the helmet being different from your own.
  973. "No way! Twilight and Rarity put a VOICE CHANGER in this?"
  974. >You take off the helmet and see some kind of crystal in the mouthpiece.
  975. >They really outdid themselves on this one.
  976. >You try on the rest of the costume and check it out.
  977. >”No Crystal Storm, I expect you to die!”
  978. >This is going to be so cool!
  979. >You take the costume off and head to Flurry’s room.
  980. >The noxious smell of a tuftbeard’s lair is now a lot less severe than before thanks to her bath, which your nose thanks you for.
  981. >She sees you and mutes her mic.
  982. “Hey Flurry, remember that surprise I was telling you about? It came! Follow me!”
  983. >Excited, she jumps up from her chair and follows you into your room.
  984. >She hesitates a bit to walk in, presumably still shaken up about the bath yesterday.
  985. “Alright, take this trunk and head down to the guard training room. We’ll be using the stuff inside of it to play around a bit.”
  986. >She picks it up with her magic with no issue.
  987. >”A little heavier than I expected. What exactly are in these?”
  988. >Can't ruin the surprise here at the end.
  989. "You'll see when we get there, c'mon!"
  990. >You lead her out of your room and to the staircase.
  991. >You start down stairs with Flurry following behind.
  992. >After reaching the bottom of the stairs you notice she isn't behind you like she was a second ago.
  993. >You raise your head up a bit and see her stopped half-way down.
  994. >”*huff* *huff* G-Give me...haaaa...give me a second!"
  995. >She's out of breath already?
  996. >It seems that years of her sedentary lifestyle put her so out of shape that even her being an alicorn couldn’t compensate.
  997. "You're already getting winded? These stairs aren't even that long Flurry!"
  998. >She shoots you a glance between her heavy breathing
  999. >"Sh-huh...Shut up Anon! I'm...*huff*...I'm almost ready!"
  1000. >After a solid 5 or 10 minutes of this with the other flights of stairs you at last make it to the guard training room.
  1001. >Poor Flurry was out of breath and drenched in sweat before you even made it there.
  1002. >That horse needs some exercise, but thankfully what you have planned will provide some.
  1003. >You both enter the respective locker rooms and begin changing into your costumes.
  1004.  
  1005. >Be Flurry again, albeit rather early.
  1006. >After catching your breath from the hike that colt put you on, you open the trunk to see what the big deal is.
  1007. >Inside you see a blue armor that has a familiar symbol.
  1008. “Oh my Celestia, no way!”
  1009. >Feeling like a fat filly in a candy store, you excitedly put on the armor.
  1010. >Where did he get this?
  1011. >HOW did he get this?
  1012. >You thought he didn’t know shit about HHO, but apparently you were WAY off.
  1013. >He probably wants to do some flowery romantic shit with this though, so best not get your hopes up too much.
  1014. >After putting on your armor and grabbing your chainblade and boltbow, you head outside.
  1015. >You wait around for a good 5 minutes before getting impatient.
  1016. "Anon, are you ready yet? I don't have all da-"
  1017. >Suddenly a bipedal figure clad top to bottom in black armor kicks the door of the stallion's locker room open.
  1018. >You notice the design to be of a Dark Legion space mareine, though adapted to his bipedal form.
  1019. >"Well well well, look at what we have here! If it isn't Captain Crystal Storm of the Ubermareines!"
  1020. >His voice sounds deeper and way more evil.
  1021. >Muh clit
  1022. >I mean, DAMN filly, you're gonna need him to wear THAT to bed.
  1023. >Once you've defeated him in combat that is.
  1024. >...Though space mareines are traditionally all mares.
  1025. >D-does this make you a...dyke?
  1026. >"I have come forth from The Maw of Horror to put an end to your worthless "heroism"! Our allies lay dead around us, and only we remain! And only one shall leave!"
  1027. >He pulls out his boltbow, and you ready yours as well.
  1028. >"The dark goddesses demand your death, and I shall be the one to fulfill their will!"
  1029. >This is....
  1030. >SO COOL!
  1031. >He aims his boltbow at you, and you follow suit by aiming at him.
  1032. >He fires off a styrofoam bolt, which you manage to dodge.
  1033. >You fire one back at him, which he side-steps.
  1034. >The two of you continue firing and dodging, with a bolt or two occasionally clipping one of you.
  1035. >All this ducking and dodging is getting you winded again.
  1036. >His latest bolt manages to clip your wing.
  1037. >You know what? Buck this!
  1038. >You bring your chainblade out and charge at the big armor-clad ape.
  1039. >Probably a lot less graceful than you wanted given that your lungs are on fire right now.
  1040. >Unfortunately, this gave Anon enough time to bring out his own and to parry.
  1041. >The plastic teeth of each one jams the other as the both of you try to overpower each other, creating a whirring sound as they try to keep running.
  1042. >"Is this truly the best the Ubermareines have to offer? Pathetic! I shall give your head to Bharne for her skull throne! Your dying screams shall be music to the ears of Vareesh! Your corpse will be a factory for Ishura's pestilence! And your end shall fulfill another of W'zaanth's many schemes!
  1043. >He knows more lore than you initially thought.
  1044. >Way more.
  1045. >"They shall surely grant me daemonhood for bringing about your end!"
  1046. >No. Not today, Nightmare!
  1047. >You fight through the pain and exhaustion to fight back even harder.
  1048. >The sudden increase in force causes your foe to be pushed back and break from his attack.
  1049. >You scream as you charge with your chainblade.
  1050. "For the Empress! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
  1051. >Your battlecry echoes loudly throughout the training room.
  1052. >That is, until Anon agilely steps to the side and slams his chainblade HARD into the back of your armor, ending your life.
  1053. >At least in this pretend battle.
  1054. >You fall to the floor as an evil laugh emanates from his helmet.
  1055. >"MwahahaHAHAHAHA!! With this victory the Ubermareines, and the rest of the False Empress' sycophants shall fall before the might of DISORDER! HAHAHAHAHA!!!"
  1056. >Damn it.
  1057. >Anon takes off his mask and walks over to you
  1058. >"You ok Flurry? I didn't rough you up too much did I?"
  1059. >It was a blast, but...
  1060. >Beaten by a stallion…
  1061. >The girls would NEVER let you live this down if they found out!
  1062. >This sucks so hard.
  1063.  
  1064. >Time to be someone new: Princess Cadence.
  1065. >Your duty as both the Princess of Love and of The Crystal Empire requires more strength and resolve than most ponies give it credit for.
  1066. >As an alicorn princess, you are seen as, and expected to be, the very imago of maresculinity.
  1067. >Strength, wisdom, WILLPOWER, and more.
  1068. >You're supposed to have it all in SPADES.
  1069. >So why then has a simple, round, delectable, cheesy, DELICIOUS…
  1070. >Ahem, peetzer pie reduced you to such a sorry state?
  1071. >Without your usual three a week intake of peetzer you've been feeling so miserable!
  1072. >Lately, you've been shaking and losing sleep over it.
  1073. >But you can't forget why you're making this sacrifice though.
  1074. >You're doing this to set the example for your daughter like you should have YEARS ago.
  1075. >You hate to admit it, more than anything even, but Anonymous was right that this needed to be done.
  1076. >...But why can't you be happy about this?
  1077. >You hold your plush peetzer slice in your hooves and sigh.
  1078. >At least you still get to have it once a week.
  1079. >Maybe once Flurry stops her addiction to hay-tenders things can go back to normal?
  1080. >No…No, things never are that simple and you know it.
  1081. >You just gotta tell yourself that you don't need it, mind over matter filly!
  1082. "I...I don't need it…I don't need it…"
  1083. >You look around the room as you recite your anti-peetzer mantra, seeing all your peetzer related paraphernalia and decor.
  1084. "I don't need it, I don't need it!"
  1085. >You continually look around, desperation setting in as your brain is assaulted by images of peetzers and their various toppings, and of you enjoying them.
  1086. "IDON'TNEEDITIDON'TNEEDITIDEFINITELYDON'TNEED-I…I..."
  1087. *Growl*
  1088. >The growl of your stomach cuts you off. The vicious storm in your mind calms, as you realize a universal truth.
  1089. "...I NEEEEEEEED IT!!!"
  1090. >You bolt up from your couch and fly out of the Crystal Palace with enough speed that it would impress Rainbow Dash...at least before her career-ending injury.
  1091. >On the way to the pizzeria you nearly collide with a few pegasi in the cool air above the city.
  1092. >You fly straight into the local Mama Mia's, almost tearing the door clean off it's hinges with the force from your entry.
  1093. >You run over to the counter; A nervous and scared looking mare wearing the official Mama Mia's uniform squeaks out what she was trained to say.
  1094. >"W-welcome to Mama Mia's Pizza, Yo-your Highness...H-how can we help you today?"
  1095. >Poor mare is shaking like a tree branch caught in a hurricane. Must be her first day.
  1096. >You sharply inhale before screaming out your order, too desperate for your beloved pie to calmly and quietly order.
  1097. "I'LLHAVEFIVEEXTRAEXTRALARGEOATLOVERSPEETZERSANDALSOTHREEORDERSOF-"
  1098.  
  1099. >Be Anon again.
  1100. >You had a lot of fun LARPing with Flurry.
  1101. >You think she did too, albeit with her pride wounded.
  1102. >After putting away your costumes, you picked her up and carried her back to her room.
  1103. >Normally, you'd let her do it herself, but you don't want to waste an entire hour watching her fight another losing battle against the stairs.
  1104. >Afterwards you head back down to make dinner.
  1105. >However, today she has an unusual request.
  1106. >Well, unusual for HER anyway.
  1107. >As you turn to leave she extends her hoof and places it on your side.
  1108. >"Uh...hey Anon?"
  1109. >You stop your attempted stride and turn your head towards her.
  1110. "Yes Flurry, what's up?"
  1111. >She fidgets a bit in her chair, clearly uncomfortable with what she wants to ask.
  1112. >"I was thinking... instead of hay-tendies...could you make me the healthiest thing you have?"
  1113. >Yeah, this is pretty weird for Flurry to ask.
  1114. >However, you're not going to look a gift horse in the mouth and comply.
  1115. >Pun definitely intended.
  1116. "Sure thing, one salad and fruit salad coming up!"
  1117. >Seems dinner will be easy tonight.
  1118. >You throw together a few salads and fruit salads, bringing Flurry's and Shining Armor's to them.
  1119. >Shining Armor was too busy dealing with some kind of documentation issue with the palace guard so wasn't able to come to the table tonight.
  1120. >That just leaves Cadence.
  1121. >You figure she's probably in her marecave and head there with her food in tow.
  1122. >You knock and turn the knob…
  1123. >And you're greeted with what could only be described as an absolute disaster zone.
  1124. >There's pizza, sauce, and cheese EVERYWHERE.
  1125. >Not even her weird pizza collectables or whatever, but those are covered in cheese and sauce too.
  1126. >You see Cadence who looks like pic related as she greets you in a raspy voice.
  1127. >"Hey Anon…."
  1128. >Do you need to get a doctor or something right now?
  1129. "Cadence! Oh my God what HAPPENED?!"
  1130. >"It's ok Anon...I just have the peetzer sweats! Heheheh…"
  1131. >Her eyes sink down to the floor below.
  1132. >"...I messed up…"
  1133. >That's readily apparent.
  1134. >Her marecave looks like a pizza explosion went off in the middle of it.
  1135. "Start from the beginning I guess? How'd you mess up?"
  1136. >She looks back up at you
  1137. >"Anon, I haven't been able to sleep for the last two days! And I've been shaking, all because of the lack of peetzer!"
  1138. >"I tried and tried to tell myself I didn't need it but...I caved and flew over to Mama Mia's. I brought it all back here and gorged myself until I couldn't eat another bite!"
  1139. >Her eyes scan the room.
  1140. >"I guess I left a bigger mess than I thought."
  1141. >That's an understatement. There's not an inch of this room not covered in pizza remains.
  1142. "I'll help you clean. But after that, we probably need to revise my plan to help you out with this."
  1143. >She raises her head, still looking like she's about to pass out.
  1144. >"No need, I'll take care of it!"
  1145. >Cadence's horn glows as a glow envelopes the mess around the room.
  1146. >She gathers together the mess into a ball of filth, and deposits it into a nearby trash can.
  1147. >"So Anon, about that plan you mentioned?"
  1148. "It seems I went a little too cold turkey with you to begin with. So I'm thinking, you can have pizza more times a week…
  1149. >She visibly grows elated over hearing this.
  1150. "BUT, like your daughter, I'll give you some of the food I make alongside it. This means a smaller portion of pizza, but more often to start with.
  1151. >She deflates a bit upon hearing that she gets less per meal.
  1152. >"Less peetzer per meal but more often...yeah, I think I can do that!"
  1153. >Her stomach makes a strange sound and she groans.
  1154. >"But maybe we can start another time? I don't think I can eat anything else without losing what I already ate.
  1155. >You can't help but let out a laugh.
  1156. >She follows suit and lets out a laugh of her own.
  1157. >At least until…
  1158. >”Hahahaha…*URK*!!!
  1159. >Candyass’s cheeks puff up and she quickly covers her mouth with her hoof before suddenly teleporting away.
  1160. >Nearby you can hear the sound of her blowing chunks in what you assume to be her marecave’s bathroom.
  1161. >After a few minutes she emerges, looking a bit worse than before.
  1162. >”Ugh…my apologies Anon…but I think I need to go lay down.”
  1163. >You nod in understanding.
  1164. “Understood, take care of yourself Cadence. We’ll start what we discussed tomorrow, ok?”
  1165. >She gives a slow nod of her own before teleporting away.
  1166. >Given that Shining Armor is busy, Cadence is dying of pizza poisoning, and Flurry is recovering from having her ass kicked by both the stairs and yourself, you decide to turn in early for the night after cleaning up the kitchen.
  1167. >Progress is being made for Flurry and her mother.
  1168. >So close, yet so far.

/RGRE/ - Monster Herd [WIP]

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/RGRE/ - Twist and Dink-Head 1: Close Encounters of The Filth Kind!

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